12x07 - Madonna: The Unauthorized Rusical

[bunniefuu]

[RuPaul] Previously
on RuPaul's Drag Race...

We're playing the Snatch Game.

[cheering]

-What's up, bitch?
-[all laugh]

Own it, baby! Own it!

I do not understand
the rules of the damn game.

[RuPaul] Brita.

It was just
one note that went nowhere.

[RuPaul] Aiden Zhane.

[Daniel] When you say, "I don't know,"

it's a full-stop dead end
for whoever's performing with you.

[RuPaul] Gigi Goode.

You landed all the jokes,
and I thought that was brilliant.

Con-drag-ulations. You're
the winner of this week's challenge.

-[applause]
-[queen] Yes!

-Brita, shantay you stay.
-Thank you.

Aiden, sashay away.

[screaming]

[dramatic music playing]

Back, back, back again.
[sighs]

-Oh, my God.
-[Jen] Aiden.

Dear Aiden,
my small-town sister girl.

[Brita] Oh.

"You may not know me now,
but you sure will later."

I know that she
had been feeling pressure

of some of the girls
coming at her,

but she has a personality.

It just didn't get to come out.

-I love Aiden. She stuck with it.
-Yeah.

[Gigi] She certainly did.

I'm proud of that bitch.

Once again...

you can just taste
the fakeness in the air.

We love you, Aiden Zhane!

-I love you!
-Love!

[Widow] Everybody wants to act like

they actually
gave a sh*t about Aiden.

You all wanted her gone.

[Heidi] My name is Aiden Zhane,
and I have one thing to say!

Can somebody tell me when this
turned into Best Friend Race?

Because back in Untucked, bitch, [scoffs]

I guess y'all had a lot to say,
but now you don't.

[Brita coughs]

[Jaida] Okay, so look, you all.

Untucked was f*cked up.

Feel like we got
a lot of unresolved issues,

but, child, it's over with now.

f*ck that bullshit.

Y'all gonna have to call me the umpire,

because, bitch,
I'm about to call these b*tches out.

I just have one question.
During Untucked,

Gigi, I don't understand
why you pointed out

that I haven't really improved
in makeup-wise.

You're a sickening performer,

but the judges have told you
week after week

that you have to improve
on your face.

It came out of nowhere,
and it was like, damn, bitch.

It came across very,
like, she's an ugly bitch,

and f*ck my drag
and f*ck my face.

Okay, well, first of all,
I never said you were ugly,

and I never would
because you're not. Okay?

Second of all, I regret the way
that it came out of my mouth.

Some of you
had brought up the fact

that you didn't understand
why you were in the bottom.

I was just pointing out
why they weren't seeing them,

and I know what you're about to say.

-I've never said--
-Listen, Heidi, I'm--

Go for it.

I've never said I didn't know
why I was in the bottom.

[Gigi] I really respect you
and what you do.

I respect you, but I lost
some respect for you today.

That's all I gotta say.

Okay. Well, I've spoken
my piece. I'm sorry.

I appreciate you spoke
your piece. Thank you.

-[Crystal] Oh, God, girls.
-[Jaida] Child.

It is what it is.
Like, I failed in the challenge.

I did not need y'all
to come in there

and s*ab a bitch in the back about it.

[Jackie] This is the challenge

that we had the most time
to prepare for.

[Widow] Yes, we f*cking know.

But sometimes, in the f*cking
moment, you can't be prepared.

[Sherry] You freeze up.

Y'all could have said it way differently.

Yes, I'm still in my feelings about it.

I'm gonna be in my feelings about it.

It is what it is.

[Jackie] I'm sorry that
we were poking you guys.

We shouldn't be kicking you
when you're down.

[Sherry] I apologize for anybody's
feelings that were hurt.

I hate a backtracking-ass
bitch. I really do.

Because now
they're trying to apolo-lie...

for what they said.

[Brita] Yeah, we can question each other

when you know that someone
could probably do better.

But we know that
when we should do that.

-The right time.
-[Brita] The right time.

Bitch, we haven't had
a dance challenge yet,

and I'm sure
we're gonna be dancing soon.

[Widow] And then I hope
you all feel the exact same way

that we feel that we're in the bottom
when you all don't do just as well.

Because when y'all fall, I hope
that somebody tears y'all down

just as much as y'all
tore us down. I'm sorry.

Oh.

[Jackie] He's saying that
I'm sorry for what I said

and the way I said it.
That means nothing to you?

You're like,
"Well, then screw you.

I hope you fall
in the next challenge?"

This ain't RuPaul's Best Friend Race.

At the end of the g*dd*mn day,

it's me, myself, and I.

And on that note,
I'm getting out of drag.

-Bye, y'all.
-[Jaida] Ooh, child.

[Sherry] Five, six, seven, eight.
Don't go on seven.

[Jaida] Well, that took a turn
for the wicked.

We couldn't just be
Best Friend Race

for the whole season, could we?

I'm really over today.
I'm... mmm.

[Heidi] Buckle up, b*tches.

It's about to be a bumpy-ass ride.

Love and peace for everybody.

[car engine starting up]

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

[RuPaul] The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race
receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics,

and a cash prize of $100,000.

With extra-special guest judges,
supermodel Winnie Harlow,

and Congresswoman
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪

Oh, good morning, good morning.

Good morning, Miss Goode.

[Jan] It is a brand-new day,

and I'm excited for what
the day's going to bring.

But things have changed.

There is a Jan-sition going on
in the workroom.

-Child, so I'm excited for a new day.
-Yeah.

Hey, the past is in the past. Let it go.

-[Jaida] Okay.
-[Brita] Ha-ha.

You can cut the tension
with a g*dd*mn butter Kn*fe.

Not even a warm butter Kn*fe.

Just a cold-ass butter Kn*fe.

Hello, hello, hello!

[cheering]

Ladies, there are all kinds of queens:

pageant queens, comedy queens,
ball queens.

But there is only one queen of pop.

That's Madonna, bitch.

[cheering]

[RuPaul] From her music
to her humanitarian work,

to her early support of AIDS
education and prevention,

Madonna has been a fearless
and unapologetic trailblazer.

[Jaida] I love Madonna.

The bitch is a vibe,
and she's always serving you,

like, raw energy, sex,

and just always
a f*cking fun time all around.

Now for this week's
maxi-challenge,

you get to pay tribute

as you star in
Madonna: The Unauthorized Rusical.

[cheering]

#DragRace.

A Rusical! It's here!

This is my favorite challenge.

I have a Rusical party
where me and my friends

just watch each and every
Rusical from each season.

But also, I'm a singer,
I'm a dancer,

so to be a part of it

and to think that I could
possibly win it is astounding.

