01x15 - There's a Fly in My Soup

[bunniefuu]

Woman: ♪ hey, now... ♪

♪ Hey, wow... ♪

♪ Here's how ♪

♪ Come and read ♪

♪ Between the lions ♪

Chorus: ♪ come on ♪

♪ Come in ♪

♪ Begin ♪

♪ The world awaits ♪

Woman: ♪ between the lions ♪

♪ Between the covers of a book ♪

♪ It's time to look between the lions ♪

♪ Behold the tales beyond the tails ♪

Chorus: ♪ behind the door ♪

♪ Become, explore ♪

♪ Come in between the lions ♪

♪ Begin between the lions ♪

♪ Be here between the lions! ♪

Kids:

( Beeping )

Click: data scanned into system.

Data scanned into system.

( Theo laughing )

Data scanned

Into system.

( Laughing uproariously )

What's so funny, dad?

Yeah, what are you reading?

( Laughing )

Oh...

The universal encyclopedia of fly jokes.

Fly jokes?

Oh, yes, leona.

This is what I mean when I always say

You have to read the classic fly jokes.

Does he always say that?

( Buzzing )

Fly: hey, guys... Fly jokes!

( Buzzing )

( Beeping )

Data scanned into system.

Oh, come on, click.

Let's stop working and have a laugh.

I do not laugh.

Oh, I'm sure you'll laugh at this.

Come on.

All right, here we go.

"A guy in a restaurant buys a bowl of soup.

He notices that there is a fly in it, and says..."

Customer:

Waiter:

Customer:

Waiter:

( Spitting )

( Theo laughing uproariously )

You get that, boy?

Theo: oh, that's rich.

Oh, click

Didn't you get it?

Certainly-- the waiter misunderstood the question

And gave an inappropriate answer.

Well, yes, but it's funny.

You're not laughing.

I told you--

I do not laugh.

Oh, you'll laugh at the next one.

It's a riot.

"A guy in a restaurant buys a bowl of soup.

He notices that there's a fly in it, and says..."

Customer:

Waiter:

Customer:

Waiter:

( Customers murmuring )

( Laughing heartily )

( Buzzing )

Flies: that was so funny.

Did you get it, click?

Another misunderstanding, correct?

Well, yes

But doesn't it make you want

To at least chuckle?

I am not programmed for laughter or chuckling.

Oh, let me read one, dad.

I could make click laugh.

Yeah, maybe it's in my delivery.

"A guy in a restaurant buys a bowl of soup.

He notices that there is a fly in it, and says..."

Customer:

Waiter:

Customer:

Waiter:

( Flies tittering )

( All but click laughing )

That was funny, mom.

"No room in the potato salad"!

Who writes

This stuff?

( Click still not laughing )

Oh, I am ruining your good time.

Perhaps I should exit.

Hmm... Maybe click just doesn't like fly jokes.

Yes, of course.

We all laugh at different things.

Yes!

Why, if we didn't

We'd only need one joke.

Which one?

Uh...

Click, we have all kinds

Of other funny books in the library.

I'm sure we can find one that tickles you.

Yeah, I know some that are a riot.

Come on.

Yes...

Cleo: to the humor section.

Onward.

Click, don't you worry.

Get ready to laugh, okay?

I cannot get ready to laugh.

I am not programmed for laughter.

( Flies buzzing )

Shoo!

Shoo, flies, shoo!

Shoo!

Announcer: and now, lovers of the vowels "a," "e," "i," "o," "u"

And sometimes "y"

The vowelles are in the house

To sing the "y" sound

From their hit word, "my."

( Singing repeated long "y" vowel sound to soul tune )

( Song ends; cheering and applause )

( Whistling )

Fr...

Fr... Fr... Fr...

Y.

Fr-y.

Fry, fry.

( Imitating sizzling sound )

Fry!

( Applause )

( Applause )

( Applause )

( Applause )

And now arty smartypants will read four words

Without any assistance whatsoever!

( Applause )

( Clearing throat )

Thank you.

