01x08 - Last Call

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Vanderpump Rules". Aired: January 7, 2013 – present.*
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Focuses on Lisa Vanderpump and the staff at her restaurants and bars: SUR Restaurant & Lounge, Pump Restaurant, and Tom Tom Restaurant & Bar, in West Hollywood, California.
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01x08 - Last Call

Post by bunniefuu »

.

- Previously on this season
of vanderpump rules...

- I got it.
It's my table.

- And I took
their drink order.

And then you stopped
right after.

- Everyone is so mean
to the new people.

- It's like we're on our period


- Scheana's a husband-stealing,
fame-whoring piece of [bleep].

- You've got these insecurities.
You think I'm going to like

- Yeah, of course I have
insecurities about that.

I've been cheated on.
- That's your problem.

- I deserve so much better.

- Well, at least you don't have
to deal with it anymore, right?

- Stassi's
the first to judge me.

Really, you just broke up
with your boyfriend and you're

[bleep] the bartender
that he works with?

- Like jax is a cheating, lying,
stealing piece of [bleep].

- Jax got a [bleep] girl
pregnant two months ago.

If you've known this for two
months, why didn't you tell her?

- God, I [bleep] hate
frank, man.

- How can you ever trust
somebody like that?

- All you want
to hear right now

Is that jax
is a piece of [bleep].

- Who are you two?
Who are you two right now?

- I am being set up.
I never cheated.

- Do not [bleep] say
[bleep].

- Stassi, you are
[bleep] out of line!

[indistinct arguing]

- You were my friend.

I'll break every [bleep] bone
in your face.

You wanna go, mother[bleep]?
You wanna go?

Let's go!
- I've had enough.

- I said that--
- I have had enough, frank.

I'm f*ring you.
- Jax has told me,

"I'm going to
go find one girl at sur

That's your friend
that I could [bleep]."

So he found the weakest link.
- Are you serious?

They're going to see us.

- Is this like a message
you're sending to stassi,

Having sex in bathrooms
with her?

- I'm not a ghetto bitch.

- You pulled her [bleep] hair,
stassi.

- That sounds like ghetto bitch.
- You are so fake,

And you're going to send me
text messages harassing me.

- Oh, I totally did.

- So don't talk to me about
being a good friend.

- Boom!

- That's bull[bleep].
- Brandi's going to be there.

- Okay, well, then,
I don't want to be here.

- You keep crying.
This is ridiculous.

Scheana, I cannot put you
on a table with brandi.

- I know.
I understand that.

- I want us all to be able
to have smalltalk.

I'm making an effort to make you
feel comfortable, kristen,

So why don't you have
the same decency to me?

- You should find
someone else to date,

Because I'm not going
to put up with that [bleep].

- Don't walk away from me
like that.

- "sorry I've been [bleep] you
every day without protection

"and been inside of you and told
you really intimate things

"every day,
but guess what.

"I don't have
enough respect for you

"to tell you
that I'm never going

To talk to you again."
[bleep] you.

- I'm amazing,
and I'm going to wait

To have
somebody appreciate that.

- I haven't stopped loving you
one minute, not one second,

And I'm not going to ever
be with anybody again

Until I get you back.

- ♪ you know
that it's our time ♪

♪ these are the best
days of our lives ♪

♪ just raise
your glasses high ♪

♪ this one's for you tonight

- Yeah, no.
- Oh, my gosh.

- Bruce, stop.
- Bruce, no sex, bruce.

- I know.

There's lots of puppy love
around here.

- Yeah.

- So look at this.
You are such a diva, vivi.

- It's so cute.
- You are so adorable.

- It feels great to be back
in the same room with stassi.

It's like dating
that new girl again.

I was afraid of that spark
not being there,

But it's definitely there.

[chuckling]

She's not an accessory
on your purse.

- Yeah, she is.
She's a keychain.

- She's a keychain?

I told her
I'm going to therapy,

And I'm not taking this like as
a joke the second time around.

- Oh, what happened to you?
Someone got you fat.

- She's not fat,
I asked the lady.

- She doesn't know
how much she weighed

Before you took her
to laura-leigh.

- Well...Do you want
to get a leash?

- I don't want to see anything
that laura-leigh got for my dog.

You are absolutely
not going to let zoe

Wear anything that
that bat-[bleep] crazy chick

Has bought for her.

- I'm not--
- she hasn't gotten her groomed.

- That's my fault.

- She doesn't even
wag her tail anymore.

She looks depressed.

- For you to even get like mad
over the collar--

I feel like you still care
a little bit.

- You've just made so many
bad mistakes that it's like--

- I understand.

But I just
want to be involved.

- I'm trying really hard
to be your friend

And to make this work.

