06x08 - Drag Queens of Comedy

[bunniefuu]

- Previously
on "rupaul's drag race..."

I am launching my first-ever
makeup line,

And I need you to market it.

You'll be working in pairs.

- We're too busy painting
our own faces instead of theirs.

- A sickening sweep of blush
helps distract from
unsightly scars.

- Bendela, we're hiding
behind another costume.

I have no idea who you are.

Laganja, the crotch
is a little low.

Your hair is uneven.
It's flopping.

- We've got, like,
a little sister vibe going.

She's the little sister.

- I'm the low-rent version
of courtney.

- I may have used
that term once.

- Adore and laganja, you're the
winner of this week's challenge.

Darienne lake, shante, you stay.

Bendelacreme, your time here
is not over.

Shante, you stay.
- Yeah.

- Whoo-oo!

- Oh, whew.

- Well, that was something.

I'm glad we didn't have
to go home.

- Me, too.
I have no words.

I'm so scared that I came
that close to leaving so soon.

[Sighs]

Well, I thank everyone
who gasped in the background

When I didn't look like
I was staying.

Appreciated that.

- I was gonna cause a riot
if she sent you home.

I was like, "no,
you've made the wrong decision."

[Record scratches]

- Are you not gonna congratulate
adore and i?

Do you think that we didn't
deserve to win as a team?

- I didn't think that
you should have won.

- I'm sure many
of my competitors

Felt that adore carried me
for this win,

But at the end of the day,

She's standing
in an '80s sweater
and a skirt from forever 21,

And I spent a lot of time
on my look.

- Party.

- Joslyn, I mean,
you're being very quiet.

What's going on?

- Tonight in the silver lounge,
courtney read my look.

- I just think that your drag
isn't as polished

As the other drag
in the competition right now.

- Do you guys really feel like
I shouldn't be here?

- No, no, no, not at all.
- I think you deserve
to be here.

- I do feel that
the look tonight

Wasn't ex*cuted as well
as the vision in your head,

But if you want anything,
I got a whole box full of sh*t.

- I've got a whole rack
of things.

- I've been doing drag
for 13 years,

And I'm not being mean;
I'm just being factual.

But I didn't mean it in any way
to hurt her feelings.

I don't want you to think
that I was saying

That you weren't deserving
of being in the competition.

- I think because I have
such a big respect for you,

It makes me feel bad
about myself.

Like, I need you to understand,
like, that hurt me really bad.

Nothing else has hurt me since
I've been in this competition

Than when you told me
that I looked unpolished.

- If you need any help
or anything,

I'm just trying to offer a hand

Because I would like to see you
do even better.

- No, and I appreciate you
offering me help, but I just--

I can't help but take it
as patronizing almost.

- Well, I mean, I guess it is
a little bit.

- At this point, I don't know if
I look up to courtney as much.

This is not about
making friends.

Now it's game on.

[Engine starts]

- ♪ "Rupaul drag race" ♪

- The winner of
"rupaul's drag race"

Receives a sickening supply
of colorevolution cosmetics

And a cash prize of $100,000,

With extra special guest judges
bruce vilanch and jaime pressly.

- ♪ "Rupaul drag race" ♪

♪ May the best woman,
best woman win ♪

[Tire screeches]

- Come on, cloud 9 realness.

- Yeah.

- I'm still here.
- Yay!

- I am really excited
for a new day,

A new challenge,
a new chance to prove myself.

- And then there were 8.
- Again.

- Ok.
You can roll your eyes, mama.

- Okay, you know what?
I'm not your mama.

My name is bianca.

Laganja's feeling her fantasy.

"Yes, fierce. Yes, mama.
Blah, blah, blah."

I'm over it.
Thank you, jesus.

[Shemail alert wails]

- Ooh, girl.
- Let's roll, mama.

- You've got shemail.

Hey, you crazy characters.

- Now, to become america's
next drag superstar,

Just do you, but be careful,

Because if you do you too often,
you might just go blind.

It's not funny!

- This one's got me stumped.

- Hello, hello, hello.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Now, america's
next drag superstar

Has to look sickening
from every angle.

So for today's mini challenge,
you'll be lip-synching

Upside down
and lying on your back...

- Oh, god.

- Which I'm sure
you've all done before.

- [Laughter]
- okay.

- [In singsong voice]
oh, scruff pit crew.

