05x09 - Drama Queens

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on

RuPaul's Drag Race...

- Coco Montrese.

- Alyssa Edwards.

- The pageant

tore our friendship apart.

- Alyssa and I will have

our moment later.

- Jinkx, on the runway,

I think you should have prepared

more than one look.

- Every week I've done

a different look.

- Bullshit.

Jinkx, she's all comedy

and no glamour.

- You will be creating

your own signature fragrance.

- My fragrance is called

Alyssa's Secret.

- What is Alyssa's secret?

- Son of a bitch.

- Can we see your background?

- New York City.

- Uh, that's Tokyo.

- Oh, is it?

- I have a crush

on Ivy Winters.

- [gasps]

- Red, for filth.

Are you red-y for me?

- Alaska, you're the winner

of this challenge.

- Ha-ha!

- Alyssa Edwards,

shantay, you stay.

Ivy, sashay away.

- Aw, Ivy Winters.

- "I love you girls so much.

You always have a friend in me."

- Girl, she is

an amazing person.

- Yeah.

- Amazing, amazing.

Ivy and I were really connecting

and really feeling very close.

And the person who's been

such a good friend to me

is now gone.

- Coco, now I know

what it feels like

to be in the bottom,

twice.

- Was it horrifying

being up there again?

- No, I'm a performer, baby.

This is what I do.

So if I have to

lip sync for my life

all the way to the final,

I'll do what I got to do.

- So what you're saying

to me is,

"Well, it doesn't matter

about the challenges.

If I fall short every time,

I'll just lip sync my way back."

- I'm confident about

performance.

I'm not confident in my acting.

That horrible cologne commercial

and that Katy Perry and that...

- But those are our challenges.

- Listen, let me explain

something to you.

- No, you're not my mama,

don't explain nothing to me,

sweetie.

- Some people should just

call a spade a spade

and say,

"Hey, I like competition.

I just don't like the work

that comes along with it."

- Coco, you and I need to talk

about something too.

Something that keeps getting

said to me and to Alaska.

I feel like I've been labeled

as a comedy queen

in a belittling way, and...

- Oh, my God.

- There's a double standard

going on right now.

When I do well

in the challenges,

they just kind of

roll their eyes

because I don't have

their respect.

I am working just as hard as

anyone else here at everything.

- Jinkx...

- And to say that you're just

a comedy queen is belittling...

- Jinkx...

- Something I have made my whole

career on...I am talking.

It is something

I work very hard at.

- How many times have y'all

called us pageant queens?

- Jinkx, I told you the same

thing when you brung this up.

That you said "pageant queen."

- That's all I had to say.

- Oh.

- These pageant girls

keep telling me,

"I don't want to be a pageant

girl for the rest of my life."

Well, then, f*cking stop

calling me the comedy queen.

I'm sick of that.

- Of course, the pageant girls

are going to discount

the comedy freaks.

The best revenge

is just to do better.

- ♪ RuPaul Drag Race ♪

- The winner of

RuPaul's Drag Race

receives a sickening supply

of Colorevolution cosmetics,

a luxury trip courtesy of

alandchuck.travel,

headline Logos Drag Race tour

featuring Absolut vodka...

cocktails perfected...

and a cash prize of $100,000.

And tonight,

extra special guest judges,

Maria Conchita Alonso

and Jamie-Lynn Sigler.

- ♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪

- Yay.

[overlapping chatter]

- Good "mornting."

- This morning, I'm kind of

on pins and needles.

Everyone else is just out

for themselves.

I hope we get to do a challenge

and not be in a group.

[siren blares]

- Ooh, girl!

You've got shemail.

Like sands

through the hourglass,

so are your days

at RuPaul's Drag Race.

Escandalo!

To become America's next

drag superstar,

you need to deliver the drama,

mama.

Adios, muchachas.

- All: Ooh.

- Hello, hello, hello.

[overlapping greetings]

For today's mini-challenge,

we're going to play

the crying game...

- Oh, no.

- Where you need to cry on cue.

Tears.

So put on some mascara

and meet me

in the sharing circle.

Alaska,

cry me a river.

