Fanfic (2023)

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Fanfic (2023)

Post by bunniefuu »

Nothing works.
I don't know what's going on.

The only things that help
are pills and writing fanfics.

My therapist says
I can't spend my whole life daydreaming

and stealing psych meds from my dad,

but...

...I don't give a shit.

Summer break can feel like
it stretches on and on,

like a big rubber band.

But one mustn't wait to start preparing.

School is our second home, after all.

We're like one big family here,

and I expect you all missed me too.

Very much.

I really did, though.

In the month of October,

all second-year students
will go on a trip to an unusual place.

Of course I mean Malbork.

When you arrive, you'll be able
to, uh, observe an extraordinary building.

The world's largest...

A trip to Malbork.

There, you'll observe and tour

the world's largest
secular brick building.

What is it?

I'll just wait for my turn.

All right, then. All yours.

Please.

To the owner of the white Mercedes,
plates WX 5236, your headlights are on.

Sorry, when I'm stressed I tell jokes.

Unfunny ones.

But in my defense, it'd be hard
to come up with something funnier than

"the world's largest
secular brick building."

And me?

My name's Leon.

I got a scholarship
and came here from a very small town.

So if you ever see
a horse illegally parked outside,

that was probably me.

And I have many problems
with the Polish education system.

Welcome, Leon!

FORMAL INAUGURATION OF THE SCHOOL YEAR

There, you'll be able
to, um, observe and tour

an extraordinary building,

the world's largest
secular brick building.

And we'll have a lovely bus ride.

Then, in December...

FANFIC

A SHORT STORY MIXING THE WORLDS
OF FICTIONAL AND REAL CHARACTERS,

CREATED BY FANS, PUBLISHED ON THE INTERNET

I wanna puke.

I wanna puke.
Half of my life I wanna puke.

And the other half, I just wanna sleep.

Artur.

assh*le.

You dropped something.

Don't weigh it like that.

Huh? What?

You've already eaten half of it.

Is that better?

Hey. Could you hold my spot in line a sec?

I wanted to browse
the electronics department.

Joking. Sorry.

Hmm.

Pardon me.

Could you tell my friend about any deals
or special offers you currently have?

'Cause he's shy and afraid to ask.

My friend got it right.
As it turns out, I'm a bargain hunter.

A shy bargain hunter.

Keep the change.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- Emilka.
- And her?

Uh, and that's Tośka.

Don't mind her. She's always like that.
Wanna grab a beer?

No, no, no, no.
This shy bargain hunter has other plans.

Yeah?

I like your nails.

"I like your nails"?

Nails, shmails.

Okay, screw it then.

"The concert went well."

"Very well, even."

"Twenty thousand people
screamed at the top of their lungs,

singing his songs."

"His largest tour was
slowly coming to an end."

"Lucky for him,
'cause he was really exhausted."

"With fame, the burden of stardom,
all these people..."

"He stepped off stage and was
immediately bombarded by an assistant,

but all he really wanted
was to hide out up in his...

dressing room?"

- Get out of here.
- Who is that?

You hear it?

THE STAR

What?

What?

Don't tell me you did everything right,
Andrzej. Come on.

Well,
then maybe I'll call the glazier?

What glazier, man?

What are you even saying?
You know how much this costs?

- Hi, Dad.
- Hi.

Hi.

You could have called me, ya know?
I wouldn't have come.

It's not a big deal.
Half an hour and we'll head out.

Well, I'm hungry already.

Okay. No problem.

- I'll handle it all.
- Handle what?

Well... I'll secure it and tidy up.
Don't worry at all.

All right, tidy it up then. And that too.
Why is that standing there?

It should be lying flat,
or it'll shatter more windows.

I told you, Andrzej.

Boss! Uh, you mentioned
something about an advance.

- Start of the school year?
- What?

You look nice.

Elegant and stuff.

The school year started today, right?

I don't dress up for school.

It's not any of your business anyway.

Of course. I... I just thought that...

maybe someday that...
you'd like to, for instance, go...

No.

- "No," what?
- No, I don't want to go out with you.

Because I work for your father?

No!

- All right, relax.
- What are you doing?!

- What? What?
- You judging me?

f*ck right off! Don't ever touch me again!

Ah!

Have you lost it?

f*ck! Why is it
that I want to tear everyone to pieces?

Why is it that...

Ah!

Okay.

Okay.

Do you have to behave like that
in front of my employees?

Couldn't you just once
act like a normal girl?

I don't know. Smile nicely, talk politely,
say something non-aggressive.

