01x01 - Welcome to SUR

[bunniefuu]

[beth thornley's night light]

- ♪ no, oh, no,
we don't wait ♪

♪ just hold the rope,
I get what I take ♪

♪ you oughta, oughta know

- Can I get anybody a drink?

- ♪ 'cause I can't get enough

♪ gone, just gonna say it

♪ gonna say
you gotta play it ♪

♪ gone light,
night night ♪

- Ken and I have
two restaurants in california.

Hey.
- Hi. How are you?

- Villa blanca's
where you take your wife,

And sur's where you take
your mistress.

Hello.
- How are you?

- Good. How are you?
How is everything?

- Good.
Bon appetithuh?

Sur's eclectic.
It's the lighting.

It's the ambience and the people
that work here.

- I think you should take
another button down.

- Dude, it's Monday.
Easy.

Thursday or Friday,
it gets so down.

Like, whoa, jax's shirt
is buttoned halfway down.

It must be--
it's Thursday already.

- Hey-oh!
- Some of these kids,

They're a little crazy,

And I have to tame them.

That was for you?
- Yeah.

- Why?
- 'cause I'm thirsty.

- No. No, not now.
Stop it.

Stassi, put it down.

Go to work.

I feel like I'm running
a kindergarten here.

I look for a really different
energy in the people

That work here,
and that's what makes them

A great server at sur.

It's not necessarily
the best table-waiting skills.

- I need limes.

- You want limes
for your chardonnay?

- It's the characters
all put together.

That is what makes sur unique.

- ♪ you know
that it's our time ♪

♪ these are the best days
of our lives ♪

♪ just raise your glasses high

♪ this one's for you tonight

- Hi, guys.
How are you guys doing?

My name's stassi.
Can I get y'all some drinks?

Working at sur is different

From working
at any other restaurant.

The servers all want to be
models, actors,

Writers, singers.

The servers
at other hollywood restaurants

Just want to be
waiters at sur.

- Well, enjoy the cocktails.

Let me know if you want to do
a round of sh*ts or something

To add to it.

- People always comment

On the waitstaff,

And it's true,
we're all really good-looking.

Sorry.

- Hello.

How's everyone doing tonight?

I'm scheana. Can I get you
something to drink?

sh*t of brandy?

I'm the new girl at sur,

And I just want to fit in.

I don't want to have enemies.

I just want to start off
on the right foot.

- Kelly, what table is that?

- Everyone knows I dated
a married guy.

I'm known as "the other woman."
lucky me.

- Oh, you're the girl
that had sex with my husband.

- Brandi?

I had no idea
brandi was a part

Of lisa's life whatsoever.

It sucks
coming to a new place

Knowing you don't have
the best reputation.

- Did you tell them
the specials?

- No, I just got
their drink order.

- You know, it would have been
really convenient

If you actually just did it.

Scheana said she started dating
this guy eddie

And had no idea
that he had a wife or family,

But then I find out
they dated for two years.

He's a famous actor.

We all got google.

- Stassi.
Stassi. Anybody?

- And I just lost all respect
for her.

- Scheana.

- It's a little sweet.

- It's supposed to be.

Especially since I made it.
- [giggles]

- I got it.
It's my table.

- And I took
their drink order.

- And then you stopped
right after.

Scheana is just so below me
in terms of class.

I went
to an all-girls private school

In new orleans,

And she's not the type
of person

I would ever want
to surround myself with.

- Gotta love her, right?

- Of course.

Stassi and I have been dating
for about two years.

I've never had a girlfriend
like her before.

She's a tough cookie.

She's extremely intelligent.

I think maybe
that's why I love her so much.

We have such a heated passion.

We'll fight it out,
and then we'll usually...

Take it to the bedroom.

- Ooh!
- That's so cool!

- [exclaims]
okay.

- Whoo!

- Tom,
mr. Sandoval,

You're getting saucy.

Sexiest person at sur
is my boyfriend tom.

Hands down, he's
the hottest bartender in l.A.

- You know how many calories
are in a sprite?

You have a sh**t tomorrow,
bro.

- You're gonna be fat tomorrow.

- There's always time
for a kiss.

Sur is a bit
of a merry-go-round

When it comes
to relationships.

I used to date stassi,

Who's now with jax,

Who used to live with tom,

Who is now dating kristen,

Who's best friends
with stassi and katie.

Oh, and katie and I
also hooked up.

But now she's dating
tom schwartz,

Who used to live
with tom sandoval

And kristen.

Yeah, it's a little crazy.

- Wait, how come mine's
all still in the sh*t glass?

- Gulp it at the same time.

- Katie just chugged a glass
of sprite.

- It's very difficult
when you have

A restaurant like this,
and it's full

Of young, attractive people.

If I fired somebody
every time they slept

With another member
of the staff,

I'd have no employees.

- That looks ready
for a white wine spritzer.

- White wine spritzer.
Got it.

What's going on next door?

Do you know
what's going on next door?

- I don't know
what's going on at all.

It's a bunch of british people.

- British people
who don't tip.

- [giggles]

- Um, I need
a pinot grigio.

- Okay.

- You doing okay?
- Yes, thank you.

