06x17 - Christian Troy II

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Nip/Tuck:

Christian Troy. Sean
McNamara, right?

I was seeing the
future of medicine.

- Plastic surgery?
- The wave of the future.

Tell me what you don't
like about yourself?

- My ass.
- My eyes.

- My knees.
- Your knees?

Everything.

Your right eye is half
a millimeter higher

than your left. I'd give
you Botox here, here.

Your breasts could go one size bigger
and finish off with some abdominal lipo.

Ease every problem there is.

- Would you have to fix anything?
- Liposuction right here.

Now your boobs, lift
them just a little bit.

Here. Here.

- You are a model of physical perfection.
- But I can be better.

I've identified these
as my problem areas.

Diet? Is that what we
tell the 20 people a week...

who come in here?
We're in the quick-fix biz.

- I think you could go up to a Double-D.
- A C.

Can I go bigger?

I wanna do whatever
it takes to be beautiful.

Beauty is symmetry
and you don't have any.

"Tell us what you don't
like about yourselves."

Is that what you still
ask all your consults?

Well done, you remembered.

- Yep.
- Do you remember us?

Of course. Maureen...

and Marshall Ayers from Miami.

- First came to see us in '02, right?
- Yeah, yeah. Real-estate brokers, right?

"If you want someone who
cares, buy your home from Ayers."

Yeah, we figured that
getting dual facelifts

would help to boost
our business back then.

The housing market was so hot,
you needed to do anything to compete.

Image was everything, and projecting
success meant looking younger.

Of course. And those
are ours too, aren't they?

Yep. Oh, and my calf implants.

- Still look great, don't they?
- Yeah.

Huh?

What brings you to Los Angeles?

- You guys. CHRISTIAN:
What were you thinking?

Maybe a feather lift, or remove
some of the puffiness around the eyes?

We want you to
reverse everything.

You guys sold us
a bad bill of goods.

So let me get this straight, you
want us to undo your facelifts?

- And take out the implants.
- So you can look worse?

So we can look real.

Forgive me, but for your
ages you both look pretty good.

Pretty good? I think they look great.
The issue is not about undoing anything.

It's about teaching you about
the techniques that we use today.

You don't get it. It's not about refining
a procedure. It's the whole concept.

Look, back in the 1940s...

doctors recommended cigarettes
to their patients to calm them down.

Now, look what we know about
those cancer sticks. It's no different.

Nobody d*ed from looking
too young or too beautiful.

If you wanna take them out,
fine. Do whatever you gotta do.

It's not gonna cost you less
than when we put them in.

We were hoping there
would be no charge.

Our business has dropped over
50 percent in the last three years.

It's because of how we look.

We used to be the
faces you could trust.

With this tightness, we look like we're
just advertising our own self-loathing.

Would you buy a house
from someone like that?

We made the choice
to get the work done...

but we were led to believe
that society accepted it.

You know, the times,
they are a-changing...

and if you guys don't keep up you're
gonna get swept away, just like us.

Oh, Sean, Christian, would
you grow up, for God's sakes?

God's sakes.

Dr. Cruz?

Hi, I'm Daniella Creighton.

- Your friendly drug dealer.
- Oh, right.

Very cute.

- Chicken?
- I think it's a turkey.

So, what's the new groundbreaking
anesthesia I must have?

Sunedra. Fospropofol disodium...

and it converts into
Propofol once inside the body.

Okay, well, hit me. Why is
Sunedra better, in 10 words or less?

Heh. Eliminates negative
aftereffects of general anesthesia...

eighty-nine percent of time.

- Just made it.
- Ha-ha.

- Was that 10?
- Yeah, that was 10.

What is it, Lizzy? We came as
soon as we heard your shriek.

- Does this belong to you?
- The turkey?

I've never seen that turkey in
my life. Dr. Troy, how are you?

- Daniella Creighton.
- Great.

- Penkala Pharmaceuticals.
- Sean McNamara.

- Nice to meet you.
- It's nice to meet you too.

I've got some great
discounts. Uh...

Two of our best clients recently took
early retirement so we're overstocked.