[RuPaul] Now, each of you
will portray Madonna

from a different iconic moment
in her epic career.

[queen whispering]
Werk!

First, you'll be recording vocals

with the world's foremost
Madonna expert...

Michelle Visage.

[cheers and laughter]

And then you'll strike a pose

with a man who has choreographed
Madonna herself...

Jamal Sims.

-Oh.
-Oh.

Uh-oh.

I'm nervous this is gonna be
some intricate dancing.

Jackie, karma's a bitch, ain't it?

[laughs]

To help dress you up,

we've got hair
provided by Wigs and Grace

and heels provided by
Fierce Queen.

Yes!

There are several many
different Madonna parts,

and you get to assign the roles.

Gentlemen, start your engines,
and may the best woman win.

[Jackie] Come on, ladies,
pass out those lyrics, girls.

[Jan] Now is the time for us
to pick out our roles.

The catch is is that nobody's
in charge of assigning,

so we all kind of
have to listen to the song

and duke it out
and see who's gonna get what.

Let's go through the list, right?

[Crystal] Boy Toy Madonna?

I want Boy Toy Madonna.

-[Widow] Sexy Madonna?
-I really wanna do that one.

-[Brita] That'd be cute.
-[Jackie] So, Jaida, then it's yours.

[Crystal] What about Fempire?

I want Fempire number one,
all day, nothing else.

-That's the one I want.
-[Crystal] Okay.

Early Madonna?

Does anybody
really want Early Madonna?

[chuckles]

I feel like Early Madonna, Jan,

is, like,
you're the only one I think of us

could make that actually sound good.

Thank you, no.

I just don't wanna go first.

[Heidi] You get to open up the show, girl.

You've been saying
you wanna show us all up.

[clears throat] Yeah,
I'll sing my tits off.

All right,
I'll do Early Madonna.

[Jackie] So let's keep going.
Does anyone want, like,

the most current Madonna,
the Spoken Rap Madonna?

That's my number one choice.

[Jackie] Okay, Madonna Forever is Heidi.

Crystal seems like
Enlightened Madonna,

like, in her life to me.

[laughing]

Like, you are the most hippy-dippy
out of the rest of us.

I mean that
with the all the love.

-I'll take it.
-And I'll do Movie Star.

-[Jan] Cone Bra Madonna?
-I want that so bad.

-[Brita] I want it, too.
-Okay, so Brita and Gigi.

[Gigi] That's my number one.

Gigi really wants Cone Bra.

[whining] I really want
Cone Bra Madonna.

[Jackie] I mean, we may have to
rock, paper, scissors that.

Yeah, I can't--
I'm not doing Unapologetic.

I can't.
It's too high for me.

Ugh.

My question to you is

would you be willing
to do Unapologetic Madonna?

I know that the choreography
for this video is incredibly iconic.

[sighs] Okay.
Yeah, I'll do Unapologetic.

Okay, great, I'll do Cone Bra.

Final choices
locked and loaded, ladies?

-[Gigi] Yes.
-Locked and loaded.

[Jackie] Bitch, we're Madonna.

Some of you hos are in trouble.
[laughs]

I got my first choice.

-Hi!
-Hi!

It's time to record
the Madonna-inspired tracks

in front of Michelle Visage.

And I know Michelle

is the biggest Madonna fan in the world,

so I really gotta put
my Madonna spin on it.

Say hello
to our composer and producers,

David Steinberg
and Erik Paparozzi.

-[queens] Hi.
-So I hope you're ready.

Jan, let's start with you.

The rest of you take a seat.
You're doing Early Madonna.

Yes. I think the lyrics

speak to what I wanna do
in this competition.

I wanna win this challenge.

-Wow, she's hungry.
-Famished.

-[Michelle] Here we go. Good luck.
-Thanks.

Make Madonna proud!

♪ I wanna rule the world ♪

♪ I'm not your average girl ♪

♪ I wanna rule the world ♪

-[David] Nice!
-Good job, good job.

You sound fantastic.

Your high register is k*lling it.

Thank you.

Let's give the f*cking singer
the lead role at the beginning,

which means the rest of us
non-singing b*tches

gotta follow that sh*t.

You kicked it off right.

You all have
big Madonna shoes to fill.

Whose f*cking idea was that?

[Michelle] Now, Jaida,
you're doing Sex Madonna.

[Jaida] Yes, of course.

Okay, here we go. Hit it!

I made a video in Paris.

It was too hot for MTV.

Okay.

Okay, stop, stop.
Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

So, listen, this is Justify My Love.

-Okay.
-This is sexual.

Okay. [laughs]

Girl.

It's ironic that Jaida
is the trade of the season

and finds it hard to be sexy.

Maybe she's not the trade of the season.

Ooh! What if I'm the trade of the season?

[gasps]

[Michelle] Oh, girl, we gotta talk.

Jaida, listen, it's wanting...

-Yeah.
-Needing...

Feeling...

[whispers]
to justify my love.

-Whoo!
-Okay, here we go.

I made a video in Paris.

It was too hot for MTV.

[chuckles]

[whispers] You're welcome.

You got it, you got it, yeah.

Yes, Jaida, much better.

[cheers and applause]

And throw some autotune
on that, too.

[laughs]

[Michelle] Jackie Cox,
AKA Boy Toy Madonna.

Let's do it, Jackie.

♪ Rolling around in a wedding gown ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a boy toy, baby ♪

[Jan] Jackie, come on, now.

Find these notes!

♪ I'm a boy toy ♪

Cut!

Okay, so I think
you're being too cutesy.

-Okay.
-This was Like a Virgin.

-Uh-huh.
-This was powerful.

This was sexy instead of...

♪ Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee ♪

-Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
-Channel it.

♪ And all the little girls dress like me ♪

♪ Ah, ah, because I'm a boy toy, baby ♪

I don't know if Jackie
actually knows Like a Virgin.

You are not a virgin,

but you want someone to do you
as if you were a virgin.

♪ I'm a boy toy ♪

We do not have a lot of singers
in this group.

♪ I did Pilates
With some hotties in the aughts ♪

♪ In front of Timberlake
I kissed Britney and Christina-uh ♪

[off-key]
♪ I'm alive, ah-oh-ah-oh ♪

[all laugh]

Are you a singer, Brita?

I went to school for musical theater.

[Brita] Musical theater is my jam.

Bitch, I had a vocal scholarship.

And she became a drag queen,
she stopped singing...

[deep voice] because she sounds
like a man and not a woman.

Right. [laughs]
Okay, honey, here we go.

♪ b*llet bras are the way to go far ♪

♪ Thank you, Jean Paul Gaultier-- ♪

Paul, f*ck, sh*t.

Okay, let's just stop, hold up.

