01x08 - Beach Blanket Bravo / Day The Earth Didn't Move Around Much / The Aisle of Mixed Up Toys

[bunniefuu]

Baby.

Sassy!

Studly!

Ooh!

Check the pecs.

Hyeh! Hyah! Hyuh!

Oh, man, I'm pretty.

Do the monkey with me.

Come on!

Hey there, baby.

Ah!

Yeah, whatever.

Oh, yeah...Special!

Hey, Babearella.

That's a pretty eensy-weensy,

teeny-weeny polka-dot thingy

you got going there.

Want to do

the monkey with me?

Come on. Hyuh!

The monkey?

Hey, everybody,

do the monkey!

[cheering]

Hi there.

Want to go swimming?

No way, daddy-o.

You're a shark. You'll eat me.

Darn it!

They're on to me.

I better work

a different angle.

Ooh!

Ow.

What?

Everybody's doing it.

SHARK:

Hi there.

Want to go swimming?

I'm not a shark.

There's a beach

full of bikini teeny-weeny babes,

and you want me

to go swimming with you?

Come on.

It'll be fun.

I've only got two words

for you, mister: no.

[sigh]

Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah.

Come and get it, ladies.

I'm yours for the takin'.

Franny, a woman's place

is in the kitchen.

Oh! Andy, you're

such a goo-goo head!

You're not my boyfriend

anymore.

Well, that suits me

just fine!

Oh, you'll be sorry,

mister.

Just wait until I take some other guy

to the Wienie Roast.

Oh, yeah? What guy?

Hyah!

Dreamy hunk

right here.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Want to go to the Wienie

Roast with me tonight?

Oh, yeah.

I think

you're marvy.

Well, actually, I'm Johnny. Hyah!

Johnny Bravo.

Hey, pal,

are you cutting in on my time?

Come again?

Raiding my chick

coop, daddy-o.

What?

Don't worry about him, Johnny.

He's just a nobody.

Now, come on and buy me

a chocolate malted.

A chocolate what-ed?

I'm telling you, Melon Head,

if I don't win back Franny,

I'm going to go

completely goo-goo.

Gee, Andy,

that's too bad.

I guess you won't

have the heart

to win the king of

the beach contest.

Melon Head,

you're a genius!

I am?

Sure. If I win

the king of the beach contest,

Franny will come

running back to me.

But enough about me.

Let's talk about me.

What do you think

of me?

[yawns]

Oh, Johnny...

You are so swell.

Tell me about it.

No. I mean, really.

Tell me more

about it.

Ohh!

Franny's mine,

you loosey-goosey!

Loosey-goosey?

I challenge you

to the king of the beach

competition.

Did you say loosey-goosey?

Unless, of course,

you're chicken.

Bawk! Bawk! Bawk!

That does it, kid!

You have just earned yourself

a serious butt-kickin'.

[all gasp]

Be careful, Mr. Bravo.

Andy's wiry,

but he's small.

[applause and cheering]

What am I supposed

to do with this?

You're supposed

to jazz the glass.

Uh-uh, man.

That sounds nasty.

No, no. What kind

of square are you?

Smooth the curl.

No way, kid.

I ain't smoothing no curl.

This hair is

my crowning glory. Hyah!

No, no.

Trip the wave fantastic.

Come again?

Surf, daddy-o, surf!

Ohh.

Good morning,

everybody.

I'm going to be

the surfing judge.

Why? We don't need

no surfing judge.

Now, I'll just swim

out a little ways,

and the first surfer

that gets to me wins.

Say, you're not

a shark, are you?

Nah. Heck, no.

I'm, uh...Richard Nixon.

Oh, ok. Cool.

Thanks for getting us

into China and everything.

Surf's up, man!

Oh, boy. Groovy!

Dig it!

Check me out!

It's a tie.

Hey...That shark

just ate those guys.

Hey, everybody,

do the shark attack.

[cheering]

I got to warn you.

I'm the big kahuna around here.

The big ka-what-a?

Never mind.

Just catch that wave.

Oh, man, this is

not good for my hair!