- Really? Anybody we know?
- Dr. Chaiken and Dr. Gaines.

Chuck Gaines. Jesus,
he's younger than I am.

Yeah, I think he got depressed. He
kept saying how plastic surgery was over...

and he didn't wanna be the
last one to turn the lights out.

So will you take a look at the
clinical test results and get back to me?

- I sure will.
- Even if it's a no.

I will.

- It was really nice meeting you.
- It was really nice meeting you.

Yeah, see you. DANIELLA: Ciao.

Wow.

- Was she really coming on to me.
- She was wearing a wedding ring.

Yeah, so? Married women
have flirted with me before.

- I mean, it's called "bi-curious."
- It's called "buy my stuff."

You know, I don't think she
was here just to sell me dr*gs.

I mean, after 30 years
of being a lesbian...

I think that I have some instincts
about these things, you know.

Fine. Just be careful, okay?
You only have one kidney left.

Oh, you turkey.

Wow. Couples coming in to
have their plastic surgery reversed.

Doctors like Gaines closing their doors.
This might be a trend we're looking at.

Jesus, one couple are
retiring and you start to panic.

I'm just saying, it might
be smart to diversify...

maybe bring on a
dermatologist to do more fillers.

You ever eaten at Lawry's?

It didn't change its menu
when the whole country...

decided to change its eating
habits. It stuck with what it did best:

Meats, potatoes, salads.

Plastic surgery will die when people look
in themselves for beauty and self-esteem.

And a herd of geese
will fly up my ass.

You are the perfect
candidate for injectables.

- You a smoker, Sean?
- No.

- Never?
- No.

You drink, though.

Looking at your face...

I'd say you're a "three
Scotch a night" man.

This creepy area
here, dehydration.

Nothing turns you
into an old man faster.

I can see I need some
help. What is your plan?

I'd start with 15 cc's of
Cosmoderm in the lip lines.

Been feeling a little bitter
and judgmental lately?

Now no one will know
what you're thinking.

They'll just be drawn to
your positive, boyish charm.

10 cc's of Radiesse,
bye-bye jowls.

10 cc's of lidocaine...

and definitely some Botox.

How amazing is that?

Hmm.

- Not bad.
- Stay there.

I don't do this for
everyone, but...

you are so cute.

But you don't feel
the winds of change.

Plastic surgery is
just not cool anymore.

We're being called
to a higher purpose.

People just feel wrong about...

self-mutilation for
youth and prestige.

And who has two weeks
recovery time? It is so 2004.

So toxins and face fillers
are your higher purpose?

What's yours, dare I ask?

I haven't found it yet,
but at the moment...

I just mutilate people
for youth and prestige.

Call me the face of 2004.

Did you have a chance to read
the results from the clinical trials?

No. I'm sorry, but I have not.

Mm.

- Listen, um...
- Dani.

Dani.

Uh... I feel very comfortable
staying with the Propofol.

I'm used to it and...

I'm just gonna stay with it.

Okay, then.

- Well, it was nice to have met you.
- Very nice to meet you too.

You wouldn't wanna...

I don't know, um...

have lunch with me
some time, would you?

I promise, no shoptalk.

How do you feel your husband
is gonna feel about that?

We're separated.

But you're right. I'm sorry.

I just... I have
these thoughts...

fantasies and I never
act on them, but...

- you just... You seem so...
- Available?

Beautiful.

Oh, God.

I'm so sorry. I'm just...
I'm going through a phase.

I don't eat lunch.

We always have
a lot of yogurt here.

On the other hand...

I am very partial to dinner.

I'm never gonna have a facelift.
Botox maybe, but no facelifts.

That's the reason you're
an anesthesiologist, Lizzy...

and not a successful
surgeon like myself.

- Not willing to go the distance.
- You're dead wrong, smarty pants.

The reason I became
an anesthesiologist...

is so that I could switch my
specialties whenever I wanted.

Call me in a year when you're
standing over an empty table...

and I'm making bank over at
the Heart Institute at Cedars.

Oh. Look who's here,
fancy pants. Huh?

