02x15 - Song Sung Bad

[bunniefuu]

♪ How did I get here? ♪

♪ I turned around
and there you were ♪

♪ I didn't even
try to rationalize ♪

♪ 'cause somehow I knew ♪

♪ that there was... ♪

Man, Miley is so lucky.

Her voice is so
pure and natural.

Ok, I know I had a
chili dog for lunch,

but there is no way that's me.

Um, Lola?

Oh! Sorry! My bad.

♪ You're one in a million ♪

♪ whoa-oh ♪

♪ yeah... ♪

How'd that sound, dad?

Perfect.

That is such a great song.

Have I told you it's
my mom's favorite?

Hey! Here's a whacky idea.

Her birthday is coming up.

Maybe you can make a special
kind of personal recording,

and I could give it
to her as a present?

You spent all her gift money
on those shoes, didn't you?

They didn't have
them in her size.

I hear ya.

Last Christmas, I bought
daddy these earrings.

See? This is why we're friends.

Exactly.

So you'll do it? You'll
record the song?

Nope. You will.

Ha ha!

You're not kidding.

No. Kidding's when I tell my dad

that he looks good in
that dorky mustache.

Your Mike's still on, darlin'.

Love you!

Lilly, to really
make this special,

you're gonna have
to record the song.

But I don't have
a voice like yours.

You'll be surprised
what you can sound like

in a professional
studio. Trust me.

You're gonna sound great.

Ok.

♪ One in a million ♪

♪ whoa-oh, oh ♪

So, do you think
my mom will like it?

Like it?

She's gonna be speechless.

Right, dad?

Uh... uh... Ya see?

Come on.

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ hot styles, every
shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're famous ♪

♪ it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you ♪

♪ but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have
thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together ♪

♪ and you know that it's
the best of both worlds ♪

Lilly, off-key: ♪ they say
that good things take time ♪

♪ but really great
things happen ♪

♪ in the blink of an eye ♪

♪ but the chances of
meeting somebody like you... ♪

I haven't felt this
queasy since my grandpa

dragged me into that
shirts and skins b-ball game

at the senior center.

Skin was bouncing
more than the ball.

I can live my whole life
without that picture in my head.

You're not actually gonna
give this to her, are you?

Of course not.

I'm gonna give her this one.

♪ They say that good
things take time ♪

♪ but really great
things happen... ♪

Wow. A little reverb,
some overlay. Nice.

Daddy called it
"extreme mix-over...

Lilly edition."

Now she'll never know
how unbelievably... hi, hi!

Completely wonderful she is!

Listen to you, you singer, you.

♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ one in a million... ♪

Oh, my gosh!

I'm fantastic!

Almost too good to believe.

Ugh... But not.

My mom is gonna
be so blown away.

I gotta tell you, I
was a little nervous.

Nobody in my
family can really sing.

Yeah? Heredity
is a powerful thing.

Ow!

For instance, my
mom's feet always hurt,

and now so do mine!

Hey, why don't you just
listen to the headphones?

You know, get the full effect.

I'm trying to do
a nice thing here.

Lilly's happy, her
mom's gonna be happy.

Who's it gonna hurt?

♪ You're one in a million ♪

Any creature with ears.

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa! ♪

Yeah.

Go ahead and look,
but you can't touch.

Dude, what happened to you?

Did you get lost on
the way to the bull fight?

Go ahead and joke.

But my father won my
mother's heart dressed like this.

Your father's a billionaire.

He could have dressed like
a duck and won her heart.

And what d*ed on your lip?

Stop it!

She'll see.

This is all for Sarah?

Oh, come on, rico, what'd
that poor girl ever do to you?

She stole my heart.

I just wish I had someone
who could find out

if she likes me, too.

A friend, a pal.

An easily replaceable employee.

All right, fine!

But lose the 'stache, or
the next thing you know,

she inhales it during a kiss,

you become the
laughingstock of the school,

and you're forced to move
from Tennessee to California!

Believe me, it can happen.

Hey, Sarah, nice pose.

Thanks.

It aligns my chakras.

Well, you're gonna
be in for a "shock-ra"

when you hear
what I have to say.

The president got my letter

and agreed to give Arizona
back to the apaches?

This would go a lot faster
if you'd just stop talking.

Ok.

Look, there's this guy
who really likes you,

but he's kind of shy, and
doesn't want to say anything

until he knows whether
you like him, too.

Oh, my gosh! Does
this guy go to my school?

Yeah. And is he maybe

not the tallest guy around?

Yeah.

Oh, Jackson! I like you, too!

Huh?

Oh, I...

Ow!

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

Ok, all ninth
graders, listen up.

The circus I hired for
the freshman fundraiser

is no longer available.

Aw...

Last night the fire
eater had a bad taco

and burped the
place to the ground.

But no worries.

One of our very own has
come up with a brilliant,

last-minute substitution.

♪ Karaoke night ♪

♪ ahh... ahh ♪
night!

Karaoke night. They get it.

For admission,
you get food, drink,

and the chance to get up
there and be compared to

♪ me ♪

You, you! They get it!

