[INTRIGUING
WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC CRESCENDOES, FADES]
[MUSIC PULSES]
[SAILORS SPEAKING GERMAN]
[CAPTAIN IN GERMAN]
MAN: [IN ENGLISH] Uh, Sweden.
[IN GERMAN]
MAN: [IN ENGLISH]
I'm... I'm... Swedish
but I speak a little English.
We're coming on board.
[SAILORS SHOUTING IN GERMAN]
[CAPTAIN ORDERING IN GERMAN]
[IN ENGLISH] All are welcome.
All are welcome.
Even the little one.
He can come too.
Welcome.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
Why are you here?
Just a little sailing holiday.
A jolly boys trip.
Take your hands off.
Papers?
Passport?
[GRUNTS] Here you go.
Any other people on the boat?
Just the two of us.
[IN GERMAN]
Nein.
[CAPTAIN SPEAKING]
[IN ENGLISH] Come, come,
we have lots to eat...
Take your dirty hands off me!
- [SAILORS SHOUTING IN GERMAN]
- [g*ns COCKING]
CAPTAIN: [IN ENGLISH] Back off!
And you,
put your hands in the air!
[LAUGHING]
Ooh! [LAUGHING]
You're in trouble now!
You've been a naughty boy!
I'll give you 100 francs
to sh**t him.
Don't sh**t me!
[BOTH CONTINUE LAUGHING]
He hates Germans.
You should really sh**t him.
I... I'm sorry.
You are very scary.
MAN: Make him walk the plank.
He loves wood.
[BOTH CONTINUE LAUGHING]
Dirty drunken animal!
Guilty as charged.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[SPEAKING GERMAN]
- [SAILORS SPEAKING GERMAN]
- [DRAWER RATTLES]
[IN ENGLISH] I always take
a can of kerosene
for just
these sort of occasions.
[INHALES]
It's been a while,
but the last time
someone laughed at me
when I boarded their vessel,
I gave them the choice.
Either swim to shore
or take their chances
on a burning ship.
[LIQUID POURING]
Hans and I wondered
which option they'd choose,
death by water or death by fire.
Oddly, they chose both.
[SPEAKING GERMAN]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES]
[IN ENGLISH] They waited
until the very last moment,
until their hair was on fire,
and their blistered skin
peeled from their fingers,
before they immersed
themselves in water
in the vain hope
of reaching shore.
One of them
sank immediately and perished.
But to our amazement,
the big one,
he showed great spirit.
In spite of all the odds...
[IN GERMAN]
...he painstakingly
made it to shore.
We followed and cheered him on
and rewarded
this impressive achievement
with a b*llet
to the back of his head.
Isn't that funny?
Why aren't you laughing?
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [SAILORS GRUNT, SCREAM]
[SAILORS CLAMORING]
- [SLASHING]
- [GASPS]
[AMUSING WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
- [MAN GRUNTS]
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [GRUNTS]
- [SAILOR 1 SHOUTS IN GERMAN]
- [g*n FIRES QUIETLY]
- [SAILOR 2 YELPS]
- [SAILOR 3 GRUNTS]
- [SAILORS SHOUTING IN GERMAN]
[SAILOR 4 SCREAMS]
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [SAILORS GRUNTING]
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [SAILOR 5 GASPS]
- [SIGHS]
- [SAILOR 6 YELPS]
[GROANING]
- [GROWLS]
- [SAILOR 7 GROANS]
[AMUSING
WESTERN MUSIC CONTINUES]
Nice work, Lassen.
There's more
where that came from.
Yes.
[LASSEN GROANS]
[LASSEN GRUNTS]
Ah...
Not sure it's working, Lassen.
The captain
looks rather agitated.
They're bringing their g*ns
to bear.
[m*ssile FIRES]
They'll find their range
soon, sir.
Freddy, should we be worried?
Oh, I don't think so, sir.
It's a rather large expl*sive,
so I set a rather large fuse.
I located the outside
of the powder room,
so when it goes bang,
it really should go bang.
[m*ssile FIRES]
[expl*si*n]
Closer...
Should be any second now, chaps.
[SAILORS CLAMORING IN DISTANCE]
Freddy?
[expl*si*n BOOMING]
Good work, Frederick.
Thank you, Captain.
Now, any chance you can tell us
what we're doing here, sir?
[MUSIC FADES]
[PROJECTOR CLICKING]
[JOLLY ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]
NEWSREADER: [ON PROJECTOR]
The w*r in Europe rages on
as h*tler and his n*zi horde
sweep aside all in their path.
Poland, Belgium and now France
have all fallen
to h*tler's fascist regime,
leaving Britain
holding up the final hopes
of liberation
for all of Europe.
So, come on, Blighty,
get ready for a fighty.
But we cannot do it alone.
And any hope
for our American brothers
to join us
from across the Atlantic
remains frustrated
by Germany's secret w*apon,
the U-boat.
These deadly little submarines
hunt at will
in the North Atlantic.
Undetectable, the U-boat
sinks ships indiscriminately,
whether carrying
munitions, provisions
or civilians heading
from our companions
across the pond.
So long as the U-boats
rule the Atlantic,
it remains impossible
for America's brave troops
to reach our shores.
Will Britain be forced
to appease h*tler's plans
or face devastation
from his offensive?
London burns
and her seas run red,
as bombs from above
and torpedoes from below
grind the Brits down.
And with no defense
against these lethal U-boats,
it appears all hope may be lost
for peace in Europe.
- [MUSIC STOPS]
- [PROJECTOR CLICKS]
The Germans cut off
our supply chain with U-boats,
we cut off the supply chain
to the U-boats.
Through our intelligence agents,
we've found a way.
[INTRIGUING WESTERN
MUSIC PLAYING]
The entire
servicing, repairing,
and rearming
of h*tler's
Atlantic U-boat fleet...
is operated
by two n*zi tug boats...
and an Italian supply ship
in Fernando Po.
I need men who are willing
to go and sink those ships.
Why don't we just
air-raid Fernando Po
and sink the ships?
[EXHALES]
Because crafty Germans,
being crafty Germans,
have positioned themselves
in a Spanish colony.
Fernando Po
is neutral territory.
If we att*ck that colony,
the rest of unoccupied Europe
will join the Nazis,
and it's only
a question of time
before we find ourselves
frying big pink sausages
wearing nothing but lederhosen.
h*tler is not
playing by the rules
and neither are we.
This will of course be
an unsanctioned,
unauthorized
and unofficial mission.
If they're captured
by the British,
they'll be thrown in jail.
But if the Nazis find them...
it's t*rture and death.
MAN: Somewhat contentiously,
I may have just the man,
but rather inconveniently,
he's currently incarcerated
at His Majesty's pleasure.
We may not like his attitude,
but he's bold, he's a k*ller,
and the men
will follow him anywhere.
Are we sure this is a good idea?
Of course we're not.
But we're desperate.
- Send him in.
- [DOOR OPENS]
SERGEANT: Forward!
- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
- [CHAINS CLINKING]
SERGEANT: Stand there, Major.
[INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES]
MAN: Thank you, Sergeant.
Gus March-Phillips,
this is Lieutenant Commander...
Fleming. Ian Fleming.
He used to be
at Naval Intelligence,
now he works for me.
Why am I here, M?
I have a mission
I want you to lead.
Why are you asking me, M?
Help yourself
to a cup of tea, Major.
[GUS CLEARS THROAT]
We both know that I'm...
not very popular
with the administration.
M: The reason
they find you unattractive
is the very reason
I find you attractive.
Mission?
M: Operation Postmaster.
To neutralize the German U-boats
in the North Atlantic.
[RATTLING]
- And, uh, what's the plan?
- [SIGHS]
FLEMING: The U-boats need
- fuel and torpedoes.
- Oh.
But they also need
carbon dioxide filters
for oxygen.
Without them, they can't dive
and they can't hunt.
Stuck on the surface,
they're obsolete.
Target?
The Duchessa d'Aosta.
She's an Italian ship
the Germans have been using...
[CONTINUES DRAGGING CHAIR]
[FLEMING CLEARS THROAT]
...to refuel,
re-arm and replenish
the CO2 filters
for the entire fleet.
She's hidden
off the coast of West Africa.
A small island
called Fernando Po.
We want you to, um, sink her.
M: You'll be posing as fishermen
sailing down the west coast
on board a trawler
loaded with enough expl*sives
to destroy the Duchessa.
This is Agents
Heron and Stewart.
They'll be working
undercover on the island.
Mr. Heron's
already established there,
running various businesses.
What businesses?
A casino bar,
and illegal exports game.
