02x04 - The Book of Shadows

[bunniefuu]

[ Drums drumming]

By earth and air ♪

By fire and water ♪

So shall you hear our call ♪

[ Singing in foreign language]

♪♪

♪♪

Powers of birth and rebirth,

we call upon you

to cure the nagging cough

of our dear friend,

Reverend Mother Adrian.

I could never remember this bit.

Sources of life and light,

we invoke you ♪

[ Singing in foreign language]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

I've christened the sparrow

Mr. Truman.

I call all my waifs and strays

after American presidents.

First there was

Washington the hedgehog.

- Then

- Twas 'ere, Miss Thimble.

[ Screaming]

[ Bird squawking]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

I'm going to stick my neck out

and say this wasn't an accident.

♪♪

Our poor victim was a female,

between 30 and 50, I'd say.

Burnt to death.

Great Slaughter's

very own Joan of Arc.

Or Pamela Reeves.

No?

Agatha Christie's

"Body in the Library"?

Found in a charred vehicle,

but already dead

when the match was lit.

Which may be the case here, too,

by the way.

There's a Kn*fe wound

in the back of the neck.

From this, perhaps.

♪♪

An athame,

the traditional Kn*fe

of witchcraft.

You think Tom was right

then, Sister,

that this is the work

of of witches?

Well, the ritualised

human sacrifice,

the inverted pentacle, which is

a symbol of the devil,

voodoo doll.

Yes. This is straight out

of a black magic textbook.

♪♪

What's that?

♪♪

"Jackie."

If only all corpses

were so considerate.

My folks had a gardener 'round

a few weeks back.

Her name was Jackie.

Jackie Rice.

Thanks, Button.

Useful place to start.

♪♪

Sister?

♪♪

Oh, yes.

A silver chalice.

♪♪

Used for mixing potions

and remedies.

Yes. I'll check it

for useable fingerprints.

♪♪

Witches in Great Slaughter, eh?

Shouldn't be too hard to find.

Well, they won't be dressed

as in The Wizard of Oz, Sam.

They'll be doing their best to

look exactly like everyone else.

You mean there are

witches in our town

pretending to be real people?

♪♪

What sort of dancing, Tom?

I-I see. And how many of them?

Four of 'em. Witches

[ Babbling indistinctly]

White dresses? Are you sure?

[ Babbling indistinctly]

- What did he say?

- Apparently, they were trying

to cure

the Reverend Mother's cough.

What's wrong, Sister?

Well, white dresses,

a healing charm?

What Tom saw

were four white witches.

Wouldn't be seen dead

sacrificing humans,

if you'll pardon the pun.

How perplexing.

It's happening again!

- Oh, no.

- Where are they?

Where are the Satanists?

Let's not jump

to any rash conclusions,

now, Reverend Mother.

Rash conclusions?

A human being

has been sacrificed.

- [ Crowd murmuring]

- Well, according to Tom,

those Satanists were trying

to cure your cough.

My cough? Nonsense.

You did say it felt

a lot better this morning,

Reverend Mother.

15 years ago,

we found a witch

living in our midst,

and we banished her!

Ohh, absolutely.

[ Crowd murmurs]

Now those devil worshipers

are back.

- Oh.

- Sister Boniface,

I order you

to share their names,

that we might remove them

from the town!

[ Crowd shouting angrily]

Okay, quieten down.

Sister Boniface

will do no such thing.

Now, if you could leave

with your vigilante mob

so we can continue

with our investigation.

To dispel the devil, you must

first accept that he lives.

Hallelujah.

Maybe we should

leave them to it.

Reverend Mother.

Go, children, go.

Go.

I'm surprised

they didn't bring pitchforks.

This is definitely

Jackie Rice's house?

According to my dad.

Right.

[ Knock on door]

Jackie?

[ Knock on door]

[ Door opens]

It's open.

♪♪

Jackie Rice? It's the police.

♪♪

Pentacles,

wand, and a broomstick.

Something tells me

we're in the right place.

Well done, Button.

[ Object clatters]

♪♪

♪♪

Come here.

Right.

Got her.

Miss Hartwood?

Hello, Peggy.

M-Miss Hartwood's

my old dinner lady.

Right. Well, I want to know

what you're doing here.

Well, I believe she's trying

to protect Jackie Rice.

Witch tradition has it

that when a member of the coven

dies suddenly,

one of their fellow witches

must burn all evidence

of them being a witch.

