01x20 - Prince Hippo

[bunniefuu]

- After I do the cut, there's
going to be a lot of blood.

But after much trial and error,

I think I found a way
to stop it.

You're going to be fine.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Hippo, drop everything.
- Ahh!

- I didn't mean literally,
but fine.

- Um, are we good here?
- No, we're not.

Because every time
I try to do one thing

to actually advance science,
I get interrupted.

- I actually meant
all this red.

- Anyway, they're having
a launch ceremony

for our new unsinkable boat.

- Why would I go to that?

- Well, as the designer
of the unsinkable boat,

it wouldn't instill
much confidence

if you didn't show up.

- It doesn't run on belief.

It's unsinkable whether
I'm there or not.

- Come on,
I've always wanted a navy.

All the serious cities
have one,

and the whole family
has to make a showing.

- All right.

- We got some yellow
leaking too now.

- You'll be fine.

Exactly as fine
as you were before.

[whispers] But I was going
to make you a god.

- Aw, nuts.

[dramatic lyre music]

♪ ♪

[grand music]

- Come on, roll faster.

- Literally, no part of me
was designed for land.

Anyone else
in my situation couldn't

do a tenth of what I do.

I am so unappreciated
in this--

Ahh!
- Oh, not again.

- Not again?

Did the sea creature who
overcame every single obstacle

to live on land
and built your entire city

for you almost die?

Is that what you're saying?
Not again?

- I'm just saying
it happens a lot.

- And half the time
it's your fault.

Either you trip me
or you step on my wheels

or you blow that whistle that's
the exact right frequency

to shatter my helmet.

- That whistle
is designed to scare away

the birds that keep
swooping at my hair,

and I will not
apologize for that.

- Navy sucks! Army rules!

- I like the enthusiasm,

but that's not really
the spirit of the event.

- Where are my gods at?

Oh, right.
Not here.

Stupendous,
block the light, will you?

- You know I'm a warrior,
right?

Not some kind of butt-kiss
head priestess or something.

- Well, you're my daughter.

I created you and didn't leave
you on a rock for coyotes.

So I don't know
what job title you'd prefer,

but the sun is in my eyes,
so block it.

- Get a head priestess.

- All right, are we ready

to go wave at some sailors
and launch a boat?

Hippo, let's go.
We could be on the dock by now.

[all grunting]

[all cheering]

[all screaming]
- Unexpected.

- Oh, god!

It's sinking as fast
as the sinkable ships.

[gurgling]

- Well, I still don't
like being late.

- What the hell is that?
- And who the hell built it?

- And why the hell is there
no food at this ceremony?

[door whirs]

[ominous music]

- Food's here.

- So there's an entire
kingdom under the ocean?

- Atlantis, yes.

We're known for our
beautiful parks.

And secondarily,
for being underwater.

- They call it the
"Babylon of the Ocean."

- Babylon is the
Atlantis of the land.

- We came as soon
as we knew, brother.

- Knew?

Look, this is when you
threw up on Agamemnon.

- That wound up on
the gossip vases?

I didn't know there
were potterazzi there.

Well, that's cool.

- I don't understand.

- One of our own
out in the wild.

You're one of us.

You didn't know?

- An Atlantean?
Did you know, Hippo?

Did you, Dad?
- I knew I'd slept with a fish.

One does know every
fish has a story.

- My first memories involve
a lot of muck and survival.

Mostly muck, but also survival.

Can't recall a sea paradise.

- You must have lost
your way somehow.

But now, it's time
for you to come home.

- Eh, I'm good.
- Oh, Hippo.

Oh, I'm sorry, he's weird.
Wait, are all Atlanteans weird?

No offense.
He's just so weird.

Now, I don't imagine you'd
be interested in trading

one of your boats
for a shipwreck?

No?
OK.

But we could give you,
for example, fire.

Although I'm not sure
how we'd get it to you.

I'm going to assume
it's pretty wet down there.

- We must leave.

These suits will keep us
alive only for so long.

If your brother wishes
to return to Atlantis,

he must decide.
- Right.

No worries about the boats
and the drowned soldiers then.

Or the rug.

- There.

Now you won't forget to
put your fingie in the hole.

- Thank you.

- Hippo, there is a secret
underwater civilization

with a boat
that goes underwater--

and not in a sinking way--
and you're not going to visit?

- I've been underwater.
I came out for a reason.

- What about seeing
where you're from?

Getting to know your people?
Maybe you could find your mom.

- I'll pass.

If a sea mom takes an interest
in her newborn children,

it's usually because
she wants to eat them.

- Wouldn't you
like to find out?

- Do me a favor.

Let's not pretend
this is about me.

You want to go down there
to be a monarch

and meet another monarch
and do dumb monarching things

like trade negotiations
or something.

- It's called kinging.

And I can't do it
if you don't go.

