For Sale (2024)

Horror, Scary, Halloween Movie Collection.

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Horror, Scary, Halloween Movie Collection.
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For Sale (2024)

Post by bunniefuu »

Everyone longs

For a home of their own

What a heaven

on earth it would be

Many may sigh

for castles of stone

Still there's only

one love nest for me

Just a little white house

With the little green blinds

At the end of Honeymoon Lane

Just a little white gate

At the end

Of Honeymoon Lane

[eerie rock music playing]

[phone ringing]

- [Mr. Hill] Hello?

- [Mason] Mr. Hill.

How are we doing today?

[Mr. Hill] Okay

until you called.

[Mason] Listen, I know you

have some minor concerns

about the '07 that

you saw the other day,

but trust me, nothing

to worry about.

I've even had the GM

himself vouch for this.

[Mr. Hill] I think it's

more the fact that Jerry

has the same model

for three grand less.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Trust me, you don't

want to go to Jerry's.

You know how much

their processing fee is?

It's quite... no, it's three

times as much as ours.

[Mr. Hill] Well, I

don't know about that,

but the price is still lower.

[Mason] They keep

their prices so low

so they can take

advantage of you

on the other charges.

Not just the processing fee,

aftermarket, finance upselling.

Look, we don't do that here.

Everyone on my sales team

takes integrity very seriously.

[Mr. Hill] And you can vouch

that this wasn't in an accident?

[Mason] I'm looking at

the paperwork right now.

[Mason sighs]

[Mr. Hill] Let me check if I

have an open day this week.

[Mason] No, no, no, just come

in today on your lunch break.

It's very casual,

no commitments.

[Mr. Hill] Okay, okay.

I guess I could

stop by around one?

Wonderful.

Looking forward to it.

Wish me luck.

Uh, aren't you

forgetting something?

Destroying the hard copy.

That's what I got you for.

- No, what about tonight?

- Yeah, don't worry about it.

I won't be home

late. I'll call you.

So you wouldn't believe

how this bad boy got to us.

I mean, every lot in

town was fighting for it,

just for the trade.

It was used in

movies. Bollywood.

I'm not big into movies.

Well, the next owner, I mean,

he had this thing

really souped up.

Cat-Back exhaust.

Custom cylinder heads.

- I mean, we're talking...

- Look, Jason.

Mason.

Mason, it's not for

me. I don't drive.

It's a graduation

gift for my son.

Oh. Well, it's still good

information to have.

Look, the price. I'm

glad that you matched it.

But Jerry is saying

his VIN report is clean,

and this one is damaged.

Way ahead of you.

I did some digging, and I

found the original paperwork.

So whatever you saw

was probably just a mistake.

[engine revs up]

M-A-S-O-N,

I don't know how you do it.

Mason.

- You look happy.

- [Mason chuckles]

Another satisfied customer,

and somewhere one

more angel loses its wings.

Well, I hope the

brakes hold up. [sighs]

I got a call today.

You delivered

two vans last week.

Yeah, the two

12-passengers. You know.

Uh, I know they were

supposed to be wholesaled.

Yeah, but those

governmental types,

they always overpay.

You see the gross on it?

Mason, you sold two

junkyard pieces of shit

as accessible rides

for the city's disabled

workforce fleet.

Sounds like you plagiarized

that from an official letter.

They're threatening

to shut me down.

Hey, i... it'll blow

over. It always does.

Mason.

In the past,

I've been able to

overlook your shenanigans.

But lately you've been

making it very difficult.

And now this.

I can't do it.

Boss, I can sell anything.

Isn't that what you want?

That's what I am here for.

Mason, I'm sorry.

I don't see any

way out of this one.

Someone's head's got to roll,

and it ain't gonna be mine.

["Happy on My Own"

by Kyle Cox playing]

I'm happy on my own

Making coffee just for one

And eating

breakfast all alone

Fewer dishes to be done

[car horn honks]

I'm never running behind

[door creaks open]

You're never on my mind

No longer there to

make me comb my hair

Hey, babe. What

you doing over there?

What day is it, Mason?

Tuesday?

Oh, just an average Tuesday?

Not our anniversary at all, huh?

Oh, no. Uh, yes.

I... I called Gino's,

but they didn't have

a table available.

So I was just

gonna defer to you...

Oh, f*ck you, Mason.

You know, your

bullshittery might work

on your dumbass customers,

but I see right through you.

- No, babe...

- Don't "babe" me.

Come on, I had a hell of a day.

You and all your excuses.

- It never ends.

- No, but this is a good one.

Oh, a good one.

That'll be the day.

And by the way, how

drunk are you right now?

Wait, just listen. [sighs]

I... I... I'm sorry,

Alison, but I...

I kinda sorta lost my job today.

You lost your job?

[sighs] Yeah.

You're joking. How?

I lost it.

So what, you were

standing around

and all of a sudden it was

like, "Hey, where'd my job go?"

Well, look, it wasn't

exactly like I...

"I could have sworn I had

my job right here in my pocket."

Well, if I could just

explain myself...

"Hey, I've got an idea.

Let's go on a scavenger

hunt for your job."

- No, please.

- "Hello, job, you in there?"

Come on, this isn't helping.

