03x02 - The Queen Who Mopped X-Mas

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "RuPaul's Drag Race". Aired: February 2, 2009 – present.*
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RuPaul plays the role of host, mentor, and head judge for this series, as contestants are given different challenges each week.
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03x02 - The Queen Who Mopped X-Mas

Post by bunniefuu »

- Sick...

twisted...

unnatural...

you asked for it...

and you got it.

It's a brand-new season

of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Let the games begin!

This year's search for

America's Next Drag

Superstar...

- Shake it!

- Goes where no man

has gone before.

- No one can do lip-syncing

in space.

Prepare to die!

- Aah!

- More queens...

more sassy stars...

- Ho ho ho ho!

- What did you just call me?

- Hallelu.

- More tears...

- [sobbing] I don't know

what I was thinking.

- And big, big...

- Can I use that to store some

of my shoes?

- Cash money, honey.

- That's a lotta f*cking money.

- We've taken everything you

love...

- Get her off of me!

- And super-sized it.

The time has come...

- ♪ Ah ah ah ah ah

- For you to lip-synch...

- ♪ Ro-ma, ro-ma-la

- For your life.

- ♪ Want your bad romance

- Shot in eye-popping triple D.

Stop the insanity!

RuPaul's Drag Race is about

to spin out of control...

in three...

two...

one.

- My name is Delta Work.

I'm 34 years old, and I'm

from Norwalk, California.

There's gonna be a good half

the people watching

that think that a big girl

can't win this competition.

But if you can't get past that,

then you're not gonna get into

everything I have to offer.

I'm here not just to represent

the big girls.

I wanna follow in RuPaul's

footsteps.

- My name is Christopher Ulman,

also known as Carmen Carrera.

I am 25 years old

from New Jersey.

Titties, titties!

- [laughing]

- Body!

- Carmen Carrera is, like, the

flyest girl

you're gonna ever meet

in your life.

I make sure that her body is

flawless.

If you find a flaw, let me know.

- Hi!

- Hi.

- What's goin' on?

- Oh, look at your shoes.

I love them!

- Oh, those are rad.

- Fierce, honey, fierce.

My name is Phoenix.

I'm 29 years old.

I'm from Atlanta, Georgia.

Yay, craziness.

When I walk in, I want people to

be like, okay...

she could be a handful.

I can play well with others.

My mom raised me well.

But I definitely do have a

bitchy side.

- [falsetto] Hello!

- Well, hel-lo!

- Manila!

- Hi! Oh, my God, look at you!

I'm Manila Luzon.

I am a creative little kid from

the Midwest whose creativity was

too big for Minnesota.

So I moved to New York City.

- Oh, I'm so happy you're here.

I love Manila.

I know her from working

in New York.

- This is the most clothes I

have seen you ever in.

- I know.

- Always buck naked.

My drag persona Manila is my

personal muse because...

I inspire myself.

[laughs]

- Hi!

- Hi.

My name is Stacy Layne Matthews.

I'm 25 years old, and I'm from

Back Swamp, North Carolina.

I'm very much so

a country queen.

I live on a dirt road surrounded

by corn fields.

Can't get more country than

that.

- We got two of y'all tonight.

- Okay.

- Yes, honey.

- Being a plus-size queen living

in a drag community

that's so vicious...

it's so vicious...

it's built me up to be who I am.

- The weather girls are here.

- Say, word.

[door opens]

- Hello!

all: Hi!

- My name is Adam,

AKA Venus D-Lite.

I'm 26 years old, and I live

in Los Angeles.

- Hi, Venus!

- Hey, what's going on?

Hi, baby.

Venus's female role models are

Madonna, of course,

Grace Jones, Barbra Streisand,

and Jean Harlow.

She's just a blond bombshell

ditzy bimbo.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- I'm Yara Sofia.

I'm 26.

I'm from Puerto Rico.

I'm the Puerto Rican one, so...

- So? I'm the Asian.

- And what about you?

- From L.A., I'm Italian.

- I'm from L.A., also.

I'm black.

[laughter]

- Everybody knows who is

Yara Sofia in Puerto Rico.

I mean, if you don't, I'm sorry,

darling, this is not your world.

- Hey!

all: Hey!

- I am Mariah Balenciaga,

AKA Mariah Paris,

AKA Mariah Successful.

I'm from Atlanta, Georgia,

and I am 29 years old.

I know you.

- Good to see you, baby.

- Mariah tends to be the center

of the party.

I mean, you cannot miss her.

A 6'2" glamazon walking through

the middle of the room with legs

like a racehorse.

- Y'all got things worked

in yet?

- No, we're just kinda waiting

around for all the girls to come

so we can judge them.

- Oh. There's more?

I've dominated and conquered

drag's face

for the past 11 years.

There's really nobody who can

touch Mariah.

- Hey, hey, hey!

all: Hi!

- How's everybody doing?

My name is Alexis Mateo.

I'm 30 years old.

Everybody's having fun?

all: Yes.

- [giggles]

- Are you from Texas?

- I'm living in Florida right

now...I'm from Puerto Rico.

- Oh, see, double down!

We got two big girls,

we got two Puerto Ricans.

- What I hate the most is that

people label you

as the Latin queen.

I'm not just a Latin queen.

When I'm in drag, I'm a star.

- Oh!

- Ooh.

Oh, my.

It's embarrassing to walk in

with a room with a whole bunch

of queens,

and you guys are wearing

the same outfit.

- I was like, oh, my gosh.

I know they are gasping

for breath right now.

- I'm India Ferrah.

I'm from Dayton, Ohio.

I'm 23 years old.

Girl, prison, honey.

I look over to Phoenix copying

my style.

So I actually had to go up to

her and,

you know, be a little c**t

to her.

I love your hair.

[laughter]

- I'm definitely wearing the

hair better, the vinyl better.

India's very, like...painted.

She's very, like,

old-school drag.

But it's cool.

It's cool to see, like,

that style of drag still

amongst us, so...

- Have we figured out who's

gonna be the bitch yet?

- Ooh!

[murmuring]

- Welcome to my party!

all: Hi!

- Oh, my gosh!

I brought cookies.

I'm Mimi Imfurst.

I'm 27,

and I'm from New York City.

How y'all doing?

