05x03 - Draggle Rock

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on

Rupaul's Drag Race...

- Coco Montrese.

- Alyssa Edwards.

- We haven't spoken

in two years.

The pageant

tore our friendship apart.

- Alyssa and I will have

our moment later together,

'cause we need a moment.

- You'll be lip-synching

to the spoken word, darling.

- I think Lineysha

is going to struggle the most

because of the language barrier.

- This is not

Rupaul's Best Friend Race.

- No [bleep], Sherlock.

I'm not focused, because I have

so much going on in my head.

[choked up]

I'm not just a drag queen.

I'm a transgendered woman.

- One of you really

lip-smacked the competition.

Lineysha Sparx.

- [laughs]

- Monica Beverly Hillz...

Shante, you stay.

Serena Chacha...

sashay away.

[footsteps approach]

- [sighs]

- Chacha, adios, darling.

- We're back in the workroom,

and Serena went home.

Came a mess.

Left a mess.

- Ooh!

[laughter]

- As you can tell,

I am just very upset.

[laughs]

- "Keep hearing light."

What does that mean?

- "Bearing light."

- Oh.

- Oh, okay.

'Cause the only thing I was

hearing was "Sashay away."

[laughter]

- Well, on that note.

[sighs]

I'm happy I survived

the lip-synch.

And I let out a huge secret.

It really took a toll today,

and I just felt like,

you know what?

I can't hold

that secret no more.

- Yeah, seriously.

- Be proud.

- We all love you.

- We love you.

- So, speaking of secrets,

what the hell is going on

with you and Coco?

- Look, at the end of the day,

this, right here, I won.

- Mm.

- But who's in the picture?

- Miss Coco.

- I think you should ask Coco.

- I want to know the T

on what happened

between you and Alyssa...

- Oh, God.

- Because this has been

going on for so long.

- They crowned her

that night, you know?

And things happen, and...

obligations weren't fulfilled.

And it put us in a situation

where our friendship

was on the line.

- 'Cause you took her spot.

- Legally, I had to do that.

- Every story has two sides.

- With all the controversy

at Miss Gay America,

this is a personal vendetta

for myself.

I think it's time for me

to get this off my chest.

- The winner of

Rupaul's Drag Race

receives a sickening supply

of Colorevolution cosmetics,

a luxury trip

courtesy of alandchuck.travel,

headline Logo's Drag Race tour,

and a cash prize of $100,000.

And tonight,

extra special guest judges

Paulina Porizkova and Coco.

- Whoo!

- Whoo.

- Yay!

- [together]

Rolaskatox.

- It's a new day.

I'm walking into the workroom,

wondering what the hell

is about to happen.

No more groups.

- No.

- No more groups.

[siren blares]

- Ooh, girl!

You've got shemail.

Hey, my little ladyboys.

all: Hey.

- Growing up is so overrated,

and America's next

drag superstar

needs to really embrace

her inner child

if she's gonna become one fierce

mother-tucker.

This message was brought to you

by the letter T.

- Oh, my God.

- Yes.

- Oh.

- Hello, hello, hello.

[overlapping greetings]

Do you know what time it is?

all: No.

- It's time for the junior

drag superstar pageant!

- Oh!

[all exclaiming]

- Instantly, I'm thinking,

"A pageant?"

This is my gig, and I've been

quite successful at it.

- But, ladies, you won't be

the contestants.

You need to turn these boy toys

into cutie patooties.

[giggles]

[laughter]

Pick a partner.

- I looked to the left and said,

"Oh, hell no.

I'm not working with Alyssa."

- You've got 15 minutes.

The team with the most sickening

painted baby will win.

Ready, set, drag the children.

- Whoa!

- Oh!

- You know, we're all

considered kai kai now.

We have daughters

with another queen.

- Our girl's gonna win

grand supreme.

You just watch.

- Little flippers.

- [laughs]

- Don't mess it up,

or you won't get no go-go juice.

I immediately

turn into pageant mom.

Now, I never could make it

in the pageant scene

when I was a girl, so you're

so lucky you get to do this.

- Time's up.

Now, may I present the drag

superstars of tomorrow.

First up,

Roxxxy Andrews and Detox.

- Hi, I'm Rachel Zoe,

and this is our daughter,

Vaxeline Androxxx Zoe.

She just wants to go to Paris

every weekend and see the shows,

dressed in

all the finest couture.

And because I'm Rachel Zoe,

we allow that.

