16x07 - The Sound of Rusic

[bunniefuu]

- [singing] MTV

- Previously on
"RuPaul's Drag Race"...

You get to create your own doll.

[together]
Ooh.

Sapphira, do you want to
use your immunity potion?

- Yup.

- [gasps]

- Geneva Karr, from the
neck up, beauty queen.

From the neck down,
horror queen.

- Mhi'ya Iman Le'Paige.

- You kept talking about
this flipping doll,

but nobody's flipping.

- Cute.

- I can't see any
imperfections in your outfit.

- Condragulations,
you are the winner

of this week's challenge.

Mhi'ya Iman Le'Paige.

Shantay, you stay.

Geneva Karr, sashay away.

- Geneva, La diva, mas Latina.

- Not Malita.

You know how to read that, Maya?

- "Mala ditas la..."

[laughter]

- Bitch, for that lip sync...

- She's known as the
Queen of Flips for a reason.

- Girl.

- We're all sad
that Geneva is gone,

but after seeing Maya
lip sync, there's, like,

a terror in the room.

Can you imagine
lip syncing against her?

- Well, I think the new
lip-sync assassin has arrived,

and whoever I gotta send
home, I'm sending them home.

- Ooh.
- All right, girl.

- I know that's right.

- You know, Maya did slay her
nasty boots in the lip sync,

and she feels indestructible,
but that's not

what "Drag Race" is about, baby.

You gotta slay everything.

- Miss Q, on behalf
of the former winners

of the competition, welcome
to the winner's circle.

- Yes!
- Welcome to you.

- It only took you six
episodes, but you did it.

Cue the applause, everybody.

I just won my first challenge.

Thank you.
Thank you.

- So how does it feel?

- $5,000 isn't too bad.

- Is it time to start checking
the scoreboard yet, or no?

No, it's not that time yet?

- Not yet.

- She says not yet because she
doesn't have S on the board.

- We'll wait for you, sister.
We'll wait...

- Thank you. Thank you.

- no matter how many
episodes it takes.

- Ah!

- Listen, I know Q has a
new topic every single week,

and so it's like,
oh, her moment.

Oh, my god.

She's having her moment.

It was my moment.

I did the fashion.

Q's runway looks
like a fairy costume.

I'm sorry.

I just... I wanted to win.

- I'm kind of upset
that I got b*at by f*cking

Buzz Lightyear over here.

- Oh, no!

[laughter]

- Oh, my god.

- She said to liftoff.

- Not Buzz Lightyear.

- Damn.

Oh.

- That's good.

- Speaking of the
scoreboard, guess what.

There is only one
potion left in the game.

[laughs]

- Sapphira,
how did that immunity

potion taste in your mouth?

- Disgusting.

I was in my own head,
and so to sort of, like,

quiet the voices,

I did what I needed
to do for me.

And you can't turn back.

But what it means is
that I have to freaking

turn it every time.

I hope these girls
are happy that they saw

a little cr*ck in the shell.

But, baby, Sapphira is back,

and it's time for you
to be scared.

- Ah.
- Ooh, girl.

- At this point in
the competition,

they're going to start weeding
out the people who don't have

points on the scoreboard...

Morphine, Xunami, Dawn.

I didn't mention Megami.

I guess she has
like a quarter win.

But if you don't have
challenge wins at this point,

you in danger, girl.

You are in trouble.

- To infinity...

both: And beyond.

- f*ck that bitch.
Where is she?

Megami.

- What?

- f*ck you.

- [singing] RuPaul's Drag Race

The winner of "RuPaul's
Drag Race" receives a one-year

supply of Anastasia
Beverly Hills cosmetics

and a gag-worthy
grand prize of $200,000

served by Cash App with
extra-special guest judge

Adam Shankman.

[singing] RuPaul's Drag Race

May the best drag queen win

Best drag queen win

- Banana.

[laughter]

Whee!

- It's a new week
in the Werk Room,

and I'm just excited to
put some fire in my p*ssy

and slay a challenge.

I need a win, so I can
rub it on their faces.

Oh, my god, you have braces.

- Um, yeah.

[laughter]

[sirens wailing]

[excited screams]

- Yes.

- She done already
done had herses.

- Good morning, Mother.

- Good morning, Mother.

- My queens,
to make it to the top,

America's next drag superstar
needs to climb every mountain.

So la, ti, doe, she better do.

[excited screams]

- People who will
get the reference

will get the reference.

- Still don't get it.

- Yeah, I have no idea.

- Hello. Hello. Hello.

[all shouting]

My queens... the color
orange; m*rder, She Sat Down,

and She Wrote;
Whitney, when she sings;

these are a few of
my favorite things.

And you know what else I love?

- What?

- A Drag Race Rusical.

[all shouting]

For this week's Maxi
challenge, you'll

be prancing,
lip syncing, and acting up

a storm
in "The Sound of Rusic."

[all shouting]

- I am so excited
about doing a rusical.

I love "The Sound of Music."

It's Julie Andrews' most
iconic role maybe ever.

- I hate musical theater.

I think that the people
who are fans of it are...

No, I can't say that.

Not my thing.

I'm so sorry.

- Girlfriends, I'll let
you choose your own roles.

- Ooh.

- Now later today,
you'll rehearse

with big-time Hollywood
director Adam Shankman.

- Oh, my god.
- Oh, my god.

- Adam Shankman is a pro.

He directed "Hairspray,"
the musical,

which is like so, so iconic.

- And to help with your
Fraulein hairlines,

we've provided hair
courtesy of Wigs and Grace.

- Wow.

- Now, I'll leave you
with this question.

How do you solve a problem like
my neck, my back, et cetera?

[laughter]

Racers, start your engines, and
may the best drag queen win.

[all cheering]

- [singing] Musical
- [singing] Musical

- [singing] Broadway

- "The Sound of Rusic."

Now, it's time for us to
cast ourselves and

figure out
who's going to be who.

Being cast in the right role,
it is the make or break here.

- Not a**l Vice.

That's so funny.

- Right off the bat,
it's got to be Mariah.

It's based on the
Julie Andrews character.

It's like the reason
the show has a heartbeat.

- The part of Mariah,
I'm living for it.

And I'm just tired
of being safe.

So I know from the get go,
bitch, I need a lead role.

- So fun.
- So fun.

- So fun.