No, wait, maybe there's

a job inside this one.

Alison!

Look, do you still

want to go to Gino's?

Maybe we can get

mozzarella sticks.

[hiccups]

[sighs]

Fine.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, let's go.

You sure? Should I change?

No, let's go. Just like this.

Okay.

Hey, maybe you should

actually drive, you know?

[door clicks closed]

Come on, Alison.

You... you're not

kicking me out, are you?

Where am I supposed to go?

You can talk your

way out of anything.

You'll figure it out.

Wh... what about

all of my stuff?

No, don't do that.

No, come on. What...

Come on, Alison.

Wha... No, those are nice suits.

Get the f*ck off my

property, and out of my life.

Alison.

Alison!

[somber jazz music playing]

[crickets chirping]

[sighs]

[whimsical music playing]

[phone ringing]

- [David] Hello?

- Hey, Brian, how are...

- [David] It's David.

- David.

[chuckles] My... my bad.

My contacts, man,

they're really messed up.

Uh, anyway, long time no speak.

Hey, listen, I have a

really big favor to ask.

I was wondering if

you might have a couch

that I could crash on

for a few days because...

[phone clicks]

Oh, no, that's fine.

That's fine, yeah,

take care. No worries.

Hi, saw you're looking

for a sales expert.

- [woman] Thank you.

- [Mason laughs]

Absolutely, I can sell anything.

What is it that you guys...

[woman] We sell

decorative paper.

- Decorative paper?

- [woman] That's right.

Yeah, f*ck it, I can...

Uh, just tell me

when to come in.

[woman] Unpaid internship.

- I'm sorry, what?

- [woman] Unpaid.

Unpaid internship.

- Hello, Jordan?

- [Jordan] Hey.

- Hello. How you doing?

- Hey.

How are... Uh,

yeah, I'm... I'm great.

Um, actually, I'm not great.

Listen, Alison...

Alison kicked me out again.

This time for good, I think.

- [Jordan] Oh, yeah, I get it.

- Yeah, yeah.

Uh, and I was wondering if

you had a couch or something

that I might be able to

crash on for a few days.

That would really be helpful.

Jordan?

Hello, Jordan?

m*therf*cking God, bitch,

son of a f*cking

whore, piece of shit!

[birds chirping]

[whimsical music playing]

[quiet hum of distant chatter]

[sighing and grunts]

Mint?

Sure.

[Mr. Bendt] "McGinness, Mr."

Do you like money,

McGinness, Mr.?

Has anyone in this chair

ever told you otherwise?

There have been more

than a few in that chair.

Better wash those pants.

Mr. Bendt, with all due respect,

I've been in sales

for a long time.

I know how this works.

Power in numbers,

survival of the fittest.

What is your deepest fear?

I don't know. I... I'd

have to think about it.

Mine? Dying alone.

But then I always keep a roll

of hundreds in bed by my side.

Also, spiders.

Trust me, I don't need

the extra motivation.

Well, a self-motivated fella.

I have agents in this office

looking to take on as

much inventory as they can.

But that's not how

you'll succeed here.

You need the right property,

and I need the right man.

- You sold real estate before?

- Briefly.

I... I sold condos

for about ten years

before I got into selling cars.

You're a buyer's agent.

I need a seller's agent.

Mr. Bendt,

I've pretty much

sold everything,

and believe me, I'm

up to the challenge.

- [phone beeps]

- Cindy, hold all my calls.

Well, McGinness...

you just might be in luck.

I have some of the most

unsellable properties

in this state.

One of 'em, the

foundation's being rebuilt.

It sank.

Morons built it on

a f*cking swamp.

The other one...

this one...

well, it has a history

that turns people off.

What kind of history?

Oh, you know, people talk.

Had it so long, I own the deed.

Can't even give away

any of the furniture.

Furniture? Like, a bed?

[Mr. Bendt chuckles]

You can't even give away

any of the old lady's stuff.

It's money going

down the shitter.

What's the offer?

[sighs] For that one...

35%.

Shit.

Full partner.

You see, I'm serious here.

I don't want to have

anything to do with that place.

I want it gone yesterday.

Well, you could always just

burn it to the ground, right?

Well, I'm not sure.

But given your enthusiasm,

you just might be

the man for the job.

[Mr. Bendt sighs]

All right, McGinness,

we'll give it a shot.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you so much.

Um, I can get started today,

uh, get a feel for the place,

the layout, uh,

sleeping quarters.

I'll have Cindy set you up with

the paperwork and the keys.

Thank you. I won't let you down.

[Mr. Bendt] Hey.

You never told

me your worst fear.

Failure.

[chuckles]

I think in time,

you're gonna be a little

more imaginative than that.

[energetic music playing]

[birds chirping]

Jeez, no wonder no one's buying.

[eerie music playing]

[door creaking]

[low droning]

[floor creaking]

[sighs]

[door creaking]

[tense music building]

[doorknob creaking]

[tense music building]

[angelic music playing]

[exhales deeply] Oh, yeah.

We can work with this.