And may I have a "build the excitement" drum roll, please?

( Drum roll, applause )

Thank you.

"My"...

"Shy"...

"Fly"...

"Butterfly."

"My," "shy," "fly" and "butterfly."

Thank you.

( Cheering and applause )

Oh, no.

( Crash )

Oh...

Oh...

Cry.

( Blowing nose )

And now, world-renowned mezzo soprano ms. Denyce graves

Will sing the sound of the letter "y"

In the word "butterfly."

( Singing "y" sound )

( Applause, enthusiastic cheering )

♪ Five little vowels... ♪

♪ A, e, i, o, u. ♪

♪ When you got a couple of consonants ♪

♪ Nothing else will do. ♪

♪ H-a-t, hat... ♪

♪ H-o-t, hot... ♪

♪ L-e-t, let... ♪

♪ L-i-t, lit... ♪

♪ I love 'em all a real lot ♪

♪ L-o-t, lot... ♪

♪ Oh, and sometimes "y" ♪

♪ "Y," don't you cry ♪

♪ You're not a full-time vowel, but don't throw in the towel ♪

♪ My little sometimes "y." ♪

♪ Five little vowels... ♪

♪ A, e, i, o, u... ♪

♪ When you want to spell "pit" ♪

♪ Or "pot" or "pet" ♪

♪ They're a dream come true. ♪

♪ Whether you spell "champ"... ♪

♪ Or whether you spell "chump" ♪

♪ The vowels are so much fun ♪

♪ F-u-n, fun ♪

♪ They make me want to jump ♪

♪ J-u-m-p, jump ♪

♪ Oh, and sometimes "y"... ♪

♪ "Y," though you try ♪

♪ You're not the same as the rest ♪

♪ But don't get depressed ♪

♪ My little sometimes "y"... ♪

♪ A, e, i, o, u... ♪

♪ My sometimes "y"... ♪

♪ A, e, i, o, u... ♪

♪ And sometimes "y"... ♪

♪ A, e, i, o, u... ♪

♪ My sometimes "y." ♪

( Buzzing )

And now, fun with chicken jane.

Today, "chicken jane

And the big flying duck."

Woman ( singing ):

( Squawks )

( Squawks )

( Squawks )

( Squawks pathetically )

Woman ( singing ):

( Squawks feebly )

Oh, click, click.

You're going to laugh this time.

I just know it.

Oh, thank you, leona.

I have never laughed before.

I tremble with anticipation.

Good evening.

( Cheering )

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen...

( Cheering )

Simians and insects

Welcome to "the humor section."

( Cheering )

Great crowd, great crowd.

Hey, where do you monkeys come from?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Trees.

Trees.

Trees.

Whoa!

So you must be the branch managers.

( Laughing )

Please try the bananas.

I'm here all week.

Okay, okay, settle down, settle down.

Put your paws and wings together

For the comedy stylings of dr. Nitwit...

Nitwhite: that's nitwhite.

Nitwhite and watson!

( Applause and cheering )

Thank you, thank you.

( Clearing throat )

Say, dr. Nitwhite...

Uh-huh?

What's the tallest building in the city?

I don't know, watson.

What is the tallest building in the city?

Oh, the library.

Er...

No, it's not.

Oh, yes, it is

Because it has the most stories.

( Laughing )

( Flies laughing )

Don't you get it, click?

Certainly.

It is a play on the two meanings

Of the word "stories"--

One, "a tale," and two

"The adjacent subdivisions of a building."

Keep going

Keep going.

Hmm?

Oh... Here's one.

Dr. Nitwhite.

Hm?

What's slimy, has red eyes

And 19 hairy legs?

I have absolutely no idea.

Neither do i, but there's one

Crawling on your neck.

( Screaming ): get it off, get it off!

( Laughing )

Does anyone have

The courage...?

It's a joke.

Calm down.

( Laughing )

( Flies laughing )

I knew that.

Hm... Interesting joke.

She's not laughing.

Uh-uh.