-This is Express Yourself.
-Yes.

This is my favorite
Madonna song of all time,

so it'd be really fun
if you could sing the deep part, too.

Oh, and I can.
She got that voice.

Let me hear it.

[deep voice] ♪ I should have been
Born one myself ♪

[David] Just go down at the end.

♪ Should have been born one myself ♪

♪ Should have been born one myself ♪

All right, here we go. Let's try it.

♪ But gay men are the ones
Who intrigue me ♪

[deep voice]
♪ Should have been born one myself ♪

[laughs]

Oh, you want
some more of these low notes, sis?

[deep voice] ♪ LGBT ♪

[laughs]

Whoo! That was great.

Ha!

[Michelle] Hi, Gigi.

So you are
Unapologetic Madonna.

-Uh-huh.
-All right, here we go.

♪ Haters criticize my blonde ambition ♪

♪ Double standard
Is it 'cause I'm a woman? ♪

-Try to articulate a little bit more.
-Okay.

You're giving me
a little Patti LuPone

with not really hearing
the words go into one--

You're not gonna get
that reference because you're young.

Who's Patti LuPone?

I know the name.

Ooh, I'm sorry.

♪ Making art isn't easy, but it's what-- ♪

Oh, f*ck.

That's all right,
that's all right, keep going.

[Brita] Gigi is seeming nervous
at the microphone.

Her hands are shaking and a-wobbling,
trying to touch that headphone.

♪ So you can get into it ♪

Breathe.

[laughs]

I can see your nerves
just creeping in on you.

-[shudders]
-Shake it off.

All right, let's do it again.

Am I seeing a weak spot in Gigi?

Because I haven't seen it
all season until now.

-Hello!
-Hey, hey, hey, ladies!

[Widow] Y'all know what time it is?

Because I know what time it is.

It's time to go get this chor-e-og-raph-y.

So the b*tches that were like,
♪ I'm a singer ♪

well, guess what, bitch?

♪ I'm a dancer ♪
[laughs]

I'm Jamal Sims.

I will be your choreographer today.

[cheers and applause]

One thing I know
about working with Madonna

is that she don't play.

So we can't f*ck this up, all right?

We gotta represent.

Let's pick up our fans
by Daftboy,

and we'll start from the top.

So we're gonna start here.

One, two, three, four.

I'm gonna turn,
five, six, seven, eight.

Snap that Daftboy fan, all right?

And make sure that this line
is a line, right?

It should be here,
knee should be to the front.

I cannot do that with that cut on my knee.

Let's try this.

Let's see it, let's see it.
Here we go.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I just hurt my knee
the first challenge, so--

You did, really?

[Widow] In the first challenge,

when I did my slide split
across the stage,

I busted my knee open.

So the fan choreography on the
ground going down to one knee...

is painful than a m*therf*cker.

I mean, I can do it.

I just need to switch knees
or I need a kneepad

or I'm gonna just bleed
all over the place

and we can just make it do
what it does.

Let's do a different version
for you, all right?

So instead of the knee,
we're gonna do a sit.

Turn five, six, seven, sit.

Great. So we'll be
watching for the knee

through this whole performance.

If there's anything that feels
uncomfortable, let me know.

But the show must go on, right?

[exhales]

[Brita] It seems to me

that Widow has trouble
rolling with the punches.

I mean, I understand
your whole leg is cut up,

but also that was challenge one,

and that sh*t
should be healed by now, sis.

Like, why are you complaining?

All right, so who's ready
to get their individual choreography?

[cheering]

Yeah? All right, Jan,
Early Madonna...

-Yep.
-...is very jazzy, right?

So we're gonna get
these hips swiveling.

I want one, two, hips, hip.

Wow. Now grapevine.

Lay out,
and wow, wow, hmm, pop.

-And snap that at the end, okay?
-Cool.

[Brita] Jan is k*lling it.

This is what Jan does.

Try it one more time.

She went to a very expensive
musical theater school,

and, like, this is really
a time for her to shine.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

[Brita] Jan also sometimes thinks
that she's better than other people,

and sometimes you gotta check that bitch.

Five, six, seven, eight.

-Great.
-Yeah.

Who's my-- Who's next up?

Jacqueline.

I'm Like a Virgin Madonna.

[Jamal] Yes! We're going
to the floor,

-all right?
-[Jackie] Okay.

But we're pumping when we do it.

Oh, oh, oh, okay.

-Yeah, yah.
-[Jackie] All right.

-Okay.
-[Jamal] All right?

And then from here,
we're gonna go back, back, together.

-Uh, great.
-Yeah?

[Jamal] Go one, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

Pump, one, two, go three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

We need sex from Jackie.

Right now
it's feeling ver-y ro-bo-tic.

-[Jamal] So push the ass back.
-Okay.

Uh-huh.

Right now you're pumping forward.

[Jackie] Okay.

-Wow.
-[Jackie] Okay.

-Sexy.
-[Jamal] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Oh, yeah!
-Feel it, feel it, feel it!

-Feelin' the sex!
-[laughs]

Jackie needs work.

Gigi, we're gonna do a chug,

and Madonna's famous for this.

One, two, three, four,

then five, six, seven, eight.
All right?

Five, six, seven, chug. One...

-Oh, f*ck--
-That's all right.

Right knee first?

Aah!

[Jamal] One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

-Oh!
-You look terrified.

-[Gigi] I am very terrified.
-[Jamal] Relax.

-Just do that part.
-Okay.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

-Oh!
-It still feels...

You know,
it feels like that, right?

[Heidi] Miss Gigi, it's okay.

You know, I'm here for you.

I'm gonna give you a break
from being in the top.

You know, we all need to rest.

Get into the groove right there, okay?

Okay.

This is my moment. Let me have it.

Thank you very much.

[Jamal] Heidi, Heidi, Heidi, ho!

We're gonna go
one and two, three and four.

Step out, in, step out, in.

[Jamal] Uh-huh.

Class is in session. All right.

So it's bah, bah, bah.

Bah, bah, bah!

-Whoo!
-[Sherry] Oh, yes, girl!

-Get mad at it, get mad at it!
-Grrrrr!

[Jamal] Get mad at it.
All right, here we go.

And giddy-up,
and step, step, turn.

Pop it, wah, wah, wah.

-[Widow] Hey!
-There we go.

Great job, Heidi.

We're gonna Roger Rabbit.

-Ooh!
-Yes!

One, two, three, four.

-All right? So--
-Mm-hmm.

[Heidi] Brita, you really
just had to fight Gigi

for this Cone Bra Madonna,

and you were in the bottom two last week.

So you've really got to step
your Madonna p*ssy up now, girl.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,

[Jaida] Girl, sh*t.