You're just sulky. You're off.
You're resentful all the time now.

I really... I don't get it, Tosia.
Will you tell me what's going on?

What?

Tosia, I'm talking to you.
Tell me what's going on.

Here, I bought some tampons for you.

You couldn't just have bought pads, Dad?

You wanted tampons.

They added this in here as a freebie.

Check it out.

It is a menstrual cup, size L.

For people who've already given birth.

I look like
someone who's given birth to you?

Let go of me. Let me go.

Let me go, ya big lug.

Let me go.

Let go.

Oh, sweetie!

PISSED-OFF CINDERELLA

Hey!

Sweetie, hey! Hey!

f*ck, I guess you need a singer, huh?

Guys! Guys, come on, let me go!

Maybe I could use a singer?

Tosia, hurry up or I'll be late.

Coming!

COMMENTS
YESTERDAY

I'M STOKED
I'M SPEECHLESS

YOU'VE GOT TALENT

GOOD, COOL
GREAT! AWESOME

CINDERELLA

THE STAR COULDN'T REMEMBER
ANYONE THAT FUNNY

THE STAR FELT THAT THEY WERE SIMILAR

Hi. What's up?

CINDERELLA CAME TO HIS DRESSING ROOM.
ELECTRICITY! MAGNETISM

So?

Come on!

ROKSANA
TOTALLY DOPE! LOVE READING YOU!

Mrozowska, please come up here.

You were on the catwalk
before school today?

- I can't believe this.
- I'm right here, doll.

Good morning.

Twelve minutes after the bell.

That means an absence.

- I apologize.
- That means you're free to go.

Can I stay in class though?

I'm not in the habit of repeating myself.

All right, I'm sorry.

What's that there?

A breath mint.

Faster, girls.
Keep up the pace!

- She won't let me take my finals too.
- What are you saying?

- Won't graduate.
- Matylda, you will.

- Matylda, I know a great geography tutor.
- Lift your knees higher!

Do you know
how many geography tutors I know?

Harder, Emilia!
I can see you!

Faster, girls!

Keep up the pace! One! Two! Three! Yes!

Tośka...

Hey, when I wrote
that last fanfic was too short, I...

What I meant was, it was so good
that I thought it could've been longer.

- Mm-hmm.
- Double pace, girls!

Come on! Good! Good!

Hey, that new character,
the Cinderella who's pissed?

Super. I love all that.

Really rad. Dope.

Roksana, please, stop trying so hard.

Really? She got it.

Good!

Come on! Go forward!

Whoa!

LEON - HOW'S YOUR POLISH?
STILL THE PRETTIEST IN TOWN?

Foul!

Come on, that was a foul.

That's not how you play.

Who are you texting, huh?

Tośka.

Who's this Tośka?

It's our Tośka.

Tośka from class?

Yeah, so what?

She's a weird one.

I don't mean she's unpleasant or anything.
She's just weird, man.

Why's that?

'Cause Maks, well,
he couldn't seal the deal with her.

Tosia!

Hold up!

Will you drop by my place tonight?

What do you actually want here?

Do I have to want something?

I'm not interested in you, okay?

There'll be a few people from school.

Mm-hmm.

I'll make you guacamole.

Later.

How are your stories, Tosia?

Fanfics.

That's right, yeah.
How are your fanfics then?

Um, good. People like them.

I'm just finishing one, only...

Only what?

I'd like for you
to prescribe me medication.

Tosia...

did you take your father's meds again?

We both agreed you wouldn't anymore.

I didn't agree to anything.

And if you don't wanna prescribe meds,
then I'll stop coming to our appointments

Mm-hmm.

I can see that you're mad.
But that's okay. That's okay.

Anger gives you the power
to implement change.

Don't you get
that I don't want to be angry?

That I can't stand being this mad?

Tosia, you must learn to expel your anger.

Otherwise, it might result in
another episode of self-harm or v*olence.

Follow me. Come, come, come, come.

Look at these vultures,
already going after the food. Ha!

HIS OWN MANAGER DIDN'T BELIEVE IN HIM

I thought of you.
I'm starting a project for next season.

- But hold on. Wait, wait, wait.
- Okay.

- Without him.
- One sec.

He's over. Done. He's yesterday's news.

- I just gotta...
- I'll keep you in mind.

We'll get it sorted. Have fun!
Eat! Eat as much as you can!

Eat till you drop, okay!

Whoo-hoo!

That tune you played me yesterday,
that...

That was fire. Hot fire.

It's fire, and we can show it
in a couple of places.

I've already arranged some stuff.
So, practice, please!

Sup?