Well, okay.

Nitwhite: how was i, watson?

Watson: brilliant, dr. Nitwit.

Nitwhite: that's nitwhite!

( Laughing )

Right. Now those howl-arious comedy stylings

Two of the funniest parents I've ever known

Theo and cleo!

( Cheering and applause )

( Theo and cleo humming )

( Chuckles )

Oh, cleo...

Yes, theo?

( Gasps )

Uh, uh, uh...

( Whispers ): right there.

Ah, mmm...

"What is the best way

To pounce on a unique animal?"

You "neak" up on it!

( Laughter )

You "neak" up on it!

( Laughing )

Oh, perhaps I should leave.

Oh, no, no, don't leave, click.

You'll get the next one.

Do the next one!

Mmm, right.

Oh, cleo...

Yes, theo?

What?

Oh, right!

Uh... "What fur do you get from an angry rhinoceros?"

As "fur" away as you can get!

( Laughter )

( Laughter stops )

Huh? Huh?

( Flatly ): yuck. I am laughing.

Ha, ha?

( Sighs )

You're not really laughing, are you?

A pointing device cannot lie.

No, I am not laughing.

( Crying )

We didn't make her laugh; we made her cry.

Announcer: and now, lovers of the vowels "a," "e," "i," "o," "u"

And sometimes "y"

The vowelles are true and tried with the "y" sound

From their big hit word, "cry."

( Singing repeated long "i" sound to soul tune )

( Song ends; cheering and applause )

( Crowd cheering )

Excellent!

Gawain here once again at blending fields

Where two brave knights in armor

Will charge together at high speed and make a word.

Competing today, we have sir "cr"...

( Crowd cheers )

And on this side, sir "y."

( Cheering )

Blend on, dudes!

( Crowd cheering )

( Both crying )

Gawain: "cry"! Excellent!

That's gawain's word for today.

And this is gawain saying, try not to cry.

Because we'll see you next time on...

Fly... Fly!

( Giggles )

Watson, come quick!

And bring your pad and... Pencil.

Yes, dr. Nitwit.

That's nitwhite! Dr. Nitwhite!

Uh, yes, nitwhite.

Sorry! Sorry!

Write this down.

I, dr. Alexander graham nitwhite, have just discovered

The only word in the english language

That has the letter y "aye" sound at the end..

"Fly."

( Giggling ): fly!

( Laughing )

My, oh, my.

( Stops laughing )

Oh, why?

No, oh, no.

Oh, my.

( Crying ): why? Why?

Oh, don't cry.

It was a nice try, dr. Nitwit...

White.... White.

( Blubbering )

It's okay, it's all right.

( Whistling )

Fl... Fl... Fl

( Makes repeated "yeh" sound )

( Makes long "i" sound )

Fl...

( Makes long "i" sound )

Fly.

Fly.

( Buzzing like a fly )

( Thud )

( Playing blues tune )

♪ Woke up this morning ♪

♪ Wondering why ♪

♪ Y can sometimes sound like "yeh" ♪

♪ And sometimes "ee" or "aye" ♪

♪ Oh, my ♪

♪ I'm troubled by letter "y"... ♪

♪ "Y" has got three different sounds: ♪

♪ "Yeh," "ee" and "aye." ♪

♪ Well, the "y" in "lucky" sounds like "ee" ♪

♪ The "y" in sky says "aye" ♪

♪ The "y" in "yellow" sounds like "yeh" ♪

♪ Won't someone tell me why? ♪

♪ Oh, my ♪

♪ I'm troubled by letter "y" ♪

♪ It brings me grief. ♪

♪ "Y" has got three different sounds: ♪

♪ "Yeh," "ee" and "aye." ♪

♪ Well, "y" is the "ee" in "mucky" ♪

♪ "Y" is the "yeh" in "yes" ♪

♪ So why it sounds like "aye" in "cry" is hard for me to guess ♪

♪ Oh, my ♪

♪ You trouble me, letter "y" ♪

♪ Why you want to do that to me? ♪

♪ Why has got three different sounds: ♪

♪ "Yeh," "ee" and "aye." ♪

♪ The three sounds of "y." ♪

( Applause )

"Y," you're why I feel yucky!

