01x07 - Blanky Hanky Panky / Talk To Me Baby / Hip Hop Flop

[bunniefuu]

Baby!

Sassy!

Studly.

Check the pecs. Hee! Ha! Huh!

Man, I'm pretty.

Do the monkey with me! Come on!

Hey there, baby.

Oh! Uh!

Yeah, whatever.

WOMAN ON TV:

Terror grips Aron city.

All across the town

the city's yarn is disappearing.

Huh?

Looks like a job for

that angry old chick

that solves mysteries

and everything.

It's winter in the city,

and not a sweater, mitten,

or scarf remains intact.

In fact, the yarn

and wool shortage is so bad,

some children have even

been reduced

to wearing corduroy pants

and velour tops

that have been too small

for years.

Mr. Mayor! Do you have

anything to say?

People of Aron city...

Don't be alarmed.

The situation will

soon be under control.

What? They're clean.

Only one piece of yarn is left

in all of Aron city,

the baby blanket

of one Johnny Bravo.

That's right. Hyah!

And nobody gets to hold

my blanky except me.

And you, sweetcakes.

Ew...

Citizens of Aron city!

Me and a few of the girls

have formed an angry mob

to catch this yarn thief!

Aw, mama,

you formed a what?

Take whatever booty

you find,

but the beast is mine!

Bye-bye, Johnny.

Ok...

Back to me.

Do you have anything

you want to say to this yarn bandit?

Uh...No.

But how'd you like to hang out

and watch my blanky with me?

I'd rather be hit

by a meteorite.

Whoa!

As soon as I get my claws

on Johnny Bravo's blanky, Pookie,

I, Dr. Felinius,

will finally have enough yarn

to rule the world!

How are you going to

do that with yarn, boss?

I...Uh...

Silence!

Get me my milk.

Thank you, Pookie.

And in today's news--

No.

And in today's news--

No.

And now

a scene from next week's Babewatch.

Bull's-eye,

baby!

Jasmine,

I think I'm pregnant.

Oh, David, you can't

be pregnant.

You're a man.

Oh. Hey--

Want to watch my

chest hairs move in slow motion?

Ok.

Hyah! Uh!

Blanky secure, Johnny.

Oh, yeah!

Pookie,

you distract Bravo,

and I shall seize

his precious blanky.

You got it, boss.

Hee hee hee!

Hey, you--

distractingly cute kid.

Why don't you go

bother the kid next door?

She's got a thing

for you types.

Hee hee hee!

See you later, skater!

Nooooo!

Somebody's cruising

for a bruising.

Hey, I don't remember there

being a big ball of yarn

being on top of Mt. Melmar.

Huh! My blanky!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Finally, Pookie,

I have it!

The last shred of yarn

in all the city!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Hyah! Mister,

we can do this two ways.

The hard way--hyah!

Or the--the other way

that's--that's harder and...

just get out of my way,

'cause I'm going

to hurt you, man.

Haw! Haw! Haw!

Hyah! Aw, man,

I hate furballs.

Hyah!

Ha!

Hyah!

Hyah!

Whoa! Oh!

Well, poop!

Excellent!

With you out of the way,

I will unravel

this blanket

and place it in my yarn ball.

It will then have enough mass

to roll down and crush the city!

Uh-huh. I follow you.

But, mister,

I beg of you,

do what you want

to the city,

but leave my blanky

out of this, ok?

I've had that blanky ever since I was

a little heartbreaker.

Hyah! Hee! Ha! Ho!

I played with my blocks on it.

I got my first kiss on it.

Oh!

But mostly,

my mama made it for me.

A touching story.

But I don't care!

Ha ha ha!

Hey, boss, give the kid

his blanky back.

Silence!

Do as I say or--

Meow!

Hiss!

My blanky!

Hyah!

Ha!

Hey! Hey,

what's going on?

Whoa!

When I get my hands on

that traitorous kitten, I'll--

Whoa!

Oh. Ow. Ooh.

What was I thinking?

I was wrong to steal

all that yarn.

I-I've changed.

There he is!

Hello, people of

Aron city.

The crisis is over

thanks to this young man.

Johnny Bravo.

Hey!

What about us?

Oh, oh, right.

And thank you to

our local angry mob.

Yay!

Why aren't you back in a suit,

your honor?

Well, the better to--

All right...

because these are the boxers

that will build a bridge

to the 21st century.

Huh!

I--I have to

tell you something.

I'm a dog!

Don't be silly, Jeanette.

