01x08 - Maxine Saves the Whale

[bunniefuu]

[EXPLOSIONS IN DISTANCE]

You're good?

[SIGHS] I noodle when
I'm... when I'm nervous.

What are you nervous about?

Everything, man.

Pretty late. You tired?

I'm wide awake, man.

Me too.

After tonight, yo... you and
I probably won't get to...

I know.

To hell with it. [CHUCKLES]

[ROBERT] You know we can't go there.

I know. You comin'?

[EXPLOSIONS]

Come on.

[ROBERT] Oh, man. [SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

- [CAMERA CLICKS]
- [ANN] The first family of Palm Beach.

I have to admit it, Maxine, I
didn't think you could pull it off.

Yet here we are.

And the Beach Ball is
just three days away.

[TRUMPET PLAYING JAZZ IN DISTANCE]

[INHALES DEEPLY]

- [SNAPS FINGERS]
- Back here.

- Oh. Sorry. [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES]

Norma, to claw your way
back from death's door

just in time for the 50th
anniversary of the Beach Ball.

Anything special planned?

[CLEARS THROAT, SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
... high water, I must do what I,

you know...

k*ll Maxine, so that things
can get back to normal.

Allow me. I speak Norma.

[CLICKS TONGUE] Uh, she's very
excited about her big entrance.

We're doing a musical number.

Entre nous, Ann, I'm
struggling to find the...

the perfect way to
commemorate this milestone.

What do you get the embolized
socialite who has it all?

[ANN, MAXINE CHUCKLING]

[ANN] One final question.

You've all overcome so much to get here.

Any regrets, Maxine?

[CLICKS TONGUE] Ann, I
do not believe in regrets.

[INHALES SHARPLY] I believe that
the key to a happy life and marriage

is to let go of past mistakes.

And every day is a
fresh start. [CHUCKLES]

[TRUMPET PLAYING JAZZ CONTINUES]

Did someone leave the
sad jazz station on?

Robert?

Yeah. Uh, you know, would you...
Y'all excuse me just for one minute.

Excuse me.

[GRUNTS]

[TRUMPET PLAYING JAZZ]

[SIGHS]

He didn't deserve you.

Who do you mean?

The man you're playing that sad
song for. He wasn't worth it.

I always screw up.

I don't know if I'm too
eager, too needy, too...

No, no. Don't say that.
You did nothing wrong.

He disappeared, and I know why.

You do?

I'm paying for past mistakes, Maxine.

You don't know the things I've done.

This is karma.

Look, coming from someone who lived
in a Catholic home for girls...

- [CHUCKLES]
- [ANIMAL GROANING]

... I can quote Sister
Mary Immaculata in saying,

"Karma is a bunch of bubkes bunk."

[GROANING CONTINUES]

What is that?

A whale.

[MAXINE] What? [STAMMERS] Be careful.

Is it alive?

[WHALE BLOWS]

It beached itself. It's... It's stuck.

[WHALE WHISTLES]

Stuck? No, no! No.

[STAMMERS] Shoo, shoo!
You... You gotta turn around.

- Don't touch it, d-don't touch it.
- Why?

We don't know if it has rabies
or some kind of sea disease.

- Oh, stop it. Oh, no.
- Oh, come on.

- H-Help! We need help.
- [MUMBLES]

Help! Help!

[WHALE GROANS]

[ANN] "F. Scott Fitzgerald"?

"Harry Houdini"?

"Frank Sinatra"?

Are these locks of hair from ex-lovers?

Yeah.

Ooh.

- [MAXINE] Douglas!
- [GASPS]

[SCOFFS] Have you seen my husband?

- Well, he left for the club.
- [SIGHS]

Did you know that Norma was
courted by the Prince of Wales?

Listen, I don't have time
for Mystery Date, Ann.

Hello, Officer. Could you
please send someone over

to escort a whale off my property?

Yes, a whale. You heard me correctly.

Well, then whose job is it?

- [LINE DISCONNECTS]
- [GASPS] How rude.

Oh, Maxine,

you can't have 90 tons of blubber
just frying in the Florida sun.

Oh, it'll be solved
in no time. [CHUCKLES]

Though this timing couldn't be worse.

I have a dozen deliveries coming today.

Would you be a dear and get
the door if the bell rings?

I'm supposed to just sit here?

You can chat with Norma.

Well, that could be fun.

You know, seems she was a
real man-eater back in the day.

A man-eater?

Yes. Um, operator,

could you please connect
me with Whale Removal?

[EVELYN] Oh, hello, hi. This
is, uh, Mrs. Maxine Dellacorte.