- Sebastian and I were wed,

but suddenly, last summer,

everything changed.

- It was my first dance recital

ever.

I waved bye to Grandma.

Bye.

- I knew that one day

I wanted to become a woman.

[sobs]

- I know this will be

hard to believe,

seeing as I'm the most polished,

prettiest drag queen here.

- Being an Orange County

housewife...

is not as glamorous

as it seems.

My husband,

he was addicted to sex.

- It gets so hard

being called the bearded lady.

[sobs]

- Separate rooms

on our second honeymoon.

[sobbing]

Oh, God.

- There's nothing more sad

than the tears of a drag queen.

- Maybe it's just time for me

to go home

to Seattle.

- Jinkx was supposed to be

making me cry,

but she was making me laugh.

[laughs]

- [sobs]

- I gave that man everything

I had.

- Detox.

- Um, I'm not gonna lie.

I'm having a hard time

with this challenge.

It's hard for me to even try to

be in character right now.

I really want to be

just completely honest

and just say how difficult

this is.

[sniffles]

I lost my boyfriend

two years ago...

and looking around the room

and seeing

mournful-looking characters,

and I feel like I felt

the day that I saw him dead.

And it's really hard for me

to try to stay out of that

right now.

[sniffles]

[sobs]

I'm not used to being

so vulnerable

and looking so vulnerable,

and I feel very uncomfortable.

- Thank you for sharing

your story.

- I'm so glad that she is

sharing her story.

And it's never something

that's gonna get easy.

But something that every time

you talk about,

will make it easier.

- Okay, girls,

no more tears.

Ladies, thanks again

for sharing.

The two winners of today's

mini-challenge are...

Detox and Alyssa.

Condragulations.

[applause]

For this week's main challenge,

you'll be starring

in two primetime soaps.

And you'll be doing it...

telenovela style.

- Son of a bitch.

And it's another

acting challenge.

- One script is Casa de Locas.

House of the Crazies.

The other, Ella No es Dama.

She's No Lady.

Detox and Alyssa.

First, you need to pick

your cast.

Detox.

- Roxxxy.

- Como?

[laughter]

- Alyssa.

- Jinkx.

- All right, Detox.

- You know I love you, Coco,

but I have to reform Rolaskatox.

- Por que?

Ay, dios mio.

[laughter]

- Uh-oh, I don't want the judges

to see me relying

on the crutch of a clique.

- So that means, Coco,

you're with Alyssa.

- After all that drama with

Coco, Jinkx, and me,

we're all on the same team.

Go team Alyssa.

- Caballeros,

start your engines.

And may the best mujer win.

[all shouting el grito]

- This is the first time that

members of Rolaskatox are

working together

since I sort of decided that

we should all be free agents.

- [Italian accent]

We are now r-r-r-rich!

- You're so Italian.

- Muy r-r-r-rico.

[both laughing]

- That was perfect.

- It's terrible.

- Sometimes Detox's

sense of humor

gets in the way of

taking the things

that need to be taken seriously

serious.

- Michelle already warned you.

Cliques can be dangerous.

That reunion of Rolaskatox might

be broken up real fast.

- Coming up...

You cast Coco as the ugly,

stupid maid?

- Yes.

- You look beautiful, Detox.

- Ah!

- [laughing]

- [laughing]

- Oh, my God, that's sickening,

miss thing!

You have to use it.

- Today's main challenge is

serving up telenovela realness.

Oh, my God, I love it.

[trills]

- All: Vaya con dios.

- Telenovela is very loud

and in your face and dramatic.

- Muerte.

- And I am carrying his baby.

- [whispering indistinctly]

- Alyssa's not an actress,

but I guess like she said,

"I'll be bad in every challenge

and just get by

on the lip sync."

- I have the same disease!

I'm gonna be real drama there.

- You got to really, like,

bring it in,

'cause you rushing it like,

"I have the same disease!"

- I think Coco is definitely

trying to throw me off my game,

and I have to zone her out.

- Hola, hola, hola.

[overlapping greetings]

Donde esta el drama?

- All: Aqui, aqui, aqui, aqui.