- Do you need something?
- No, I'm good.

Thank you.
Have a good night.

- Good.

Scheana's a man-stealer.

When I found out
that she's going

To be working at sur,

I was pissed.

She's a cheater
and a liar.

I don't want her here.

- Thanks for the drink.

- You're welcome.

- "oh, thanks for the drink."

Really?
- What's wrong with you?

She's new here.

I'm just making her feel
welcome.

- So it's your job

To make everyone feel welcome?

- I'm nice to everybody
that works here.

- Really? The girl
that I don't get along with?

- I didn't know
you didn't get along with her.

- You don't know
that we don't get along?

- Stassi,
how would I describe her?

As a kind of jacked-up,
overzealous, cheeky little minx.

- We live together,
and we're together 24/7,

And you know everything,
and I've told you everything.

- There's seven women
that work here.

- And you're actually
going to pretend

Like you don't know what
I'm talking about right now.

- There's seven girls
that work here.

- That's actually infuriating
that you're going to pretend

That you have no idea
what I'm talking about.

- I don't.

Trying not to fight with stassi
is virtually impossible.

She att*cks me
all the time.

What do I do?
What do you do?

I love her.
I don't know what to do.

- I really don't have anything
to say to you.

Like, honestly.
- Shocking.

- How is that shocking?

Normally I have
a [bleep] ton to say.

- That's why it's shocking.

- I made some money.
- A lot?

- [exclaims]

- From the same person?

- Nope.
- Hmm.

- At the moment,
I love working at sur,

But ultimately

I want to have
my own record label

And not have
to sling food and drinks

To pay my rent.

- So your show's--
your show's on Wednesday?

- Yeah.
- What time do you guys go on?

- 10:00.

I do want to be famous.

I don't know if I want
michael jackson-type fame,

But I definitely would love
to be famous.

- I know what you did
on that party alone.

What'd you do, 300?

- Almost.


- Yeah.
- They bought a lot of stuff,

But it was crazy.

- I know.
When I saw what that party

Tipped you, it makes up
for what the frenchies

Did not tip me.
- Yeah.

- How was it tonight?
Come on.

Let's all sit down here,
'cause I've got to go.

Ah, you're right here.

Come on, partner.

Sit here.
Back me up.

Okay, so let's have a look.

Who made the most tips tonight?

Scheana.
Are you getting settled in here?

I think with scheana

It turned out
to be a good decision

To move her over to sur
from villa blanca.

But they're very clique-y here,

And they're not open
to letting newcomers in.

Kristen, you were
the second-best server tonight.

That's why you're still here.

[laughter]

- One of many reasons.
- Yeah, or the only reason.

Guillermo,
have you got anything to say?

- We are trying
to go for the direction

To make some changes
for good.

So, in the specials, we really
need to know how to sell.

- The best way to sell food
is talk about it like it's sex.

And people are like...

They're like, "what?"

No, it is.
If you're like,

"oh, my gosh,
it's mouthwatering.

It's so tasty.
Like, it's so tender and..."

You know,
and then they're like, "okay."

- I feel that some of you here
are a little kind of lazy

And piggybacking
on the strong servers.

I'm not looking
at anybody in particular.

Stassi.
[laughter]

- My mom's always told me

That I'm a descendant
of a swedish princess.

So I try and act like one.

- I'm just telling you
how it is, okay?

Some of you
that have been here years...

[laughter]
- lisa.

- Should know every single thing
on the menu.

- I do, and I've eaten
everything,

I know the food
like the back of my hand.

- You don't know the back
of your hand, then, clearly.

I'm not sure if being beautiful
goes hand in hand

With being a pain in the ass,

But it sure as hell
looks like it.

And you're not
as kind of up to speed

On some of the wines either.

You think we're making money
on our pasta?

We're not, you know.

It's all the drink
and the alcohol.

- We should do
a wine tasting then.

- No, you are definitely not--
[laughter]

- We're more responsible at
villa blanca with our drinking.

- If anybody has an opinion,
it's really time to voice it,

Because in villa blanca
everybody works

On their own section,
and they earn their own money.

And here we pool it.

Now, what do you think?

- Honestly, I mean,
the way it is at villa blanca,

We don't pool tips.

We make good money.
We make our own money.

We work for ourselves.

I make $300, I tip out $300,
I walk with what I make.

- But it really depends
on the weather here

And the crowd.
- Okay, I get that.

- Whenever a beautiful new girl
starts working at sur,

All the guys get excited,
and all the girls

Get pissed off.

I'm not expecting
to come in here,

Just because I have the best
sections at villa blanca

And have the best sections here.

Like, I'm still new here.

So I just think

It's a better system overall.

This is the first time
that this issue

Has ever come up.

I don't like
when someone new comes in

And tries to start telling us
how to do things.

This isn't villa blanca.
It's sur.

- I just think
that there's certain people

That pull more weight
than others,

And it's not fair
for some people

To make $400 or $500 in a night
and some people

To make $120, and then everyone
walks with the same amount.

- There is some lazy servers
here.

Of course.
I'm not siding with her.

- So how is that fair
to the ones that work hard?

- We as a whole
are so much closer

And so much more
of a tight-knit kind of group

Than you guys are
at villa blanca

Because we help each other out.