I just want to start off on good

terms with all these b*tches

before I start taking them down.

[laughing]

So who's the bitch here?

It's what I need to know

right away.

- You know what...I think we're

gonna appoint you.

You okay with that?

- Girl, no.

- She ain't that slick, honey,

Miss Mimi.

Before there was Mimi,

there was Mariah.

- Oh...

- Yes!

- Oh, my God.

- It's the purple people eater!

- [laughing]

Hi, ladies.

My name's Sutan,

also known as Raja.

I'm 36 years old, and I'm from

Los Angeles, California.

Raja's a model.

She's uber-stylish.

She was doing stuff that Gaga's

doing now

before Gaga even knew about it.

Yay!

- When Raja walked in,



- Umph, umph, umph!

I love you!

How are you?

What's your name?

- I see you lookin' at me.

[laughter]

Her look is definitely not

polished.

It's definitely not fabulous.

It almost looks as if I went

into my granny's trunk

in the attic.

- I could see the surprised look

on everyone's faces.

It was the exact the reaction

I wanted.

We're drag queens.

We're meant to be pioneers.

So why not wear a funny little

cyclops hat?

Nice to meet you.

I'm Raja.

It's a pleasure to meet you

guys.

- Club kid.

Where's her body, where's her

hair, where's her makeup?

I don't see her on the same

level as the rest of us.

[alarm whoops]

- Whoo, girl!

You got shemail.

Welcome, racers.

[cheers and applause]

You know great things

come in threes...

The Supremes, Destiny's Child,

Mark Wahlberg's nipples.

[laughter]

Now, RuPaul's Drag Race,

season three, hunty, okay?

- Yeah!

- So you think you know what it

takes to become America's Next

Drag Superstar?

Well, think again!

Watch your back, my queens.

'Tis the season when anything

and everything can change in

the blink of an eye.

So strap in, and let's get this

mothertruckin' drag race

on the road, okay?

[all whooping]

- Hello, hello, hello!

[laughing]

Wow!

Look how purdy you are!

How gorgeous!

I think I'm gonna cry!

[laughter]

Welcome to RuPaul's Drag Race.

I am so thrilled to be standing

here among such royalty.

You, my dears, are the fiercest

of the fierce!

- Yes!

- This is your chance to show

the world that you've got the

charisma, uniqueness, nerve,

and talent to be America's Next

Drag Superstar.

The winner

of RuPaul's Drag Race

will receive a lifetime supply

of Kryolan professional makeup,

headline Logo's Drag Race Tour,

featuring cocktails perfected

by Absolut.

And America's Next Drag

Superstar will also receive...

$75,000.

- [whooping]

- $75,000!

[cheers and applause]

- Bitch...

- That's a lotta f*cking money.

- You know, they say Christmas

comes but once a year.

But around here, we like to deck

the halls all year round.

I declare that it's officially

Christmastime

at RuPaul's Drag Race!

[cheers and applause]

- To kick off the holiday,

I have a little gift from me

to you.

Oh, pit crew!

- Ooh!

- Ow!

[laughter]

- Well, kiss that Christmas!

Baby, I was starting to get

a little sweaty.

These guys are fine.

Maybe there's something bigger

and buffer

coming out of the box.

I was ready for the third one.

It was about to be a party.

- Now, if good things come in

small packages,

then this is gonna be

re-donkulous!

- Hallelu, ladies!

- Oh, my God.

- Whoo!

- And there's Shangela.

Hallelu.

- Hallelu, hallelu!

Oh!

Merry Christmas.

Happy holidays, b*tches.

[chortling]

- Everybody's face...gagged.

What the f*ck?

Who invite this girl again?

She already got her moment

of glory.

She got eliminated.

- Sahara Davenport...

Shantay. You stay.

Shangela, you have only

just begun.

But I have a feeling...

we haven't seen

the last of you yet.

Now, for the first time

in Drag Race history,

I'm giving one of my girls

a second chance.

Shangela will be joining you

in this competition.

all: Oh...

- Welcome, Shangela.

- It's a nice thing that

Shangela's here,

but she doesn't thr*aten me

in any way.

- So now that all 13 of my girls

are here...

are you ready for your close-up?

Hey, Carmen.

- Hey, hey.

- Come on, down, mami.

- What's going on?

- This is celebrity photographer

Mike Ruiz.

Mike has set up this gorgeous

Christmas winter wonderland

scenario,

and he's gonna get a few sh*ts

of you.

- Okay.

- Today is the first challenge

of the entire race,

and it's so important

because it's the first

impression that they make.

- This is gonna be a sexy, sexy

cover of your Christmas card.

You are going to be jumping on

that trampoline to do it.

- Oh, God.

[laughing]

I'm not gonna be able to pull

this off.

I'm wearing the wrong dress

to be jumping.

This is gonna be terrible.

Wait, let me just make sure that

all my jewels are locked away.

- Well, you've got several

jewels.

- Okay, all right,

let's do this, yo!

[laughs]

- It's snowin' at the Jersey

Shore!

Blow this, Snooki.

Yes, mama.

You...

- Oh...

[laughter]

- The flying lady

on a Rolls-Royce!

- Don't worry.

We're good, we're good.

I'm sorry.

That photo sh**t

was such a mess.

I was not ready for none

of that.

- Okay, we got one.

Uno, dos, tres.

Gorgeous!

- Uh-oh.

- Don't worry, don't worry.

I'm okay.

- Careful, Mimi.

I can see your nutcracker, hon.

- Whoo!

- [laughs]

Yeah...yeah.

Let's start again.

And hit it.

[camera shutter clicks]

Crazy. Okay.

Mimi had a really hard time

maintaining composure.

She wasn't giving us sexy.

She was giving us crazy.

- Pick your feet up.

Whoo...ooh hoo hoo!

- I'm jumping on the trampoline

with my boobs,

which are very heavy.

They weigh about 12 pounds.

I was sweating to death.

They wanted to fall off.

- I think your breasts are

throwing your balance off.

- They're throwing

my balance off.

- [grunting]

- There ya go.

- [laughs]

I was a little nervous

about this challenge.

Me being a plus-size queen

trying to jump around on a

trampoline is not cute.

- You gotta jump

as high as you can.

A little bit higher, if you

can.