I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to cancel 30 cases

of Dom Pérignon being delivered today.

Oh, sure. Uh, replace them with, uh...

uh, Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.

- Thank you so much.
- [LAUGHING]

You are so bad.

[CHUCKLING]

[INHALES SHARPLY] Evelyn,
I met someone at your party.

My... Skeet's funeral, you mean?

The very same. But I can't tell
if I've piqued his interest.

Well, surely you're not
talking about Axel Rosenhips.

Dinah, darling, he's
older than Methuselah.

Ninety this week.

I'm hosting his birthday
party on my motor yacht.

[SIGHS] It's the only thing
the Feds haven't seized.

Open waters, you know.

[GASPS] Evelyn, do come.

We'll have cake, and
dancing and fireworks.

Make sure you don't give him a
heart att*ck before he proposes.

I want to show him how
fabulous life can be

with a properly pedigreed wife.

He has never been
married. Isn't that odd?

That's a red flag. It could
mean he can't, you know.

[GROANS] I should be so lucky. Thanks.

Skeet and I had the healthiest
sex life before the incident.

Evelyn,

have you been closed for
business all this time?

- [GROANS] Yes.
- [GASPS]

Well, hi there. This is
Mrs. Maxine Dellacorte.

Hi. [INHALES SHARPLY]
Uh, forget the prime rib.

L-Let's go with sloppy joes.

No buns, just the slop. [CHUCKLES]

Thanks, pal.

- [LAUGHING]
- [CHUCKLES]

Oh, Evelyn, you don't blame me, do you?

I have no idea when or if
Perry will ever be coming back.

Of course not. Darling,
we must all plan ahead.

- Hi there. This is Mrs. Maxine Dellacorte.
- [LAUGHING]

Those torches I ordered... Yes, would
you replace those with, um, oh...

[WHISPERS] Cottage cheese.

Cottage cheese? But... Yes.

- A treat for the cats.
- [CHUCKLES]

- [BOTH CHUCKLING]
- Yes, I'll have to call you back.

- You wanted a word, Evelyn?
- I did.

Dinah, would you excuse us? Douglas
and I need to tête-à-tête.

Frankly, I need a tête-à-tête too.

- [DINAH] Well, hi, ladies. How are you?
- [EVELYN SIGHS]

Eddie.

How is you shacking up with
another man for my own good?

I am not shacking up with Axel.

I'm 98% sure nothing
works below the belt.

I need him to like me enough to
support me so I can support you.

- Dinah, I love you.
- Hi!

Okay, this is our relationship,
not some business plan.

I've been waiting forever.

But I just need you to
wait a tiny bit longer.

Axel's 90, for God's sakes.

[INHALES SHARPLY] Just keep
your head together. Promise?

Promise?

Okay. Okay, I promise.

Thank you. [GASPS, YELPS] Oh,
no. You can't do that. [CHUCKLES]

- [CHUCKLES]
- Hello, sir.

[MEMBER] Hello.

That's the spirit.

Very handsome.

[OFFICER] We see this more and more.

People come for the season
with their junky motor yachts.

The whales get separated
from their pods.

They can't communicate, and
so they beach themselves.

Well, listen, mister, I
have a party in three days.

This fish needs to get off my beach.

It's not a fish. It's a mammal.

People learn that by the
time they're in sixth grade.

[INHALES SHARPLY] Well, I need
to get this mammal to skedaddle.

There's a slim chance
that it might swim out

with the rising tide tonight.

"Slim" is normally my happy word,
but what are the fatter chances?

It'll die.

Oh.

And then over the next three years,

it'll slowly decompose
until it's nothing

except just a big soup full of bones
and blood, and junk. Everywhere.

Or...

Or?

Gases will build up over the
next few months, and boom!

It'll just randomly explode.

Why would it do such a thing?

Maybe he had nothing left to live for.

Robert, please. Don't
say things like that.

I know you're upset about your
prince, but we can discuss it later.

I'm gonna go for a walk. I need
to clear my head a little bit.

Where are you going, Robert?

You can't just leave me with
this... [STAMMERS] ... beached whale.

I bet you ten to one he's just
gonna go look in the mirror,

'cause that's what handsome guys do.

My mom always said if
you want something done,

get a woman to do it.

- And a plain-looking man.
- [SCOFFS]

Can we get the National Guard?

Oh. How about you call the navy?

I think the best thing to do is
keep it wet and hope for the best.

Keep him wet? With what, a bucket?

More like a brigade.

[EVELYN] The movers are at
my house even as we speak.