Somebody needs help,
we help them.

- Same thing there.
- We go and do it.

- You don't know
how we work there.

- But it's a different level

Of helping each other out,

Because we are sharing money.

- Stassi's being a bit
of a bully

And giving her a hard time.
But then again,

Some people need
to be put in their place.

- I don't think it's fair,

And I just--I'm not used
to that system,

And I don't like it.

- That's what we're
talking about.

There's a few of you here
that are piggybacking

On the strong servers.

You're not gonna earn
any money

Standing in the bathroom
smoking.

- Stassi at sur
is me at villa blanca.

Queen bee.
Runs it.

Leader.

However, I'm now
at the bottom of the totem pole.

I'm not trying to, like,
come in here new

And, like,
switch everything.

I'm just saying
it's an option.

- Well, it's not a good idea.

- I mean,
it was just a suggestion.

- Well, it's not a good one.
- Okay.

- I hate to admit
that we're pretty judgmental,

But I'm not gonna let
some random girl walk in,

Who throws
her little sur dress on.

Like, dude,
you're a newbie.

We're too tight-knit
to have someone new come in

After we've all been there
together.

It sucks being the new girl.

- There's so much drama
in this restaurant.

I don't know
if that would be a good idea.

- The atmosphere here
is very important,

That we keep
that family atmosphere.

Let's keep it that way.

- I don't want anybody
in my circle

That's a husband-stealing,
fame-whoring piece of [bleep].

- ♪ what are we

♪ what are we doing?

♪ we're young and reckless

♪ so let's prove it

- I need a drink asap.

- Waitress. Can I get a drink?
- Yeah.

- Oh, sorry about that.
- It's been a long day.

- What can I get you?

- Do you have any don julio?
- Yes, we do.

- Okay, that's good.
- And for you?

- I will do that as well.
- On the rocks for me.

- Two sh*ts, rocks.

Okay.

- Stassi and I fought--I know
this is like a broken record.

I feel like it's
all I talk about lately,

But did you guys argue a lot

About the most petty, dumb crap?
- Yes.

- You don't understand.
It got to a point

Where, like, every time
she would call,

I'd look at the phone
and literally be like,

"oh, what's she gonna complain
about today?"

- Yeah.
- Stassi, we went out

For about four months.

And then two months into it,
I was regretting it.

'cause she's a little hard
to deal with.

Let's face it.
She is a little nuts.

She's crazy.

And don't yell.
I just want to sleep."

Maybe--maybe-- she's like,
"well, I never used to fight..."

I find that hard to believe.

- When we broke up,

I was so happy being free.

That was years ago.
- Yeah?

It's like, I love you,
but I hate you.

I love you,
but I hate you.

Like, it's like, I just
keep going back for more.

And it's like, we're men.
That's how we're trained.

What else are we gonna do?

- Oh, I know.
I hear you.

- Another round, guys?
- Ohh ho ho ho ho!

- Come on.
- You're k*lling me

With this don julio.
- Do it.

- Don j.
Where are you from?

- Bear with me.
Florida.

- What part?
- Clearwater.

Tampa.
- Yes. Me too.

- Nice.
- Tarpon springs.

- Yeah, east lake high school.
- Oh, my god.

- Uh-oh.

I'm jax, by the way.
- Wow.

Jax. Courtney.
- Yeah.

So you moved all the way
from tarpon to here, huh?

- Yeah.
- To pursue...

- Massage therapy.
[laughter]

- Massage therapy.
- So you know

All the different muscles
in the back?

- Almost.
- Guys, I'm gonna need

A massage...

- I'm working late. Sorry.
- Really?

Ouch.
- Yeah. I know, actually.

- So don julio?

- I'm gonna mix it up
this time.

- You order like
a true bartender, don't you?

- Why?
- Do you bartend?

- Yes, I do.
- Okay.

- Over at sur, actually.
- I've heard of it.

I've not been there.
- You've never been there?

- You need to come in.
We'll buy you a drink.

- Is that the gay club or...

- What?
- No. No.

It's west hollywood.
I'm new.

- Just because
it's in west hollywood...

Beautiful people there
and we're in west hollywood

Doesn't mean
it's a gay bar.

- Let me know
if you guys need any food

Or another drink or whatever.
- Absolutely.

- Cool.

[laughter]

- If I was a gay man,
I would date don julio.

[laughter]

- Studio time.

- Yeah.
- Another session or two,

And should be good to go.
- We'll be all set.

Yeah, I know.
I can't wait to hear it.

- I know.

I grew up
in azusa, california,

Which is about 30 miles
east of hollywood.

And just ever since I was little
I always saw myself

Moving out here
and being famous

And just making a name
for myself.

- Welcome back.
- Thank you.

How's it coming out so far?

- It sounds dope.
- Yeah?

- It sounds britney-gaga.

It sounds hot, you know.
- Awesome.

- It sounds
like you're a pop star.

- Sweet.
- So, if you're ready to rock,

Let's get you in there
and do your thing.

- Let's do it.

I never planned
on being a singer,

Never had vocal training,
played an instrument,

But this record producer

Was looking
for a brunette britney type

And asked me
if I wanted to cut a demo,

So I was like,
"hmm. Why not?"