Hey, everybody get out!

The party's over!

My Rolex!

No!

You're a wacko!

HE THREW THEM OUT OF HIS PARTY,
HIS HOTEL ROOM AND HIS LIFE

I'm normal.

I'm completely normal.

Totally normal.

There's nothing wrong with you.

Tosia.

What's up?

You're soaking wet.

Leave me the hell alone, Maks.

Cool party. Yeah, Leon.

Oh.

You are into me, right?

Am I?

So what's the deal?
I thought you were hitting on me.

I dunno, maybe I'm a romantic.

Tośka?

Oh, good.
I thought I'd made a fool of myself.

Hey. Gimme a hand here.

- Hi.
- Give them here.

Hey.

Hey!

Ciao.

- Shall we?
- You're a witch!

Let's go.

- Hiya. Hey.
- Hi.

What is this place, huh?

Konrad set me up here.

Until I can find a normal place, anyway.

You're drenched to the bone, Tosia.
Go get changed before you get sick.

I'm fine, don't be silly.

My clothes are over there.

Put something on.

Wear your clothes? Okay, I guess.

- What about that guacamole?
- Hold on. Just a sec!

All right then.

Be my lookout.

I came here today 'cause I've been
thinking about you a lot lately.

And, I mean, you kinda
pop into my mind on your own.

Do you happen to, um,
know the story of Cinderella?

You really make one cool Tosiek.

Can I borrow these clothes please?

No, only after the 18th.

Yeah. No, I won't really have a chance.

All right. Do you work on weekends?

Hello? Hello?

Hello, do you hear me?

- Hello?
- I'm here. Can you hear me?

Yeah, the connection was bad.

You wanna, um, copy it?

Can you stop? It's just so annoying.

I see there was
a sale at the thrift store, Tośka.

Three-pointer.

Oh, you better watch out.

Tosia? Do you want some mascara?

No, thanks.

I'm here. Get back to your seats, please.

- Hiya.
- Hi.

Let's get started, hmm?

- Is everyone here?
- Super.

Well then. Tośka?

Before we move on to chemistry,
first let's talk about our class affairs.

- I want you to pair up...
- What for?

To prepare presentations, Artur.

Hey, Tosia. Tosia! If you want,
I have a whole bag of old clothes.

- I can lend you some.
- Oh, very funny.

Maks? Maks.

What are you going to do
for your presentation?

Well, I think, uh,
my classmate has inspired me,

so I've decided to take on

the subject of recycling clothes,
conscious consumerism,

wearing old, smelly hand-me-downs.

It's a really good topic.

Maks, everybody wears what they want
and whose clothes they want.

Oh, so if I want to,
I can come to school in your pajamas?

I sleep naked,
but maybe I could find something.

Guys, this is chemistry,
not a free period. Can we begin?

No, 'cause Maks can't last five minutes
without being in the spotlight.

I think we should all give
a big round of applause to Maks.

- I reckon he really needs it, yup.
- You want me to get up, Konrad?

- Artur!
- You're already up.

- Calm down.
- Don't scratch your nail polish.

Your girlfriend does my nails
free of charge.

- Leave my girlfriend out of this.
- Get a grip.

Do you need a moment?

Roksana!

- Can we do the presentation together?
- But everyone is...

Shut the hell up, Maks!

Fairy.

Roksana, please go sit down.

- Yeah.
- We'll do the presentation together.

Just a second.
We'll do the presentation and...

- Roksana!
- You look so cool.

Listen, I think Maks
would like to add something.

Do you suffer from
identity or personality disorder?

You got a problem?

No, you got a problem, dude,
'cause I don't paint my damn nails

and look like a clown.

- Hey!
- Got a problem with self-expression?

Yes, I do!

- Let's talk!
- Maks! Maks!

I got a problem with cringe-y outfits
and with people like you!

Maks! Maks.

Why are you egging him on?

Is Maks always like that?

Always.

Need much time
to find those pajamas for him?

Yeah, it might take a while.

If you get it done quickly, you might have
a free afternoon today. Maybe?

"How transgender people
define themselves today."

Boom!

Uh, that's the topic
I came up with for our presentation.

Okay.

Will you write something?

Uh, won't you comment on it?

Um, if you like it or not?
If it's interesting or not?

It's interesting.
So, will you write something?

You seem different.

And I have to tell you that,
you know, as a friend.

Roksana, you and I are not friends, okay?

Love you too.

Make sure
your skin is dry and clean before taping.

All this is so that the glue
retains its adhesiveness while taping.

When cutting out pieces of tape,
remember to round the corners.

