14x02 - The Devil's Chord

Episode transcripts for the 2005 TV show "Doctor Who". (Ninth to Twelfth Doctor)*
Time and Space traveling adventures of a Gallifreyan Time Lord only known as "the Doctor" and his companions.

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14x02 - The Devil's Chord

Post by bunniefuu »

[PIANO NOTE PLAYING REPEATEDLY]

[TUTOR] First we have a note.

Then we have a tune.

["THREE BLIND MICE" PLAYING]

Then we have a melody.

[BEETHOVEN'S "MOONLIGHT SONATA" PLAYING]

Beethoven wrote this

when he first discovered
he was going deaf.

All that rage and fury,

out of which, something beautiful.

[PIANO PLAYING STOPS]

Am I boring you, Henry?

- It's just a bit stuffy.
- [SIGHS]

Can't you play something
more exciting, sir?

[INHALES SHARPLY] There
is one thing you might like.

It's called the Devil's chord.

Tell me more, sir.

[CHUCKLES] It was banned by
the church in medieval times

in case it allows the Devil
to enter the room.

[PLAYS NOTES]

[PLAYS TRITONE CHORD]

[CHUCKLES] Makes you shiver, doesn't it?

Technically, it's known as a tritone,

but, uh, put it in context and, uh...

[CLASSICAL COMPOSITION PLAYING]

Oh! Gosh.

Oh, goodness me. Uh...

[KNOCKING]

What?

[KNOCKING]

Is someone playing a game?

[KNOCKING]

Ta-da!

[PLAYS GLISSANDO, TWO CHORDS]

- Henry, get away from him.
- [HUMANOID] Them.

- [TUTOR] What?
- Me.

- [TUTOR] What?
- I'm them.

- You're who?
- "You're who?"

[CHUCKLES] Nice to see you again, kiddo.

- [CHUCKLES]
- You know each other?

That's my daddy.

Don't be ridiculous.

You didn't look at my name, sir.

[TUTOR] Course I did.

It's Henry... What was it? Henry...

[CHUCKLES]

"Henry Arbinger". That's it.

[HUMANOID LAUGHING]

Harbinger.

[LAUGHING]

Think of him as my prelude.

And now his song is sung. [KISSES]

Wh... Who are you?

My notation is Maestro.

But what are you?

I am...

music.

[CHUCKLES]

And you, Mr. Timothy Drake,
you're a genius.

[SCOFFS] Don't be ridiculous.

You're the greatest composer
who ever lived.

Clever enough to find the lost chord.

But it's so sad, Timothy.

[WHIMPERS]

You never had the luck.

You never got that break.

I did not.

You're right. No-Nobody
ever understood me.

All those melodies, stifled
and strangled inside you.

All those songs you never
sang, they sit there still,

wrapped around your
heart, still b*ating.

Wrapped so tight.

[LAUGHING]

Would you like me to set them free?

I would love that, yes. Yes.

Music, Maestro, please.

[MUSIC-HALL MUSIC PLAYING]

- [TIMOTHY SCREAMS]
- [MAESTRO LAUGHING]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[LAUGHING]

[MUSIC ENDS]

[MOANS]

[SIGHS]

- [HICCUPS]
- [NOTE PLAYS]

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

Now.

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

[SIGHS]

I wanna see

The Beatles recording
their very first album.

[SMACKS LIPS]

- Seriously?
- Well, you asked.

If I could go anywhere
in time and space,

that's where I'd go because my mum,
she had a girlfriend, Claire.

And I loved Claire, and
she was dead into vinyl.

She had all The Beatles albums,

so we used to play 'em
every day after school.

Ten years old, I was.

We had Revolver, the White Album...

So, yeah, if I could go anywhere
then that's where I'd go.

[SIGHS]

That is amazing.

- Oh! Wait, seriously?
- Oh!

- People always say the Titanic.
- [RUBY CHUCKLES]

- Or Mars. Or Bethlehem.
- Oh!

- But The Beatles!
- [GIGGLES]

- Why have I never done that before?
- [LAUGHS]

- Come on!
- Oh! [EXCLAIMS]

- [DOCTOR LAUGHS]
- [TARDIS WARBLES]

- [RUBY LAUGHS]
- Oh.