Profitable?
- I do quite well.
- [LIGHTER CLICKS]
High-ranking Nazis
are my most valued clients.
Good for you.
[LIGHTER CLICKS]
M: Miss Stewart,
an actress and singer,
has been training with us
for the last two years.
She'll be posing
as a gold trader from New York.
Her mission is
to seduce and distract
the island's Commanding
Officer Heinrich Luhr.
She's very capable
and somewhat motivated.
Motivated how, sir?
My mother's side
were German Jews.
They were the first to go.
Very sorry to hear that.
I'm sure you'll recover.
M: We have 44 days
before the Nazis
move their operation.
We won't find them again.
If I'm to do this,
I'll need my own team.
You won't like them.
They're all, uh...
mad.
They'll need to be.
Give us their names.
Henry Hayes.
A smart, young Irishman
who hates the Nazis
because his older brother,
who was a close friend of mine,
drowned after a U-boat
sank his fishing trawler.
I've taken him under my wing
ever since.
He's cunning, quiet and wily.
More to the point,
Hayes is a magnificent sailor
and I trust him.
If we're going
to try and sink a large ship,
we'll need
Freddy "The Buzz" frogman.
He can swim across the channel
with his feet tied together.
Admittedly,
he's a convicted arsonist
and a terrible misery
unless he's destroying something.
But he's very good
at blowing things up.
Next, we'll need
the Danish hammer.
Anders Lassen.
Grew up wrestling bears
and hunting elk
on his family estate.
He's a legend
with a Bowie Kn*fe
and a bow and arrow.
He ran away at 18
to fight the Nazis
after the Gestapo tortured
his brother to death.
He gave up filleting game
for gutting Nazis.
He then turned up on our shores
ready to fight alongside us.
He is an uncontrollable mad dog
who knows
a hundred creative ways
to k*ll a man.
And finally,
and most importantly,
we'll need Geoffrey Appleyard.
Yes, we thought you might.
That's why we sent him
on a reconnaissance mission
to Fernando Po.
Unfortunately,
the Nazis nabbed him
on his return.
All the more reason.
He knows what we need to know.
He's a master planner,
a master survivor,
a chess grand master
and a surgeon with the blade.
We spent two weeks together
in a Dunkirk foxhole
and if it wasn't for Apple,
I would still be there today.
No Apple, no mission.
I'm afraid that's impossible.
Why?
M: Because he's being held
by an entire German garrison
on La Palma.
[HUFFS, LAUGHS]
La Palma's on the way.
[MARJORIE SCOFFS]
- That's insanity.
- You let me worry about that.
I must get me
one of those coats.
[AMUSING WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHING]
Now, any chance you can tell us
what we're doing here, sir?
Dry yourself off, frogman,
and I'll tell you.
The curiosity is
eating us all up, sir.
GUS: I apologize
for all the secrecy, chaps.
But this is
an unsanctioned, unofficial
and unauthorized mission.
If we're picked up by the Brits,
we will all go to jail.
If we're picked up
by the Germans,
t*rture and death.
So, it's just
the four of us then?
And Captain Appleyard.
He's responsible
for securing this information.
He is, however,
in a spot of bother.
He is being held
by the Germans on La Palma.
Our first job
is to liberate him.
- Oh, so, that's all, is it?
- GUS: No.
We need to confirm
Appleyard's intelligence.
That's why
there are two more agents
on their way to Fernando Po
by train, as we speak.
Doing what, exactly?
They'll be ensuring
that those ships
are filled with supplies,
so they're worth blowing up
in the first place.
[TRAIN HORN BLARING]
MARJORIE: It's one thing
taking over the world,
but do they have to
take over the kitchen too?
It's all sausage,
cabbage and black bread.
HERON: Who would
you have preferred?
MARJORIE: The French offer
the refined classical take.
Cote de boeuf,
fromage, le beurre...
- ca suffit!
- [MEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
What about the rustic
spontaneity of the Italians?
Their oils, the linguine,
the tomatoes.
I'd climb over the linguine
to get to the fettucine.
But the cinghiale.
MARJORIE: Mmm.
You have me with the wild boar.
But then again,
the Spanish offer
the smorgasbord
of the regional paella
and tapas.
And Jamon Iberico Andalucia.
So?
We're between
a rock and a hard place.
If the Brits win the w*r,
we're stuck with fish and chips.
If the Germans win the w*r,
we're stuck with this menu.
So?
We'll have the sausage,
the cabbage
- and the black bread please.
- [SIGHS]
Tres bien. Merci.
[SOLDIERS LAUGHING,
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[EXHALES]
Our situation?
Steady.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
[EXCITING MUSIC PLAYING]
Steady.
[EXHALES]
Now.
[SOLDIERS SPEAKING GERMAN
INDISTINCTLY, LAUGHING]
[IN GERMAN]
MARJORIE: Mmm.
[IN ENGLISH] I'm exhausted.
[IN GERMAN]
- [LAUGHING STOPS]
- [MUSIC FADES]
- [CHUCKLES]
- [SOLDIERS SHUSHING]
[GULPS]
Entschuldigung, bitte.
[EXCITING MUSIC PLAYING]
[SOLDIERS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
OFFICER: [IN ENGLISH] Halt!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHATTER STOPS]
[IN GERMAN]
[IN ENGLISH] Is there a problem?
[IN GERMAN]
[IN ENGLISH] I can manage
myself, thank you.
[IN GERMAN]
[IN ENGLISH]
Allow me, Miss Stewart.
[MUSIC FADES]
[IN GERMAN]
[IN ENGLISH] Allow me.
Thank you.
[EXCITING MUSIC PLAYING]
SOLDIER: Prost!
[SOLDIERS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[EXCITING MUSIC CONTINUES]
HERON: Door.
Locked.
HERON: Case?
Working on it.
[UNLOCKS CASE]
[SOLDIERS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[DIAL CLICKING]
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
[SIGNAL BEEPING]
OPERATOR: Sir, contact.
- [SIGNAL BEEPING]
- Contact.
Standing by.
MARJORIE:
Duchessa's manifest. Ready?
- Ready.
- 400 B-grade torpedoes. Check.
[EXCITING MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGNAL BEEPING]
OPERATOR: 400 B-grade torpedoes.
M: Check.
Check.
MARJORIE:
[CLICKING]
[SIGNAL BEEPING]
OPERATOR: 5,000 tons of diesel.
- Lieutenant.
- OPERATOR: Yes, sir?
M: Check.
- [SIGNAL BEEPING]
- HERON: Check.
Check.
[SOLDIERS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
End of message from Stork, sir.
Confirm receipt.
[SIGNAL BEEPING]
HERON: Receipt confirmed.
Urgent, Chequers.
Get the car ready.
Inform Fleming.
Let's pack it up.
No point robbing the bank
if there's no gold in the vault.
[EXCITING MUSIC CONTINUES]
[SOLDIERS CONVERSING, LAUGHING]
Thank you.
It's truly comforting to know
there's at least one gentleman
in the world.
SOLDIER: Ah! [SPEAKING GERMAN]
Idiot!
[HERON, IN GERMAN]
[IN ENGLISH] Good day.
[MUSIC FADES]
Sausage, cabbage
and black bread.
[SIGHS]
MAN: h*tler
has made us an offer.
An appeasement.
But we must step down our army,
surrender our Navy
and accept n*zi rule.
Otherwise, he promises
total destruction of Britain
and her empire.
Our best option
is to take h*tler's deal
while we can.
The Air Marshal agrees.
He has more bombs,
more men, more machines.
We won't survive much longer.
You have to make
the only decision you can make
in good conscience,
Prime Minister.
CHURCHILL: Good God, girls.
Listen to yourselves.
It's not appeasement,
it's surrender.
You still fail to realize
who we're up against.
With respect, Prime Minister,
it's you who doesn't realize.
We cannot hope to defeat him.
h*tler is
the mainspring of evil,
a guttersnipe.
This is not a man
that we can negotiate with.
I've read his book,
Admiral Pound.
The man is a vicious,
victimized ideologue.
He cannot be trusted.
If I thought that
we could've achieved peace
through surrendering,
I'd have done it already.
We need to stop our country
from starving.
We need
three million tons of supplies
to cross the Atlantic
every month.
We are currently losing
Another reason to take the deal.
I've not finished,
Algernon, darling.
We need the Americans,
and they will
never enter the w*r
if we already appear
to be a losing side.
Ending hostilities with Germany
is the best path
out of this mess.
We are all in agreement,
Prime Minister.
Thank you, gentlemen.
