12x09 - The Auteur

[bunniefuu]

[WOMAN] I just never thought
it would be like this, you know?

[CRYING] I'm almost 40.

Men treat me like I'm invisible.

I've given up on ever getting married

or even buying an apartment

because I've put all my money,

all my savings into IVF.

And I'm just so f*cking tired.

[MOUTHING]

[WOMAN] My friends, they
silently pity me, I can feel it.

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

[SIOBHAN] Oh, no, she's the worst.

She's been coming here for a few years

and it's the same pathetic
share every single time.

I know, it's like, "I get it,
your life sucks, but..."

- Maybe that's 'cause you suck.
- [LAUGHS]

[CHUCKLES] Do you want to grab a drink?

[SIGHS] I'd love to, but I have
an audition in the morning.

Ooh, exciting. For what?

Some "feminist" horror film
written by a man.

When are they gonna let us
tell our own stories?

When they're all dead?

Here. Put your number in.

Do you know Dr. Hill?

No. Who's that?

The best fertility doc in the city.

I'll text you his contact.

I-I actually really like my doctor.

Are you pregnant yet?

[CHUCKLES]

You're so nice.

There's nothing more important
than female friendship.

[ANNOUNCER] Please welcome
Academy Award nominee...

You're gonna be okay.

The ambulance is here.

How did you know I would win?

[DEX] Are you okay?

[ANNA] What the f*ck is he doing here?

You-you called him?

He is the baby's father.

You can ride with me in the ambulance,

but don't f*cking talk to me.

[GASPS]

[SHOUTS]

[SIOBHAN] I'll meet you at the hospital.

[GRUNTS]

I'm so proud of you.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Thank you.

[SIREN WAILING]

[SCREAMS]

[PANTING]

Shouldn't there be a medic back here?

[SCREAMS]

I'm sure it's fine, honey.

[SCREAMS]

f*ck!

[SIREN WAILING]

Which hospital are we taking her to?

Ma'am?

I need quiet in order
to drive the ambulance, sir.

I'm trying to help.

And you've been doing
a fantastic job of that so far.

[ANNA] What's going on?

Ms. Alcott, are you... ? Hey!

[g*nsh*t]

[BOTH SCREAM]

[DEX] What the f*ck?!

- What the f*ck did you do?!
- [ANNA SCREAMING]

Aah! Aah.

[SCREAMS]

[SIREN WAILING]

The baby's coming.

f*ck!

[SCREAMS]

What the f*ck? What the f*ck?

Shut the f*ck up! Shut the f*ck up!

- Do something!
- Okay. Okay.

- [ANNA SCREAMS]
- Okay.

[ANNA SOBBING]

[SHOUTS]

[ANNA SOBBING]

Oh, my God.

- [CRUNCHING]
- [SCREAMS]

Fu... !

[ANNA SCREAMS]

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMS, CRIES]

[OSCAR CLATTERS]

- [DEX GROANING]
- [SIREN WAILING]

[ANNA WHIMPERS, PANTING]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[SIOBHAN] I want to make
a deal with you.

[CHUCKLING]

Well, uh, I hate to tell you...

Ms. Corbyn,

but, uh, that's not how this works.

I hate to tell you, Dr. Hill,

but that's exactly how this will work.

- [GRUNTS]
- I'm gonna give you the life of your dreams.

I'm gonna send you every high-profile

and wealthy patient who
will do anything for a baby.

- [GRUNTING]
- Spend anything for a baby.

You will become

the number one fertility
specialist in New York City

while always looking amazing.

And all you have to do

- is do exactly what I say.
- [GROANING, PANTING]

How does that sound?

- Is that a yes?
- [GRUNTS]

Yes. Yes.

[EXHALES]

Who are you?

I'm Siobhan Corbyn.

And I make my own rules.

[SIREN WAILING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[TIRES SCREECH]

- [GROANS]
- [CLAPPING]

Bravo. Bravo.

That was beautiful!

Oh!

[DEX GROANING]

What the f*ck is wrong with you?!

- [PANTING]
- [DEX GROANS LOUDLY]

Aw.