You're beautiful.

No. I mean...

Ew! Man, I hate when

that happens.

Ha!

And now,

here's the host of our show,

cover girl supermodel Vendela!

Whoa, mama!

Oh, man.

I love it when supermodels

get their own talk shows.

What I wouldn't give

to meet one of them.

And if you'd

like tickets for Vendela,

simply call 213-555-0190.

TV...

You've never let me down.

How many times do

I have to tell you,

I have a boyfriend!

Well, you look like

the kind of girl that could use two.

Huh!

Oh...

Hello, everybody!

Yay!

We had a problem with

our male guest today.

Can I find a--

volunteer?

Man, you smell pretty.

Augh!

Is that a yes?

Hello! Welcome to Vendela!

Yay!

Today's episode:

Muscle-bound men

and the women who think

they're poop-heads.

MEN IN AUDIENCE:

Boo!

Our guests include

self-proclaimed macho man

Johnny Bravo!

Boo! Boo!

And Jane Smoo,

author of Big Muscles,

Small Mind.

Yay!

Nice to be here.

So, Jane,

what's the deal?

Well, Vendela,

the problem with men

like Johnny

is they are completely

narcissistic!

Hey, wait a minute.

Did she call me a sissy?

Men like Johnny are afraid

of strong women!

Hey, hey, hey,

I ain't scared of

no big ol' buff women.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah?

Grrrr!

Raaar!

Does this scare you?

Hey, lady or no lady,

I can't let you bust up babycakes' talk

show set, all right?

Thanks, babycakes.

No, thank 10 years of rodeo training in

Salinas, California.

And don't call me

babycakes.

Whoa!

Ouch.

And you, Jane--

put down those audience members.

Sure, Vendela.

Ugh!

Ooh!

And we'll be right back.



So, Vendela...

you want to see

my superpowers?

Hyah!

No. But maybe

you'd like to see my superpowers.

Huh!

You there--fight!

Huh!

Ha! Ha!

Huh! Ha!

Ha!

They don't call us

supermodels for nothing.

You got to love it.

And 3, 2, 1...We're back.

We're here with

Johnny Bravo.

He's healthy.

Ooh...

He's agile.

You got that right.

Check this out.

Huh! Hyah! Hyah!

Ooh! Ow! Ooh!

Ahh...

But is he

a dinosaur?

Huh?

No, actually

I'm a dinosaur.

Ah. But let's compare

the two, shall we?

They're both pretty much

pure muscle.

All that and a bag

of chips, baby.

They both have brains

the size of an electron.

Electron?

That's how America

picks her presidents.

Oh.

And they're both

extinct.

Stop calling T-Rex

extinct!

You know how impossible it is for

T-Rex to get a driver's license

when people think

T-Rexes don't exist?

Now, hold on there,

fruit cup.

How can you be so cruel

to stupid animals?

Hey, who you

calling stupid?

At least T-Rex knows

what an electron is.

MAN IN AUDIENCE:

Hey!

What's on your mind,

sir?

Johnny shouldn't

be allowed to talk

to the dinosaur

like that.

How could you allow him

to call you a fruit cup?

We shouldn't let him

get away with that.

Get Johnny Bravo!

Now we're going to see

who's extinct.

See you in a museum,

you fossil.

Huh! Hyah!

Huh! Tomorrow

on Vendela...

Huh! Ha!

TV v*olence. Ho!

Where do they get off?

Ha!

Ooh! Oh, mama.

That's a good question.

And cut!

Hello. Welcome to Vendela!

Yay!

Before we start,

I'd like to give a

special hello to Johnny Bravo,

who is recuperating

at the hospital.

Aw...

She wants me.

And as soon as

you're healed,

we would love to have you back.

How about you heal me

with your love, pretty mama?

And we'll be right back

with today's topic:

Does love hurt?

Yay!

Ooh...

Is that a yes?

Oh, mama!

Mr. Vulture,

how many licks does it take

to get to the sugary center

of a sugar sucker?

Good question.

Go ask Johnny Bravo.

Mr. Bravo,

how many licks--

Hey! Free lollipops!

Thanks, kid.

Lots of extra room

in those pants,

ma'am.

Yo, I want to be

stylin'

for the Round Pound

concert tonight.

Round Pound?

You do know who

the Round Pound is.

Do I know who

the Round Pound is?

Ha! We're like this.

But enough about them.

Let's get back to us.

Hey, check it out!

It's the Round Pound's ride!