[Brita] I'm pumping and humping,

and I'm doing something to the air.

I don't know if it's a Roger Rabbit.

[Jamal] One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

-[all laugh]
-Yes, Brita!

[Jaida] Brita is over here

Roger Rabbiting all the way wrong.

Ooh, ooh, nah, bah, bah.

Mama, no.

[Jamal] One, two, good, three, four,

cross, five, six, seven, eight.

[all laugh]

Don't defeat yourself
before you've done this.

Okay.

Don't think that you can't do it.

You're still in the game.

I'm praying to Madonna right now,

just asking for help with these moves.

Because I am not going anywhere.

I hope. [laughs]

[upbeat music playing]

Category is Madonna!

Bitch, we're Madonna!

[Jan] Today is the day

that we're going to be doing
our lip sync performance

of Madonna: The Unauthorized Rusical.

-I think your vocal sounds so good.
-Thanks!

I was feeling
really good in rehearsal.

I got to sing, I'm opening the musical.

I finally feel like this is the one.

This is the challenge
that I'm going to win.

Is anybody nervous?

[Brita] I'm nervous because
I've been in the bottom three times.

I hope that I'm at least safe.

I have to represent for New York City,

so I need to show them the Brita

that everyone in New York City
knows and loves,

and I'm glad I have
another chance to do that.

Madonna didn't have a beard.

[Jackie] I think there was a phase
in her career that she had a beard.

Thinking about Truth or Dare,
which featured all of her q*eer dancers,

and that there weren't other artists

really highlighting
the LGBT community.

[Heidi] The reason why
I really appreciate Madonna

is all the work she's done
for HIV and AIDS and all that.

[Brita] Oh, yeah.

[Heidi] I actually had an uncle,

he passed when I was young from HIV.

It was hard, because he was--

he really made me feel like I belonged,

and made me feel like--

[Sherry] Was he a guncle?

He was a guncle, yes,
he was a fabulous guncle,

and I miss him so very much.

My uncle was the very first person

I felt a really good connection with.

He wasn't well for a long period of time.

I would be the one to run
and get his medicine

and bring it to him so he'd be okay,

and then just one day
it was over, and it's just...

It was hard losing him,
because it was right around the time

I started getting bullied
at school.

-So it was just--
-[Sherry] So you didn't have--

I no longer had that
blanket of security that he gave me.

I don't have the best relationship
with my father at all.

[Sherry] Crystal,
you have a good relationship

with your father, right?

[Crystal] Yeah, I'm
really close with my family.

That's part of the reason
why I haven't moved out of my small town.

That's so amazing.

[Crystal] In doing drag, him and my mom

love to go garage sale-ing
and find me props.

[queens] Aw!

And a few years ago, my father
was diagnosed with Parkinson's.

-Oh!
-[Crystal] Yeah.

So it's been affecting...

It, like, all has been
happening really fast.

So just watching him,
like, lose mobility

and, like, not be able to,
like, sit up and stuff

for long periods of time
has been really hard.

Every time I leave the house,
I usually drive away crying.

Um...

I don't know how to put into--
[crying]

He's, like, literally been my superhero

and taught me how to do everything.

And that's why I'm so crafty.

He was, like,
a construction worker,

so, like, him not even
being able to, like,

do things with his hands
anymore--

Like, my mom doesn't cook.

He cooked every meal.

And, like, he can't even,
like, you know, use a Kn*fe.

So, you know, it's a bummer.

[Crystal] I just worry about him
and think about him,

and... you know,
I just wanna make him proud.

[Widow] Let's rally around our sister.

Thanks, babe.

Don't cry too much, bitch.
You can't mess up your face.

Don't cry too much.

[Gigi] Crystal is somebody
that just reminds me so much

of some of my really
close friends back home.

And I think it's been
such a short amount of time

since we've all been together,
but we've built a family.

And families fight,
and families get over it.

I hope that people can forgive and forget,

because for as long as
we do have each other,

we are all that we have.

Her mole is on the left or the right?

-[Sherry] Right.
-[Jan] The right.

Anybody got that tooth paint?

Got our gap tooth on?

I already got my gap ready.

Keep up, ladies.

Team gap. Ting.

[upbeat music playing]

["Cover Girl" by RuPaul playing]

[RuPaul laughs maniacally]

♪ Cover girl ♪

♪ Put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe ♪

♪ Let your whole body talk ♪

♪ And what? ♪

[judges clapping]

Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Michelle Visage.

Now, there's an urban legend that Madonna

once sent you a cease-and-desist letter?

[laughs]

What's the tea, girl?

Okay, no cease-and-desist,

but back when I was in Seduction,

her label called my label and said: "Look,

if your girl is gonna try
to steal Madonna's look,

the least she can do is do it well."

[gasps] Shade!

-But you know what, Ru?
-[RuPaul] Huh?

All I heard was,
Madonna knows who I am!

[all laugh]

Style superstar Carson Kressley,
truth or dare?

-Uh-- Truth.
-[RuPaul] All right.

How old are you?

How dare you?

[all laugh]

A model who's always in Vogue.
Winnie Harlow.

I'm ready to strike a pose, Ru!

[laughs]

And a ray of light
in the U.S. Congress,

Representative
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

It's a dream come true
to be here, Ru.

We are so happy to have you.

Now, do you have
a favorite Madonna song?

Why, "True Blue", of course.

Ahh. This week,
we challenged our queens

to get into the groove

and pay tribute
to the iconic Madonna.

And tonight on the runway,

category is:

Night of a Thousand Michelle Visages.

-What?
-[all laugh]

[RuPaul] That's right, Michelle Visage.

[echoes] This is your life!

Oh, my God!

Gentlemen, start your engines,

and may the best woman win.

Presenting our very own girly show,

it's the world premiere

of Madonna: The Unauthorized Rusical.

Madonna X is a lover.

Madonna X is a mystery.

[all laugh]

Madonna X is an Uber driver.

But sometimes she drives for Lyft, too.

[Jan] In 1984, on American Bandstand,

-d*ck Clark asked me...
-Madonna, what's next?

♪ I wanna ♪

♪ Rule the world ♪

♪ I wanna rule the world ♪

♪ Rule the world ♪

♪ Crucifix ♪

♪ Don't shave my pits ♪

♪ Rule the world ♪

♪ I want to rule the world ♪

♪ Rule the world ♪

♪ Gonna grab it by the balls ♪

♪ Shared a name with my mother ♪

♪ She d*ed when I was five years old ♪

[RuPaul] I love it!