February 11th, 1963.

- [RUBY] No way. Really?
- Mm-hmm.

- [HUMS] Whoo!
- [RUBY SHRIEKS, LAUGHS]

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

If we're in the '60s, what
about my clothes? [SIGHS]

Good thinking.

Could give you go-go boots.

- [RUBY] Oh, I've got eyeliner!
- Oh, eyeliner!

Oh, I want a beehive! I want a beehive!

I've got wigs galore!

["CALIFORNIA SOUL" PLAYING]

♪ Like a sound you hear
that lingers in your ear ♪


♪ But you can't forget from
sundown to sunset, now, now ♪


♪ It's all in the air
you hear it everywhere ♪


♪ No matter what you do
it's gonna grab a hold on you ♪


♪ California soul ♪

[SONG CONTINUES, MUFFLED]



- [LAUGHING] Hey, hey, hey!
- [GASPS]

- [DOCTOR CHUCKLES]
- Oh, no way!

- [GASPS] It's like the album cover!
- [SONG STOPS]

- [SHRIEKS] I am having the best time!
- [DOCTOR GASPS]

- [GASPS] Look at the cars.
- G... Oh, come on!

[RUBY LAUGHS]

[BOTH VOCALISING CONGA LINE MUSIC]

- [RUBY SQUEALS]
- [DOCTOR LAUGHS]

- Abbey Road Studios!
- [SIGHS]

Not called Abbey Road yet.

Right now, in '63, they are
the EMI Recording Studios.

- [RUBY] Huh. [LAUGHING]
- [LAUGHING]

And how do we get in?

- Won't they ask who we are?
- [SCOFFS]

[RUBY] Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh.

[INHALES DEEPLY] Hi.

Janet said we could take over,
so you can have ten minutes off.

Oh, right. Thank you. Very kind.

[SIGHS]

Yep. There's always a Janet.
And everyone wants a cuppa.

- Brilliant. [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHS, GIGGLES]

Good morning.

Cuppa tea?

Uh, yeah. Make it a
strong one. Two sugars.

- Uh.
- [INTERCOM FEEDS BACK]

Boys, do you want anything?

[MCCARTNEY] I'm all right for now.

Maybe something stronger later on.

- What do you think, John?
- Now you're talking, Paul, lad.

[MCCARTNEY] I just want
a good night's sleep.

[CHUCKLES] You keep playing
like that, we'll all have a good kip.

[LAUGHS]

[MARTIN] All right.
Let's take it from the top.

I thought the chorus... Don't slide
in the harmonies. Just hit it.

[MCCARTNEY] Whatever you say, boss.

Hurry up then, George. Only
getting paid seven quid a day.

- [CHUCKLES] Uh, good luck.
- [MARTIN] Thanks, love.

[CLEARS THROAT, CHUCKLES]

- [MARTIN] Roll to record.
- [BUTTON BEEPS]

And a three, two, one.

♪ I've got a dog ♪

♪ He's called Fred ♪

♪ My dog is alive ♪

♪ He's not dead ♪

♪ I love my dog ♪

♪ He loves me too ♪

♪ I haven't got a cat ♪

♪ Only a dog ♪

♪ My dog, my dog, my dog, my dog ♪

♪ I've got a dog ♪

♪ I love my dog ♪

♪ He's my dog ♪

♪ He's not your dog ♪

♪ If you want a dog get your own ♪

[RUBY INHALES DEEPLY]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[WHISPERS] Hi. Don't mind us.
Just a cuppa tea.

Okay.

Going from the second chorus.

Playing in the last four bars
of the verse.

Good luck, Cilla.

Don't let me down, Cilla.

[PRODUCER] And a three, two, one.

♪ I love you ♪

♪ You love me ♪

♪ We are two ♪

♪ We are not three ♪

♪ 'Cause you love me ♪

♪ And I love you ♪

♪ We're quite happy ♪

♪ I think ♪

♪ Perhaps ♪

Oh, Cilla.

Don't mind us.