[STERNLY] Yes,
thank you, gentlemen!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[DOOR OPENS]
CHURCHILL: M, Fleming,
this better be good news.
M: Prime Minister,
we have the manifest here, sir.
It's been confirmed
the Duchessa
is fully laden with supplies
to keep the U-boats
operational indefinitely.
If we're going to sink her,
now is the time.
They're on their way.
And their chances?
Well, if anyone can, they can.
But if we're discovered,
parliament will remove you
from office.
Well,
we'd better make sure
we're not discovered then.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC FADES]
We'll take it
from the cliffside.
It's an 85-foot sheer climb.
No one should notice
a small, innocuous
fishing vessel.
We'll set up in the woods
and see what we're up against,
then we'll go for a night raid.
Slip in quietly,
find Apple, come out fast.
Numbers?
Intelligence suggests
a garrison of 50 to 60.
That should be about 15 each.
Lassen, try not to be greedy.
You do have a reputation.
My k*lling days are over.
I'm just here
as a peacekeeping observer.
[MEN CHUCKLE]
Freddy, bag the kit,
silence the weapons.
[EXCITING MUSIC PLAYING]
[SEAGULL SQUAWKING]
[g*n COCKS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[SOLDIERS SHOUTING IN GERMAN]
FREDDY: When do we go?
GUS: 0200.
Take the towers first,
then move onto the radio room,
barracks and end up
in the control room...
- [DOG BARKS IN THE DISTANCE]
- What do we have here?
Gestapo.
How'd you know?
GUS: The badder they are,
the better they're dressed.
I really must get me
one of those coats.
They must be here for Apple.
It's either t*rture
or, uh, extraction, sir.
GUS: If they extract him,
it'll be the end of Apple.
We won't be seeing him again.
I'm afraid, gentlemen,
we're not going
to have the luxury of night.
We're going
to have to go in now.
[SOLDIERS SPEAKING GERMAN]
[BOTH SHOUTING IN GERMAN]
- [ARROWS WHIZZING]
- [SOLDIERS GRUNT]
[SPLUTTERS]
[MUSIC FADES]
[IN ENGLISH] So,
what's happened there then?
It looks like
they've been plugged
full of arrows, Haysey.
Well, where did the arrows go?
FREDDY: Straight through them.
[LASSEN GRUNTING]
There were
two more round the other side.
Where are they now?
Same place as these two.
n*zi heaven.
Well, we've got
less than seven minutes
before they're missed.
Alarms, dogs. None of it good.
[g*ns f*ring]
Go undercover of the engine.
Only break cover
when things go bang.
[SIGHS]
I have a great idea, Lassen.
Why don't you march off
by yourself
and fill those Germans
full of arrows?
[TENSE WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
[GRUNTS]
GUS: Freddy, grab the scissors
and help him with that fence.
Aye, sir.
[THRILLING MUSIC PLAYING]
[GRUNTS]
[SOLDIER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[VEHICLE ENGINE WHIRRING]
Haysey, you're with me.
We go left.
Freddy, Lassen, you go right.
Fill your boots, gentlemen,
and bon appetit.
[SNIPPING]
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
- See you at the tower.
- [g*ns COCK]
GUS: And remember, gentlemen,
try to have fun.
- [g*ns f*ring QUIETLY]
- [SOLDIERS CLAMORING]
[ENGINE WHIRRING]
[OFFICER SPEAKING GERMAN]
[MAN SPEAKING ON RADIO]
[g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
[ENGINE WHIRRING]
[g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [GROANS]
- [IN ENGLISH] So far, so good.
- [ENGINE WHIRRING]
- Doing rather well, Haysey.
Oh, why thank you, sir.
[SOLDIER SPEAKING GERMAN]
[OFFICER SPEAKING GERMAN]
[OFFICER 2 SPEAKING GERMAN]
[SOLDIERS LAUGHING]
[GUS LAUGHING UPROARIOUSLY]
[STOPS LAUGHING]
[IN ENGLISH] It's very good.
- [g*ns f*ring QUIETLY]
- [SOLDIERS SCREAMING]
[g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
[OFFICER 1 SPEAKING GERMAN]
[OFFICER 2 SPEAKING GERMAN]
[OFFICER 1 SPEAKING GERMAN]
[SPEAKING GERMAN]
- [OFFICER 3 SPEAKING GERMAN]
- [MUSIC CRESCENDOES, FADES]
- [expl*si*n]
- [SOLDIERS SCREAMING]
[ALL CLAMORING]
[IN ENGLISH] Sounds like
stealth mode's over.
Haysey, down!
[SOLDIERS SCREAMING]
[b*ll*ts CLANGING]
[MACHINE g*n STOPS]
[ALARM BLARING]
[SOLDIERS CLAMORING OUTSIDE]
[UPBEAT
ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [GROANS]
[COUGHING]
- [HACKS]
- [g*n FIRES QUIETLY]
[SOLDIERS COUGHING]
[SOLDIERS SHOUT, GROAN]
[SOLDIER GROANS]
[g*n FIRES QUIETLY]
- [SOLDIER GROANING]
- [g*n FIRES QUIETLY]
[SHOUTING IN GERMAN]
- [g*n FIRES QUIETLY]
- [GROANS]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[SOLDIERS CLAMORING]
[GROANS]
- Nein! Nein! [GROANS]
- [GRUNTS]
[WHIMPERS]
[BOTH GRUNT]
[CLAMORING, SCREAMING]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
- [STABBING]
- [OFFICER GROANS]
- [LASSEN GRUNTS]
- [SOLDIER YELLS]
[YELLING]
[LASSEN AND SOLDIER GRUNT]
- [SOLDIER SHOUTING IN GERMAN]
- [g*n FIRES QUIETLY]
[MUSIC FADES]
[LASSEN PANTING]
[IN ENGLISH]
Do we know each other?
- No.
- [SOLDIER CHOKING]
[SPLUTTERING]
[Kn*fe CLINKS]
- [STABS]
- [SOLDIER SCREAMS]
[CLEARS THROAT]
[LASSEN GRUNTS]
Is that a heart, Lassen?
For the avoidance of doubt.
Apple, old boy.
- Gus.
- GUS: I see you two have met.
This is Haysey.
- GEOFFREY: Pleasure, Haysey.
- Pleasure's mine.
I thought you might need these.
Jolly thoughtful of you.
FREDDY: You all find him?
Oh, goody.
Bloody hell,
what happened to your nipples?
You all right?
Couldn't unplug me, could you?
Battery's still on.
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
[INTRIGUING
WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
[GUS LAUGHING]
[DRAMATIC GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING]
[MOTOR WHIRRING]
[CROWD SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[GREETING IN ITALIAN]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[SOLDIERS GRUNT]
[FOGHORN BLARES]
[IN ENGLISH]
Did you see the Duchessa,
the tug boats?
And rather
a lot of n*zi soldiers.
Why wasn't that in your report?
Because those soldiers
and those g*ns,
and those S-Boats are all new.
That's a lot more
than the boys are expecting.
A month ago,
it was a dozen mechanics.
Six drunk sailors.
Two fat Spaniards.
And a n*zi in a pear tree.
I'd say,
we're gonna need more help.
You leave that to me.
- Of course.
- [MAN GROANS]
[MAN YELLING IN GERMAN]
- [GRUNTS]
- HERON: But right now...
- [MAN GROANS]
- ...you need to meet that man.
[LAUGHING]
[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]
HERON: Your man.
The reason you're here.
MAN: Ah.
The only thing
worse than a n*zi...
is him.
[INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES]
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
[MUSIC FADES]
[DOOR OPENS]
[SOLDIER, IN GERMAN]
[SOLDIER SPEAKING GERMAN]
[IN ENGLISH]
I'm very disappointed, Heron.
There are 16 crates
in my warehouse
you have not yet
shipped to the mainland.
No need to fret, Herr Luhr.
They'll still be delivered
by the agreed date.
That may be.
But they take up valuable space.
For this, I expect
a significant reduction
in your fee.
- HERON: I can do 5%...
- [SCOFFS]
...as a gesture of goodwill.
Twenty. And don't waste
my precious time haggling.
MARJORIE: Well,
strictly speaking,
there should be no reductions,
since there's not yet been
any breach of contract.
Five is more than polite,
it jars.
It jars?
Am I being
accused of disharmony?
I take that
as a personal affront.
And I am supposing
you are not the secretary.
Miss Stewart is the contact
I said I'd arrange.
Ah, your New York gold contact?
I told you,
I already have
a satisfying arrangement.
Have a seat.
Thank you.
[HEINRICH SPEAKING GERMAN]
[IN ENGLISH] Well,
I hope I don't disappoint.