Well, now we know
not all of us can sing

as well as some
people. Stop pointing!

But I still expect to
see everybody here

and singing on Saturday night!

Hey! It's either
this or a car wash.

And, trust me, you don't want to
see this business in a wet t-shirt.

Eh, you, oh...

Hey, Miley, if you're
too gutless to sing,

you can always go up there
and do one of your pig calls.

Oh, you mean like this?

Amber, Ashley, get in here!

Boo-yah!

That's weird. Her
pigs have our names.

Oh... Real mature.

Exactly what we'd expect
from the tone-deaf twins.

In your face!

Ooh! Tss...

Well, what you don't know
is that I happen to have

a really great voice.

What? No!

Lilly, you can't sing!

Up there with Amber.

Why not?

Because I'm coming down

with something... Just
gave it to you. Sorry.

Oh, you two are coming
down with something, all right.

Chicken pox.

Emphasis on the chicken.

I put the emphasis
on the chicken.

What are you so worried about?

You heard that
cd. I can take her.

Hey, check this,
twitney Houston,

I'm gonna sing
you off that stage.

Oh, it is so on.

I'll see you Saturday
night, smelly clarkson.

You heard her, Celine peon.

You can't Celine peon
after I smelly clarkson.

This is gonna be so great.

When she hears my
voice, she's gonna freak.

She ain't the only one, honey.

♪ Well, oh ♪

Hit me again, Marty.

And this time, leave the carton.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't the Sarah stealer!

The babe bandit!

Look, rico, she came on to me.

You really think I want
a 14-year-old girlfriend

whose idea of a hot date is

snuggling around a campfire

roasting gluten-free
marshmallows?

I don't care what you want.

All I care about is
Sarah and her happiness.

That's why I need
you to crush her

and send crawling back to me!

Look, I am not
gonna break her heart.

I'll find another way.

Aren't you lactose intolerant?

What's it to ya?

Hey, Jackson.

This weekend, want to go get

typhoid sh*ts together?

Why would I want to do that?

So we don't get
typhoid when we go

to build alternative housing
in Tanzania, you silly goose.

♪ Bye! ♪

I should be the one risking
infectious disease in Tanzania.

No arguments here.

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ la la la lah la la la lah ♪

♪ try to hit all of the notes ♪

♪ I'm hitting all of the notes ♪

♪

We've been at this for an hour.

I don't want to damage my voice.

Trust me. That
ain't gonna happen.

I don't even know why I need
to do these stupid exercises.

We both know I'm gonna
blow Amber off the stage.

This isn't about Amber.

This about you being
the best you can be.

But I'm already I can be.

Oh, I hope not.

I mean, there's always
room for improvement. Right?

Hey, Lilly.

How'd your mom like
her birthday present?

She ♪ loved it ♪

Did you play it
for her or sing it?

She played it.

Her mom loved it,
and now Lilly has

challenged Amber to a sing-off
in front of the whole ninth grade.

Yep. I'm gonna
sing "I got nerve."

You sure do.

Help me.

You know, Lilly,

your voice reminds me
of another great singer.

Really? Who? Beyonce? Shakira?

Johnny cash. Really?

Huh?

Yeah. You just got
something really special

about your voice,
something honest.

Where you going
with this, cowboy?

Now, see, what Johnny does is

he talks his song.

Brilliant!

Ly. He talks his
songs brilliantly.

♪ We haven't met ♪

♪ but that's ok ♪

♪ 'cause I know you will
be asking for me someday ♪

Whoo! Chills.

Ok. What's going on?

Nothing!

Got anything else?

Can she rap?

Hello! Still in the room.

Daddy, maybe it's time that...

leave? If you insist.

I was gonna say
tell her the truth.

Coward!

Ha ha ha!

Hello!

What truth?

This.

What did you do to my voice?

On this cd, nothing.

On the one you gave
your mom... A lot.

You remixed me?

Technology.

Gotta love it, huh?

Oh, man.

So this is how I'm gonna sound
in front of the whole ninth grade?

Thanks a lot.

Lilly, I'm sorry.

I was just trying to
do something nice.

Oh, like what? Ruin my life?

If I don't sing, Amber
makes a fool out of me,

and if I do sing, I
make a fool out of me.

What do you want from me?

If I could loan you
my voice, I would.

Hit it.

♪ La la la lah la la lah ♪

Sorry. I like to
go for a big finish.

You'll take what I give you.

Yes, ma'am.

Jackson!

Jackson, what are you doing?

Just locking in
perfection, baby.

I call it "shellac-sin
the Jackson."

Gorgeous and
water-resistant to 200 meters.

But aerosol sprays
are ruining our ozone.

Aren't you worried
about global warming?

So my grandkids will
never see a polar bear?

Big whoop!

I never got to see a dinosaur.

You don't see
me crying about it.

Oh, man. I'm all out.

You can't just
leave those there!

They have to be
properly disposed of

in a hazardous waste facility.

Oh, I got a hazardous
waste facility.

The pacific ocean.