- [Grunting]

- Where are they?

Oh, they're only 20 feet away
from my current location.

[Laughter]

- Oh.
- Oh.

- Well, hello.

- Using the materials provided,

You'll need to drag up
your chin...

- Ah!
- Like it's your face.

- Yay. Ha ha!

- Ready, set, go.

First, bianca del rio.

- All right.

- Chin up, bianca.

- Ha ha!

- Hit it.

- ♪ I'm fed up
with a stupid world ♪

- ♪ Where's my dummy g*n,
sh**t 'em up ♪

♪ Bang, bang, bang ♪

♪ I say we forget the noise ♪

♪ Take 'em one by one ♪

♪ Get it done,
hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ High society,
better when we're left alone ♪

♪ The hypocrisy, saying that
you will but you won't ♪

♪ The audacity, tell us
that our love is wrong ♪

♪ Get your rebel on ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh,
so stand up ♪

- Trinity's chin
looks like vivacious.

It's so funny.

- ♪ How you want to love
and raise your voices ♪

♪ Sing a battle song,
a revolution get your rebel on ♪

- [Laughter]

One of you stood out
by the hair piece on
your chin-y chin chin.

Joslyn fox.

- Yay!
- [Applause]

- Condragulations,
the fox that rocks.

- Thank you, ru.

- Now, ladies,
for today's main challenge,

You'll be performing a good
old-fashioned comedy show,

Hash tag dragqueensofcomedy.

Each of you needs to write
and perform a stand-up comedy.

- Hurricane bianca's in town.

No one is safe.

- Now, joslyn, since you
won the mini challenge,

You get to pick the order
of the lineup.

Now, I want you to use your
charisma, uniqueness, nerve,

And talent to tickle
my funny bone.

- It's right here
where my rib used to be.

[Laughter]

- So, gentlemen,
start your engines,

And may the best woman win.

- All right,
let's do this, ladies.

- All right,
"courtney is an assh*le."

Oh, my god,
that's a guaranteed laugh.

- Ha ha!

- Are there two r's
in your name?

- Why, are you making jokes
about me?

- No, I'm just making a list
of all the girls

So I can think about the order
I'm-a put you all in.

- So here's what you do, joslyn.

You put bianca on first,

And then whoever you want
to throw under the bus
you put second.

- Ha ha!

- Then you put me second last
and you last.

- That's just shady.

Yesterday you were suggesting
that her drag was ugly.

Today you're telling her
how to do a lineup.

- Yeah, isn't that funny?

- You are a shady c**t.

- Love you, joslyn.

- [Mouthing words]

- Dela's really freaking me out
right now.

This bitch is
talking to herself.

I was like, "bitch, I thought I
was the crazy one up in here."

- What do you have, bendela?

- Um, I think that
I'm gonna go with

Something that's sort of more
a blanket personal narrative.

- Ha ha!

Knee-slapper.

- Coming up...

- I get to decide the order
the girls perform in.

First up, opening the show...

[Engine revs]

- Ha ha!

[Bell dings]

- Ha ha!

- Today we're getting ready for
our stand-up comedy routine

In front of a live audience.

This is definitely
one of the hardest challenges

Of the competition so far.

- Adore, are you
gonna write material,

Or are you just gonna
write a card for guidelines

Saying "cool, awesome, chola,
my mom, libra?"

- "Party."
- "Party." Ha ha!

- f*ck off.
f*ck all the way off.

sh*t.

- So what are you gonna do, jos?
Have you got any ideas?

- When I wait tables,
like, that's, like,

My opportunity to be
a stand-up comedian,

So I'm always cracking jokes.

If somebody orders
a jumbo shrimp cocktail,

I'll say, "I hope
you're not allergic."

And they'll say, "to what?"
And I'll say, "to an oxymoron."

Jumbo shrimp.

- Pregnant pause.
Pregnant pause.

- Ha ha!

- I know that stand-up comedy

Is not my cup of soup--

Cup of tea--cup of--
bowl of what?

Cup of tea.

This is not my cup of tea.

Ha ha!

- Where did--
where did laganja go?

- I don't know.

- Laganja, are you here?

Oh, oh, well.

- Yes, girl. Ok.

- I love it.
She's under the table.

- How y'all doing?

- Oh, let me get more attention

Like the big "no-smoking"
sign on my head.

Let me get under a table.