You look good. Get an extra hour
of sleep? Is that why you're late?

Yeah, you look like
a different person.

Well, I went to see Jill
Jacobson yesterday.

I sampled from her
injectables menu.

Why did you go to her? We
can do anything she does.

Dermatologists specialize in that kind of
treatment and they do a much better job.

Fine, okay? But when the stuff wears
off, I don't want you going back to her.

If anybody should be stabbing you
with a needle, it's me. Not competition.

She's not the competition
anymore. I hired her this morning.

You can't hire
without my approval.

Don't worry. You'll love her.

You're having dinner
with her tomorrow night.

- Christian Troy?
- That's me.

Have a seat. We're
running a little behind today.

Hmm.

Hey.

Is it always this busy?

No. It's usually worse.

- So you come here quite a bit, then.
- Every six weeks.

Wow.

- That must be awful.
- No, it's not so bad.

Just like getting a haircut.

I meant, wasting time on
something that doesn't work.

I beg your pardon.

You do realize that if you only use
injectables you'll never be satisfied.

There's the high of looking
good when you get it done.

But then you start seeing the
spots the doctor missed right away.

Like these lines, here.

Of course, the doctor is only
too willing to squeeze you in.

- It's more money for her.
- Thank you for seeing me again.

Good to have you back.

- Just right here, I noticed.
- Okay.

You can't argue with
the results, though.

If you're looking for real value,
for the long-lasting results...

the only thing you can rely
on is a qualified surgeon.

Anyone?

Great.

Thank you.

Lois?

What happened here?

- I thought we were overbooked.
- They all got a better offer.

How dare you get rid
of my patients like that?

They left of their
own free will.

Only after you fed them some bullshit
line about the marvels of plastic surgery.

Actually, it was an educated
decision based on years of practice.

Of course, I didn't do a one-year
course at a community college...

to become a beautician.

So I'm sure that I missed
out on some of the finer points.

Oh, I get it.

This is some kind of test
to see what I'm made of...

before we start
working together.

Oh, we're not working
together, sweet cheeks.

My partner needed my
approval for you to come aboard...

and I came to tell you
that I don't approve.

- Things are really bad, aren't they?
- Excuse me.

The business. It must be...

- or you wouldn't look like such sh*t.
- Ha-ha-ha.

- I think you need my help.
- I got a better idea.

You come to my office and I'll fill out
that cleavage. What are you, an A cup?

Is that a problem for you?

That and your
pancake ass, but...

we could fix that too.

Hmm. And...

what exactly...

would you do to
my ass, Dr. Troy?

Why don't you just give
us a quick look here, huh?

This ass?

There's a lot I
could do with that.

Could definitely take
you up to a C cup.

Should we lock the door?

Why, huh? All your
patients are gone.

Actually, there's probably
another 10 out there right now.

See, I can book every
15 minutes for 8 hours.

But since you're
part of the old guard...

I guess you'll never get to experience
what I really had to offer you...

which was a future.

Tell Sean I said "thanks
for the opportunity."

I will.

And if you change your mind
about the C cup, you let me know.

sh*t.

Just a minute.

Butterfingers.

- Come on in. Come on in.
- Thank you.

I'd keep your shoes on.

- Okay. Okay.
- Yeah.

- It's beautiful here, huh?
- Oh, thank you.

So would you like some wine? I
got some white and some red...

that my husband
brought back from Napa.

Uh... He's an expert.

I think he knew more about
wines than he knew about me.

Oh, God, I didn't
even ask if you drank.

I've heard that most
lesbians are alcoholics.

Oh.

Well, I must be in the
sober minority. I prefer red.

- Me too. Isn't that wild?
- Yeah.

- Oh.
- Oh.

- Can I use this?
- Oh, God.

- Help coming. To the rescue.
- Oh, good.

- Is this your first date with a woman?
- Is it that obvious?

Just a little bit.

Look, believe me, I'm
not just experimenting.

I'm, like, 75 percent
sure that I'm gay.

Seventy-five percent, huh?

Hmm?

I've...

I've always been
attracted to women.

And...

Then there's the fact that in
all the years with my husband...