- [ORCHESTRA PRODUCER] Roll to record.
- [BUTTON BEEPS]

[DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYING]

["THREE BLIND MICE" PLAYING]

[GROANS]

[DOCTOR] Look at them.

Everything's gone dull.

No one hums. No one whistles.

No one taps their feet.

I don't get it though.

Music isn't...

[SIGHS]

Like, you can't lose it
or steal it or k*ll it.

It's just natural.

You get music when the wind
blows through the trees.

It's called aeolian tones.

The music...

Music is the highest form of thought.
If you take that away...

Finland? That never happened.

If music is gone, that means
everything is changing.

The whole human race
is taking a different path.

[RUBY] Okay, so what do we do?

[DOCTOR] You take John Lennon.
I'll take Paul McCartney.

Find out what happened
and when it happened.

- Two cups of tea, my darlings.
- [RUBY SIGHS]

That's half a crown. Ta very much.

How much?

- That is outrageous.
- Outrageous.

Take it or leave it, sweetheart.

- [DOCTOR SIGHS] That is daylight robbery.
- [COIN CLANKS]

Ooh. That's me. Margaret
Lockwood in The Wicked Lady.

Now there was a woman.

Statuesque.

Uh, excuse me. Hold on, Paul.

Um, could I just have a word?

I've got a cup of tea for you.
Mr. Epstein sent me.

Okay. Um...

Y-You are writing songs
for the band, yeah?

They're not very good, are they?

Oh. Uh.

[STAMMERS] No. No.

Great.

That's great, lad.
That's how it should be.

It's not like the old days
when we had waltzes

and fandangoes and all that.

But waltzes used to exist.

When did they start becoming wrong?

Don't know. Way back. '20s? '30s?

Why? What happened?

We started seeing sense.

What we're doing here
today is the last gasp.

If I can make a bit of money
out of cheap, old rhymes,

then I can settle down
and get a proper job.

It's embarrassing, singing.

Just wanna finish the album,
get back to Liverpool and...

[SIGHS] ... forget it.

[STAMMERS] But you can't do that.

Wh... [CHUCKLES] We need ya.

[CHUCKLES] What for?
I'm no good at anything.

But, Paul,

see when it's just you on your own,

don't you think that there
must be better songs?

You know, songs that lift you

and devastate you and-and make you soar.

Songs that are-are tucked away

somewhere in-in secret
in the back of your mind?

How do you know that?

I... I just wanna go home.

Forget this life.

Just have me tea and go to bed

with a woman of me own, you know?

It's all I want.

But then, why do I wake up crying?

It's like, sometimes, late at night,
I get this thought.

Like, it's so far away, but it's a note.

A single note.

And then a second.

And a third and fourth and fifth.

And you put them together,

and it feels like the most
holy thing on this earth.

Like a G, then an E.

And a G, maybe twice.

And then C.

And if you put words to it,
words right from your heart...

♪ I love you so much ♪

[SCOFFS]

[CHUCKLES]

[MAESTRO CLEARS THROAT]

[CLATTERS]

[RUBY GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

Don't waste me time.

[MCCARTNEY] Do you know what
you are with your ideas, pal?

Disgusting. You are disgusting.

[CHUCKLES] What the hell was that?

Yeah, that's it, Vinnie. Nice and safe.

I want that installed on the rooftop
like it is precious china.

[VINNIE] Easy, boys. Don't hit the wall.

Right, let's head on up.

Thing is, without music,
dance must be gone.

No one dances anymore.

I mean, can you dance without music?

I mean, you can, but do you want to?

And think about it, Ruby. Love songs.

There are no more love songs anymore.

Oh, my God!

There's no more love songs
in the whole wide world.

- [DOCTOR SIGHS]
- Ooh.

[COCKNEY ACCENT] Old London Town!

- Oh, is that smog?
- [LAUGHS]

I thought they got rid
of that in the '50s.

[NORMAL VOICE] We had really bad
smog in December '62, but this?

It's more like a darkening.

The world is darkening.

I live over there.

- [RUBY] You do what?
- I live over there.

- What do you mean?
- Shoreditch.

I'm there right now.

Okay, you're gonna have to start again.

In the past, right now, I live
in a place called Totter's Lane.



and I live there with my
granddaughter, Susan.