♪ Turn the hurt around ♪

♪ Knew I was destined for something more ♪

♪ With a name like Madonna ♪

♪ I could be a saint or a sinner ♪

♪ So I started dancing ♪

♪ Won't stop till I'm a winner ♪

♪ Rule the world ♪

♪ I wanna rule the world ♪

♪ Rule the world ♪

♪ I'm not your average girl ♪

♪ Rule the world ♪

♪ I wanna rule the world ♪

♪ Rule the world ♪

-Yay!
-[applause]

♪ I know exactly what I want ♪

♪ The groove is calling out to me ♪

♪ So I became my own icon ♪

♪ I own MTV ♪

♪ Rolling around in a wedding gown ♪

♪ A dirty blonde with a sexy mole ♪

♪ Just like Marilyn ♪

♪ I had material goals ♪

Ahh, ahh.

♪ Because I'm a boy toy, baby ♪

♪ And all the little girls dress like me ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a boy toy, baby ♪

♪ And all the others are just wannabes ♪

♪ I'm a boy toy, and I ain't gonna stop ♪

♪ I'm a boy toy ♪

♪ Call me a boy toy ♪

♪ Because I'm the one on top ♪

♪ Call me a boy toy ♪

♪ I'm a boy toy ♪

[laughter and applause]

My next album went platinum fast,

and so did I.

♪ Critics don't know what to make of me ♪

♪ Am I real art or publicity? ♪

♪ My music videos stir up controversy ♪

♪ Haters criticize my blonde ambition ♪

♪ Double standard
Is it 'cause I'm a woman? ♪

♪ I'm gonna express myself ♪

♪ And you'll pay more than attention ♪

♪ I want more than attention ♪

[cheers and applause]

♪ Defying old taboos ♪

♪ Unapologetic ♪

♪ Because sex is power, too ♪

♪ Making art isn't easy ♪

♪ But that's why I do it ♪

♪ So you can get into it ♪

♪ Unapologetic ♪

♪ Did I make you stare? ♪

♪ Unapologetic ♪

♪ Now kiss my derriere ♪

♪ Making art isn't easy ♪

♪ And I've got the scars to prove it ♪

♪ So you can get into it ♪

[all laugh]

Hello, fellas!

Love who you love.

You know there's
more than one way to play.

♪ b*llet bras are the way to go far ♪

♪ Thank you, Jean Paul Gaultier ♪

♪ Pinstripe suits can be subversive ♪

♪ But listen to what I say ♪

♪ Leading men and Latin studs ♪

♪ I love them like nobody else ♪

♪ But gay men are the ones
Who intrigue me ♪

[deep voice]
♪ I should have been born one myself ♪

[all laugh]

♪ God bless the gays ♪

♪ God bless the gays ♪

[deep voice]
♪ LGBT ♪

[all laugh]

♪ God bless the gays ♪

♪ God bless the gays ♪

[deep voice]
♪ GMHC ♪

♪ More than an African ♪

♪ We weren't too serious ♪

♪ I wound up stronger and stronger ♪

♪ Like a prayer does in water ♪

♪ Like a prayer ♪

♪ God bless the gays ♪

♪ God bless the gays ♪

[deep voice]
♪ God bless the children ♪

♪ God bless the gays ♪

♪ God bless the gays ♪

[laughter and applause]

So after dressing you up in my love,

there was only one thing left to do:

take it all off.

I made a video in Paris.

♪ Oh-la-la ♪

It was too hot for MTV.

[all laugh]

So it became the first VHS single.

Now when pop stars
shake their cakes on Instagram,

I say, "You're welcome."

Posing, disrobing,

opposing for you.

As I...

♪ Must define my brand ♪

Girls and boys kissing, censors hissing.

As I...

♪ Must define my brand ♪

Whips, bare nips, not just the tips.

-Whoo!
-As I--

♪ Must define my brand ♪

I'm seductive, not reductive.

I'm erotic, you're neurotic.

Because I...

♪ Must define my brand ♪

Because I'm what?

[whip cracks]

Whip smart.

[all laugh]

♪ I never wanted to be an actress ♪

♪ I thought I'd stick to music ♪

♪ But I was desperate-ly
Seeking something ♪

♪ And then Sean gave me
Shanghai Surprise ♪

♪ And a ring ♪

♪ Some people wondered, who's that girl ♪

♪ I was just breathless over d*ck ♪

♪ Tracy ♪

♪ Though I knew that I was ♪

♪ In a league of my own ♪

♪ A league of her own ♪

But what I really want to do is direct.

Cut, print, moving on.

[laughing]

[RuPaul] Oh!

♪ There comes a time ♪

♪ In an artist's career-reer-reer-reer ♪

[laughing]

♪ When she decides to seek God ♪

♪ And put it in
Her songs-songs-songs-songs ♪

♪ I took myself first-class ♪

♪ On a journey-ney-ney-ney ♪

♪ To find a higher power
And live my life in awe ♪

♪ I'm alive ♪

♪ Don't care, don't care ♪

♪ I'm alive ♪

♪ Don't come too near ♪

♪ I'm alive ♪

♪ Don't care, don't care ♪

♪ I'm alive ♪

♪ Hippy-dippy, trippy song ♪

♪ A Kabbalah sing-along ♪

♪ Won a Grammy ♪

♪ For this song-ong-ong-ong ♪

[man] You go, girl.

Yes, God!

[laughs]

-[RuPaul] Hey!
-Whoo!

[whooping]

♪ Hey, lady pop stars
All hail the queen ♪

♪ Welcome to my Fempire ♪

[RuPaul cheering]

♪ After two decades in the biz ♪

♪ Now I can do whatever ♪

♪ Dress up like a pimp, uh ♪

♪ Talk like a Brit ♪

♪ Things that used to get me banned ♪

♪ Are emulated across the land ♪

♪ Blaze new trails for others like me ♪

♪ You're welcome, Gwen Stefani ♪

-[all laugh]
-Whoo!

♪ All the girls go gaga for my grills ♪

♪ While I make it rain with my bills ♪

-[Michelle] Hey!
-[RuPaul] Oh!

♪ My power isn't fake ♪

♪ And in front of Timberlake ♪

♪ I kissed Britney and Christina ♪

♪ And I liked it, Katy Perry ♪

[all laugh]

♪ Hey, lady pop stars ♪

♪ All hail the queen ♪

♪ Welcome to my Fempire ♪

-[RuPaul] Whoo!
-[Michelle] Yeah!

All right.

♪ I'm still in the groove, yeah ♪

Oh, bitch, I got this.

♪ Redefining the moves, yeah ♪

Don't be an ageist.