One, two, three, four

["Blow off Some Steam"

by Ben Bostick playing]

Well, I've been

holding it in

Since I clocked

in Monday morning

Come the end of the

week I'm about to blow

We walk into the h*nky-tonk

like a pack of wolves now

Order up a round of

sh*ts and it's away we go

It's a throwdown

hoedown get down

Order up another

round of sh*ts

Gonna get drunk,

get some, have fun

Get into some trouble,

baby, like it or not

I'm a Jim Beam-drinking,

paycheck slinging

La-la-line dancing machine

It's been a helluva week

And I need to

blow off some steam

Guitar

[camera shutter clicking]

[camera shutter clicking]

Gotta blow off some steam

Perfect.

B-b-blow

Hello?

[gas hissing]

[blows raspberry]

[metal thudding]

[sniffing]

Oh, shit.

[groans in pain]

f*ck. [exhales sharply]

[groaning in pain]

[sizzling]

[sighs]

Hmm.

World's most powerful oven.

I'll be sure to include that.

[crickets chirping]

[water trickling]

[Mason groans]

Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.

[electric buzzing]

Hello?

[scoffs] Bad wiring, too?

"Beautiful country..."

No. No.

"Rustic home..."

"Idyllic abode,

will turn heads.

Will take your breath away."

It sounds like you're

selling a damn car.

"Beautiful, idyllic abode...

will remind you

of what the good

life is supposed to be.

A house is more than a home,

it's a place where

we raise our families.

We start with

the center of it all,

mom, whose warm

essence is a calm reminder

that everything

will be all right.

And then there's dad, a beacon

who will always,

always be there.

And the children...

oh, the children,

the siblings you can

forever depend on.

A connection for which

friendship is no substitute.

When we think of a

house, we think of love.

And when I think

of you in this house,

what I see above all else

is that feeling right here.

You know it when you see it.

And I look at you and I see it.

You in this home.

So eat my f*cking ass,

and let's party up this bitch."

[eerie music playing]

[sighing deeply]

Sometimes I can't

believe my own luck.

[crickets chirping]

[door creaking]

[sniffles]

[light switch clicking]

[groans]

[sighs]

[rustling noises]

[tense music building]

[paper rustling]

Who's there?



[music intensifies]

[music distorts]

[quiet thuds]

[thunder rumbling]

[panting]

[groans]

Prospective client already?

Let's do it, huh? Let's do it!

[energetic brass music plays]

I slit a sheet, a sheet I

slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit.

Unique New York,

unique New York,

unique New York,

unique New York.

Hello, folks, I'm

Mason McGinnis.

But you can call me Mase.

Hello, folks, I'm Mason.

Beautiful home, isn't it?

Hi f...

[knocking on door]

Hi, fucks... uh,

folks. [chuckles]

You must be the Andersons.

Alderson. I'm Jean.

Ted Delancy. Jean's agent.

Excellent. Well, I'm

Mason. Please, come on in.

I've got such

sights to show you.

Let me just get

some lights on, and...

It's... it's probably

just a bad bulb.

Or five.

But actually,

maybe that's better.

This way you can see how

unnecessary electricity is

in a house with

such ample sunshine.

It was built with that in mind.

Um, please, follow me.

As you can see, this

space is quite open.

Very welcoming.

Is this an original wood stove?

Yes, it's an 1812 original iron.

[clears throat] Um, a

house is more than a home.

It's a place where

we raise our families.

And we start with

the center of it all.

[Ted] Chicken?

Or turkey?

Oh, well, um,

a... actually, this

is a great furnace

for a rotisserie spit.

Mm, nothing quite like

sitting back with a loved one

on a chilly winter's evening

while you're roasting

a really big chicken.

Surely there's a

kitchen for that.

- [rumbling]

- [metallic clanking]

Kitchen. Follow me.

[laughs nervously] Uh,

sometimes birds

can get stuck in there.

What with the flue having that,

um, classic old-time

narrow design.

- What's in this room?

- [lock clicks]

Um, storage.

Can we take a look?

I'm actually missing

the key for that,

but I will be happy to get you

some old photos from the office

and forward them to you.

Hey.

Hey, uh, you know,

why don't we go

check out the rest?

I think we are finally going

to have that "wow" moment.

Oh, and there's a really

nice reading room in here, too.

Maybe... Oh! Oh!

[clattering]

Were those chairs

always in that spot before?

Yes.

Actually, uh, yeah, I

put those chairs there

so I could, uh, remind myself

to show you this

room on the way out.

But, uh... [chuckles]

really, you gotta see

the master bedroom first.

So please, follow me.

Anyway, uh, here we go.

Brace yourselves.

I love this room.

It faces west,

so you get that beautiful

sunset glow coming through.

And a brand new rug

for those snug nights

when you want to just, uh...

unexpectedly

wake up on the floor.

- [faint scratching]

- I'm sorry, what?

- [faint scratching]

- Do you hear that?

[Ted] Yeah.

It's like, a scratching.

Oh, probably

just the central air.

Few things better in a

home than central air.

It sounds like it's

coming from the closet.

[faint scratching]

[sighs]

[ominous music plays]

Yeah, uh, yeah.

This is more of an

old-time vanity or a...

an armoire.

- Hey!

- Oh, so... I'm sorry.

Um, that's probably just...

[lock rattling]

it's just drafty,

you know, it's...

[Mason grunts]

[Mason grunts]

Yeah, like I said,

uh, central air.