[LAUGHS]
I can't make a decision
on this presentation.
Early days.
Well, if early days
do come too soon,
and seasons change
with a Hunter's Moon.
[IN GERMAN]
Hmm.
Hmm.
[IN ENGLISH]
I have to say, Heron,
for all your flaws,
you do have a habit
of pulling rabbits from hats.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
So, how much gold
do you wish to move,
- Miss Stewart?
- [LIGHTER CLICKS]
As much as you can find.
As I mentioned before,
I do already have
a very profitable arrangement.
And despite of your commentary,
I pride myself
on maintaining harmony.
Now, why should I entertain you?
Because you'll make more money
and have lots of fun
whilst doing so.
If I'm not good for my word,
don't pay me.
[IN GERMAN]
[LAUGHS]
[IN ENGLISH] Bravo.
I will talk to my people
and then we'll rendezvous.
Lovely.
When the sly red cat
barks at dawn,
and kills just for her pleasure,
who shares the meal
the cat did steal
when both looked on in pleasure?
Auf wiedersehen.
[IN GERMAN]
[CHUCKLES]
[CLASSICAL MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING]
[CLASSICAL MUSIC FADES]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[FLICKING LIGHTER]
The riddle was a nice touch.
[SIGHS]
The hook's in.
[CONTINUES FLICKING LIGHTER]
Now be careful
how you reel him in.
[INHALES]
I'll make sure
the harbor's empty
when the boys arrive.
How are you going to do that?
I'll throw a party at my club.
A costume party for the officers
and a second party at the dock
for the soldiers.
People like my parties.
Everyone but Luhr.
That will be your job.
All the rats
will follow the piper.
GEOFFREY: So,
if I understand correctly,
we're currently
here in La Palma.
We'll sail around
German-controlled Africa
to Fernando Po,
which is just
north of the Equator,
just off the West African coast.
So that's the shortest route?
Yes, but we don't
want to go shorter.
Our priority is not to be seen.
You mean, be seen again.
Again? Getting a little sloppy
on us now, Gussy?
Had a run-in already?
Never mind us, Apple, old boy.
Remind me again
how you found your nipples
attached to a car battery.
[CHUCKLING]
Yes. Wasn't my fault.
Bad intelligence.
Plus it was almost worth it
to watch
the heart-snatcher at work.
I'm better known as a lover
than a fighter.
Jesus Christ!
If that's how you fight,
I'd hate to see you love.
You don't have
to worry about that,
you're too pretty for me.
Freddy, on the other hand...
You'd have to catch me first.
I do love to hunt.
You'd be lucky.
I'm really getting quite hot.
Anyway, my suggestion is
that we take this wider route.
It's obviously longer
but it should avoid
any awkward conversations
with German U-boats
or British warships.
Weather-dependent,
we should make it there
in 15 days.
Agreed.
Haysey, do you think
you could manage that?
Leave it to me, sir.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[PEOPLE LAUGHING,
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
- [MAN SHOUTS]
- [MUSIC FADES]
Just do as you're told
- and get me another drink!
- [GLASSES CLINK]
MAN: Captain, sir.
Can I get you something to eat?
May I... Come this way.
- [OBJECTS CLATTERING]
- Take your hands off me.
[CAPTAIN EXHALES]
You know,
I like you, Femi.
But you touch me again
and you're going to jail.
Femi.
[CHATTER CONTINUES]
I'll deal with him.
Please take care
of Miss Stewart.
You know what you need,
Captain Binea?
I know what I need.
But do you, Ricardo?
You need another drink.
Marty,
good stuff.
Ricardo, that's why I love you.
- You understand.
- [GLASS CLINKS]
HERON: This is Fernando Po.
Everybody's welcome.
Si... Everybody.
Too many body I think.
[MAN LAUGHING]
Armando?
Have you fallen out
with our new friends?
[SIGHS] It's not fair, Ricardo.
This is my harbor.
I am in charge.
Are they stepping on your toes?
They don't step, they stamp!
They tell Captain Binea nothing.
[CHATTER STOPS]
Only now do I hear
the Duchessa
is leaving the harbor early.
[CHATTER RESUMES]
Well, good riddance.
The harbor will be yours again.
When will you be free
of that ugly vessel?
Three days earlier.
Then we should
have another drink.
To celebrate. Marty...
Another round
for our Harbor Master.
So, Captain, do you know
where they wish to relocate?
It's neither cat nor dog
that kills for fun,
it's the vixen, not another.
There's only two
that k*ll for fun,
my pretty friend,
the fox and his human brother.
- [LAUGHING]
- [MARJORIE CHUCKLES]
I believe I have
resolved your little riddle.
Chapeau. You play well.
[TAPPING]
Speaking of foxes,
Horowitz and Meyer,
West 47th Street.
Have you heard of them?
I don't believe I have, no.
[LIGHTER CLINKS]
[CHATTER FADES]
[LIGHTER CLINKS SOFTLY]
They're the largest gold traders
in Midtown New York
and you haven't heard of them?
I'm afraid I haven't, no.
I am familiar, of course,
with Horowitz and Haim.
But they're in the west side
of the city.
But then again,
I'm sure you already
knew that, didn't you?
I'm curious,
how do you find
dealing with the Jew?
Oh, dear. [CHUCKLES]
I've slipped from one snare
only to find myself in another.
How shall I put this?
I fear your brilliant leader
has mischaracterized
the ancient tribe of Jahuda.
Their ability to not only
survive 3,000 years
with a boot on their neck,
but to prosper in spite of it...
I suspect it inspired
satanic jealousy within him.
In conclusion,
it looks as though
the lady doth protest too much.
Is there a cherry to go
on this blasphemous cake,
or have you finished?
[LAUGHS]
[TAPPING]
I must confess,
not only do I respect
and admire the Jew...
I am one.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHING]
- [LAUGHING]
- [TENSE MUSIC FADES]
[LAUGHING]
MARJORIE: Kidding!
They're greedy rats.
I think this could be
the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.
Then I shall throw a party
to celebrate.
I don't care for parties.
Oh, spoilsport!
Everybody loves a party.
[TENSE WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
The Duchessa's leaving
three days earlier
than we thought.
If we don't tell
the Maid Honor,
they'll arrive too late.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
OPERATOR: Incoming.
[SIGNAL BEEPING]
Contact.
MARJORIE: More Jerries
on the island than expected.
Tin of corned beef's
out of pantry
three days early.
[SIGNAL BEEPING]
I'll take that.
OPERATOR: It's confidential,
sir. For M only.
When it comes
to make the extraction,
it needs to be a very...
Sir. Message, sir.
[SIGNAL BEEPING]
GUS: More Jerries
on the island than expected.
Corned beef's out of the pantry
three days early.
Move faster.
M: Yes, but there's increased
U-boat sightings in the area.
Sir.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
OFFICER: The mission's
still proceeding.
FREDDY: So, there's more
soldiers on the island
and the boat's leaving earlier?
Yes.
Well, how are
we meant to move faster?
We can't move faster.
We're going as fast as we can.
This is a fishing boat,
it's not a speedboat.
M: Prime Minister,
the Duchessa's leaving
Fernando Po in 12 days.
On our current schedule,
they'll arrive
three days too late.
Can it still be done?
M: We're still
awaiting a response
from Major Phillips.
If we can't move faster,
we'll go shorter.
We can get to Fernando Po
in 12 days.
Hold on, you said
we couldn't go shorter.
No, I said
we don't want to go shorter.
He said we'll get
mowed down by a U-boat.
Or worse,
picked up by the Brits.
Their armada of destroyers
are crossing there.
FREDDY: We will literally
be sailing over U-boats.
Sorry, lads, we go shorter.
[THRILLING
WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
[AIRPLANES ENGINES RUMBLING]
Drei, zwei, eins...
[CONTINUES SPEAKING GERMAN]
[FAINT EXPLOSIONS]
[MUSIC CRESCENDOES, FADES]
[MUTED EXPLOSIONS]
[TENSE WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
CHURCHILL: Gentlemen,
as I speak to you now,
London once again
shudders beneath a n*zi
onslaught from the skies.
And at such times,
the hearts of men
are stirred to duty.
[OVER RADIO]
But you are not such men.
You were not chosen
for your conspicuous honor
or high ideals.
You were chosen
because you are
the last resort.
The mission
you have been given
is of a sort
never before undertaken.
It demands ruthless men,
who will not hesitate
to stoop beneath
the conventions of w*r.
Men who do not keep clean hands.
Men like you.
- [FAINT EXPLOSIONS]
- And yet, who still conspire
in their own
discordant harmony.