This is helpful when removing the tape.

The tape can stretch to 180%,
so don't cut out pieces that are too big.

Avoid adjusting the tape
when sticking it onto your skin.

If you accidentally peel the tape off,

the glue will never recover
the same level of adhesion.

If you're having trouble finding tape
at your local drugstore

or looking for links to buy some online...

Dad.

I'm sorry.

What?

- Do you have a minute to talk?
- About what?

I don't know. I thought that, uh...

The weather is great. It's Saturday.

Maybe we could go out for lunch,
or to the zoo.

Dad, I'm 17 years old.

And? Who cares how old you are?

Come on, come out with me.

You could wear something nice.

Listen, I don't wanna see
that therapist anymore.

What's going on?

He doesn't want to prescribe me meds.

Tosia, why do you need meds?
You don't need any dr*gs.

Mmm, I wouldn't be so sure, Dad.

Tosia, I just can't.
Let's not talk about this now.

Dad, I steal pills from you.

What do you mean?

If I don't take them,
I feel like hurting myself.

No, wait. You've got to be joking.

Tosia, unlock it!

You hear me, Tosia? Open the door.

Tosia, either you open up
or I'll break down the door!

Tosia, open the damn door!

Be careful,
or else you might hurt yourself.

Girl, what have you done with your hair?

Boy.

What?

I'm a boy, Dad.

What are you talking about, Tosia?

Leon? Can I borrow more clothes from you?

'Cause I don't have any
and I wanna look good,

because this is the real me.

And... I'll be hurt
if you won't want to be friends anymore,

because I really like you,
but I'll understand, and...

I dunno. I had nowhere else to go.

Just admit it, okay?

You're just super into me
and want to look just like me.

Sorry, I'm way sexier than you.

Yup.

- Can I ask you something real quick?
- Go ahead.

What's this all about?

What's going on with you?

Do you remember back when we first met?

Mmm.

You weren't the only one barfing.

I wasn't barfing.

I saw you, though.

It's like...

Well, it's like...

Sometimes it's all just
too much for me, and...

Usually, my father's pills help,
but back then they didn't.

- What pills are these?
- Zoloft.

So what?

Meds can help.

I just don't get why you gotta
steal them from your dad.

Without them I feel like I'm...

It's this feeling,
like you're about to tear someone apart.

Everyone. And then yourself.

I felt like that all the time.
Or would be groggy from the medicine.

And... back here, at your place,

when I saw myself in your clothes, I...

I understood that I'm not a normal girl.

I mean, that I'm not a girl.

That I'm a boy.

That anger went away.

KONRAD
ARE YOU COMING?

Wanna go to a party?

For real? Are you kidding?

No.

At Konrad's sister's.

- Me?
- Yes.

- Today?
- Yeah.

Oh, dude!

Into me?

Just a second.

Such a good party.

What are you playing at?

What do you mean?

He's a great guy, isn't he?
I really like Leon.

Uh-huh.

Generally, he hasn't had it easy.

He could only count on himself. And...

it wouldn't be cool
if someone f*cked him over now, right?

For example, some attention-seeking chick.

Who, me?

Well, not me.

Hey, listen,
I'm gonna tell you all a joke!

h*m* in general are dangerous.
They know magical tricks.

Look, Dad.

I'm gonna make your son disappear.

Poof!

Look, Daddy, Daddy, I'm gay.

Whoosh! Your son has vanished.

Generally, h*m* are really well-off here.

For real. For instance,
they always have a free gift for Grandma.

They only need...

- Hi.
- Seriously? You invited him?

Stumbled under a lawnmower?

They only need to send
their grandma a text.

"Hey, I broke up with Patryk."

"Happy birthday!"

So, when is your grandma's birthday?

Leon.

Come here.

Come here. Come on.

Come here.

Is that... Is that Maks' bike?

Yeah.

He's gonna k*ll us.

His father will buy him
three bikes like this. Come on.

Tosiek!

Tosiek!

- I missed that one.
- Me too.

You wanna go to my place?

All right.

You prefer the lips or the eyes?

Neither of them.

Girl, would you get down?

You get down, girl.

Run!

Leon, are you gay?

What?

You heard me.

Yeah, I am.

Super cool.

Super cool?

Of course.

I've got a question.

Yeah?

Are you after Tosiek or Tośka?

What do you think?

May I kiss you?

You may.

32 MISSED CALLS FROM DAD

f*ck.

f*ck.

Do you know what time it is?

I know, Dad. We left and...