- Hello, team Alyssa.

- La casa de locas.

- Yeah.

So what role are you playing,

Alyssa?

- I am playing a glamorous

woman of the house.

The ruler.

- Uh-huh.

- And Jinkx is my 18-year-old

virginal daughter.

So you cast Coco as the ugly,

stupid maid?

- Yes.

- Coco, in the past,

you and Alyssa

have had your differences.

Have you guys worked through

that?

- No.

- Well, I'm just trying to gauge

how close you guys were

and how big this rift was.

- We were close.

- I'm thinking The Turning Point

with Anne Bancroft

and Shirley MacLaine.

- Let's do Tyra Banks

and Naomi Campbell.

- Oh, okay.

- Oh, I'm Tyra Banks.

- Can I hear a little bit of it?

- Mamacita, mamacita,

Pablo asked me

to mar-r-r-ry him.

- Wait a minute,

is she Italian or is she...

- Oh, is it coming off Italian?

- Yeah, a little bit.

- Have I been Italian

this whole time?

[laughter]

- If you hear the names of food,

you will violently orgasm.

Read my lines.

[laughs]

- You got a lot of lines

to memorize.

You know, we're down

to six girls now,

and the stakes are very high,

all right?

- Thank you.

- I'm gonna let you

get back to it.

Adios.

- Thanks, Ru.

- Adios.

- Team Detox.

Oh, my goodness.

- Hi, Ru.

- So you're playing

the young ingenue.

- Yes, I am the virginal



I think we know

why I'm a virgin.

[laughter]

- Now, Detox, you reunited

Rolaskatox.

- Uh-huh.

- Is that a good idea?

Could it be a little bit of

a easy crutch?

- We just are so full

of personality,

and we have a lot of fun

working together.

- Well, you know,

it's great to have fun,

but you also need to take

this challenge seriously.

Now, Alaska, what are you

worried about in this challenge?

- If every line is over the top,

then it's like, the really,

like, zinger lines lose their...

- I have to take this off.

[laughter]

- Now, Detox,

on the main stage,

the criticism you get is that

we're getting "B" plus.

We want "A" plus from you.

And I'm just interested that

you're going to take it to that

place wearing a mask.

- Whatchu talkin' 'bout,

Willis?

- This is getting down

to the wire.

Somebody's gonna go home.

And you got to make sure

it's not you.

- Right.

- You got a lot of work to do.

Get at it.

- All right, ladies,

gather around.

In a moment, you'll head

to the telenovela set,

and tomorrow on the main stage,

the category is...

Latina lamorosa extravaganza.

- Ooh.

- Senoritas.

Good luck

and don't f*ck it up.

Bye, eses.

- Her critique was about

this mask.

I don't feel it anymore.

- Girl, I've been read too many

times for wearing masks.

- Yeah.

- I've been working with

this mask the whole day.

- I always listen to critiques,

and she told us that

for a reason.

- I think that people are taking

this whole mask thing

a little bit too seriously.

- So we're good on costumes?

- Uh, pretty much.

- Do you think I should wear

this dress, Jinkx?

The gold one.

- Now she's just going through

my wardrobe.

- I don't know what's going on

with Alyssa.

She's over in Jinkx's wardrobe,

trying to find something to wear

for the challenge?

Good luck with that.

- Ow, f*ck!

- What are you doing?

- I just stabbed myself.

Girl, all tea, all shade,

the dress doesn't fit.

- [sighs]

- You've got a ton of...

- Bull fantasy fat.

- Alyssa, for a pageant girl,

she sure didn't bring

no clothes.

I think it's time for her to go.

And I don't think I'm the only

one that feels that way.

- Coming up...

Meet your handsome leading man.

- What?

- [screams]

- [moans]

- That's your orgasm, Alyssa?

- Have you ever had one?

- [laughing]

- [laughing]

- Team Detox.

Hola, como esta?

- Oh!

- My group is just about to

start sh**ting our telenovela,

and we're ready to blow it out

of the f*cking park.

- Welcome to this lavish set,

furnished by Form Decor.

And say hello

to Maria Conchita Alonso.