I need an answer.

Will I help you blackmail
your stepdaughter?

If she wants to remain a free
woman, she'll have to pay up.

You can expect a heavy
percentage, natch.

Well, you never mentioned
a percentage before.

I'm mentioning it now.

[INHALES SHARPLY] It is a
plan worthy of you, Evelyn.

[SIGHS] Justifiable yet venal.

Thank you.

[INHALES SHARPLY] No.

I'm not helping you
get Penelope's money.

- Why not?
- I just had a close call,

and I'm not risking my
neck for anybody ever again.

One of these days, Douglas,

little wifey is not gonna
be able to bail you out.

Then you'll need something of your own.

- Your Bellini, Mrs. Rollins.
- Thank you.

Would you put that on my tab, Mitzi?

Ms. Rollins needs to watch her pennies.

[DOUGLAS] Yo, Pinky. Hey, hold up, man.

[PINKY] I didn't think
I'd see you around. [SIGHS]

I heard you got nabbed.

I did some serious thinking
in the slammer, man.

How long were you in?

Six long, excruciating hours.

I feel like I finally
understand you, Pinky.

This whole town is against men like us.

But times are changing, Dellacorte.

So what would we need, you and
I, to really shake things up?

Two million is a good start.

You think you can come up with that?

[CLEARS THROAT] Two million?

Yeah.

[SIGHS]

- Two million.
- Yeah.

[MARY] Ladies, Sylvia's
husband was just the beginning.

We need to help all the draft dodgers.

Our slow, but determined climb

has begun toward its eventual
and unequivocal nadir.

- [FERN] Preach. Preach.
- [ALL CHATTERING] Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Sisters, we must scale up.

[MEMBERS] Right. Yes. Mm-hmm.

We need safe houses all the
way to the Canadian Border.

My cousin, Fiona, in Hyannis Port

should be willing to lend her boathouse.

[INHALES SHARPLY] She's
always been a leftist,

much to the chagrin of
my beloved Aunt Paige.

[MAXINE] Linda! Are you home?

Oh! Greetings, bookstore people.

- [CHUCKLES]
- [MEMBER] Hi.

And Mary.

Hi, I didn't know this
scene was your scene.

I go where I'm needed.

You look different.

You've never seen me without my hair on.

I wore it like a helmet.

A shield of protection which
I am no longer in need of.

After bringing new life into the world,

I realized how foolish my life has been.

I've been enlightened.

Good. I'm happy for you.

And now that I'm seeing
all you ladies here,

I would like to tell you

that I am fighting for
a noble cause of my own.

- [INHALES SHARPLY] Uh, it's a whale.
- [MUTTERING]

An actual whale and...
and he needs your help.

It's on land. It's... It's
having trouble breathing.

And I... I need to get water
on him, as much as I can.

So if you could bring
some buckets and bowls,

- decorative vases. Get those clogs moving!
- [MEMBER] Come on, sisters.

Yes, let's sally forth
to Dellacorte Beach!

- [MEMBER] Let's save this whale.
- [SIGHS]

Yes, move those cords.

[MEMBER] A whale needs us.

[SIGHS] So, uh, where's Linda?

Locked in her room.

Yeah, ever since her father's
funeral, she's taken a vow of silence.

Oh.

Linda, we need a proper underground
to get these boys to Canada.

That weird society midwife
lady is working on safe houses,

and we're gonna need more money.

A lot of money.

That'll do it.

Do you ladies ever use chairs?

[INHALES DEEPLY] Everybody found
out about Linda's inheritance

and now they're all asking
for something. [SIGHS]

Might I stand in line? I need something.

You know what?

I'm not surprised.

Linda, it's Maxine.

I understand you're moping around
in there like a sourpuss. [GRUNTS]

"k*lled dad. Rewarded with
blood money. Need consequences."

[SIGHS] Well, it's funny
you should say that,

I'm wrestling with the exact same thing.

No, I did not k*ll my
father, by the way...

[SIGHS] ... but that doesn't
mean that I am not racked

with the same horrible guilt. [SIGHS]

[CLICKS TONGUE] Oh, Linda.

I need to talk to you, Linda.

[SIGHS]

With you on the other side of this door,

it's starting to feel like confession.

All right.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Linda, I have sinned.

I've hurt so many people,
I don't know what to do.

I lied to Douglas.

It was small, but...

you know better than anyone,
a small thing can... [SIGHS]

... turn into a big one.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

And I did something worse.

Something awful...
[SIGHS] ... to Robert.

I traded in his whale for my
minnow. And I'm being punished.

And I know I'm being punished.