- [laughs]

- She's kind of a big deal.

[camera shutter snaps]

- I'd like to present

little Tina Lou Devereaux.

She wants to make makeup

and fashionable accessories

more accessible to young girls,

because it is never too young

to start upholding

the "Amurrican" ideal

of "femininitity".

[laughter]

- I couldn't have

said it better myself.

- Watermelon is decked out

in glitz,

glamour, and a flipper

she's able to grow into

for the years to come.

She's a world champion

watermelon seed spitter.

- [laughs]

- I present to you

our very own Savannah Lee.

She is a former Miss Mesquite,

Little Miss America.

Her platform in life

is world peace for all.

- Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

[applause]

- Now that's a modern family.

- I'd like everyone to meet

Lil' Pound Cake.

Her catchphrase is,

"You're not my real dad,

and you never will be."

- [laughing]

- Lil' Pound Cake

enjoys riding dirty

and being a straight-up

mother [bleep] [bleep] pig.

[laughter]

- [cackling]

- Monica and I have our

daughter, Patty Park Place.

She's won several pageants,

and unlike Savannah, she's

completed all of her reigns.

- Oh!

- Coco Montrese decides

to throw a little bit of shade

to be real cute.

I don't get cute.

I get drop-dead gorgeous.

[whispers] Shade.

- So, the miss junior

drag superstar is...

Lil' Pound Cake.

- Oh!

- All hail Lil' Pound Cake.

[camera shutter snaps]

Now, for this week's

main challenge,

you'll be creating lovable,

eccentric characters

for your own

kidster television shows.

[all exclaiming]

- Children's TV?

I'm like, "What the

mother [bleep] hell?"

- Your target audience

is the young

and the young at heart,

so your program

should be both entertaining

and "edumacational."

You'll be working in two groups.

Lineysha and Alaska, since

you won the mini-challenge,

you'll be team captains.

Lineysha, you pick first.

- Honey.

- Toxie.

- Coco Montrese.

- Hey, girl.

- Roxxx-an.

- Rolaskatox!

both: Rolaskatox!

[laughter]

- Jinkx.

- Vivienne.

- [nasal voice]

Ivy Winterrr.

[laughs]

[nasal voice]

Winterrrs.

- "Montica".

- Yay.

- All right, Lineysha.

Who do you choose next?

- [whispers indistinctly]

We were all in Lineysha's ear

saying, "Don't pick Alyssa."

- Jade.

- [whispers] Thank God.

- So Alyssa will go

to Alaska's team.

- Darling.

- I might have been picked last,

but honestly,

I ended up on the team

that I wanted to be on.

The queens of the competition.

- Gentlemen, start your engines.

And may the best woman win.

- I have a idea.

Why you can't make,

like, a muppet,

and take talking like,

"la la la la," and...

- Ohh.

- Ventriloquist?

- Ventriloquist, so...

- Yes, you,

and she's the little girl.

- Oh,

like a ventriloquist dummy.

- Girl, they 'bout to try

to send me home.

In the show in Vegas,

I'm the star.

So when you give me a role

like a ventriloquist doll...

- So what are some things

that we can talk about?

Um...

- Um...

- Now is the hard part.

We have to actually

come up with the material.

I'm trying to find out...figure

out how to make it funny.

- This is really, really hard.

- At some point,

I think Coco got frustrated

and kind of walked off.

- I want to wear my hair up.

I'll be glad when

the group challenges are over.

- I'm kind of panicking.

How are we gonna pull this off?

- Coming up...

It never occurred to me that

you'd actually be out of drag.

- I'm in drag, Ru.

- But you're in a male drag.

- I heard that you went around

everywhere and badmouthed me.

- [bleep] you, Alyssa.

- [laughing]

- So our challenge

is to put together

a children's television show

which is full of sneaky little

dirty double-entendres.

Our word of the day is "box."

This is the challenge

that I've been waiting for.

Finally we get to act

and we get to write

and we get to create.

I'm gonna be a farmer.

And we can each be,

like, a barnyard animal.

- I'll be the chicken lady.

- And you should be, like,

Venus Xtravaganza.

You should be her.

"Oh, you wanna talk about..."

both: "Reading, dahling."

- You can just be Uncle d*ck

the cross-dresser.

- Be, like,

real butch about it.

[rough voice]

Look at how pretty I am.

And not fishy.

- Really?

The cross-dressing uncle?