I mean, we were upstairs

and I left my phone
in my jacket downstairs,

and I just didn't hear it.

Tosia.

Tosia, listen.

I know I haven't spent
too much time with you.

I know that it's... all my fault.

I apologize for that.

Because I've been working a lot,

I've been doing all I can
so that you could have everything.

But I've neglected you.

I've made many mistakes,

and I've hurt you.

And for that, I'm sorry.

Nah, come on, it wasn't that bad.

Come here.

All right, Tosia.

Now that we've cleared all that up,

sweetheart, could you stop
with the playing dress-up already?

Please, Tosia.

I promise, from now on,

I'm going to give you
all the attention you'll need.

Leave.

Leave!

I said get out!

MATYLDA
f*cking HELL

CHECK THIS OUT

SUCK BALLS, YOU TRANS

DEVIANT

SHIT RAINBOWS

IN YOUR FACE

EVOLUTIONARY ERROR

What're you watching there?

I'D STILL f*ck HER

Nothing.

You can go ahead.

Go on, keep watching.

Whatever the hell it is.

About to say something?

Of course.

If I were you, I'd be worried

that someone stole my bike.

STUPID BITCH

q*eer SCUM!

GET YOUR ASS READY

FAIRIES

He...

Hello?

We were supposed
to work on the presentation, Tosia.

- Hello, are you there?
- Obviously.

- We're about to be called in.
- Hiya.

How are you feeling?

I'm fine.

Super.

- Super that you're not bothered.
- Bothered?

Uh... you even seen it?

Well...

I don't know who posted this,
but... I know that I despise that person.

What a jerk! An internet bully.

People like that should get
a lifetime ban on internet access,

in my opinion.

Um, hi.
Are you waiting for me?

- Are you Roksana?
- Uh, yes...

I gotta go.

What?

- I'll k*ll him.
- Who?

- Maks.
- How do you know it's him?

It has to be him.

- He realized we stole his bike and...
- You stole his bike, Tosiek.

I did. Never mind.

It, like, pissed him off or something,
and now he wants revenge, get it?

Tosiek, you have no idea whether it's him.

Someone's been taking those photos
over weeks, not just yesterday.

- If not him, then who?
- I don't know.

REPORT

Hiya.

Hey, you comin'?

f*ck me.

You're sick, dude.

KONRAD
HEY, I'M WORRIED. EVERYTHING OKAY?

My dear, could it be
that the time you spend on homework

is inversely proportionate to the time
you spend in front of the mirror?

Hmm?

Maybe you should follow
the example of some of your classmates

who refrain from doing their hair,
I presume in the interest of learning.

Bravo.

Bravo.

I propose shaving your head bald.

My intuition tells me that...

you might not graduate this year.

TOSIEK
WHERE ARE YOU?

A pretty face...

JASTRZĘBSKA'S AT HER BEST

...and a wonderful figure

are not enough to pass in my class.

I'M COMING OVER

I'm okay.

I hate this school.

These shitty teachers.

They think I'm an idiot
just because I'm pretty.

It's just that I've got
no one to talk to about it,

'cause Emilka says,
"Tough, that's how the world works."

I don't even know
if I want to go to college.

No?

I don't know. Maybe I'm weird, huh?

- And you?
- What?

Well, do you consider yourself
a totally normal girl?

Boy, actually.

Oh, sorry. A normal boy.

Hey, forgive me for asking.

Um, how is it that for 17 years
you didn't realize that you're...

You know.

- How was it I didn't know?
- Mm-hmm.

I dunno.

It seems super obvious
when I look back on it now.

But it wasn't like that at all before.

I dunno. Maybe it's something
too vast to wrap your head around.

Or I was just too...

too afraid to notice.

I gotta go.

Hey, are you gonna finish that?

- That's for you.
- Thanks.

- Things are getting out of hand, huh?
- What are you talking about?

Nothing, darling girl. Nothing.

Darling boy.

- What?
- Darling boy.

Tośka, you're such an attractive girl.

I just don't get
why you would wear those rags.

They don't look good.

- Of course.
- No, really.

And besides,

you tell us to address you
as "darling boy,"

but you keep staring at Leon.

If you'd at least be chasing skirts,

that would make sense,
be somewhat logical.

Since when is this about logic, Maks?

Emilka, did I ask you anything?

Firstly, don't call me Emilka,
'cause I'm not a kid.

Secondly, what are you, my father?
Don't talk to me like that.

Should I explain it to you?

Maybe explain it to me.
Sometimes I don't get what's going on.

Explain it to us.

Gender is a social construct.

Most of us are born as men
or born as women.