One, two, three.

- And he keeps telling me to

jump higher, jump higher.

But my fat ass, I'm sorry...

[laughs] I can't jump that high

on a trampoline.

- One, two, three!

Beautiful.

Okay, do something nasty now

with that candy cane.

Ride that cane!

Beautiful.

Mariah just, like,

radiates sexuality.

- Your eggnog brings

all the boys to the yard.

Send in the clowns!

[laughter]

Hi, Raja.

- Hi, Raja!

- Come on down.

- W.T.F.?

To see a trampoline flanked

by half-nude men...

I mean, what else could

I ask for?

- Gimme sexy face.

- Oh, yes!

- Okay. You know what I want,

Raja.

- Oh, yes, mami!

- Raja is this beautiful,

elegant gazelle.

He really has a good sense

of his body

and how to portray it

in a photograph.

One, two, three.

- Hi.

Ooh!

Look at you guys!

What's up, dudes?

What's up, bros?

Everyone's unpacking, and I got

a chance to kind of look around

the room and see everyone

stripped down

without their makeup,

the wigs are gone,

the paddings are gone.

And I got to see these men and,

you know what?

I've gotta say some of them

are kind of cute.

Yara's kind of a cute boy.

Tattoos.

Oh, my God, kind of hottie

over there.

Oh, my god, that one...is that

even out of drag yet?

Stacy looks like a girl out

of drag.

I was like,

is that somebody's mama?

- For Puerto Rico!

Feliz Navidad!

Gorgeous.

- Alexis, a little Ann-Margret

she was giving me today.

And sexy face.

- Sexy face!

- Gorgeous. We got it.

That was it.

Beautiful.

One, two, three.

Ooh, how phallic.

Manila was actually really great

on the trampoline,

very limber and very capable.

- [gags]

[laughter]

- Okay, we got it!

- [gags]

- Good. And sexy!

- Oh...oh!

- Try and get off the ground

just a little bit more.

One, two, three.

Okay, and hit it.

Not so high with your hands.

Keep your hands down here.

One, two, three.

- Ooh, Merry Christmas!

- Higher, higher!

- You look like a snow leopard.

- Hi!

- Hey, Shangela.

- Hi, Ru!

- Good to see ya.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- One year later, and I'm in

front of Mike Ruiz again.

I have something to prove.

Get out here and turn it out.

Round two, baby.

I am ready.

- All right.

- I look forward to it.

Okay, yea...

oh, yes, mama!

Sex-ual!

Christmas never looked so sexy!

- You have made us proud.

You have done your homework.

- Yay! Thank you.

Whoo!

Girl, got me right on together.

When I step into that room, I

felt like I'd gone back in time.

Well, I remember the spot that

was unlucky in love for me

last season,

so let me go find a new spot.

Hallelu!

Ooh, praise him.

Ah.

Now, some of these new queens

may not be so excited that

Shangela is back

in the building.

- No, I auditioned, just like...

yeah, I auditioned

just like everyone else.

She kept asking me,

"Girl, how'd you get back?"

She seemed a little cunty

about it.

And I feel like over the last

year I've grown,

and also I wanted to come back

and compete

and really compete.

- Shangela, she says she's

gained enough experience.

All I can say, Shangela,

is prove it.

Serve it, girl.

Because you're under

the microscope now, bitch.

- She's probably one I'm gonna

have to watch my back for.

- Ooh!

- Yeah!

[all whooping]

- Over here, baby.

Bring it over here.

Over here, over here.

- Hello, ladies.

Well, who are you?

[all whooping]

- Who are you people?

Now, Mike and I went over all

of your photographs.

One shot in particular really

got our jingle bells ringing.

The winner of the holiday card

photo sh**t is...

Raja.

- Yes!

[cheers and applause]

To win the very first challenge

feels good,

feels like I've staked my claim

and put my little mark

on this competition.

I kinda lifted my leg

and pissed on it a little bit.

Cheers, b*tches.

[applause]

- Now, tonight I expect you all

to have visions of sugar plums

dancing in your head.

Because the countdown has begun.

Tomorrow, I wanna see you in

your finest daywear drag.

And there's only one shopping

day left until it's Christmas

at RuPaul's Drag Race.

[cheers and applause]

[all speaking at once]

[car horns honk]

[wolf whistles]

- Being in drag in the middle

of the day's kind of weird.

It's like the circus

was in town.

[cars honking]

- I felt a little uncomfortable.

I don't do that.

I don't go out in the daytime

in drag.

- When we find out that we have

to go out during the daytime

and go shopping in drag...

I'm good, 'cause, baby,

if it's right, it's right.

[bell dings]

[overlapping chatter]

- There we are,

standing in daytime drag

in the middle of some

thrift store.

Nobody clocked me.

They thought I was Jada Pinkett

Smith up in there.

- Gather 'round, dolls.

Now, Christmas is a season

for miracles and shopping.

And today, you need to do

a little bit of both.

Using only funky old clothes

and used household materials,

you need to ho ho ho it up...

by creating your jolliest

holiday drag look.

You can use your own wigs,

shoes, and undergarments.

Plus, any holiday chotchkies

you can...

mop.

But the rest of your outfit has

to be 100% thrift store couture,

darlings.

Tomorrow you will debut your

dragtacular holiday look

on the main stage.

Now, you each have $50 and ten

minutes to shop until you drop.

Now, Raja, since you won

the photo sh**t,

you get an extra $25 to spend.

- [snaps]

- Gentlemen,

start your engines...

and may the best woman win!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

- I had to throw those shoes off

and punch it.

First thing I eyed was that big

lamp in the window.

I knew I'd have to ask, please,

can you give a bitch a bargain?

I just have to have this,

and I don't have $45.

How 'bout $22?

I'm on a budget.

- $23.

- $23! Say hallelu for me.

- Hallelu!

- Hallelu! All right!

You ask, it shall be given.

- Can I see

that gold shiny thing?

- This thing?

- Maybe this could be my skirt.

- You've worn less.

- I'm not sure how much of

an outfit I'm gonna have.

You know, it's gonna have to be

something a little sexy.

- Out of my way, girl.

- It's all ugly.

- Just like some of these

contestants.