Girl, they're pulling the patch.

Can't be bothered.

Do you think

it would be more funny,

'cause she's fishier than me,

if she was the Uncle d*ck?

- I like you

as a cross-dresser.

I'm a little worried about

Alyssa because she's very much

into, "Oh,

Alyssa has to look this way,

and Alyssa

has to look that way."

And I hope that doesn't

hold us back.

- Hello, hello, hello.

[all shouting greetings]

Did I catch you boys

playing dress-up?

- Uh-huh.

- Well, hello, team Alaska.

all: Hi, Ru.

- How's it going over here?

- It's going.

- Who's gonna be your host?

- Hi.

- Now, what character

are you doing?

- Buffalo Bill.

- Oh, okay.

- And, um, it's a barnyard,

and our show is called something

like Barnyard Boogers.

- [laughs]

So who's doing

the word of the day?

- That's me.

- What is the word of the day?

- Box.

- Box?

- B-o-x.

- Of course.

And it's just now coming to me

how you can make...

- A lot of things

come in my box.

- [laughs] Yes, a lot of things

could come in your box, exactly.

[laughter]

Now, what are you kids doing?

- She's teaching the social

lesson of the day.

- Don't be throwing no shade.

- And how do you get kids

to not throw shade?

Well, you know,

the thing about these shows,

especially, like,

Pee-wee's Playhouse,

is that a lot

of what you're doing here

has a subversive twist to it.

Do you have a message

that you're trying to convey

to the children?

- Down with communism.

[laughter]

- Okay.

You guys have

a lot of work to do,

and I'm gonna let you

get back to it, okay?

- Thank you, Ru.

- All right, I'll see you later.

- Thank you, Ru.

- Hey, team Lineysha.

all: Hi.

- So tell me about your

kidster show.

Who's gonna do your "how to"

segment?

- Lineysha and myself.

- Oh, really?

- We are making banana splits.

- In two languages.

- What are you gonna do to

really send it over the top?

- It's gonna be funny.

[laughs]

- All right.

Are you the host?

- Yes, Lineysha asked me

to be the host.

- And which...

what part of the challenge

have you been assigned?

- Actually, Coco and I

are both doing

the social lesson

for the day.

- Which is what?

- It's "Always tell the T."

- Of course.

- T.T. and Tiny.

T.T.'s always teaching Tiny

to tell the T.

- Right.

Are you gonna be able

to bring the funny, though?

- I think we're gonna

focus more on quality

and not quantity.

- All right.

Well, you kids have a lot

to work with.

You've got a lot to do.

So I'm gonna let you

get back to it, okay?

- All right. Thanks, Ru.

- All right, turn it out.

- Thank you, Ru.

- We'll just have to show Ru

that we all can be funny.

- Look, do you like that look?

- You look like Willam.

- [laughs]

- Hello, ladies.

- Hi, Rupaul.

We're right about to sh**t

our TV show for kids,

and I'm feeling very excited,

because I really feel like

we're gonna nail it.

- It's funny, 'cause when

we talked in the workroom,

and you said Buffalo Bill,

it never occurred to me

that you'd actually

be out of drag.

- I'm in drag, Ru.

- But you're in a male drag.

That's an interesting choice.

- Here we go.

We're going to get read

before we even start?

Two thumbs down.

- All right, Michelle and I

are here to direct you.

So show us what you got.

Action.

- Look, everybody.

It's clucky the cock!

- [clucking]

It's our secret word of the day.

You want to hear what it is?

It's "box"!

- Whoa!

- [laughs]

- Cut.

Clucky, you're delivering

your lines to Buffalo Bill.

You've got to play

more to the camera.

Action.

- So many things

fit inside my box.

- [laughing]

- This is a petite box.

I don't think it's Michelle's.

- [guffaws]

- [squawking]

Boxes!

- [lisping]

I am so excited to be here!

I'm ready to toss

your salad, Anita.

First thing you want to do

is clean your lettuce.

- I like a cheesy salad.

- Cut. Vivienne...

- Yeah?

- If you can bring your energy

up to meet Roxxxy's...

- Okay.

- It feels like you're in

two different sketches.

- You get lost.

- [flat] Say, let's go get our

other friends to toss our salad.

- Moving on.

- It's real sunny up here,

but I do like

a little bit of shade.

- Can't you see

I'm trying to get some sun?

Sunlight on the skin...

Boom. I blank.

- Cut.

