02x26 - Yet Another Side of Me

[bunniefuu]

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- Dahliano, i...
- Buh, buh, buh, buh! Don't speak.

- But i...
- No, no, no!

Don't speak.

Now you may speak!

Honey, this outfit deserves
more than speaking.

It deserves the
Hannah happy dance.

♪ I love my outfit ♪

♪ I love my outfit ♪

♪ she loves her outfit ♪

♪ she loves her outfit ♪

♪ I am a genius ♪

♪ I am a genius ♪

So where will we be wearing us?

The oscars, the
emmys, the grammys?

The sunshine girls.

I'm being honored as
their role model of the year.

Why not just take these pins
and jam them into my flesh?

There will be a ton of rich
moms asking who I'm wearing.

And that is why, as you can see,

you are my favorite pop star.

Dahli? Hello, dahli!

It's !sis.

Move it, pop Princess.
The queen has arrived.

!sis! I love her. "Immaterial
girl" was my theme song

when I was six.

She's my idol. I hog-called
"impress yourself"

at the buford county fair
and won second prize!

Who won first?

Uncle Earl belching
"sweet home Alabama."

Good story. But stop talking

and help me make
this room presentable.

Better.

Hey!

Sweetness, you're adorable,

but you look like raggedy
Ann threw up all over you.

Darling, I'm here.

Oh, my. It's you.

It's me? It's you.

Yes, it is, but it's also
you. I think you're fabulous.

You think I'm fabulous?
I think you're fabulous.

- Thank you.
- Thank me? Thank you.

I grow tired of this.

So what bit of
brilliance is my little dahli

creating for you?

This. What do you think?

Ah! I love it.

Can we have a moment?

Of course.

Darling, do you mind?

I am so glad that
you like my outfit.

Darling, I also like seaweed
wraps, but I don't wear them in public.

I mean, look at that thing.

It's so Hannah Montana.

That's because I
am Hannah Montana.

You, you didn't think I
was someone else, did you?

You want to know how I
survived all these years?

Change, constant change.

New looks, new sound.

You have to know what's
next and do it first because...

♪ If you don't change
do a rearrange ♪

♪ everyone will go ♪

"Oh, she's boring."

- They will?
- Yes!

If you want to stay on top,
you have to think outside

the box.

I always have a
next and a next-next.

And this morning during yoga,

I got a glimpse of
my next-next-next

and Antonio banderas
with his leg behind his head.

Wowza.

So, you already have
your next-next-next?

I don't even know what
I'm having for dinner tonight.

In that case, it was
a nice little career.

Nothing to be ashamed of.

I wasn't...

Until now.

Oh, you're still here?

Hannah...

Dahliano says we have to go.

What do you want to do next?

I don't know.

Ah!

♪ Come on ♪

♪ you get the limo out front ♪

♪ oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ hottest styles every
shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're
famous it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you but
no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have
thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double as a superstar ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ chill it out, take it slow
then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together ♪

♪ and you know that it's
the best of both worlds ♪

Hey, how are you?

It's such a nice day.

Let's go out on the deck
and enjoy it. What do you say?

How can I enjoy the
day? Look at my outfit.

What are you talking about?

It's classic Hannah Montana.

That's a terrible thing to say!

Of course it is. I hate it.

Help me, Lilly.

Well, I would, but I think
I stepped in something.

What?

She met !sis today, who told
her Hannah's career is in trouble.

Now, honey,

why would Hannah's
career be in trouble?

Because if she doesn't
have a next-next,

she's gonna lose her... Pants?

Fans, fans!

Fans, fans!

She thinks if she doesn't
change her sound and her look,

her fans will get bored.

Oh, darling, that's
not gonna happen.

Ah, darling, that
not gonna happen.

I can hear him.

You know how much
your audience loves you.

Now. But what about
a year from now?

!sis has been on top for 20 years
because she always mixes it up.

Oh, sh**t, honey. I know a lot of
pop stars who never mixed it up,

and they still have
great careers today.

Like who?

Who wants pie?

I'll have pie!

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

I'm so excited about going out
with you this weekend, Becky.

You won't be sorry for
giving me a second chance.

Whoa!

Or a third chance?

You know what? You're
cute when you're clumsy.

And you're cute when
your nose is bleeding.

Here. Let me clean
that up for you.

Get out while you can.

He brings everyone
down to his level.

Well, um, I guess

I'll see you Saturday night.

And Thursday and Friday
night from your bushes.

Go away.

- You go away!
- You go away!

- You go away!
- You go away...

You guys are so funny.

You're like two
sisters, but you're boys.

You mean like brothers.

Right. Whatever.

I'm confused. They
say opposites attract,

yet you're both stupid.

I'm gonna let you get away
with that because I'm a nice guy

and because I need an
advance on my salary for my date.

- Sure.
- Oh, come on!

What?

As a matter of fact,
consider it a gift.

Ok...

And what's the catch?

No catch. There is,
however, a condition.