[coughing]

Oh, yeah.

One little spray

will hold you all day.

Ohh!

Whoa!

I now crown you

king of the beach.

My hero!

You know, I may have

this thing on my head,

but at least

I got the girl.

Ow. My eye.

Listen, Franny,

you're a swell kid.

You don't need any

of this phony jazz.

Maybe you'd understand it

a little better if I sang it to you.

♪ When a guy digs

a way-out chick ♪

♪ But she's been

putting him down ♪

♪ Only one thing

will set him straight ♪

♪ And keep him

hanging around ♪

♪ That thing is

love, love, love ♪

♪ That thing is love ♪

Oh, Andy,

you're so hootie.

I just love it

when you sing.

Let's kiss

and make up.

♪ When a chick

digs a way-out guy ♪

♪ And he digs

that way-out chick ♪

♪ If they want

to be together forever ♪

♪ Only one thing

will do the trick ♪

♪ That thing

is love, love, love ♪

♪ That thing is love ♪

JOHNNY:

Ah, man.

This is the last time

I come to the beach.

Hi there.

My name's Martha Washington.

Want to go

for a swim?

[people whispering]

Order! Order in the court!

Mr. Bravo, your apparent lack

of good judgment

yesterday is by all accounts

inexcusable!

What on Earth possessed you

to do the things you did?

Well, your honor,

it all started yesterday morning.

We had a power outage.

Don't know

exactly how it happened.

Well, Mark, looks like

the new scissor-tipped fighter jet

is going to be A-Ok.

[rooster crows]

Anyway, when I noticed the VCR

blinking 12:00 over and over,

I thought what any warm-blooded

American would have thought,

given the same situation.

Looks like time's frozen

for everybody but me.

Hyah!

JOHNNY, VOICE-OVER:

The faucets weren't running,

which made sense because

the water

was probably stopped

in time inside the pipes.

[dog barking]

Well, sh**t, here's

your problem, Mrs. Bravo--

German shepherd

in the plumbing.

Well, that's a relief.

Last time it was a man.

Hmm...I bet if I held

perfectly still,

I could balance

this egg on my nose.

JOHNNY, VOICE-OVER:

Yeah.

It was the people, too.

Everybody was

dead-frozen in time.

[horns honking]

Boy, all this honking isn't doing

anybody any good.

Yeah. It's definitely

not moving the traffic.

We should all

just shut up.

Maybe even get

some sleep.

Now you're talking.

[people snoring]

Oh, mama!

I felt like I was in

the twilight zone or something,

and I figured

I'd better check this out.

Oh, man, this stuff's

like quicksand.

The more you try to get out,

the deeper you sink in.

I'd best just hold still.

JOHNNY, VOICE-OVER:

It was actually kind of fun

to see what everybody was doing

at the moment time froze.

And then I started to think

about the possibilities

of my situation.

No time meant no rules.

Nobody was going to bust me

for doing anything

I wasn't supposed to do.

Oh, yeah!

This could be entirely groovy.

Steady, Billy,

steady.

Aw, Billy,

look what you did.

Oh, sorry, dad.

Look, run downstairs

and get the blow-dryer.

Otherwise I'm going

to have to stand here all day with this.

Ah, mama! Free candy!

Ooh! Peanut butter,

bananas. Ooh!

Oh, mama!

[loud stomping]

[groaning]

Oh!

[stomping]

Ron, look!

It's a manatee.

RON:

You mean

the sea cow?

WOMAN:

Yes! They're

so frightening.

Now, don't move a muscle.

Their eyesight isn't as good as ours.

Oh, Ron,

I was so scared!

There, there.

He's gone, honey, far away.

JOHNNY, VOICE-OVER:

All that candy

was giving me an appetite

for some real food,

so I figured this was

my one good chance

to dine at the ritziest in town.

Yeah. I'd be eating

fancy tonight.

Hey, guys, what say

we play charades

while we let

the duck meat thaw?

All right. Pick one.

Hmm...A rock?

Ok, here goes.

Hmm...Looks

difficult.