Really, queen?

- My name is
miss laganja estranja,

But you can call me
miss mary jane,
little miss 4/20,

Or for my latin folk
in the audience, la marijuana.

- I think in this competition

You have to stand out
and be a bold character.

This is the perfect challenge
to showcase laganja.

Honey, I am gonna give you
stoner realness.

Now, girl, if it ain't green,
well, girl, I'm not interested.

- I need a transition.

- The judges say that
I'm hiding behind a character,

But I think laganja
is maybe the person

Who's actually afraid
to be exposed right now.

- How you doing, dela?
- Oh, I'm plugging away.

How are you?

- Girl, I'm just trying to,
you know,

Remember what it was like
to be in a tent

And just, you know, really
channel that inner child.

- Ok.

- This person is not the laganja
that I know,

And it's freaking me
the hell out.

- Ok?

- Hello, hello, hello.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- How are my drag queens
of comedy?

- Hilarious.

- Yuck-a, yuck-a, yuck.
Ha ha!

Hey, dela.
- Hi, ru.

- Now, last week
you were in the bottom two.

- Yes, I was.

- Do you feel a lot of pressure
to bounce back from all that?

- I definitely do, yeah.

I was really devastated
to be down there.

- What are you
the most nervous about?

- I, you know, don't have
zingy one-liners.

I consider my humor
to be very character-based.

- You know, there was
the note from michelle

That she didn't know who you are
because you do a character.

- Yeah.
- But on an emotional level

That that wasn't coming through.

- But I also feel like this is
the perfect challenge for me

To have the opportunity
to do that.

- Well, I look forward to it.
Get back to work.

- Thank you, ru.
- All right.

Well, hello, miss bianca.
- Hi.

- Everyone's looking to you
to be the standout
in this challenge.

Does that make you nervous?

- Concerned, yeah.

- But you're very funny.

- But for me,

It's more observations
and in the moment,

And I don't do well
with sitting down

And writing, "here is a joke."

- Now, in the past, you've
actually helped a lot of queens
in this competition.

- Yeah.
- Who's helping you out?

- Well, they're all
helping me out

By being horrible
and making me look better.

- Ha ha!

- And I'm not just
a nasty c**t.

I will help them pack
to go home.

- Ha ha!

- I mean, you don't even
got to fold

Some of the sh*t
they're wearing.

You just ball it up.

"Put that in bag number 5,
bitch.

Get to stepping."

- All right, see you out there.
- Thank you.

This challenge is really a sh*t
or get off the pot moment,

So let's hope I can deliver
a nice, big turd.

- Trinity k. Bonet,
hey, mama.

- Hi.

- Have you ever done stand-up
before?

- No.
- Do you know any jokes?

- Um...

I can't tell you exactly
what it's gonna be right now,

But when I feel like, like
I have a magnifying glass
over me or something,

That's when it gets hard.

- I know what you're capable of.

In the last challenge,
your comedy came out,

But it's interesting that
almost by habit you shut down.

- I don't know.

It's just almost something
I can't control.

You just--
you are who you are.

- I know that
there's a block there,

And so that's for you to unlock.

Don't let the moment
pass you by.

All right, trinity,
I'm counting on you.

- Ru is counting on me to
deliver something that he
know damn well I can't do.

- All right, ladies,
gather round.

To prove that your comedy
has a broad appeal,

I've invited a senior citizens
group to join us.

Yes, they will be sitting
front and center.

- I told you it was gonna be
an old-fashioned comedy show.

Make 'em laugh.

- Anyone close to me knows
that c**t, bitch, f*ck,
damn, sh*t and ass

Are my favorite words to use.

Ha ha! I'm f*cked.

- Gentlemen,
start your engines...

And may the best woman win.

- So is anyone curious as to
the order I've put us all in?

- Ooh, yes.
- Oh, god.

- Because I won
the mini challenge today,

I get to decide the order
that the girls perform in
for the comedy show.

Ok, now, first up,
we will be opening the show

With none other than
the incomparable darienne lake.

- Yay!
- Yay!

- Following darienne
is courtney act.

- Joslyn is
a shady little character.

Ha ha!

She's dumb like a fox,

But because
I'm following darienne,

I have to make sure
that I'm very funny.

- And courtney will be
introducing our third performer,

Adore.

- Yes.

- Following adore
will be miss bendelacreme.