- Que bonitas.

[overlapping greetings]

- And, ladies, meet your

handsome leading man...

Wilmer Valderrama.

- What?

[screaming]

Shut up!

- He is so gorgeous.

I want to have his babies.

- All right.

Accion.

- Diego.

Que paso?

- He is dead.

And now we must determine which

one of us k*lled him.

- I couldn't k*ll him.

Diego loved me.

And...

I gave him my virginity.

[all gasping]

And...

- Cut.

Try to keep the pace up.

Accion.

- Bring us the poison.

[glass clinking]

Our poison bit is going on

a long time.

Roxxxy and I are sort of

standing there like...

- Cut.

When you're serving it,

you don't really

have to be serving three

because we can't see that

you're going one, two, three.

- Okay.

- So to make it faster, just...

you know?

- Oh, okay, so...okay.

- Ladies, let's get into

your positions.

Now, Roxxxy, are you inching

over to Wilmer's crotch?

- Only my hand,

but you can't see it, right?

[laughter]

- Horn dog.

- Action.

- [gasps]

- [grunts]

- [gasps]

- Agh!

- Cut.

Could we tighten up

the slapping?

It looked a little,

you know...

- Both: [grunt]

- Agh!

- Cut.

Okay.

Ladies, you're fine.

- What?

- Thank you very much.

- Bye, Wilmer.

- Team Alyssa.

Como esta?

- Muy bien.

- Si.

- We're prepared,

and we are prepared

to take this set by storm

and really deliver the drama.

- Accion.

- [gasps]

- It is I who cast the spell.

- You are muy estupida

if you think you are going to

take over our familia.

I am serving up

some Sofia "Vergar-r-a-rasa"

realness.

When I'm not talking,

I want to be reacting to what

other people are saying.

- Maria, I have some bad news.

If you hear the names of food,

you will orgasm so violently.

- Chimichanga.

- Ah, oh!

Ay, ay, si, si!

Si, si!

- Nacho grande!

- Ah!

- Ay, ay!

- Oh, oh!

[gasping]

- Cut.

When Jinkxy is doing the orgasm,

Alyssa, you need to at least

match

what Jinkx is doing.

- Okay.

- Ah, come on, Alyssa,

I really, really want you

to pull this off.

We are a team.

- And it's supposed to be

an orgasm, so, you know...

- Yeah.

I was trying to be like

a 48-year-old having it.

- Yeah, but you also want to

steal the scene, you know.

- Yeah, okay.

- Chimichanga.

- [moaning exaggeratedly]

- [whimpering]

- Whoever Alyssa is sleeping

with

is apparently

not doing their job.

- [sobbing]

No!

- And cut.

That's your orgasm, Alyssa?

- Have you ever had one?

- Yeah.

I'm feeling so insecure,

and it's frustrating

because I want to be so fierce

and so sickening,

and I'm not.

- Action.

- Have you seen Maria

or her mother?

- No esta aqui.

- Cut.

- No estan.

- No estan.

- Aqui.

- Aqui.

- Yes.

- No estan aqui.

They are...

Oh, my God.

Wilmer.

Ooh.

- Cut.

- I looked at him,

and I forgot my line.

- Would you like to have dinner

with me?

- [purrs]

I forgot my line, Ru.

- That's not gonna do anything

for us as a group.

I'm nervous because

I don't want my very best

to be overshadowed

by someone else's very worst.

- That's a wrap.

[energetic salsa music]

- Ooh.

- Get ready for the kraken.

- Get ready for the kraken,

darling.

- Coming into tonight's

elimination,

we're all on pins and needles,

because we do not know

what the edited,

finished product

is gonna look like.

Look, someone's gonna go home,

so I need to get my wigs ready.

- Alyssa, if you wear

one more do, bitch,

where you whip it off

to one side...

- Girl, if you wear one more

stretch costume, girl...

- [gasps]

- Go work on your outfits,

'cause I think

you're running out.

- Ooh!

- It's done.

- Wait, wait, wait, Alyssa,

do you have enough stuff

to get through

the rest of the competition?

- Girl, yes, ma'am.