So, technically,

it's a smart home!

The furniture knows

exactly when to move itself!

I'm sorry, folks, I'm

way off my game today.

This house is a steal. Really.

Don't let my bumbling

get in the way

- of such a great opportunity.

- Thanks, but no thanks.

[car engine revs]

[phone rings]

Bendt.

Hello, Mr. Bendt?

Ho... how are you, sir?

Ah, McGinness, Mr. How

is everything going?

Going? Well, going well.

Uh, well, that's

why I'm calling.

Uh, is there something

going on here?

Like what?

Yeah, either there's someone

messing with me in this house,

or, uh, I don't know,

maybe it's just really

drafty all the time?

Sounds to me like

what people call ghosts.

Sorry?

[coughing] Ghosts! Ghosts!

[laughs] Come on.

What is this, some

kind of initiation?

Oh, to tell you the truth,

it's all a bunch of hooey.

Sometimes when

these houses are built,

they're built in a way that

causes optical illusions.

[laughs]

Uh, you know, it's an old house.

Optical illusions?

Ah, but it's understandable

because of what happened there.

Too many murders in there.

That's why it's so

damn hard to sell.

Look, just give me a chance

to run with the big dogs.

Any prime listing

and I will sell it faster,

I will sell it for more,

and I will work for less.

I enjoy your enthusiasm

and zest for life.

However, I should remind you,

you're not technically

working for me.

You're an

independent contractor.

Which reminds me,

I'll need that W-9 form

as soon as possible.

[determined drum music plays]

[Mason] Haunted

house? No such thing.

There's haunted dreams,

haunted relationships,

haunted memories.

Heights barely reached,

roads never taken.

I can do this.

Haunted house, my ass!



Who's in here?



Come on out! I know

someone's f*ckin' around!

All right, haunted house.

Let's see if you can go

toe-to-toe with big Mase.

[upbeat music playing]



[chuckles]

Suck it, ghosts.

[crickets chirping]

[dial tone ringing]

- [Alison] What?

- Hi, hey, how are you?

[sighs] What do you want?

I just wanted to hear

the sound of your voice.

[sighs] Okay, listen to this.

f*ck off!

Alison, will you please

just listen, just one minute?

[sighs] Go.

Okay, so I know I've

made some mistakes.

Actually, I've made

a lot of mistakes.

But I want you to know

that I've got a new job,

new accommodations,

and I'm back on my feet,

and more determined than ever.

Life has always

thrown me curveballs,

and I've always managed

to hit it out of the park.

Are you for real?

Yeah, definitely.

Well, not always

out of the park,

but at least a

double or a single.

Mason...

To be honest, this

place is starting to

feel like more of a bunt.

But the point is, there is

no striking out over here.

You don't get it, do you?

What?

[sighs] I should've

known from the start.

All that shit with your mom.

My mom? Why are you

bringing her into this?

You know what you did.

I kept my mom from being

homeless is what I did.

You stole a lot of money

and got stripped

of your licenses.

Hey, she was in trouble.

I did what I had to do.

You didn't do it for her!

You did it for yourself.

She wound up in a

nursing home anyway.

And then you got caught,

and now all you can do

are these shitty little hustles.

You don't care who

gets screwed over

as long as your ego

doesn't get pricked.

- Alison, I...

- [phone buzzes]

- [ominous chord]

- [gasps]

Hello?

[eerie music playing]

Uh, Alison? Uh...

if you could maybe find it in

your heart to please forgive me,

we could continue

building a life together again.

Look, you sold

me on a better life.

But... it was just an empty box.

So...

consider me swindled too.

[somber music playing]

No. Don't look

at it. Don't look.



All right, come on out!

[dramatic music playing]

I know someone's

f*ckin' with me!



You think you're

pretty clever, huh?

f*ck! g*dd*mn it! Dang it!

[panting]

[sighs]

[door creaking]

[eerie music playing]

[Mason's mom] Mason?

I don't want to.

Don't make me go.

Mom?

[music intensifies]

[screaming]

[whimpering]

[gasps]

[screaming]

[groans]

[high-pitched music playing]

[music fades]

I need to start taking it easy.

- Oh, shit.

- [energetic drum music playing]

I slit a sheet, a sheet I

slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit.

[birds chirping]

Hi, guys. How we doing today?

That right there is a...

silver maple.

A rare deciduous.

Is that so?

Hi. Uh, the name's Mason.

[clears throat]

Can I, uh, help you

guys with anything?

Show you around?

Saw that the place is for sale.

Very much for sale.

Couldn't be more for sale.

And at a very low

price, too, I might add.

Such a beautiful place.

Why would anyone give this up?

Oh, the current owners

are expecting again.

Unexpectedly outgrown.

But their fortune might

favor your fortune,

because this here is

truly the perfect place

for that couple looking

to take their lives

to the next stage.

What stage is that?

Whatever stage

you want it to be.

Well... aren't you going to ask?

Ask?

Can we see the inside?

Of course. Follow me.

A little chillier

than usual today,

but fortunately we have this.

An original

hand-carved wood stove

that will warm

you up real quick.

- Lovely.

- Do you folks like cooking?

I think the previous owners

used this as a smoker.

That sounds like a fun idea.