- All right.

- And then in our fifth slot,
it's laganja estranja.

- Ooh.

- After laganja will be
miss trinity k. Bonet.

- Following trinity will be the
funniest girl of the whole bit,

Ms. Joslyn fo--
oh, that's me.

- [Laughter]

- And then closing the show

Will be the oldest
of all the queens,

Miss bianca del rio.

- Let's hope I can stay awake
till I go on.

- Coming up...

- I know we got some old people
here in the audience tonight.

Yeah, did you guys
all come together on the ark?

[Engine revs]
- ha ha!

[Bell dings]

- Ha ha!

- I am sparkle toss.

- It's comedy.

- Today we have to do
a stand-up routine

In front of a live audience.

I've never done one, let alone
in front of the elderly.

For me, this is the toughest
challenge thus far.

It's gonna be rough.

- So josy jo-sticks,

Do you have any old people
that you relate to?

- I'm very close
with my grandparents,

And they've always been
very supportive of me.

- Oh, that's cool.

- And my grandfather was,
you know, always my biggest fan.

- Aw.

- And I remember, he had read
about a broadway star.

She was up for her first tony.

Then she overheard some
of the other nominees saying

How big of a joke she was

And that she didn't deserve
to be nominated

And there's no way
she was going to win.

And she said she got
really down on herself

And went back out there
completely feeling defeated,

And then she won the tony.

I remember him bringing me
that article and saying,

"You can be that same person.
You have what it takes."

This is kind of like my f.u.

To all the people who thought
I couldn't succeed in it.

And I just--i can't wait
to hear what he has to say,

'Cause I know he'll be prouder
than anyone else.

- Oh, that's nice.

- Bianca, you have
any worries at all?

- I don't f*ckin' know,
you know.

- What's your worst nightmare
of going out there?

- My worst nightmare is sitting
next to you like we are now.

- [Gasps]

- [Laughter]

- You're, like, evil nice.

Like, what's with that?

Like, you can't hate you
'cause you're helpful

And you're sweet,
but you're truthful,

But you're a d*ck.

- Now, if you'd said this
on day one,

I would have been your friend.

It's amazing we get this close,
and you're leaving today.

- What?

- Ha ha!

- I f*ckin' hate you.

- Ha ha!

♪ Cover girl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe
let your whole body talk ♪

And what?

Welcome to the main stage
of rupaul's chuckle hut.

- [Laughter]

- L.o.l.,
It's michelle visage.

- The fierce flower
is clearly in bloom tonight.

- Ha ha! My favorite straight
man, santino rice.

- Ha ha!

Blooming gorgeous, ru.

- Comedy legend, bruce vilanch.

- I'm gonna come over
and pollinate you.

- Ha ha!
I thought you'd never ask.

And jaime pressly.

- Hello.

- How can one person
be so beautiful and so funny?

I'm talking about myself.

- Clearly.
- [Laughter]

- J.k., Miss thing.

We are so happy
to have you here.

This week
we challenged our queens

To put on a good
old-fashioned comedy show,

And boy, are my arms tired.

- [Laughter]

- Gentlemen, start your engines,
and may the best woman win.

The drag queens of comedy.

- [Cheers and applause]

- Hey.
My name is miss darienne lake.

I like to say miss
'cause it lets the boys
know I'm single, you know.

- [Laughter]

- Of course, my 14 cats

And my appearance
on "hoarders buried alive"

Might also let them know
I'm single.

- [Laughter]

- I asked my mother,

I'm like, "mom, how did
I end up so twisted?

Like, did you, like, drop me
on my head when I was a baby?"

She was like, "honey, you have
to be held to be dropped."

- [Laughter]

- I am here representing
all the big and curvy girls.

- Hey.

- I'm trying to get in shape.

I mean--well, round
is a shape, you know.

- [Laughter]

- At the gym, I'm like a ninja.

You will never see me there.

- [Laughter]

- I know we got some old people
here in the audience tonight.

Yes, how y'all doing?

Yeah, did you guys
all come together on the ark?

- [Laughter]

- Tell noah I said hello.

- As you may have all gathered
from my accent, I am from idaho.

- [Laughter]

- I'm kidding.

I'm from australia,
land of kangaroos,

Land of olivia newton john,

And throwing all the shrimp
on the barbie.

- Yeah.

- Well, what if I don't want
shrimp thrown on me?