And I can sew if I have to sew.

- Alyssa, you ain't gonna

have to sew

'cause you'll be goin' in

everybody else's wardrobe.

- Oh!

- Ah!

- Hold on now,

let's get something clear.

That was for the challenge.

Baby, I ain't never wore none

of y'all's stuff on the runway.

I ain't never had to,

and I never will.

- Girl, if you had as much

energy in your orgasm yesterday

as you got right now,

we would have been fine.

- Ooh!

- Coco thinks she's smart.

I think it's a part of Coco's

character to take low blows.

When all the pageant stuff

went down,

she did the same thing.

- Are you scared going into

this runway?

- I feel confident

with my look today

because it's a clear concept

from head to toe.

I'm gonna do Dia de los Muertos.

I'm gonna do skeleton makeup.

- Jinkx Monsoon,

the buffoon.

What are you thinking, girl?

You're going out there

as Skeletor?

One judge did say,

I think it was Michelle,

that you're kind of costume-y.

- I really want to wear

this costume.

- But it's a risk.

- If it doesn't land,

it's like me telling jokes.

Then it was,

it was a complete miss.

- Are you single right now?

- I started trying to, like,

kind of date a little bit.

- Yeah.

- Afterwards, um...

Opening up about my ex-boyfriend

is still really difficult.

Our relationship

was so tumultuous,

especially towards the end.

When I ended up trying

to break up with him,

he got really crazy

and started stalking me,

and was, like,

threatening my life

and, like, telling me...

- What?

- He was gonna find me.

Then, two weeks later,

he was dead, so...

You know, I saw the body.

I got to the house,

and there he was.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

there's not a day that goes by

that I don't think about him.

♪ ♪

But it was tough, girl.

It was so hard.

- I just want you to know

that I always will love you,

okay?

- Letting Roxxxy know a little

bit more about it was nice,

because I've never gone

to a therapist.

I've never really talked

to anybody about

the way that I feel.

And I think this experience

is just bringing Roxxxy

and I closer together.

- Coming up...

- I have no freakin' clue

what you said in that novela.

- I don't get it.

I don't get

what it's supposed to be.

- [laughing]

- [laughing]

[dramatic music]

- [laughing]

[RuPaul's Cover Girl]

♪ Cover girl ♪

♪ Put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe ♪

♪ Let your whole body talk ♪

♪ And what? ♪

Welcome to the main stage

of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Michelle Visage.

Hola, mama.

- Hola, mi corazon.

- Shake the dice

and steal the rice and beans.

Santino.

- Ya tu sabes.

- Ay caramba,

it's Maria Conchita Alonso.

You look gorgeous.

- Gracias.

- And a sexy senorita

who's no stranger

to primetime drama.

From Guys with Kids,

Jamie-Lynn Sigler.

You look so pretty tonight.

- Not as pretty as you.

- This week,

our queens were challenged

to deliver the drama

in two telenovelas.

And tonight,

they're ready to make us gag

on their Latina glamorosa

eleganza.

Gentlemen,

start your engines,

and may the best woman win.

[RuPaul's I Bring the b*at]

- ♪ Commence shake down ♪

- Up first, Detox.

I'm bullish on that look.

- I'm serving up

mariachi realness.

Oh, ay, dios mios.

[shouts el grito]

- [laughing]

I bet she's got

some cock-and-bull story.

Roxxxy Andrews.

Check out those chichis.

- Hey, I'm the only Latina left.

I have to represent.

- I can see

her coochie-coochie.

- Okay.

- The 49th state, Alaska.

- Ay, caramba.

- I'm shaking my maracas.

I bought cha-cha heels for

Christmas.

- I got to teach you

how to play the maracas.

- [laughs]

- Mucho muchacha.

Alyssa Edwards.

- Very dramatic, huh?

- She's a Spanish fly girl.

- Um, tonight,

I'm serving Latin fish drama.

- Look at that legwork.

- Yes.

- Hyperextension.

- Serving Tex-Mex.

Coco Montrese.

- Ooh.

- Loco for Coco.

- I'm giving the judges Dorothy

Dandridge Latina glamour, baby.