I never once had... You know...

- Hmm.
- Well, bottoms up.

Oh, sh*t, I didn't mean that.

What you doing?

I am taking care of
the other 25 percent.

It's just...

I've never...

And...

I just don't want you
to expect too much.

I don't expect anything. Okay?

I just want you to
have a good time.

I don't care if you orgasm.

Just trust me, it's
gonna be okay. All right?

Okay.

I trust you.

You might wanna call
your injectables wench.

Tell her she won't be having a job
here. I'm not budging on that one.

So don't tax your already overworked
brain trying to talk me out of it.

Yeah, I think we're on
the same page about that.

- Whoa. What happened to you?
- Too much filler.

- You went back a second time.
- And a third.

- And a third.
- Yeah, laugh away, pal.

- You're gonna be doing the correction.
- I'm not laughing.

Five cc's of Hyaluronidase
wherever she injected me.

So, fellas, I just got off the
phone with a Bernie Greenstein...

who says he's representing the Ayers,
and they are filing a lawsuit against us.

Claiming loss of income due to
misrepresentation and malpractice.

Oh, my God, look at
you. Who did you piss off?

Don't.

He's trying to get a
court order to see a list

of our patients hoping
that there are more...

- disgruntled folks.
- Bernie Green-d*ck is an assh*le.

And everything he touches
turns to tabloid headlines, okay?

Can we put the lawsuit aside and
bring the swelling down, please.

You were wrong. We
have plenty to worry about.

All people need to do is hear
the name McNamara/Troy...

in context with a lawsuit
and we're screwed.

Ow.

I can't worry about that.
There's nothing we can do.

It's all over anyway.

The whole pursuit of
perfection is a gigantic hoax.

- Nothing changes.
- We need to put up a fight, all right?

I'm gonna get a feather
lift and you'll give it to me.

And you're gonna show
the world what we do here.

Ow. That would do what, besides
take you out of surgery for a week?

You'll be the poster
boy for injectables.

I'll be the face of the business
and the future of plastic surgery.

All right, old man.

- You sure you're ready to do this?
- Hold on, I didn't get that.

Wait, can you say your
line again for me, please?

What are you doing?

It's okay, she's filming
this. I asked her to.

We're gonna put the
whole thing on YouTube.

- The surgery?
- Yes, it's pioneering.

Just like we use to be. Any
luck, this whole thing will go viral...

and the world will get to see just
how easy a facelift can be these days.

Oh, yeah, that'll work.

We get a half a million hits, you
wait. We'll go from being sued...

to being stars again. Huh?

Look, I know it makes you a little anxious
being on camera, messy TV-star guy.

- So just pretend it's not there, okay?
- Okay.

Okay. Now, say your
line again and do it good.

Uh...

Are you sure you're
ready to do this?

Abso... Absolutely, doc.

- Let's operate.
- Music.

Sweet dreams.

Can you feel it? I mean,
the energy is just electrifying.

And in a few minutes,
we'll be at the end of an era.

And everybody who is anybody who
no longer looks the way they use to...

will be here tonight.

Speaking of that, look who is
here. It's Dr. Sean McNamara.

- Hello. Don't you look dashing?
- Sean.

Well, when they told me
that we'd be celebrating...

the demise of plastic surgery tonight
I knew I couldn't show up in scrubs.

- And this is your date?
- Yes, this is my new partner, Curtis.

I love your outfit.

Well, thank you. My
daughter picked it out.

Oh, hello. Don't tell me. Valentino,
right? Crocodile collection.

I have the same
thing in my closet.

Well, we should get going.
We're already late as it is.

Sean, wait.

Ah! Look who's here.

The one man who single-handedly
destroyed the fine art of plastic surgery:

Dr. Christian Troy.

What are you doing,
trying to crash the party?

- I have to stop him.
- If anyone needs to be stopped...

I think it's you. Maybe
you'll learn from the lawsuit.

What do you think about that?
Hey, doc, who are you wearing?

Oh. Yeah, I got him right here.

Oh, sir, I'm sorry. This is a
private party. You can't come in.