Yo, if you're so

tight with them,

get them to pull over.

Hey, my groovy man.

Long time no see.

Yo. I ain't got

no change, G.

And why don't you

get yourself a j-o-b?

A job.

Ha! Now you're

chillin', yo.

S-s-see? I told you

we were friends.

Yo, I can't be with

a man if he's not down.

Unless I see you

at the concert,

you can talk to

my hand.

Is that a date?

Yo, C.D. Biggenz,

I'm famished.

You and your big self.

You're always hungry.

Why don't you just chill?

I'm serious, C.D.,

come on.

If I don't get

a sandwich or something,

I'm going to eat the first thing

I get my hands on.

Yo, you're not thinking...

Mmm...

Yo, yo--wait a minute!

Could have used

hot sauce.

Yo, what's up

with you, man?

How am I supposed

to spin my sounds tonight?

Oops.

Don't worry, man.

I'm sure there's a sound store

around here someplace.

Yo. I can't go no further.

I'm all out,

man.

I'm out.

Yo, we'll never

make it to a store.

We're going to have

to cancel the show.

Say, aren't you

the Round Pound?

Yeah. What's up?

Wha-wha?

I was just wondering

if y'all had any extra tickets

to tonight's show.

Man, you find us a turntable,

and we'll put you in the show.

In the show?

I can't be with a man

if he's not down.

Can you teach me

how to be...Down?

Whatever that means.

You go get

the turntables, G.,

and we'll put you in the Round Pound

school of hip-hop.

Aw, that's so cool!

Hyah! Huh!

Man, that was quick.

Yeah, I know.

Check it out, guys.

Now that's dope.

So I can be in the show?

What did you say

your name was?

Johnny. Huh!

Johnny Bravo.

Johnny B.

My man.

You got it made

in the shade.

Yo, yo,

check this out, J.B.

If you want to be hip-hop,

you've got to have two things:

attitude and style.

Yeah. But if

you want to look stupid fresh,

you got to get

with the right sneaks and cap.

Mister, I don't think you want to make

me look stupid.

Naw, naw--in hip-hop

stupid means

really something

that's stupid fly.

It's really cool, man.

Know what I'm saying?

Oh. Stupid.

Like these kicks.

Kicks?

Yeah, man.

You know--

Full-leather,

self-lacing, velcro-tying pumps.

Oh, so I just pump them up

like this.

Uh-oh. Whoa!

Whoa!

Was that stupid or stupid?

Oh, yeah.

If you're gonna

be down,

you got to wear

a cap.

Cap?

Yeah. You got

to find a hat.

That's phat,

kid.

It's fat?

Yeah, man, phat.

Like in cool.

Uh, am I down yet?

No.

But you're stupid

and phat.

Duh, me, too!

Ladies and gentlemen,

give it up for the Round Pound!

Yeah, give it up,

give it up, represent.

Do you know what

time it is?

Yeah, ya'll--

♪ Time to throw your hands

in the air ♪

♪ Shake them like

you just don't care ♪

♪ I'm C.D. Biggenz

in the house ♪

♪ I'm ready to jam

and turn it out ♪

Yeah, know what I'm saying?

Represent.

♪ I'm Heavy C.,

that's who I be ♪

♪ Everybo-bo-bo-body

wants a piece of me ♪

♪ The name's Main Flavor,

that's who I am ♪

♪ All the girlies like me,

but I like ham ♪

You go boy,

you go boy.

♪ So y'all get ready

with the funky sound ♪

♪ 'Cause it's time to get busy

with the Round Pound ♪

I knew that blonde-haired poser

was perpetrating a fraud.

And now,

the latest add-on to our crew,

Johnny Bravo.

♪ Now everybody go, "hyah!" ♪

- Huh?

- No, hyah!

Hyah!

♪ Go, "whoa, mama!" ♪

Whoa, mama!

♪ Now everybody

in the house scream! ♪

Aah!

Johnny!

I love it when chicks

scream for me.

So, was I

funky fresh?

You were da b*mb.

Was I full

in effect?

You were in the house.

Was I all that?

Oh, plus a bag of chips.

Huh! Ha!

So what do you say

you and me go grab some chow?

Aw, sorry, homes.

No can do. Me and Myron

have plans at the Estate.

Myron?

Sure, Myron Jones.

He owns the place.

And he's down.

Ready to go,

buttercup?

You betcha, schnooky.

See? I told you

he was down.

Mommy is so much

looking forward to meeting you.

Word.

Aw, man--that's whack!