- Can't you see I'm trying

to get some sun on this skin?

Sunlight is, uh...

- Cut.

- Can't you see I'm trying

to get some sun?

Sunlight on the skin...

[bleep].

I'm, like, totally [bleep]

my [bleep] bathing suit.

And that's not cute.

- Monica, do you want to look

at the lines again?

- Yeah, they're right here.

- Oh, they are.

- And you're not reading it?

- All right, ladies.

Fantastic.

- When you're team captain,

if the whole thing

goes like a train wreck,

then it's you

who has to pay for it.

Ugh.

- Coming up...

- A nice, plump banana.

- En Espanol, guineo.

- Lineysha just literally

translated it.

- And this is my little friend.

Coco doesn't know

what her lines are.

- Is that it?

[laughing]

- We're walking on set to sh**t

our children's television show.

- And they are all in drag.

- Funny how that works

on Rupaul's Drag Race.

- Uh-huh.

- Comedy's kind of my thing,

so I'm really excited

to really shine.

- All right,

let's see your big opening.

- Are you guys excited

for today's episode?

The word of the day is...

"blow."

- Jinkx revealed my word, blow.

It kind of threw me off.

I had a speech ready,

and everything rhymed,

so I just had to scramble

and just kind of

come up with something quick.

If you think of blow,

I think of bubbles.

- Oh, look at all those bubbles

you're blowing!

- Blow.

[giggles]

- Cut.

Jade, it took you a little bit

longer to land the lines.

Get to the point

a little faster.

- Little aggravated.

- Action.

- Now, my favorite treat

is the banana split.

And the ingredients are a nice,

plump banana.

- En Espanol, guineo.

- Lineysha is not really

bringing the Latin flavor

that I thought

she was going to bring.

- Go ahead and cut that in half.

- En Espanol,

cortalo por la mitad.

- She just literally

translated it.

- Cherries.

- All right, moving on.

- Hello, everyone.

I'm T.T., and this

is my little friend...

we haven't even practiced.

Coco doesn't know

what her lines are.

- Jessica.

- All right, cut.

- Your timing is too slow.

You need to pick it up.

Coco, you need to be on it.

- Ready, and action.

- What's the T?

Why do they really

call you Tiny?

- 'Cause I'm small.

Yeah.

I'm a ventriloquist doll.

I don't know if I'm supposed

to look at the camera,

look away from the camera.

- Coco, think more Pinocchio

and less the puppet from Saw.

- Do you have something

that you'd like to say?

- Is that it?

- That's it.

- All right.

Do you have any notes?

- Nope.

- Okay, that's a wrap.

all: Rolaskatox.

- It's elimination day, and

today's theme for the runway

is "think pink".

Jinkx.

- Mm-hmm?

- Are you gonna

add that hair into that hair?

- Yeah.

My grandma got me this wig

when I was, like, 17.

- So your grandma

was buying you wigs, girl?

- My mom wasn't really into it.

- Uh-huh.

- But my grandma and I

would be getting me in drag,

and then I'd go out to the club.

She'd let me be

who I wanted to be, you know?

My grandma made it possible

for me to do drag

at a very early age.

And that's when I really started

coming alive.

She helped set up my life

to put me where I am today.

So it has a lot of sentimental

value to me.

- I feel so mentally drained

right now.

I'm trying to finish my costume,

and this whole Alyssa thing,

it's still bothering me.

We competed at Miss Gay America

together.

- Huh?

- They crowned her.

I ended up having

to take over the title.

We haven't talked in two years.

- Coco, if you want to come talk

to me, you can talk to me,

but you don't have to read me

over there, though.

- I'm not reading you.

I'm not saying

anything about you.

I've got to get this

off my back.

This needs to be done.

Can I talk to you, like,

five minutes, just me and you?

- Oh, [bleep], this is gonna get

[bleep] interesting.

Let me get some popcorn.

- It was pure hell.

- Okay.

- How would you feel

if you're standing onstage

with a crown on your head,

singing your song,

and someone yells out,

"You ain't the real

Miss America anyway!"

I just smile and wave.

In the inside, I am torn.

I almost lost my relationship

because of that whole thing.

That whole thing

turned my world upside-down.

- Well, I lost

my whole reputation

I'd worked ten years for.

[chuckles]

He didn't win Miss Gay America.

I did.

So he wasn't the one embarrassed

in front of the whole community.

I was. I'm the very first

to get dethroned.