- Her name was Lola Falana.

- Lola, do you wanna?

- Jinkx Monsoon.

[gasps]

- Drag of the dead.

- I feel fan-f*cking-tastic.

Looking spooky and sexy

all at the same time.

- You know, Jinkx is like

all the other supermodels,

just skin and bones.

- [laughs] Yes.

- Buenas noches, ladies.

Let's take a look

at your telenovelas.

First up, Ella No Es Dama.

[melodramatic music]

♪ ♪

- We must determine

which one of us k*lled him.

- [gasps]

[gasps]

- [gasps]

[all gasping]

- I couldn't k*ll him.

I gave him my virginity!

- [gasps]

- [gasps]

- And...

I'm carrying his baby.

- Ah!

Agh!

Diego loved me.

- [gasps]

- He didn't mind

that I was old.

And I am carrying his baby.

Agh!

- How could Diego love you,

when he loved me?

And I am carrying his baby dos.

- [gasps]

- There is only one thing left

for us to do.

Bring us the poison.

- [gasps]

- All: Vaya con dios.

- [sobbing]

- All: [choking]

[gasp]

[choking]

[gasp]

[exhale]

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

- So stupid.

- You're telling me.

- Oh, my brother.

The beautiful drag queen.

- [grunting]

- No eres una dama.

- I've been working here

five years.

You'd think they'd notice this

Adam's apple from now, huh?

We will now be very rich.

Muy rico!

- Both: [laugh evilly]

[laughter and applause]

- Next up, Casa de Locas.

[peaceful guitar music]

♪ ♪

- I have bad news.

Hilda...

get out, you ugly, stupid maid.

Maria, you have a rare,

fatal condition.

- Oh!

- If you hear the names of food,

you will orgasm so violently

that you will...

die.

I have the same disease.

- [gasps]

[screaming]

Nooo!

[normal voice]

Now that you mention it,

we never talk about food.

- [laughing]

[ominous music]

It is I who put the curse on

la casa de locas.

- [gasps]

- [hisses]

Hilda!

You are muy estupida

if you think you are going to

take over our familia!

- Chimichanga!

[Alyssa and Jinkx moaning]

Si, si!

Y... fish taco!

[Alyssa and Jinkx moaning]

- No!

- Yes!

- No!

- Yes!

[chokes]

- [gasping]

- Is Maria or su madre here?

- No estan aqui.

Maybe I can help you

with something?

- Would you like to have dinner

with me?

- I thought you'd never ask.

- [laughs awkwardly]

[scattered applause]

- Now, this week you've worked

in groups.

But tonight, you'll be judged

as individuals.

It's time for

the judges' critiques.

Coming up...

- I think you were intimidated.

- That dress is probably

one of the worst I've ever seen

in five seasons.

- [laughing]

- [laughing]

All right, it's time

for the judges' critiques.

Starting with...Detox.

- I'm not sure about

the sombrero.

It's so campy,

and the outfit is so not.

- On to the telenovela.

I think the villain has to have

the biggest presence,

so I wanted you to just have

something a little bit greater.

- Next up, Roxxxy Andrews.

- Tonight on the runway,

your makeup looks amazing.

More so than ever before.

- This is the least amount

of makeup I've worn ever.

- [laughs]

- You look stunning.

- Thank you so much.

- And the telenovela,

from the way you moved your body

to your high-pitched voice,

the way you moved your head

when you got slapped.

You took that role, and you did

great things with it,

and I was really impressed.

- Up next, Alaska.

- Hi.

- Tonight on the runway,

you gave us another upbeat walk,

and it works for you.

- Cruella de Vil.

That's what I saw

when you were acting,

which you did a very good job.

- I think you're really,

really gifted.

I could take notes from you,

for sure.

- Thank you.

- Up next, Alyssa Edwards.

- Alyssa,

I have no freakin' clue

what you said in that novela.

- [gasps]

- You turned into Dracula

a few times.

I was like, what?

- Tonight, that dress

is probably one of the worst

dresses I've ever seen

on this runway in five seasons.

It is such a mess.