For the rest of today,
every time someone says

the word "dog," you have to...

- Oh, a dog over here.
- Yip!

Can we get seven dogs?

Oh, yeah, rico, I'm barking.

I'm barking all the
way to the bank.

Hey, tomorrow, maybe
I can moo for moolah.

Let's just see where
barking takes us.

What do you want, honey?

I'll have a hot dog.

What did you say to her?

Nothing.

Just get her the hot dog.

You calling my girlfriend a dog?

Oh, that's it. You're dog meat!

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

A new sound. That can't
be too hard to come up with.

Hey! Hey, what about hip hop?

Oh, dude, that'd
be totally cool.

I don't know. You mean like...

Half-dolla Hannah?

♪ I'm a half-dolla Hannah ♪

♪ you can call me five dimes ♪

♪ you can call me anything
as long as it rhymes ♪

♪ and if you don't like it
well, I don't really care ♪

♪ 'cause I'm half-dolla Hannah ♪

♪ and I got facial hair word ♪

Fricky-fricky 'fraid not.

Well, what about
something a little more retro,

you know, like techno Hannah?

Techno Hannah?

♪ Clip it, clip it ♪

♪ clip it real good ♪

♪ then Chip it, Chip it ♪

♪ like Tiger Woods ♪

Oh.

Oh, but no. That
one could hurt people.

I don't understand.

This seems so easy for !sis.

I mean, she can go from
slam rock to glam rock,

from punk to funk.

That's why she's
the queen of pop.

And if I don't do something...

You'll be the queen of flop?

Sorry. It was right there.

I will not be the queen of flop.

If !sis can do a 180
every few years, so can I.

Wait a minute.

That's it.

Of course that's it.

What's it?

I just have to be the
opposite of Hannah,

the anti-Hannah.

Of course! The anti-Hannah.

What's the anti-Hannah?

You'll see.

♪ Oh, ah, oh, ah ♪

♪ well, I used
to be a nice girl ♪

♪ always doin' what I'm told ♪

♪ and I'm here
to tell you, baby ♪

♪ that it's gettin'
kind of old ♪

♪ say good-bye
to all the sparkles ♪

♪ and all the
pretty girly lace ♪

♪ I'm gonna chew
your little heart up ♪

♪ and then I'll spit
it in your face ♪

So, what do you think
of the new Hannah?

♪ Oh ♪

I know. Surprising, isn't it?

Uh, yeah.

And different, right?

Surprisingly different.

Exactly what I was going for,
a Hannah no one will expect.

Or ever wants to see again...

At all.

Maybe. I'm just guessing.

All right. I know it's
a bit edgy for me,

but that's what
!sis said I gotta do.

Surprise my audience.

Well, honey, let's
think about this now.

Surprising them is one thing,

but scaring the bejeebees
out of them is another.

Hey, daddy, um,
I hate to say this,

but you're not exactly the hip
audience I'm trying to reach.

I'll have you know I'm very hip,

fo-sizzle.

Ok, one, it's fo' shizzle.

Fo' years ago.

And second, your idea
of a big Saturday night

is sitting on the couch with
your easy-fit jeans unbuttoned

old-coot division."

Well, I'm sorry
I'm such a geezer.

That didn't seem to bother
anybody when I was writing

fifteen straight number
ones for Hannah Montana.

None of which involved
a face full of sputum.

Sputum?

I think it's
old-coot for "spit."

Y'all like the next
Hannah, right?

One second.

We hate her.

Why?

She scares us.

What do you guys know?

Maybe they know what's good.

Oh, please. They
wouldn't know what good is

if it hit them in the face.

Hey! Leave us out
of your little disputum.

- Nice word play.
- Thank you.

Well, at least we know the
title of Hannah's next album.

"Like me or I'll hit
you in the face."

Come on. You guys are all
just trying to keep me in a...

Box.

And an artist has
to keep moving.

And if you don't agree with me,

I don't care.

Miley, I'm sorry, but
this is a really bad idea.

A bad scary idea.

Honey, I don't want to tell
you what to do, but just...

Then don't. I know
what I am doing,

and I am going to
prove it to you tomorrow.

The next Hannah is
going to blow the roof off

of the sunshine girls benefit.

Sweet niblets.

I'm gonna have to buy myself a
truckload of sunshine girl cookies

to get myself out of this one.

Well, that was
the best day ever.

Here you go, rover.

Oh, who's a good boy?

What is wrong with you?

Couldn't you find something
better to do with your day?

You know, the next
time you're bored,

why don't you go hang out
with your friends or something?

Wait a minute. You don't
have any friends, do you?

Hey! I got plenty
of friends. There's...

No, he's suing me.

Ok, b-b-but there's...
No, I'm suing him.

I'm really good friends
with my brother Mateo.

Well, we will be if he ever
agrees to settle out of court.

You know, rico, maybe if
you were just nice to people

instead of making them
dance like a monkey,

people would actually
want to hang out with you.