Nobody gets dethroned.

I'm not a drug addict.

I'm not an alcoholic.

I'm a teacher.

I'm a mentor. I'm a leader.

But, Coco, I heard

that you went around everywhere

and badmouthed me, saying

I couldn't fulfill my reign.

You got on your face...hold on.

Let me finish.

But, see, you're doing all that,

and you're not even

being fair to me.

- I am being fair to you.

I'm listening to you.

- Girl, you are saying, "I'm on

the beach drinking a margarita.

I'm the one with the crown.

I'm the one."

- I don't...I...

- Why did you write

on your Facebook,

"Alyssa shouldn't have won

in the first place"?

Do you feel like

that was a hit below the belt?

- [crying] I laid in bed next

to my husband, and, like, God...

he's like,

"What is wrong with you?"

And I can't...I couldn't take it.

And...

- And then the tears come out.

Coco is doing what he does best.

He's making it seem like

he's the victim.

He's always the victim.

And the Academy Award goes to...

- [bleep] you, Alyssa.

- I gave him the benefit of

the doubt and got nothing back.

- This whole thing

was not resolved.

I'm done with that situation.

I got to get ready

for the runway.

- [laughing]

Welcome to the main stage of

Rupaul's Drag Race.

Michelle Visage,

won't you be my neighbor?

- Always, my little lemon drop.

- [laughs]

Santino Rice.

- I am ready to school

these children.

- I look at her here,

and I see seductive.

I look at her hair,

and I see wicked beauty.

Paulina Porizkova.

- I am so glad to be here.

I've been trying to get on your

damn show for five years now.

[laughter]

- Mrs. T's in the house.

Coco.

Rupaul loves Coco too.

- I love Rupaul.

- [laughs]

This week,

our queens were challenged

to create breakout characters

in their own

kidster television shows.

And tonight, they're dressed

to tickle you pink.

- Whoo.

- Gentlemen, start your engines.

And may the best woman win.

Coming up...

- You committed the number one

crime in showbiz...

you bored me.

- [laughing]

First up, the 49th state,

Alaska.

So pink mafia.

- I look like a ghost

from the Civil w*r.

A McQueen fashion show.

- She bleeds pink.

- She's a sex p*stol.

- Monica Beverly Hillz.

Someone caught the bouquet.

- I'm feeling extra fishy.

My nails are right.

My hair's tight.

I'm just giving it.

- This is very

Singapore Airlines.

- Come fly with me.

- Alyssa Edwards.

- I want that outfit.

- I am channeling

my Little Miss Perfect gig.

It's the deal. It's the ish.

- Madonna reborn again.

- Yes.

- Vivienne Pinay.

- Hold me closer, tiny dancer.

[laughter]

- I'm feeling cute,

prissy, and girly.

And the judges

are really eating it up.

- Ooh.

- I think I just saw

her pink slip.

[laughter]

Next up, Detox.

- This is

Playboy: The Victorian Years.

- My tits are bouncing

everywhere.

I mean, I have a great body,

so why not show it off?

- Okay, no kidding,

I have this outfit.

- [laughs]

- She is a hot mesh.

Roxxxy Andrews.

- Bam.

- Pink Panther on the runway.

- The dress is flowing.

I look drop-dead gorgeous.

- It's a mullet dress!

- [laughs]

- Uh-huh.

- Business in the front,

party in the back.

- Lineysha Sparx.

Sell the garment, honey.

- I feel so fierce, flawless,

like a top model.

- Looks like Cinderella's

got a hot date.

Jinkx Monsoon.

- Ooh, la, la.

- Oh, Dangerous Liaisons.

- I am flouncing

down the runway

with my snuff box,

let them eat all this cake,

b*tches.

- Marie Aqua Net.

[laughter]

- Coco Montrese.

- Shirley Temple Black?

- Why it got to be black?

- I am giving you

your baby doll fish.

I look so cute.

- I didn't know

she was into bears.

[laughter]

[nasal voice]

Ivy Winterrrs.

- Where is Crystal Conner

when you need her?

- Yes.

- I'm strutting

like a Vegas showgirl.

I feel like

a beautiful flamingo.

- You can just stick her

in somebody's front lawn.

[laughter]

- Honey Mahogany.

- She just jumped out of bed

and grabbed the duvet cover.

- Very Bed Bath and Beyonce.

- [laughs]

- I am feeling really strong,

pummeling the runway.