Who know and yet do not care
that they may never return.
And who press onward
not for glory,
or for duty, or for me,
but because you are men
who will not stop
until it is done.
Godspeed, gentlemen.
[TENSE WESTERN MUSIC CONTINUES]
Uh... Chaps...
That's a British destroyer.
We should move.
We can't outrun that, sir.
Well, we've seen them,
they've seen us.
COMMANDER:
Hold fast, Maid Honor.
We're preparing
a boarding party.
LASSEN: Hello, Captain!
Nothing exciting here.
We're just Swedish fishermen.
COMMANDER:
Step forward, Jorgensen!
Jorgensen, you're Swedish.
Ask them where
they're heading, would you?
[SPEAKING SWEDISH]
[IN SWEDISH]
[IN ENGLISH] Not you, Lassen.
Uh...
I want to hear March-Phillips
have a go.
Ah.
Fair enough.
Game's up, Commander. [CHUCKLES]
Can't blame a girl for trying.
Good effort, Major.
But I'm afraid you are going
to have to come with us.
May I ask under whose authority
we've been waylaid?
On the orders of Admiral Pound.
[RADAR PINGS]
OPERATOR: First Lieutenant.
You are pursuing
an unsanctioned
criminal enterprise
in international waters.
You're going to cause an upset.
I think we're a little
past upset, Commander.
Stevens, what have you got?
STEVENS: I had a ping, sir.
The greedy little n*zi
won't be satisfied
with holding most of Europe,
he's after our own
green and pleasant land.
Well, thank God you're here
with your little
wooden battleship
and your five-man army.
- [PINGS]
- U-boat, bearing 273.
- Sound the alarm.
- [ALARM BLARING]
Come aboard.
OFFICER: U-boat approaching.
Starboard side, sir.
Battle stations!
Major, if you know
what's good for you,
- you'll head home.
- Very good, Commander.
Haysey, get us away
from that torpedo magnet
as quickly as possible.
Aye, sir. Apple, man the stern.
Freddy, on the main sail.
Lassen to the bow, now.
Untie that station!
LASSEN: Aye.
HENRY: Quickly now, lads!
Hoist that foresail for us,
will you, boys?
FREDDY: Main sail ready to haul!
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
HENRY: All right, Freddy,
now raise that main sail!
FREDDY: Aye.
- [ALARM CONTINUES]
- OFFICER: Report sounding.
- STEVENS: Bearing 163.
- [PINGS]
[SAILORS SHOUTING IN GERMAN]
HENRY: [IN ENGLISH]
Lassen, trim the main sail
and then tie it off!
LASSEN: How do you expect good?
STEVENS: Report sounding.
Bearing 115.
- OFFICER: Fire depth charges.
- [PINGS]
[LEVER CLICKS]
[expl*si*n BOOMING]
[SAILORS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[MUTED EXPLOSIONS]
[ALARM BLARING]
[MUSIC FADES]
[DISTANT EXPLOSIONS]
[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]
MARJORIE: So, this is your man
that gets things done?
His name is Kamp Billy...
with a K.
And he went
to an English boarding school?
Not just any boarding school.
He went to Eton,
the boarding school.
Right...
[DISTANT g*nsh*t]
Then what's he doing here?
He's a prince.
A prince of what, exactly?
- The Prince of Fernando Po!
- [g*nsh*t]
So, he's part pirate,
part aristocrat?
Chic.
He's also
a part of our solution.
RH.
[MUSIC FADES]
KB.
He's back in town.
MAN: Chief.
[MAN SPEAKING YORUBA]
[g*nsh*t]
[IN ENGLISH] Seems like
you always come bearing gifts.
Is she for me?
- Good luck with that.
- [CHUCKLES]
I'm not for you,
but these are.
Mmm. Goodies. Yummy.
- [MEN GRUNT]
- [MAN SPEAKING YORUBA]
- [IN ENGLISH] Ade...
- Chief.
ADEDAYO: Come on, come on.
[MEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Someone has taste.
Rarer than hens' teeth.
Well, RH tells me that KB
is the only man to talk to
when it comes
to getting things done.
Why do I feel like
I've gone from being
- the predator to the prey?
- [COCKS g*n]
[g*nsh*t]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Quite an entrance, young lady.
It's on the condition
that we sample them...
now.
Ade, set the table.
ADEDAYO: Chief.
[LAUGHING]
And then the Duke said,
"Push it in till it stops!"
[ALL LAUGHING]
You are quite the w*apon.
I was right,
I was the prey.
I'll help you
because I don't like Nazis.
Not because they're Nazis
but because they're gauche.
I'll give you a tug
and 12 of my best men,
including yours truly.
But if I'm gonna help you,
who's gonna help me?
Because you're
not a soldier, RH.
No, but she is.
She'll outshoot your best man.
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
[g*nsh*t]
[COCKS g*n]
[g*nsh*t]
[COCKS g*n]
[g*nshots]
[BLOWS]
I told you.
- No!
- No!
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
MARJORIE: Stork delivery. Check.
Check.
Twenty-three boys. Check.
- [SIGNAL BEEPING]
- Stork delivery.
Twenty-three boys.
Seventeen girls.
Meeting point 20 kilometers
outside Fernando Po.
The rendezvous with Heron.
Can you get us there?
If the weather holds,
I can, sir.
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC CONTINUES]
Twenty quid says
this doesn't end well.
For who?
For them.
You can't bet on yourself,
Haysey. That's match-fixing.
Let's do it.
Heron, it's been too long.
Good to see you, Gus.
Apple.
This is Kamp Billy,
the Prince of Fernando Po.
Your Highness.
He's agreed to help us.
Forgive me, but...
I have a peculiar feeling
that we've met before.
I get that a lot.
I'm extremely well-traveled.
[CHUCKLES] No, no.
It's a particular sense.
I don't suppose
you played cricket, did you?
[CHUCKLES]
Captained Eton. '21 to '22.
I knew I knew your face!
Right next
to the trophy cabinet.
An eight-foot-tall
huge portrait.
Yes, exactly that!
One eye on the boundary...
BOTH:...one eye on the pub.
Bloody glad to have you aboard.
KAMP BILLY: Bloody good
to be here, old boy.
I'm very bored
with these Nazis making
a nuisance of themselves.
I mean,
it's terrible for business.
I'm only too pleased
to help you
serve them a bloody nose.
That's a commendable attitude.
So, what's your plan?
Apple.
We're going
to sink the Duchessa,
plus the two tugs.
Crippling h*tler's
Atlantic fleet of U-boats.
Very good.
The thing is,
our old friends the Nazis
aren't making it the easiest.
We're outnumbered
two hundred to five.
There's a few more soldiers
than we anticipated.
I think that we're gonna have
to find ourselves
a few more strapping lads.
Ade...
[SPEAKING YORUBA]
[INTRIGUING
WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
[IN ENGLISH] Right...
[CHOMPING]
Yes, I think that will do.
We brought some weapons
if you need.
You hold onto those.
We brought our own.
[SPEAKING YORUBA]
[IN ENGLISH] Oyah!
Show them the iron!
[ADEDAYO SPEAKING YORUBA]
[IN ENGLISH] Marvelous.
KAMP BILLY: You do know
the Duchessa is
more than 200 feet
from the harbor side?
And she's in full glare
of the lights.
She's not gonna be easy to sink
without attracting
unwanted attention.
Yes. That's why Heron
will plant a b*mb
to blow the lights,
before we paddle in
and rig the hull
with expl*sives.
By the time
the expl*sives detonate,
we'll be heading home.
If I had it my way,
a sh*t'll never be fired.
And how often
do you have it your way?
Depends on who you ask, old boy.
[KAMP BILLY CHUCKLES]
GUS: Gentlemen...
- Ade.
- Chief.
- Prepare the men.
- [ADEDAYO SPEAKING YORUBA]
I'll take that 20
whenever you're ready, Freddy.
[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT
OVER SPEAKERS]
MARJORIE: The Duchessa
will be gone by the morning.
- Can you manage that?
- [b*mb CLICKING]
It's two wires and a tick-tock.
I'm sure I can cope.
It's not me you should be
worried about.
I've never
taken a n*zi to a party.
Just don't end up
at one of his parties.
Don't worry about me.
I'm gonna have
my own little party.
[MEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[MUSIC FADES]
GUS: Drink for the boys,
on His Majesty's government.
Ordinarily,
I'd bite your hand off,
as I have been known
to love a pound note.
[SPEAKING YORUBA]
[IN ENGLISH]
But on this occasion,
the drinks are on me.
However,
if His Majesty's government
was handing out titles...
