02x28 - Joannie B. Goode

[bunniefuu]

Miley, what's wrong?

Did you get a "D" in algebra?

Nuh-uh.

A "D" in science?

You saw your yearbook picture?

No. I...

What's wrong with
my yearbook picture?

Nothing. It's a sweet smile.

It says, "I'm friendly,
and I like... Spinach."

This is what I get
for eating healthy.

So... what are you listening to?

Only the most
romantic e-book ever.

"Love beyond love,
a story of love"?

Did you get to the
part at the flea market

where Chloe and
Jacques both reach for

that romantic book of poetry?

Their hands just touched.

Their eyes just met.

And the air was filled
with a thousand violins.

Yeah, I saw your yearbook
picture, too, Stewart.

So sad... that beautiful
piece of spinach

surrounded by all that ugly.

Yeah, well, I saw your
yearbook picture, too, joannie.

Looks just like you. Sorry.

You really want to go
there with me, truscott?

Any day, palumbo.

Except wednesdays you got piano.

Except wednesdays.
But any other day.

Ooh, I'm scared, truscott...

Or should I say "wimpcott"?

Oh.

Hee hee hee.

I hate her so much, I
name my boogers after her.

You know, we should
feel sorry for her.

A girl like that
will never find love

like Chloe did with Jacques.

Sorry. Here. This is
your poetry... Book.

No! No!

Come on!

♪ you get the limo out front ♪

♪ ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ hottest styles, every
shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're
famous, it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you, but
no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have
thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ chill it out, take it slow,
then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together,
and you know ♪

♪ that it's the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ ooh ooh whoa ♪

well, uh... Sorry.

I'm sorrier. I'm sorriest.

this whole thing is sorry.

uh... well... bye.

bye. Bye.

hi. Hi.

snap out of it!

what?

she's evil.

yeah. And she's been that way

since the second grade.

I loved that kite.

I love my kite. I love my kite.

I love... My kite!

ha ha ha.

I love my balloon. I
love my balloon. I love...

my balloon!

ha ha ha.

no way you are dating

that kite-cutting,
balloon-popping

wart on a big monkey butt!

yeah. She's...

you know when you
go to "big monkey butt,"

I can't top that.

anyway...

you never liked joannie before.

why now?

well, I never really looked
into her eyes before,

those deep green...

vats of moldy toxic
fungus! Those eyes?

Aah!

Please promise us
you won't ask her out.

Please! Quick!

Ok. All right. Fine.
I won't ask her out.

Good call.

I picked up yours by mistake.

I'd love to. Do
you want to go out?

I need to use the bathroom.

No problem, kid.
That'll be one dollar.

But I don't have a dollar.

You should have thought of that

before you had that
extra-large drink.

But you talked
me into buying it.

Did I?

Aah!

Hi. So, what's good here?

Oh... you're looking at it.

And if you act right now,

I'll throw in a romantic evening

and an order of macho nachos.

Wow. Well, talk
about your value meal.

I'm sorry. Did
that actually work?

No. But I've been
watching you for a while,

and I think you're cute.

So when do I get that
evening of romance?

Let me check my schedule.
February, march, July...

How about tonight?

What?

Hey, Jackson.

I see you've met my cousin.

Your cousin? She's your cousin.

You're so funny.

I can't wait to see you tonight.

Oh, boy.

I know. Cute, huh?

Except for that weird laugh.

Annoying!

A little bit.

This is crazy. It's almost noon,

and we haven't heard anything
from Oliver about the date.

Come on, Lilly. We've
just got to think positive.

I mean, the date
probably went awful,

and he ran away
in screaming terror.

Or it went great,
and he's strolling

towards us happily in love.

Oh, hey, guys.

Come on, big-o.

Let's go some place
with a nicer view.

Yeah. You'd better get
her off the beach, big-o.

Didn't you read the
signs? No dogs allowed.

You want to go,
truscott? Bring it on!

Hey. Hey.

Ok.

Listen, love doodle,

you promised you'd be nice.

Love doodle? Love doodle?

Let me take care of this.

Go over to the
boardwalk and get yourself

a ceramic dolphin. My treat.

Thanks, big-o.

Ok, guys, you know
what? I really like her.

Can't you at least try to
be nice to her... For me?

Oliver, when you
put it that way... No.

Some friends you are.

Oliver, stop.

Can't you just give it a sh*t?

Invite her to a
sleepover or something.

Like we'd ever have a
sleepover with joannie.

Fine. We'll invite her.

Girl who always says
"say what?" Say what?

♪ Ooh, yeah, whoa, whoa ♪

I can't believe you
dragged me into this.

Just remember
that it's for Oliver.

Fine. Look. I set
up her sleeping bag.

Are you happy?

A rubber snake?