"Punished by who?"

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

Maybe God?

The universe?

[PAPER SLIDES]

I can't tell him what
happened. Are you insane?

He'll never forgive me.

No, no, he can never know. Never.

What are you doing, crouching on the

floor like an incontinent Pomeranian?

Oh, um, Evelyn. What are
you doing here? [CHUCKLES]

Preparing for my exile.

- Here. Help me carry this albino ostrich.
- Oh.

Oh.

- Be very careful.
- Ow.

[MAXINE] It's heavy.

Hey there. Give me one second.

No, no, please take your
time. I used to be you.

Former bartender here.
I just quit. [CHUCKLES]

Do I know you?

[CHUCKLES] Sure do.

I arrested you.

Oh. [STAMMERS, CHUCKLES]

I didn't recognize you without the hat.

[INHALES DEEPLY] I'm
off duty. [CHUCKLES]

- Tom.
- Robert.

I know. I arrested you.

[CHUCKLES]

[MAXINE] Sure have a lot of birds.

[SCOFFS] You should see my bird room.

Oh.

[GASPS] Look at this feathery crown.

No, put that down. That's
a relic from my former life.

Is this all you're taking?

Unfortunately, the
trailer is rather cramped,

so I'm being forced to reduce.

Trailer?

Linda, in her benevolence,

has bequeathed me an
allowance of $500 a week,

as well as Skeet's
Airstream in Port Salerno.

Where's Port Salerno?

Exactly.

[SIGHS] Evelyn, um, I... I
can't bear to see you like this.

You're my North Star.

A woman with... with...
with such class and pedigree

shouldn't be trudging
off to a trailer in shame.

Who am I gonna look up to?

It's over, Maxine. I've
played my last hand.

Oh, pish.

You and I both know a
person's fortune can change

at a snap's chance.

Look at me. I-I'm a
pageant girl from Tennessee,

and I'm about to be crowned Queen
of Palm Beach in three days' time.

Oh, you're really booting
this pep talk, Maxine.

Every pageant girl knows
you've gotta reach back

and grab your runner-up
and cry with her.

I can't do the Beach Ball by myself.

[STAMMERS] I mean, the deliveries
alone are a full-time job.

Well, they're just deliveries,
Maxine. What could possibly go wrong?

Who else can save me
from my inner-Chattanooga?

All right, Maxine. You win.

Wonderful. [INHALES SHARPLY]

Is that a harpoon?

Oh, that. Yes, Skeet gave that to
me for our 17th wedding anniversary.

- Wasn't quite sure whe...
- I don't have time for history lessons.

- Grab that rusty poon and follow me.
- Oh.

I found it in our bed. [CHUCKLES]

Turned the sheets down. There it was.

Not sure what he intended,
but it could've been fun.

Half our guys barely passed basic.

It was a complete sh*t
show when we got to Okinawa.

[INHALES SHARPLY] I was at, um, Wolmido.

Last good day.

So you saw Red Beach?

Good friend of mine did.

He didn't make it out.

[BOTH SIGH]

Bad things happen to
people I get close to.

Mmm. Better keep my distance.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Hey, the universe isn't out to get you.

You're not that important.

Appreciate that.

[INHALES SHARPLY] Well...
[SIGHS] ... come by anytime.

This is my home away from home.

And do yourself a favor,
stay out of here after 6:00.

Oh, by the way, thank your boss for me.

That loopy blonde lady,
she really helped me out.

She might even get me a promotion.

[CHUCKLES] Wait, out of... out of what?

She gave us a tip to
help us nab some scumbag

hanging out at the Breakers.

Pretending to be a prince of all things.

A prince?

A lot of gullible people in this town.

[INHALES SHARPLY, SIGHS] It's
kinda sad if you think about it.

It was nice to meet you.

Again.

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

[FERN] Heave-ho!

[EVELYN LAUGHING] Oh, my God.
There is a God. [CHUCKLES]

[FERN] Come on, you have
the sisterhood behind you.

- It's not funny.
- It is.

- It is indeed. It's very funny.
- [WHALE GROANS]

It's perhaps the definition
of funny. [CHUCKLES]

Ladies, why don't y'all take a break?

There's lemonade and sandwiches inside.

- [CHUCKLING]
- Take a load off. [CHUCKLES]

Thank you.

So... [CHUCKLES] ... what's
your plan here exactly?

Well, uh, certainly not gonna k*ll him.

[WHALE BELLOWING]

Uh, I was thinking we could
just take your harpoon here

and Dinah's yacht and
drag him out to sea,

where he will be
reunited with his friends.