- So we need basically
sex sounds.

- Some like britney oohs
and aahs?

- Yes, just a little edgier
than that, but yes.

'cause you're not britney.
You're better than that.

- Thank you.
- So you down?

- Yeah.
- Up for it?

All right. Let's get it.
- Let's do it. All right.

I get that I look like
britney spears all the time.

When I was in high school,
I had blonde hair

And sometimes I would get
mistaken for her.

I'd have, like, kids come up
to me in restaurants

And be like, "oh, britney,
can I have your autograph?"

So I kind of got
her autograph down

And signed some stuff.

- Do you know how to make her
do that naughty giggle?

- I do.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- How many times

Have you done that?

- Uhh...
Let's just say a lot.

- Okay, cool.
Both: Yeah.

- Let's see what you got.

We are all ready for this.

- ♪ can you freak, bitch?

[laughs]

♪

[sighs]

♪

- Oh, you know that one,
don't you?

Ooh.

- That's what I like.

I don't know if people
are gonna take me seriously

As a singer,
but being a pop star

Is about being a performer,
not a singer.

And I'm a performer.

I put on a great show.

♪

That's what I like.
- I heard. Yeah.

- [giggles]

- Let's do one last one.

Less phone sex operator,
more p*rn star.

- All right.

♪ can you freak, bitch?

[sighs]

Ooh.
- Much better.

Yeah...

[moaning]

Mm.
[giggles]

Can we do that again?

- [vocalizing]

- So you're going the same time
we do, right-ish?

- Yeah.
- At 7:00. Or 7:30 or something?

- At 7:30.
- Okay, so we're probably

Gonna be there late,
but...

If we're not,
like, if for some reason

It gets to be
an early night,

Scheana and...
- Go [bleep] yourself.

- They're going to dinner
at bungalow tonight.

- Who's going?
Scheana, tom, and who?

- Shay and--shay,
scheana's boyfriend.

What time does jax get done?

- My boyfriend's
not going to dinner

With scheana
and her boyfriend.

- What, with scheana
and her boyfriend?

- Absolutely not.
I don't like her.

I'm sorry.
- You don't know her.

- Okay, that's fair enough.
I don't.

- I know that you don't like
the decisions that she has made.

- It's fine if you're like,
"this is just not someone

I want to be friends with."

- I don't want anybody
in my circle

That's a husband-stealing,
fame-whoring piece of [bleep].

Sorry. I don't.
- Stop it. Come on.

- Really, like,
wrecking a family.

- I know. I know.
- Okay.

What if it was your husband
and, like, you had two kids?

Really?
And then it was scheana.

And you're like,
"oh, she's changed."

Really?
- Oh, well,

If it was my husband--
- but she's young, stas.

People grow up.
People change.

Like, people do dumb things
when they're young.

- And the second
that her and shay break up,

She's gonna go right back
to the type of thing

That she was doing before.
- How do you know?

- Please.
- Jax doesn't like her either?

- Jax doesn't like
who I say he doesn't like.

[laughter]
- touche.

- [speaks indistinctly]
- yeah.

So it was awkward.

Like, it wasn't fun.
- Hey, ladies.

- Oh.
- How are you?

- Speak of the devil.
- I'm off to work.

Stassi's handbags aren't
gonna pay for themselves.

[laughter]

- Me and jax just kind of bring
everyone together.

You know,
the boys are drawn to him,

And then the girls
are drawn to me.

So we kind of just lead
the pack.

- I have to be there at 4:30.
- What are you doing?

- Oh, I'm doing
a bmw commercial today.

- Oh, is that all?
- Suck it.

- Stassi and I live together,

We work together,
and we play together.

We honestly moved in together
on our third date.

Whoops.

I gotta go.
Love you.

- Love you too.
- Bye, girls.

- Love you.
[laughter]

- Bye.
- I'm sure I'll be calling

You guys later.

- And you're not going.
- It's scheana and shay.

- Unless I magically
get off of work

And I can go with you,

It's not gonna happen.

- I believe
stassi is a jealous girlfriend.

Her last two boyfriends
cheated on her.

Even if I didn't do anything,

I'm still getting the heat

From her past.

- Have fun at your sh**t.
Both: Bye.

- She said to him, "you need
to get your [bleep] sucked."

Paolo was like,
"what should I do at this time?"

- Go and get it sucked
would be the best idea.

- Hello.
- Hey. How are you?

- How are you?
- Good. Very relaxed.

- Yeah, you look
very relaxed.

- Yeah.
- Okay, well, we got to work

On this together.

Let me just put
the gigster down.

Hey, francis.

You finding your way
around the kitchen?

- I am.

It's a beautiful kitchen.

- So what I was thinking is,
because the sushi restaurant

Closed down next door,

So I thought, well, why
don't we do our sur lounge menu

And incorporate sushi?

- That's a great idea.

- I like the idea
of doing fusion,

So some sushi
and some asian specialties.

- Yeah. What's this?
This is the--

- So these
are the little salmon sashimi.

- Crispy onions or not?

- It is.
Crispy shallots, though.