I want to look fishy,
not smell fishy.

- [Laughter]

- So I moved to america
recently.

I moved to west hollywood,

And I've written a little bit
of a song

About some of the people
that I've met there,

And I'd like to sing it
for you now.

[Clears throat]

♪ They'll take you down
with just one look ♪

♪ They hunt in packs,
they don't read books ♪

♪ Injectable tans
and no tattoos ♪

♪ Too young for botox,
got nothing to lose ♪

♪ They're the mean gays,
they live in west hollywood ♪

♪ They're the mean gays,
well, they would if they could ♪

♪ I'm a mean gay,
well, you would if you could ♪

♪ I might look nice
but do think twice
before you take me on ♪

- [Cheers and applause]

- Thank you.

- Hi. You're probably wondering
why I look like a mexican katy
perry right now, aren't you?

My mother is a chola.

Do you guys know
what a chola is?

Can I get a show of hands?

Yeah, we're in l.a.,
m*therf*cker.

Yeah. My mom's a chola,
and she likes big cock.

Ok, no, yeah.

I was really scared when I heard
that senior citizens

Were gonna be in the f*cking
audience tonight, ok?

Just blame my f*cking grandma
because she likes to go to t.j.

And get work done,

So I never grasped the concept
to respect my elders.

The bitch never ages.

She has a fake ass
and a fake hip,

And I'm pretty sure the ass
came first and broke the hip,

So I don't know what the hell
she's doing.

But anyways,
my grandma's a whore.

No? Cool.
It's my first time, people.

Ha ha! You guys having fun?

- [Cheers and applause]

- I'll mow your lawns later.

- My name is bendelacreme.
Hold for applause.

'Kay.

And I'm delighted to be here
with a live audience.

I love it when there's people
just right in front of me,

And I can feel like I can just
reach right out and touch you
if I wanted to.

I don't want to.
Don't worry about that.

But I feel like I could
if I wanted to,

Which is a great option to have.

I'm far away from my home town
of seattle, washington.

It's the city that never dries,

But, you know, it's--
rain is not so bad.

It is a moist area,
but it's my moist area.

And I love it.

A lot of people come there.

You just need to wear
the right protection, you know.

There's a lot of stereotypes
about seattle-ites,

But they're really just regular
folk, extremely regular folk.

You know, caffeine--
all in line for the restroom.

We love a good rest,
but, um--i digress.

The point is I feel like
I've learned to sort
of weave a story,

Bring somebody on an arc
that really ends somewhere

Where they feel like the whole
thing's been meaningful,

And they're gonna wind up
with something that made
the whole thing worthwhile.

- So tell us a joke.

- Um, good night, everybody.

- [Scattered applause]

- Wow.

[Engine revs]

- Ha ha!

[Bell dings]

- Ha ha!

[Engine revs]

- [Cheers and applause]

- Hey, hey, hey, hey,
put your lighters up.

Ganja's in the house.
Yeah.

As you could tell
from my accent,

I am from dallas, tex-ass,

And it was not very easy
growing up looking like this,

Whether I was playing
in my grandma's clothes

Or putting on a show
for my well-organized,

Alphabetically-ordered
beanie babies.

I was ga-ga-ga-gay, ok?

But it wasn't until
I moved to los angeles

That I discovered marijuana.

I mean, I like to smoke.

Y'all, I am just flying as high
as your receding hairline, ok?

Marijuana really does
help me calm down.

So, y'all, I went to valencia
where they film the
tv show "weeds."

Now, y'all, it's very dry.

It's almost kind of like
your vag*na.

Can I get a amen?

Now, y'all, I am a tree hugger

Because if it ain't green,
ha, I'm not interested, ok?

- [Scattered applause]

- Get up and show me some love.

Come on, get up.

Show me some love.
Get up.

I got on all this sh*t,
all this drag.

This stuff is hot.

Thank you.
Thank you.

This ain't easy.
I'm not a comedian.

So, go on, sit down.
Sit down. Sit down.

Sit down. sh*t. sh*t.
Sit down.

So if you all have not
already noticed,

I am black, but don't be
worried, you know,

You don't have to hold on to
your purses and your wallets.

I already got 'em.

- [Laughter]

- Growing up for me
was really hard

Because we were really poor.

We were, like,
"good times" poor.

It was really, really bad.