- Ah. Wh...
- [LAUGHS]

- Okay?
- Your what?

- My granddaughter.
- Susan?

We could go and have
a look but, you know,

timelines. [IMITATES expl*si*n]

- Wh... You-You've got children?
- I did have.

I will have.

Time Lords get a bit complicated.

Yeah, but you've got a granddaughter?

Like, now? Like, today?
Back in our time? My time.

- [EXCLAIMS] Where is she?
- I don't know.

How do you not know? [SIGHS]

The Time Lords were m*rder*d.

Genocide rolled across time and space

like a great, big cellular expl*si*n.

Maybe it k*lled her too.

Doctor. God.

[CHUCKLES]

There we go, Doc.

- Hey, Vinnie!
- [RUBY WHOOPS]

Thank you very much.

Come on.

Bit of luck, I'll have you
whistling by sundown.

Can't bear whistling, Doc.

All those horrible tunes. No, thanks!

Well, all right.

- [RUBY LAUGHS]
- [DOCTOR EXCLAIMS]

[SIGHS]

[AMERICAN ACCENT] It's all yours, honey.

[SMACKS LIPS] Oh, no,
no, no, no, no. I'm...

[CHUCKLES] I'm not that good.

[NORMAL VOICE] Uh, you
are, sweet. I've seen you.

December '23. King's Arms.

You opened with "One More Sleep"?

Oh, I can't believe you were there.

Ah. It all comes back to Christmas
with you, doesn't it?

I need you to play again.

But what for?

At this moment in time, Ruby Sunday,

you are the only music in the world.

Let's see what happens
if you bring music back.

[GRUNTS] It's just... No pressure.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Okay. [SIGHS]

I wrote this for my friend Trudy
when a girl broke her heart.

[DOCTOR] Mmm.

[MELANCHOLY COMPOSITION PLAYING]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[SIGHS, CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

Mmm.

[PIANO DRAGS, CRASHES]

- [GASPS]
- [DISCORDANT NOTE ECHOES]

No!

No!

[PIANO DRAGS]

[RUBY PANTS]

[MAESTRO GIGGLES IN ARPEGGIO, CHUCKLES]

[GIGGLING IN ARPEGGIO, ECHOES]

- [DOCTOR PANTS]
- [GASPS, PANTS]

[GIGGLING IN ARPEGGIO]

[GASPS]

You called?

[DOCTOR] That was the Giggle!

[PANTS]

- Hide!
- [RUBY] Uh, do what?

We've gotta hide!

[RUBY] You never hide!

[DOCTOR GRUNTS, PANTS]

I can't fight this thing. [PANTS]

[PANTING] Okay.

- [BREATHING HEAVILY]
- [RUBY GRUNTS]

[GASPS, PANTING]

[MAESTRO] I heard music!

[CHORD PLAYS]

[CHUCKLES]

[TUNING FORK REVERBERATES]

♪ Where are you? ♪

[CHUCKLES]

- Who was playing that piano?
- [RUBY WHIMPERING]

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

The chorus of ancient songs calls me...

[INHALES SHARPLY] ... Maestro.

And who...

[TUNING FORK REVERBERATES]

... are you?

Because I heard music.

[CACKLING]

And music...

[TUNING FORK REVERBERATES]

... is mine!

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[BEEPS, WHIRS]

- [AUDIO STOPS]
- [RINGING]

[RINGING ENDS]

[INAUDIBLE] What?

[INAUDIBLE] What?

[INAUDIBLE]

[INAUDIBLE]

[INAUDIBLE]

[AUDIBLE DRIPPING]

[TUNING FORK REVERBERATES]

[THE SONIC WHIRS]

[MAESTRO] Sound and vision.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[WOOD GROANS]

["CLAIR DE LUNE" PLAYING]

[SIGHS] Music.

[HUMS]

- [ORNAMENTS CRASHING]
- [CACKLES]

[SCREAMS]

- [CACKLES]
- [WHIMPERING]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMING]

Wh-Who was that? Were
they inside the piano?

- How can they be inside the piano?
- Okay.

- The piano wouldn't work.
- Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

Okay.

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

You're scaring me now.