- Let's get into it.

- Are those real?

- Dawn is Strudel.

- You look like a strudel.

- Shut the f*ck up.

I have never done
musical theater,

but I love acting silly,
and this bitch is silly.

Strudel is silly.

- Mhi'ya is Sister Fister.

- You want Sister Fister?

- Yeah.

- I may not have music
theater background,

but I know how to dance.

So give me my cute
little medium-sized part,

and I will run with it.

- Diesl.

Nymph.

- The Baronets.

- Yeah.

- You know me and myself.

- I'm drawn to one of
the bitchy baronets.

- They're both mean
girls, and that's

who I've been wrongfully labeled

as in this competition.

- Let's eat.

- Period.

- It's absolutely fun
to be a mean character.

What about the
Baroness Bronn, our villain?

- I am very, very,
very wanting the Baroness.

Baroness would be
like my first choice.

I just want to be
one of the main roles

since I haven't gotten a chance
to really step out and show.

- My first pick
is Baroness Bronn.

That is like my number one.

I mean, I'm very character
driven, how I look

and my physicality
and my acting.

And they said last
time, my comedy timing

is really, really great.

Yeah, I just think
it's within my range.

- This is a very
dry sense of humor

that I also feel like
I would be phenomenal at.

- Megami and I both
want the Baroness role,

and I just don't see it for her.

I don't see the part
fitting her demeanor at all.

Well, I mean, I think this
is the one that I want,

and I think I would do
the best in this role.

- Rock, paper, scissors for it.

- [laughs]

- I think that would be the...

- Do you want to?

- That... I'm fine with that.

- Oh.

We're all clutching our pearls,
who is going to win this rock,

paper, scissors battle?

- So rock paper,
scissors, sh**t.

- Yeah.
All right.

Big money.
Big money.

No whammies.
- Yeah.

[together]
Rock, paper, scissors, sh**t.

Ahh!

- Good for you.

All right, you get Baroness.

- Sorry, Megami.

Better luck next time.

- We have Mariah, Sister
Fister, and Mother Superior.

- I mean, I would love to do
Mother Superior, honestly.

- When hearing the
track, Mother Superior

just screamed Sapphira.

- I'll just take Schnitzel.

- All right, whatever.

- I'm a star no
matter where I'm at.

- I mean, I want to be Mariah.

My top choice was Mariah.

- Oh.
- So do I.

- You want to be Mariah?

- It screamed for me, boots.

- And Morphine?

- I also was looking at Mariah.

- OK.

Well, that's unfortunate,
because I want Mariah

too, bitch.

- I personally, if I'm going
to put my two cents in,

I do see you as the lead.

I think Sapphira or
Plasma could do it.

- My two cents for myself,
since nobody sees me

as the lead,
I feel like I haven't

gotten the opportunity to
actually have a lead anything.

You have a win.
You have a win.

I want a win.

- This feels very, very true
to who I am and what I do.

I see myself as Mariah.

This is what I came here to do.

- My thing is,
it spoke Sapphira to me.

- Can we just say
really quickly,

I do not have another
roll in my list.

- Girl, that doesn't mean
you get Mariah though.

I'm sorry.
- No no.

No.

Well, I felt like the last
time we assigned roles,

I was shuffled
around a little bit.

- And you won.

- I need to make sure that
I'm not baby in a corner

this week.

I have Mariah.

End of list.

- She's putting her foot down.

- I hate to be the girl
who's like, well,

I want to be the lead
and nothing else,

but I want to be
the lead and nothing else.

- Whatever.

I could drop Mariah,
and if anything,

I might go for Sister Fister.

- You know what?
I'll do Mother Superior.

- And I'll take Mariah.

- There you go.

- Oh, OK.

For once, I tried the Plane Jane

technique of being
a bat-out-of-hell

bitch about it, and it worked.

[sniffs]
Do I have burger fingers?

- Sapphira, thank you.

- Of course.

Turn it out.

The last queen that
I fought with a role

with and gave it to her,
she ended up going home.

I'm just saying.

- All right,
"The Sound of Rusic."

Let's get this rusical
a-cookin'.

- I am so excited.

"The Sound of Rusic"
is obviously based

on "The Sound of Music."

I'm cast as Mariah, the lead.

How do you solve a
problem like Mariah?

You don't, bitch.

You're stuck with me.

So this musical is sacred to me.

I grew up watching this movie.

This movie is
important in my family.

It's important in my life.

Literally, in one of my high
school graduation cards,

my grandparents wrote the lyrics

to "Climb Every Mountain,"
and it made me sob,

and I think about
it to this day.

- Diva, I'm so happy for you.

Plasma won't shut up
about how excited

she is for this challenge.

She's like, I'm Mariah.
Blah-blah-blah-blah.

I love "Sound of Music."

I used to watch it as a kid.
Blah-blah-blah-blah.

Love you, sis, but that's
what you sound like.

- Has anyone else watched
"The Sound of Music,"

grown up with
"The Sound of Music"?

- No, I've never watched it.

- I watched it
when I was younger.

I don't remember much about it.

- Work.

I don't want to
count my chickens,

but I know that I have
all the tools to take

this straight to the bank.

- We are the nuns.

I'm thinking our role is like
the three girls in "Hairspray."

That's what I see us
as, which means that we

have a lot of attitude.

- Words of wisdom from Mother.

Both: Mother "Sapphir-ior."

- Listen, I've been
mama-bearing these queens

all through the entire
season, so Mother

Superior fits me like a habit.

- I hate that my
parts are so short.

- But you have a
lot of attitude,

so like what you have,
because we're here.

- I'm kind of still a little
bit pissed that Plasma just

got the lead role and I kind of
wasn't even considered for it.

I know I'm gonna give it.

It's just annoying.

Next time, I'm just gonna
be stern with what I want.

Bitch, I should have
been Blac Chyna, honey.

- We couldn't help but
overhear your little...

What's was that?

- I'm gonna have so much
fun with this character.

- Yeah, me too.

- It's the mean girl.

- The Baroness is the
villain in the rusical.

She runs her singing
group, The Baronettes.

Xunami, Plane, and
I are really feeling

our villain oats right now.

The role-choosing process
was very interesting to me.

- Who do we feel like is a
little bitter, bitter buddies.

- Clearly, that is Megami.

- Down.

Megami wanted bigger roles.