I'm trying really hard to, like,
learn to trust you again.

- I'm doing everything in my
power this week to make sure--

Walking on egg shells
for you, basically.

- But you're not giving me
any like, "well, look at him."

I mean I've literally
changed my life.

- I understand.
And that's--that's fine.

I mean, like, I literally
would do pretty much anything

For you at this point.

Like I would literally
do anything.

- I would love to be able
to trust him again

And find out that this cheating
thing was a lie,

But I don't know
who to believe at all,

So I'm taking jax as my friend
again and hanging out with him,

But it will take a lot for us
to get back together.

- Oh, can you
go get your wallet?

[chuckles]

- I just gave you 100 bucks.
Where did that go?

- What's happening?

- Um, I'm quitting.
- Ohh.

- No, I'm quitting because
I booked a movie.

- Oh, you did?
- A huge movie!

- Oh, you did?
- A huge movie,

With jennifer anniston.

I'm playing opposite of her.
- Goosebumps.

- And I fly out tonight
at 10:00 p.M.

And go sh**t
in north carolina.

- See, I told you.

Believe in yourself, right?

- It's so--it feels uncanny.

I used to watch her in e!
True hollywood story at home,

Like on my couch in arkansas
and be like,

[gasps] "I can do that."
- it's a great part?

- It's a great part!
It's hilarious.

I'll take that back with--
I mean, like, I'm happy for you.

It's exactly what she needs.

She needs to hightail it
out of here

And she needs to get as far away
from jax and stassi as possible.

I'm really, really, really,
really, really happy for you.

I mean, really.
I mean, I really am.

- And I told this to jax,
"this is your life.

"you are a 33-year-old
bartender,

Because you're not doing
anything to go anywhere."

- Well, don't tell him that,

Because he might want to quit
and I need him right now.

Okay?
[both laugh]

So get on your plane
and go and do your stuff.

- Yes, yes, yes.

- And keep it together,
laura-leigh.

- I am.
Oh, I am.

This is--
this is all I needed.

- It's strange, really, because
just a couple of days ago,

Laura-leigh was the girl
that nobody wanted to be,

Nobody wanted to hang out with,
and suddenly,

She's the one that gets the call
for stardom.

Payback's a bitch.
- Thank you for everything.

[squeals]

- Go on, you silly girl.

Okay, go on.

Okay.
- Okay, I'm out.

- Go on before I cry.
- I'm out, I'm out.

- Whew!

[rock music]

- [singing indistinctly]



[music ends]

[guitar strums]

- Sweet!

- Hang on, guys.
Kristen's calling me.

Hey, what's up, baby?

- Hey.
- What's going on?

- Nothing, I'm just...
Kind of stressing out.

I don't know.

I just--I want
to talk to stassi.

I have to work with her
and be around her,

And I don't want to have
all this animosity

Between us anymore.
- Yeah.

- You know.

- I hate seeing you like this
too, you know.

- Stassi and I have been
best friends for three years,

And we haven't spoken
in weeks.

It sucks.

It's not like I want to be
a bitch and, like--

And tell her,
"oh, you're wrong."

- That's not going to happen
with stassi, we know that.

I think you should do it,
babe.

I think you should get it over
and get it done with,

And that way things can
just be kind of normal.

Especially when you're at work,
you know.

- I know, she literally
just walked out

And went into her purse,

Right when you were
talking to me.

- Be honest and be open,
and I think it'll be fine.

- Love you too.

- ♪ mm, hey, hey, hey

♪ hey, you,
with your heels on high ♪

♪ on your way home
from your nine to five ♪

♪ try to keep up

- Stassi, kristen,
lisa wanted me to remind you

Tomorrow, 10:00, her place,
for the photo sh**t.

- Oh, for the photo sh**t.
- For the photo sh**t.

- Is laura-leigh gonna be there?

- She got a part in a movie.
She's done.

She's not working here anymore.
- Shut up, she booked it?

- Yeah.
- She's not coming back to sur?

- No, she's not, she's done.
- Quit, done.

Oh, my god...

Okay. What?
- Cool.

- Okay.
- Just letting you know.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

- I'm super excited about it.

- Stass, can we talk
for a sec?

- Yeah, that's fine.

- Wanna go outside?
- Yeah. Okay, hold on.

- Okay, so on a higher note,
laura-leigh's done.

- Okay, if we're going to talk
about laura-leigh,

I'm going to be out of here
in like two seconds.

I don't want
to tolerate that.

- I know I'm trying to like
make the situation light.

- Are you okay?

- Obviously not.

I just feel weird.