You're already a prince,
old boy.
There's Prince
of Fernando Po, but...
a Knight of the Realm
has a certain antiquity to it.
Arise, Sir Kamp Billy.
You're a good man, Gus.
Good luck, Billy.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[MACHINERY WHIRRING]
Hola!
Buenas tardes, companeros!
[CLICKS]
[SOLDIER, IN GERMAN]
[MUSIC TURNS DRAMATIC]
[IN GERMAN]
[g*nshots]
[g*n CLICKS]
[SCREAMING]
- [BODY SLIDES, THUDS]
- [MUSIC FADES]
[b*mb TICKING]
[GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
My Herr, you have a visitor.
Ta-da!
[IN SING-SONG VOICE]
Cleopatra needs her Caesar.
Put it on.
[SNORTS]
Thank you, Timothy.
One second.
Timothy...
I have a counter offer.
Let's put
this dressing up aside.
It's for children.
And we are not children.
Let's make our own party.
A dark party.
A dark n*zi party.
With music, lubrication
and a handsome n*zi.
Since I've been here,
I've been bitten by things
that croak and slither,
scorpions nest in my boots
and I can't sleep
for the relentless howl
of jungle entropy.
Tonight,
I'm going to that party,
and you are taking me.
Now, put it on.
[CLICKS TONGUE] Oh.
Very well.
[EXCITING MUSIC PLAYING]
[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[LAUGHTER]
WOMAN: Ah! Hola!
We move when the lights go out.
- [WOMAN WHOOPING]
- [BAND PLAYING SWING MUSIC]
[MAN LAUGHING]
All right, Ricardo,
today you're El Capitan.
Armando, the bar is yours.
Use it. Abuse it at your will.
BINEA: [CHUCKLES]
That's why I love you.
Come with me, handsome.
[BINEA SPEAKING SPANISH]
HERON: I need you
to keep the men happy.
How happy?
[BAND CONTINUES PLAYING
SWING MUSIC]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
MARJORIE: Mmm.
Are the rats in the nest?
You won't find a German,
Spanish or Italian officer
anywhere else tonight.
- [SWING MUSIC CONTINUES]
- [PEOPLE CHEERING]
HERON: Between the beer fest
at the harbor
and this little get-together,
that'll be 90% of the soldiers
away from the dock.
The charge is set
to blow the harbor lights
in 30 minutes.
Can you keep him here that long?
Silly boy, silly question.
Look at the dress.
[MAN CHEERS]
[LAUGHS]
[TRUMPET FLARES]
Hi.
So, you call this a party?
MARJORIE: This is just
the thin end of the wedge.
I've created a performance
just for you.
Well, I could show you
a real party.
[MARJORIE CHUCKLES]
[IN ITALIAN]
[PEOPLE CHEERING, APPLAUDING]
- [LAUGHS]
- [FRANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[IN ITALIAN]
[IN ENGLISH]
Why do I care, Spaghetti?
Pizza.
Excuse me
while I powder my nose.
- What, again?
- [SCOFFS]
Don't panic, Caesar.
Brush up on your Italian.
Your gift needs to be wrapped.
Keep those officers
drinking, please.
- Of course. Okay.
- Thank you, Femi.
The Duchessa's hull
has been reinforced.
It won't sink.
We need to stop the mission.
[FRANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES]
That's going to be hard to do.
MARJORIE: Listen to me.
Our mission will fail.
The expl*sives won't work
because he's reinforced it
to be unsinkable.
You have to stop them now.
But the charge is about
to blow the lights.
[b*mb TICKING]
Well, if you can't
stop the lights,
stop the men.
Luhr must not leave this party.
I'll keep him busy. Go, now.
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
[MUSIC FADES]
[BAND PLAYING SWING MUSIC]
GUS: And we're off.
GEOFFREY: Gus, wait.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGNAL BEEPING]
Stork to Maid,
Stork to Maid, come in.
Channel five.
GUS: [OVER RADIO]
This is Maid. Switching to 20.
Go ahead.
Tin of corned beef
can't be cracked.
The ship cannot be sunk.
expl*sives will fail.
It's Stork, sir.
Put him on open speaker.
HERON: Corned beef
can't be cracked.
Stork, this is M.
Never mind the corned beef.
Just find a way.
- Over.
- Pound incoming, sir.
- HERON: Repeat...
- Switch that off.
- We must...
- [TURNS OFF RADIO]
[DOOR OPENS]
Stop this immediately.
What you are doing ends now,
or every last one of you
will be subject to a tribunal.
Is that clear?
I don't know what
you're talking about, sir.
Is that correct, Sergeant?
HERON: [OVER RADIO]
Hold position.
GUS: How long, Stork?
- HERON: Awaiting orders.
- Give me that.
HERON: Stand by.
March-Phillips,
this is Admiral Pound
giving you a direct order.
Abort this mission now.
[OVER SPEAKERS]
I will make sure that
none of you see
the light of day again.
You will spend
the rest of your lives
locked up
at His Majesty's pleasure.
That includes all of you.
Geoffrey Appleyard,
Anders Lassen,
- Freddy Buzz...
- GUS: I'm sorry...
...and Henry Hayes.
Can't quite make out
- what you're saying.
- [RADIO STATIC CRACKLING]
Bye.
- Is... Is that clear?
- [RADIO STATIC CRACKLES]
GUS: Sorry? What?
I can't...
I can't quite hear you.
[HESITATES]
GUS: Please... f*ck off.
[RECEIVER CLATTERS]
You and your operation
are reckless, Brigadier.
I will personally
advise parliament
to have the Prime Minister
removed from office.
And I am going to shut you down.
Message received
loud and clear, sir.
I suggest you also
f*ck off, Sergeant.
Fleming, contact March-Phillips.
- [RADIO CLICKS]
- [STATIC CRACKLES]
Lily, get me
the Prime Minister on hotline.
- LILY: Right away, sir.
- Come in, 01.
Come in, do you receive?
[RECEIVER CLATTERS]
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
- Yes?
- M: Prime Minister,
I'm afraid
we've been discovered.
[SIGHS]
There was a mole in our midst
and Admiral Pound
has ordered the mission
to be aborted.
He wants to have parliament
remove you from office.
The mission must continue.
CHURCHILL: Tell Pound
if he has a problem,
to take it up with me.
He knows where I live.
Tell the men to press on.
I'm afraid we've lost
all communication, sir.
There must be
something that we can do.
The only thing
I can do is remind you,
the reason
we chose March-Phillips
is because
he doesn't follow orders.
Then let's hope we chose well.
[RECEIVER CLATTERS]
[SIGHS]
The Duchessa's hull
has been reinforced.
Which means she can't be sunk.
At least not with the amount
of expl*sives we're carrying.
Just wondering how and when
exactly this took place.
It's not important
how and when, it's happened.
Well, it is
kind of important, Gus.
I don't care
about the prison time,
but I do care about finishing
what we've started.
Thank you, Freddy.
There must be
some sort of mistake.
You can't just reinforce...
There's no mistake, Haysey.
I'm just lost about
how and when exactly...
- Enough!
- [TABLE RATTLES]
Why don't we sink the tug boats?
Get rid of the shuttle
to the U-boats.
It's not enough.
They'll replace them in a week.
Why don't we steal them?
We can use Billy's boat
to drag the Duchessa
out of the harbor
and steal the other two
German tug boats
that service the U-boats.
And how are
we supposed to do that?
Not only is she double-plated,
weighing twice as much,
but you'd need a full crew
to move a ship that size.
The tug boats are the crew.
We tow the Duchessa
out to the ocean
and, well, steal the lot.
Then what?
We still can't sink them.
We don't need to.
We sail
into international waters
and hand everything
over to the Navy.
They're following us anyway,
so they'll be more than happy
to see us again.
And what about the anchor?
Have you seen the size of it?
If we're gonna
actually start to move her,
their S-boats
will catch us in seconds.
Well, what are you going to do
with all the expl*sives
you brought, Freddy?
We'll use them
to blow the anchor.
We'll rig the S-boats
so they can't follow,
rig the fuel reserve
that supplies the U-boats,
and then, well, blow the lot up.
That fuel expl*si*n's
gonna bring
everyone and their mother
down to the harbor.
GEOFFREY: We set the fuse,
so that the fuel dump blows
once we're outside the harbor.
Then we sneak out quietly.
Not bad.
[CHUCKLES] It's very greedy.
- Well, I'm in.
- LASSEN: Well,
I'm not leaving until I have
a barrel full of n*zi hearts.
I'll do whatever
you tell me to do, sir.
Gentlemen,
let's steal some boats.