- She's worried about
fading into the background.

- The background.

- It's just kind of like the
same shtick over and over.

I'm going to be interested
to see how she does.

Let's make a little
trip around, shall we?

Solely because the roles
that we have chosen

are those of the Mean Girls,
Miku and Xunami decide

to stir up a little mischief.

Hee-hee-hee-hee.

Woo!

- Was that a little musical
number y'all are doing?

- Are we doing a
little music over here?

- This really does
fit you guys a lot.

- Thank you.

I wish your role fit you.

- I'm having a lot of fun
being a bitch to these b*tches.

I want Plane Jane's
wicked comedy

to definitely rub off on me.

- We believe in you, Sapphira.

Good luck, Morphine and Maya.

- Xunami is getting a little too

comfortable with this role.

It never used to be
like that with me.

I'm her bestie.

What a bitch.

You're hanging around too
much with Lil Plane Jane,

and I know she has
a crush on Plane.

Oops.

Didn't mean to say
that, but I said it.

- She really thought...

- She really thought
you ate that.

- Oh, look who it is.

- Oh, ew.

- Corrupt, you nasty boys.

- How y'all feeling,
evil b*tches?

- I just wanted
to be a bitch for once.

- For once?
- For once?

- So Megami, I know you didn't
get the roles that you were

vying for,
which were bigger roles,

and this role is a little
smaller and less noticeable.

- Ahh!

- I've already proven myself
in the girl group challenge,

so I'm not worried about it.

- Now, Miss Plane,
we're in three songs,

and you're in like half of one.

- But that's OK,
because I own my presence,

so I'm not worried about me.

I'm worried about you.

- I don't think you need
to worry about me, mama.

- Plane could
teach a masterclass

on being a villainous
twat, so I might

take a few tips from her.

- Well, we just came
over to stir the pot.

- I think we're done here.

Bye.

- Bye, b*tches.

- Do you want to go
through our end song?

About the freak
out in you, baby.

We have the finale song.

- Wait, should we go
over our first song?

- We have three songs.

- Oh.

And I start to realize
it's so much material.

Plane, do I have a moment with
y'all's group in the script?

- Yeah, at page 17.

- Wait.

- They all get their
moments in particular acts.

My moment is all of
it, which is like...

Woo.

Ooh.

Ahh!

The hills are alive,
and they're the sound

of me practicing at the hotel.

- b*tches are shaking
in their boots.

- I think Plasma could
hit it out of the park,

but I think it also
could be just so, so big.

I mean, that's the only
role that Plasma wanted.

- She better eat it.

- All on her, girl.

- [laughs]

- Being evil is kind of fun.

- Hey, ladies.

[all screaming excitedly]
- Hello.

- I'm Adam.

[together]
Hi, Adam.

- Nice to meet you.

- So now comes the time where
we get to rehearse our rusical

with Adam Shankman.

- We're gonna get
into the choreography.

I'm kind of at a
disadvantage right now,

because my assistant, she's
actually running super late.

But hopefully, she'll get
here while we're working.

OK, so are we ready to do
a little bit of dancing?

[together]
Yes.

- I'm so excited.

I feel like I'm auditioning
for a Broadway musical.

- This is for the opening
number, 1, 2, 3, 4.

Walk, walk.

Adding arms.



Ball change onto here.

- Adam is working us out.

- Now, 1, 2, 3, 4.

- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

This is a lot off the bat.

- This is the story of three.

If you all can't stand
like this, y'all should

get out of the business.

Drag queens,
you know how to do this.

Oh, my assistant is here.
- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I'm late.

[all screaming excitedly]

- Melissa McCarthy
is in the building.

- Oh, my god.
- Oh, my god.

- We all know we all need
a side hustle, ladies.

- Bitch, that's Ursula.

- Molly of "Mike & Molly."

- Oh, dear.

- She's not great at this.

- What is going on?

- This is why I do not
like hiring A-list movie stars

to be my assistant.

Guys, we gotta have focus,
and we gotta keep moving on.

Let me just see from the
very, very top with the music.

- From the top.

- Here we go.

Hit it.

- [singing] High in the Swish
Alps,
but it ain't Eurovision

- Uh, let's do
that one more time.

Sapphira, remember, high in
the swish... out front arms.

- Yes.

You expect me to now be
learning choreography,

and Melissa McCarthy is
sitting 10 feet away from me.

Baby, you gotta
be out your mind.

- I need focus, guys.

- You're doing great.

- Focus.
Focus.

Focus.
Focus, ladies.

- Anybody want a Babybel?

- Cheese.
Really?

- Back here.

Back here.

- I'm working.

- This is my favorite sporting
event I've ever partaken in.

- How do we go from learning
a choreo for a rusical

to cheese flying
in the air being

thrown by Melissa McCarthy?

- We have a lot to do.

Everybody, just hold onto
your cheese until we're done.

- I am going to have to
pick up the dog soon.

All right, I'm going
to go get the dogs.

I just want to say,
if I can take one minute...

I just adore you all.

I adore what you do.

Drag is a big part
of why I have a career.

I was going to drag shows
when I shouldn't have been,

and it literally gave me the
courage to get up on stage.

I started in drag.

I started in a big,
old red wig called Miss Y.

So when I look at you fighting
to carve out your space,

it makes me so proud.

And I just want to thank you
for it and root for you.

And you're all gorgeous,
ladies, and I just love you.

Just keep doing
what you're doing.

It's not only
wildly entertaining

and it brings joy;
it's important.

And fight for it,
because it's worth it.

- Listening to Melissa
McCarthy talk about drag

and even getting a little choked

up talking to us
about it, it just

makes me realize how significant

it is to even be here.

- And there's no small parts.

- It almost feels
like she's talking

to me directly
because I was really

mad about having a small part.

I was being a brat
and a diva about it.

She read me the filth
without reading me to filth.

Let me eat this cheese,
because you're right.

- Thank you.

Thank you so much.

- Bye, ladies.

- OK, great.

We're going to move on.

- We've gotten some
words of wisdom.

Now it's time to go
do this damn thing.

- Let me look at the
little Mariah piece here.

- From what I've
seen of Adam's work,

he is looking for polish,
precision, professionalism.

Oh, my god he's
looking for P-words.

He's looking for Plasma.

- I can't reiterate
enough how much

is riding on you on this one.