Did you know that Kamal has a child?

- [DEX SCREAMS]
- Sorry, had a child.

I bet you didn't even think to ask.

[DEX GROANING, PANTING]

You selfish bitch.

- [DEX GROANING, PANTING]
- [CHUCKLES]

- [DOOR OPENS]
- [DEX SCREAMING]

- [DOOR CLOSES]
- Dex.

[WAILS]

- [PANTING]
- [WAILING]

- [DOORS OPEN]
- [GASPS]

- [GROANING]
- [SHUSHING]

[GRUNTING]

Stop it!

- [CRYING]
- [GRUNTING]

- [GRUNTING]
- [CHOKING]

[CRYING]

Stop it!

[SIGHS]

[IVY] Whew.

I don't know about you,
but I personally...

feel fine never hearing
that man speak again.

[SIGHS] Right?

[CRYING]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMING]

[WHISPERING VOICES] Salve, o puer.

[GROANS LOUDLY]

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

- [CRIES]
- These are the last moments of your life

before you become a mother.

- [PANTING]
- Savor them.

Now...

push!

[SCREAMS]

- [CRYING]
- Harder!

... Domini nostri.

Salve...

- [CRYING]
- Harder than that!

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

- I can't.
- Salve, o puer.

Isn't it amazing that every
human being on this earth

was welcomed by the sound
of a woman screaming?

This is your night.

Now push!

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMS]

Salve...

[GROANING]

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

[BABY CRYING]

[PANTING]

Is he okay?

He's perfect.

[CRYING]

Let me hold him.

[CRYING CONTINUES]

[GROANS]

- ♪ Hush-a-by, baby ♪
- What are you doing?

- ♪ Baby not mine ♪
- [BABY COOING]

♪ My woeful wail ♪

♪ Do you pity never? ♪

♪ Hush-a-bye, baby, baby, not mine... ♪

Let me hold him!

[BABY COOING]

You already are.

What?

You're holding what you chose,

and I'm holding what you gave up for it.

No, no, no, no, no, I...
I didn't... I didn't mean that.

Oh, but you did.

You can't do this!

But we are.

[BABY CRYING]

[GASPS] Oh. Oh.

Okay.

You a hungry boy?

Here you go.

Oh, yes.

Ooh, he is a hungry boy. [LAUGHS] Oh.

Oh, such a good boy.

Ooh. Oh.

Give him to me!

[GROANS SOFTLY]

[GASPS]

What was that?

I didn't see anything.

[PANTING] Stop lying to me!

[SPRAYING]

You'll feel so much better
once you just surrender

[DISTORTED] and stop fighting.

[PANTING]

Stop!

Shh.

Stop it! [CRYING]

- [MUFFLED GROANING]
- [SHUSHING]

♪ And down will come Anna ♪

♪ Cradle and all. ♪

[BABY COOING]

Good morning, sister.

Rise and shine.

It's a beautiful day to make mayhem.

[SINGSONGY] Mm, mm, mm.

I knew it.

And nobody believed me.

Where is my baby?!

- Shh.
- Shh.

[EXHALES]

- [WHIMPERING]
- [SOFT LAUGHTER]

Hey, what's happening?!

Having trouble moving?

I brought your wheelchair, Ms. Alcott.

- I don't need that.
- Oh, I'm afraid you do. Look.

- [LAUGHTER]
- She paralyzed you.

In the T-10 vertebra.

- You'll never walk again.
- Here. Let me help you.

No, don't touch me!

Very well.

What did I do to deserve this?

- Ooh.
- Oh.

Look, there's that self-pity again.

"Wah-wah! Poor me".

You know exactly what you did.

You were selfish.

- Ambitious.
- Entitled.

- Conceited.
- Vain.

- [SONIA] Exhausting.
- In other words,

you were perfect.

Perfect for what?

[ALL] Our mission.

We recruit women
who want to have it all.

Career, marriage, motherhood.

We exploit that desire for what we need.

In your case, we needed
something extra special.

What?

- We'll show you.
- Oh.

One.

[ALL] Two. Three!

- Yes!
- Yes.