- Then I guess you can't do it.
- It's just a visit.

We'd be stronger than Sparta
if we had one of those boats.

I'll give you immunity.
- Full immunity.

- Full.
- When?

- One time of your choosing.

- For any crime against city,
man, god, or you?

- Full immunity.

I really like kinging.

[panting]

[doors whir]

- What do you think of this
at the foot of the bed?

Or up here on the ceiling?

Ugh, now the rest of
the ceiling looks so bare.

- This is why you wouldn't
let me go w*apon shopping

with my brother?
I knew it.

- Still waiting for
an answer on the divan.

Yes? No?

- Knock-knock.

I hope I'm not interrupting.

- Who is this?

k*ll her for me.

- Oh, I can wait outside.

I just didn't know
if I was supposed

to meet you in here or--
- No, no. Come in.

Mom, this is the head of
one of your Delirian cults.

She's going to be your
new head priestess.

- I see.

Are yours the grovelers
or the loud ones

who really want to engage?

You'll forgive me,
I do get the sects confused.

- Oh, don't you worry
about any of that.

I'm here for you,
not the other way around.

You focus on how you
want to spend your time,

and I'll take care
of everything else.

Oh, you know, I'm sorry,
but can I just say--

I hope this isn't
inappropriate.

I love your home.

- Do you?
- Are you kidding?

I mean, I would have
expected that your sense

of interior design
would be unmatched.

You're the goddess Deliria.

But still, to see it, it--

I'm sorry, I'm fawning.
Oh. [laughs]

- Oh, no. Fawn away.

- Obviously, I live to serve.

But apart from the temples,
if you ever needed help

around the palace,
like if you wanted

to hang more of these
incredible drapes,

for example--
- [gasps] Ooh, more drapes.

Interesting.
Do you think that would work?

Where would you put them?
- Good. See, Mom?

She's going to
take care of you.

If you want someone
to boss around

and thank you for doing it,
that'll be her.

- Stupendous, please.

I am trying to speak
with my priestess.

- OK then, maybe I'll
go find a bear to fight.

Or a bear made out
of other bears.

What are those bears
think they're up to?

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

- So do you really
have no interest

in seeing where you're from?

- I guess the tech
is interesting,

but I'm in it for the immunity.

You got a clear sense of
what you want down there

so we can be in and out quick?

I know I said in and out.
That does not require you to--

- Not too quick, I should hope.

Although in some cases,
that's just the thing.

- Gotta remember
to think before I speak.

Seriously, though,
I got work to do up there.

What's your plan?
- Well,

since we're the first land
people to discover Atlantis,

I'm thinking we could be
exclusive trading partners.

- Exclusive
and trading partners

seem to be a contradiction,
but color me intrigued.

[loud thud]

- You guys better
put your suits on.

♪ ♪

- Welcome home, Hippocampus,
prince of Atlantis.

- Prince?
- Prince?

- I know why
we're saying prince,

because I've been
paying attention.

But if anyone did
want to explain--

all: Hail. Hail. Hail.
Hail. Hail. Hail.

- I could actually
get used to this.

all: Hail. Hail. Hail.

- You know, I have to admit,
this place is incredible.

Look at the lights,
the vehicles,

the no people fighting or
urinating in the streets.

- I'm happy you like it,
Your Highness.

And I hope you'll
make it your home.

- I'm seriously considering it.

Hey, guys, come on, keep up.

Tired of having to
accommodate you.

- Very well done.
- Touché.

- Perfectly played.
- Bull's-eye.

- Ouchie-ouchie.

- Over here is our
transportation hub.

And this is one of our
many beautiful parks.

- I particularly appreciate
how you've rounded up

all your criminals
for our visit.

That's something
we in Krapopolis

need to do better at, actually.

- You'll find
no criminals here.

We only have
a single jail cell.

Mostly for when people hit
the clam juice too hard.

- So there is alcohol.

Well, that answers
my first three questions.

- I spent my whole
life thinking

I'd come from nothing,
but this isn't the muck.

This is advanced society.

- Surely you sensed
you were special.

- I did.
I just didn't know why.

- Well, now that we know, let's
talk alliances, technology.

We're very interested
in the ships,

the artificial light,
the squid zappers.

[squid shrieks]

- Interested in hearing more
about this clam juice as well.

- Well, we've scheduled
a meeting for Tyrannis

and your father to discuss
an exchange of m*llitary

and technological information.

But for you, Hippocampus,

we have something
much bigger planned.

You're going to
meet your mother.

- Eh, kind of more into
the tech thing, to be honest.

- Hippo, with the "ehs,"
seriously?

- I guess I'm just not
that geeked about moms.

- Oh, I remember her.

- Hello, son.

- Mom?

[water whooshes]

[all screaming]

- Oh, I'm so sorry.
Do you have an appointment?