So in the opening...

[singing] My heels may be high,
but my spirit is low

- It's the hunchback for me.

- [snickers]
- Yeah.

- Hunch that back, girl.

- [singing] But my spirit is low

- Honey, Plasma is 24 years
old, but has the scoliosis

of a 65-year-old.

- Let me see Mother
Superior and the Bad Habits.

You guys are sort of the
narrators of the piece,

and this is rooted
in '60s kind of dancing.

So it's pony, pony,
jerk, and jerk.



[singing] How do you tell
a drag queen



[singing] To not perform a split

- Oh, sh*t.

The choreography
is not what I expected.

I was expecting just
going with the flow.

- I'm assuming you chose
these roles because you feel

like you can dance, right?
- Yeah.

- What kind of dance?

- I usually do hip-hop.

I do kicks, flips, everything.

- This is straight-up
musical theater.

This isn't everybody's
comfort zone.

- I am concerned for Maya.

I know that she's
the queen of flips,

but I don't see this
nun doing any flips.

- I'm missing something.

- It's your feet, baby.

- Rooting for you
though, sister.

Not my Jane impression.

Ew.

- OK, sit down.

Next group,
Baroness and the Baronets.

- It's mostly about like,
we're too lazy to actually have

to move, but when we move,
we move great.

- It's Gloria Swanson
in "Sunset Boulevard,"

where she's like, I'm ready
for my close up, DeMille.

- And then bam, bam, hit, down.

OK, hit it.

- [singing] You should break up

- [singing] Break up
- [singing] Bye-bye

- [singing] Bye-bye

- [singing] Maybe we'll see you
in the next life

- Q, the Baroness is the
full woman experience,

and I'm getting
just straight-up boy

from you right now.

Do you know what I mean?

I see a messy man.

- So once again,
Q is Frankenstein up there

clomping along.

- How I'm feeling this is
going to go is like Q's

gonna be lip-syncing again.

Maybe I should have
just taken that role.

- [singing] You should break up,
break up

- [singing] Bye-bye
- [singing] Bye-bye

- [singing] Maybe we'll see you
in the next life

So long

So long, so long

- You didn't look as
confident just now.

- Yeah, I'm not getting the...

I'm not picking up the timing.

- You've got to find
a way to get in there

and make sure that
you look exactly

like each other physically.

- After all that
sh*t talking, it's kind of fun

to look at,
because I love watching

other people struggle.

- OK, moving on.

Let me see the Von Snaps.

So let me just show you
your introduction stuff.

When the oom-pah-pahs
come in, you guys go up

and you go down,
just in terms of that.

So you're just going to
do... you go up first.

Bump, bump, bump, bump.

Bump, bump, bump, bump.
Bump, bump, bump.

Bump, bump, bump.
You're already scared.

- Yeah.

- What's really important is
that this all be very precise.

- Don't f*ck that up.

- Miss Megami,
can we do it a little better?

I don't know.

It's really easy, mama.

- [singing] My name is
Schnitzel,
and I want to marry

But all the boys tell me
my schnitzel is too hairy

- Like, I'm pulling for you,
but this is going to be hard.

- I'm slow on choreo, but
when I get it, I get it.

- I'm not going to lie,
a lot of work to do here.

- Girl, I'm here watching Megami

about to fall on her face.

I think she might need
Plane Jane's immunity potion,

but I'm not sure if Plane
is gonna give it to her.

- [singing] Gotta wake up

- Oh, sh*t.

- We're going home.

- Today is the day where we
debut "The Sound of Rusic."

And I feel like Joan Crawford.

I did my little witch hazel
ice bath this morning,

and I'm ready to
be a star, baby.

[upbeat music]

Sapphira, how do you feel?

- I feel great.

I just gotta be an old lady.

That's me every day.

- So you don't have
immunity anymore though.

- Oh.
- Oh.

- Oh, my god.
- I don't care.

- That's right.

- I don't have a safety
net, and I don't believe

that I'll be needing immunity.

I'm feeling like the
superior Mother Sapphir-ior.

- Did you immediately gravitate
towards that Baron Mia role?

- Oh, yeah.

- You heard the very
clear man's voice,

and you said, that's me.

- Bitch, you got the
squarest head in this room.

- I do.

- And you have
the most facial hair

out of anybody in this
room, so don't play with me.

After rehearsing
all night, I feel

a lot better about the choreo.

My goal is to redeem myself
from the Girl Group Challenge.

I want to show the judges that
I can move and I can have fun.

- Do y'all have any
background that would

aid you in this challenge?

- Yeah, I do have
a dance background.

I was a ballroom dancer
for nine years of my life,

I would say.

I started ballroom dance when
I was about six or seven years

old, and I competed
in competitions

across the U.S.
and even abroad,

and I really enjoyed it.

But then I quit.

I quit ballroom dance because
somebody in high school

told me that it was gay.

- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

- I quit something that was
actually very, very special

to me, because I didn't
want to raise any eyebrows,

and it's probably one of
my biggest regrets in life.

- So are you girlies,
like, musical theater gays?

- No.
- No.

- Growing up in New York,
I remember when I was 17

and I went to go see
"Hairspray" on Broadway.

And Edna was technically the
first drag person that I ever

saw in front of me on stage.

I was like, um, this is amazing.

What is happening right now?

I did love meeting Adam.

"Hairspray" is literally my
favorite musical of all time.

I saw the "Hairspray"
movie in theaters

like five f*cking times.

I have rehearsed, rehearsed,
rehearsed my ass off.

I really want to
impress Adam, because I

want him to cast
me in "Hairspray 2:

Electric Boogaloo."

[upbeat music]

- I love your eye makeup today.

- Thank you, it's...

- That is shadiness.

That is playful.

- You've been working on
this eye for a long time.

- She laid a layer of oatmeal
down first before she...

- Bad makeup day?

[laughter]
- Bad makeup day.

- It's about the
finished product,

it's not about the journey.

- You right.

Every time you put
on your makeup,

I'll be like, what because
this clown bitch doing?

- Oh, my gosh.

- And then she puts on the
hair and lashes and the heels.

And I'd be like, what because
this clown bitch doing?

[laughter]

[Rupaul's "Cover Girl"]

- [singing] Cover Girl,
put the bass in your walk

Head to toe,
let your whole body talk

- [laughs]

- Welcome to the main stage
of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

She's 16 going on 17, and
that's just her shoe size.