That thing must be part of the Pantheon.

Oh, God.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Oh, Ruby, there are...

vast powers beyond the universe.

I told you, when we first met,
I said-I said, "The Toymaker",

and defeating him took everything.

- It ripped me in half.
- But you survived.

It literally... It tore my soul in half.

I can't survive that again.

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

The Toy... The Toymaker
said... He said...

He warned me.

He said, "My legions are coming".

"My legions are coming".

He said, "My legions are coming".

But you made that silence
with the sonic.

- That worked, didn't it?
- Yeah.

One trick. Once. That's all you
get with the gods. [CHUCKLES]

- Okay, so what do we do?
- I don't know.

I don't know, Ruby. That is the point.

- I don't know. I...
- No, but you always know.

- I don't.
- [PANTS]

The last time, I got lucky. Catch.

One trick. Once.

But this thing is stealing music.

I mean, how the...

How the hell is...

- [RUBY SIGHS]
- I'm sorry.

But the power of these
creatures is so vast,

the whole world could
slide into the pit.

Doctor.

I know you're clever.

I know that.

But I've got news for ya.

The world did not end in 1963.

- Right.
- No, but it didn't.

Okay? I'm living proof.

- I was born in 2004...
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]

... and all my life, I've had
Beyoncé and Sam Fender

and Strictly and tap
dancing and raves and...

Oh, my mum sings
"Danny Boy" at Christmas,

when she's drunk, to my gran.

- And don't you see, Doctor?
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]

Music exists.

[CHUCKLES]

Come with me.

[DOOR CLOSES]

So when is it for you, back home?

What time are you?

June 2024?

Uh, it's hard to keep track.

But, yeah, I think so.

- June? July?
- [CONTROLS BEEPING]

- [RUMBLING]
- [TARDIS WARBLES]

Well, have we done it? Are we back?



[FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING]

[DOOR CLOSES]

- [WIND HOWLING]
- [RUBY GASPING]

[SOBS]

[DOCTOR] This is what
we're trying to stop.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

But this isn't real.

This is... [CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES]

- It's just like a parallel universe.
- This is your time.

[SOBS]

[DOCTOR] This is your home
if Maestro isn't stopped.

Where's my mum?

I think without music,
the human race goes sour.

Without any way of expressing
a broken heart,

they go to w*r, without
even knowing why.

Then how am I still alive?

Why don't I fade away?

Because of me.

[RUBY GRUNTS]

- Boo!
- [RUBY] What?

- [GASPING]
- [MAESTRO LAUGHING]

- [CLEARS THROAT]
- [CRACKS FINGERS]

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Maestro, the Doctor.

That was you in '63, wasn't it?

Sweet cheeks. [GIGGLES]

You stepped from one time to another...

[MUSIC STOPS]

... like the Lord Temporal,

who trapped my father
and bound him in salt.

- Yes?
- The child of the Toymaker?

- [SPEAKING FRENCH]
- [MUSIC RESUMES]

[LAUGHING]

I should thank you, Doctor. [CHUCKLES]

Daddy was so bad to me.

♪ Daddy was so mean ♪

♪ Daddy was so tough ♪

♪ Daddy daddied me ♪

♪ And that was quite enough ♪

If he was a living game, you
are the essence of music itself?

[SIGHS, MOANS]

But what's the point?
You've destroyed the world.

Music is gone. How is that a win?

[MAESTRO] Not gone!

Darling, hush!

[WIND HOWLING]

[SIGHS]

[GASPS]

The sound of a nuclear winter.

The purest music of all.

Aeolian tones.

Music without the need of people.

And every song that goes
unsung feeds me.

I get stronger and stronger.

Until I can reach out...

[WHISPERS] ... and steal
the music of the spheres.

[GASPS]

[NORMAL VOICE] Then
the universe will stop turning.

[GASPS] It'll keen in a minor key.

Aeolian tones across
the whole of creation.

And that lament will be
my symphony supreme.

With all of life extinguished.

I'm goin' solo.

How did you enter this world?

Oh. [CHUCKLES] That
would be telling, babe.

No, babes!

Your father established
the rules of fair play!