Do you know the one thing I

keep hearing clients are looking for

in a new home?

- Closet space.

- A drink.

A new oven.

Maybe you can

show us the bedroom?

Yes, of course. Uh,

please, follow me.

I am telling you, I really love

the amount of

sunlight this room gets.

Little hot in here,

don't you think?

Well, once the central air hits,

we're talking lap of

luxury level comfort.

[clears throat]

Still a few mechanical

bugs to be worked out,

but that will be taken

care of, not to worry.

[scratching]

- What do you think?

- Stop.

I... I'm sorry, can I

get you something?

I'm sorry. My eczema.

Oh. Right.

It would just be easier

if I could get medication.

Well, it's expensive.

And yet here we

are, buying a house.

You know what?

Why don't you go take a

look inside that kitchen?

I'm just gonna show

her the, uh, new oven.

Hi, Mrs...

Uh, actually, I don't even

think I got your names.

[Alice] I like this.

The... the kitchen?

[Alice] Yeah.

It's... familiar.

Yeah. Sure, yeah.

It's got some really great

carpentry work over here,

- and then what I really like...

- [sobbing]

Oh, jeez, I'm... I'm sorry.

He... hey, I know

it's not my place,

but is there

anything I could do?

[sniffles]

No, it's okay.

Sometimes...

being married is hard.

You get on each

other's nerves, and...

you worry about

reaching a day where...

one of us will say

the wrong thing, and...

sometimes I have

these fantasies...

[eerie music playing]

where I beat him to it.

Like...

before he can hurt me.

Like, maybe when

he's in the shower,

I just take a knife and...

Hey...

maybe you can help me.

Could you?

Maybe you could sneak me

away before things get really bad.

Maybe you could fix it.

I'm sorry, I'm... I'm just...

I'm just here to sell the house.

[laughs] Of course.

I'm sorry. I'm

just trying to deal.

I'm sorry. I hope I

didn't frighten you.

[ominous chord]





[music intensifies]

After you.

[screaming]

[dramatic music playing]





"Looking for someone

with special abilities.

A... psychic."

[birds chirping]

[upbeat Latin music

playing over speakers]

Are you Claire?

Thank you so much

for responding. Uh...

So, uh, where do

we start? [chuckles]

You've done this before, right?

I don't normally

meet up like this.

Oh.

How do you normally do it?

- [fly buzzing]

- I don't.

[mug clattering]



So... so you're psychic, right?

Medium.

What's that?

You don't know what a medium is?

Something between

a small and large?

A psychic can't do what I do.

Look, I'm not

gonna sugarcoat it.

And just so you

know, you're talking to

a Willy Wonka-caliber

sugarcoater over here.

Sugar?



Uh... [clears throat]

I have a house

I'm trying to sell,

and I need to come to some

type of agreement with...

the... the current occupants.

I don't do eviction notices.

I'm not a public notary.

Notary public.

Okay, Dad.

Uh... uh, this house

has a... a bit of...

[chuckles] ...history.

Uh, apparently anyone

that moves in kind of sort of

ends up dead.

Kinda sorta dead?

Well, more like m*rder*d.

k*ll or be k*lled.

Or you k*ll yourself.

That is a problem.

Yeah.

Uh...

apparently this has been

going back a while, and...

- Could you maybe not do that?

- No one tells me what to do.

I... I... I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

I'm sorry. Please. Please.



I'm occasionally disingenuous.

Occasionally very, very often.

But not now. I need you.

Please. Can you help me?

I didn't tell you

how ugly that tie is.

Clients like it.

I thought the clients were dead.

Only some are dead.

I think.

How much will you pay me?

Well, I'll have you know I'm

expecting a bit of a windfall

after this transaction.

This is a freebie?

I'll make sure that

you're taken care of.

I may be full of shit

with my customers,

but ask anyone

I've ever worked for,

I will die for you

in the foxhole.

I don't even know why I'm here.

To be honest, it's been a while

since I've done

something like this.

But you can do it.

Growing up, I could see things.

Hear thoughts that

used to be there.

[eerie music playing]

Sometimes the things were evil.

What'd you do?

Burned the fucker down.

Kidding.

Look...

if you pay attention,

open up to them...

they will talk back.

If you believe,

you can get them to come out.

Maybe even get them to leave.

But having gasoline on hand

probably isn't a

bad idea either.

[exhales]

f*ck it. I'll help you.

[laughs] Thank you.

Thank you so much.

I will do whatever

I can for you.

Just lose the tie.

[upbeat jazz music playing]





[music concludes]

Hi, Claire.

This it?

Yeah. Come on in.

What, uh... Do you see anything?

Yeah, some brain

matter right there.

What's with the crosses?

Uh, I don't know.

I thought maybe

"the power of Christ

compels you" or something.

Just trying to help.

What's the activity?

Knocking, hearing

voices, moving furniture?

All of the above.

Apparitions?

Have you seen ghosts?

- Oh, yeah.

- Where?

All over.

Kitchen, hallways, bedroom.

Let's see the bedroom.

Ridiculous.

[faint scratching]

- You hear that?

- Yeah.

[scratching continues]

[tense music playing]

You're right, though.

Something is...

[ominous chord]



Yeah, that's right, be-yotch!