- Oh, really.
- Just a little bit milder

In flavor.
- Right. Good?

- Delicious.

- Who's gonna try first?

- We'll eat it all outside
maybe.

- Yeah, that's a great idea.

I mean, customers want sushi.

- Yeah, he's genius at this.

I met guillermo,
and he just kind of started

This restaurant,

And we struck a deal.

I control the design

And the aesthetics
of the restaurant.

Guillermo's more on the floor.

Okay, so who wants
one glass of wine?

I never drink more
than one glass of wine a day.

- Wow.
- Ahh!

[laughter]

- Almost.

Have you got a straw?

Isn't that beautiful?
Isn't that unbelievable?

Ken.

You know, guillermo,
seriously I'm not happy

About the way some of the staff
are behaving.

I know a lot of them mess about.
I'm not an idiot.

But, you know, none of them
want to do what they do.

It's all a stopgap.
They're not dedicated to it.

It's not their craft.

A lot of them don't take it
that seriously.

I mean, we've seen it,
you know.

I do understand

That sometimes
they don't give a damn,

And it's my job
to make them give a damn.

So paolo say, "no,
we cannot serve you drink."

"what do you mean?
I'm gonna pay for that."

And paolo,
he's the manager.

She said to him,
"you know what,

You need to get
your [bleep] sucked."

- That's what she said,
to paolo?

- Yeah, "that's what you need,
'cause you are a [bleep]."

Paolo was like,
"what should I do at this time?"

- Go and get it sucked
would be the best solution.

- I mean, you know, so...
[laughter]

The point is--
- no, I know.

- He started getting excited
about it.

- What do you mean, excited?
Do you mean upset excited?

Not excited about getting
his [bleep] sucked.

I care probably
a little bit too much

About stassi, but she's also
my daughter's friend.

I feel a certain allegiance
to her.

I've been so lenient
with her

Because she worked with
pandora.

They became
very good friends,

And she also writes
on our website,

Divine addiction.

- No, but she's good.

When she doesn't drink,
she's great.

- But she should never drink.

My staff, they're young,
and they're passionate

About their lives,
and sometimes they make

Foolish choices.

I've been there.

I remember those days.

Did I eat
a crab roll already?

- No, you had the crab roll.
- I did?

I love it.

I just had some of that.

- But with the shallots?
- That's fantastic.

Yeah.
- I think it's a great idea

Of yours,
I really do.

- Hey, listen, if I hadn't had
any of my great ideas,

You wouldn't be sitting here,

You wouldn't be sitting here,
and you, I don't know.

You'd probably be running
around london

With your trousers
around your ankles.

[laughter]

- She may be right.

- Ken says that sounds
like a great idea.

- Kristen, I'm gonna jump
in the shower.

Are you good?
- We're gonna be late for work.

You should probably
go get ready.

- We're gonna be late
to work together, babe.

- Yeah, I'm not getting cute
today, though.

Tom and I have been together
for four years.

We've been sleeping together
for five.

- Do you need the bathroom?
- No.

- ♪ money, money

♪ don't you need it?

♪ social status

- Babe, you want me to leave
the flatiron on when I'm done?

- No.

Tom absolutely takes
longer than me to get ready

In front of a mirror.

His hair products are his life.

His hair spray,
his wax, his flatiron.

- This is the best gift
you ever got me, by the way.

- I really need to wash
my work dress.

This is gross.

Okay, I'm gonna change
really fast.

- ♪ just a stereotype

♪ money, money

♪ don't you need it

♪ social status
- where's the hairspray?

- Did you look
all over the bathroom?

If I come in here and it's
in there, I'll k*ll you.

- I hope you do find it.

Our friends
back in the midwest,

They're set in their careers
with their house

And their white picket fence.

And, you know, for us,
we're just--

We're still working
toward all of that.

So we both work at sur.

But what we really want to do
is be working actors.

Why don't you just use mine?

- Your hairspray sucks, babe.

I need more strength
than that.

- Just use the other hairspray
or use my dry shampoo.

- This hairspray sucks, babe.

The other one, it sucks.
- Tom, it's hairspray.

I promise you'll be okay.

- No, it sucks, babe.

- I promise
it's not the end of the world.

"touchable and stylable"
is garbage.

I need something
with some hold, babe.

- Stop being such a girl.

- In five years with kristen,

I would assume
we'd probably be married

And maybe have one or two kids.

Yeah, this stuff's pointless.

[sighs]
I'm over it.

- I think your hair looks
just fabulous.

- I think it sucks actually.

- Okay, your hair sucks.
- Thanks.

- In five years I want to be
known for the work that I do.

Can you please unplug
the flatiron

So you don't burn
the house down?

If fame comes along with it,
that would be really cool.

- I feel like ricky martin
right now.

- You actually look like--
- [bleep] sucks.

- You look like ricky martin.

- ♪ ohh, everyone wants

♪ to be famous,
I'm gonna be famous ♪

- ♪ your love got me high

♪ high, high

♪ I just want to ride

- Hi.
- Hey, scheana marie.

- How are you?
- Hello, gorgeous.

- Fantastic.

Since we both started working
at villa blanca.

She is an amazing singer.

