02x24 - Your Place or Mine?

[bunniefuu]

[kyra] dad, there's
something I have to tell you.

I want to move in with
you and barbra jean. What?

I said, I want to move in
with you and barbra jean.

And you tell me this now, with your
mother in the house? She's upstairs.

That doesn't make any difference.
These floors are paper-thin.

Look, I know you don't
want to upset mom.

Hey, if your mom's mad
at me, I'll deal with that.

The real issue here is whether or
not you've thought this thing through.

No, I haven't. It just occurred
to me a few minutes ago.

I thought, "dad and barbra jean's
walls are a different color than mom's.

I should live here."

Kyra, I'm serious. So am i.

Face it, at mom's, it's elizabeth
first, then jake, van and cheyenne.

I'm always last. When jake got
a turtle, I moved down one spot.

Sweetheart,

Nothing would make me happier
than to have you living here with me.

But, listen,

You have to be absolutely sure this is
what you want before we tell your mother.

I'm sure. I mean,
I'm pretty sure.

That's not good enough, honey.

I don't wanna put her through
that unless we absolutely have to.

And you can't tell anyone that we had
this conversation. Nobody can know. Okay?

and the neighbor
on the other side,

The one that just
got out of rehab,

She seems a little nosy.

Yeah, she'll be drinkin' again.

Hey, hey, hey, guys. Back
from the tour so soon?

Okay, what's going on?

Nothing.

Don't believe him, reba.

He's got his lyin' face on.

[Stammering] I'm not...
You know, mom,

Can we go to the store
before my party tonight?

I wanna get some nail
polish. Sure, honey.

- Bye, reba.
- Bye, barbra jean.

- Bye, reba.
- I'll be watchin' you.

Geez, barbra jean,

When I put on my lying face,

Don't point out that
I've put on my lying face!

So you were lying!

Yes. Yes!

Because kyra and I were discussing
whether she wants to move in here with us.

[Squealing] ohh! I know!

Kyra wants to move in
with us? Oh, this is so excitin'!

I wonder which place
mat she's gonna want...

The solar system
or the alphabet.

Wait a minute, brock.

Should we be happy?
This is a bad thing for reba.

Look, barbra jean, I don't
want reba to be hurt,

But yeah, yeah, I'm happy.

I mean, when I left, I was so worried
that kyra really resented me for it.

But obviously she doesn't.

Oh, brock,

You are one deep pool.

Who should I tell first?
No! No, you can't tell anyone.

But you know I
can't keep secrets!

That's why I was
such a bad mistress!

Barbra jean, promise me
that you won't tell anyone.

I promise.

Is that your lying face?

No. Oh, man!

[reba] ha, hey!

♪ my roots are
planted in the past ♪

♪ though my life
is changing fast ♪

♪ who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ a single mom who
works too hard ♪

♪ who loves her
kids and never stops ♪

♪ with gentle hands ♪

♪ and the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪♪

[crowd noise on tv]

Mmm! Hey.

Hey, sexy.

Mmm?

What are you doin'?

Stop it!

Come on! Cut it out!

No, seriously...
Seriously... Seriously, stop.

Hi, sweetie. [Chuckles]

Daddy had something on his neck.

Mommy bit it off.

Van, I don't think you need
to make excuses to a baby.

Yeah, but she's getting
bigger, cheyenne.

Well, that's our fault.
We keep on feeding her.

What I mean is,

I think she's starting to figure
out what we're doing. [Kissing]

I remember when it
happened to me as a kid.

I walked in my
parents' room and...

[Gagging]

We should move
her out of our room.

Where would you
suggest we put her?

Hey, how about
when we want to...

You know. [Whistles] huh?

We can tell your mom and
put elizabeth in with her.

Oh.

Oh. Mm-hmm.

Psst! Hey, guys.

Is reba around?

Uh... Yeah, she's around here
somewhere. Want me to go get her?

No, no, no, no! I don't
want her to see me.

I think I left henry's favorite
blankie here. Could you get it for me?

- Yeah.
- What's bothering you,
barbra jean?

I am carrying a
very delicate secret,

And I'm afraid if I see reba
I'm just gonna blurt it out.

- Hey, barbra jean.
- Ohh!

You orderin' burgers?

[Muffled chuckle]

Why are you
hanging in my window?

[Laughing]

- You all right?
- [Grunting]

I don't know what's
going on around here,

But I sure am liking
the new barbra jean.

Come on, little
girl. Come on, darlin'.

You don't have to just
hang in my window like that.