[GUS SIGHS]
Turns out she's double-plated,
so change of plans.
We're going
to steal the boats instead.
[SCOFFS]
Is that even possible?
I'm not entirely sure.
But if you're up for it,
so are we.
And you know what that means.
A lot more blood
and a lot more sweat.
Hopefully not any of ours,
old boy.
I don't think we can do this
without you, Billy.
[KAMP BILLY SIGHS]
Well, I'm up for it if you are.
I think we're gonna
need your tug.
[KAMP BILLY CHUCKLES]
Haysey and I will
take a stroll along the harbor
and take out
any soldiers still patrolling.
Freddy will bring
his dinghy around
and take care of the S-boats.
We'll meet you by the tug boats.
KAMP BILLY: And the Duchessa?
That's Apple and me.
We'll take care of any crew
and blow the anchor.
GEOFFREY:
And destroy their comms.
Not sure
what you'll meet on board.
Take my top boy
and two more of my men.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
Gentlemen, let's prepare.
♪ Oh, the shark, babe
♪ Has such teeth, dear
♪ And he shows them
pearly white
[CROWD CHEERING]
♪ Just a jack-Kn*fe
♪ Has old MacHeath, dear
♪ And he keeps it out of sight
♪ You know
when that shark bites
♪ With his teeth, dear
♪ Scarlet billows
starts to spread
♪ Fancy gloves, oh,
wears old MacHeath, dear
♪ So there's never,
never a trace of red
♪ On the sidewalk
♪ On Sunday morning,
don't you know
♪ Lies a body
♪ Oozing life
♪ And someone sneakin'
around the corner
♪ Could that be
old Mack the Kn*fe?
♪ There's a tug boat
♪ Down by the river,
don't cha know
[EXHALES]
♪ Where a cement bag's
just a-drooping on down...
- [SONG FADES]
- [TENSE GRAND MUSIC PLAYING]
[SHIP MOTOR WHIRRING]
[g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
[SAILORS SPEAKING IN GERMAN]
[RUSTLING]
- [g*n FIRES QUIETLY]
- [GRUNTS]
[SOLDIER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Not yet.
[SOLDIERS CLEARING THROAT,
CLAMORING]
Mein Herr.
[IN GERMAN]
Haysey...
[g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
[GUS LAUGHING]
[SINGING IN GERMAN]
[CROWD GASPS, CHEERS]
[TENSE GRAND MUSIC CRESCENDOES]
- [MUSIC FADES]
- [SINGING CONTINUES MUTEDLY]
[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
HENRY: [IN ENGLISH] Up there
on the left, sir.
GUS: Yes.
- [g*n FIRES QUIETLY]
- [SOLDIER SCREAMS]
- [CRASHES]
- [GUS LAUGHS]
He made a crash!
[SOLDIER SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[SPEAKS GERMAN]
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [SOLDIERS GROAN]
- [SOLDIER SHOUTS IN GERMAN]
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
We could take that car, sir.
Save us some shoe leather.
[GRUNTS]
[CONTINUES SINGING]
[INTENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
[SINGING MUTEDLY]
[AUDIBLY IN ENGLISH]
♪ Look out, old Macky is back ♪
- [MUSIC STOPS]
- [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
[IN GERMAN]
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [THUD]
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]
MAN: [IN ENGLISH] Incoming.
[ENGINE STOPS]
[DOORS OPEN, CLOSE]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Papers please.
- Commander. [EXHALES]
- All good, Freddy?
Charges are set to go
once we're out
of the harbor, sir.
Let's carry on then.
[DRAMATIC CHORD PLAYS]
[SOLDIERS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[GEOFFREY EXHALES]
[HEINRICH SPEAKING GERMAN]
MARJORIE:
Did you enjoy your gift?
HEINRICH: Mmm.
I think now it's time
that the fox shows his den
to the vixen.
[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
- [GUS GRUNTS]
- [g*n FIRES QUIETLY]
[SOLDIER THUDS]
- [CHOKING]
- [GUS GRUNTS]
- [SOLDIERS CHEERING, LAUGHING]
- [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Heron, why are
the lights still on?
I lit the room with oil lamps,
so they wouldn't notice
when the power went out.
[PEOPLE CHEERING, LAUGHING]
[LOCK CLICKS]
[SCREAMS]
- [SAILOR SHOUTING IN GERMAN]
- [ARROW SWOOSHING]
- [SAILOR SHOUTING IN GERMAN]
- [g*nshots]
[GEOFFREY PANTING]
[GRENADE CLATTERS]
- [ALARM BLARING]
- [SAILORS CLAMORING]
- [g*nshots]
- [SAILORS SCREAM]
- Look out!
- [g*nshots]
[g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [SCREAMS]
- [SAILORS CLAMORING]
[SAILOR YELLS]
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [SOLDIER GROANS]
Freddy, rig this 88,
then take the first tug
with Haysey.
- Gute nacht.
- Guten abend.
[SOLDIER 1 GROANING]
GUS: Guten abend.
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [SOLDIER 2 SCREAMS]
- [SPEAKS GERMAN]
- [BOTH GRUNTING]
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [SAILOR 1 SCREAMS]
[CHOKING]
GUS: [IN ENGLISH]
Terribly sorry, old boy.
- Do you mind? I seem to...
- [Kn*fe CLANGS]
- [CHOKES]
- ...have misplaced my Kn*fe.
[GROANS]
[ALARM CONTINUES BLARING]
[CHOKING]
[LASSEN GRUNTING]
[SAILOR YELLING IN GERMAN]
[GROANS]
- [g*nshots]
- [ADEDAYO SCREAMS]
[g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [SAILOR 1 SPEAKING GERMAN]
- [ADEDAYO YELLS]
[SAILOR 2 GRUNTING]
- [SAILOR 3 YELLS]
- [SAILOR 4 GASPS]
[SAILOR 5 SHOUTS
IN GERMAN, GROANS]
[SAILOR 6 YELLS]
[GRUNTING]
[SAILOR 7 SHOUTS IN GERMAN]
[CHOKES]
[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
- [SAILOR SPEAKS GERMAN]
- [g*n FIRES QUIETLY]
- [CLAMORING IN GERMAN]
- [g*n FIRES QUIETLY]
[SAILOR 1 GRUNTS]
[SAILOR 2 YELLING]
- [SAILOR 3 SCREAMING]
- [SLASHING]
- [SHOUTING IN GERMAN]
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [g*nsh*t]
- Bugger!
[CLAMORING]
Thank you, Billy.
[BOTH SHOUTING]
[SAILORS SPEAKING GERMAN]
- Oh!
- [LASSEN GRUNTS]
[SAILOR 1 SHOUTING IN GERMAN]
[SCREAMING, GASPING]
[SAILOR 2 YELLING]
[SAILOR 3 ROARS]
[GASPING]
- [THUDS]
- [PANTING]
[FAINT CLAMORING]
[Kn*fe CLANGS]
[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[ADEDAYO YELLS, GRUNTS]
[GRUNTING, YELLING]
[MUSIC FADES]
[DOOR CLICKS]
I hope that's
not your blood, Lassen.
I hope so too.
[SOLDIERS CLAMORING IN GERMAN]
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [SAILORS GROAN, THUD]
[MAN GRUNTS]
Okay, boys, cast off.
Let's get this ship out of here.
[GUS SIGHS]
[IN ENGLISH] Go on. Go on...
Go on!
LASSEN: There's three
more rooms just like this one.
That should stop the U-boats
for the next six months.
Let's get this thing
towed out of here.
NDULUE: We are here, boys.
Quietly. Let's set a warning.
I need you to go
to the front of the boat
and attach the Vulcan
to the Duchessa,
Lassen and I
will head to the bridge.
Okay. [SPEAKING YORUBA]
[IN ENGLISH]
Take the right side.
And you, get up there
and get this thing started.
It's Gus.
GEOFFREY: Everyone's in place.
What,
you didn't actually think
it would work, did you?
It was your plan.
Well, let's make sure
we keep our end of the bargain.
Signal back and I'll heave off.
So, what happens now?
We wait for
the anchor chain to blow.
When do
we expect that to happen?
- [MOTOR WHIRRING]
- Shortly, I hope.
And then we're free to take her.
However, the real race begins
once the fuel depot goes.
Then we'll have every soldier
on the island turning up.
We don't wanna
be around to witness that.
How long was that fuse
you attached
to the anchor chain?
We'll find out soon enough.
[ALARM BLARING FAINTLY]
ADEDAYO: Wait for it,
you're gonna catch the rope.