- Now, I've shopped in enough

thrift stores in my day to know

that very rarely are you gonna

find my size on a rack.

So I'm just gonna grab

all the fabric I can find.

I need a shopping cart.

- Girl...

- This is the best Christmas

ever.

- Oh! It's so pretty.

- When we walked back

into the workroom,

we have to rush and get any

holiday fixings that we can.

It's a race.

- These ladies are no ladies.

- Don't touch my shit.

This is mine.

- They are runnin' around,

snatching things off the wall.

It is a mad dash.

- Oh, girl,

I found myself a skirt.

Yes!

- Oh...

- Oh, yeah.

I'm ruling this f*cking school.

- I just broke my Christian Dior

sunglasses doing this.

I better win this shit.

Ugh!

- I see Shangela.

She is dragging this big-ass

styrofoam snowman

across the room.

Is she gonna wear it?

I don't know

what she's gonna do.

- You always snatching.

What is that?

I'm trying to be sister element

of surprise,

but it's hard when you got

a 5-foot snowman.

She missing a eye and a nose,

but she gonna be all right.

- Ladies, can I just say

something?

I am from Chicago!

[laughter]

- I was waiting

to see the first one

to start screaming at somebody.

I knew it was gonna be

her crazy ass.

Mimi, I think, is one of these

people that, um, really, really

wants to be center

of everything.

- Can I get an amen?

- Amen.

- Can I get

a [speaking gibberish]?

- If that's her way,

that's fine, but it's...

annoying as hell to me, so...

- [speaking gibberish]

- I don't know how I came up

with this idea, but...

it is working to my advantage.

I work great under pressure, and

I was just...I was feeling it.

I was feeling great.

[snapping]

- Does anybody have any red

ornaments they don't want?

- No, I need some too.

- Okay.

- Then I noticed Phoenix was

doing the same thing.

That's shady to me.

- Evidently, I'm "copying"

her amazing idea.

- You can be my friend or you

can be my enemy...

just say it to my face.

I mean, if somebody pisses me

off, I'm gonna tell 'em.

- I see the claws are comin' out

early, honey.

Whatever is in the dark

shall come to the light,

especially with regard

to this experience.

- The runway challenge is to

create a Christmas-inspired

outfit from all the things

that we got at the thrift shop.

- Honey, there was nothing

at that store my size.

I'm using bed sheets.

- Oh, right.

- Girl, if I get in this dress

and it does not fit,

I'm gonna cry.

- Ho, ho, ho, ladies.

- Hey.

- Hey, Ru.

- Shangela Laquifa Wadley.

- This is Laquifa.

Shangela Laquifa

in the Wadley family.

- I see.

- I've made a Shange-replica.

That's how I'm gonna turn it out

on that stage.

I designed this piece myself.

This is actually sewn onto

a bodice...I did that.

So hopefully, we'll all be

hitting the runway tomorrow.

- Well, that's all cute,

but we're talking about $75,000

here.

- But it's gonna work.

I feel like, I'm putting a lot

into my creation,

and I'm confident that it'll

at least go over well.

- Now, Shangela,

I have a lot of faith in you.

That's why I invited you back.

- I really appreciate it.

And I'm trying not

to disappoint you.

- All right, terrific.

- Thank you, Ru.

- Hey, Phoenix.

- Hey, Ru.

- Merry Christmas.

- You too!

- This is pretty amazing.

Now, these are...are what?

- Shattered...

- Oh, shattered glass.

- Mm-hmm. Shattered glass, yes.

- Oh, you're showing a lot

of creativity...we like that.

- Thank you so much.

- Thank you, Phoenix.

- Thank you, babe.

- Mimi Mimi Mimi Imfurst.

- Ho ho ho, Ru.

- Ho ho ho to you!

Now, I wanna talk about

this amazing...

- [laughs]

- Outfit you have here.

It's very, uh, manger couture.

Would you say you were halfway

done, 3/4 of the way done?

- [laughs] I don't know!

I'm just really nervous,

'cause I don't sew.

Throw me a script, throw me

a song to sing, I can do it.

- Well, you know, those have

been some famous last words

on RuPaul's Drag Race.

- I know, I know, I'm just...

I'm...I'm so nervous.

- But you know,

there are other

girls here who don't know

how to sew,

but they're gluin'

and puttin' things together...

we'll see how it plays

on the runway.

- All right.

I am nervous as hell,

because I

have a raggedy-ass dress, but I

have a big problem on my hands.

- Manila Luzon.

- Hi, Ru!

- So now, I wanna hear

about your outfit.

- So I'm gonna have like a fur

collar, and then with the extra,

I'm gonna make a muff.

- Let's talk about this!

[laughing]

You got this picture of...

- That's Sahara Davenport,

my boyfriend.

- How about that?

- Yeah, she was here last

season, so I brought this.

I have my little sketch pad.

Having my boyfriend being

Sahara,

I don't think it's gonna

have any effect on my chances

of winning this contest.

Besides, Sahara didn't win,

and I'm going to.

- All right, so I'm gonna let

you get back to work.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Venus D-Lite.

- Ru-Ru!

- Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.

Chrissy kiss!

Kissy kiss!

- Now, look what you have here.

Showgirl always, aren't you?

- Yes. This was a jacket.

I took off the collar, got

ornaments, and I crushed them,

gave it a little glitzy color.

- The crushed thing here...

I saw it on a few others.

Who had it first?

- Me.

- You did.

- And the b*tches stole it.

- [laughs] All right, Venus.

- All right, Ru-Ru.

- Carry on.

- Till next time.

Kissy kissies!

- [laughing]

Raja.

- Hey, Ru.

- Hello.

Well, look at this.

It's very Christmas pudding

at Vivienne Westwood's

on Boxing Day.

- You're so right!

That's exactly

what I was going for.

But I really wanted to kinda do

the idea of, like, gift wrap

and how under a Christmas tree,

it's all sort of, like,

hodgepodge and mixed up together

and a little

Christmas tree green skirt

'cause, you know,

that's where you keep all the

presents is under the tree.

Yes, ma'am!

- Well, I can't wait to see this

on the runway.

So keep working on it,

turn it out...

- Okay.

- And I'll see you later on.

Good luck.

- All right, Ru.

Thanks a lot.

- Hey, Carmen.