[laughter]

Michelle Visage.

- Well, Ru,
you know what they say

about a girl with big feet.

- No, what?

- Big bunions.

[laughter]

- And, Ross Matthews, how do you

hold a moonbeam in your hand?

- Oh, I just grab
it and choke it.

[laughter]

- My moonbeam likes it rough.

- Welcome back,
the fabulous Adam Shankman.

What are a few of
your favorite things?

- They're all battery-powered.

[laughter]

- This week, we challenged
our queens to steal the show

in "The Sound of Rusic."

Racers, start your engines, and
may the best drag queen win.

And now, the world
premiere, "The Sound of Rusic."

- Our story opens
at The Abby, a gay bar

high in the Swish Alps.

[upbeat music]

[all singing]
This is the story of three

Girl groups on a mission

To win first place
in a musical tradition

High in the Swish Alps,
but it ain't Eurovision

It's the Salzburg Rusic Music

Singing Competition festival

- And now,
introducing our competitors.

Performing nightly at
the Abby, its Mother

Superior and the Bad Habits.

- Ooh, girl.

- 1, 2, 3, 4.

[singing together]
Jesus is a biscuit

And I'm stuck in a rut

- Headlining weekends at
Salzburger Mary's, their music

really slaps.

They're the Family Von Snaps.

[singing together]
Yodelay, yodelay

- [singing] Pine cone

- Pine cone?
- Yeah.

- And finally, from Club
a**l Vice, the reigning

champions for the
past 35 years...

They never break a sweat...

It's the Baroness Bronn
and her Baronettes.

[singing together]
Ahh ahh ahh

- Ah, that.

You expect us to sing for free?

Keep it moving.

- But there's a problem blowing
in the wind for the Sisters

at the Abby,
and they call the wind...

- Mariah.

Mariah. Mariah.

- [singing] My heels may be high

But my spirit is low

I want to be the star

Of a brand-new badass show

I'm longing to let
all my freak out

To seek out adventure
that's new and fresh and me

- Quiet girl.

We don't need to
hear your life story.

- What makes you
think you have what

it takes to be a Bad Habit?

- Because I can
sing eight octaves,

and I look sickening in black.

[together]
Mm.

- Do I finally get to
perform my solo tonight?

[singing together]
How do you tame Mariah

She gets on my nerves

But she's oh, so sweet though

She can't just be in the choir

She sings harmonies

During all my solos

- Sisters, we were once
young queens ourselves.

- And the Lord works
in mysterious ways.

- So do serial K*llers.

- She's too much.

[singing together] How do you
tell a drag queen

To not go for the splits?

How do you tell Mariah

To stick to the way it is?

- [singing] How do you tame
Mariah?

- [singing] How do you tame
Mariah?

She gets on my nerves, but
she's just so sweet though

- [singing] She gets on my
nerves, but
she's just so sweet though

She can't just be in the choir

She can't just be in the choir

She sings harmonies
during all my solos

[singing together] How do you
tell a drag queen

To not go for the splits?

- You don't.

[singing together]
How do you tell Mariah

To stick to the way it is?

- [singing] No, no, no

[singing together]
How do you tame Mariah

How do you tame Mariah?

- Mother Superior,
I have a confession.

- You know we're not
actual nuns, right?

But let me guess, there's
something you c**t face.

- What'd you just call me?

I feel a calling, and I
think it's my inner freak.

What should I do?

- My child, if there's
one thing I know for sure,

you can't keep your freak in.

You can only let it out.

- But...

- Shh.

[singing] I was just like you

Curious about the great unknown

- But I...

- Ah.

[singing] I was just like you

So young,
but so ready to be grown

- It's just that...

- Uh-uh.

[singing]
There's a very big chance

That it won't go away

But who am I to say?

Find out for yourself

- Well, that doesn't
sound very inspiring.

- Hush, my child.

This is my solo.

[singing] There's a very big
chance,
a really big chance

An overwhelmingly
not-in-your-favor chance

That it won't go away

But who am I to say?

Both: [singing]
Find out for

- [singing] Your...
- [singing] My

both: [singing]
Yourself

[laughter]

- But I'm afraid I'll
never find my tribe.

If only the Lord
would send me a sign.

- Telegram.

- "Von Snap family."

Stop.

"Looking for
a new lead singer."

Stop.

"Must love freaks
and pine cones."

both: Stop.

- Don't stop.

Maybe the
Von Snaps are my tribe.

No offense.

- Mariah, this is your sign.

- Uh, yeah.

- [singing] Find out for your...

- Yeah, I got it.

Yourself

[applause]

[doorbell rings]

- Hello, hello, hello.

You must be the Von Snaps.

I'm your new lead singer,
Mariah Grande.

Tell me about yourselves.

[whistle tooting]

- [singing] My name is Strudel

I like churning butter

Sometimes I doodle
and suck a goat's udder

- Very farm to table.

[sheep bahs]

- [singing] My name is
Schnitzel,
and I want to marry

But all the boys tell me
my schnitzel is too hairy

- Oh, that's very personal.

- [singing] My name is Diesl

I like sitting on pine cones

French kissing kittens
and sitting on pine cones

- And smelling my pine cones
and dating my pine cones.

- Wow, that's very
specific, but that's OK.

All we need is a little...
Um, flash, pizzazz, sparkle.

- Oh, so you want us
to drag the sh*t up?

- Where should we start?

- How about at the
very beginning?

- That's a very
good place to start.

Hit it.

[singing]
I'll say a word

Then you say first thing
that comes to your mind

When I say that word

Yeah, say anything

No, don't you dare think twice

Let's drag this sh*t up

Let it flow

I'll start, and then you go

Girl

[singing together]
Girl

- [singing] Like girl,
I'll have some tea

- [singing] Tea

[singing together]
Tea

- [singing] Like,
when we're throwing shade

- [singing] Shade

[singing together]
Shade

- [singing] My favorite shady
tree

- [singing] Not what I was
thinking

But let's start again
with girl, girl, girl

[singing together]
Girl

- [singing] A name my friends
call me

- [singing] Tea

[singing together]
Tea

- [singing] Come sit next to me

- [singing] Shade

[singing together]
Shade

- [singing] My other favorite
tree

- [singing] You really don't get
this

But let's start again
with girl, girl, girl

[singing together]
Girl, give me that tea

When I got tea, I'ma throw shade

I'ma throw shade under that tree

- [singing] Let's start again
with girl, girl, girl

[singing together]
Girl, give me that tea

When I got tea, I'ma throw shade

I'ma throw shade under that tree

- [singing] Let's start again
with girl, girl, girl

- [singing] Tea.
- [singing] Shade

- [singing] Pine cone

[sinister dramatic music]

both: Hey, girls.