Just get completely
off the property.

Okay, I've got to
know this secret.

Oh, I can't tell you. I
promised. I won't tell.

I won't tell. Tell what?

Kyra's thinking about
moving in with me and your dad.

- What?
- [Gasps]

- And you can't tell anyone. Promise?
- We promise.

Good. Thank you.

And by the way, your
dad dyes his hair.

God!

Your dad dyes his hair?

Van, I cannot believe kyra.

Doesn't she know what
that would do to mom?

She is so selfish. You're
right. She's totally selfish.

Imagine how sad your mom's
gonna be walking by that door...

And peeking in that empty room.

Oh, wait a minute! I
just got a brilliant idea!

You mean we could
move elizabeth in there?

I was gonna nail the door
shut, but that is better!

Yeah!

okay, have fun. I want you
back in this door at 10:30.

Why do I have to have a curfew?
Why can't I just use my own judgment?

[Chuckles] well, let's see. I'm
torn between two classics.

"Because I said so," or "my
house, my rules." You pick.

Oh, so I only have to be an
adult when you want me to.

Kyra, you're 14 years old.

If I let you run wild, I'd
be a bad parent. Okay?

No. [Scoffs] then we go
with "my house, my rules."

And what if I don't accept
living under these conditions?

You don't have a
choice! 10:30, Kyra!



P.m.!

I really don't think this is the best
time to come down too hard on her, mrs. H.

Thanks for the
parenting tip, van.

Here's one for you...
Don't have a baby at 17.

I'm serious.

Ah, this oughta be fun.
And why shouldn't i?

Because kyra...

I would like to consult cheyenne
on this for a minute, please.

We have to tell her.
It's the right thing to do.

If we do the right thing,
elizabeth won't have her room.

If we do the wrong thing...

Well, I don't know what'll happen
if we do the wrong thing, but...

It can't be good because that's
why they call it the wrong thing.

We promised barbra jean.

But if we don't tell your mom,

She'll eventually find out
we knew and didn't tell her.

I don't wanna live in that
world, cheyenne. Mm-mmm.

The boy makes sense. See?

Even she thinks... [Shrieks]

Okay, I wanna know
what's going on right now.

Okay...

Mom.

Okay. Mom, don't overreact.

[Exhales] but kyra is, um...

She's thinking about moving
in with dad and barbra jean.

What? Yeah.

Hey, but don't worry.

You won't be bummed out
by looking in an empty room.

We're gonna put
the baby in there. Van!

What? It made us feel better.

Hmm.

I know it's a little high, but
that's where I drilled the hole.

I wasn't looking at that.

I was looking at you.

You look so... Manly.

Really?

'Cause I wasn't
tryin' to, you know.

I guess I always think of
you as a doctor, you know.

All brainy and stuff.

But here you are,

Fixin' up your home for
your woman and child.

It stirs me.

But I'm all stinky.

Stinky?

Or love musky?

How could you!

[Gasps] we're married now!

You knew that!

I'm talking about kyra
wanting to move in with you.

- What? Kyra told you?
- No. Van and cheyenne did.

V... How did they fi...
Did you tell them?

No. Oh...

That's why you bought a four-bedroom
house... So kyra could move in!

No! We needed a room for henry.

And I'm thinking of turning the
spare bedroom into a library.

That'll be one lonely book.

And that'd leave another
bedroom for kyra, by the way.

Yes. Okay?

If kyra wants to move in here
with us, I'm happy to have her.

- Happy to steal her.
- Steal her?

You don't own her,
reba. She's our daughter.

I'm a nice person! I'm allowed!

Both of you, stop yelling!

It makes my tummy hurt.

Look, reba, it doesn't
matter what we think.

- It's kyra's choice.
- I don't want her
to have a choice!

I want you to tell her
she can't move in with you!

Reba, look, you
said it yourself.

At your house, kyra always
gets the short end of the stick.

Her problems are always less
important than everyone else's.

Well, I'm sorry!

Elizabeth and jake can't
take care of themselves.

Van and cheyenne...
Well, you've met 'em.

Kyra is the only other
adult in the house.

Yeah. And maybe over here
she'll get to be a kid again.

I've forgiven you for
a lot of things, brock,

But if you take my
daughter away from me,

That's something I
could never forgive.

Reba...

[Sighs] oh, god.

mama mia, that's-a
one-a spicy redhead.

Hey, mrs. H. What are
you doing up here?

Looking for my bb g*n. Did you know I
can see barbra jean's house from here?

What are you two
doing? Oh, nothing big.