[crying]
like you and katie

Actually had time to talk
and, like, hash things out,

And then I hear like
you and frank are done,

And then jax
and laura-leigh are done,

And it's like--
I feel like it's, like,

"oh, so everything's back to
normal," or something, you know.

I don't feel like
I did anything wrong.

- There's been things
that have happened

Where you've been mean.

- I was just so angry because
you ditch so hard on us,

Like you just--
with frank and with other people

Who were, like, about frank.
Like, we were never--

I was never about, like,
jax, like.

- But that's what it's looked
like for the past two months.

I'm promising you that it
was never about you or jax.

- Okay, but--
- to me it was like,

I just didn't feel like
it was about frank.

If I'm your best friend,
you should, no matter what,

Be supporting--you guys turned
your backs on me every time.

- But you jumped away
from us for frank.

Everyone drove me to him,
because I was isolated.

- I never drove you to him.

- Just--if you could imagine,
like, you and tom,

You broke up with him,

And imagine if all of us didn't
really talk to you anymore

And we hung out with tom and his
new girlfriend all of the time.

Like that's not what friends
are supposed to be doing.

You guys are all
still like a family,

And I'm on the outside.

I felt so lonely all summer.

I felt so [bleep] lonely.

[sentimental pop song]



- And when someone goes through
something like that, a breakup,

You would think that you would
have your friends

To be there for you.

And I didn't have that.

- It wasn't me not trying to be
there for you, I just--

- I need you to just
be my friend, like--

- Keep my big mouth shut
and just let you

Live your life
and support you.

I'll try really hard.

- [chuckles]

That's what I can promise you.

So we're good?
- Yeah.

I mean I feel
a lot better already,

Like, talking about it,
you know.

[both laughing]

- Ohh...

- Don't cry.

People are going
to come out and see us

And think we're lesbos,
and I'm gonna love it.

We're good to go.
[both laughing]

- ♪ got a funny way
of showing affection ♪

- Wow, beautiful.

- I'm not teasing you at all.
I'm telling you the truth.

- But you're still
going out with him.

- Oh ho ho!

- Hey.
- Hello.

- Hi.
- Honey.

- Maestro.

- Wow, it's gorgeous!
- I know.

It's very different
to the other house.

- Yes.
- Hello. Hi.

Lisa.
Are you fabian's assistant?

- Yes.
- Oh, okay. Great.

Every year we do a photo sh**t
for sur.

We're doing two days
with two different settings,

And it's going to be a very sexy
sh**t by the pool.

Hi, girls.
All: Hi.

- Hi, how have you been?
- Hey, baby.

- I don't think you know
scheana.

- I haven't seen lisa since
we argued at the vip dinner.

I was so worried she wasn't
going to have me

Be a part
of this photo sh**t,

But I'm so happy
I get to be in it.

- I thought we could do maybe
a little kind of promo sh**t

Of them all, like,
looking really sexy,

And it could be when,
you know,

The summer is ending
and we can put,

"the summer has ended,
but it's still hot at sur."

- Wait, that's so cute!
- That is really cute!

- That's why I get paid
the big bucks.

- I really like that.

- Well, let's take them
upstairs.

These kids look amazing, you
know, with their clothes off.

Okay, upstairs.

I think probably any time

They spend walking around

With their clothes on
is a waste.

Go on.
- All right.

You know where my closet is,
stassi.

Don't touch anything.
I'll be up.

- Are you ready?
- Oh, my god.

[overlapping chatter]

- Here it is!

- Oh, my god, lisa's closet
is bigger than my apartment.

Absolutely ridiculous,
amazing.

- Is this not insane?
- Oh, my god.

- Oh, my god.

- It's like my favorite place
I've ever been.

- This is a boutique.
- Okay.

- Oh, my god.
- Oh, my god, lisa.

- Lisa.
- This is a boutique.

- I want this.

- Well, you are princess stassi.

You behave like
princess stassi.

- So then I need to wear it.
- It does look perfect.

- Pandy gave me this
little tiara.

When she got married,
she wanted me to wear it.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

- You really want me to wear it?
- Yeah, I bought it for you.

- Of course, princess stassi
went straight for the tiara.

Who'd have thought?

This is a really,
really good piece.

You want that?
- Yeah, that's amazing.

- Okay.
You go with that.

- Stassi, come on, all the good
stuff's going.

- I think I chose.

- That's good.

- I'm just really overwhelmed
by all of this right now.

- Yo, we're going to look
so amazing.

- Are the other girls here yet?
- I think they just got there.

- Okay.
Send them up.

- Take my leftovers.
- Sloppy seconds.

[laughter]

- [chuckles]

[overlapping chatter]

- Looks good, you guys.
- We know.

- Ken, you couldn't get
the girls a drink, could you?

- Water.
- Tap water.