So, since I've been getting
into music recently,

We've been hanging out a lot.

- It sounds like you guys
haven't been here before?

- No. First time.
- Totally fine.

Let me explain what we do.

We manufacture elixirs

That make you feel
really great.

- I went to one before
where they could look

At, like, your tongue
and tell you

So much about yourself.

- You want
to stick out your tongue?

- I'm nervous.
I'm nervous.

- You know--
wow, you're very talented.

I can tell that.
[laughter]

You know, you actually look
rather healthy.

You have, like, anything
you're gonna do later today?

- I have a big callback,
actually.

- Do you feel like you need
to be calm and focused,

Or do you need, like, energy?

- I think a little boost.

- You need a little boost.
- Yeah.

- Okay.
I'm gonna make your drinks.

Relax.
I'll take good care of you.

Okay?
- What's your callback for?

- Power rangerspink ranger.
- Oh, my gosh.

- Would you have to wear,
like, those--wear helmets?

- Yeah, it's, like, the whole,
like, the mask

Wearing the mask
when you're fighting.

Obviously I don't want
to work in a restaurant

For the rest of my life.

My goal is to be

A successful actress
or pop singer.

And I'll know I've made it

When the paparazzi
starts taking my picture.

- Okay, ladies,
so these are for you.

- Thank you.
Cheers.

- Do you feel anything?

- I feel enlightened.

[laughter]

Did natalie call you
about picking up more shifts?

- Yeah.
One of the things I had vowed

To myself was I would never
learn another restaurant menu.

Like, I have to become famous...
- That's what I'm worried about.

- And do what I'm supposed
to be doing.

I'm over it.
- Yeah. I know.

I feel like kristen,
katie, and stassi

Hate me sometimes.

I just--I would be more
comfortable working with you.

But...
- Ooh, if you're there

By yourself...
- I know. I'm scared.

- They're gonna eat you
alive, girl.

- What are these girls
gonna do to me?

Stassi, kristen, and katie

Are like the mean girls,

And I'm like,
"I'm just trying

To be your guys's friend."

Like, give me a break.

- Everyone is so mean
to the new people.

Whenever I'm there,

I feel like somebody's shoving
somebody in the doorway.

- Somebody's crying
in the bathroom.

Someone crying in the bathroom.
- Always.

Like, we're on our period 24/7

Working at sur.

[laughter]

- ♪ I'm gonna get you,
I'm gonna get you ♪

♪ I'm gonna find you,
I'm gonna get you ♪

- Hi.

- Your twin.

- She chose my color dress.

- Yeah, she definitely went,

"I want the same dress
stassi has."

- I used to have that dress,

But then I stopped wearing it,
because you picked that color.

- Every single person
at sur knows

That the gray/blue dress
is my color dress.

You just don't go there.

- You're being a baby.

- Whatever.

- We're slammed. We have a table
of 25 people coming in at 7:30.

- Okay, not a problem.

Do you have a preference of the
patio or inside the restaurant?

- ♪ ain't got no limits

♪ we're living it up

♪ yeah

- I need hot sauce.

Where is it?

Of all of the people
at sur,

I accidentally become enemies

With the biggest bitch.

- I'm tired.
- Me too.

Worst time of the day.

- Hey, so my tables are done.

What side work or--
what do I need to do?

- You need to polish all
the glasses in the main room

And then make sure
the coffee bar is cleaned.

- Thank you, katie.
Anything else?

- Um, no, I mean,
I'm not--

- I thought you were the closer.
That's why I was asking you.

- I'm not the manager.

- Okay.

- She's gonna be like,

"the bitch just made me

Polish glasses
and look like a moron."

- When new people come in,
if I don't like them,

I try and make them quit.

Seriously.

I have made girls quit

By just being mean to them

Because I thought
they were [bleep].

- Oh, my god.

[giggles]

- Scheana?
- Yeah?

- Who do you work for?

- You.

- Who told you
to polish glasses?

- Stassi.

- Right.

Stassi has a certain kind

Of power over these staff.

I don't understand it,
because, if there was

One person in the bloody
universe that I wouldn't follow,

It would be stassi.

[laughter]

- So scheana's doing
a really good job

Of stassi's side work.

- I know.

- I would be so pissed

- Just because you're new,
you know what,

If you don't stand up to her,

She's gonna have you
running around

Doing her dirty work.

- Like, you don't understand,

'cause, I mean,
you own the place.

But I work here.

I would rather just polish
these glasses

Than be miserable
and have them, like...

- No, no, you've got to
stand up to them.

I'm telling you,
that's not your job.

- First of all, I know you have,
like, your issues with me,

But I refuse
to be your little bitch here.

- Just because you're new,
you know what,

If you don't stand up to her,

She'll have you running around
doing her dirty work.

- Like, you don't understand
because, I mean,

You own the place,
but I work here.

I would rather
just polish these glasses

Than be miserable
and have them, like...

- No, no, you've got
to stand up to them.

I'm telling you,
that's not your job.

I can see clearly
what's going on here,

Because the claws
are out for her.

But I think this is fueled
by stassi's insecurity

About her relationship
with jax.

- [sighs]
okay.

Where's stassi?