- That face is Iman...

- Yes.

- But that walk

is pure pissed off.

[laughter]

- Jade Jolie.

- Work it.

- Very Girls Next Door

Holly Madison.

- I'm feeling so pretty in pink.

I'm serving the judges

pure fish, hunty.

- [laughs]

- Barbie girl in a Barbie world.

- Life in plastic,

it's fantastic.

- Welcome, ladies.

Let's take a look

at your kidster TV shows.

First up, Barnyard Buddies.

[cow moos, cow bell clanks]

- Hi, everybody!

I'm Buffalo Bill.

Let's meet

some of my amazing friends.

- [clucks]

- Look, everybody!

It's clucky the cock!

- [clucking]

Hi, kids!

- Now, I heard

you're sitting on a secret.

- It's our

secret word of the day.

Shh.

It's "box"!

- Whoa!

[laughter]

- Can I borrow your horse?

- Yeah, sure, clucky.

- Let's try to cram it

in the box!

- Cram it in! Yeah!

- Your horse won't fit

in the box!

[kids giggling]

Your horse is just too big

for my pink box!

[kids laughing]

- Look, everybody.

It's Anita Bum!

- Today we're gonna learn

how to toss salad

with my good friend,

Tasha Salad.

- [lisping] I'm so excited

to be here today.

Well, let's get started.

First thing you want to do

is clean your lettuce.

- Now, is it harmful

to toss a dirty salad?

- Some people are into that.

- Instead of using

the uncut carrots,

can we use the cut carrots?

- Yes. What you want to do is

peel the skin back.

Cut carrots always seem

to be cleaner. Okay?

We're tossing salads one person

at a time across America.

[kids cheer]

- What's up, Fanny?

- Today I'm going to be...

teaching a social lesson.

Don't be throwing no shade.

- Look, it's everyone's

favorite cross-dresser,

Uncle d*ck!

- It's real sunny up here.

But I do like

a little bit of shade.

- Don't be throwing

no shade, sir.

Can't you see

I'm trying to get some sun?

Sunlight on your skin

creates vitamin D

and elevates the mood, so...

all: Don't be shady.

Be a lady.

- Bye-bye, everybody!

- [clucks]

- Bye!

[laughter and applause]

- Next up, The Magic Bush.

- My name is Princess Pinklips.

Are you guys excited

for today's episode?

Then let's all bounce.

And now shake your hands

like this.

Ooh, isn't this fun?

Oh!

Today we have a special word of

the day.

The word of the day is...

"blow."

- I always think of bubbles.

Now with bubbles,

you really work it.

Just give it your all.

Kind of like an expl*si*n

of bubbles.

- You're so good at blowing,

Jolly Jade.

- Well, I don't have blue lips

for no reason.

[laughter]

- Next we're going to welcome

Cherry Chocolatina

and Lola the Exploda.

- Now, my favorite treat

is the banana split.

Now, go ahead

and peel the banana.

- Suavemente, vas a pelar

para atras el guineo.

- Oh.

- Ooh.

- Ooh, Miss Lola's

favorite part is the cream.

- [panting]

Help me, girl.

[both panting and murmuring]

- Ooh! Oh!

- Oh!

- Wow.

- It exploded!

- Hello, everyone.

I'm T.T.,

and this is my little friend.

- Tiny.

- That reminds me.

It's time for

our social lesson of the day.

Always tell the T.

- Is my T my truth?

- Yes, your T is your truth.

Do you have something

that you'd like to say?

- Uh-uh.

[awkward silence]

[solo clapping]

- All right.

- I think there were

some weak links,

but I think there were some weak

links in the other team too.

At least this team's

all in drag.

- Coming up...

- You're gonna get lost,

'cause there's some

hungry b*tches up here.

- This is Rupaul's Drag Race.

- Not Rupaul's Best Friend

Out Of Drag Race.

[laughing]

Ladies, this week

you worked as teams,

but tonight, you'll be judged

as individuals.

When I call your name,

please step forward.

Honey Mahogany.

Ivy Winters.

Jade Jolie.

Alyssa Edwards.

Lineysha Sparx.

Lineysha, you're lucky

you have immunity.

Otherwise,

you'd be in the bottom.

The girls I've called forward,

you are all safe.

You may leave the stage.

Ladies, you represent

the very best

and the very worst of the week.

It's time for

the judges' critiques.

First up, Alaska.

- Hi.