I don't get it.

I don't get what

it's supposed to be.

- Okay, when you go

to the clubs,

every single,

each and every night,

you don't ask the girls,

"Did you sew that?

"Did you make that?

Were you funny the other night

to get here?"

But if you say tonight,

lip sync for your life,

I'm gonna lip sync for my life,

and if I'm able to stay,

I'll do it every damn week

because I am an entertainer.

- Alyssa, every last one of

these girls

are amazing performers.

- I didn't discredit nobody.

- It comes across as if,

"I'm the best entertainer

up here,

"and if I have to lip sync

for my life every night,

I'll lip sync my way

all the way to the crown."

That's not what this is about.

- Alyssa,

we know you got it.

Your characteristics are funny,

you're beautiful,

you have the total package.

I'm just not sure if you know

how to connect the pieces.

You know?

- Thank you.

- All right.

Thanks, Alyssa.

Next up, Jinkx Monsoon.

- Um...

you confuse me sometimes.

And that's a good thing.

- [laughs]

- Keep me on my damn toes.

- I was really shocked

by your outfit tonight,

but I love it.

I think it's really fun.

- In the telenovela,

you were perfection.

Your change of emotion

on a dime

to you humping the couch

when you were having

your orgasm.

- [moaning]

[gasping]

[squeals]

You did the best orgasm!

- [laughing]

- Next up, Coco Montrese.

- Hi, Ru.

- Your look tonight

on the runway, I love it.

It's a beautiful mango color.

You worked that jumpsuit.

Great choice.

In the telenovela,

I was left wanting more.

- I think you were

a little bit intimidated

when you got next to Wilmer.

- Thank you, ladies.

I think we've heard enough.

While you enjoy

an Absolut cocktail

in the Interior Illusions

Lounge,

the judges and I

will deliberate.

You may leave the stage.

All right,

just between us chicas,

what do you think?

Let's start with Detox.

- Tonight on the runway,

this really wasn't Detox's

best effort.

And I expect more from her.

- Well, she slapped very good.

[laughs]

- Which is very important

in a telenovela.

- Yes.

- She was funny-ish

with baby dos

but could have been

so much bigger.

Like, that was

a wasted opportunity.

- Roxxxy Andrews.

- She looked so pretty

with that black hair,

and her makeup looked gorgeous.

And her body shape

with the cinch waist.

She just melted my loins.

- Well, I loved seeing her

cinched in like that.

And the hair, and she drew on

the Latin curls.

- Oh, on the face.

That's so cute.

Yeah.

And in the telenovela.

- She was strong.

Everything she did,

the physicality,

her voice, the pitch.

She stood out.

- Roxxxy redeemed herself

this week

from the past two weeks

of kind of letting us down.

- Alaska.

- Ella No Es Dama really was

the better of the two

telenovelas because of Alaska.

- It was a very layered

performance.

She's a gifted comedian.

- Tonight on the runway,

the dress looked really cheap.

But she gave us

a little more ass.

- Yes.

- And you like that.

- Hell, yeah, I like more ass.

[laughter]

- Alyssa Edwards.

What did you think of her outfit

on the runway?

- Whoever made that for her

is fired.

- Thanks a lot, Grandma.

- [laughing]

- And what'd you think of her

in the telenovela?

- That role could have been

so, so big and funny,

because she's so intriguing

to me.

- How is it that

she doesn't know

how to ham it up

in front of a camera?

- She doesn't know

what she's got.

- She was already talking about,

like,

having to lip sync for her life

tonight.

- If that inner dialogue

is saying,

you know,

"I'm gonna fail at this

or I'm not any good at this,"

well, hello,

that's what you get, you know.

- Yes.

- Jinkxy Monsoon.

- She is a very good actress.

She's beautiful.

She's funny.

- She took that script,

and she made it her own.

- That takes a really talented

person to be able to do that.

- She looked flawless

in that telenovela.

- Yeah.

- The Dia de los Muertos.

It was shocking.

I think she looked fierce

the way she did it.

- I loved the cojones

it took to do that,

and it really did

catch me by surprise.

Coco Montrese.