Door stopper.

We'll do it in here.

Tonight.

[spooky music playing]



You think I should

turn off the central air?

It does provide a

lot of movement.

Stop.

No one wants to

hear about central air.

Okay.

Oh!

What's that?

Garlic.

Do you have

f*cking vampires too?

Sorry, first sance.

- Hands on the table, bro.

- All right, okay.

Close your eyes.

No peeking.

[music fades]

I'm listening.

[eerie music building]

We know you're here.

Speak to me.

- [table rattling]

- We're here to help.

I'm here to help.

Show yourself.

Show yourself.

[faint, disembodied whispering]

There's someone here.

Who?

Who's here?

[whooshing]

Claire?

Claire?

Hello?

[door creaking]



Claire?

Who are you?

[whispering] Scarlett.

Sc... Sc... Scar... Scarlett,

you... you have to leave.

This is not your house anymore.



[shrieks, grunts]

Claire, get rid of her!

[disembodied whispering]

[wailing]

[whispering continues]

[rattling]

This is not your house.

[deep voice] We are many.

You are none.

Claire, snap out of it.

[grunts]

[gasps, exhales]

Second bedroom.

Sorry.

[tense music building]

The very first murders

were in this room.

Two little girls.

By their own father.

Never allowed to grow up.

Doomed to this place.

Everyone who lives here

made to suffer as they did.

What about Scarlett?

Scarlett was the last.

And the angriest.



It needs more ghosts.

Yeah, but I need to

get rid of the ghosts.

[Claire] This house...

likes you.

Knows you'll feed it.

Me? Why me?

[Claire] Because...

you only care about yourself.

[scoffs] Well,

that's a load of crap.

I care about lots of

stuff. I care about people.

But right now, you know

what I really care about?

Selling this g*dd*mn house.

[roars]

No, stop it! Stop that!

[Claire growling]

No! No!

- [Claire roars]

- No, Claire!

- [roars]

- Claire! Claire, stop it!

This door is probably

very expensive.

[growling]

Claire! Stop being

possessed! It's a total clich!

Claire, stop!

[Claire] Mason?

Mason, they're gone,

but only for a moment.

We have to go now.

I'm sorry.

They don't want me to leave.

We have to go

before they're back.

[sobbing]

It... it's okay. It's okay.

[snarling]

Ooh!

[Claire groans]

[gasps]

Oh, shit!

Uh... oh, man.

Uh... think, think, think. Um...

okay, you're a m*rder*r, and

you need to hide a body. Uh...

No. No. You're not a m*rder*r.

This was an accident. It

was clearly an accident.

Just call 911 and tell

'em what happened.

You just picked up a young

girl you met on Craigslist,

and you brought

her over to your home

in the middle of nowhere,

and she wound up

dead in the bedroom.

Okay, you're

definitely a m*rder*r,

and you need to hide the

body while you sort things out.

Think!

[eerie music playing]





[Mason grunting]

[panting]

[grunts]

[sighs]

Okay.

Let's just get this to

the car. It's just clothes.

It's fine. No one's gonna see.

One...

two...

- three.

- [banging on door]

[intense music playing]

Who is it?

[Mr. Bendt] Police. Open up.



Okay. Okay.

I deserve it.

Aw, McGinness, Mr.

I'm just f*ckin' with

you. Good morning!

Oh, uh, g... good morning.

What are you, um...

What do I owe the pleasure?

Well, I thought I'd drop

in on my way to the office.

[sighs] How's everything going?

Progressing.

Great.

Let's have a gander.

Well, this is a new one.

You a religious man, McGinness?

Uh, yes. Yes.

Actually, I know, you know,

this being the Bible Belt

and all, that this

might look attractive

to the, uh, evangelical crowd.

Fascinating.

Well, I'm glad you're

thinking outside of the box,

but maybe spread some of

those crosses around or something.

Of course.

Uh, Mr. Bendt, can I

get you anything to drink?

A water?

Wait.

There's a plumbing issue.

Did I ever tell you how I came

into possession of this house?

You...

lost a bet?

Precisely.

Well, I guess you

ruined my favorite story.

Wait, the...

[tense music playing]

[music stops]

[Mr. Bendt] Well, let's go

look at the old lady's room.

What in God's grand

buck happened in here?

Oh, uh, our sense of

smell is tied to memory,

and, uh, buyers,

they love a scent

that takes them back

in time, mm-hmm.

Tell me, you seen

any weird shit in here?

Ghosts?

Me?

I've never seen it.

Every time I come here,

it's the same ugly old house.

But that's what the

people always say.

Voices.

Weird shit.

Too many deaths

in here, I guess.

But you can't blame them.

Did you know that every time

there's more than one

person dwelling in this house,

one of them goes crazy

and murders the others?

Wives, kids... k*lled.

Isn't that something?

You seen any murders

in this house, McGinness?

[tense music]

[laughs]

Don't be such a doof. It's

all just a big coincidence.

Come on, let's go.

Well, nobody's died here yet,

so everything looks

peachy keen to me.

Just do me a favor

and clean out all that

sex orgy candle stuff

before your next prospect.

Certainly. Clear it out today.

And thank you for stopping by.

I'll make sure to

keep you updated.