One thing that he would
never do is cheat.

So I have a right to know.

A genius.

A single, silly man who
found the lost chord.

Which means a different combination
of notes would banish you?

I said, "Genius".

[LAUGHS] And you might be bright.

And hot.

- And...
- [PLAYS LOW NOTES]

... "timey wimey".

[LAUGHS] But genius?

Oh, honey, I don't think so.

- [PLAYING THE SAXON THEME OFF-KEY]
- [CLOISTER BELL SOUNDS IN TARDIS]

[GASPS] What are you doing?

- [PLAYING TUNE]
- Everything resonates, Doctor, dear.

Every atom hums.

And anything that plays a tune is mine.

[MAESTRO GIGGLES]

Sing along, Doctor.

[PLAYS SAXON THEME]

Everybody!

- [UPBEAT PIANO CONTINUES]
- [BELL WARBLES]

- [RUBY] What is it? What's hap...
- Maestro!

Controlling the TARDIS.

[SIGHS] But I say never.

Never!

[GRUNTS] Ruby!

[PANTS]

[BOTH GRUNT]

- Are we flying?
- Only just.

[GRUNTS]

The only thing I can do
is take us back to 1963.

- [GRUNTS]
- [PIANO STOPS]

[BOTH PANTING]

- Where's Maestro? [PANTS]
- Composing.

- [PANTING]
- And the next tune might be deadly.

- [PANTING]
- [PANTS] I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. [KISSES]

Don't hate me.

Okay, come on.

Come on. Come on, come on, come on.

Come on. Okay.

[TARDIS GROANS]

Strange.

- Did you break it?
- No.

No, no, no, no, no.
That's something else.

- Okay. [SPEAKS TURKISH]
- Right.

Okay. If we can record the right tune

on the sonic, we can
use this as a w*apon.

- Right.
- Yeah?

- No, no, no, no.
- Oh. Oh, okay.

We need to find the Notes of Banishment.

Ah, John Lennon's guitar!

That's gotta be a good start.

Okay.

- Okay, but don't you need to be a genius?
- [DOCTOR] Uh...

Oh, just... No offence.
Just a musical genius.

- Sometimes genius is just hard work.
- [STRUMS OFF-KEY]

Yeah?

If I can find the right notes.

[ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Wait a minute.

There's 66 billion trillion
different tunes out there, but...

No, but just wait.

Can you hear that? That music?

Whoa! No, no, no!

Doctor!

I thought that was non-diegetic.

No, no, don't... [SCREAMS]

- [GRUNTS]
- [RUBY SCREAMS]

Doctor!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no! [SCREAMS]

[SCREAMING] Doctor!

[SHRIEKS] Wait! No, no, no, no!

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

Put her down!

[PANTS]

[PANTS]

[GROANS]

[VOCALISES]

[SHOUTS, GRUNTS]

[LAUGHS] Can't trick me twice, honey!

- [MAESTRO CHUCKLES]
- Then fight me!

Huh? Leave her alone!

But she's the only human left
with music in her heart!

[CHUCKLES]

Playing lovesick songs
for heartbroken lesbians,

and that just makes me hungry

for all those delicious songs.

Let me go!

- [NECK CRACKS]
- That's right, pretty girl! Sing!

[TUNING FORK REVERBERATES]

Maestro.

[DISEMBODIED VOICE VOCALISES]

Maestro, I am asking
you. Just... [GASPS]

What?

[VOCALISING CONTINUES]

That's wrong.

What do you mean?

There's a hidden song
deep inside her soul.

- What is it?
- [REVERBERATES]

[CAROLLERS SINGING
"SHEPHERD'S BELL CAROL"]

What?

Ruby.

[SINGING CONTINUES]

What is this?

Christmas.

The music that was playing
the night that she was born.

[SINGING CONTINUES]

How could a song have so much power?

And power like him?

- Like who?
- The oldest one.

On the night of her birth,
he can't have been there.

- [SINGING CONTINUES]
- What for?

- What for? What for? What for?
- [DOCTOR] Who was there?

- [SIGHS] Enough.
- [TUNING FORK CLATTERS]

[SINGING STOPS]

- Whoa!
- [GRUNTS, PANTS]

- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah.