So you're a witch, as well.

We're going to turn over

your house anyway,

Miss Hartwood, so?

Yes, alright, I'm a witch.

Gosh. That sounds strange.

But, Miss

You made the best

apple crumble ever.

I still do, Peggy.

How did you know

that Jackie was dead?

I was at last night's Sabbat.

I waited for Eliza afterwards

at the crossroads nearby.

I wanted to ask her

something about gardening.

Who's Eliza?

Jackie. Eliza's

her witch name.

Mine's Hyacinth.

Go on.

Glinda and Jocasta had gone.

When Eliza didn't come,

I went back to the clearing.

I saw the fire.

The mask and the earrings

and the locket.

I knew it was Jackie.

I didn't know what to do.

I've been up all night.

Was there any conflict

in the group last night?

There was one moment.

You alright, Hyacinth?

♪♪

Sisters, there's something

I-I need to share with you.

I, erm

I arrived here early

this evening

to find Glinda

putting a curse on me.

- What?

- Why on earth would she do that?

I think she's worried that

I want to take over the coven,

but I honestly don't. And

The thing is, I think

it was a dark moon curse.

But isn't that a death spell?

You must have misheard.

Glinda is the whitest

witch in England.

Yeah, I know she is.

Okay.

This one is for Joe the postman.

Poor man's hurt his back.

♪♪

Had you noticed tension

between those two before?

No,

although Eliza once told me

she thought Glinda hated her.

So, Glinda, Jocasta,

what are their real names?

No, I've said too much already.

Miss Hartwood,

protecting the identity

of a suspected m*rder*r

is an offence.

But neither of them

are murderers.

Well, we'll be

the judge of that.

An oath is an oath, Sam.

♪♪

So, the blood found next

to the corpse is B-negative,

the same type as Jackie Rice.

Isn't that a rare one?

Found in only 2%

of the population.

Jolly helpful.

Her dental records

will confirm the identification.

- And cause of death?

- I believe Jackie d*ed

from a single s*ab to the neck

with the athame Kn*fe

and was already dead by the time

the flames touched her body.

Thank the Lord.

[ Bell tolling]

Strange. Prayers aren't

for another hour.

♪♪

♪♪

We learnt from the Tituba

incident 15 years ago

that Satanists

look just like us.

So I tell you this.

Trust no one.

Suspect everyone.

[ All murmuring]

Do you think there could be

a witch with us right now?

Quiet, please.

♪♪

♪♪

It's a challenge, certainly.

My good friend Betty Jessop

showed great courage

in unmasking Tituba

all those years ago.

So now we must identify

the witches Tom saw

and banish them

from Great Slaughter!

[ All murmuring]

Mrs. Ape, who lives off

the high street,

I reckon she's a witch.

What makes you say that?

Well, she's got four cats,

and she talks to herself.

Thank you, Dottie. We'll

certainly keep an eye on her

I don't trust

Miss Ogley, either.

Her skin is terrible,

and she's always

lighting bonfires.

Another helpful suggestion.

Erm, might this be

a good time to point out

the historical overlaps between

witchcraft and Catholicism?

For example, coven

comes from the word convent.

Thank you, Sister Boniface!

Reverend Mother, there's

something you should see.

♪♪

[ All whispering indistinctly]

♪♪

Well

♪♪

Oh, gosh.

♪♪

Sister Reginald,

you will organise

a round-the-clock vigilance

of all the entrances

to the convent.

Let no one in.

Sister Peter, follow the police.

Report back

on anything you find.

- Understood?

- Yes, Reverend Mother.

♪♪

[ Bird cawing]

♪♪

"The Satanist Tituba

was unmasked

thanks to the discovery

of her Book of Shadows

by local nurse Betty Jessop

on a house visit.

This book is now

in the possession of the Bugle."

- Crikey.

- What's a Book of Shadows?

Erm, a witch's diary.

A repository full of her charms,

spells, and potions.

Losing that would have been

like losing a limb for Tituba.

"Reverend Mother Adrian

has insisted

Tituba and her daughter be

banished from Great Slaughter."

They said it was official

police business. I'm sorry.

[ Sighs] What do we say?

Norman Whalley by name,

Wally by nature,

We are a free press, Norman,

not the servants

of the ruddy police!

Now watch and learn.

I think you must have me

confused with my predecessor.

All reviews to see the archives

go through me,

not the office monkey.