Wow, look, you've got your

Christmas goin' on here.

- Feeling a little spicy

this Christmas.

- Well, something tells me you

feel spicy every Christmas.

- Yes.

- And Easter...

- Uh-huh.

- And Memorial Day.

This is a lotta body showing.

Oh, she has a little booty-booty

back here.

- Yeah, this is the mistletoe

back there.

- Oh, that's the mistletoe!

I'ma let you get back to it.

I can't wait to see you

pull this off on the stage.

All right, get back to work.

- All right, thank you.

- All right.

- Stacy Layne Matthews.

- Well, hello, Ru.

- Are you having fun?

It seems like

you're the shy one.

- I'm not shy.

I'm just focused.

[both laughing]

- Now, have you been

to California before?

- No, this is my first time,

actually.

- First time in Hollywood.

- First time on a plane.

- First time on a plane.

How about...we are just changing

lives over here!

- I know!

I feel like a different person.

- But can you bring

the charisma,

uniqueness, nerve, and talents?

- I have that,

or I wouldn't be here.

[both laughing]

- Good luck.

- Thank you.

- All right.

Gather 'round, dolls.

All right, ladies.

Tomorrow, on the main stage,

we'll be spending the holidays

with our extra-special guest

judge, the one and only...

Vanessa Williams.

[cheers and applause]

- For some gays and some queens,

they've got Cher and Madonna.

But I'm a big Vanessa Williams

fan.

- 'Tis the season for giving...

so you better be serving up

some holiday realness...

or this could be

your last Christmas.

So don't f*ck it up.

I'll see you on the main stage.

Bye.

all: Bye.

- [sobbing]

I f*cked it up.

I don't know

what I was thinking!

I don't know how to sew and,

um...

[sniffles] I know it's

my biggest hurdle and...

I'm just a...I've worked so hard

to get here, and I'm just...

I don't wanna fail.

[sniffles]

- Is she okay?

- No.

- Girl, seriously...

come here, babe.

If you have a undergarment,

take it out,

like a full undergarment.

- I don't.

Mariah came over, and she sort

of helped me rethink everything.

- Get your undergarment.

Go get your undergarments.

You need your undergarments.

I knew she had bitten off more

than she could chew so,

you know, when she broke down,

I was like, "Oh, baby."

- What you need to do is pick

out some of your fiercest hair

and, bitch, paint

for filth tomorrow.

I feel bad for her.

I think, you know, she feels

that she's gonna have

to lip-synch for her life

tomorrow night,

and, honestly, I think so too.

- Girl, don't blow your nose

on the fabric, bitch.

- Mimi is freaked out.

Girl! Put yourself together,

darling!

- It's okay, mama.

- No, it's not.

I just have to finish

what I'm working on,

and tomorrow

when I hit the runway,

I wanna sell it like it's

a million-dollar dress.

And if I have to lip-synch,

I'll mother f*cking lip-synch

my life off.

[sniffles]

- Hallelu.

- Back to work, ladies.

- We're back in the workroom

this morning, and we only have a

little bit of time to finish up

our Christmas couture.

- The vibe in the workroom felt

very much like

a Santa's workshop,

like, all the elves

were really busy.

- Okay, how come I can't even

sew a f*cking jingle bell?

This is just hanging there

like a limp scrotum.

- The emotions are pretty

intense in the room.

Everyone knows that someone's

gotta go home,

and it doesn't matter how

perfect you think you are

or how bad you think

the other person is,

because there's always gonna be

an element of surprise

to these things.

- You feeling a little bit

better today, baby?

- A little bit.

- Okay.

- I had a very long night.

I didn't sleep very well,

but I just need to finish the

garment and sell it

when I go down the runway.

I'm just gonna pray

for a miracle.

- So, Venus, who do you think

is in the bottom?

- I think, um,

Mimi's going home.

Yesterday, Mimi had her

breakdown,

and today, I could just see it

all over her face.

I don't think you can be the

Next Drag Superstar

with no confidence.

- The other queens saw me

at a really vulnerable place,

so they think

that I might be weak.

Whatever.

In this business,

you have to be driven.

I don't think that there's any

drag performers

who are more driven than I am.

I think she might be a dress!

- Mimi had this idea of doing

this Virgin Mary thing.

It just looked like a laundry

bag full of, like, old sheets.

- The last time around I looked

around the room and said,

"Oh, girl, let me get this song

right, 'cause I don't wanna be

in the bottom two."

I don't wanna be lip-synching

for my life again.

It wasn't the best experience

in the world.

But this time around,

I feel really super-confident

about my outfit.

- What was it like to lip-synch

for your life last year, girl?

- Girl.

Girl, have you ever felt like

you were walking the plank

in the pirate ship, okay?

I felt like Pirates

of the Caribbean.

- The time has come...

for you to lip-synch...

for your life.

- It's funny that the phrase is

"lip-synch for your life,"

because it really feels like

you're gonna die.

No one knows that feeling

until you're there.

Being titled America's Next Drag

Superstar is a big deal.

And I'm not taking it lightly

that I'm back.

- How's your outfit comin',

Raja?

- Pretty good, actually.

I'm getting really happy

with it.

- How old are ya?

- I'm 36.

- Are you seriously?

- I started dabbling in drag

when I was 16.

In my teens, I was a pretty

awkward kid.

You know, walking down the

street, it was like, "f*gg*t."

Drag wasn't bad.

Drag was like, "Fierce, honey!

Fabulous, girl, work,"

you know,

and that's what I needed.

As the years start to pass,

you start to, like,

look at drag differently.

- Do you love it more or...

- I love it in a different way.

- Uh-huh. Yeah.

'Cause it's always, like,

changing.

- Yeah.

And I wanna evolve constantly,

you know?

I don't ever wanna be the same

queen for the rest of my life.

- So what do you do, Venus?

- I'm a Madonna impersonator,

mainly.

- Her Madonna is fierce.

She looks just like the bitch.

- I came out at 15, and pretty

much, nobody accepted me.

And all the bullcrap that I went

through growing up,

I think it ended up

making me

a very determined

and driven person.

- Do you do anyone else

besides Madonna?

- I do a lot of characters,

but I had plastic surgery

to look more like Madonna.