( Laughing )

Oh, yeah.

( Playing final notes )

All right, let's find out who's who.

Here!

Who's here.

Yes!

What?

Here.

Who are you?

I'm what.

You're who?

No, I'm who.

Where?

Here.

Where are you?

Yes.

What?

That's me.

You're who?

No, I'm what; he's who.

Where?

I'm where; he's what.

And I'm who.

Oh, why me?

No, why me-- I'm why!

All right, so you're why

Mm-hmm.

You're who

You're where

And you're what.

All: right!

Fine... Now, when...

Here!

What?

No, I'm what.

( Groans )

( All laughing )

( Footsteps thumping )

( Sighs )

( Gasps )

Greetings!

Salutations!

Hola!

Hello!

Hi!

( Chuckles )

Heath the thesaurus here

With ten diminutive, small, short, itty-bitty

Little tiny words that pop up

In just about anything you want to read or write.

( Laughs )

( Music featuring saxophone playing )

( Singing )

♪ Ten small words got to learn by sight. ♪

♪ They're ten small words for to read and write ♪

♪ Golly, gee, here's "the" and "to" ♪

♪ Mercy, me, here's "a" and "you" ♪

♪ "In" is a winner anyone could love ♪

Hey!

♪ Tip your hat to "that" and "and" ♪

♪ "It" is a hit and "is" is grand ♪

♪ And there's no word I'm fonder of than "of" ♪

♪ Let me tell you now... ♪

♪ Read these words every chance you can, oh... ♪

♪ Ten small words, and I'm their biggest fan ♪

♪ Ten small words, and I'm their biggest fan. ♪

Yeah!

( Chuckling )

( Click weeping )

Oh, click, I'm sorry we couldn't make you laugh.

Oh, it is not your fault, leona.

My programming is defective.

( Crying )

( Gulps )

( Theo gasps )

She swallowed a fly!

Oh! Beep! Glug! Glug!

Oh!

Click, are you okay?

Theo: look! The fly is in her monitor!

Oh, what is that fly doing in my monitor?

It is a bug in my program.

A bug in my program?

( Fly buzzing )

( Laughing )

( Laughing )

Hey! She's laughing!

She's really laughing!

All: yes!

I made a joke and it is my own joke!

Oh, oh, wait!

I have another one.

What is that fly doing in my monitor?

Shh! All the computers will want to try one.

( Flies laughing )

Fly: I never heard these jokes before.

Fly: that mouse is a comic genius!

( Flies laughing )

( Laughing ): oh, wait...

What is that fly doing in my monitor?

There was no more room on my hard drive.

It's not that funny.

Click thinks it is.

Mom, you're right-- everybody laughs at different stuff.

Indeed they do.

( Click laughing, fly buzzing )

Hey, why is that fly in my monitor?

I guess my screen saver is a little buggy!

( Laughing )

Fly: more fly jokes, more fly jokes!

I got a million of them!

( Laughing )

Clay: hey, walter

What's that fly doing on buster's, uh, uh...

Head?

Yeah, head.

All right, stop with the fly jokes!

Buster, it's not a joke, there's a fly on your, uh,...

Head!

Yeah, your head.

( Laughs )

Uh, uh, get off!

Uh, excuse me, fly

It's my head and I do not want you to sit on it.

Shoo! Shoo!

( Blowing )

There are games and stories at the between the lions web site:



Cleo: reading to children every day creates warm family memories

And it helps them become better readers.

Help a child get wild about reading.

Be a designated reader.

Okay, mom.

( Both laughing )

Do your designated reader thing.

Okay.

♪ ♪ ♪



Chorus: ♪ between the lions... ♪

♪ Between the lions... ♪

Woman: ♪ come in between the lions ♪

♪ Begin between the lions ♪

♪ Be here between the lions! ♪