Mr. Rugg. Just the man.

What happened to Tituba's

Book of Shadows?

Why don't you ask your boss?

Reverend Mother Adrian?

After we published excerpts,

she accused us

of proselytising Satanism.

Whipped up local feeling to

the point we agreed to burn it.

And did you?

A ritual book burning

made a much better story.

We even let the Reverend Mother

light the match.

Do you mind

if we hold onto these?

Yes.

Well, we'll be confiscating it

as evidence.

Thank you for your assistance.

I-I'll see you around, Peggy?

♪♪

Norman!

[ Door slams]

This nurse Betty Jessop did

a pretty good job of snooping,

by the sounds of it.

Betty's no snoop.

She's a good friend

of Reverend Mother

and a regular dinner guest here.

Well, maybe Tituba really

has come back for revenge.

Maybe.

Having her Book of Shadows

made public

would have been

a huge humiliation for Tituba.

Where do banished witches go,

I wonder?

I have no idea.

But I have found a couple of

unusual friends on this chalice.

Micrococcus luteus

and Pseudomonas aeruginos.

[ Chuckles]

Sounds like a pair

of Roman gladiators.

They're unusual bacteria

typically found

in a hospital environment.

From a nurse, perhaps.

Gosh.

Someone's left in a hurry.

There was no toothbrush

in her toilet.

Look at this.

Good Lord.

Either Betty Jessop

was a witch, or

she's very much into Halloween.

Oh, Sam, look at this.

Glinda.

Looks like Lucy's moved out.

Probably because she found out

her mother was a witch.

Oh, no.

Oh, poor Lucy.

She was in my class at school.

What's Reverend Mother

going to say when she finds out?

I don't know. But please, can I

be there when you let her know?

I have to say, the

craftsmanship on these things

is outstanding.

♪♪

[ Birds singing]

What is it, Sister?

Well, Heather Hartwood

described Glinda

as the whitest witch

in the country.

And everything in that chest

points to white witchcraft.

So why would she sadistically

m*rder a fellow witch?

Maybe Tituba has taken over

Betty Jessop and corrupted her.

You sure the Reverend Mother

hasn't taken you over, Button?

Felix?

You alright?

These flowers,

they're so beautiful.

You know?

Ah, and that bird song.

It's easy to forget when

you're investigating a m*rder,

but, you know,

isn't life wonderful?

Mm.

I'll, er, try

and track down Lucy.

See if she knows

where her mum is.

Good idea.

Er, but keep it

on the Q.T., eh?

We don't want anyone

in the village to find out

that Betty Jessop

is our prime suspect.

♪♪

Well, Betty Jessop

couldn't drive,

and there are no sightings of

her at the train or bus station.

I've got a team out

looking locally for her.

Ah. Care to enlighten me,

Sister?

Oh, enlighten, yes.

Very good, Sam.

I examined the letters

Heather Hartwood was holding

and found an unexpected guest.

Citric acid in the form

of lemon juice.

Invisible ink.

Bingo.

You wonder, Sister.

"You are the best thing

that has ever happened to me.

I've read your last letter

a hundred times,

and I can't stop smiling."

Heather and Jackie

were together.

Jolly happy, too,

by the sounds of it.

Mm.

Oh, no.

"How could you abandon me?

I still love you,

but now when I see you,

I hate you, too."

Jackie broke

poor Heather's heart.

How terribly sad.

But looking on the bright side,

we now have another suspect.

I never met anyone like Jackie.

How lovely.

I want to show you

something, actually.

So, I've been working

'round here.

And this is the bee orchid.

It's so cunning.

It imitates a female bee,

lures lovesick male bees

onto its petals.

It's very clever.

♪♪

Then one day, she stopped it.

No explanation. No apology.

You must have been devastated.

Is that why you k*lled Jackie?

To avenge her rejection of you?

No!

You know, hurting people,

it isn't

It's why I like

being a white witch.

All the kindness.

We know that Glinda

is Betty Jessop.

You and Betty are

the only suspects in this m*rder

unless you tell us

the name of the fourth witch.

Sam.

An oath is an oath.

[ Shouting indistinctly]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Bird cawing]

♪♪

[ Frog croaking]

Sir?

Ah, Button,

what have you got for me?

Lucy Jessop's

still in Great Slaughter.

- I've got an address.

- Ah, excellent.

Let's go and pay

your schoolmate a visit,

see if she knows

where her mother is.