[record scratch effect]

- Really? What'd you do?

- I had my cheeks done

and my chin.

- Miss Venus, you're too young,

baby, to have that much work

in your face.

That much wrong work.

- Let me see.

Where is it?

Oh...

- See?

- Is it silicone or...

- It's silicone, yeah.

- I have never had

any plastic surgery.

It's like baseball players

taking steroids.

You're sort of cheating.

- I've had this three times

and this two.

- Well, you better work

that Madonna look, grr.

- All my money and all my time

has gone into drag.

I've dedicated, devoted,

compromised my whole life to be

a drag queen,

and I think that's why I'm here.

Carmen, you always naked.

Naked.

- Sorry. I have to get ready.

- Naked.

- She has been runnin' around

the dressing room all day

completely naked.

Just naked.

I mean, is this

a sex competition,

or is this a holiday couture

competition?

- Miss Carmen,

you gotta be naked.

- Girl, I don't even see it

as naked.

I don't know what these queens

are talkin' about.

I'm sorry, you know, I feel

comfortable with my body.

For me, it's a locker room.

[tape roll stretching]

- I think this hot glue g*n

gets way too hot.

It's like a lava g*n right here.

- They don't call it

a warm glue g*n.

- Oh, f*ck.

This hurts.

- f*ck.

- I think everyone

is just really on edge.

We don't have that much time

before we have to be all up in

drag and walkin' out

on that runway.

- How you holding up?

- I wish I had more time.

- You gonna have another

breakdown, girl?

- I hope not.

- Only have a breakdown

if I'm goin' home.

Hey, guys.

Welcome to the main stage

of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Now, tonight is like a RuPaul

family Christmas special,

and it wouldn't be Christmas

without

our very own Santa Claus!

- Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

[laughter]

- The funniest man on earth,

Bruce Vilanch.

Hi, Bruce.

- Hi, Ru.

- We are so glad you're here.

- It's tough for a Jewish boy

to do this.

- I know.

I know.

But in this economy,

you'll take it where you can.

- Exactly. I'm up-sizing.

[laughter]

- Santino!

- Hey, Ru.

- Hello, my dear.

- Shall we dance?

- Let's.

- [laughs]

- And the return of Michelle

Visage,

my cohost for over 100 episodes

of the RuPaul talk show.

- Couldn't keep us apart.

- [laughs]

And Mike Ruiz.

- Yes!

- We've just gotta stop

meeting like this.

- I know!

- Prissy kissness.

And I saved the best for last.

[laughter]

The lovely and talented

Vanessa Williams is here!

- Darling, you look phenomenal.

- Thank you so much.

I see you glittering

over there too.

- Thank you.

Got some gifts for Santa.

- Yes!

- Thank you!

[laughter]

- This week, our queens were

challenged to make their best

holiday drag looks

using thrift store hand-me-downs

and Christmas decorations.

Gentlemen...start your engines.

And may the best woman win!

Carmen Carrera.

- Hey, hey.

- Look at the size of that box!

- My lips are done,

my hair is done.

I'm feeling hot right now.

The spotlight is on me.

You can see my cheeks from

across the street.

- Uh-uh!

- Oh, the mistletoe.

- Is that mistletoe

or cameltoe?

- Look at that body. Ah!

- Manila Luzon.

- Look at the size

of that muff!

- Both hands fit.

- I am living on the runway.

I'm having so much fun.

The snow is coming, and

I'm just struttin' my stuff.

- A desperate housewife

of the North Pole.

- All right!

- He's giving us

Janice Dickinson.

- It's Yara Sofia,

and she's had her nose fixed!

- What a fabulous

set of antlers.

- I was so nervous,

but I feel great.

I did a good job,

and I give them a surprise.

- Hey!

[chuckles]

- Incredible.

- I love it!

- Oh, who do we have here?

That's Phoenix?

Ahoy!

- I think it was definitely

the best Christmas couture

that I could give.

I think my shit's fierce.

I think I could win.

- Oh, holy night,

that skirt is short.

- I can see her figgy pudding!

- Stacy Layne Matthews.

Representin' Back Swamp,

North Carolina.

- I think it's time

for a plus-size queen.

The skinny girls try

to take over,

so I think it's time

for us big girls to step up.

- Now, that's

the Jingle Bell Rock.

Oh, it's Venus D-Lite!

Merry Christmas.

- I'm just really trying to be

fun and sassy, little flirty.

I'm being me.

- Oh, lick it.

That looks delicious.

- Somebody's gonna get caned.

- India Ferrah.

- Okay, now.

Look at those two treats.

- Santa, would you like some

milk to go with those cookies?

- I'm looking good, bitch.

My hair is done, makeup right,

and I'm just walking

down the runway,

knowing that I look sickening.

- Ooh, the Fahrenheit

is getting higher!

- Delta Work.

And she is giving us

a Kwanzaa celebration.

- As soon as I hit the runway,

I am just...I'm so excited.

It's exhilarating.

It's what I've been waiting

for.

And I'm feeling really good

giving Kwanzaa realness.

- Erykah Badu!

Leontyne Price.

[laughter]

From Puerto Rico...

Alexis.

- Ooh!

- [trilling]

- Feliz Navidad.

Cha, cha, cha!

- I'm feeling fabulous.

The light, the music,

adrenaline comin' through.

I'm just feeling

on the top of the world.

- Oh!

Oh, yes! Okay.

El Barbizono modeling school-o.

- Love the snowflake earrings.

- Next, Mimi Imfurst.

- Oh, little baby Jesus

in her hands?

- Oh, yes,

it's the Madonna!

- It is!

It's the mother.

- Oh, wait a minute, that's...

that's actually a ham

in her arms.

- I hit the runway,

and I just decide in my mind

that I'm going

to deliver this dress

and deliver the character.

- I wanna see baby Jesus.

- I know...is he asleep

right now?

- He's cooking at 350!

- Hotlanta's own,

Mariah.

- In Christmas gray.

- Oh, she's giving a little

Wilhelmina Slater, I'd say.

- Yes, she is!

- I'm not polished as well

as I know I can be,

but I'm not gonna

let the judges see that.

I'm never gonna let them

see me sweat.

- Silver bells!

- Couture Christmas.

- Karl Lagerfeld,

eat your heart out.