And the only way we had
the opportunity to eat

Was, my mother would read us
recipes from a cookbook.

- [Laughter]

- And, oh, how I got full
many nights

Off of the roast beef
on page 27.

- [Laughter]

- But a really unfortunate thing
happened.

My sister caught
a ear infection,
so she starved to death.

- [Laughter]

- I really grew up a lot
with my grandmother.

I stayed at
my grandmother's house,

One, because she was just
a sweet lady,

And two, because she had food.

But she had this really crazy
obsession with her bills,

And it was the light bill
in particular.

Everything involved
the light bill.

"Stop running around my house
like that.

You gonna run my light bill up."

- [Laughter]

- "Stop flushing that toilet
so much.

"You gonna run
my damn light bill up.

"Stop breathing so much.

You gonna run my light bill up."

I just feel like I can be myself

And just let my hair down
with all of you people.

- Oh!
- [Laughter and applause]

- Good times.
It's a party.
It's a party.

Yes.

- You know, I've suffered
from adhd all of my life.

It's a constant struggle
every day.

- Aw.
- Ooh, look, a rhinestone.

- [Laughter]

- But I'm always getting sh*t,
you know.

"Oh, you're so skinny.

Why don't you
just eat something,"

Or, "eat a cheeseburger,
you skinny bitch."

And all I want to say is, "well,
then give me something to eat.

I'm f*cking starving."

So I've got a little theory
going here.

Ever since I've come to the show
and I met rupaul,

I have a little theory here.

I'm gonna run it by you.

I've seen rupaul in the workroom
out of drag.

I see rupaul here on the runway
as a drag queen.

Never in the same room
at the same time.

Both rupauls--same person.

Pretty sure I cracked the code.

Just saying.

- [Cheers and applause]

- I am so excited to see
the cast of "cocoon" is here.

You look fabulous.

Miss, I'm over here.
Bring both eyes.

I'm right here.

Damn, pearl harbor
must have did you in.

On a lighter note, I'd like to
let you know about my family.

My mother is from cuba,
and my dad is from honduras,

Which basically means I have
a large d*ck, no credit,

And a tendency to take things
that don't belong to me.

- [Laughter]

- My mother insisted
that we stay true to
our spanish heritage,

So my first words
were, "housekeeping."

- [Laughter]

- I like the gentlemen
in the back who's sleeping.

Makes me feel right at home.

Can you wake that bitch up?

Yeah, the one right there
with the horizontal stripes.

Not a good look in your third
trimester, sir, all right?

- [Laughter]

- All I've ever heard
from the judges

Was that we need
to see more versatility.

You know what
I got to say to y'all

Is that I will show you
versatility

When santino wins
a sewing competition

And visage wears a f*cking
turtleneck, you hear me?

- [Laughter]

- Ain't gonna happen.

Well, I got to say, I hope
you guys had a lot of fun,

And because
I'm feeling extra special,

I'm gonna put fresh tennis balls
on every walker in the place.

- [Laughter]

- Jell-o all around.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Mwah.

- Coming up...

- I got zero funny from you.

- I just didn't think anything
was really developed.

- That's the nightclub, girl.

What we're telling you
is what it takes.

- [Sniffles]

[Engine revs]

- Ha ha!

[Bell dings]

- Ha ha!

Welcome, ladies.

It's time for
the judges' critiques.

First up, darienne lake.

Bruce you came out to
the driest, coldest
house imaginable.

You got them laughing.
You're amazing.

- Like, literally, my note says,
"k*lled it."

- Thank you so much, darienne.

Next up, courtney act.

- I thought you did ok,

But if you're gonna use a shtick
like a song,

That sh*t had better be the
funniest song I've ever heard.

- Mm-hmm.
- And it wasn't.

- But you're not
a stand-up comic,

So I thought it was
very cleverly calculated
to play to your strengths.

- All right, next up,
adore delano.

- I love the character.

You had some funny jokes,
but don't just throw f-bombs
around willy-nilly

When they're not adding
to the party.

You're relying a lot on
your charm and personality,

Which concerns me.

- [Sniffles]

I'm really, really trying.

I want to know that, like,
I'm here...because I deserve it.

[Sniffles]

- Adore, the charming thing
is a great plus,

But you've got to have faith
in your talent.

- Thanks.

- All right, let's move on.
Bendelacreme.