We're going to

need a moment of silence

to figure

this one out.

JOHNNY, VOICE-OVER:

Well, there was plenty

to choose from.

Man, did they have

some fine-looking desserts!

Yummy!

I decided to load up.

[people gasp]

Power outage.

Think it'll

happen again?

Let's wait and see.

[burp]

Check, please.

What? No charge?

Why, thank you very much.

Ha ha!

Guess it was a fluke.

Well, let's not let it

spoil our dinner.

Well, I was about ready

for some shuteye

after such a big

whopping meal,

and, hey, why knock off

my new high-class lifestyle now?

I was going to spend the night

at the Waldorf Hysteria. Hyah!

Ok, everybody,

this is a holdup!

[all gasp]

Now, I'm going to go

empty the safe.

If anybody moves a muscle

before I get back,

y'all are

going to get it.

JOHNNY, VOICE-OVER:

Well, with time frozen still,

it wasn't hard for me

to get a room key.

Hey, what do you think, mister?

This a nice room?

Hey, If you're a loser,

don't say nothing.

I thought so.

Aw, mama!

Now, this is the life!

Hyah!

Aw, figures.

TV's frozen, too.

[snoring]

Ah...more peanut butter.

MAN:

Well, we're back.

Let's see how the Duke boys are

going to get out of this one.

[rooster crows]

All right, fella,

you're coming with us!

Oh, mama!

Time is back

with a vengeance.

And that's the whole

story, your majesty.

Your honor.

Oh, you don't have

to call me that.

You see,

I thought time had already stopped.

I guess

I screwed up, huh?

Ha ha ha!

What a delightful little tale.

Mr. Bravo, I sympathize

wholeheartedly.

And to think this was all

started by a blinking VCR.

My word, if I had a nickel

for all the trouble

I've had with those things--

why, one time, I thought I was

stuck in July 23 for 6 weeks!

Ha ha ha!

Case dismissed!

[people cheer]

Oh, Johnny,

I knew you were innocent.

Me, too, Johnny.

How about we all go out

for a fudge sundae?

Why not?

We've got all the time

in the world. Hyah!

Hi.

I'm Johnny Bravo, and--

Hey!

What the--

now hold on a--

BIII!

Blah!

Hee-haw!

Mama!

Sorry about that, folks.

Hey, look, I'm counting!

TV:

Look, I don't want

to alarm the passengers,

but there's a b*mb on this bus,

and if you go over



Actually,

that's all right.



the speed limit.

Oh, well, I guess

we're ok then.

[expl*si*n,

screaming, and sirens]

Man, I dig

these action flicks.

[doorbell rings]

Hyah!

That must be my pizza.

Hey, where's

the mushrooms?

Hello, sir.

Would you care to donate a toy

to the kids

with empty rooms foundation?

Ha ha ha!

No, seriously,

where's the mushrooms?

Huh?

Never mind.

[doorbell rings]

Buttercups!

I'm going to have to go get the spray.

Look, I thought

I said--

W-w-w-wah...

You weren't very nice

to my sister.

That little girl

is your sister?

All we want

is a toy donation.

Ah, boy, I don't

know if I got any toys.

Oh, well, sorry

to bother you then.

Let's go, Caroline.

No. Wait.

If you give me 20 minutes,

I'll run down to Eternitoys and get you

something really happenin'.



We've got the rest

of the block to cover.

Right. 10 minutes.

Don't go nowhere.

Hyuh!

I'll be

right here.

Ooh!

Can I help you, sir?

Yeah. I need to find

some toys fast.

How much you

looking to spend?

Um...

What guy is that again?

George Washington.

George Washington...

Yeah, I got one George Washington.

Hmm. A dollar.

Well, there's our

discount section, aisle 6

for defective

or otherwise damaged toys.

You might be able

to find something there.

Thanks, Chachi.

Aw, mama.

Decisions, decisions--

and I got

to make one fast.

Let's see now.

What's this thing?

Hi. I'm a Keith doll.

Holy guacamole.

You talked!

Sure did. Guess what.