Up next is Raja!

Oh, no stranger to the runway.

- Look at the detail

on that skirt.

- Vivienne Westwood!

What?

- Once I get out there,

I feel awesome.

That's my thing.

I am a runway girl.

I am a photography girl.

I'm a model.

- I just can't take my eyes

off of her.

- Gorgeous!

- Yes! Snow angels!

- Was it snow angels or a fit?

[laughter]

- Shangela Laquifa Wadley.

Oh, she's gained weight!

Oh, there she is.

- She made a snowman.

- She's a little frosty.

Oh, and she's got her piece

of corn there.

- All right!

- It's become a tradition here.

Oh, and her skirts light up!

Where is she keeping

the batteries?

- I am feeling so confident.

I love my outfit,

and all I can think is,

"Shangela, work, bitch."

- You know what I say.

Never work with animals,

children, or snowmen.

Welcome, ladies.

Based on your Christmas drag,

your holiday card photo sh**t,

and your presentation

on the main stage,

I've made some decisions.

Will the following queens

please step forward?

Mariah.

Delta Work.

Yara Sofia.

India Ferrah.

Phoenix.

Stacy Layne Matthews.

Alexis Mateo.

The seven of you

all stood out...

for not standing out

from the crowd.

You are all safe

from elimination.

But I warn you.

In this competition,

with $75,000 at stake...

"Safe" is a dirty word.

You may leave the stage.

All right, ladies...

you six are the nicest and

the naughtiest of the week.

It is time

for the judges' critiques.

Let's start with Carmen Carrera.

- Well, I think Carmen

used her assets to a T.

- Yes, ma'am!

- All I can think of is bows,

bows, booty.

You used what your maker gave to

you, and you brought the sexy.

- From one Jersey girl to

another, Carmen, you're hot.

You know you're hot.

Here's my one concern:

don't rely on body all the time.

- Y'all, I'd like to hear

from Santa, Bruce Vilanch.

- I'm very concerned

about the mistletoe,

because I think it's bad when

anything takes root there.

[laughter]

- Thank you, Bruce.

Let's take a look

at your holiday photo.

- You didn't really get into,

like, the dancer-ly beauty

of what I was asking

of you guys.

- I've never done

the trampoline before,

and getting on it,

I pulled a muscle.

So I wasn't really ready for

this, and it was kind of like,

the hair wasn't really working

with the...what I had on my arm,

which was getting caught

to the chiffon.

And then my lip gloss was stuck,

you know, and I swallowed

a piece of snow and...

- There's a lot of excuses.

You know, this is a competition.

At the end of the day,

nobody gives a crap.

You just have to bring it.

- Next up, Manila Luzon.

- Being from New York,

you reminded me of a Rockette.

And the second thing was

Marie Osmond, for some reason.

It's very Marie Osmond,

isn't it?

- She has really big hair

these days.

- But very well put together.

- Thank you.

- You are a magical,

fantastical confection.

- Well, this is the second dress

that I've ever sewn in my life.

- Wow. It's great.

It looks like Louis Vuitton.

- Oh!

- I thought more La Toya

Vuitton.

[laughter]

Shangela Laquifa Wadley.

Where'd you get the idea to use

a big prop like that?

- Oh, you talking about

Frostula?

Frostula the Snow Ho.

And if she came to life,

it would be Shangela.

- You kind of have a mild

concept going,

but it's still very kind

of remedial.

The execution is poor.

The back, it's kind

of falling apart.

There just could have been

more attention to detail.

- Now, I did learn to sew.

However, it was a little

difficult in working

with a paper material.

That was new for me.

- Here's the thing...you bring

out a big giant snowman.

The snowman was bigger

than the payoff.

And the thing about props...

you never wanna be upstaged

by a papier-mache snowman,

you know what I'm saying?

You don't!

- Well, I tell you,

on that note,

let's take a look

at your photograph

and see how well you did.

- I see a lot of armpit.

That's the first thing I went

to,

it was like...

armpit, you know.

- But it's fresh.

[laughter]

- All right, Shangela,

thank you very much.

Next up, Venus D-Lite.

How'd it feel for you up

on the runway?

- I was just having a ball.

- Can you turn around

and show me your ponytail?

That is really, I think,

the best part of your outfit.

I think the rest of the outfit

is overdone.

What did Coco Chanel say?

"Before you leave the house,

take one thing off"?

You've got the snowflake

and the beaded shoes

and then the beaded lapel.

I mean, it's a lot goin' on.

- Of the fabrications you

selected,

the whole mix isn't really

working for me.

You look like

a sad Christmas elf.

- The choices that I had

to make an outfit...

it was very limited.

And I'm saving the best

for later.

- Well, Venus, as you know,

in this competition,

with $75,000 at stake,

everything you do counts.

So that's not really an excuse.

Next, Mimi Imfurst.

You've got such a big heart.

- Thank you!

[laughter]

I've got a big everything, girl.

I actually only weigh 98 pounds.

The rest of this is liver.

- Ah!

[laughter]

- It's really a twist on

something that

is very religious,

and you are making it delightful

and campy

and really putting a spin on it.

- You have a great concept.

There's a amateurish quality

about it, but I love it.

I think it all works.

- Santa Claus,

meet the Virgin Mary.

- I think you're show business.

You're what it's about.

And you had a concept,

and you had an execution,

and you've been carrying

that baby longer

than Rose Kennedy

carried 12 children.

[laughter]

- I'm kind of surprised,

in some ways,

that you have

said such kind words.

You guys have sort

of renewed my faith today

in doing what you trust

in your heart.

- Thank you, Mimi.

Raja, you won

the photo challenge.

- Wow.

- Yeah.

- Flawless.

- It's obvious to me

you have incredible style.

You work this runway

like a supermodel.

- And you're not taking yourself

too seriously,

which kind of embodies, like,

the whole well-rounded,

like, drag superstar kind

of thing that we're going for.

- For me, it's what, like,

drag artistry is all about.

It's just doing something

unexpected

and creating it out of nothing.

- This is what I do, you know?

I'm a runway girl, I'm a model.

I'm Supermodel of the World,

the sequel,

I'd like to say.

[laughter]

- The only thing that I might

suggest is

that you project a little more

in your voice.