Dinah's yacht is already
spoken for this evening.

She's throwing a party
for her new old boyfriend.

Oh. I... I wasn't invited.

Why in God's name would she invite you?

You lost the Rolodex, which
led to Perry getting arrested,

which led to Dinah throwing a
birthday party for Axel Rosenhips,

the man with a bruising
condition and wooden teeth.

Well, those first two things
maybe, but that last one I don...

You're a life ruiner,
Maxine. You know that?

Look at me. Forced to
live on $500 a week.

I might as well gather up shells
and s-stick them in my pocket

and... and... and walk out in the
sea and... and... and... [STAMMERS]

Why is he...

looking at me like that?

- Who?
- [WHALE GROANS]

The whale?

Evelyn?

Are you playing a joke on me?

Penelope? You there?

The door was open, so I let myself in.

"What do you want, Douglas?"

Well... [CHUCKLES] ... it's
not so much what I want.

It's... It's more what your
stepmother wants. [SIGHS]

She wants me to thr*aten
to tell the authorities

that I witnessed you sh**t your father.

She wants her estate back, and
she says she's gonna cut me in.

- [SCRIBBLING]
- [PAPER RUSTLING]

"That's blackmail."

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah. It, uh... [SIGHS]

[CLICKS TONGUE] Yeah,
it sure seems like it is.

But look... [EXHALES SHARPLY]

... I... I... I promise
you, I flat-out told her no.

I am not looking backwards.

I'm looking forwards.

To the future of Palm Beach.

Pinky... Pinky told me
this new vision that he has.

"Let's start our own club," he said.

No more gatekeepers.

No more... [INHALES
SHARPLY] ... old money.

If you've got the dough, doesn't matter

if you're Black, brown, yellow, purple.

Nobody gives a sh*t.

And that kind of forward thinking
made me think of you, Linda.

So, I wanted to give you
the opportunity to invest.

Three million dollars
should get us started.

Don't you think that's a swell deal?

[PAPER RUSTLING]

"What happens if I say no?"

Well... [CHUCKLES]

... if you say no...

then I'll have to say yes to Evelyn.

[MAXINE] What's wrong with her?

Cetacean jubilation.

What's that?

It happens sometimes when the beauty

of the universe just rushes at a person

- after coming into contact with a whale.
- Well, will it pass?

I don't know.

I've heard about it in books,

but I've never actually
seen it in person.

[WHALE BELLOWING]

Oh.

Why on earth would Evelyn love a fish?

It's not a fish. It's a mammal!

How many times do I
have to tell you that?

Sorry. [SIGHS]

A whale's heart is 400
times larger than ours.

They're the only creatures
that started in the water,

walked on land, thought better of it

and then went back out to sea.

[WHALE BELLOWING]

They can change their minds?

[GRUNTS]

Here. Take this.

"The Undersea Adventures
of Jules Marceau: Whales."

[CHESTER] Yeah, you
need to educate yourself,

'cause I don't have time for this.

[SNAPS]

Okay, okay.

Maxine.

Oh, you're still here.

Do you know if Norma has any
photo albums laying around?

Um, I know she's got some
stuff in that closet over there.

- So help yourself.
- Hmm.

- [PAPERS RUSTLING]
- Mmm.

[WHALE CALLING]

[NARRATOR] Millions of years

before the Earth's first
creatures walked upon land,

- ocean depths were teeming with life.
- [WHALE BELLOWING]

Of all the underwater creatures that

evolved legs to become terrestrial,

only the whale changed its
mind and returned to sea.

Recently, our scientists have recorded

the low-frequency waves
and dramatic clicks

that allow these majestic
creatures to communicate

over immeasurable distances,

calling to one another in
their own mysterious language.

[WHALES BELLOWING]

They play.

[BELLOWING CONTINUES]

They warn.

They summon each other to safety.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

- [DOUGLAS] Maxine!
- [GASPS]

[CLICKS TAPE PLAYER OFF]

C-Coming! [SIGHS]

Sorry, just in another world
there for a minute. [CHUCKLES]

Thought you were going to the club.

Ah, well, I had a few minutes
to spare between meetings,

and I just wanted to
come home and see my girl.

- Oh.
- I wanted to, uh,

thank you for, well,
holding everything together

- and for getting us through the season.
- Aw.

Where did you get the
money for this? [GASPS]

[DOUGLAS] Listen. I...
[SIGHS] ... Douglas Dellacorte,

am now, finally, my own man.

And he just wanted to get his wife

a little something for her Beach Ball.