- I'm kind of getting bored
with these old showgirl looks.

- I actually chose this
because michelle was saying that

She'd like to sort of see
more me.

- But it's got nothing to do
with your clothes, baby.

It's stepping out
of that character

And showing us
who you are inside.

- While you have
intelligent jokes,

You didn't stop long enough
to let your crowd laugh
or hear the joke.

- Next up, laganja estranja.

- Hey, hey, hey.

- I got zero funny from you.

You do this thing,
this "okay, okay."

I want you to strip down
that affected facade
that is there,

And the few times that
I've seen you not do that,

I've started to warm up to you.

Once you go into that...
[Babbling]

Then we lose you.

- Tonight wasn't a character,
and I do--

I do talk like that,
and I'm sorry you...

- No, no, you talk like this.

This is how you talk.

- Phew.

I am trying tooth and nail
to impress you guys.

- You won the challenge
last week.

- But you know what?
It didn't feel like a win, ru,

Because all I could hear was
my crotch is too low,
my hair is off.

And I feel like an amateur
up here,

And I feel like I can never
do anything to please you.

And I do love myself, and
I do believe I'm a superstar,

And I am fighting so hard
to prove that to you.

And I've given up everything
in my life to be a drag queen,

And I'm...
- Breathe, breathe.

We all do that kiki voice.

It's a funny voice, but you
can't do that all the time.

It's the same note we had
for bendelacreme.

It separates you
from being human.

- You know, in the real world,
people love me,

And they think
I'm such a performer,

And they love to come
and see me.

And I get so built up--

- That's the nightclub, girl.

You came in this competition
to go to the next level.

What we're telling you
is what it takes,

And I'm not gonna
f*cking steer you wrong,

Not for no g*dd*mn tv show.

You're here because
I saw something in you,

But you have got to learn
how to own your stardom.

All right, so let's move on.

Trinity k. Bonet.

- Girl, you did us proud
tonight.

- [Applause]

- So, trinity, I'ma try to say
this without getting emotional.

I'm so proud of you.

Based on what you've done
in this competition before,

There seems to be a certain
defeated energy that I've seen,

And I do the same thing myself,
and I have to...

[Sighs]

I have to talk myself
off that ledge.

What you've done is you have
overcome your saboteur,

And I'm so proud to see it.

I'm so proud to see it.

- [Applause]

- Thank you for believing in me,

Because I know you saw something
in me, and I appreciate it.

- Thank you.
Let's move on.

Joslyn fox.

- Knowing that bianca del rio
is a comic,

Why would you put yourself
before her?

- I thought she'd be a great way
to close the show.

- She is a great closer,

But what it does is
it puts the person before her

In a really precarious situation
if you're not as strong.

- The funniest thing
was the a.d.d. Thing.

That's a character.

The rest of the routine
could be that girl.

- You started out strong,
but then you just flat lined.

You're like a comedy t*rror1st.

You can fly the plane,
but you can't land it.

- All right, bianca del rio.

- I think you're amazing.

You're so quick, but you know
exactly how to land a joke
and when to wait.

- You k*lled it.
- Thanks.

- So, so, so, so, so funny.

- I thought it was
absolutely astonishing.

I mean, you're the real deal.

- Thank you.

- Thank you, ladies.

While you untuck
in the form decor lounge,

The judges and I
will deliberate.

[Engine revs]

- Just between us girls,
what do you think?

Let's start with darienne lake.

- She was comfortable
in her own skin.

She knows who she is.
She has heart.

She played to the audience.
I thought she was great.

I loved her.

- Courtney act.

- I thought her routine
was average.

- I think she was smart
to play to her strength,

Which is her voice and singing.

- But it's not exactly
what you asked for.

- Next up, adore delano.

- She's such an interesting
presence on stage.

- If she really got rid
of all that doubt,

She would be unstoppable.

- Think of yourself at that age,
you know.

- Ha! Oh!

- Try to pull you out of the
backseat of cars to tell you...

- [Laughter]

- Just slap the d*ck
out of your hand

And say, "michelle, listen."

- All right, let's move on
to bendelacreme.

- Her comedy was intelligent.

She just doesn't understand
comic timing.

- The smartest thing she did
was,

When the heckler happened,
she got off.

- Laganja estranja.

- I just don't quite get
that whole character

Who smokes dope all the time

And yet can speak faster
than the b*llet train.