- We couldn't help but
overhear your little...

Was that a musical number?

It was cute.

- We're enemies, right?

So let us give you the tea.

- No one in the Swish
Alps wants to hear whatever

freaky music you call that.

- You're all 16
going on nowhere.

- We're actually in our 20s.

- So in conclusion,
you should break up.

[singing] Break up
- [singing] Bye-bye

- [singing] Bye-bye

- [singing] Maybe we'll see you

both: [singing]
In the next life

So long

- [singing] So long
- [singing] So long

- [singing] Farewell
- [singing] Farewell

both: [singing]
We'll see you in hell

- You can't stop us.

- Oh, yes, we can.

We stole this thing
from your car.

So good luck getting to
the Salzburg Rusic Music

Singing Competition Festival.

- And Tournament.

- We'll never make it
to the competition now.

[applause]

[dramatic classical music]

[singing together]
It's competition day

And the tensions are higher

There's a Baroness

Her p*ssy is on fire

But where oh where
are the Von Snaps and Mariah?

- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

[singing together] It's the
Salzburg
Rusic Music Singing

Competition Festival
Tournament and Hair Show

- OK.

Give it up for Mother
Superior and the Bad Habits.

Thank you, ladies.

And now, it's time
for Mariah and the Von

Snap Family Singers.

[horn fanfare]

I said, Mariah and
the Family Von Snap.

[horn fanfare]

Looks like they're a no-show.

I guess that means
next up is everybody's

favorite nationalist
and reigning

champions, the Baroness
Bronn and her Baronettes.

- It is my privilege to be
with you here this evening.

- [laughs]

- [singing] If you're walking
through a field

Of beautiful white flowers

And you see a lonely red rose

That's fragrant and pewter

You should go over to that

Unique and gorgeous red flower

And tear it out by the root

Believe me, believe me

How can I be wrong if I'm right?

- Is she saying right or white?

- Get your freaking
feet off the stage.

[singing together]
Conformity

- I love it.

[singing together]
Uniformity

- Ah, that's a good one too.

[singing together]
Nationality

- My favorite!

[singing together]
And talent

- [singing] Bring it home

all: [singing]
Believe me, believe me

How can I be wrong if I'm right?

- For the 36th year in a row,
the winner of the Salzburg

Rusic Music Singing
Competition Festival

Tournament Hair Show
and Swap Meet is the Baroness...

- Wait.

- How did you get here?

- It's literally
a five-minute walk.

You may have stolen
our spark plugs,

but you couldn't
steal our sparkles.

- Actually,
we stole your distributor cap.

- But your wordplay is adorable.

- All that matters is
that we're here now,

and we want to
let our freak out.

- That sounds vile.

- Maybe to you, but one
group doesn't get to dictate

what's right for everybody.

We have a right to sing our
own music in our own style.

Hit it.

[dance music]

[singing] What do you do if you
can't find your tribe

And you don't feel alive

And you just want to thrive?

- [singing] What do you do when
you
know that you're stuck

And you're down on your luck,
and you just had enough?

- [singing] Don't be scared
of your strange

Life is short

Do it your way

[singing together] If you dance
to
a different b*at

And you want to let your fantasy

Baby, it's time to blow

Let the freak out in you

- [singing] What do you do when
you're ready to change

And when you finally change,
then it all turns out great?

- [singing] What do you do when
you find a pine cone

And you love that pine cone,
and you can't take it home?

- Diesl!

- What?

That's my narrative.

[singing together] If you dance
to a different b*at

And you want to
live your fantasy

Baby, it's your time to blow

Let the freak out in you

- And the winner is
Mariah and the Von Snaps.

- Yay!

All: [singing]
Let the freak out

Let the freak out

Let the freak out in you

- So if someone wanted
to let out her inner freak,

how would she do it?

Asking for a friend.

- Come on, it's fun.

Smell my pine cone.

- Mm, I'm not there yet.

- And what have we
learned from all this?

[singing together]
Find your song

Learn it well

Sing out strong

And find out for your...

Yourself

[cheers and applause]

- Category is,
I Could Buy Myself Flowers.

Up first, Plasma.

Don't rain on my parade.

- So my favorite movie
musicals of all time are

"My Fair Lady" and...
You guessed it... "Funny Girl."

And of course in "Funny Girl"
she gets a blue marble egg

and yellow roses.

So I'm decked in yellow roses.

How do you do?

- She's also known as the
Yellow Rose of Sylmar.

[laughter]

- Sapphira Cristál.

- Ooh, wow.
- Ooh.

- Y'all, this bitch
is pollinated.

- This is my fantasy drag.

Big, huge petals as wings.

I'm such a big flower, I can
barely fit on the runway,

and that is Sapphira Cristál.

She cannot be contained.

- You down with FTD?

- Yeah, you know me.

- Morphine.

- Is it just me,
or does that outfit

make her look a little hippie?

- My runway look is
flower child Miami girl

who went back in time to the


and is just happy to be there.

And oop, there's
something in my tongue.

Oh, the good, old days.

- Oh, she's seeing trails.

- You know where she lives?

- Where?

- On the corner of
Assbury and Hate.

- Maya.

- She's Pearl Bailey,
in the musical version

of "Citizen Kane."

- That's exactly
what I was thinking.

- It's called Rosebud.

- This look is 100% representing

Mhi'ya Iman Le'Paige.

I chose to be a rose, full of
stones, glitz, and glamour.

- You heard of the book
"Flowers in the Attic"?

- Uh-huh.

- Well, this is
"Flowers in the Ass."

[laughter]

Dawn.

I hear the new season of
"The Bachelorette" is twisted.

- This runway is Gol-Dawn.

She is a forlorn lover.

She's been dead for years, and
she's kind of pissed about it.

Inspired by dead
flowers on gravestones,

and I'm really
sad, but gorgeous.