Okay? And what is expected
of women and men

is a made-up theory.

And it's imposed, so not innate.

You do get that, right?

Okay, Maks.

You can be a cis girl
and be attracted to girls.

Yeah?

Or boys.

Or you can be born...

a trans boy and like boys or girls.

Or you're not able to relate
to any gender and you might like...

Aliens.

Wow.

I just know when something
feels okay and when it doesn't.

Well, that's what's most important.

Now it doesn't feel okay.

Hi.

Koko, don't go.

It's great that you convinced Leon
to come back.

There's no point
in worrying about that stuff, right?

Can you take our photo?

Of course. Yeah.

Okay...

Bit closer.

Show me, show me.

That's not what it looks like.

I caught you.

Leon, I can explain this, really.

Leon, I can explain this.

You idiot!

Yeah? Yeah?

You...

Hey, stop!

Relax.

Sit down, Tosia.

Tosiek!

Leave her alone!

Seriously?

Ow! Ow!

Maks! Artur!

Stop! Get down!

Maks. Maks!

Maks.

Get down.

My father's not answering.

Leon didn't do anything, I'm telling you.

Wait in the hallway.

I was addressing the students.

Oh. Excuse me.

I'd like to request for Maks to stay.

One must be able to face
the consequences of one's actions.

We'll come to that. For now, I'd rather
talk to you gentlemen in private.

Ma'am, I pay full tuition,

- so I think I have the right...
- Come on.

Did I ask you to say anything?

Go outside.

Outside, now.

How long do we have to wait?

Leon's parents live outside Warsaw.

He must have a guardian.

I don't think it's any of our business.

Did I ask you to say anything?

Let's make it clear.

I don't like your tone
or how you address me.

And I dislike the way you address
your child even more than that.

Jesus Christ.

I can't stand jerks
who fight with their own kids.

It's good you were there to tell him off.

I almost f*cked things up
with Konrad as well.

When he came out,
I tried to convince him that it'll pass

and other such pure bullshit.

Luckily, I realized
it's harder for him than for me.

I was filming my sister.

I swear I didn't post that.

Gotta tell you, Maks,
I understand you a bit better now.

'Cause of my dad?

He's not that bad.

He's just pissed because of my bike.

What bike?

Someone stole my bike
at your party.

- Come on.
- Tell him.

- Come on, come on.
- No.

Come on, hurry.

We were supposed to
give him back the bike.

We will. Relax.

You relax.

Why are you so worried about it?

Like, nothing's gonna happen
if he waits a bit more for his damn bike.

I don't feel right about it.

You afraid?

You seriously don't get it.

What is it I don't get? I get it all, man.

You were so afraid to have a girlfriend.

So you're going to out me now?

- All right. Ready?
- Yeah.

One. Two. One, two, three and...

- What?
- Drums need to start.

Oh, right. Sorry.

One, two, three and...

What?

- What is it?
- You're doing it wrong, dude.

- In what way?
- We're in G, not in F.

Cinder.

- You're in the wrong key, dude.
- What wrong... Nah, fine. Fine.

- It's a completely different key.
- f*ck this. f*ck this band.

Who even is that?

f*ck you.

Yeah? I like your nails.

Yes. Thank you, girls.
Top marks, of course.

Um, all right, let's keep going.

Mmm, next up, next victim.

Tosiek and Roksana.

Uh...

I apologize,
but we didn't prepare anything.

Ooh!

Not even you, Roksana?

I chose the wrong topic.

Um...

Transgender issues
don't interest me much after all, because...

because they're boring.

Boring as...

Uh...

Boring as something very boring.

This isn't because of Roksana.

I'm the one that messed it up.

I'm sorry,

but transgender issues are boring.

Because gender is boring.

Because it's like a label.

And I don't know
if anyone's interested in labels.

Some might be, but...

not us.

Thank you, um,
for your good intentions.

But to be clear,
you still have to complete the project.

All right then.
Um, let's maybe move on to the next pair.

Careful. Turn right here. Come on, right.

Good.

Right one.

See? No trace of it.

Uh-huh. How come there's no one here?

I gave them the day off.

- Together.
- On three.

One, two...

Where?

Let's go.

What?

Okay. Let's do it like this.

- Facing each other?
- Yeah, facing each other.

One, two, three.

Oh, that's good.

LEON
I WANNA TALK

TOSIEK
I'M WORKING WITH MY DAD

There's some glass...

CAN I COME OVER?

...left over.

We need to sweep it.

Mmm. Got... Got some on my face.

- Right? Napkin.
- Yeah, you got some here.