Just seeing if jake
here likes his new room.

Mom, I don't wanna move up here.

You're not going to, jake.

Good, 'cause I don't like
that thing behind van.

What?

what you got there, mrs. H?

Ah, kyra's baby stuff.

Oh, yeah? Was that
her favorite doll? No.

It was cheyenne's favorite doll.

Kyra stole it. Poor
thing never had a chance.

Oh, my gosh!

Kyra's baby shoes.

Oh, man. I remember the
day I first put these on her.

That's when
everything went wrong.

[Laughs] what do you mean?

Well, kyra was over a year old,

And she just flat-out
refused to walk.

So one day I put these
shoes on her, and zoom!

She just took off.

Ever since then,

She's never stopped
trying to get away from me.

Only this time,

I don't know if she'll
ever come back.

Come on, mrs. H.
This is not like you.

- What's not like me?
- You know,
being all soft and mushy.

I mean, usually you're all...

"Grrr! You don't
scare me! I'm reba!"

Thanks, van.

It's always flattering to
know how other people see ya.

Oh, mrs. H... [Sobbing]

It just hurts so much.

I didn't think anything
could hurt this bad.

[Sobbing continues]

Can I get you something?

A tissue? A soda?

Anything from downstairs?

Would you pray with me? Pray?

You mean, to god? Yeah.

Yeah, sure. Yeah.

Lord, we praise you and...

We thank you for our many
blessings that you've given us.

We're in your hands, lord.

Could I ask just this
one little-bitty favor?

Lord, please don't let
me lose my daughter.

[Sniffles]

[Exhales]

Amen. Amen.

[Sighs] thanks, van.

I'd better go start dinner.

Hey, god,

Give her this one.

Oh, and...

If you want to throw
in a corvette too,

That's your business.

Still waiting for kyra,
ma? Yeah. But it's okay.

I mean, it's not 10:30. She's
still got three more minutes.

I don't know what I'm gonna
do with all this time. [Laughs]

I may go up and
take a bath. Yeah.

Hey, mrs. H, if kyra doesn't make
it home on time, just let her slide.

- You don't wanna
push her over the edge.
- No, she has to punish her.

If she doesn't, kyra'll
walk all over her.

She's right. Hah!

Talk about your classic
lose-lose situations.

You both can stop
worrying. She'll be home.

Okay. Hey, do you mind if we stick
around though? Fine. Just stop talkin'.

Okay.

Man, this is like
waiting for pizza.

Van!

Uh-oh! Time's up! What?

No! You still got
one minute left!

But you should
have seen your faces!

Cheyenne, I'm too far
away. Would you mind?

Uh-huh. What?

Hey! I'm just trying
to lighten the mood.

Now it's 30 seconds.

Come on, kyra. Don't do this to
me. Don't make me have to choose.

Twenty-five.

[Sighs] she'll make it.

Fifteen. She's comin'.

She's walking up to
the door right now.

Ten. She's digging in
her purse for the keys.

Five. She's opening
up the door... Now!

I'm sorry, mom.
No! She's comin'!

Maybe her watch was just a
little bit slower than ours.

She's walking through
that door in the next minute!

But i... No, just watch!

Did you train that door
to do something? [All gasp]

Kyra! You're home!

You came through the back door.

And I got a yogurt. Yeah!

Good job, kyra. Yeah!

Looks like you dodged
a b*llet this time, mrs. H.

Yeah, I did.

This time.

Come on.

What's the big deal? I came
home on time. Whoo-hoo.

Yeah, you're right, kyra.

It shouldn't be a big deal.

But it was...

Because I know...

That you talked to your dad
about maybe moving in with him.

Oh.

Is that all you
have to say? "Oh"?

Well, I was gonna say "surprise!"
But I thought that would make you mad.

Oh!

I'm not gonna get mad.

I'm not even gonna get hurt.

I'm not even gonna try
to make you feel guilty.

Unless that would do any good.

I'm not even gonna try
to make you feel guilty!

But this doesn't work.

I can't be afraid to be your mother just
because you've got someplace else to go.

What are you saying?

I'm saying you have
to make a choice,

And you have to
live with that choice.

If you want to go live with your
father, I won't stand in your way.

But I won't let you
hop between houses.

This isn't a game.

You want me to
tell you right now?

You mean, you already know?

Don't you wanna
think about it...

For a couple of years?

No. I've made my
decision already.

Okay.

[Whispers] no, I should sit.

[Sighs]

Tell me.

acme! [Coughing]