[LAUGHTER]

[NICOLETTE] We hung all
of these paintings for you.

We know how much you like them.

[LAUGHTER]

- [VOICE 1] Slut!
- [VOICE 2] Has-been.

- [WOMEN SCREAMING]
- [VOICE 3] Loser!

[VOICE 4] c**t!

- [SCREAMING]
- [OVERLAPPING VOICES]

Make it stop!

Oh, it never will. [LAUGHS]

You drank the Kool-Aid, darling.

Or rather, the B-12 vitamins.

[NICOLETTE] And the gift bag of goodies.

And all those fertility sh*ts
and progesterone suppositories.

And even my red lipstick.

And don't forget
the pickles and ice cream.

[SONIA] Why was the ice cream
in the fridge?

[NICOLETTE] f*ck you.

[SIOBHAN] Poor thing.

Don't you see?

This was all a part of the plan.

Welcome. At last.

We are so glad you're here.

How could you do this to me?!

Nothing has been done to you, Anna.

This is all being done for you.

I can't walk!

[LAUGHTER]

Yeah, all right, that part's a bummer,

but that's also kind of on you.

You reneged on our agreement.

- What? No, I didn't!
- You promised us a baby,

and then, you tried to take him back.

Don't gaslight a gaslighter, babe.

[SIGHS]

Why are my hands like this?!

Because you've got blood
on them, dum-dum.

[IVY] Proverbially.

But don't worry, it'll go away.

[ALL] If you join us.

The women we target
always have a choice.

Join us and receive our gifts:

eternal youth, beauty and power.

Or not,

and wander the world
ugly, aging and alone.

Just like your friend Mavis Preecher.

And even though I had Nicolette
start stalking you in infancy

to implant all of the qualities

that we needed for you
to be pliant and perfect,

technically, you still
have a choice, too.

[OWL SCREECHES]

Welcome, Anna.

[LAUGHS] I know. Surprise.

My little spies.

And my greatest and longest f*ck.

I only copulate with the most
depraved men I can find.

My Dexter, who was the conduit
of a miracle.

It shouldn't have been possible,
but 45 years ago...

he was actually really hot
back then... I conceived.

And I assumed the baby would be
a creature like his cousins,

but he was born human.

I made Virginia raise him as her own.

- What was she gonna say? No?
- [LAUGHTER]

- [CRYING]
- [SIOBHAN] And together,

we created the vessel that would give us

the most powerful creature of them all.

The baby you birthed.

[LAUGHTER]

[ANNA SCREAMS]

Your dead husband is my son.

And the baby you carried

is the product of his sperm and my egg.

He is three-quarters me. [LAUGHS SOFTLY]

I mean, we used to have to use
magic to make our creatures.

IVF produces miracles these days.

You're a monster.

Oh, no, babe.

I'm so much worse.

[BABY CRYING]

- [GASPS]
- [SIOBHAN] Somebody's awake.

Please, can I hold him?

Absolutely.

But if you hold him, you join us.

And if you don't want to, that's okay.

You'll just end up
like your friend Preech.

I mean, either way,
you'll always have him.

♪ ♪

- He can't wait to meet you.
- He can't wait to meet you.

So adorable.

Gather, my Delicates.

Salve, o puer.

Ave Satanas.

Vivant...

[GASPING]

[SIOBHAN] You k*lled my son.

You told me to.

[SIOBHAN] That was a test.

You were Abraham and he was Isaac.

[CHUCKLES] And what does that make me?

I k*lled the surrogate's
human twin for you.

I k*lled my own daughter for you!

So sweet. But not good enough.

Will she resurrect?

She doesn't need to.

But don't worry, ladies.

I saved the part of my son
I really needed.

I will be able to keep making
special creatures like him,

incubated in her, and in all of you,

until we fulfill our mission.

What f*cking mission?!

Saving the world, stupid.

[LAUGHTER]

We're breeding creatures who'll grow up

to have super abilities.

[ASHLEY] Super strength.

Super swiftness.

Super ruthlessness. [CHUCKLES]

And viciousness.

Our creatures will restore humanity

to the greatness intended for it.