- Every Rose has its horn.

- That's true.

- Megami.

- Oh, my god, my beautiful
wedding dress is stained.

- And from the Wisteria
Lane Lingerie Collection.

- It's my wedding day, so I'm
giving you a sexy and chic

and maybe a little
bit of campy bride.

Honey, I'm getting deflowered.

- Tonight's the night.

- Nymphia.

- Isn't she a sight
for sore "cact-eyes."

Oh, guys, she's a
grower, not a shower.

- Yeah.

- This look is very
Nymphia because it's

very camp and very unexpected
and well made, of course.

How could I miss that part?

- Actually,
she woke up like this.

It's a duvet.

- It's cute.

- I loathe hydrangeas.

- I'm serving lotus
mantis, more creature-esque

with the very long arms.

Lurching down this runway,
every detail on this outfit

is thought out.

I'm always going
to surprise you.

- She's giving alien glitter,
table centerpiece hooker.

- At least someone
is getting laid.

- Plane Jane.

- Kids, you can lead
a whore to culture.

- I'm giving you Rapunzel,
and I'm pulling my hair.

And on the very tail
end, my beautiful prince.

This look is a little
bit different for me,

but I'm still giving
you that element

of camp that you've
come to know,

love, and expect from me.

- Have you met
her new boyfriend?

- No.

- He's just a doll.

- Xunami.

Xunami is starring
in the new production

of "Little Shop of Whores."

- Yeah.

What I'm giving
today on the runway

is an upside-down bouquet.

I have my cellophane
stall around me.

The bodice are the stems, and
the ruffles are the flowers,

so the ruffles in motion
are fully bringing

the whole fantasy alive.

- You know her favorite author?

- No.

Who?

- Judy "Bloom."

- You are silly.

- Welcome, queens.

I've made some decisions.

But first, one immunity potion
is still in circulation.

Plane Jane, do you wish
to use it this week?

[dramatic music]

- I'm not thirsty, mama.

- I'll be the judge of that.

When I call your name,
please step forward.

Dawn.

Nymphia Wind.

Plane Jane.

Xunami Muse.

Good job this week, ladies.

You are all safe.

You may leave the stage.

Now it's time for the
judges' critiques.

Up first, Plasma.

- This look tonight,
this is beautiful.

Though very
Dolly Levi, it's you.

- It is gorgeous.

- Let's talk about the rusical.

Taking the main role
is always a risk.

It could have been do, ray, meh,

but it was do, ray, major.

You had so many nuances that
makes the theater the theatre.

There were no crumbs left.

- The amount of dialogue you
just had to learn to lip sync,

you had to do the most
dancing, and you never wavered,

you should be incredibly proud.

- You were fantastic.

I mean, just the energy,
you were in it.

- Thank you so much.

- All right,
let's move on to Sapphira.

- This is a masterpiece.

It's very carnival,
but it's just so beautiful.

Where Plasma excelled
as the leading actress,

you soared
as the supporting actress.

Bitch stole the show
in a supporting role.

You gave me what I wanted from
you, complete with old-school,

drag queen lip quivers.

- It was all the extras that
you brought to the character,

the timing with the "shh."

You know, the extras
is what made it sing.

- And you made
it feel effortless.

- Adam, I... mm, I felt
comfortable in your hands.

I felt like I wanted
to please you.

- So far, everything needs to be

cut from what you're saying.

- Up next, Morphine.

- I love that you did a flower
power, sort of hippie moment.

And the fact that you stoned
this outfit brings it to drag.

- I think the sleeves are great,

but I don't like that
they're not lined.

I can see so much of
the back of the fabric.

But that wig, girl, is gorgeous.

That headpiece, I loved.

- In the production,
what I loved

about you was your energy.

You had the moves
and the lyrics,

and you were performing.

But there was just something
more you could have brought.

- You had your moments.

I just want you to feel
the confidence to bump

it up a little bit extra.

- Up next, Maya.

- This look tonight, Maya,
you just look beautiful.

I like this bang on you.

It's a little long,
but the look,

in general, is so pretty.

- That's the first time Michelle

didn't like a long bang.

[laughter]

- And tonight, you never failed,

but you succeeded
in some ways that

were very, very remarkable and
then less so in other places.

Like, you were in your head.

- Clearly, you could dance.

The issue is I could see
the work and the steps

and the counting.

If your face isn't
projecting joy,

it kind of pulls you out of it.

- And I was losing where your
face was meant to be going.

I'm not sure you knew
where to be looking.

At one point, your veil
was over your head.

- I've seen you get out
here in these lip syncs,

and you just work it,
and you are in it.

We needed that same thing
tonight in the rusical.

All right, up next, Megami.

- I really like this look.

I think it's really fun, and I
think you look really pretty.

- I'm a bride who
discovers, like, oh, my god,

my dress is stained.

What am I going to do?

Grab the floral arrangements
and just make it work.

- Mm.

We needed that longer, I think.

- I would have kept walking
down the runway with it

and then thrown it off
down here in front.

- You got to be Schnitzel.

I feel like I get one look.

And I'm not talking
about your drag.

I'm talking about your face.

It's the same point
of view all the time.

So if you're doing a different
character like you were

this time,
it shouldn't be the same

as your down-and-out fairy
or Statue of Liberty.

Even tonight in this, it's
the same face, same delivery.

I want you to let the drag
deliver the personality.

- It did make me
laugh in the musical.

When you delivered the
line about your schnitzel

being hairy, that was funny.

- I felt like when it was
time for Megami to be funny,

she was funny.

And then she'd step
back, and suddenly,

then, she was just Megami.

- All right.

Up next, it's Q.

- In the challenge, perfection.

Oh, it was so funny,
and with a giant stole,

you pretty much stole the show.

- You're a handful.

- We know that dancing
is not your thing.

- No.
- But you pulled it off.

The choreography,
the movement, it all worked.

- Wait. What choreo?

Like, she walked back and
forth with a f*cking rug.

Any of us could have done that.

- That was pretty MVP
stuff that you did.

That b*at, that full Amanda
Lepore that you went,

God love you.

You're A plus, plus, plus, plus.

- And I absolutely love this
look, because it's like,

oh, bitch,
you're going to challenge me

for a flower runway?

Well, guess what.

I brought the whole
m*therf*cking garden.

