03x01 - Episode 1

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Not Only... But Also". Aired: 29 November 1964 – 24 December 1970.*
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British sketch comedy show starring Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.
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03x01 - Episode 1

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

I'm sorry I thought you were my wife

no no no I mean I I didn't actually

think the dew of my wife I just expected

the chill be here

oh no well on the piano tuner you might

popped out she said she was going to see

a man who's got a dose of the flu oh I

see there's a lot bit about it oh it's a

lot of flu about end up it it's a lot of

bit about doing you just carry on

turning or care no I've got rather lot

of prep to correct oh yes you watch take

your elective mass yes I teased on the

local secondary modern yeah I couldn't

stand my let him off to Ann Arbor and

really use the night your fingers stupid

some about prepositions taken am

familiar with arrived do we have rather

different methods now are all the board

um well come on outside

oh I don't think I'll be but your wife

[Music]

language is attractive she was a very

artistic time well she was artistic

claim as well she did those flowers over

there as a matter of fact oh well she is

very artistic you know she does flowers

and fun musical that's really why we've

got this little piano in give us

something to do in the afternoon

yeah well my view is the empty house

boss whoever it is she always gets the

anchoring for a bit of extramural

activities yeah you multiply it safe

keep her in the ass I mean my wife has

all kinds of interests actually flower

arrangement pottery and she goes the

Wi-Fi plus WI what a sets down for the

Women's Institute Women's Institute all

right

funny I'll sort of rely on your wool

wool dollar e up there I saw it

Wednesday and Friday afternoon WR I

didn't think of Women's Institute

I've told Willie I have enough for

friend of mine you know no no sorry

Russian character plays have can a lot

of demon it's got these huge hands

fingers our cameras

[Music]

character because with the Romantics to

a wonderful soft touch she knows I was

there this place - Denise piano the

other day and apparently the other night

it was our way through a night on the

bear mouth in the sustaining pedal fell

right off

yeah funny that means initials been the

same as that early W always visits to

Philly a little too

Marjorie's places rocker Women's

Institute so D must think you're not

really hard enough your will he have

enough

arise sense of humor are we got laughing

yeah I remember reading along like my

ex-wife story every Wednesday and Friday

afternoon RSPCA your wife was an animal

lover butcher

she was an animal lover all right here

matter of speaking

sorry we see I turned out to be Rodney

Sidney Percy shipping and all lollipop

booth please simply ran off with him

[Music]

yeah I feel mary-kate billowing out

we are very happily married yeah well

the trouble with women now serve you

dead mommy thank you rob a lot Kenneth I

need a bit of variety you know one day

the light touch of a Mendelssohn next

I'm too big of a bite

[Music]

your unfortunate experience has any

relevance to mine yet the other night in

you sir we have a small wine and cheese

gathering yes yeah a bit of cheddar

stuff on your middle seat of twiglets

sticking out your sound off yeah and I

found it was a very pleasant evening

yeah picture you're driving around

dolphine topic me to the soul rhythms at

the Motown shop after very wasn't a

holiday party or just sitting about few

friends and they're dancing whatsoever

bet you're up at your watch off the

tractor but I actually looked at trading

Mack yeah yeah she look marvelous is

often and you've already told me that

yeah absolutely fantastic honor folks

who's gonna film from here rather than

guys Martha's she was all in Boots

microstrip see-through blouse Indian in

Jeanette bang my wife is wearing a

see-through blouse yeah wonderful gear

I've never seen her in one of those oh I

just escaping there's a surprise for you

on you the site of third nipples is a

few fruits here that's news to me

[Music]

Chickenfoot just one minute I'm

absolutely sure that my wife was wearing

this rather scintillating costume oh

yeah very melodic oh I see copy ill

mother-in-law's all right you never know

what could happen

to k*ll like that she must've gone out

the door throw another away

[Music]

actually I think I'll just give my

mother nor ring see how she is yes me

child all the men

well get better soon fine yes well she's

alive they're safe then she's still

there

I'll get it there no I heard her mother

Richard there he didn't actually speak

to Verity no I spoke to her mother who

said she reserved in English expensive

irritation no I spoke to another story

my mother-in-law used to bang my wife

are yourself every issue the wife or it

went down to him other than three loads

one not a find enough okay these are

except my mother-in-law sick now ours is

just going down to look under it go down

to Nikki Lurie coops weekly

[Music]