Actually, let me take a

look in here really quick.

Oh, no. This room

is fine. Trust me.

- [tense music]

- Oh, yeah? Then let me see it.

Y... You don't

need to go in there.

And why is that?

Ghosts?

Jesus H. Christ.

Good night.

Smells like

something died in here.

This yours?

What's in this?

Dirty laundry.



[music stops]

You're into some

weird shit, McGinness.

But actually, you're

the kind of person

I've needed all along.

Clean this place

up, for Christ's sake.

And get some

more bodies in here.

The place ain't

gonna sell itself.

[melancholic music playing]



[breathing shakily]

[sobbing]





[police siren blaring]

[siren fading]

[sighs]





[dramatic sting]

Last chance, Mason.

[exclaims]

[faint rustling]

[ominous music plays]

[music stops]

Hey! Is this...

Be gone! Gone with you, demon!

Sycamore?

Yeah, maybe. What's it to you?

It's very nice.

Let me see the

back of your head.

Okay.

Why, is there a

leaf or something?

Um... [clicks tongue]

you busy cleaning?

I'd love to check

out the inside.

Well, this is it. Another

sausage is made.

Where the bodies are buried.

Makes for a good spot to

incinerate one's problems.

Probably should

have thought of that.

I've read that these grounds

have a bit of a sordid history.

It's a bit of an understatement.

I'm into it.

Little added character.

- Makes for some fun stories.

- Wait!

And maybe best of all...

makes for low property value.

[scoffs] Dude, come on.

Let's drop the

charade, all right?

- I gotta get back to...

- I'll take it.

What?

I'll take it.

You mean, buy it?

You want to? Just like that?

[hopeful music plays]

I've already seen the specs.

I already know the history.

Look, I definitely

didn't come out here

to lose it to another buyer.

Why, is there anything

else I should know?

[laughs]

Single guy like you? You?

What was your name again?

You're single, right? [chuckles]

Yeah, but, uh...

It's Jim.

Jim. Jimmy. [laughs]

Sir James.

You know, Jim, a house

is more than a home.

It is a place where

we forge our own trails.

We begin our own adventures.

- [both chuckle]

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Take care.

It was really great meeting you.

Aw, you too, man.

[music turns ominous]

[music fades]

[colleagues applauding]

And you should have no

misgivings depositing it.

- Thank you so much.

- Partner.

[both laugh]

Oh, no, thank you.

You've done the unthinkable.

And as an extra special

token of my appreciation...

- I don't smoke, though.

- You never know.

You could come across

some fuzzy paperwork

that probably should be burned.

So, what's next?

Next? Oh, new challenges await.

Unique properties to sell.

A robust rental market.

The trappings of

office, fame and politics.

Get this.

Cindy's stapler's gone missing.

No, no, I mean, what

is next for... [stutters]

You know what? Forget it.

Oh, buck up, boy.

Don't you want to

hear how I lost that bet?

Sure.

Most f*cked-up poker

game I ever played.

The winner wins the

deed to the house.

What I didn't know, though,

was that he lost the

game on purpose.

On account of the

deed being cursed.

You see?

Whoever owns the deed

owes the house lives.

Remember those

nightmares you had?

Well, every time the

house was hungry,

I had them, too.

Until I could give it

to someone to take,

so to speak.

Usually a random,

overconfident salesman would do.

Until you came along.

And wouldn't you know it?

You actually sold the damn

thing and escaped with your life.

Now, that poor sap has the deed.

And he'll pass it to

someone else when he dies.

[ominous music play]

[upbeat guitar instrumental]



[phone vibrating]

Hello?

Hey, Mase. It's Jim.

Oh. [chuckles nervously]

Hey, how are you?

Uh... uh, everything adequate?

Yeah. Adequate.

Uh, bit of a k*ller headache

the last couple days.

Oh. Not feeling well?

No, I'm sure it's nothing.

But I am calling because

there's a little issue.

Okay, Jim. I'm going

to be honest with you.

Uh, you might need

to do some exorcising.

Exorcising?

Yeah. Candles.

And you want to get

a really good priest

because mediums

might not be as effective.

Okay.

I haven't the faintest clue

what you're talking about.

This is about the bedrooms?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Yeah, well, I'm thinking

there might be an

infestation upstairs.

You know, my daughter's heard

a lot of scratching

on the walls.

- And...

- [footsteps tapping over phone]

Just the other night,

I started to hear it in

the big bedroom, too.

Daughter? Your... your daughter?

I know this happens sometimes.

But I don't know

the first person to call

about something like that, so...

Wait, wait. I'm

sorry. Your family?

You... you have a family

living with you at that house?

Yeah. My daughter's

here with me.

But, uh, you know... [chuckles]

I don't think she knows

a contractor, either.

She's seven.

Uh, yeah, I will, uh...

I'll think about it.

Yeah, well.

We might switch rooms anyway.

She couldn't get a wink of sleep

in there the last couple nights.

Monster under the bed, you know?

- [objects clattering loudly]

- Hey!

Knock it off!

[softly] Oh, shit.

[sighs] Sorry.

It's the headache. [sighs]

Mason? You still there?

Yes. Yeah, I'll... I'll

figure something out.

Great.

Um, appreciate it. Thanks.