[ Indistinct conversations]

What's that?

Miss Thimble's cakes don't

usually generate a frenzy.

[ Indistinct conversations]

♪♪

What's going on?

♪♪

Everything alright?

Lordy! Miss Thimble

into a little frog!

You're saying

that is Miss Thimble?

- Oh.

- Oh! Oh, poor Dottie.

It's nonsense.

Dottie's just gone off somewhere

without telling him

where she was going.

[ Babbling indistinctly]

Where is she?

Let me through!

[ Grunting]

Miss Thimble, I order you

to tell us who did this to you.

Lord.

If the witch is here,

can you maybe point at them?

Dottie has not

been turned into a frog.

Tituba?

Tituba? Are you in there?

Oh, you've all lost your minds!

Poor Mrs. Clam.

Something weird's going on, sir.

Look at what's happening

to Sergeant Livingston.

Felix's good mood

is certainly unnerving.

Guess when it started?

When you put that photo

of Tituba in his pocket.

Did you find anything out

from the police investigation,

Sister Peter?

Nothing at all yet,

Reverend Mother.

This is crazy.

Peggy, you know my mum.

Does she seem to you

like a witch and a m*rder*r?

She's always been

very kind to me.

Lucy, this wax on your shoes,

where did you get it?

- No idea.

- The thing is, it matches wax

from the candles

at the crime scene.

Matching up these soil fragments

will confirm things, of course.

Or you could start telling us

the truth, Lucy.

For your sake and your mother's.

Life in this place

won't be worth living.

We will be discreet.

You have our word.

My mother initiated me

into the coven when I was 12.

And yes, I was at

the Sabbat last night.

So you and your

mother are close?

We were.

But we had an argument

a week ago.

I told her I wanted to leave the

sisterhood, try other things.

Last night was the first time

we'd spoken since.

♪♪

I'm going to the new forest

for a few days

to make peace

with your decision.

- Okay.

- Sorry to interrupt you, ladies.

Betty, can I have a word?

Of course.

I'll come see your new place

when I get back.

♪♪

♪♪

Is this where you think your

mother is, in the new forest?

She made that same trip

a few years ago,

after my father d*ed.

According to Heather Hartwood,

your mother

put a fatal curse on Jackie.

She stayed behind

with Jackie last night,

and now Jackie's dead.

My mother would

never hurt anyone.

Which would mean either you

or Heather k*lled Jackie.

Unless you believe Tituba

really did come back

to Great Slaughter.

Peggy, Sister, I want you

to search this room.

♪♪

- [ Laughs]

- I can't tell Reverend Mother.

What can't you tell me,

Sister Peter?

[ Bell tolling]

The police suspect

that Betty Jessop

is one of the witches

and quite possibly the k*ller.

Betty? Don't be absurd.

Do they honestly think that I

would have a witch as a friend

- and not realise?

- But, Reverend Mother,

earlier you said you can never

tell who the Satanists are.

Suspect everyone. Trust no one.

Yes, but Betty is

a close, personal friend,

a regular visitor here.

I mean, if she's a Satanist,

well, then

♪♪

♪♪

Give that back.

♪♪

A Book of Shadows,

with the seal of Lucifer.

"Private. Read

and be cursed for eternity.

Signed, Tituba, May 1928."

Clem burnt that.

Who gave you this, Lucy?

I have no idea.

Three months ago, I found it

in the basket of my bike

on the high street.

But whoever put it there,

I'm so grateful.

Why?

Well, it's a damn sight

more interesting

than my Book of Shadows.

I tried out a light hex

on my mum.

- What happened?

- Oh, she tripped over

and smashed

her favourite teapot.

It was exciting.

Did you try anything else?

This, for example?

No. Look, I just wanted

a bit of fun.

♪♪

Maybe Tituba made two copies.

Witches only ever keep

one Book of Shadows.

[ Sighs]

What are all these signs

and squiggles?

Oh, it's Thelemin,

a symbol-based language

of the occult.

I can't claim more than

a working knowledge.

Well, while you work

on your fluency, Sister,

circumstantial evidence

favours Betty Jessop.

But even if Jackie

was threatening her position,

would she really

have m*rder*d her for that?

The daughter Lucy

had a black magic streak

and a human sacrifice

instruction manual

but no motive as yet.

Heather, on the other hand,

had a strong motive

in heartbreak,

but she wouldn't say boo

to a goose,

let alone barbecue someone.