- She's outside.

- Okay, I need
to talk to you.

First of all, I know you have,
like, your issues with me,

But I refuse
to be your little bitch here.

- Well, we haven't
really got along, so...

- What is it that's, like,
bothering you about me?

- That night
when you went up to brandi,

You had told me, "I had no idea
who that guy was.

"I didn't know he had a family.

I didn't know
any of that kind of stuff."

And then come to find out,
oh, no,

Scheana knew the whole time,

And she sold it
to the magazines.

- Okay, I never sold a story.

- That's
what every single person

In the restaurant is saying.

- I mean, people can say that.

- I did not.
I swear to god.

A couple months ago,
there was a big party

At sur and I had
a run-in with brandi.

- No, no, I don't want you
to feel--

- I'm not.
I don't want to give her

Any more attention.
Like, I just got--

- Stassi is the person
standing right next to me,

And I'm just like,
"oh, I need a friend."

And then she was like,
"what?

"you dated that guy

"who left her
for leann rimes?

I can't believe
you're that kind of person."

I had no idea
when I met him.

I didn't know
his last name.

- Well, I'm sure when you
met him you didn't know,

But, after two years
of having sex with somebody--

- No, it wasn't--
- dude, I google someone

When I have a first date
with them.

- I was already falling
for this guy.

He told me he was separated
from his wife,

- Scheana, if you say that you
were on and off with him

For two years,
you know.

- They were--
- you can google a famous actor.

- I just don't see how that,
like, affects your life.

- I don't like
what you've done,

And someone came up to me
and goes,

"did you see scheana
hitting on jax?"

You think I'm gonna, like, start
hitting on your boyfriend--

I have been cheated on.
- That's your problem

With your boyfriend
in your relationship.

- No, I have been cheated on--

- You obviously have
trust issues--

- Yes, I do have trust issues.

I have been cheated on
by all my past boyfriends.

A girl like you,
because I have never once--

- Like me?
I have a boyfriend.

I am
in a very happy relationship.

Why would I just be like,
"oh, hey, nice to meet you.

"by the way,
I dated a married guy.

Why would that ever come up
in conversation?

Does it affect her life?

No.

Yeah, I met a guy
and fell for him,

And he broke
my heart, okay?

[bleep] happens,
but I just don't see

Why this is, like,
affecting us.

- And there's nothing
that she could say

That would make me want
to be her friend.

I'm not gonna let
a man-stealer

Around my boyfriend or anyone
that I care about.

- So, whatever,
that's all I have to say.

- ♪ 13 words you said
to me ♪

♪ then I knew

♪ those 13 words
would have me ♪

♪ falling for you

♪ my heart finally starts
to b*at ♪

♪ and then
the next three years ♪

- What's up, guys?
- What's up, man?

- Hey, man.
- What are you doing here?

- What's going on?
- Chilling, man.

- I need a drink.
- I need something strong.

Heard you jammed out
with tina the other night.

- Yeah, dude.
It went really well.

Is she cool with you guys,
like, jamming out?

- Yeah, of course, dude.

You must be getting me confused
with your girlfriend.

- I know. I have it
a lot worse than you guys.

- Seriously.
- I have it a lot worse.

I can't walk into a place--
I walk in,

And I look up...
- "jax, you checking her out?"

- "it's just so rude."
- are you making eyes?

She just holds him
right by the collar.

And she just walks him.
- No more leash.

- You lost that leash
a long time ago.

I'm up there with fights
with you right now.

We're fighting
left and right.

- This is the thing
about stassi--

As confident and as
good-looking as she is,

She has a long history
of being jealous

For no reason.
It gets ridiculous at times.

- Baba?
- What's up, girl?

- Baba!
- Do you hear this--

Do you hear this talk?
- Hey!

- Are you cut?

Me too.
Whoo-hoo, baby.

I'm cut.
Mwah.

- Hey.
- Whoa.

- Yay.
Are you cut too?

- Yes.
- Hey, baby.

- None of us
are from l.A.

It's kind of cool 'cause we're
one kind of big family.

Katie, stassi,
and I specifically

Are best friends.

And our boyfriends all happen
to be best friends as well.

- I had a magnificent
conversation with scheana.

- I was out back,
she came out,

And she was crying,
like, she was like...

- She was upset.

I talked to her
for a really long time,

And she started [bleep] crying.

But I don't care.
All I wanted was for scheana

To just be honest with me.

- When somebody
starts working here,

They don't have to reveal
their, like, resume

Of all the bad stuff
that they've done in their past.

- But then don't lie
to me about it.

So what's the point of lying?

If it comes out
in the open,

If you go up to the woman
that you [bleep] her husband,

Then you either got
to own up to it

Or make a decision.

- You can't just approach her
and say that.

- We don't like her anyway.

- I would.

- If at any time
you're trying to tell stassi

That she's wrong
about something,

Stassi's never wrong
about anything ever.

She's never made a mistake
in her life.

- I talked to her about it,

And it's over.

- [growls]

- I'm gonna s*ab everyone
in this room right now.

I'm just trying to tell
you guys what happened.

Don't be mean.

- "it was your choice to sleep
on the couch last night."

Really?
- It was.