[GASPS]

Well, I don't know if there's
gonna be a Beach Ball after all.

[INHALES SHARPLY] Douglas,
we have a big problem.

- [DOOR SLAMS]
- [ROBERT] I thought you were my friend!

Robert!

- And I will never forgive you.
- Wh-What's happened?

And I had to find out through
some random cop instead of you?

Oh, no. Look... Look,
I... I can explain.

What the hell is going on?

[ROBERT] What's to explain?

That you let me humiliate myself?

Believe it was my fault he disappeared
when it was your f*cking fault?

[DOUGLAS] Whoa, man,
don't talk to my wife...

[ROBERT] Shut up, Douglas.

- [MAXINE] I never meant to hurt you.
- [GRUNTS]

He's a bad man.

Robert, he... he's an impostor, a fraud!

You are the fraud.

You and your spoiled baby
husband with those pink pants.

Everything about your life is a lie.

[MAXINE] I was trying to save
you. You have to believe me.

[ROBERT] You were
trying to save yourself.

And your husband, and
that stupid party of yours,

which I'm glad it's ruined.

And that nun, she was wrong.

That whale was karma
coming back to bite you.

Whale? What whale?

I'm sorry. [BREATHES SHAKILY]
I'm... I'm so, so sorry.

Drown in your lies.

- [BREATHING HEAVILY] Robert! I'm sorry!
- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

Norma! What in the heck
are you doin' out here?

Did your brake come loose again?

[GROANS] Norma, I'd never forgive
myself if anything happened to you.

[SIGHS, CLICKS TONGUE]

I need to bend your ear for a minute.

[SIGHS] Let me just...

Oh, Norma. [SIGHS]

I know I can be overprotective.

I'm always thinkin' for other
people, making decisions for 'em.

I need to let people live their
own lives and listen and trust.

Uh... Or you could have a
drink... [SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

Oh. That's a good idea.

[INHALES SHARPLY] You know,
my heart's in the right place.

I want the Beach Ball to be perfect.

Oh, Norma, if I could pull this off,

I could prove that it doesn't matter

that I couldn't give Douglas an heir.

[SCOFFS] I wanna save the Dellacortes!

But who am I kiddin'?

- My karma has returned in whale form...
- [GROANS]

... and I've been cursed by my friend.

I found Norma's whale.

[MAXINE] What do you mean?

Well, I found a bunch of her
love letters hidden in the closet.

Oh, not from Fitzgerald or Sinatra.

From Axel Rosenhips.

- Dinah's betrothed.
- [ANN] Mmm.

- He's from Cincin...
- [MAXINE] Cincinnati. Yes, I know.

- [ANN] He was the love of her life.
- [MAXINE SIGHS]

[ANN] They wrote letters every week.

But then when she was 16,

her father packed her off and
sent her to boarding school.

Never wrote him again, even
though he wrote to her for decades.

Norma, is this true?

I took away Robert's prince. Maybe
I can reunite Norma with hers.

- [GROANING]
- Come on, old gal. We're going to a party.

- [GROANS]
- [ANN] Do you mind if I stick around?

There's still a bunch
of stuff to go through.

You are a dog with a bone, Ann.

Well, I didn't get into
journalism to write,

"Suicidal Cetacean Spoils Soiree."

I wanted to write In Cold Blood.

Well, maybe we can use what you find out

to commemorate Norma's
life at the Beach Ball.

It's almost the same thing.

[CHUCKLES]

Are you not gonna drink this?

Uh, knock yourself out.

No!

[MITZI] Robert. [CHUCKLES]

What are you doing
here? I thought you quit.

I came to clean out my
locker and pick up my check.

Mmm. I'm quitting too. [CHUCKLES]

Moving to New York.

I need a fresh start. [SIGHS]

First a model, then a bar girl.

[CHUCKLES]

And now a stewardess?

Hmm?

Your bag says TWA.

Did Douglas get you a job?

[SIGHS] Oh, Robert. [BREATHES SHAKILY]

He gave me money to leave town.

I feel so dirty. [BREATHES SHARPLY]

I didn't know who he was at first.

I never meant to hurt
her. [BREATHES SHAKILY]

Oh, Mitzi.

- [CRYING]
- I'm so sorry.

[SNIFFLING]

Everything's gonna be fine.

[SNIFFLES, SIGHS]

Happy Axel's birthday!

Oh, gosh, he doesn't look a day over 75.

I am the one robbing
the cradle here. [LAUGHS]

Ready to weigh anchor, Mrs. Donahue?

Oh, uh, we're just waiting
on a few stragglers.