- All right.
So go up there,

Get ready,
but don't hang around,

Because we want to get
as much as possible, okay?

So you take those, darling.

And those earrings.

- ♪ like my romeo

♪ dress me up, dress me up

- Boobies.

- Right! Ah!

- ♪ shut up, shut up, yes

♪ dress me up, dress me up

- Let's go.

We've got literally 20 minutes.

That looks gorgeous.
- I'm ready.

- Do we need shoes
for this one?

- No.

Behind you.
Okay.

Is anybody else here?
- I'm here.

- Come on, jennifer.

You look perfect, go on.

It's not gonna be the best way
to keep a secret

To bring frank
to villa blanca.

Of all the restaurant--
wait, wait, wait, wait.

Let me just finish--
because it's not me

That's going to expose it.

But it would be the other staff.
- So--

- I'm just saying it complicates
the whole situation.

- I know.

- Out of all the restaurants
in los angeles,

Stassi has dinner
with frank of villa blanca.

Hmm, there's a message there
somewhere.

- I had to go there to pick up
my computer from--

- Bull[bleep].
You're doing it.

I know what you're up to.
- No, I'm not. You think I--

- Yeah, you don't want it
to be a secret.

You want to provoke
the situation

Because that's who you are.

- I thought it was fine to go
into villa blanca

And have dinner and then,

God, [bleep] just blows up
in my face.

- It was embarrassing for me
as well.

- Why?

- Because I'd just given him
the hoof.

- Oh, I didn't really--
I'm sorry.

I didn't even
think about that.

- Exactly, you don't think about
anything but yourself.

Listen, I know
what you're up to.

I know your game.
Now get down in the pool.

I got your number, stassi.

[techno music]



- Yes!

- Take one.

- Cheers.
All: Cheers.

- Wow. Amazing!

Wow!
Done.

- When you work at sur,
you're not just a server.

Yes, you need to know how
to take orders, the whole thing.

- Beautiful! Perfect.

- But the next minute,
you're going to find yourself

Posing in bikinis
for a promo sh**t.

- Stacy!

- Stassi!

- Perfect.

Up, up, up, up.
Good, good.

- Oh, what a surprise!

My husband is suddenly
hanging around the pool

Like a dog in heat.

- Now, sexy, sexy,
sexy, sexy, sexy!

Come on, more sexy.
More, more, more!

I want more, come on.

Kristen, that is great,
come on.

Wow! Amazing.

Perfect.
Ooh, yoy, yoy.

Okay.
- Guys, lunch.

[overlapping chatter]

- You really want
to bring this up now?

Because--
- is it gonna end with him

Or is this wasting my time
or what?

Stassi and I have
been hanging out a lot.

I thought we were building
some kind of foundation again.

And then when I find out she's
hanging out with frank again,

It's almost like a slap
in the face.

Am I gonna find out next week
you're going out again,

Or find out the week after?
There's just no point.

It's just, you're teasing me.
You're just keeping--

- I'm not teasing you at all.
I'm telling you the truth.

- But you're still
going out with him.

- I'm not going out with him.

We hung out a few times.
- That has to stop.

I just--I just can't do this.

I don't want to lose her.

But it's at this point right now
where it's just--

I don't really know
what's happening anymore.

Like I don't know
where I stand anymore.

It's such an uphill climb.

When do you throw in
the towel?

Like, when do you
just give up?

After hanging out with you
for like a week,

Everything's all normal again.

Okay, believing like,
you know,

Like giving me
a little bit of hope

And then taking it
away from me.

I just--I don't think
that's fair.

- I didn't take away any hope.

- You did.
- No, I didn't.

- Yeah, you were with me.

You were spending time
with me.

- I didn't take away any hope.

- Yeah you did, then--
- I'm still talking to you.

So if you want to ask me
questions about frank,

I'll answer them truthfully.

I'm not hiding anything
from you.

- Am I wasting my time?

That's all I want to know.
- You have a lot to prove,

But you're not
wasting your time.

- Okay.
That's all I want to know.

That's all
I have to say.

- Well, don't swim away
like a moody mermaid.

- I'm not swimming away like
a moody mermaid.

Like, you know, I'm trying
to hang out with you.

I'm putting in man hours here.

- I would like to think
that I could trust jax again,

But it's just really hard
for me to think about

Letting him back in.

- Can I give you a kiss
on the cheek?

- Jax...We need photo.

- Okay.

- Amazing, amazing, good.

Next couple.

[indistinct chatter]

Has anybody got any socks
for jax?

[laughter]

- Come on, it's--
- let's have a look.

- I hate to give away
the secret,

But in the male modeling
industry, everybody does it.

- Never mind, it's no matter.
Perfect.