- I mean, I can certainly

speak louder,

but she's making me nervous,

so...

[giggles]

- Thank you, ladies.

Thank you, Bruce.

While you enjoy an Absolut

cocktail

in the Interior Illusions

Lounge,

the judges

and I will deliberate.

You may leave the stage.

Just between us "goils,"

what do you think?

Let's start with Carmen.

- Carmen brought bo-dy.

I'm still mesmerized

how she tucked all that stuff...

I don't know

where the heck it went,

but it was an amazing tuck.

The one thing I thought might

have lacked was her personality.

- Although, I'm sort of a sucker

for that "Joisey,"

you know, thing like dat,

you know.

- I wanted more Jersey.

I have no idea who Carmen is,

at this point, but a body.

- What about Manila Luzon?

- I think she is gorgeous.

She really embodied the spirit

of a winter wonderland.

- The only thing I might say is

she's funny and engaging

for a cocktail party

but not really

in an entertainment,

kind of showbiz-y kinda way.

- Right.

- Shangela Laquifa Wadley.

- I did think that her outfit

looked a little unfinished.

She could have done better.

- She kind of flubbed it.

- I don't know if Shangela

has the consistency

to make it further

in this competition.

- The personality supersedes

her tailoring skills.

I really wanna see some other

side of Shangela,

and it would be unfortunate

to send her home now.

- Venus D-Lite.

- She was a sad extra in some

kind of, you know, bad...

- It's a Horrible Life.

[laughter]

Her face is beautiful, but you

can't come out on the challenge

and the ponytail be the

highlight of your ensemble.

- That's true.

- Even though the outfit and

everything was very amateurish,

I was hoping she'd redeem

herself with her personality.

But she was inarticulate

and just wasn't engaging.

- Mimi Imfurst!

Her outfit was a little sloppy,

but it was effective.

- I thought it was hilarious

that she used something that's

so iconic and turned it into

something that was flirty

and funny.

- You know I live for camp drag,

but I'm really concerned that

that's her shtick

and that's what she falls on.

I wanna see if she can do

something else.

- Raja.

How 'bout that?

- She brings couture

and a sense of ownership

as soon as she stepped out

on the runway.

- Yes.

- And then the delight was

watching her drop to the ground

and being fun.

And that was

a great combination.

- I did wish she would project

her voice a little more

and kind of be a little more

in your face.

- Right, you not just look like

a supermodel...

- Act like one.

- Silence!

Bring back my girls.

Welcome back, ladies.

Let's get down to it.

Mimi Imfurst.

You showed us

that big girls do cry.

Now I'm really gonna give you

something to cry about.

Condragulatons.

You're safe.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

I just couldn't believe it.

I was for sure I was

in the bottom two.

I was for sure.

- Manila Luzon.

You have a muff to die for.

You're safe.

Condragulations.

Venus...

you were outshined

on the runway.

I'm sorry, my dear,

but you are up for elimination.

- When Ru said I was

in the bottom two, I was...

I was devastated.

- Raja.

With your photo, fashion,

and frolic in the snow...

you are the queen

who stole Christmas.

Condragulations.

You are the winner

of this challenge.

[applause]

And Raja, you receive immunity

from elimination next week.

Plus, you'll receive a $2,000

gift certificate from

SequinQueen.com.

That's SequinQueen.com.

- I'm so proud of myself.

I worked really hard, and

I was really focused about this.

And it feels really great.

- Carmen Carrera, you have

the body of death...

but do you have the k*ller

instinct it takes to win?

Shangela, I've given you

a second chance,

but your holiday presentation

left us a little frosty.

Carmen, you're safe.

- Thank you.

- Shangela, my dear,

you are up for elimination.

- I'm in disbelief.

A year later,

and here I am again,

in the bottom two.

- Two queens stand before me.

Prior to tonight,

you were asked

to prepare a lip-sync

performance

of Vanessa Williams'

The Right Stuff.

Ladies, this is your last chance

to impress me

to save yourself

from elimination.

The time has come for you

to lip-synch...

for your life!

Good luck, and don't...

f*ck it up.

[telephone rings]

- ♪ I was standin' at 7:15

Waitin' for my baby's car

Just then out stepped

The driver of the limousine

And asked if I was going far

I said

I've got my mind made up

I don't wanna leave him

Baby, 'cause it's clear

To me

- I really wanna be here.

I'm determined to fight

to be here.

- ♪ With the right stuff

The right stuff, baby

I don't wanna miss out

On the right stuff

You know with Mr. Right

Sing

- Venus gets physical.

But you know what?

Even when pushed,

you can't stop me.

- ♪ The right stuff, baby

I don't wanna miss out

On the right stuff

- Miss Venus throws her ponytail

to the back of the stage.

If she would have hit me

with that hair,

I probably would have

had to sock her.

- ♪ The right stuff

- The lip-synching is starting

to get a little violent.

- ♪ I don't wanna miss out

On the right stuff

- Shangela's lamp shade

has become a w*apon.

Na na na na na na oh

Wait a minute, wa-wa-wait

Wait a minute

- Shangela's doing what

she's supposed to be doing.

She's supposed to be

lip-synching and performing,

and Venus is just really

pouncing on her.

- ♪ I don't wanna miss out

On the right stuff

Have you got the stuff

Na na na na na

Hey hey hey

[cheers and applause]

- Wow.

- Ladies...

I must admit, that

made me feel uncomfortable.

I expect my queens to...

outshine each other,

not outgun each other.

But I have made my decision.

Shangela...

Shantay. You stay.

- Thank you.

Thank you very much.

[sniffling]

[crying]

- Venus D-Lite...

tonight you may be leaving

RuPaul's Drag Race ...

but you're returning

to the constellation

of great drag stars.

Shine on, Venus, shine on.

Now, sashay away.

- Thank you for this wonderful

experience

from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm happy, I'm sad,

I'm pissed off.

I think I should still be here.

I think I had a lot more

to bring to the table.

And I don't think I was given

that opportunity.

- Ladies,

now, this competition has raised

the bar on drag worldwide.

There's only one way to go,

and that's up.

So take me higher.

And remember,

if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell are you gonna

love somebody else?

Can I get an amen in here?

all: Amen.

- Let the music play.
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