- I love your dust bunny hair,

and I love your

pink splattered blood.

You are such an original.

- Tonight on the runway,

I love it.

I'm just concerned for you

with the boy-drag.

It is a drag show.

You know, I'm paying my $5.

I want to see Alaska.

- Next up,

Monica Beverly Hillz.

- I don't know if

during the Barnyard Bunch

you just got nervous,

but you need to project more,

or you're gonna get lost,

'cause there's some

hungry b*tches up here.

- It's inside of you.

I could see that...

that Beverly Hills bitch...

when you walked out.

But then you kind of went

in your shell after a while.

- Thank you, Monica.

Vivienne Pinay.

- Tonight you look really cute.

It's unfortunate that

you created that character

and then that it

kind of fell so flat.

- You committed the number one

crime in showbiz...

you bored me.

- Moving on to...

♪ Detox ♪

- Your costume wasn't

my favorite part of you.

It was really just,

like, your jokes

and your mannerisms

and your volume.

- You rock the stage.

You rock it in acting.

I really like the shake

in the boobies.

Yeah, thank you.

- I know I had a lot of

competition up here tonight...

- Yes, right?

- Up next, Roxxxy Andrews.

- You float above the concrete.

- Thank you.

- I love it.

- Tasha salad was freaking

hilar.

- Jinkx Monsoon.

- Jinkx, you're the North Star

in your little group,

because they would've been lost

without you.

Looking like Glenn Close

in Fatal Attraction

for a kids' show?

I mean, that in itself

is completely demented.

- Coco Montrese.

- This was not your challenge.

I can't really tell you why.

- They wanted me

to be a marionette,

and I was just supposed

to answer the question.

And that's not me.

In the show in Vegas, I am the...

I'm the front. I'm the star.

- If you are good

at being in the spotlight,

you should know how to steal it.

- There's been a lot on my mind.

- What's on your mind?

- [tearful]

Alyssa's my friend.

We didn't talk for two years.

And...

Coming here and seeing her here

completely threw me off.

And I don't feel like

I'm showing you who...

who I really am,

'cause I'm better than that.

- I know there's distractions,

but, Coco, keep your head

in the game

and be Coco.

All right, ladies.

I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck in

the Interior Illusions Lounge,

the judges and I

will deliberate.

Okay, just between us "goyls,"

what do you think?

Starting with Roxxxy Andrews.

- She's absolutely a stunner.

The hair color.

J.Lo wishes.

- Yes.

What did you think of her

performance as Tasha Salad?

- There is nothing

more attractive

than seeing a beautiful woman

dare to be ugly.

- Uh-huh.

- I expect some good stuff

out of that one.

- Next up, Alaska.

Now, Michelle, you and I

both looked at each other

when Alaska came out

dressed as a man...

- Mm-hmm.

- And thought, "What the F?"

- It really was

just Pee-wee Herman.

- Yeah, that's true.

- And this is

Rupaul's Drag Race.

- Not Rupaul's Best Friend

Out Of Drag Race.

- Okay.

- Alaska, to me,

he doesn't stand out.

He's, like, someone I would

hang out with in high school.

- What high school

did you go to?

- Well, I mean, I was

a homeschooler, but, um...

[laughter]

- Monica Beverly Hillz.

- Who was she again?

- She played Fanny

the farm hand...sunglasses.

- Oh, well, see,

that's how memorable she was.

- Well, there you go.

- She was such a nervous wreck.

You can never let them

see you sweat.

- She's stopping herself.

- Exactly, the calls are coming

from inside the house.

Vivienne Pinay.

- Anita Bum was forgettable.

- Right,

'cause if she was Anita Bum,

she could've been really hyper,

like, you know, um, yeah, um...

She could've gone for it,

you know?

- When I see a Plain Jane,

kind of like her...

'cause she is boring...

I like to do them up.

- Turn her out.

- Turn her out!

That's what I love to do.

- Detox.

- Kids would love watching

Clucky the cock.

- I see Faye Dunaway had a child

with Anjelica Huston,

and then she lost

all her fashion sense

and started wearing clothes

with holes in them.

- Yes.

- Sorry, Coco.

[laughter]

- Jinkxy Monsoon.

- She got me in the mood.

Like, I was singing with her.

I was raising my hands.

- Oh, right.

- I was a little girl.

- She was the only reason

that team stayed afloat.

- Coco Montrese.