Perfect.
Move back.

- I'm not going to need
the sock in a minute.

- Oh, my god.

- I think those two together--

I mean they look like
they're made for each other.

I don't know why they make it
so complicated

And they don't
just get on with it.

- Perfect.
All righty.

- Okay, guys,
we're wrapped up.

So give me the socks,
and we're done.

Okay.
[overlapping chatter]

- [squeals]
- oh, my god!

- Have one!

- The thing that really
set her off

Is she heard
that I cheated on her.

- Did that happen?

- And...Just them.

- Tell me why you want
to be with her.

- I just turned 33.

I'm kind of finally
realizing, like,

What I don't want anymore
and what I do want.

I decided to see a therapist
because I feel like

There's a lot of things about
my life that need to be fixed.

I feel like this is my only play
to get stassi back.

This is what I have to do.

I'm originally from michigan.

I went from going
to a community college,

Working two jobs
and being a normal guy,

To now I'm living this
rock star lifestyle,

And things changed a little bit
when I moved here.

Like I've been living
in new york and miami.

Can't be any different than
new york or miami or europe.

So I come here and it is,
it's a lot different.

People don't really
care about,

"oh, you're a model,
that's all you do?

That's all you do?"
and I'm like,

"well, [bleep],
I startcollege."

"oh, you started college.
Ooh, you didn't finish."

And I was like, "well, maybe
if I just tell people

So I started, like,
fabricating stories.

I mean, for instance,
my real name is not even jax.

It's not--I changed my name
right off the get-go.

My real name is jason.

It's not real,
this life I've been living.

Now I'm trying to go back
to the person who I used to be.

After a while, I get in
a relationship with a girl,

And then things
would start to unravel,

And then stories
would start to trickle,

'cause I couldn't even keep up
with what I was saying anymore,

Because I forgot
what I would say.

To women prior to this?
- I go through patterns.

Like, I'll have a girlfriend
for like a year,

And then I'll go on a rampage

- Meaning I'll sleep with
anything that moves pretty much.

- While you're with the girl...
- No.

- Or after you've left her?
- After I've left her.

This is where I'm trying
to get with--with stassi.

It was great in the beginning.
It was wonderful.

Like, you know, she's a gorgeous
girl, extremely intelligent.

Um, young, very young.

But it slowly fizzled away.

I think she had such control
over me, like,

And then I let her.
Like, she just, like,

Yanked that leash so tight.

She's so insecure, I basically
had to walk with flaps like this

For her not to yell at me,
and I can do nothing right.

- Why was that okay for you?

- Because I loved her.
I was in love with her.

I mean, I'm still
in love with her.

I fell hard.
We moved in together.

I met her on a Wednesday,

And I think we moved in together
on Saturday.

- Really?
- I met her in vegas.

- Wow!
- It just--

Things have just gotten
out of control.

- You try so much to be there
for the other person

Or to please them.

The lying, for example,

Is you're trying to be something
that you're not,

- The thing that really
set her off

Is she heard
that I cheated on her.

That was--
that was another thing.

It's somebody at work.
- And did that happen?

- No.
- It's a lie?

- Yeah, it's a full-on lie.

I did sleep with somebody,
but this was before stassi,

And she got pregnant.
- Okay.

- I was on the phone
to a friend

Who's going through
the same story...

- As frank
was in the car with me.

Now, frank was my friend.

So he remembers this,
it jogs his memory,

And tells her that,
oh, I cheated on her,

And that set her off,

Because we were
actually fixing things.

- She didn't come
and talk to you about it?

- No, she doesn't talk to me
about it at all.

- So she took
his word over...

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, look at my past.

Do you blame her?

- Were you able to be completely
honest with me?

- Yeah, absolutely.

- I mean, I have clients
who have come and told me

After months of working with me
or whatever it is,

And they're like, "you know,
I used to lie to you a lot."

So if that ever does happen and
we continue to see each other,

You can always just--
- oh, yeah. Right.

- You got to be real
about where you're at.

You can't try to be something
that you're not,

Like you have been.

- Hello.

- Hey, hello.

- Brought a little surprise.

For the second day
of our photo sh**t,

I want this to be all about
the girls, the glamour,

The gorgeousness of sur.

We have everybody here,
the best of the best.

We have the stylists.
We have the makeup artists.

We closed the restaurant
for the day.

We've got the best
photographers.

Now, I need my staff
to really pull it together.

I mean they're kind of
an ugly bunch,

But I think we can
clean them up a bit.

- You can start with that.
- Okay, sure.

- Oh, my god.
I'm loving this right now.

- Way cooler to dress up in
these amazing designer clothes.

In real life, we absolutely
don't wear anything like this.