Your name, it's not even
on the list. Please step back.

Sean, wait.

Wait.

- Such a pretty pig, isn't he?
- Very pretty.

- But do you think he's done?
- Only one way to find out.

Ahem. Oh.

Ew. A little overdone, I'd say.

Ladies, I am so sorry that
you don't like your meal.

But he just refused to
let me tenderize him first.

Look, we're starving.

Now there has to be
something that we can do.

- Let's ask the man himself, shall we?
- Good idea.

Tell us what you don't
like about yourself.

- Everything.
- How can you say that?

- Look at me.
- Look at me.

I'm on the wrong
side of 40. I got a...

fake tit from a
one-in-a-million cancer.

I can't lose the pounds like I
used to. My hair keeps falling out.

My entire livelihood has become
the Enron of surgical procedures.

And now, my closest friend...

my biggest supporter
is leaving me.

Oh, quit being so negative.
You sound like Sean.

When you show no fear,
you project confidence.

And your life will always have
the appearance of success.

And image is everything.

Is it not?

So...

what can you do for me then?

Have you thought
about injectables?

They really are the future.

This is bullshit.

I'll get Sean to do the surgery.

Thanks so much for doing this.

Are you kidding?

I've been waiting 20 years
to highlight all your flaws.

Why, do I have a lot?

Well, for starters, you're
pompous, self-centered...

and almost sociopathic in your complete
disregard for anyone besides yourself.

Have almost no talent
in the operating room.

But you've managed to make an
entire career riding on my coattails...

all the while insisting that
you're the one who is the real star.

For the longest time I
actually admired you...

for how easily life seemed
to bend to your will...

how women fell at your feet.

And then I grew to hate you for how
careless and single-minded you could be.

Now I just think it's sad.

Because for someone who's so
desperate to succeed and get recognition...

I see just how
lonely you really are.

And when I'm gone, you'll have no
one left in your life who cares for you.

And...

you will die alone.

Am I really this ugly?

Don't be upset.

Let your shortcomings
and your flaws fuel you.

Let them push you further than
you ever thought you could go.

When you stop striving for perfection,
you might as well be dead, buddy boy.

- I'm so sorry about what happened.
- Don't be.

I'm not dead.

I have so much silicone in
me I stayed afloat for days.

Don't worry about it. It's okay.

Come on. I've had
a really long day.

- I missed you so much.
- Prove it.

You couldn't save me, honey.

Nobody could.

Goodbye, Christian.

Don't worry, I'll
never leave you.

Who are you?

You don't see the
family resemblance?

Come, give your dad a hug.

Get out of my house.

You're not my father.
You're a monster.

You can try and deny
where you came from...

as much as you want.

But you'll always
be Daddy's little boy.

Are you trying to
rearrange my face?

Just like you're doing to your
own on the surgery table right now?

Ah... Stop fighting who you are.

My darkness is a part of you.

You have my DNA, Christian.

You have my DNA.

You'll have to admit, you did a
lot of heavy lifting on your own.

No, Sean, please.

Don't hurt me.

Oh, it'll be over
before you know it.

Did you know that getting a facelift
is the physiological equivalent...

of going through a
windshield at 60 miles an hour?

Please. Please, don't.

I'm begging you.

- I can bring him out now.
- We're done.

Turn that thing off.

Huh. Never let me give a patient
a hard time about the pain again.

Aah-ha-ha! Oh.

You know, under normal
circumstances, I'd rub it in.

But because you did
it for the business...

I'm gonna increase
your morphine regime...

and say, thank you.

What do you think?

Well, I thought you
looked good already.

You didn't do this because of a
lawsuit or took one for the team.

You did it because
you wanted a facelift.

I noticed it while I was
shaving a couple of months ago.

Nothing anybody would
see, but I do this for a living.

Everyone gets older, Christian.

You know, and you're
one of those lucky ones.

- You're only gonna get better looking.
- Hmm.

You know why I have
relationships that never last?

Or why I trade in my
car every six months?

- ADD? A complete lack of a soul?
- No.

I hate change.

Terrified by it.

I don't like it when things end.