- She had an issue with,

you know,

not getting the right part,

but you have to take lemons

and make lemonade.

- Blaming your shortcomings

on somebody else?

- Mm-hmm.

- Please.

- And you know, Santino,

playing the dummy can be

a real scene-stealing role,

right, Michelle?

[laughter]

I mean...

- [guffawing]

- You know I love you, and I

only say it 'cause it's true.

- Yeah.

- I was just telling everybody

how much nicer

you were than Tyra.

[laughter]

- Silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back...

[whispers] My girls.

[laughing]

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Roxxxy Andrews,

your portrayal

of Tasha Salad was,

in a word,

[lisping] sensational.

You are safe.

Jinkx Monsoon.

You're safe.

- Thank you.

- Monica Beverly Hillz.

Your kidster character

was not after-school special.

I'm sorry, my dear, but you are

up for elimination.

Detox, your Clucky the cock...

bl-bl-bl-blocked...

The competition.

Condragulations, you are the

winner of this week's challenge.

[applause]

You've won a wig wardrobe

from new attitude wigs.

- I won the challenge!

♪ Fantastic ♪

- Alaska, your choice

to perform as a boy...

[sighs]

was a real drag.

You are...

safe.

Coco, your ventriloquist act

could have been hilarious,

but your performance was wooden.

Vivienne Pinay.

America's next drag superstar

has to be more than just pretty.

Much more.

Vivienne...

you...

are safe.

But consider this a warning.

Coco Montrese,

I'm sorry, my dear,

but you are up for elimination.

- I cannot believe

I'm up for elimination.

Is this really happening?

I'm not ready to go home.

- Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your

last chance to impress me

and save yourself

from elimination.

The time has come...

for you to lip-sync...

for your life.

- Bitch, win or lose, let's go.

- Good luck...

and don't [bleep] it up.

- ♪ Boys call you sexy ♪

- ♪ What's up, sexy? ♪

- ♪ And you don't care ♪

♪ What they say ♪

♪ See, every time ♪

♪ You turn around ♪

♪ They screaming your name ♪

- ♪ Don't y'all ♪

- ♪ Now I've got a confession ♪

♪ Ha ha ha ha ♪

♪ When I was young ♪

♪ I wanted attention ♪

♪ Ha ha ha ha ♪

- Mama ain't going that easy.

I gotta pull it out and let Ru

know why I should be here.

So here goes.

- ♪ When I grow up ♪

♪ I want to be famous ♪

♪ I wanna be a star ♪

♪ I want to be in movies ♪

- We're all kind of like,

"Oh, my gosh."

Coco's serving it up.

- ♪ People know me ♪

♪ Be on magazines ♪

♪ When I grow up♪

♪ Fresh and clean ♪

♪ Number one chick ♪

♪ When I step out on the scene ♪

♪ But be careful ♪

- Monica doesn't seem

to have much energy.

She just didn't seem

to have that will

to lip-sync for her life.

- ♪ I see them staring at me ♪

♪ Ooh I'm a trendsetter ♪

♪ Yes, this is true ♪

♪ 'Cause what I do ♪

♪ No one can do it better ♪

♪ You can talk about me ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a hot topic ♪

♪ I see you watching me ♪

♪ Watching me ♪

♪ And I know you want it ♪

♪ When I grow up ♪

♪ I want to be famous ♪

♪ I wanna be a star ♪

♪ I want to be in movies ♪

♪ When I grow up ♪

♪ I want to see the world ♪

♪ Drive nice cars ♪

♪ I want to have boobies ♪

♪ But be careful ♪

♪ What you wish for ♪

♪ 'Cause you just might get it ♪

♪ 'Cause you just might get it ♪

♪ Get it? ♪

[applause]

- [mouths words]

- Ladies,

I've made my decision.

Coco Montrese...

Shante, you stay.

You may join the other girls.

- Thank you.

- Monica,

you came here with a secret.

And the secret is

you are fierce and talented.

Go share that with the world.

- [crying] Thank you

for believing in me.

Thank you for seeing something

in me that I never saw.

[sniffles]

- Thank you.

- I love you.

Thank you so much.

- We love you.

Now sashay away.

- I had a hard time

opening up to the girls.

I've always had that problem.

It did hold me back

in this competition.

But I am fierce.

And I need to just step back

and be okay with that.

- 11 queens, 1 crown.

Now, remember,

if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna

love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

all: Amen!

- All right,

now let the music play!