I think your real
strength is subtlety.

[laughter]

- Thank you, ladies.

I think we've heard enough.

While you relax in
the Untucked lounge,

the judges and I
will deliberate.

All right, just between
us, squirrel friends,

I want to know what you think.

Let's start with Plasma.

- That, tonight,
was a Broadway audition.

And guess what.

She got the gig.

- Fantastic.

Couldn't take my
eyes off of her.

Let's move on down to Sapphira.

- Can we talk about
that runway moment?

Oh, my god, that broke
"Drag Race" for a second.

- Yeah, that runway was
Georgia O'Queef down.

- Mother Superior, indeed.

She was absolutely superior.

- All right, let's move
on down to Morphine.

- She did a good job tonight.

I just felt like she could
have given more of a character.

- She didn't know exactly
where she fit into the puzzle

all the time.

- All right,
let's move on down to Maya.

- Where Morphine lacked
a bit of a character,

Maya had no character, so
that was my problem with her.

- It's been a reoccurring theme.

She is so timid,
so reserved for this nun,

it's becoming a habit.

- Oh, my god.

- All right,
let's talk about Megami.

- I will say, Michelle, I get
what you're saying about it

being a bit repetitive
with what she's

bringing in these challenges.

But I laughed when she
delivered the big line

about hairy schnitzel.

- But again,
all of her attention

is going into the stuff
that she finds appealing,

and then the other stuff, she's
just not paying attention to.

Every moment of
being on this show

is being like waiting in the
wings off camera in character.

- That's right.

- You have to always
be prepared to pounce.

- All right, let's talk about Q.

- In the rusical,
she was hilarious, polished,

committed, and flawless.

- I thought that the
Baroness and the Baronets

were some of the showstopping
highlight-y things for me.

And Q was the
leader of that pack.

- That's how you do it.

In fact, all of the
Baronets were fantastic.

- If you just zoom
in on her face

as the character in the rusical,

and then into her pink
makeup on the runway,

that's the same human being.

- Yeah, that's wild.
- That's a verse.

She's verse.

I'm telling you.

- She did something
completely different,

but impeccably done.

So therefore...

- Silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my goyles.

Welcome back, queens.

I've made some decisions.

Plasma, as Mariah, you had
confidence, and it showed.

Sapphira, as Mother Superior,
you were superior.

[tense music]

Q, as the Baroness,
you could do no wrong.

Plasma, condragulations,
you're the winner

of this week's challenge.

[upbeat music]

You've won a cash prize, $5,000.

- Thank you so much.

I've been telling y'all
that this was my challenge.

- You three may join
the other girls.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- And I think I
deserve this win.

- Morphine,
the judges enjoyed your flower,

child, but your sister act
needed a divine intervention.

Maya, your runway
was rosy, but the judges

were none too pleased.

Megami, your runway
was blooming fabulous,

but as a Von Snap, you
needed more crackle and pop.

[tense music]

Morphine, you are safe.

You may join the other girls.

- Thank you.

- That means Maya and
Megami, I'm sorry, my dears,

but you are both
up for elimination.

- It's 100% game on, because I
have to send this bitch home.

- Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last
chance to impress me and save

yourself from elimination.

[dramatic music]

The time has come for you
to lip sync

for your life.

- Maya is known for
her flips and tricks,

and this is not a dance-y song.

Everything is down
to this one moment,

and I need to get the emotion
and sell it to the judges.

- Good luck,
and don't f*ck it up.

[Miley Cyrus' "Flowers"]

- [singing] We were good

We were gold

Kind of dream that can't be sold

We were right till we weren't

Built a home and watched it burn

Mm, I didn't wanna leave you

I didn't want to lie

Started to cry,
but then remembered I...

I can buy myself flowers

Write my name in the sand

- So Megami seems to think
she has this in the bag.

But, Megami,
just get out of my way,

and just let me own this stage.

No flips involved.

- [singing] No remorse, no
regret

I forgive every word you said

Ooh, I didn't want
to leave you, babe

I didn't want to fight

Started to cry

- Megami is taking
off her shoes?

- Cardinal sin, diva.

- [singing] I can take myself
dancing, yeah

I can hold my own hand

- But the shoes come off,
and the church comes out.

- [singing]... love me better
than you can

Can love me better

I can love me better

Can love me better

I can love me better

I didn't want to leave you

I didn't want to fight

Started to cry,
but then remembered I...

I can buy myself flowers

Write name in the sand

- You better pay with slide.

- [singing] Yeah, I can love
me better than...

Yeah, I can love me
better than you can

Can love me better

I can love me better, baby

Can love me better, I

[cheers and applause]

- Wow.

- Queens, I've made my decision.

[tense music]

Maya, shantay, you stay.

You may join the other girls.

- Thank you.

[applause]

- Megami, my queen,
from the BK to the USA

and beyond, now, sashay away.

- Thank you.

I'm so happy I got
to experience this.

Have fun with
all these idiots here.

I love them so much.

Thank you.
[laughs]

- Megami, love you.

- We love you, Megami.

- Everyone watching,
support local drag

and protect q*eer art.

Thank you.

- Yes!

[applause]

- Didn't expect to
be leaving so soon,

and I felt like
I won that lip sync.

I felt like I put my heart
and my soul into that song.

But I just hope that I

made the people
in my life proud,

and I think I did a good job.

- Condragulations, queens.

And remember, if you can't
love yourself, how in the hell

you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

[together]
Amen!

- All right.

Now, let the music play.

[RuPaul's
"A Little Bit of Love"]

[singing] A little bit of love
goes a long, long way

Lifting you up to a brighter day

Can you feel the love?

- Next time on
"RuPaul's Drag Race"...

we are playing the Snatch Game.

- [singing] Get me the f*ck out
of here

- You are a very ugly man.

[laughter]

- Ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaa.

- I'm blown away
by your artistry.

It just literally was no
character and just talking.

- I'm upset that you
got the role, because I

could have done that sh*t too.

- If the tension wasn't already
high, mama, it's sky high.

[RuPaul's
"A Little Bit of Love"]

- [singing] A little bit of love
goes a long, long way

Lifting you up to a brighter day

A little bit of love
goes a long, long way

Turn it around,
lift you up and say

Everybody say love

Love, love, love, oh, love, love

Love, love, love, oh, love

Now, can you feel the love?