I like to end them
myself, on my own terms.

- Keeps you from getting hurt, huh?
- Also keeps me alone.

I just can't accept
when things are over.

When things are perfect...

- you know...
- Life is not perfect.

Life is messy.

Sometimes life is very messy.

- Are we still talking about me?
- I am talking about life.

You know? And wanting
things to be perfect...

and getting disappointed
over and over and over...

because it's never gonna be.

And what happens?
You end up being alone.

Hmm. Depressing.

I slept with Daniella.

She's great, okay?

She's absolutely great. And
she's gorgeous, and she's funny...

- and gorgeous and, you
know, I think: - Mm-hm.

Okay, I've waited and
this is my reward, right?

We were making love and...

she's having this
orgasm that's just...

you know, and then she...

- She what?
- I can't even say it.

- Ejaculated?
- Like a fire hose.

- Are you serious? Ha-ha.
- I almost drowned. It's not funny.

- It's pretty funny.
- I mean, I told her.

I said it's okay. I don't mind
it. I think of it as a compliment.

- But the truth is...
- The truth is you're just like me.

You want life to
be easy and clean.

And that's a damn shame.

- Who is it?
- It's me, Liz.

Can I come in?

- I don't think so.
- Please.

Look...

I know I didn't call you
and it's only because...

- You were repulsed and disgusted.
- No.

- Shocked.
- Thanks.

Only because it was unexpected.

And it freaked me
out and I got scared.

It's not you.

I thought that women who
could, you know... You know...

- Squirt.
- Yeah, squirt.

I thought they only
existed in lesbian p*rn.

But you are so real.

And I don't wanna
give up on someone...

who I feel so connected to
because of my ignorance.

You are wonderful
and I am so sorry.

Hey, hon, who is it?

Um... It's Dr. Elizabeth
Cruz for McNamara/Troy.

She's a client of mine and we
discovered that we're neighbors so...

I told her if there was any samples
she wanted, she could just stop by.

This is my husband, Edward.

- Hi, nice to meet you, Dr. Cruz.
- Nice to meet you.

Whatever she's selling...

- you can't go wrong.
- Right.

- How about I walk you out?
- Sure.

- I'll be right back, sweetie.
- Okay. Sure.

Are you going back
to your husband?

I can't do it, Liz. I can't.

I can't be gay.

You are gay.

Maybe. But...

at least with him I'm normal.

I don't do that.

You're gonna miss
out on a lot of joy.

Being like that
doesn't bring me joy.

It's just not how I see
myself. It's just not...

It's not how I
want to see myself.

- I'm so sorry.
- Me too.

That's the kind of call you
like to get from your lawyer.

The Ayers didn't have
a case. The only thing

they had is balls
for trying to sue us.

Too bad. They could have gotten
a feather lift for half off instead.

I think you getting that
surgery helped our case.

So you're saying that
that inflated ego of mine...

could have helped
us for a change?

Just saying. You really put your
money where your mouth was.

- And I admire that.
- Good.

To our continued success.

- Cheers.
- Yes, cheers.

- You're not drinking? That's bad luck.
- No, I'm still recovering.

You know, I don't
wanna get all swelled up,

look like I came from
Jill Jacobson's office.

- Oh, yeah. That wouldn't be good.
- That would not be, yeah.

Hey, fellas, have you seen this?

Your surgery is one of the
featured videos on YouTube.

- You're kidding?
- Wow.

- It's already a quarter of a million hits.
- Look, it's over 300,000 now.

- See that. I told you it would be a hit.
- Yeah, look at that. Over 40,000 comments.

People are trying to get in contact.
There any way we get our number on this?

This is like free advertising.

I told you that lawsuit would be the
best thing to happen to this business.

Uh... You know...

I'm not sure that everybody else is
as enthused about this as you are.

"What a barbaric thing
to do to someone."

"Anyone think plastic surgery
makes sense anymore?"

"This is disgusting."
"Facelifts are so 2004."

Oh, come on. Can't be all
of them. Give me this thing.

Maybe I need to post a
follow-up now that I'm fully healed.

What do you guys think?