absolutely certain she will understand

why she's wearing this rather exotic

costume they'll see the big feet

next I'll just give her a ring because

I've got this meeting tonight

I'll tell us what time I'm gonna be back

hello MA

it's me again I was just ringing out to

see if you are any better than you were

two minutes ago and his son is Vera with

you I see she just left

[Applause]

yes well the she way re well I hope you

get better soon and what was she wearing

a beige coat I see and gray woman No

thank you very much that's all I want to

know I just hope you haven't got that

sort of blue that turns you blind which

turns you blind gives you a

hallucination so your house your people

are wearing good

[Music]

go to Papa I've got this a new team is

in saving HP just the National Union of

Teachers we're trying to get a pay

increase in to have everything you can

get thank you very much and perhaps

you'll inform my wife when and if she

returns exactly where I am a loser oh

and by the way

[Music]

of course he's got a meeting tonight

yeah for the Nu patient as he called it

see and something about getting the

right on this Union business your

husband what he does go down there

rather regularly yes I'm sorry

oh yeah oh by the way just before you

come in there little some phone calls

for your husband from who was it now in

UT natalie earth alone to Ryder

did they leave any message no no just if

they see you down at the Union and woody

bring a bottle very attractive mango

husband in a tight ass persisted a

temperament they're kissing that sparkle

in the art we're now looking at Rick all

that baby stuff start the failing

teacher wonderful belt and tie fell

betray others breaking of insane

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

mátalo be koala bear be wildly beast

spike milligan

ha tonight was to be a major

breakthrough in television I was to be

the first man through the full-frontal

knew unfortunately after an audition for

Lord Hill he said I hadn't got what it

takes so instead I will do a

demonstration of sensuous hug retie

accompanied by singes thing and is all

curry trim

[Music]

our nickname long with the castle park

and the month you don't say boo there's

a known ending with the peaceful ping

and the decent people to do harmony

untangle the mess book and you just

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

darn anything wrong with the console

park and the monkey guard say too little

it's not playing with the piece of

painting underneath of Jupiter bloop

funneling Jung Nang all the lessons like

you just can't catch up on the roof so

trimming on me late evening

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

I'm sorry I thought you were my wife no

no no I mean I didn't actually think the

joy of my wife I just expected the chill

be here

oh no well on the piano tuner you might

popped out she said she was going to see

her mother who's got a dose of the flu

oh I see there's a lot bit about it Oh

another flu about end up here it's a lot

of it about you just carry on and

churning or care no I've got rather lot

of prep to correct oh yes you are said

you were elected not yes I teased out

the local second remodeling yeah I

couldn't stand my mouth to Ann Arbor

angrily used to make your fingers stupid

some about positions taken I am familiar

with the rhyme do we have rather

different methods now rather bulwark

bumps well I'm out of time oh oh you

don't think I'm being impertinent but

your wife

[Music]

she was a very artistic time well she

was artistic kind as well she did those

flowers over there as a matter of fact

oh well she's done very artistic you

know she does flowers and fun musical

that's really why we've got this little

piano in give us something to do in the

afternoon

yeah well my view dimply a spot whoever

it is she always gets the anchoring for

a bit of extramural activities yeah

you've all know play it safe keep her in

the ass I mean you know my wife has all

kinds of interests there - the flower

arrangement Potter mg Joe the Wi-Fi the

lot W I would have said stand for person

Women's Institute Women's Institute all

right sorry I'll sort that rely on your

wool wool diary up there I saw it went

to the inn Friday afternoon popular I

didn't think of Women's Institute I saw

Willie I have enough for friend of mine

you know no I never met him no sorry

Russian character plays a piano lot of

demon it's got these huge hands fingers

are common there

[Music]

Oh wonderful character he's very good

with the Romantics - a wonderful soft

touch she knows I was there this place

tuning his gunner the other day and

apparently the other night it was our

way through an eye on the bear mouth in

a sustained in fatal fell right off

funny that means initials being the same

as that early W always visits to Philly

our little martyrius places rocker

Women's Institute so he must think

you're not william enough your will he

have enough

oh right sense of humor oh you gotta

love me yeah I remember reading along at

my ex-wife story every Wednesday and

Friday afternoon RSPCA your wife was an

animal lover was sure she was an animal

lover all right here manner of speaking

sorry the BCI turned out to be Rodney

Sidney Percy said we can offer lollipop

Ruth please keep clear an opening yeah I

feel mary-kate Phil on phonograph

we are very happily married yeah well

the trouble with women now surfy that

mommy sanctuary there are a lot Kenneth

I need a bit of variety you know one day

the light touch of a Mendelssohn

[Music]

unfortunate experience has any relevance

to mine yet get what
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