None of us can afford it.
We're broke b*tches.

- Look at these.

- I like that.
I like that.

But we want them to have some
individual sh*ts as well

So they can keep them
for themselves.

You know what I mean?

I want them all to get
a great picture.

- I'm obsessed with this outfit
right now.

- It's so, so you.

- You almost look like a lady.

[laughter]

- Whoa, very nice.

- Do I look good?

- Yeah, fantastic.

- It's a little off-center,
the bust. See what I mean?

When I see these girls all
looking so flipping gorgeous.

I mean,
it's an unusual situation.

Restaurants don't have staff
like this.

But after all,
it is hollywood.

- Perfect, perfect.

- You look great, girls, huh?

- She looks curvy and beautiful.

- So are you and jax taking
sexual photos together?

- Oh, my god.

I mean it was looking
really good, but what--

You guys went off and had,
like, a heart-to-heart.

- I'm so confused
about my love life.

- Because I know jax is like
really, really trying.

I mean, I know,
like he said,

But other than that, I feel like
if you were to, like,

"cut off your pinky right now,
or I'll never talk to you,"

He'd probably do it.

I'm trying
not to push stassi

Into running back with jax,

But I kind of
secretly am hoping

That they do
get back together.

- I've never been the type
of person to think like,

"if it's meant to be,
it's meant to be."

Right now, I'm starting
to think like that.

- We totally got our picture
together.

- This is so much better
than last year's.

- I know.
- I wasn't a part of it,

So of course it's better.

- But now you're here.
- No! I hate her.

- I hated this little b-yotch.

- How the world turns.

- Crazy what a difference
a year makes.

- I started at sur feeling like
I didn't have any friends,

And now I've worked my way into
being a part of the sur family.

It kind of feels like home
outside of home.

That means a lot to me.

Just imagine,
like, a year from now.

- Things are going to be--
- who's going to be pregnant?

- I better be engaged next year,
that's for sure.

- Okay, you'll be engaged.
- Yeah.

- I'm just surprised
by how much I like scheana.

I feel like I have a girl crush
on her, honestly.

This was one situation where
my gut instinct was totally off.

I better have
my own style book.

- I'll be rich.

I'll win my first oscar.

- Reach for the stars,
kristen.

[laughter]
- oh, my god.

- ♪ I got this thing,
it ain't like no other ♪

♪ boys want a taste,
hell, yeah, they want a taste ♪

- Perfect.
- ♪ women like me, men like me

♪ because I'm so high

♪ with a little bit of this
and a little that I can never ♪

- Beautiful.

Beautiful, lisa.

[laughter]

- Yeah!

That's what
I'm talking about.

- ♪ so natural...
So sexy ♪

- Come on, give me attitude.

- Perfect, beautiful.

- Like...

- Great, we are done!

- Whoo! That's a wrap.

Thank you, fabian.

Amazing.

Thank you.

Can you put your trousers
on now?

- [laughing]

I'm sexy like this.

- Of course you are.
[laughter]

- Hi.

- Hi, darling.

- Do you have a second?

- I'm exhausted.
Is it important?

- Kind of. First of all,
I just want to apologize

For the other night for getting
so upset and leaving.

It's frustrating because
I talked to her, I apologized.

To happen every shift
I work when she's here.

Like, it sucks.

- I understand that.
I do understand that.

It was so unlike you,
to be honest.

- That's--I know.
- I was really surprised,

Because I don't want
to put pressure on you.

I do hold you
to a higher standard.

I shouldn't, but I do.

But you have
to understand that

There were so many
deep feelings,

And although you had
the conversation with brandi,

It's not necessarily resolved
straightaway.

Why are you crying?

- No, I just--
- why?

- I just feel bad
'cause it's like

I wanted to resolve everything
with brandi,

And I just--
I wanted it to be better.

And I just like--
I just--I feel bad, like,

I just feel like I'm, like,
failing at this 'cause--

- No, darling.
- I want to make you proud,

And I just like--
- you do make me proud.

You make me very proud.

- I have so much respect
for lisa as a businesswoman,

A mother, a woman.

I want her to have
that same respect for me,

And I was so worried
I lost it.

No, and I completely
understand.

I just--I don't ever
want to, like, disappoint you,

And when I walked out I got in
the car and I was just like,

"why did I do that?

And I should have stayed
and I just"--

- We all have off days.
- I know.

- Don't you think I've wanted
to run sometimes?

Maybe I don't now,
because I'm older.

But have I in the past?
Of course I have.

- I've never done that before.

I would never
do that again, so...

- If so many of the others
sat here and told me this,

I would know that it
was jack [bleep],

And tomorrow would be exactly
a repeat of what happened.