Hello there.

Hello.

Mmm, damn it.

I forgot what time it is.

The store should still be open.

Silicone. It won't buy itself.

All right. I'll be going then.

I'll eat on the way.

See you later on.

I'm listening.

What did you wanna discuss?

I didn't hang out with you
only so that I would have a cover.

Okay.

Initially I did.

But then I realized that...

I like you.

And Konrad?

What about him?

Well, I've seen you with Konrad.

I'm not into Konrad.

I'm into you.

I'm just joking. Really.

You do this.

- One more time.
- Quickly.

Relax your stomach.
You're still too tense.

You just gotta let the air come down here.

Not like that,
you gotta do it quickly.

Come to me!

I think your old man is back.

Everything here was smashed up.
The boss was pissed...

Hello?

Oh, hey.

You weren't supposed to be at work today.

What's the problem?
There's enough room for all of us, right?

- Nah, forget it.
- Beers?

- There's no point. Let's go.
- What do you mean?

You said no one's here.

How was I supposed to know

the boss's daughter
would have the idea to come here too?

Dude, that's a chick?
For real though?

- Got a problem with me?
- Tosiek, come on...

Tosiek? Tosiek!

- I can't even...
- Yeah, Tosiek.

- Whether you like it, or not, it's Tosiek.
- We're leaving, guys, okay?

Why are you in such a hurry, pal?

- Why are you so on edge, girl?
- You talking about yourself?

- f*ck you say?
- All right, Arek. Come on.

See you, guys. Tosiek, let's go.

You're leaving so soon?

- Are you scared?
- Hey.

Don't touch me. You scared?

- Stop.
- You're more scared than a chick.

And you're so brave, huh?
Why? 'Cause there's three of you?

f*cking what?

- f*ck, Oskar, you moron!
- I'm sorry, man!

Get a grip on yourself.
I'm gonna have to clean this up tomorrow.

Come on, man, f*ck.

He's gone.

f*ck me! Oh, man!

Got a brave f*cking boyfriend, huh?

- Cool guy. Okay, let's go.
- All right. Let's get outta here.

- Pack it up.
- See ya!

Move your ass, Oskar!

f*cking p*ssy.

Tosiek.

Tosiek, I'm sorry.

Tosiek.

Don't be mad at me, okay?

Did they hurt you?

I'm a mistake, I know.

I'm a failure.

Mrozowska.

I thought you'd come to your senses.

Your odds are not good.

Not good.

God, you old hag,
how much must you hate yourself, to...

enjoy picking on pretty girls so much?

Tosia.

Lately, I regret
not being able to pick on you.

Such a pretty face, huh?

Stay away from my face.

What did you say, missy?

Young man.

Stay outta my face.

It's my business
how I dress and how I look.

And I use he/him pronouns,
so please address me accordingly.

Listen up, missy...

School is no place
for such antics and dress-up,

and everything that you represent.

I've been watching you
for some time, and I'll be honest,

- one more stunt, young lady, just one...
- Excuse me...

- Excuse me, Professor.
- One more stunt.

Emilia?

Nobody cares
what you have to say about it.

Sit down.

First, apologize to Matylda and Tosiek.

Did you watch too many American movies?

So, respecting other people
is something only from American movies?

If you don't like people...

Then you shouldn't be working in a school.

Maybe you should find some hobby
to help you deal with the stress?

I said sit down.

- Maybe yoga?
- Or origami?

- Try go-kart racing?
- Mindfulness meditation helped my mom.

I play League of Legends, ma'am,
and I'm looking for a new clan member.

Or just set up a profile on Tinder.

This class is over.
You'll all regret this.

- That's three nos. Thanks.
- You'll regret this!

Goodbye!

Hey, thanks. Seriously.

Okay, don't get so emotional.

I'm doing it for me too. There are limits
to them butting into our lives.

I did it.

Did what?

Nah. You weren't even there at that party.

You see? You're doing it even now.

Humiliating me.

You only think about yourself.

And they still like you,
and they still invite you to parties.

It's so unfair!

You don't even...
You don't care what other people feel.

What I feel, what Leon feels,
what Konrad feels.

You think you're so effing cool,
hanging out with Leon?

Tell me, do you ever talk to him?

Do you know how he's doing?

Do you know that his parents
cut all ties with him because he's gay?

Do you know that last year
he spent three months in the hospital,

because someone beat him up
for dancing with some guy?

No!

No! You don't know that!

You don't, 'cause you don't care
about anything other than yourself!

How do you know this?