But that'll pollute our beaches.

I don't care. Aren't I horrible?

You should break up with me.

Break up with you?

You need me now more than ever.

What?

This is perfect.

I was feeling guilty about
spending time with you

when I could be
saving the world,

but now by spending
time with you,

I will be saving the world.

Ow! Your hair hurts.

All right, look, look.

I don't have a crush on you.

I never had a crush on you.

When I came to talk to you,

I was talking about rico.

He's the one who likes you.

He doesn't look
like he likes me.

Sweet nibblets. Excuse me!

What are you doing?

Chilling with my
new girl rosalita.

But what about sarrrrrah.

You were nuts about her.

I was until I met rrrrosalita.

Sarrrrah.

Rrrrrrr rrrrosalita!

Sarrrrah.

Rrrrrr... Rrrrrr...
rrrr... Rosalita!

Ain't love grand?

Look, Sarah,
I'm really... it's ok.

It's obvious you aren't
emotionally ready for me.

Yes. Yes! Thank
you for understanding.

That's why I'll wait. Huh?

I waited 6 years for the
California low-flow toilet initiative.

And I can wait for you.

Bye!

But I'm not worth waiting for!

Ask anybody!

Yeah! Yep, yep.

Ok. She gets it.

Thanks.

♪ We all want to
believe in love ♪

♪ all want to believe
in something ♪

Oh, man. She sounds good.

Yeah, but you're
gonna sound better.

Oliver's got this Mike patched into
the same frequency as the stage Mike.

So I'll be singing in here;
Your mouth moves out there.

And Amber's mouth
just does this...

Got it.

Oh, remember.

I like a big finish.

I remember. Just
go and have fun.

Singers.

They're all divas.

Whew!

There ain't nothing itsy
bitsy about you, big boy.

♪ We all want to
believe in love ♪

♪ we all want to
believe in something ♪

♪ bigger than us ♪

Whoo!

Thank you, thank you.

I was good, wasn't I?

Ha! That's the always
humble Amber Addison

with "bigger than us."

All right. Who's next?

No way.

Boy, I sure wouldn't
want to go up there

and sing after
someone that wonderful.

Who could possibly follow Amber?

Ooh, I believe the gauntlet
has been thrown down!

Will Lilly truscott pick it up?

Give me that Mike.

You got guts, kid.

That's not all I
got. I got nerve.

Hit it, Oliver.

♪ We haven't met ♪

♪ but that's ok ♪

♪ 'cause you will be
asking for Lilly one day ♪

♪ don't want to wait ♪

I didn't know she
had a voice like that.

She sounds exactly
like... shut up.

But she's amazing!

Amazingly bad.

Ew!

Tss...

♪ And I think that
I can shake you ♪

♪ I know where I
stand I know who I am ♪

♪ I would never run
away when life is bad ♪

♪ it's everything I
see, every part of me ♪

♪ gonna get what I deserve ♪

♪ I got... spider! ♪

♪ Electrified ♪

♪ I'm on the wire ♪

♪ getting together,
we're on fire... aah! ♪

♪ What I said ♪

♪ you heard ♪

♪ now I got you spinning ♪

♪ don't close your mind ♪

♪ ...are open ♪

Yeah. You got nerve, all right?

Just no talent.

Lilly... I am so sorry.

Come on, let's
just get out of here.

Lilly, hold up.

What are you guys laughing at?

At least, she had the
guts to get up there,

even though she did
completely humiliate herself.

Thank you. Come on.

No! Oliver's right.

She did humiliate herself.

I think they heard
it the first time.

What kind of friend are you?

The kind I should
have been all along.

Sure, Lilly doesn't
have a great voice.

Most of us don't.

But does that mean
that we shouldn't sing?

Uh, yeah!

Now, who wants to hear me?

Amber, let's not
♪ inter-ru-rupt ♪

Carry on. I beg you.

Singing shouldn't be
about showing people up.

It should be about
having a great time

no matter what you sound like.

And I should have known that.

Lilly, I'm sorry.

I should've never
messed with that cd.

Your mom would have loved it...

Just 'cause it came from you.

Yeah, she is a big mush-ball.

So, who wants to come up
here and have a good time?

Go up there.

Show them the
real Lilly truscott.

I think she's pretty great.

Thanks.

Mr. Corelli, I want a do-over.

You got it.

Hey, Lilly.

Don't forget your big finish.

♪ With a new attitude ♪

♪ everything can change ♪

♪ thinking how
you wanted to be ♪

♪ ...give yourself a break ♪

♪ laugh about it
and you'll see ♪

♪ life's what you make it ♪

♪ so, let's... Let's
make it rock! ♪

♪ Make it rock ♪

♪ life's what you make it ♪

♪ so, come on, come on ♪

♪ come on, everybody, now ♪

♪ la vida es como tu la haces ♪

♪ so let's make it rock ♪

congratulations, you're
the best singer in the school.

Too bad nobody cares.

Ohh!

Yeah. Ooh!

Ew! No.

Oh, yeah. We do this.

Bam! Bam!