- Right.
- But with you,

I know, 100%.
- Yeah.

- 3 1/2 years is a great
indication of who you are.

- I just wanted to say
I'm sorry.

- It's okay.
- [sighs]

- That's okay.

- Thank you for letting me
wear your earrings.

[laughs]
- you're welcome.

- What the [bleep] did I
ever do to you?

What did I ever do to you,
like, to deserve this?

What did I do?

- Great. Okay.

Now, girls, I need a kiss.

So...
- That was easy.

- But look, it's not like...

- [laughs]
- not--it's not like this.

- Do you not like kissing me,
scheana?

- I love kissing you.

- All right, that's better.

- She tasted like
a sweet, sugary

Britney-esque pop star.

[chuckles]

- Perfect.
Perfect.

- I didn't think I would be
kissing stassi.

I did hope we would
make up one day,

But that was just
a little bonus, I guess.

So how was it for you?

- It was really good.

- You have really
soft lips.

- So do you.
[both giggle]

- Guys...

[overlapping chatter]

[all cheering]

- Whoo!

- Great. You guys have all
been amazing today.

Let's have some fun, okay?

- I don't want to lose stassi.
I want to see her happy.

I hope I can be the person that
can make her happy someday.

You know, I think I did
enough damage at sur.

Would you like to go outside?
- You want to talk to me?

- Yes, please.

Uh, basically,
now is the just the time

To patch it all up and--
and move on.

- What is it?
Why are you so troubled?

- Just--I don't feel like
this is a healthy place

And I feel like it's just time
for me to move on.

I can't be good for myself
or for her

If I'm in the same place
with her.

- I understand that.

- And I want her to keep her
job--she's here.

- Who was it
who that said that?

- You said that.
You're right.

And I should have listened,
but of course I had,

"no, no, no, it's fine,
it's fine."

- But, you know,
let me tell you this.

You change your mind
like the wind.

I mean when I said to you just
a couple of weeks ago, you know,

I was going to suspend you,
you said to me,

"lisa, this is my most important
thing to me.

My job
is so important to me."

And then the way
you said to me,

"I love stassi so much,"
at my house.

The next day,
you're with laura-leigh.

I think you've got to hold
yourself accountable

For the way
you treat people.

I want you to take
responsibility.

- Here's my responsibility.
It's time for me to go.

- Okay.

Listen, I'm not
holding you here.

But do you need a job
or not?

- I'm okay.

No, I don't need a job.

- Okay.
- I'm good.

I want to be better for myself
and for, you know, stassi.

- I think it's time for you
to grow up.

- I--tch--I agree.
I totally agree.

I'm trying to do that.
I'm trying.

- Go do what
you gotta do.

- Can I talk to you for a minute
in the back?

Alone. Alone.
- Yeah.

- Can I set this here or do you
want to bring it with you?

Alone, please.

This is basically
just a congratulations

On our sh**t and everything,
and just...

This is going to be really hard
for me to say.

That a month before
everything happened...

[sighs]

I did go to vegas and have
relations with somebody else.

I'm sorry.
I know that doesn't...

- [crying] you've spent
the past two months

Lying to me,
lying to my best friends.

Making frank, jen, and jeremy
look like liars,

Bashing them,

When they were just helping me
and telling me the truth.

When you were the piece of
[bleep] the whole, entire time.

You knew how much--
how scared I was of cheating.

Why? Why?

Was it worth it?

- No.
- What, was it worth it?

- No.
- Look where you're at now.

You're [bleep] miserable.

Look where you're at now.

What the [bleep]
did I ever do to you?

What did I ever do to you,
like, to deserve this?

What did I do?

[sniffles]

You're an [bleep].

You are an [bleep].

And just to lie and lie
and lie and lie and lie.

- How can you ever trust
somebody like that?

- God, I [bleep] hate frank!

- I believe that whole p*rn star
pregnancy thing

Is a crock of [bleep].

- Yeah.
- Like, I don't believe it.

- I am being set up.

Did I get a girl pregnant
in vegas four months ago? No.

- And I believe you 110%.

- You're not on an honesty kick.
You're not a new man.

You're the same [bleep] liar
that you always have been.

- I'm so sorry.

There's no excuse for this,
I know.

We were having a bad month,
and I just--

- It doesn't matter if you're
having a bad month!

It doesn't matter.
It does not matter.

- I don't care if you're going
through a hard time

In your relationship--
there's no effing excuse.

There's no excuse.

I lost my friends for months
because they believed you,

'cause that's how good
of a liar you are.

Everyone believed you.

[sniffles]

And I sat there just knowing
that you did it

And waiting and waiting for you
to just be a man and admit it.

- I'm sorry for what
I did to you, I...