- Seriously?
- Oh, that's just my daughter.

Let her in.
- Welcome.

- Stupendous, I see
you've met my priestess.

- We already met, Mom.
- Just started yesterday.

- Yeah, I was there.
- And already indispensable.

You were there.
Are you sure?

- I set it up, remember?
- Priestess,

was my daughter here
yesterday when you arrived?

- She was, yes.
- Oh.

I suppose you were here.

- Wait a minute,
did you give her the--

- Pendant that contains a small
portion of my power?

Yes, enabling her to act
in my name

as my divine representative.

- Why would you do that, Mom?
You just met this person.

- It makes it easier for her
to assist me, of course.

Leaves me more time
to follow my bliss.

- Are you messing with me
because you're mad

I don't want to be
your servant?

- Oh, are you jealous,

because I found
someone who appreciates

her position beneath me?

- If I may?

It must be challenging for
your daughter to suddenly

have a new person in your life.

- That's not it.

- Didn't I tell you
about her moods?

Ugh, that's why I gave you
my necklace, by the way.

What would she do with it?

[foreboding music]

- I'm sorry my tear
caused a benthic storm.

I'm not used to the physics
down here, I guess.

- Don't give it
another thought.

Look at you,
you're one in a million.

- Aww.

- I'll never forget
the day you were born.

[mystical music]

♪ ♪

- Whoa, I think I actually
remember that.

Is that possible?

- I believe so,
particularly with you.

I could see even then
that you were special.

- Well, you know, I do my best.

- How did you manage to solve
the land breathing problem?

Our technology allows us
to stay on land

only for about an hour.

- Oh, you need
a filtration system.

- Incredible.

Sketch it out for me.

- So that right there is
our meat deworming facility.

Meat deworming is something you
guys should really look into.

[burps]
Excuse me.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Getting back to
the tunnels, though.

What's the standard on
secret tunnels in the back?

- Quite common.
We've got plenty of them.

Here, here, here.

And this one leads
right into my bedroom,

in case we're being invaded,

and I just don't want
to deal with it.

- Mm-hmm.

And the entrance
to that tunnel?

I mean, the exit.

- Son, I've bugged
out of enough cities

to know when people are
planning a surprise att*ck.

And I have to say,
these people have done nothing

but explore our
m*llitary weaknesses.

- Oh, nonsense.
They're just being thorough.

- How many men,
just as a thought exercise,

do you think it
would take to, say,

I don't know, thoroughly
overwhelm your civilization

and k*ll all land dwellers,
hmm?

- [grunting]

[cultists chanting]

- Hittites.

I hate these guys.

- That which is given
we now use to take.

Through us shall she be known
and through us alone.

- I knew she was up
to something janky.

[gem chimes]

- Yeah, so this is how you build
a helmet more or less like mine.

You can stay on land
indefinitely

with one of these.

- Ingenious.

May I show this
to my science team?

- I'd be insulted
if you didn't.

- My son.

- Oh, no, get ready
for some more blubbering.

Because this guy
just became a crier.

But seriously,
do we need to worry about

another one of those
crazy water storms?

- Yes.

- Hippo, I'm very nervous
about the amount of information

we've been giving them.
- Yes.

And in exchange
for very little,

you have to drink about
a gallon of clam juice

before you even feel
the slightest thing.

We must have practically
bathed in it.

- I do not remember you.
- What are you saying?

- They're probing our
weaknesses, Hippo.

- Wow.
I'm sorry, Mom.

- No, no,
they're absolutely right.

We will be attacking
the land in the morning.

- See?

They'll be attacking
the land in--oh, no.

- [panting]
- What's happened?

Did you think of a comeback
to something I said days ago

and you just couldn't wait?
- No.

Your priestess--
- High priestess.

- She's here?
- No, high priestess.

She's my high priestess now.

It really allows me
to take a step back.

- She's a Hittite, Mom.
And you can say,

"Don't reinforce stereotypes,
Stupendous."

But she literally
was chanting

over the necklace you gave her.

It's some kind of witch biz.

- So she has a past.

Who doesn't?

- It's not her past,
it's her present.

And it's specifically
about k*lling gods.

- Oh, Stupendous,
I didn't think of you

as the jealous type.

- This has nothing
to do with jealousy.

You can't trust that priestess!

- Hi, Priestess.

- I don't care
what her title is.

I just care--

- No, I was saying hi
to the priestess.

- Hi.

- Mom, you can't
inv*de Krapopolis.

It's my home.

- Factually inaccurate at best.

- Do you not care
what I want at all?

- I told you,
you're one in a million.

[grunting]

According to our customs,
a brood of mixed heritage

must be birthed
outside city walls.

Most of your siblings
d*ed immediately,

some, admittedly,
by my own hand.

Jaws, actually.

Mmm.

It's been a while since
I've had babies.

I could go for some now.