- I've got you. I've got you.
- Okay, okay.

- [PANTS] What was it? What happened?
- It's all right. All right?

It's okay.

[PANTING]

This creature is very wrong.

And this... this is very,
very, very right.

[SIGHS]

Do you know what this is?

This is the famous Abbey Road piano.

[SCOFFS]

They call it the Mrs. Mills Piano.

Oho!

Oh, she was a girl.

We had some adventures,
me and Mrs. Mills. [LAUGHS]

But this is the piano

that The Beatles will play
on their greatest hits.

"Penny Lane".

"Lady Madonna". All from this.

So I know that this piano is rattling

with all the potential
to send you back to hell.

[PLAYS "MAPLE LEAF RAG"]

[GASPS]

Hmm.

Music battle.

[VIOLIN PLAYING]

[PLAYS RAPID ARPEGGIO]

[CHUCKLES]

[PLAYS RAPID HOEDOWN]

[PLAYS RAGTIME]

[COPIES TUNE]

[PLAYS RAPIDLY]

- [PLAYS ARPEGGIO]
- [COPIES TUNE]

- [PLUCKING STRINGS]
- [PLAYING QUICKLY]

[PLAYING DUET]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MUSIC BUILDS, STOPS]

[SCREAMS]

[BOTH PANTING]

[PLAYS NOTE]

[REPEATS NOTE]

Go on then.

[PLAYS NOTE]

Do it.

Can you find it?

- [REPEATS NOTE]
- The lost chord?

- [PLAYS NOTE]
- Are you enough of a genius?

Oh, I would never call
myself that, Maestro.

But I have lived, and I have loved.

And I can only smile like this
because I have lost so much.

I've experienced everything.

Every single thing.

And if that's where music comes from...

- [PLAYS NOTE]
- [GASPS, BREATHES SHAKILY]

... I can find the chord to banish you.

[CHUCKLES]

- [PLAYS NOTE]
- [GASPS, LAUGHS]

- [PLAYS NOTE]
- [GASPS, SHOUTS, GROANS]

[INHALES, LAUGHS]

- [PLAYS NOTE]
- [VOCALISES, SHOUTS]

- [PLAYS NEXT NOTE]
- [LAUGHS, SHOUTS]

[GROANING]

- [PLAYS ANOTHER NOTE]
- [GRUNTS]

[GROANS, LAUGHS]

[GROANING]

[WHISPERS] One more.

[GROANING]

[WHISPERS] Just one more.

One more.

[MAESTRO WHIMPERS, LAUGHS]

Bum note.

[IMITATES CRYING, LAUGHS]

♪ Maestro ♪

[HOLDS NOTE]

[STRAINS, GRUNTS]

- [GRUNTS]
- [RUBY] Whoa!

[DOCTOR GRUNTS]

[CRASHES]

Song time.

[KISSES, BLOWS]

[PLAYS REVEILLE]

[TRUMPET STOPS]

- [SONG CONTINUES]
- [GRUNTS, PANTS]

[LAUGHS]

Ruby, get the piano!

[STRUMS]

[GRUNTS]

Sorry to keep harping on.

- [NOTES PLAY]
- [GRUNTS]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[PLUCKS NOTES]

No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

[SCREAMS]

No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no. [SCREAMS]

[DOCTOR SCREAMS]

[MAESTRO] You ain't no genius!

[GRUNTS]

- [SCREAMS]
- [DRUM SLURPS]

[DOCTOR SCREAMS]

[LENNON] I just wanna go home.

[RUBY] But you can't do that.
[CHUCKLES] We need ya.

[LENNON] What for?
I'm no good at anything.


- [HUMMING, VOCALISING, LAUGHING]
- ["DANSE MACABRE" PLAYING]

[RUBY GRUNTING]

- [RUBY GASPING]
- [MAESTRO LAUGHING]

I can't breathe!

[VOCALISING]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[LAUGHING]

[DOCTOR SHOUTS]

[MCCARTNEY] And then a second.

And a third and fourth and fifth.

And you put them together,

and it feels like the most
holy thing on this earth.