[ominous music builds]

Dad, can I sleep with you?

[sighs] Why? It's time for bed.

But there's monsters.

There's no monsters.

No such thing.

[chuckles softly] Just

try not to think about it.

[music intensifies]

[line ringing]

[phone buzzing]

[Jim] Hey, you've

reached Jim Neal.

Can't get to my phone right now,

but if you leave your

name and number,

I'll get back to you

as soon as I can.

Shit!

[thunder rumbling]

[music calms]

- [door creaks]

- [metal scraping]

[music intensifies]

[thunder roars]

Mr. Neal! Jim, hello!

Jim!

Hello, Jim! Come on!

Mason?

What... what are you doing here?

Oh, uh, I just wanted to

give everything a once-over

for any, uh, quick

fixes, irregularities,

brain splatter, evidence.

Mason, what are

you doing? It's late.

Weird question.

Uh, are you having

any trouble sleeping,

or dangerous thoughts?

What are you doing right now?

[scoffs] I'm just having a...

[music intensifies]

drink.

Where is your daughter?

[thunder roars]

[daughter screams]

[thunder rumbling]

- Are you okay?

- The closet!

What did you see? Who was it?

Mason, tell me what's going on.

Look, I want to purchase

your house back.

What?

This house. I want to buy it.

What are you, high?

You already sold it to me.

Semantics, just listen.

I want to take it

off your hands,

I'll pay you a healthy premium,

I got the money

now, I'm a partner.

Daddy.

Mason, get out of here!

Please, you have

to listen to me.

This house is a lemon, a dud.

I wasn't being honest with you.

That's my whole MO.

I'm not an honest person.

My entire career,

I bullied clients,

I cheated, I brushed

things under the rug.

Literally, like skull fragments,

evidence, the truth.

I was wrong to have

sold you this place.

You can't stay here.

Daddy!

Let's go.

Push, Jim!

I can't get it open!

[screaming]

Stop, Claire, it's me!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

This is all my fault.

You're just a kid.

I never should have

brought you here.

I... I... I promise

when this is over,

I will tell the

police everything.

And your family, your

friends, everyone will know,

so that they have peace.

You will have peace, I swear it.

No fingers crossed.

[whimpers]

[imitates choking sound]

You're the best.

I'm not going to give the

whole closing speech again,

but this house ain't

a home no more.

Leaving already?

We're just trying to take

them to the next stage.

Endless possibilities.

They only try to mess with

you. They can't actually hurt you.

I think. Follow me.

[tapping]

[daughter screams]

- [glass shattering]

- [ghosts growling]

Back door.

Dad!

Let him go.

[Scarlett's voice]

Low-life peddler.

Two-bit confidence man.

You're the sucker.

Nothing I haven't already

heard from my own family before.

[Mason's mom voice] Mason.

Mason, I miss you.

You're not...

Mom.

Don't let them put

me in a nursing home.

Please, Mason, please.

I just want to go home.

You said you wouldn't leave me.

You left me to die in there.

You're right, I did.

I could have helped

pay the mortgage,

I could have saved

your house, but...

instead I helped sell it

and pocketed the cash.

Every bad thing that has

ever been said about me

is true.

And I am so, so sorry.

So, we're gonna make a deal.

Me, instead of them.

[Scarlett's voice] No deal.

You'll never get rid of us.

We are all.

And now, so am I.

Me, instead of them.

Take the deal.

[ghost growls]

Take the deal!

[demonic screaming]

[Jim screams]

Jim! Jim!

Jim, Claire's body

is buried in Everpine,

just off Route 12.

Tell that to the police.

Tell them I did it.

Now, go. Now!

[hopeful music plays]





[music crescendos, stops]

[thunder rumbling]

[thunder rumbling]

[lighthearted music plays]

So, this house

is a little older,

but you do get a lot

of bang for your buck.

It's four bed, one bath.

18,096 square feet.

But it's pretty impressive.

It has some original features,

including a wood fire stove.

So, this could be your house.

[realtor continues indistinctly]

What are you gonna do now?

I don't know.

I guess I have eternity to

watch other people's mistakes.

This must be your hell.

How so?

All these people

and no one to sell to.

It's more peaceful than

I would have imagined.

Being a part of it

without all the stress.

Come on, it's not so bad, is it?

Bad?

It f*cking sucks.

I can't even have any sugar.

It's better this way. Trust me.

How so?

Sugar will k*ll you.

[all scream]

Quick!

["Lover Please Stay" by

Shtriker Big Band plays]

Got feel it in heaven

when my lover's near

Lord, let this moment

last for another year

Though today has ended,

the night's still young

I'd say

Lover, don't go away

Let it be what I

am longing for

Let's fly out from Manhattan

To the California shore

Just to watch

the ships at night

On the San Francisco Bay

Oh, lover,

please, please stay

Don't say you have to go

Don't say you need to run

I stop the clock

on Central Station

And we can have

a drink downtown

Let it be the night

that I am longing for

Let's fly down south

To Austin or to Ecuador

Just to drink pia colada

On a hot, wet summer's day

Oh, lover,

please, please stay

Yeah!

Oh, lover

Oh, lover

Oh, lover

Please, please stay

Please stay

Please stay
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