Ahem. There's no excuse.

I--but I do
love you very much.

Did you love me when you went
to vegas and just had sex

With somebody random
and then lied to me?

You made my life [bleep]
miserable.

You took my dog from me.

You started dating
one of my friends.

You made my life miserable when
you're the one that [bleep] up.

You're the one
that messed up,

And I've looked like a bad guy
the whole, entire time.

Everyone's hated me,
everyone's blamed me

Because you're a great liar,
and no one [bleep] believed me.

No one believed me.

You have to be an evil person
to do that.

- I'm gonna disappear.

You won't see me again.

Okay?

I don't want to hurt you
anymore.

I feel like
I got everything out.

You'll never hear from me again.
I won't call you again.

I won't speak to you again.

Okay?
- Okay.

- Is that what you want?
- Yeah.

Right now,
that's what I want.

- Bye.

[clears throat]

- I already have trust issues.

Like how am I supposed to trust
anyone again after this now?

- Guys, real quick.
Um, this is really hard for me.

What I--what I did, um...

I did...Just...

I did cheat on her.

And it was the worst mistake
I ever made.

- I defended jax
the entire summer,

And I almost lost
my best friend.

It was a real [bleep] move
on his part.

- And, um...

It's--I'm--
just give me a moment.

I'm just--
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'll just--I need to walk away
for a minute.

Just let me
walk away for a second.

Just let me walk away
for a second.

- Why didn't you
just tell me, man?

- It's like a circle with me.
It's like it doesn't stop.

It's the same bull[bleep]
that I keep doing.

- [crying softly]

[sobbing]

Frank was telling the truth the
whole, entire lime--time.

- Okay.
- He's--caused all these

Problems with my friends.
- I'm sorry.

- [crying] I...

- Did you say,
"it's over, get out?"

- Yeah, 'cause I don't want
to talk to him.

He fooled everyone.

To where everyone thought
that I was a bitch,

That I was an [bleep].

All summer long,
I haven't had my friends

Because he's so convincing
as a liar.

- I'm sorry.

I really trusted jax.

All of us did, but to find out
that it was the truth...

It sucks.

- Jax.

- Jax.
- Dude.

- Why didn't you just
tell me, man?

'cause I could have helped you
[bleep] deal with it, you know?

Kristen and I,
we took jax into our home

Because we thought
he was a victim in all this.

I was there for him
as a friend.

The fact that he lied to me,
I mean, it pisses me off.

- It's like a circle with me.
It's like it doesn't stop.

It's the same bull[bleep]
that I keep doing.

- You can't lie to me.

Yeah, dude.
- I know.

- I [bleep] campaigned
for you too, man.

- I drilled it in your guys'
heads that I didn't do this.

- I was like,
"I did not do this."

Why do I keep doing
this stupid [bleep]?

- I can't believe my ears.

He told me one on one,
"I did not have sex

With that woman,"
bill clinton-style.

- I was in vegas.

I was walking
down the strip by myself.

My buddy called me up.

He's like, "hey, come on,
I got a table."

There just so happened to be
a bottle service girl there.

I did what I did.

She called me up and she says,
"listen, I think I might

"have a problem, this and--
this and that.

It's going to cost
this much."

Like, "can you send me
this much?"

So I sent her some money.

I never heard from her again.

- Just now, right now,
make a choice,

Make a decision
that you're not going to lie

And do this [bleep] anymore.
- All right.

All right, this is why I did
what I'm doing.

This is why I'm coming clean
with all this [bleep].

There's no reason anymore.

- So where do you
go from here?

- To the bar.
[laughs]

- Well, that's a good place
to start.

But it's not a good place
to end up.

- I'm so sick
of the past two months

Being about relationships
and boys.

I don't want to think about
who I'm going to end up with or,

You know,
who I'm going to marry,

Or if jax
is going to change.

It's all about me right now.

- What are you going to do?
You want me to throw him out?

- I don't want him to be thrown.
He can, like a man, walk.

- ♪ it's just
a stupid rumor ♪

- Has he acted like a man
so far?

- No, but I don't need to stoop
to his level.

- ♪ oh, I tried so hard
to believe you ♪

♪ it's always hard to leave

♪ how could you
turn our love into ♪

- [sobbing quietly]

♪ every time that I
close my eyes I can see it ♪

- Over the past few months,
we've had make-ups,

We've had break-ups, somebody's
suspended, somebody's fired.

It's all crazy, but that
craziness belongs to sur.

- This is the first time
you've hugged me in,

Like, three months.
- I kissed you earlier.

[laughter]

- You want to go for dinner?

I know a nice place next door.
- Good.

I was hoping you'd say that.

[laughs]
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