- Because I'm gonna get
into bed with the devil?

No, I'm not.
- Easy.

- I am the devil,
and don't you forget it.

- Tom, you know your girlfriend
works on saturdays, right?

- No one over size two
can pull off

A sur uniform.

- It's basically
just a nothing piece of fabric

That is somehow appropriate
to wear in a restaurant.

You have boobs flopping
as you're serving food.

- Your tape's showing.

- It takes me about 25 minutes
every day

That I wear it to tape myself
into it to make sure

I'm not just falling out
all over the place.

- I feel really bad for you
that you have a tiny waist,

Huge boobs,
and a tiny butt.

I feel so bad for you.
- Yeah.

- Honestly,
most of the girls at sur

I don't even think own bras.

- No, they do not
wear bras under there.

- The first time I ever see it,

I'm like, "what do I wear
under it?"

And he goes...

I'm like, okay.

- I've actually encouraged them

To wear, you know,
big knickers,

'cause, you know,
sometimes I'm like,

"oh, my god."

- Some of those tables
are really small.

- Okay, so bend at the knees,
girlfriend.

Bend at the knees.
- Classy.

- ♪ all the girlfriends

♪ meet their boyfriends

- Hola.
- Hi.

- Hey.
- How's it going, man?

- You're late. That's cool.
Took you a long time

To figure out a t-shirt?
- Were you worried?

Were you worried?
- I was worried.

- I know.
- Can I also just have

A mimosa too?

Don't judge me.
- Not at all.

- Stassi hasn't even finished
this one yet,

She's already on her next one.
- I know.

- She's thinking
about her third one

As the second one's coming.

- I make it home,
and I take care of my dog,

So I can do what I want.

Boo-yah.

- I would take care
of the dog

If you wouldn't steal it
and take it

To bed with you every time.

- Wait, where do you sleep?
- I sleep on the couch.

That's my new place.
- When jax and I fight,

He storms off,
and I don't know where he goes.

Real mature.

Why can't you just try and be

A good boyfriend
and then sleep at home?

Why can't that be your plan?
- I'm a great boyfriend.

- Boo-yah.
Winning.

Suck it.

I don't know
what that means.

Sometimes all I hear is this.

I hear this.

Talking, talking, talking.

- Really?
That's weird.

'cause that's all I hear
right now.

- And you go in circles.

Circles, circles,
talk, talk, talk, circles.

So I walk out.
Sometimes I need to cool down.

In five minutes.
I'm gonna go for a walk."

- You don't ever say that.

- Then you slam the door and go,

"if you come back,
I'll call the cops on you."

- No, I only said that once.
Once...

- In two years.
You are so full of [bleep].

- Jax and stassi's relationship
is [bleep] chaotic.

They both live in absolutes.

It's like never or forever
all the time,

So it's just--
it's a [bleep] show.

- And you're like,
"just sleep on the couch."

Then she's like,
"it was your choice

To sleep on the couch
last night."

- 'cause I'm gonna get into bed
with the devil?

Like, no I'm not.
- Easy.

- I am the devil,
and don't you forget it.

- ♪ you gotta get it right

♪ yeah

♪

- This season
on vanderpump rules...

I'm glad that this
is only playtime to you,

Because it's not playtime to me.

[cheers and applause]

♪ caffeine don't make
my heart race ♪

♪ like you do,
I feel it b*at ♪

♪ against my chest,
it might break through ♪

[cheers]

♪ don't be surprised

♪ if it flies
through the air ♪

♪ like a b*mb
with your name on it ♪

♪ it's got your name on it

♪ oh
- obvi.

- [chuckles]

- Princess stassi.

- [vocalizing]

- You're all sleeping together.
What am I gonna do?

Fire the whole company?

- I am being set up.

- She had sex
with my boyfriend.

- Oh, my god, dude.
What the [bleep]?

- Tom, don't talk.

- Where'd you sleep last night?

- You got caught with
your trousers down literally.

- Hello. All he wanted to do
was get in your pants.

- So? A lot of people
want to.

- I don't want
to be anywhere near you.

You're a disease
in this [bleep] place.

- I don't know what to do.
Like, who do I go with?

- You're my buddy.
I work with you, you [bleep].

- He's a piece of [bleep].

He got a girl pregnant
two months ago.

Wow!

- Best sex I've had
in a long time.

- Really?
- Like a long time.

- This is my business.

Everything's perfect,
and then I put

The [bleep] right in the middle
of it, and it screws it up.

- I can't sing it live,
so I'm [bleep].

- You guys claim to be
my best friends,

Yet you were the two that have
made me so g*dd*mn depressed

And won't believe me
about jax.

- [bleep] you, stassi.

- Do not [bleep] say,
"[bleep] you."

- Stassi, you are out of line!

You're such a flimsy p*ssy.
Stand up to that bitch!

- I'm not a ghetto bitch.
- You're wasted.

- Well, that sounds
like ghetto bitch.

- Let's do it.
Drive us to the hospital?

Let's do it.
Let's do it.

Let's do it.
- Well, guess what?

I'm gonna make it easy for you.

I'm f*ring you.
We're done.

- Be off.

- To see more
of vanderpump rules,