♪ I did Pilates with some hotties
In the aughts ♪

♪ Then took to the dance floor ♪

♪ Wearing pink for my confessions ♪

♪ Got hung up Super Bowl
Hard candy and Malawi ♪

♪ Said bye to guys, thank God
I'm single and not sorry ♪

♪ My eighties ladies ♪

♪ Have all come and gone ♪

♪ Whitney, George, MJ ♪

♪ Moonwalked on ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I still grow because
I'm M-A-D-O-N-N-A, bitch ♪

[all laugh]

♪ Sixty years, and I keep topping ♪

♪ Ageist if you think I'm stopping ♪

♪ Classic looks,
But kids keep mocking ♪

♪ I'm M-A-D-O-N-N-A, bitch ♪

♪ Beyoncé, Gaga, Ariana ♪

♪ Girls, I still be here mañana ♪

♪ Sexy, not afraid to flaunt it ♪

♪ I'm M-A-D-O-N-N-A, bitch ♪

♪ Yes, I'm still Madonna ♪

♪ f*ck your sexist drama ♪

♪ When you hate it's just kablama ♪

♪ Don't preach, 'cause I'm your mama ♪

♪ I'm M-A-D-O-N-N-A, bitch ♪

♪ Compose-pose-pose ♪

I think the most controversial
thing I have ever done

is to stick around.

♪ Compose-pose-pose ♪

Okay, here we go.

All Madonna, spit a flow.

♪ Compose-pose-pose ♪

♪ Like a Virgin, Like a Prayer ♪

♪ Cherish, True Blue, Truth or Dare ♪

♪ d*ck Tracy, Drowned World Tour ♪

♪ Live to Tell, now Who's that Girl? ♪

♪ Express Yourself, Material Girl ♪

♪ You got 4 Minutes to save the world ♪

♪ Open Your Heart, Don't Get Hung Up ♪

♪ Papa, Don't Preach, I'm Burning Up ♪

♪ Living for Love, I'm Madame X ♪

♪ Into the Groove, a book called Sex ♪

♪ I'll Remember, so Don't Tell Me ♪

♪ Physical Attraction for Dear Jessie ♪

♪ Beautiful Stranger, Crazy For You ♪

♪ Sorry, hydrangea, I still loathe you ♪

♪ Girl Gone Wild, Rebel Heart ♪

♪ Causing a Commotion,
and that's just the start ♪

♪ Compose-pose-pose ♪

♪ From Holiday to Medellin ♪

♪ When it comes to pop
I'm still your queen ♪

I'm M-A-D-O-N-N-A, bitch!

[cheers and applause]

[Alexandria] Amazing.

["Superstar" by RuPaul playing]

Category is
Night of a Thousand Michelle Visages,

AKA Joyce Leslie on parade.

[all laugh]

First up, Jan

in Glamazonian Airways Michelle.

-[laughs]
-[Carson] Yes!

[Michelle] Wow, she looks hot!

[RuPaul] Fly me to the moon.

[Winnie] Come on, Tits McGee.

[Jan] I am giving you

one of my favorite
Michelle Visage memes.

Meh.

And I am nailing this head to toe.

I have the hat,
I have the earrings, I have the scarf.

[RuPaul] Honk if you miss
Michelle Visage's old boobs.

-[Michelle] Honk, honk!
-[Winnie] Honk, honk!

[Jan] I love this look.

[RuPaul] How's your overhead...
storage?

Haven't had any complaints.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Jackie Cox
in All Stars Michelle drag,

representing South Plainfield, New Jersey.

[Jackie] This is classic Michelle Visage.

She's coming from
the Garden State Plaza Mall,

and she's ready to slay.

Yes! Oh, my gosh,
she has the lightning bolt ring.

[Jackie] The girls are up and out,
and of course, to top it off,

classic Michelle Visage nails.

[RuPaul] Oh, I remember this outfit.

[Michelle] Do you?

[Carson] I had almost forgotten it.

Thank you very much, Jackie Cox.

[RuPaul] Gigi Goode.

S.O.U.L. S.Y.S.T.E.M. Michelle.

-[Carson] Wow.
-[Winnie] Give me body!

[Carson] Stun-ning.

[Michelle] My body looked just like that.

[all laugh]

Yes!

[Gigi] I have chosen something

that I know not a single one
of these b*tches thought about:

blonde Michelle Visage

from her Lovely Day music video.

I'm feeling like my full fantasy.

It is a Lovely Day today on the runway.

[Carson] You still have
those nails, don't you?

[Michelle] I do. They're in a jar.

[all laugh]

[Michelle] Nailed it!

[RuPaul] Brita, Season 10 finale Michelle.

[all laugh]

[Michelle] Who's that
behind those Foster Grants?

[RuPaul]
Oh, that's Michelle Visage!

[Michelle] Yes!

[Carson] Or Urkel.

[all laugh]

[Brita] What I love doing
is hosting a show,

and this was a look

that Michelle hosted
the Season 10 finale in.

It is such a gorgeous gown,

and I'm here to spread the joy, bitch.

[RuPaul] Vasail Massage.

[Michelle] That's me.

[RuPaul] Jaida Essence Hall,
All Stars Icon Michelle.

Yes!

[RuPaul] Oh, my God, Michelle,
you're always subtle.

[Michelle] Like Coco Chanel said,

when leaving the house,
take one thing off.

In my case, it was my shirt.

[Jaida] I love this look.

I got all the spiked-out jewelry,

the girls are sitting out nice and ripe.

I'm looking like a hardcore bad bitch,

like Michelle herself.

[RuPaul] I need to remind you
that this is a mother of two.

[all laugh]

A mother of two.

[Michelle] Two breasts.

[RuPaul] Sherry Pie,
Kitty Girl Michelle.

[all laugh]

[Michelle] My custom Marc Jacobs.

[RuPaul] Yes, Well, she got
the choreography down.

[laughs]

[Sherry] I'm walking down the runway

feeling my Michelle Visage
Kitty Girl fantasy.

We have a big bun braid thing,

we got glasses for days,

and we got that good,
old-fashioned choreography

that she was doing.

[RuPaul] You look like one
of the June Taylor dancers.

[Michelle] I do.
Me and Arthur Murray go way back.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Crystal Methyd.

-Oh!
-Oh!

Here we go!

[RuPaul] RuPaul Show,
Lady in Red Michelle.

[Michelle] 1996, Ru.

[RuPaul] Yeah, it's just like yesterday.

[Crystal] When I found
this picture online,

I immediately fell in love
and knew that I had to do it.

The hair is so cute.

I really hope that it brings back
some nost--

nostalgia...

[laughs]
for Michelle.

[RuPaul] I bet you still have
that outfit, don't you?

[Michelle] I have that jacket, yeah.

Listed now on Poshmark.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] The Widow Von'Du,

RuPaul Show,
Starry, Starry Michelle.

[Alexandria]
Love this red, white, and blue.

[RuPaul] Yes, well,
she did it for her country.