Oh. Reverend Mother.

Is it true, Sister?

Is Betty Jessop a witch?

Aah!

No! No, no, no, no.

It's not possible!

I saw you burnt!

Get that apparition

from the convent.

That's an order, Sister!

♪♪

Can't explain it. Sorry.

I can.

- Shut up, Norman.

- We've got to tell them

- the truth, Clem.

- I'm warning you.

Three months ago,

there was a break-in overnight.

I was the first in the next

morning, and only one folder

- had been touched.

- The Tituba folder?

A copy of the front-page

article had been taken from it,

and, er

And the contents of

this envelope.

"B-O-S."

The Book of Shadows.

Alright.

I held onto the book

because it was dynamite.

I decided to bide my time

until I could publish it.

And I burnt an identical-looking

black book

in front of the Reverend Mother.

Then I hid the original

in that folder

Clem made me promise

to keep quiet.

That's why I didn't report

the break-in.

Because I didn't want

to cause panic.

You've seen what the locals

are like about this stuff.

Thank you for

your honesty, Norman.

It's a heartwarming reminder

that people are

fundamentally decent.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

So who stole it from the Bugle,

Betty, Lucy, or Heather?

Well, none of them.

Thanks to clever,

old dactyloscopy,

I've matched a fingerprint

from this envelope

with the victim.

Jackie Rice stole it?

Hyoscyamus niger.

Datura stramonium.

Salvia rosmarinus.

That's rosemary to you and me.

Sister, stimulating

as this botany lesson is

Aconitum napellus.

Now, you're a nasty,

little thing, aren't you?

Look at your neighbours.

Belladonna.

Hellebore.

What an unfriendly lot.

Why did Jackie want you around,

I wonder?

What's that?

♪♪

"Do what thou wilt."

Engraved with the seal of Satan.

Well, that settles it.

Jackie Rice practised

black magic.

♪♪

But why would Tituba join

a white witch coven?

Same reason a fox enters

a hen house to wreak havoc.

And a jolly good job

she was doing.

She'd broken Heather's heart,

led Lucy astray.

That's it.

That's our motivation.

Betty had found another Tituba,

but this one was corrupting

her daughter.

Betty couldn't take any chances,

so she had to die.

What was the quote

that was on the chest?

"All is permissible

when done out of love."

Tom found Betty's bag.

She's in the woods.

♪♪

Mother of us all,

gather us in your arms.

Give us comfort in the loss

of our sister, Eliza.

Witches!

We were looking

for Betty Jessop,

but Tom's stick led us to you!

Well, that, and this being

the same place you met before!

Shh!

In the name of our Lord,

I order you witches

to reveal yourselves.

Please?

♪♪

Heather Hartwood. Good Lord!

Lucy, my poor child,

corrupted by her Satanic mother!

You're wrong, Reverend Mother.

I'm the only evil one

in my family.

You turn that frog

back into Miss Thimble!

I'm ordering you now!

[ Shouting indistinctly]

We don't turn people into frogs.

You cured

Reverend Mother's cough.

Who knows what else you can do.

They did not cure my cough!

Where is Miss Thimble?

I'm here, Reverend Mother.

Where the hell ha' you been ta?

I been worried about you!

I thought you been

turned into a frog!

[ Shouting indistinctly]

I thought we'd lost you forever!

[ Sobbing]

I took Mr. Truman to the vet

in Cirencester.

The good news is

he's going to be alright.

[ Frog croaks]

General Eisenhower,

what are you doing here?

He's been coming into my cafe.

Funny chap.

He's got a thing

for Victoria sponge.

Told you!

[ Drum drumming]

Betty.

We've got her at last.

Come on, Sister Peter.

♪♪

♪♪

My, my.

What is it, Sister?

Well, Peggy, our corpse

still has its appendix.

But Jackie Rice had hers removed

19 years ago.

She grew it back?

Now, that really is magic.

Hang on.

More likely I've been fooled.

Betty Jessop still

had her appendix. It fits.

But where's the motive?

♪♪

"Be brave. Love carnage.

My darling

daughter of Satan, Eliza."

♪♪

Oh, golly.

♪♪

The body in the fire,

it's Betty Jessop.

m*rder*d in an act of revenge

by Jackie, Tituba's daughter.

Who then framed Betty

for her own m*rder.

Brilliant, Sister, obviously.

Just one question.