Because maybe, contrary to you,

it crossed my mind
to actually talk to him about it.

Hello?

Hi.

Hi, sonny.

How're things with you guys?

Good. Yeah, good.

Um, yeah, it's good.

And how are you?

I'm fine.

Yeah?

And how's school?

Do you think I could speak to Dad?

Uh, you know what?

No, um, he's very busy
and he won't be able to come to the phone.

Don't listen to him,
he's always exaggerating.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Glad you dropped by. Come in.
Careful, careful. Low door frame.

Listen up,
let's drink to, uh, to redheads.

To redheads!

...politically correct at this table?

My Tosia's gone.

There's Tosiek.

I'm going to miss her.

Yeah.

You will.

Sit down.
What were you discussing out there?

We were quitting smoking.

What's so amusing
about apples? No.

Film us when we're eating the apple pie.

- Magda, look here.
- Yeah?

Come on, look here.

Is your hair real or dyed?
Let them loose!

Let's have a contest now.
A contest for the best hair color.

Sexy!

So much hair!

Don't play with the hair, please!

Should I cut your hair too?

We're gonna cut Daddy's hair, huh?

Yes!

Well, look at you.

It's nice.

- Look.
- Do you like it?

Your new short haircut?

We're all blondes.

- Yours is the shortest.
- I'm about to go bald. Won't be anything...

There was this stage once.

It started somewhere around kindergarten.

Some boy really impressed you.

His name was Daniel.

See there?

And you... you wanted to be like Daniel.

You even told us to call you Daniel.

You told us to cut your hair.

Skirts were out of the question.

Should I cut your hair too?

And my mom?

- Did she allow all that?
- Of course.

Why didn't you tell me about all this?

Mmm, I just didn't know how.

I always thought I had to be
like my mom, because she's gone.

That somehow, she'd want that for me.

And for you.

I thought it would be better for you.

For me?

What could've been better for me, huh?

Thinking I was weird all my life,
that I was seriously f*cked?

Did you think that, I don't know,

you'd pretend that this doesn't exist
and it really wouldn't?

I was afraid
of what was happening, Tosiek.

I know that I completely f*cked things up.

It'll be all right.

It'll be all right, kid.
You'll see, we'll handle it.

There's nothing wrong with you, okay?

You hear that?

There's nothing wrong with you, okay?

Dad, I think I did something really wrong.

What?

Did you argue with Mom?

Of course, yeah.

And how did you make up?

We talked to each other.

And if she didn't want to talk?

Rather, it was me who didn't.

So, what would she do then?

She wouldn't give up.

Koko, do you know where Leon is?

I do.

Will you tell me?

At home.

I'm at his home. He's definitely not here.

He went back to his parents.

Do you know where they live?

No.

Are you free right now?

- Think this'll work?
- It's all we've got, right?

We should get a girl.
Girls are better at this.

They can smile, flutter their eyelashes...

Yes, yes, yes. I've got an idea.

Hi, would you like to help me and Koko
break into the principal's office?

We need someone
who can flutter her eyelashes.

Super. Okay, see you, then.

Is that your bicycle, Maks?

- Yeah.
- Hmm.

Miraculously found.

Stolen bike.

Stealing each other's bikes
become the norm nowadays?

It was borrowed.

Without asking? Without permission?

- I forgot.
- Hmm.

I loaned it to them a while ago.

A buddy needed help, so I helped him.

Now we need your help again.

It's about Leon.

Ms. Ewa! There's a fire!

- What? What? Where?
- In the chemistry lab!

I was doing an experiment,
but I might've messed up the proportions.

Do you smell smoke?

I smell it.

Hey, my geography test.

Hey! Oh.

Good morning.

We need Leon's address.
I mean, Leon's parents.

Leon took his transcript yesterday
and gave up his scholarship.

But we really need it anyway.

All right.

In 54 miles, turn right.

Hey, what's with the rainbow?

He wasn't at home?

Wait, that's him! Hold on, pull over.

Leon!

Dude!

THE END
PEACE & LOVE

WHAT NEXT? THEY KISSED FOREVER!

THE STAR & CINDER FOREVER

I'M SORRY

LET'S DO IT!

I'M AFRAID. BUT I WANT TO ANYWAY

This is how the story
of the Star's and Cinderella's band ends.

They lived happily ever after,
somewhere very far away or quite near.

And all that junk.

We're outta here. Later.

No one is a failure.

No one is a mistake.

He's afraid, and I am too.

But that's okay.

Who we are is okay.

BASED ON THE NOVEL "FANFIK"
BY NATALIA OSIŃSKA
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