Come on, Lilly.
You're better than that.

Yeah, I know. It's real.

Get that thing out of here!

I'll get rid of this snake
if you get rid of that one.

Lilly!

Fine.

Come on, wiggly.

You don't want to
meet her anyway.

And here we are.

Hey, guys.

Remember...

My friends are your friends.

Whatever you say, honey.

Ok. Well, all right. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye-bye. Bye.

Let's get this over with.

Good to see you, too, joannie.

Lilly, say hi to joannie.

Uh. Whatever.

So... this is just going
to be so much fun.

What do you girls
want to do tonight?

Puke. Leave.

Well, it can only
go up from here.

♪ Yeah, yeah, oh ♪

I can't believe this.

Yeah, and I can't believe

that you and rico
are from the same...

Family?

I was going to say species.

Ok. Ok. I'm really
not that funny.

I mean it! Stop!

Ok.

Is something wrong?

No. It's just... Sand in my eye.

Evil little grains of sand.

Now, where were we?

I've been waiting for
this moment all night.

Sorry. I... Have to... Poop?

♪ Ooh, yeah, whoa, whoa ♪

And now, milna,

it's your turn to
travel with Lance.

Aw... Aw... Eat
plasma, alien scum!

Will you keep it down, palumbo?

You keep it down, truscott.

Make me.

You know, I was
thinking we could do

something a little
more slumber-partyish.

How about a good
old-fashioned pillow fight?

Actually, I was thinking...

Sounds good to me.

Or we can play... A board game

or do our nails or
talk about Oliver.

Oliver.

How we love that he... That he..

Aah!

He is bringing us together.

Whoa!

♪ Ooh ♪

Just pick something!

Now, Lillian, I am sure

there is a nicer way
you could say that.

You're right. Joannie...

Will you please
just pick something?

Fine!

How does she have a
career? She's terrible.

Ok, it's official.
I hate her, too!

No, milian, I am sure

there's a nicer way
you can say that.

Look at that. Her big, fat lips

don't even match that
squeaky little voice.

That's it.

Oh!

Yes, Oliver?

How's it going?

Great.

Then why aren't
you sitting with her?

How do you know that?

Go home.

Ok. I love you guys for trying.

You're the best. Bye.

What do we do now? We
can't be friends with her.

Well... we're doing
this for Oliver.

The least we can do is fake it.

Fine.

Enough of this
garbage. Hockey. Yes!

Ooh... I love hockey!

You do?

Yeah. Who doesn't like hockey?

Yeah. Miley likey hockey.

Ha ha ha!

Hey, is that Mario lachambeaux?

Yeah. He's making
another comeback.

If the guy gets any older,

they're gonna have to
put blades on his Walker.

No kidding. Check it.

It looks like he had

more face lifts than face-offs.

Yeah. I bet he's so old,

he, like, can't even
sh**t a touchdown. Uh!

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

No. Joannie...

We're 10,000 feet
up. Stop pushing!

Huh?

What? Huh? Stop!
Where's my parachute?

Joannie!

That was horrible.

Don't worry. It was
just a bad dream.

I was talking about last night.

In my dream, I went splat,

but at least I got
away from joannie.

So, where is the wicked
witch of the west coast?

Oh, she's in the bathroom.

Stealing soap, no doubt.

So... good job with the
hockey thing last night.

Way to fake it.

Uh, yeah, about that...

Um... somewhere
between the hockey game

and the spitting contest,
it stopped being fake.

Girl who says I say
"what" say what?

Well, first she
wanted to put your bra

in the freezer, but I said, "no.

"Let's go out on the deck

and have a spitting
contest instead."

Going to work.

By the way, it's a
little slippery out there.

What do you mean
you stopped faking?

What up, t-cott?

Yo, yo, p-Bo.

Yo, yo.

How long was I asleep?

What was that thud?

Oh, Jackson took
a dip in lake loogey.

Sweet!

I know. Yea... uh...

You seem to have
forgotten something.

We hate her.

Oh, we did, but
now, not so much.

Hey, how'd it go?

'Cause I don't know
'cause I wasn't here.

We actually had
fun, and Lilly's gonna

play in the pick-up
hockey game today.

She is? Mm-hmm.

You are?

Didn't I tell you that?

See you at the rink, t-cott.

Sock it, lock it, put
it in your pocket.

This is so cool.

Mm-hmm. Come here.

Well, look at that.
A roomful of bff...

F... f... f's.

I hadn't seen that many f's

since Jackson's
last report card.

Ha ha ha! Whoo! Dang, I'm funny.

Well, thanks, t-cott.

I had a great time.

And Miley, I... Oh, well, bye.

I'll see you at the game.

You know, you can come
to the game, too, if you want.

How could you do this to me?

Miley, if you just give
joannie a chance...