Why has Jackie lingered

in Great Slaughter?

Because she hasn't finished

her revenge mission.

What, so who's

her next victim, Lucy?

No, er, the only

other person she blames

for her mother being punished

is, erm

Oh, heavens above.

Shouldn't we head back

to the others, Reverend Mother?

Nonsense!

♪♪

[ Shrieks]

[ Crying]

I can't do this!

Coward!

♪♪

[ Birds cawing]

♪♪

Tituba was my mother.

And this was her concoction.

She called it

The Python's Embrace.

She never recovered

from the humiliation

of what you and Betty Jarvis

did to her.

She d*ed six months ago.

But you've got about an hour

to think about that

before she suffocates you.

♪♪

[ Gasping]

♪♪

♪♪

Find Reverend Mother! Quick!

Erm

♪♪

[ Wheezing]

♪♪

Reverend Mother!

♪♪

Oh, what's happened to you?

I believe she's been poisoned.

The Python's Embrace.

I have one hour.

Erm okay.

Python's Embrace.

Python's Embrace.

Python's Embrace.

Erm, Python's Embrace.

Ah, yes.

Erm, right.

Erm, I can picture an antidote,

but time is short,

and the recipe is long.

Erm, Peggy, take Reverend Mother

back to the convent.

Put her in bed

and stay with her.

Right, Sister.

Felix, let's go gardening.

[ Bird cawing]

Quickly.

♪♪

Mother would never tell me

what happened to her

in Great Slaughter.

All I knew was that two women

had ruined her life.

So after she d*ed,

I came here to find out.

I dropped into the newspaper

office, and I read the story

of how Glinda

and that nun humiliated her.

So I joined Glinda's coven.

Tearing Hyacinth's heart in two.

Pouring evil into Jocasta's

innocent mind

through her mother's diary.

Both delicious.

But k*lling Glinda was the most

perfect moment of my life.

So what's on your mind, Eliza?

In the name of Tituba,

I summon the spirits

of darkness and vengeance!

♪♪

All that pain

that my mother had felt

passed through me

and into Glinda's neck.

And I felt purged.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Breathing heavily]

♪♪

♪♪

So I went back to hers,

packed back for her retreat,

and headed to the woods.

You must have known

you couldn't trick us forever.

All I needed was time

to poison that nun.

And then I'd rejoin

my old coven in Exmoor.

Best laid plans, eh?

My only regret is that

it's unlikely I'll be hanged.

I am ready to join

the next life.

♪♪

[ Wheezing]

Less than five minutes to go.

Come on, Sister.

Here's another cold flannel

for you, Reverend Mother.

[ Wheezing]

♪♪

Oh, oh, thank the Lord.

This should do the trick,

Reverend Mother.

Drink it all up, please.

And the leaves.

That's it.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Sighing]

Thank you.

♪♪

[ Sighs]

[ Indistinct whispering]

♪♪

♪♪

I'm going to carry on

my mum's work.

Protect the sisterhood against

the thr*at of black witchcraft.

I'm pleased.

And will you stay

in Great Slaughter?

This town is no place

for an outed witch.

I am very sorry

to hear about your mother.

She was always extremely fond

of you, Reverend Mother.

I shall keep a place

in my heart for her.

At least the Reverend Mother

now understands

that not all witches

are the same.

See them both swiftly

off the premises.

Maybe not.

[ Chuckles]

♪♪

I'm going to eat your cake

in a minute, Felix.

Have it. I don't care.

I know what's happened.

Now that he's burnt

that photo of Tituba,

the curse of happiness

has been lifted from him.

What, and now he's back

to his old, gloomy self?

That is a good theory, Button.

Nonsense, but I like it.

Do you want to know

why I was so happy?

Two days ago, I received

this letter from Victoria

announcing that she'll be

coming to England next month.

- Oh, how wonderful.

- Mm.

So why the long face now?

Well, this morning, I received

a second letter from Victoria

informing me that due to her

auntie falling sick in Tobago,

she has had to put

her plans on hold

indefinitely.

Oh, no.

I'm starting to wonder if

she'll ever make it to England.

Well, I'm sorry

to hear that, Felix.

It's good

to have you back, though.

There you go, General.

Go and inspect your troops.

Toodle-pip!

[ Frog croaks]

I still can't believe

people thought I'd been

changed into a frog.

[ Babbling indistinctly]

[ Chuckles]

[ Frog croaks]

♪♪