Where is Evelyn?

God knows she can use all the
free food and drinks she can get.

[MAXINE] Hi, Dinah. I can answer that.

Um, unfortunately, Evelyn
will not be making it tonight.

She is busy jubilating with my whale.

Maxine, not to be crass, but
you were not officially invited.

I'm not officially attending.

I'm merely accompanying Norma,

who is an old friend
of the birthday boy.

Hello, Norma. You look lovely.

That may be so, but Axel's not
in charge of the guest list.

- I am.
- Norma?

[GASPS]

You're here.

Yes! Norma came all because of me.

I invited her as a very
special, special surprise.

Surprise! [CHUCKLES, INHALES SHARPLY]

Why don't the two of you just get
reacquainted over here and just...

- [WHISPERS] Maxine.
- ... chat?

- Okay? Chat.
- [DINAH] Jesus! [GROANS]

You cannot stop yourself.
You are like an addict!

An addict?

Yes! You've bested me at every turn.

I cannot tell if you
are a country bumpkin

or the most ruthless
woman in Palm Beach.

[STAMMERS] I really want
what's best for everyone.

I do, truly, always and in all ways.

And this is how you do it?

You don't have to date an octogenarian.

- Nano.
- [EDDIE] Dinah!

- [DINAH] Oh, my God.
- Hey.

- Did you invite him too?
- No, I didn't, I swear.

[GROANS, MUTTERS]

But this could very well represent
another gift from the universe.

Don't do this. I love you.

Eddie, stop. What happened
to keeping your head together?

You're making a scene.

My only regret is not making
one sooner. Come down here.

- Go. Go. Go to him.
- You stop it.

Dinah, if you leave
now, it is over for us.

I'm not waiting one second longer.

You float away now, that
float away is forever.

No, no. No float.
No... No forever float.

Shove off.

- Shove off.
- [HORN BLARING]

[HORN BLARES]

♪ Mama said "Swim,
fishies, swim if you can" ♪

♪ So they swam and they
swam All over the dam ♪

[WHALE BELLOWS]

♪ Boom, boom, dittem,
dittem Wattem, chu ♪

♪ Boom, boom, dittem,
dittem Wattem, chu ♪

- [WHALE CHIRPS]
- [SIGHS]

Oh, and my mother used
to sing that song to me...

- [INHALES SHARPLY]
- [BELLOWS]

... when I was a little girl. [SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

In Albany, of all places.
Can you believe that?

[WHALE CHIRPS]

[SIGHS]

What's gonna happen to me?

[WHALE RUMBLES]

I'm scared. [SIGHS] I'm so scared.

[WHALE CHIRPS]

Now, why save these, Norma?

Hmm.

[KNOCKING]

[DELIVERY PERSON] Delivery
for Mrs. Maxine Dellacorte.

[STAMMERS]

Put 'em anywhere!

- All right! Thank you!
- Oh.

Ooh.

[SLURPS, SMACKS LIPS]

- Ahoy and cheers!
- [HORN BLARES]

Come back with us now to the
days when jitterbug was king.

Hit it, fellas!

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, Norma. Recognize this?

This was our song.

What happened to us?

We were in love, Norma.

And then, when you came home,

you just started treating
me like a stranger.

I've carried you around
in my heart 70 years.

Come on, Norma.

[CHUCKLES]

We're old now. You can be honest.

Are you in there?

No.

[EVELYN] I guess I pretty
much always felt that way.

[CHUCKLES]

God, I've been going on and on,

and I haven't asked you
anything about yourself.

- [WHALE BELLOWING]
- [SIGHS]

If only I knew what was going on
inside that gorgeous brain of yours.

If only you could tell me.

[WHALE CONTINUES BELLOWING]

- Mm-hmm.
- [WHALE'S HEART b*ating]

[MARY] I'm sorry about
your whale problem, Maxine.

Must be hard to k*ll
something of that size.

I didn't k*ll it, Mary.

Oh.

It's still alive.

Who knows for how long?

Today was my chance. [INHALES SHARPLY]

Couldn't save a whale,
can't save the Beach Ball.

I've never known you to
accept defeat, Maxine.

We're the same that way.

When faced with adversity, we persevere.

Where's my $75,000?

[PARTYGOERS] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday, dear Axel ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

[CHEERING]

[BENNY] Wow! Now,
that's something special.

I bet that even that old astronaut
that's orbiting the moon heard us.

- [LAUGHING]
- Now, I'd like to pass the mic around,

so that each of you can make a
little toast to the birthday boy.

- Uh, who'd like to get us started?
- I...