Give her a chance?

She pushed me out of a plane.

You were dreaming.

Oh, she would have done it.

Well, can we talk
about this later?

I promised joannie
I'd warm up with her

before the game.

Bye.

Did you see that,
daddy? They're all friends.

Well, that's just wrong.

Kids being friends,
doing stuff together?

There ought to
be a law against it.

A law, I tell you!

I'm serious. They're already

doing stuff without me
after a couple of days.

Where's it gonna end?

Out of the way!
Get out of the way!

Out of the way!

Guys, wait for me! Whoo-hoo!

Hey, y'all. Do you guys
want to hang out today?

No way, Milly.

We've got a hockey game today.

I can't believe you were
friends with that loser.

My name's Miley.

Oh, come on, mile.

Lilly and Oliver is never
gonna forget about you.

You're right. They won't...

Because I'm not gonna let them.

If they want to play hockey,

I can hock it up
with the best of them.

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

Hey.

Jackson.

You feeling better?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. Um...

Look, about last night...

It wasn't really my stomach.

The truth is, I got this thing

with rico, and I
just... one sec.

What?

No, Miley, I don't
have a hockey stick.

I don't know. Try a
sporting goods store...

Or Canada.

Hey, thanks for waxing my board.

I'll finish up. Your
board's in the back.

Cool.

I don't care. I'm busy. Buh-bye.

Oh!

Oh, man. It's getting worse.

What's getting worse?

Just don't talk. Please.

I need to get over this,

and there's only
one way to do that.

Uh, Jackson,
what are you... shh!

What I should
have done last night.

Uh!

I really like you,

and this is going
to fix everything.

Aah!

Jackson, what are you doing?

I was going to ask
the same question!

This is not what it looks like!

He said you were weird!

Is this your way of trying

to kiss up to the
boss? It's not working!

♪ Ooh, yeah, ooh, ah-ah ♪

Hey, big-o.

Hey, Jo-Jo.

You know, you
looked great out there.

Mmm.

Oh!

Here.

Yeah, nice outfit, Stewart.

Playing hockey or baking a cake?

Good one, p-Bo!

Whoa!

Who's the dork?

It's Miley. Miley.

Miley!

You're here. That's
great. You look... Great.

And I feel great, t-cott. Oh!

Get ready to sock
it, lock it, and rock it,

because this girl
knows how to hock it.

Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!
I got it in my mask!

Ew!

Miley, I'm really
glad you're here,

but are you sure
you want to do this?

Yeah. I mean, if you and Oliver

are going to hang out
with joannie, so am I.

But... you stink at sports.

Oh, come on. Stop worrying.

Everything's
going to be totally...

Fine.

Missed me, sucker! Ha
ha! Nah nah nah-nah nah!

Ooh!

Nothing gets past the wall.
Nothing gets past the wall.

Hey, I caught it.

Daddy.

Oh. Ugh... I heard a ding.

Are my brownies ready?

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

Oh, look, Miley, here
comes Oliver with more ice.

You remember Oliver.

Mm-hmm.

Are you feeling
any better, Miley?

No.

I'm b*at up. I smell like a...

A giant sweat sock,

and p-Bo is stealing
my best friends.

What? What are
you talking about?

She's not stealing anybody.

But you're right
about that sweat sock.

It's a little stinky.

Miley, do you really think

just because I kind
of like joannie now,

it means I'm not going to
be your best friend anymore?

Well... yeah. Maybe a little.

I mean, I thought I
was losing you guys.

I wasn't thinking.
I'm injured! Be nice!

Miley, you're always
gonna be my best girl bud.

Hey! One of my
two best girl buds.

But... I don't like
your girlfriend.

That's cool. She
doesn't like you either.

But you tried. That means a lot.

So you don't care that I think

that she's a wart on
a big monkey butt?

Is that ok if I use that now?

All yours.

Look, I'm dating
someone you don't like.

Odds are that we're
going to date people

the other two can't stand.

Yeah. You remember Josh?

Oh... oh, and Trey.

Oh... Oh!

Oh, my gosh. And Jake.

Guys... You made your point.

Look, the important thing
is we just have to trust

that this is strong
enough to handle anything.

Ooh... Ooh...

You know, I could
learn to like hockey.

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

Hi. What's good here?

Oh, you're looking at it.
And if you act right now,

I'll throw in an
evening of romance

and an order of macho nachos.

You're cute.

One sec.

I can't believe
that worked again!

Hey, Jackson. I see
you've met my sister.

Huh?

Hey, hot stuff,
want to go dancing?

Go away!

Excuse me?

missed me. Missed me.
Bet you want to kiss me.

I would never kiss you!

fine! Kiss this, jerk!

you are ruining my life!

aw... you say the
sweetest things.