I'm defective,

but that's ok.

I'm still happy

with who I am.

Well, what's wrong

with you?

I'm wearing white pants.

- So?

- It's after Labor Day.

That's a fashion no-no.

Needless to say,

Barbie won't go out with me.

What a snot, huh?

What a snot!

Ok, what else

we got here?

That's general

issue Jeremy.

He's got one arm

and one leg.

Left. Left. Left. Left.

I also got kung-fu grip.

Hyah!

Ohh...

Hey, watch it,

Beetle Bailey.

You there,

pick me!

What?

There's tons of fun to be had

with the Cubix b*mb.

Cubix b*mb?

What's that all about?

Quite simple,

you blunt-edged plebeian.

Get all the colors right

and I explode, or perhaps I don't.

Perhaps I release

a corrosive venom,

but maybe not.

Maybe I issue forth

a flesh-eating virus.

Is that what's

wrong with you?

No...

the yellow's

on the wrong side.

Oh. Well,

ok, now, I only got a buck here,

so who is it

going to be?

Lucky day.

There just happens to be a



on all discount toys.

Ah, so much

the better.

Ok. Hop in,

everyone.

You, too, Gomer.

No can do, sir.

What's the problem?

I always said

I wouldn't leave this place

without getting my limbs back.

All right, well,

who took them?

Raggy Angelo,

aisle 6...

the toughest villain

this side of the board games.

Now, if I help you

against this Angelo guy,

can we all hurry up

and blow this dollhouse?

You got it.

All right, then.

Aisle 6--hyah!

Here we come.

[evil laugh]

[giggling]

Aw, mama!

I swear that clown

was looking mean at me.

There, at 12 o'clock.

KEITH:

Raggy Angelo!

Should I just

run him over?

Blast you!

Think like a serviceman.

We've got to take him

head-on.

Really, I'm, like,



I could just,

you know--

Quiet, soldier!

You and I are going over there.

All right.

Cover me, Keith.

You got it!

I'm not really going to cover him.

I just said I would.

And I'll inject you all

with pure nitro--oh!

Ah ha ha ha!

So we meet again,

Jeremy.

That's right,

Angelo.

I see you're still

missing that arm and leg

that I tore off you.

I haven't forgotten,

and I'm ready

to return the favor.

Now look, Mr. Angelo,

I'm in a hurry here,

and if I lose me

a date because of this,

I'll turn you

into a potholder.

And just who are you?

I'm Johnny Bravo.

Well, when I get done

with you,

you'll be Johnny nothing!

Wow. That wasn't

even clever.

Enough of this!

Toys, attack!

Oh, mama!

[toys shouting]

Ah ha ha ha!

Adios, fools.

Not so fast, Angelo.

Go, team!

Uh!

Heads up, Angelo.

You're next!

Hyahhh...

Ohh!

What a spaz.

JEREMY:

Hyah!

Aah!

There.

Nooo!

Curse you, Jeremy!

Now we're even,

Angelo.

If you want a new arm, you're going to

have to get it from a share bear.

Ha ha!

You'll pay for this!

Ok, we all set here?

Everybody happy?

Can we go now?

Mount up and move out!

Ha! That's

cowboy talk, Johnny.

It means

yes, we can go now.

Man, remind me never to buy

a discount toy again.

[panting]

Hmph! His 10 minutes

are up.

Let's go, Caroline.

Ok.

I'm back,

and I got you 3 nice little toys

for the kids with empty rooms

foundation.

Uh! That's pathetic.

Where'd you get these, anyway,

the discount aisle?

Come on, Caroline.

Maybe we can find

someone on the next block

who isn't such a jerk.

Well! sh**t! Now what?

Well, you paid for us, Johnny,

so it looks like we're roomies.

Ah, great.

[slurp]

Johnny, this cereal

is fantastic,

possibly the best

cereal ever.

Oh, blast it.

You'd think with all my training,

I could figure out--

Aha!

[beeping]

Ow!

You have 6 seconds

of consciousness left.

Use them wisely.

Ahh...