[MEN CLAMORING IN YORUBA]
[GRUNTING]
[DRAMATIC CHORD PLAYS]
[IN ENGLISH] Come on.
[WHIRS, CLICKS]
- [FAINT expl*si*n]
- [PEOPLE GASP]
[CLAMORING]
[LOCK RATTLING]
[BAND PLAYING SWING MUSIC]
First domino falls.
- Hitch up the other line.
- Yes, boss.
Pick up the slack.
FREDDY: They need to move her
before the fuel dump blows.
Heron, we need Marjorie.
Leave Marjorie to me.
We'll catch you up.
Very good.
Let's go!
[MUSIC FADES]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
HEINRICH:
I have to say, Fraulein,
you were good.
And you were sly.
There are only
two types of people
that are as sly as the fox.
The German
and the Jew.
And you are not German.
I think now it's time...
[MUSIC BUILDS]
- ...for a real party.
- [LIGHTER CLICKS]
[MUSIC FADES]
That wasn't
supposed to happen yet.
- [FAINT EXPLOSIONS]
- [CHAINS RATTLING]
Shackle her!
And follow me.
[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
The harbor is under att*ck!
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
[ALL CLAMORING]
[INTENSE WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
[BINEA IN GERMAN]
[CLAMORING]
[ALARM WAILING]
[FAINT SHOUTING]
GUS: They're coming.
We need power on the engine.
[ENGINE ACCELERATING]
- She's too heavy!
- Pick up the slack!
[GRUNTS]
[SHOUTING IN GERMAN]
[COCKS g*n]
GUS: [IN ENGLISH] Wait...
[SOLDIER 1 IN GERMAN]
[SOLDIER 2 SHOUTING
INDISTINCTLY]
FREDDY: [IN ENGLISH]
She's not moving!
SOLDIER 3: Fire! Fire! Fire!
GUS: Wait for it.
[g*nshots]
[CLAMORING]
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [GASPS]
[SOLDIERS SCREAMING]
[SOLDIER 4 SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]
[SOLDIER 5 YELLS]
We need
more power on the engine.
Give me more power! More power!
[ENGINE ACCELERATES HARDER]
That's it, it's working!
- [ENGINE PULSES]
- That's it!
[ADVENTUROUS
WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
[OFFICER IN GERMAN]
- [CLAMORING CONTINUES]
- [g*nshots]
[YELLING]
[SOLDIER SCREAMING]
NDULUE: [IN ENGLISH] Ready!
[MACHINE g*n f*ring]
[SOLDIERS SCREAMING]
- [BOTH GRUNTING]
- [g*n FIRES]
[SOLDIER SCREAMING]
[SCREAMS]
- [MOUTHING] Haysey!
- [TENSE MUSIC BUILDING]
- [expl*si*n]
- [SCREAM]
[SOLDIERS CLAMORING]
[OFFICER IN GERMAN]
[MUSIC SLOWS]
[FAINT CLAMORING]
[IN ENGLISH]
We're out of range now.
- I'm no expert.
- [HENRY GROANING]
But you've got a big old hole
in your shoulder, Haysey.
[SOLDIERS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[SPEAKING GERMAN]
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [SOLDIERS GROAN]
[SOLDIERS CLAMORING]
[OFFICER SHOUTING IN GERMAN]
[SOLDIERS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[OFFICER IN SPANISH]
[IN ENGLISH] Captain,
would you explain to me
what's going on here?
The power is gone.
The fuel depot
has been sabotaged.
And no one knows
what's happening.
But this is your fault.
Where is my ship?
The Duchessa, where did it go?
Someone's taken him
while you weren't looking.
You idiot!
You always have to say something
at the very wrong time.
There is never
a right time with you!
Your greed and perversion
has distracted you
from your duties.
Now my harbor is destroyed.
And my ship is gone!
And now you're gone too.
Thank you.
[SPEAKING GERMAN]
[expl*si*n]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
[IN ENGLISH] Impressive.
HENRY: Sounds like
your detonators worked.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[SIGHS]
[FAINT CLAMORING]
[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
[OFFICER SPEAKS GERMAN]
[SOLDIERS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[MUSIC FADES OUT]
Chapeau, mademoiselle.
[IN ENGLISH] You play well.
You really are the vixen.
Am I?
Well, my hand's been revealed.
So, what now?
Now, I possess your hand
and for everything
you have done to me,
I will visit
a thousand fold upon you.
[IN GERMAN]
[CHAINS CLANG]
[IN ENGLISH] Yeah.
[COCKS g*n]
But no.
- [SOLDIER SHOUTS]
- [g*n f*ring QUIETLY]
- [DOOR OPENS]
- Lie down.
Gus, we can't wait much longer.
They're coming.
If we stay here,
we'll lose contact
with the others.
Hold fast, Billy.
Heron has a way of surviving
and Marjorie,
well... good luck with that.
That's a patrol boat
coming towards us.
- Gus, we need to leave. Now.
- [COCKS g*n]
Hold on...
[BOAT APPROACHING]
It's them.
KAMP BILLY: RH.
- KB.
- GUS: Marjorie.
Overdressed and underdressed
at the same time.
Come on, let's get you
out of those shackles.
[STATIC CRACKLING]
Come in, Violet.
Calling H.M.S. Violet.
Come in, Violet.
GEOFFREY: [ON RADIO]
This is Maid Honor.
Go ahead, Maid Honor.
- Loudspeaker.
- [CLICKS]
GEOFFREY: Sorry to bother you
at this time of the night,
but we've found ourselves
with one or two items
that might be
of interest to you.
Shall we rendezvous
for a handover?
Get me Admiral Pound.
[TENSE ADVENTUROUS
MUSIC PLAYING]
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
- Yes?
- GUBBINS: [OH PHONE] Sir,
- good news and bad news.
- Yes, yes. Get to it.
Bad news, they didn't sink her.
Good news,
they stole her.
Congratulations, Prime Minister.
[TENSE ADVENTUROUS
MUSIC CONTINUES]
[MUSIC FADES OUT]
[MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
OFFICER: Hold it there!
Commander.
You were ordered
by Admiral Pound
to cease activities.
You did not.
Therefore, you are
to be returned to England
to face a tribunal. You.
Return to your tug
with the rest of your militia.
- Take them to the brig.
- OFFICER: Sir!
Good to see you too, Commander.
Separate cells.
OFFICER: Follow me!
Let's go! Let's get moving!
- RH.
- KB.
SAILOR: Come on.
Go on, move.
One moment, seaman.
[CURIOUS WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
Billy.
One eye on the boundary...
One eye on the pub.
They'll thank you
for this one day.
I'm not sure
that's what we were
really looking for, was it,
Your Highness?
Shop's open
for you anytime, Major.
GLORIA: Sorry to intrude,
Prime Minister,
but M thought
you should see this.
CHURCHILL: Thank you, Gloria.
[MUSIC TURNS HAPPY]
[MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
- [GATE RATTLING]
- GUARD: Line up. Face front!
Line up. Face front!
No need to shout.
GUARD: Stand still!
Any chance of a cup of tea?
You, back up to the wall.
Off the cloth, moth.
GUARD: Stand straight!
[DOOR OPENS]
- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
- [WALKING STICK CLACKING]
CHURCHILL: Never before
have the senior m*llitary
and Navy Commanders
of this country
been so united
in their condemnation.
It is their view
that the discipline
on which
our armed forces depends
has been undermined
by men serving no master
but their own thirst
for blood, m*rder and mayhem.
Men who disobeyed a direct order
from the Admiral
of the fleet himself,
and chose instead
to trust the whim and intuition
of the man standing beside him.
How dare they.
When only this morning,
the first American soldiers
arrived on British soil,
ready to stand
shoulder to shoulder
with us in Europe.
Allies who risked death
crossing the North Atlantic,
and only by some miracle
found their crossing
untroubled by n*zi U-boats.
A happy circumstance,
I might add,
which cannot be accounted for,
but which has cleared the way
for the United States
to enter the European w*r.
And for which I know
President Roosevelt
to be immeasurably grateful.
But setting aside
this stroke
of unexplained fortune,
what is to be done
with this unruly company
who do not obey orders?
Who seem to have formed
their own ministry
of ungentlemanly warfare.
[CURIOUS WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
From now on, they work for me.
[MUSIC TURNS WHIMSICAL]
[MUSIC FADES OUT]
[CAPTIVATING MUSIC PLAYING]
[AMUSING WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC FADES OUT]
[EXCITING MUSIC PLAYING]
[EXCITING MUSIC CONTINUES]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[CURIOUS GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC FADES OUT]
Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, The (2024)
Moderator: Maskath3
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