- [GRUNTS]
- [SIGHS]

I-I'd like to, um, say a
few words to someone special

who came into my life unexpectedly.

And on behalf of the
entire Dellacorte family,

I'd just like to say...
And I hope you can hear me.

[IMITATING WHALE CALL]

- W-What's going on?
- [MARY] I don't know.

[IMITATING WHALE CALL]

- [IMITATING WHALE CALL CONTINUES]
- [SIGHS]

[WHALE BELLOWS]

What? What's the matter?

- [WHALE BELLOWS]
- [GRUNTS]

- Did I say something wrong?
- [WHALE GROANS]

- Please, I... I didn't mean to upset you.
- [GROANS]

[WHALE GROANS]

W-Wait. Wh... Where are you going?

- [SOBBING] Please! Don't leave me.
- [BELLOWING]

[IMITATING WHALE CALL]

[IMITATING WHALE BELLOWING]

[RUMBLING]

Please. [SOBBING] Please come back.

No! [SOBBING]

Take me with you.

[IMITATING WHALE CALL]

Maxine, what the hell are you doing?

Saving a whale!

Bullshit! You're saving
your stupid party.

No, I'm not.

True, but before today
I didn't even know

these remarkable creatures
were even mammals.

That's right. That's
because they're reptiles.

No, they're not.

They're exquisite creatures.

Their... Their hearts are...
are 400 times the size of ours.

They can talk to each other over miles.

They are the only animals
that... that left the ocean

and started walking around on
land, and went back to the ocean

because they knew... [SIGHS]
... that's where they belonged.

[SIGHS] They are intuitive
and... and emotional.

They change their minds.

Thank you, Maxine.

What a wonderful, fun geology lesson.

That's right.

[DINAH] Everybody, let's dance.

- [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
- [PARTYGOERS CHATTER, LAUGH]

I know you.

From the club.

- I'm Evelyn.
- Eddie.

I tried to interest you
in my backhand swing.

- I was always more of a badminton girl.
- [CHUCKLES]

Have you been crying?

I just said goodbye forever
to someone very special.

Funny. So did I.

I'm sorry.

Will you allow me to
make an observation?

Yes.

Forgive me if this is
forward, but right now,

in this moment,

you look like perhaps the
saddest woman on Earth.

And also the most beautiful.

[SIGHS]

E... Eddie.

Yes?

Come and kiss me, Eddie.

[DOUGLAS] Thanks for
meeting me. [SIGHS DEEPLY]

Maxine wanted me to go to
this party with her, but I, uh,

I lied and told her I
had a business meeting.

[SIGHS]

I made a mistake.

A huge mistake.

But it's over, I swear.

Um, yeah, Mitzi said that.

[STAMMERS] She sai...
[GROANS, INHALES SHARPLY]

I got so drunk the night
of that casino thing,

and... and Mitzi was there and...

Next thing you know, she
started working at the house

and I couldn't have that. So I...
I had Perry get her a job. [STAMMERS]

She's a really good girl.

I want all of this to go away.

Yeah, she's a really good girl.

And your wife is an amazing woman.

I love my wife more than anything.

And if I lost her, I would be nothing.

You hold our fate in your hands, Robert.

[DOUGLAS] When I think of Maxine,

I... I think of that first
time we went up in my airplane.

The wind whipping her
hair around all crazy.

I love her, deeply.

And I think you and Norma
are fond of her too.

Well, maybe not Norma.

But she just needs some time to warm up.

Sometimes, to preserve
a long relationship,

you have to look past things a bit.

Well, I-I've never been in a long
relationship, so I wouldn't know.

Oh.

A little piece of advice.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

When you find your guy,

you're gonna realize that sometimes
you have to look past things a bit.

For the good of the relationship.

To protect the person that you love.

So, what do you say?

Can we all just move on?

Let this be water under the bridge?

[SCREAMS]

- [DOOR SLAMS]
- [OFFICERS CLAMORING] Nobody move.

- Stay where you are.
- sh*t!

- [DOUGLAS] What's going on?
- It's a raid.

You brought us to a h*m* bar? [GRUNTS]

- [GRUNTS] Get off me.
- [OFFICER] Come on.

[GASPING, PANTING] Help!

Wait!

Hey! Over here! Please! Help!

Help! Woman overboard!

[PANTING]

Help! [SCREAMING]

[INHALES SHARPLY]
You're all cocksuckers!

Every last m*therf*cking one
of y'all! [PANTING, SCREAMS]

[WHALE BELLOWING]

Thank you, Maxine.

You're welcome.

You're welcome.