- Wait.
- What?

You're right. I shouldn't
have made you do all that.

It's just...

Making friends isn't
something I'm good at.

Well, gee, I wonder why.

I think it's because
the world is full of idiots.

My mom says it's my attitude.

Idiot.

Look, rico, did you ever think

that maybe if you
treated me a little better,

I'd be your friend.

Well, I was hoping for a
higher-class friend, but...

Rico.

Right. You'd really be
my friend. No catch?

Or condition.

So, you want to go
back to my house

and pay my brother to
dance like a monkey?

Rico!

Fine.

Want to go see a movie?

Sure.

Hey, you want me to
wrap you up like a baby

so you can get in for free?

Jackson, this could
be the beginning

of a beautiful friendship.

♪ Oh ♪

Nobody understands.

An artist has to grow.

Whee, doggies! Howdy,
I'm robby ray. Let's kick it!

Oh, yeah, we'll
kick it, all right.

Anti-Hannah style.

Oh, yeah, you're gonna
see tomorrow, buddy.

You just... I'm
talking to a doll.

Oh, yeah, the new
Hannah's going to sleep,

and she ain't gonna
brush her teeth

because I'm bad to the bone.

I'm bad to the bone.

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪

I'm so excited, and I
know you all are, too.

So let's give a warm
sunshine welcome

to the sunshine girls'
role model of the year,

Ms. Hannah Montana.

♪ Well, I used
to be a nice girl ♪

♪ always doing what I'm told ♪

♪ and I'm here
to tell you, baby ♪

♪ that it's gettin'
kind of old ♪

♪ say good-bye
to all the sparkles ♪

♪ and all the
pretty girly lace ♪

♪ gonna chew
your little heart up ♪

♪ and then I'll spit
it in your face ♪

♪ I don't like nobody ♪

♪ parents, teachers,
or the schools ♪

♪ gonna ditch when I want to ♪

♪ gonna break
all of the rules! ♪

♪ Gonna break all
of the rules now ♪

♪ gonna break all of the rules ♪

♪ I'm gonna break
all of the rules now ♪

♪ gonna stick it
to those fools ♪

♪ ow! Ow! ♪

Stop. Wait, wait,
guys. It's just a song.

Ugh. Stop it! It's just a song.

I didn't mean it.

Stop!

Put your parent down!

Remember the old Hannah?

♪ You're a true friend ♪

♪ you're here till the end ♪

Sing with me.

Guys!

Guys, seriously, stop.
Someone is gonna get hurt.

Whoa! Daddy, help me!

I'm a little tied up right now.

Great song, though. Great song.

Yo, tarzana! Put me down!

Not like that!

Oh. Oh.

What's going on?

You ok?

Yeah. It was just a bad dream.

What were you gonna do,
raccoon him to smithereens?

I just grabbed what
was on the nightstand.

You have an angry
raccoon on your nightstand?

Honey, buster's also a light.

I just got him yesterday.

I don't know how people
decorated before the Internet.

I don't know what's scarier...

My dream or the fact
that you paid for that thing.

Well, I'll tell you the truth,
honey, if you want to talk about it,

if you're still mad at me,
buster's a heck of a listener.

You're right.

I don't want to be a
hard-edged Hannah.

That's not the kind of message
I want to send to my fans.

What about keeping
your audience interested?

There's got to be a way
to keep them interested

and still be me.

Sure, !sis can change
who she is all the time,

but I like who I am

and I'm not gonna change
just to hold on to an audience

that hasn't even left me yet.

Well, as long as
you're true to yourself,

your fans will always be there.

I hope you're right.

Now, go ahead. Tell
me how wrong I was.

Bring it on.

I'd love to, but the truth is

I was the one that was wrong.

Raccoon swingin' daddy say what?

Yeah. As an artist, you've got
to have the freedom to explore.

I wasn't giving you that.

Aw. Thanks, daddy.

How am I ever gonna become
an angry misunderstood teenager

with a daddy like you?

I heard shouting.
What's going on?

Why does everyone have
a light-up critter but me?

Oh. No, Dave doesn't light up.

He's a pencil sharpener.
You just, uh, lift his tail...

I don't need to see that!

I never grow tired of you.

Dahli!

Eh, Hannah, darling,
what are you doing here?

I just came by to cancel
my new Hannah look.

I won't be needing the torn
fishnets, the combat boots,

or the bullwhip.

On second thought,
send me that bullwhip.

I could use that on my brother.

Yes, yes, of course.
Well, bye-bye.

Oh.

I see. !sis is here.

Oops.

A little slow on the
draw there, partner.

Oh, dahliano, I
love my new look.

Oh, awkward.

This is your next-next?

Well, it seems to work for you.

Yo, dahli, on second thought,

give me that bullwhip now.

Yeah, that's right, honey.
You'd better back off.

- Ha!
- Ah!

♪ Oh, oh, oh yeah ♪

♪ yeah ♪