- I thought she looked gorgeous.

I mean, this is her color,

the shape,

even the cheapish flowers.

In the novela, there were a lot

of weird choices

and missed opportunities.

A lot of literal acting out,

which is, like, cardinal sin

number one.

- I wanted her to stand out

so much more.

It felt as if her role

was insignificant

until the end

when you realized what it was,

and then you just wished

that it was more than that.

- Silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.

- [laughing]

- [laughing]

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Roxxxy Andrews,

as Teresa the virgin,

you really gave it up.

You're safe.

- Alaska...

you're safe.

- Thank you.

- Jinkx Monsoon,

this week, you came,

you saw...

and you came again.

You're the winner

of this week's challenge.

[applause]

- Thank you.

- You've won a pair

of faux fur coats

from Fabulous-Furs.

- It's muy magnifico.

I am the first one

to win two challenges

in this competition.

- Alyssa Edwards,

your performance

in the telenovela

did not have us screaming

in ecstasy.

I'm sorry, my dear, but you are

up for elimination.

- [sighs]

- Coco Montrese,

as Hilda the maid,

you were a little...

dusty.

Detox, as Consuela the maid,

you...

didn't clean up.

Coco Montrese...

I'm sorry, my dear,

but you are up for elimination.

- Ooh.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Detox, you may join

the other girls.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies,

this is your last chance

to impress me

and save yourself

from elimination.

The time has come for you

to lip sync for your life.

- From the first day

I walked into the workroom

and I saw her face,

I wanted to step on that stage

across from her

and get vindication.

- After all the drama with

our last pageant experience,

we both want this crown.

This will be the tiebreaker.

- Good luck,

and don't f*ck it up.

- ♪ He's a cold-hearted snake ♪

- ♪ Girl ♪

- ♪ Look into his eyes ♪

♪ Uh-oh ♪

♪ He's been telling lies ♪

♪ He's a lover boy at play ♪

- ♪ Girl ♪

- ♪ He don't play by rules ♪

- ♪ Oh, oh ♪

- ♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Girl,

don't play the fool now ♪

♪ How come, how come he can

he can tell-a tell-a ♪

♪ You're-a you're-a always

always number number one ♪

♪ Without a doubt

when-a when-a he is he is... ♪

- I'm making sure the judges

see every word

that's coming out of my mouth,

as if I was Paula Abdul herself.

- ♪ You could find somebody

better, girl ♪

♪ Let me tell ya

he's c-cold as ice ♪

- That spinning jump

into the split?

I mean, come on.

- Coco's spinning

very beautiful.

Her outfit works perfectly

for the dance moves.

Miss thing, she is everything.

- ♪ C-c-c-cold-hearted ♪

♪ S-s-s-snake ♪

- [laughing]

- ♪ Cold-hearted

s-s-s-s-nake ♪

♪ He's a cold-hearted snake ♪

- The lip sync is jaw-dropping.

It's gonna be neck and neck.

- ♪ Girl, don't play the fool ♪

[cheers and applause]

- [howls]

- Wow.

Ladies...

I've made my decision.

Coco Montrese...

shantay, you stay.

- [exhales heavily]

Coco, you may join

the other girls.

- Thank you.

- Congratulations.

- [inaudible]

- [sighs]

- Alyssa Edwards,

the next time you look

in the mirror,

I hope you see what I see...

a triple thr*at.

A dancer,

a beauty queen,

and one fierce-ass

"entertainter".

Now, sashay away.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

[applause]

Deuces.

I cannot say

that I'm heartbroken,

because I gave it my all.

And to say that

I am in the top six

of America's finest

in this art form

is a privilege,

and it's an honor.

Always and forever...

[echoing]

Alyssa Edwards!

- Condragulations,

my ferocious five.

Now, remember,

if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love

somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

- All: Amen.

- Let the music play.

[RuPaul's The Beginning]

- ♪ Right, right ♪

♪ Get it, get it ♪

♪ G-g-get it, get it right ♪

♪ This is the beginning ♪

♪ The beginning ♪

♪ This is the beginning ♪

♪ Of the rest of your life ♪