Did you get the schematics?

- Yep. You got the helmet?

- He gave it up
without a fight.

All in all, not a bad visit.

- That's why you came for me.
You were using me.

- Oh, grow up.
Everyone uses everyone.

You think I like
the ambassador

accidentally brushing a fin
against my side gills

every time he squeezes past me?

- That's just--
I'm happily married.

I think you misunderstand.

- But I allow it
because his father

k*lled off the master whale.

Read an Atlantis history book.

It's a really big deal.

- So I'm garbage to you?

- On the contrary,
you've proved your superiority

the only way that matters.

By surviving.

You've earned
the right to join us

in our conquest of the land.

- Hard pass.

- That's fine too.

- Huh?
- All right, k*ll these guys?

- No. Jail is fine.

- All right, just let me
squeeze past you here.

[grunts]
There we go.

- Only one jail cell in
their whole civilization,

and here we are in it.

- Who cares how
many jail cells?

What difference does that make?

We're in jail either way.

- I'm just trying to
make conversation.

- All right now,
let's not fight.

- I want to fight, because it's
your fault we're down here.

I didn't want to come.
- Nice, huh?

- Is it your fault?

- Um, no?

- I knew it was stupid
to care about family.

- Wow, that smarts.

Not pulling any punches,
I guess.

- In or ex,
for present company 'clusion?

- I don't mean you guys.
You don't count.

You're like family.

- I'm tracing the logic here,

and I think I'm either
touched or furious.

- I wanted to be recognized
as special, to be loved.

And I was.

By you guys.

- Touched.
- Furious--ly touched.

I'm sorry,
I wasn't paying attention.

- I love you, brother.

[water whooshes]
Oh, come here.

- No, you idiot!
I'm breaking us out of here.

Take cover.
[water whooshing]

Brace yourselves.

- Oh, man, I gotta
lay off the clams.

[dramatic music]

[all screaming]

- I knew you were a bit woo-woo,
but this is too much.

What kind of Delirian
priestess are you?

- One who will speak
for Deliria,

represent Deliria, receive
her prayers and offerings.

There is no higher authority
on the will of Deliria than I.

- Except for Deliria.

- Oh, she's not around.

Deliria worship will go so much
more smoothly without Deliria.

You'll see,
as you watch powerless

from within this gem.

- And now we're both dying.

I can't believe you.

- None of this would have
happened if you weren't

so offended by the idea
of helping your mother.

- I have no problem
helping you.

I just don't like being
taken for granted.

- [gasps] I have never
taken you for granted.

You're one of my
prized possessions.

- I'm not a possession, Mom.

I'm my own person.

- Seems like splitting hairs.

- You can ask me to help,
but you don't get to tell me to.

It's my decision!

- Well, if it's really
that important to you,

Stupendous,
permission to act freely

with regard to saving
or not saving our lives.

Whatever feels right to you.
- Good enough.

[grunting]

- You're too late.
The gem will be satisfied.

- OK.

- [screams]

- Excellent arm snap.

- Thanks for noticing.

[chuckles]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- All right, we're here.

But now what?
How do we stop the invasion?

- The same way you stop birds
from flying into your hair.

- There's a few.

Bird poison?
Oh.

But what about you?

- Ty-proofing is built into
my budget at this point.

Blow that thing.

[whistle blows]

[glass shattering]

[all screaming]

[all gasping]

- This is the choice you make?

I may not have been
the greatest mother.

- You make my mother look like
a--well, like a barracuda.

But a better barracuda.

She at least never
tried to eat me.

- Well--

- Everything I did
made you strong.

But you'd rather live in a
place where you move slower?

Where you're weaker?
Where you're a freak?

Is that what you're telling me?

- My strength doesn't
come from being

the one fish who swam
the right direction

and didn't get eaten.

It comes from everything
I did after that.

The experience, the struggle,

the same way
land people struggle.

Gravity without water
is a real pain in the ass.

What makes me strong
is the weakness.

I don't want to be strong
because I belong

to a tribe of smug bullies
who, by the way,

aren't half as special
as they think they are.

- Why, you little treacherous--

oh, that's it.

Ahh!

- My sons, two of the best
orgasms I've ever had.

- Oh.
- Why?

[dramatic music]

- My name is Philbert.

I used to be an
ordinary net weaver.

But then fortune weaved
a different net.

- [chuckling]
- [grunts]

♪ ♪

I nearly d*ed.

- Fun.

- But instead,
I became something more.

♪ ♪

Now, I fight crime

while trying to find the man
who took my net.

- [grunts]

- Time to weave some nuts.

[metal clanks]
- [screams]

- But in the meantime, I've
found the biggest net of all--

[all screaming]

The heart of this city.

♪ ♪

- Uh, is somebody on the roof?

Because why?

- Did you get any of that?

- Bento.
[all cheering]