[Widow] My look looks like an outfit

that I wore
when I first started doing drag,

with orange hair
and a red pleather onesie.

I just like it 'cause also my titties

are smushed in it like a can of biscuits,

so I'm definitely giving you

that Michelle vibe with the titties.

[RuPaul] That's when Michelle

was trying to join the Spice Girls

as Old Spice.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Heidi on the set
of TOWIE Michelle.

[Michelle] Oh, my God.

-[RuPaul] Dug deep for this one.
-[Michelle] Yes!

[Michelle] Y'all right, babes?

Y'all right?
Y'all right, babes?

[Heidi] I chose this look
because it's a little eloquent,

and I like to think of myself
as, you know, she's a lady.

[RuPaul] Michelle's huge in the UK.

[Carson] Or at least her bun is.

[Michelle] Yeah.
My bun's always huge.

[all laugh]

Welcome, ladies.
I've made some decisions.

Now, when I call your name,
please step forward.

Jan.

Gigi Goode.

Crystal Methyd.

Jackie Cox.

Heidi.

Brita.

Ladies, you represent the tops
and the bottoms of the week.

Sherry Pie, Jaida Essence Hall,

the Widow Von'Du.

You're safe. You may leave the stage.

Ladies, now it's time
for the judges' critiques,

starting with Simply Jan.

You were Early Madonna.

-Yes.
-[Michelle] Your voice was amazing.

You sounded like a pop star.

And I think all of the choreography
was borderline perfect.

-Yes!
-Oh, "Borderline".

That was a "Borderline" joke, everybody!

And tonight
on the runway, this is fantastic.

It was already drag.

-[Jan] Yeah, girl.
-And you made it draggier.

You bring
this polish to your look

that I think really should be something

to be proud of tonight.

Thank you so much.

Just being able
to do what I love

for all of you is amazing.

[RuPaul] Oh, one last question.

Can your breasts be used
as a flotation device?

Absolutely, if you pull hard enough.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Up next, Jackie Cox.

You came straight out of the Tristate area

with this runway look.

I love it.

It's bold, maybe borderline, um--

-Tacky?
-Tacky, yes.

Trashy? Whoreish?

You nailed it!

[Michella] Out of everybody,
you have every single detail nailed,

down to the nails.

You had the corset nailed
that I had painted,

the lightning bolt,

and you're the only one
who has the mole.

[RuPaul] Gigi has a mole.

-Put your glasses on, Michelle!
-[Michelle] I did!

Let's see. Moles up,
everybody, moles up.

[Carson] Now everyone has the mole.

[all laugh]

[Carson] When you came out
in the wedding dress,

I just felt it was
a little bit more restrained.

There was
an extra oomph that was just missing.

We wanted more.

It seems as though
there's an uncertainty,

and there's no reason
for you to be uncertain.

You are right exactly as you are.

Just share you with us.

Thank you.

I do have to say
it is-- aah!

Crazy to meet you.

[laughs]

[Jackie] Seeing you working in Congress

and in solidarity with Congresswoman Tlaib

and Congresswoman Omar

gives me so much hope for our country.

My mom immigrated here from Iran,

and people would tell her to go home

and go back where she came from.

And when I was young, I hid...

this part of my heritage for so long.

She's an American citizen now,

and seeing you standing up
for people like my mom

gives me so much hope.

I'm so thankful
that your mother is here

and part of our country.

Thank you.

Thank you.

[RuPaul] Up next, Gigi Goode.

You sold every moment
of your performance,

because you were just actually
living what you were singing

and connecting with the judges.

I really feel as though
you embodied Madonna,

that energy, the most.

You look amazing.

I didn't think it could get
any more supermodel

until you walked out here
in a freaking bikini.

I thought, is that my new competition
in the modeling world?

Oh, my God!

This was really fun to see,
down to the nails.

And now that you have the fake ones on,

imagine doing anything with them.

How did you wipe?

[all laugh]

Just to inform everybody,
you don't wipe with your nails,

you wipe with your fingertips.

What? Really?

So the toilet paper
goes around, and you scoop.

The more you know.

[all laugh]

-Up next, Brita.
-Hi.

[Michelle] I think what happened
with you, Brita,

is when you did mess up here and there,

it kind of threw you off.

On the runway, however,
this happens to be

one of my favorite gowns
I've ever worn.

[Winnie] I love how it fits you.

It fits you
just like it fit Michelle.

The structure, the glasses.

[Michelle] But I did wear a drop earring.

I'd never wear a button.

Yeah, I know you did,
and it was beautiful.

It's a pretty simple look.

It's glasses, earrings, and the dress,

and now the earrings
are kind of taking us away

from how great all the rest of it is.

Up next, Crystal Methyd DeBarge.

♪ To the b*at of the rhythm of the night ♪

Hi.

I thought your
Madonna Rusical number was

funny and quirky.

You kind of sang the reverb
on all of those chorus moments.

Was that something that you came up with?

I thought it would be fun.

I know that I'm not, like, a singer,

so I wanted to try and play up
the funny as much as I could.

As someone who cannot sing
herself, I totally get it.

And I love the hair-ography,
so great job.

Thank you.

I absolutely love this look.

I love the hair. It's giving me life.

You did a great job tonight.

-Thank you.
-[Michelle] I'm really proud of you

and your uptick that you're on.

[Crystal] Thank you.

Don't fall back.

I won't.

Up next, Heidi Ciccone.

[all laugh]

Hi.

Your performance was amazing.

You gave us the chaturangas,
the vinyasas, the B-girls.

You really rose to the occasion.

But what was
kind of missing was Madonna.

She would poke through, and then go away.

Tonight on the runway,
I'm glad you did a recent one.

I don't know how you ended up
choosing this one.

You know, I was just scrolling
on the social medias and whatnot.

-[laughs]
-The medias.

I think the only issue
for me would be the hair.

It was more textured,

because I don't want it to look
like a globe on my head.

Chica, she has
a little buoyancy to her.

[laughing]

What's in the middle?

Hairspray and desperation.

I've been there.

Well, thank you, ladies,
I think we've heard enough.

You may leave the stage.

All right, now,
just between us Madonna-bes,

what do you think? Jan.

Jan has a beautiful voice
and she knows how to use it,

but more importantly,
she embodied Madonna.

Her runway look, the makeup was perfect,

the clothes were perfect.

[Alexandria] The details
really brought both characters to life,

and I think
she did a fabulous job.

[RuPaul] Jackie Cox.

Jackie Cox
had a very polarizing night.

The Rusical performance,

I say to myself all the time,
I wish it was bigger.

[laughs]

How she was playing it
was more innocent and coy,

and that wasn't this Madonna.

The runway, though,
was the flipside of that.

It was really impressive.