[SIOBHAN] And the ones made with my egg

and my son's sperm will be
the most powerful.

[ASHLEIGH] They'll be our Napoleons
deploying their brute brethren

to k*ll every man on the planet.

Except for the ones
we keep as sex slaves.

[LAUGHTER]

We'll finally have a matriarchy.

[ALL] Utopia.

It's not utopia if you have to
k*ll innocent people

to achieve it.

Sometimes you have to snap a few necks

to do what's right.

Men are responsible for
destroying our ecosystem

as we speak.

We'll never recover from the damage

- toxic masculinity has caused.
- [BABY FUSSING]

Our only hope is to wipe out

the tyrannical systems destroying us.

And implement a new order.

[SONIA] One of love and sisterhood,

not oppression and machismo.

It will never work.

Oh, it will.

[ANNA] According to you.

But who are you?

I am The Auteur, bitch.

[WHISPERING VOICES CHANTING]

I run this world.

[BABY FUSSING]

You have to hold him now.

Someone just d*ed for you.

[WHISPERING VOICES CONTINUE CHANTING]

♪ ♪

[SIOBHAN] He's hungry.
It's feeding time.

[BABY SNARLING]

[SIOBHAN] Prepare Mama's nourishment.

[BABY CRYING, GROWLING]

[CRYING CONTINUES]

[SIOBHAN] You need to see
what you look like

the first time you nurse him.

[BABY FUSSING]

♪ ♪

Careful.

His teeth are really sharp.

Ah!

Why is my milk red?

Because it's blood.

Why do you think he loved
that dead raccoon?

Oh, yes, you did.

Yes, you did.

It-it hurts.

- It's good for him.
- Ah!

I can't do this.

Didn't you want to be a mother?

Not like this.

Motherhood is never
what we think it will be.

[BABY FUSSING]

It's so much more beautiful.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

I really thought that
you cared about me.

You comforted me.

You mothered me.

I trusted you.

I believed in you.

I loved you.

You're welcome.

How do you live with yourself?

Oh, sweetie, I'm obsessed with myself.

Just get away from me!

I never will.

We're blood-bound.

Together forever.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ ♪

[CHATTER CONTINUES]

What's wrong with you?
People will know you're here.

People will know you're here!
We see you, we hear you.

♪ Sooner or later you're gonna be mine ♪

♪ Sooner or later you're gonna be fine ♪

♪ Baby, it's time that you faced it ♪

♪ I always get my man. ♪

Let me fetch our libations.

[BABY GURGLING]

♪ Sooner or later you're gonna decide ♪

♪ Sooner or later
there's nowhere to hide ♪

[BABY FUSSING]

♪ Baby, it's time, so why
waste it with chatter? ♪

♪ Let's settle ♪

♪ The matter ♪

♪ Baby, you're mine on a platter ♪

[BABY FUSSING]

[WHISPERING] Salve, o puer. Ave Hestia.

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

Salve, o puer. Ave Hestia.

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

Salve, o puer. Ave Hestia.

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

[BOTH] Salve, o puer. Ave Hestia.

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

Salve, o puer. Ave Hestia.

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

- [BABY FUSSING]
- Salve, o puer. Ave Hestia.

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

Salve, o puer. Ave Hestia.

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

Only light can snuff out the dark.

Salve, o puer. Ave Hestia.

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

[LOUDER] Salve, o puer. Ave Hestia.

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

Salve, o puer. Ave Hestia.

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

Salve, o puer! Ave Hestia!

Vivant liberi Domini nostri!

Salve, o puer! Ave Hestia!

Vivant liberi Domini nostri!

Salve, o puer! Ave Hestia!

Vivant liberi Domini nostri!

[SCREAMS]

[WHOOSHING]

[GLASS SHATTERS]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[BABY FUSSING]

[BABY CRYING]

♪ ♪

[CRYING]

[CHUCKLES]

[WHISPERING VOICE]
Salve, o puer. Ave Hestia.

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

Salve, o puer. Ave Satanas.

Vivant liberi Domini nostri.

♪ ♪

[BABY CRYING]

♪ ♪