- When you get into
a business like this,

You have to build thick skin.

- You need to be able to handle
the criticism.

Nobody's saying
you're not trying, girl.

I'm saying
it needs to be better.

- Yeah.
Trinity k. Bonet.

- I loved that she laughed
at herself and her life

And allowed us
to do that with her.

- She followed laganja,
and she made them stand up.

She changed the energy
in the room.

- Joslyn fox.

- She started out very strong,
and then it just got less funny.

- "Oh, wow, a rhinestone."
Done.

- [Laughs]
- it's a wrap.

- And then there was bianca.

- The smart thing about her is,
she makes fun of herself.

Now she can make fun of you.

- Yes.
- I wanted her to come after me,

And I was sitting here, like,
"do me. Do me."

- When you want somebody
to rip on you, that's a talent.

- Silence.
I've made my decision.

Bring back my funny girls.

[Engine revs]

- Ha ha!

- [Bell dings]

- Ha ha!

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Darienne lake, you're safe.

- Holy trinity k. Bonet,
you are safe.

Bianca del rio,
tonight you didn't just k*ll it.

You were a mass m*rder*r.

Condragulations, you are the
winner of this week's challenge.

- [Applause]

- And you've won a one-of-a-kind
custom gown by marco marco.

- Fabulous.

- You may join the other girls.

Courtney, you're safe.

- Thank you.

- Laganja estranja,
you aimed high,

But your routine
was a buzz k*ll.

I'm sorry, my dear,
but you are up for elimination.

Adore delano, you're safe.

- Thank you.

- Bendelacreme,
you are a smart cookie,

But tonight your comedy routine
crumbled.

Joslyn fox, you are
a lovable queen,

But--and it's quite
an impressive butt--

Your punch lines flat lined.

Bendelacreme, you're safe.

- Thank you.
Thank you all.

- Joslyn, my dear, I am sorry,
but you are up for elimination.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me

And save yourself
from elimination.

The time has come for you
to lip-synch for your life.

Good luck, and don't f*ck it up.

- ♪ Stupid girls ♪

♪ Stupid girls ♪

♪ Maybe if I act like that ♪

♪ Flipping my blonde hair back ♪

♪ Push out my bra like that ♪

♪ I don't want to be
a stupid girl ♪

♪ Just like this, like this ♪

♪ Pretty will you f*ck me girl ♪

♪ Silly I'm so lucky girl ♪

♪ Pull my hair back girl ♪

♪ Stupid girl ♪

♪ Pretty will you f*ck me girl ♪

♪ Silly I'm so lucky girl ♪

♪ Pull my hair back girl ♪

♪ Stupid girl ♪

♪ Maybe if I act like that ♪

♪ Flipping my blonde hair back ♪

♪ Push out my bra like that ♪

- Ha ha!

- ♪ Stupid girl ♪

- Oh!
- Yeah!

- ♪ That guy will call me back ♪

♪ p*rn paparazzi girl ♪

- Both of the girls
on the same b*at of the song

Not looking at each other

Jumped into the splits
and hit the floor.

It is so good.

- ♪ I don't want to be
a stupid girl ♪

- Oh!

- ♪ Maybe if I act like that ♪

♪ Push out my bra like that ♪

♪ Stupid girl ♪

♪ Stupid girl ♪

♪ Stupid girl ♪

- Ha ha!

Ladies, I've made my decision.

- Please don't send me home.

Please don't send me home.

- Joslyn fox, shante, you stay.

- Thank you.

- You may join the other girls.

Laganja estranja,
own your star power, mama,

And keep flying high.

- Thank you, ru,
for this incredible experience.

I know that
in my heart of hearts,

I stayed true to who I was,

And I will be the first queen
to actually chasse away.

- [Applause]

- Ha ha!

- I came here to win, and it
didn't work out in my favor,

But this was definitely
a journey for me.

It's been filled with
many ups and many downs.

I'm happy I made it this far,

And I can't wait to see
what the future holds.

- Condragulations,
my 7 wonders of the world.

Now, remember,
if you can't love yourself,

How in the hell you gonna love
somebody else?

Can I get a amen in here?

- Amen.
- Amen.

- All right, now,
let the music play.

- ♪ I want to dance, dance ♪

♪ I want to dance, dance ♪

♪ I want to dance, dance ♪

♪ Dance with you ♪