[RuPaul] Gigi Goode.

She is such a superstar.

She did a back handspring in heels.

Then she did lifts.

Then when she was in the air,
she did, like, a round-off.

She was that badass Madonna

that girls look at and say,

"I wanna be that
when I walk down the street."

I am obsessed with Gigi.

She gives me supermodel vibes.

[RuPaul] I love
that Michelle Visage look.

It was a simple look,
but my God, she pulled it off.

Let's move on down to Brita.

In her Madonna moment,

she was representing
that Gaultier-era cone bra.

That's all about, like, domination

and it just didn't have
that feeling for me.

[Alexandria] She did get in her head,

but I just really love

the joy that Brita brings.

[Michelle] Tonight on the runway,
the gown was wonderful and smooth,

but the earring were completely off

and it changed the look a little bit.

You're absolutely right, you know.

The devil is in the details,
and those things do matter.

Crystal Methyd.

As Enlightened Madonna,
she was really silly.

Like, her head popped up,
and it was just kind of funny.

We're really getting to know her
at this point in the competition.

The more she reveals of herself,
the more we're charmed by her.

She was kind of giving me
Madonna as Bianca Del Rio

or Bianca Del Rio as Madonna.

[RuPaul] Heidi.

She has
oodles and oodles of charisma.

-Mm-hmm.
-[Michelle] Great dancer.

But I didn't get any Madonna-isms at all.

And especially with
some of the gags that she had,

you know, the underwear peek-a-boo moment

she could have really hammed up.

And then tonight on the runway,

I love that she chose the TOWIE look,

but it just got a little skewed.

Her performance, her charisma,
it was all there.

It just had no relationship
to Madonna or Michelle Visage.

Because if you squint,

they're pretty much the same.

-[all laugh]
-They are.

Silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my material girls.

[RuPaul] Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Jan,

tonight you ruled the world.

You are safe.

You may join the other girls.

[Widow] I know Jan wanted to win this.

Like, y'all didn't see her face
when she turned around,

but I saw that.

You know like the scary movies

where the serial k*ller
finally just, like, snaps

and just starts
tearing faces off?

Hon-ey, she is upset.

[laughs]

Crystal Methyd.

I feel like you just got home-home-home.

[all laugh]

You're safe.

Gigi Goode.

I've made up my mind.

I'm keeping you, baby.

Con-drag-ulations.

You are the winner
of this week's challenge.

[applause]

Thank you.

You've won a cash tip of $5,000.

Oh, my God, I just won
my third challenge.

That's nuts to me.

You may join the other girls.

Jackie Cox,

you nailed your Michelle,

but your virgin wasn't shiny and new.

Brita, you are a joy,

but tonight you didn't
fully express yourself.

Heidi, tonight in the Rusical

you got the moves and the motion,

but your Madonna
didn't cause a commotion.

Jackie Cox.

You're safe.

[exhales]

You may join the other girls.

Thank you.

[RuPaul] Brita and Heidi.

I'm sorry, my dears,
but you are up for elimination.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me

and save yourself...

[echoing] from elimination!

The time has come...

to lip sync...

[echoing] for your life!

[Brita] This is my third time lip-syncing.

What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna
leave it all on the stage.

I'm here to fight. I'm a fighter.

Good luck,

and don't f*ck it up.

["Burning up" by Madonna playing]

[laughs]

♪ Don't put me off
'Cause I'm on fire ♪

♪ And I can't quench my desire ♪

♪ Don't you know that
I'm burning up for your love ♪

♪ I'm burning up
Burning up for your love ♪

♪ I'm burning up
Burning up for your love ♪

♪ I'm burning up
Burning up for your love ♪

♪ For your love ♪

♪ You're always closing your door ♪

♪ Well, that only makes me
Want you more ♪

♪ And day and night
I cry for your love ♪

♪ You're not convinced
That that is enough ♪

♪ I'm burning up
Burning up for your love ♪

♪ I'm burning up
Burning up for your love ♪

[Widow] Come on, girl!

♪ I'm burning up
Burning up for your love ♪

♪ For your love ♪

[RuPaul] Whoo!

♪ Oh, do you wanna see me
Down on my knees? ♪

♪ Or bending over backwards
Now would you be pleased? ♪

♪ Unlike the others
I'd do anything ♪

♪ I'm not the same
I have no shame, I'm on fire ♪

[panting]

[laughs]

[Heidi] I am not going home.
I can't afford to go home.

I'm giving you some dance moves,

my skirt's riding up,
you can see my girdle.

I don't care.

It's a cute girdle. I paid $10 for it.

♪ I'm on fire ♪

♪ Oh, yeah
I'm burning up for your love ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah, I'm burning up ♪

♪ Come on, come on ♪

♪ I'm burning up, ooh, yeah ♪

♪ I'm burning up ♪

[laughing]

♪ You know you got me
Burning up, baby ♪

♪ You know you got me
Burning up, baby ♪

♪ Burning up for your love ♪

♪ Burning up for your love ♪

[cheers and applause]

[breathes deeply]

[RuPaul] Ladies, I've made my decision.

[exhales]

Heidi, shantay you stay.

[exhales]

Thank you.

You may join the other girls.

Brita, thank you for the joy
you bring to everything you do.

Now sashay away.

Thank you so much for everything.

This is a dream come true.

[applause]

[Brita] I love you all so much!

Love you.
Some bitch had to go!

I love you so much.

I'm gonna leave this.
You Brita werk, bitch!

-[all laugh]
-Yes, honey!

[all laugh]

[cries]

[exhales]

[Brita] I'm a little sad.

I'm kind of, like,
playing it off like I'm happy,

but this is just the beginning,
you know?

First New York, then Drag Race,

and then the world.

So I'm gonna go spread my joy, sis.

I'm gonna give everyone
that joy, that joy, that joy.

[laughs]

[RuPaul] Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

And remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell
you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

-Amen!
-Amen!

All right,
now let the music play!

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Red, white, and blue ♪

-[Michelle] Look how beautiful they look!
-[RuPaul] Gorgeous!

♪ Just like you, too ♪

[RuPaul] Next time,
on RuPaul's Drag Race...

[RuPaul] You need to create a product

for a new drag queen lifestyle brand

we're calling droop.

-Action.
-Jackie's Magic Carpet Merkin.

-[laughs]
-Oh!

[laughing]

My revolutionary
throat-coating spray--

Oh, forgot the next line.

f*ck me.

Your whole infomercial was thought out.

Oh, my God.
She's hella funny.

I needed a whole lot more funny,
because I know what you can do.

This entire time I haven't won challenges,

and I haven't been crying about it.

Ooh, honey!

[cries]

♪ I am American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪

♪ Am-Am-Am-Am-American
American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