[CHORD PLAYS]

♪ No ♪

Oh, no! [WHIMPERS]

[YELPS]

- [PANTS, GASPS]
- [COUGHS]

No!

No!

- [RUBY COUGHS]
- [MAESTRO GROANS, WHIMPERS]

[STRAINING]

The one who waits is almost here!

[MUSIC ENDS]

[SIGHS]

- [DOCTOR SIGHS]
- [SIGHS]

- [CAR HORNS HONKING]
- [RUBY SHRIEKS]

[CHUCKLES] Listen.
Listen, listen, listen, listen.

["THE TEDDY BEARS' PICNIC" PLAYS]

- Here it comes.
- [RUBY GASPS]

- Everywhere! [LAUGHS]
- [BELLS PEELING]

♪ Music ♪

[OPERA SINGER] ♪ Figaro,
Figaro, Figaro, Figaro ♪


- [GERSHWIN'S "RHAPSODY IN BLUE" PLAYS]
- [LAUGHS]

They're making music. [SIGHS]

The whole city. The whole
world. [CHUCKLES]

- [INHALES SHARPLY]
- Yes. Yes. Yes.

But there is one thing that I
should warn you about, Ruby,

and this is really very serious.

With all my adventures
throughout time and space,

I have to tell you,

there's always a twist at the end.

[GERSHWIN'S "RHAPSODY IN BLUE" ENDS]

♪ There's always a twist
there's always a twist ♪


♪ There's always a twist at the end ♪

♪ There's always a twist
there's always a twist ♪


♪ There's always a twist at the end ♪

♪ My friend, depend
press send, let's bend ♪


♪ 'Cause there's always there's always ♪

♪ Yes, there's always
a twist at the end ♪


♪ Hey! Hey, hey! ♪

♪ We got the bop and the
rock and the Lindy Hop ♪


♪ We got the jive, beehive
and the "Stayin' Alive" ♪


♪ We got the conga and the salsa
and the mighty Big Bopper ♪


♪ The waltz and the schmaltz
and no penalties for faults ♪


[SHRIEKS]

♪ There's always a twist
there's always a twist ♪


♪ There's always a twist at the end ♪

♪ There's always a twist
there's always a twist ♪


♪ There's always a twist at the end ♪

♪ Pretend, descend, Land's End
make do and mend ♪


♪ 'Cause there's always there's always ♪

♪ Yes, there's always
a twist at the end ♪


- ♪ There's always a twist at the end ♪
- [VOCALISING]

- ♪ There's always a twist at the end ♪
- [VOCALISING]

♪ We ain't no fools from Liverpool ♪

♪ 'Cause there's always
a twist at the end ♪


♪ I always said that
it ends with a twist ♪


♪ That's one good thing
that can't be missed ♪


♪ Have a smashin' little dance
'cause we know what's best ♪


♪ 'Cause we're the smart girls
from the north-west ♪


♪ Always, there's always
there's always, there's always ♪


[SONG CONTINUES]

♪ Sing along if you've got a twist
sing along if you kiss the mist ♪


♪ There's a special little dance
you're on the list ♪


♪ There's always, always ♪

- ♪ Always a twist ♪
- ♪ Always, there's always ♪


♪ Always, there's always ♪

[VOCALISING]

♪ Always, there's always
there's always, there's always ♪


♪ Always, there's always
there's always, there's always ♪


♪ Always, there's always
there's always, there's always ♪


♪ There's always a twist at the end ♪

♪ I said, "There's always
a twist at the end" ♪


♪ What you intend I can't defend ♪

♪ I think this song will never end ♪

♪ 'Cause there's always ♪

♪ Always, always a twist at the end ♪

[CHEERING]

[CHEERING, HOOTING]

[BOTH EXHALE]

- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- [KEYBOARD NOTES PLAY]

[POP MUSIC PLAYING]

- [RUBY] Whew!
- [MUSIC STOPS]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[FINAL NOTES PLAY]

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

- [RUBY] Where are we?
- [DOCTOR] In the middle of a w*r.

One wrong move, and boom...

- [ALARM WAILING]
- [HEARTBEAT THUMPING]

- [SCREAMS]
- [RUBY] Doctor!
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