04x06 - The Good Oil

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "My Life Is m*rder". Aired: 17 July 2019 – present.*
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My Life Is m*rder follows the adventures of fearless private investigator Alexa Crowe, who solves the most baffling crimes as well as coping with the frustrations of everyday life.
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04x06 - The Good Oil

Post by bunniefuu »

[LAID-BACK MUSIC]

Alexa Crowe. [CHUCKLES]
I thought it must be you.

Enzo, you're still working as a courier?

Yeah, I love it.

There's a certain joy in delivering
parcels and letters

that people really want.

The moment when the recipient
receives it,

the expression on their face.

I mean, it makes all
the road rage worth...

while. Something wrong?
Wedding invitation,

it looked like to me.
Weddings are such joyous occa...

- sions.
- Two weeks ago.

- Bugger.
- Well, look... [CLEARS THROAT]

that envelope was second on my list...

it was after a parcel that was
destined for the very top of the island.

And I delivered that in record time.

And I was on my way back, and, um,

I noticed the lighthouse wasn't
lighting up anything at all.

So, you know, it was a stormy night.

I couldn't have any shipwrecks on my
hands,

so I couldn't just drive
on and leave the sea unlit,

so I stopped the van, and I climbed
up the spiral staircase.

It was pitch black. I only had the
torch from my phone. I got there,

and I discovered a seagull in the
lantern room, and it was trapped,

distressed. [SQUAWKS]

So I freed the bird, I fixed the beacon,

and the local community was so grateful

that they asked me to stay on...

and advise them on various other
matters, so, I mean, what could I say?

I say bull. This was probably
stuck on the bottom of your bag

for the last couple of months.

I noticed the wedding's in Queenstown.

- Who was getting married, anyway?
- My mother.

Oh.

Enzo, you're beautiful, and I love you.

What?

- Oh.
- Toodle-oo.

Happy to help. [CHUCKLES]

[FUNK MUSIC]

[MUSIC FADES]

- Why are you so chipper?
- Ever have one of those days where

you feel like you just dodged a b*llet?

Yeah, I think I know what you mean.

Remember the botched robbery at
an organic coconut oil business

- a few months ago?
- Yeah, both the owners were shot,

- and one of them didn't make it.
- Ropati Tavu'i.

Him and his business
partner, Chris Sanders.

They interrupted an intruder
at their store, Tipaula Oil.

Chris suffered a serious
flesh wound, but he survived.

We've got no m*rder w*apon.
We've got no CCTV footage.

We've got no arrests,
case is going cold,

and we've got a traumatised family.

Give me the details of the crime.

Apparently, Ropati was in the storeroom,

and Chris was in the shop. He heard
a g*nsh*t, he came running in.

The intruder was still there,
there was a kerfuffle.

Chris ended up with
a b*llet in his foot.

- Chris can't give you an ID?
- He said it was too dark,

it happened too fast, and the
sh**t got away. Chris called 111,

but Ropati was gone by the
time ambos and police arrived.

What the heck were these guys
doing at the store so late?

They were there to do
a bit of work and unwind

after a fundraiser for
their cultural group.

That's them there.

Ropati had a lot of mana.

He was well loved and
respected by his community

and, it seems, by his family.

Seems?

Ropati's cousin.

Setu Tavu'i.

He manages the cultural group,
and now he's got another job.

Oh, he inherited Ropati's
share of the family business?

You got it. And he
doesn't have an alibi.

Didn't join the couple after the
fundraiser,

said he went home and watched TV.

Oh. No imagination.

Reckon you can help
a family find closure?

Eme Tavu'i, that's Ropati's mum.

She's the kind of woman that
everyone calls Auntie, You know?

She's devastated.

She needs answers.

Harry.

Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com

[SAMOAN MUSIC PLAYS]

Dig a little deeper into the
family's financials, would you?

I wanna know if anyone
gained from Ropati's death.

I'll see if digital
forensics missed anything.

Oh, and Setu's streamer account, too.

Well, the team at the station
confirmed it was in use that night,

but maybe Setu just left it playing.

- That's the Tavu'i Dance Group.
- Yeah.

Oh. Are you looking into
what happened to Ropati Tavu'i?

Did you know him?

Well, my nana's from
the same village as his mum.

For Samoans, family is everything.

I'm about to visit a family
who's lost one of their own.

Mm-hm. Just don't go empty-handed, OK?

Oh. Thanks for the tip.

Actually, you don't wanna
go visit family, do you?

[CHUCKLES]

OK, so, I know a little bit about
the culture,

but have you got any
tips for this palagi?

Uh, well,

don't interrupt any elders
when they're talking

and, um, eat any food
that's given to you.

Eat food, got it.

Ropati always thought of others.

He was clever. He was loyal.

He loved his fa'a Samoa.

- Hi, Auntie.
- This is my palagi son.

This is Chris.

- Malo. Hi.
- Hi, Chris.

You know, I'm so glad police
are finally doing more.

Alexa, ask any questions. Feel
free to look around the house.

- Make yourself at home.
- Thanks very much, Eme.

Chris, I know this
is hard to talk about,

but I need to hear
your version of events,

the night that Ropati died.

Um...

me and Pati were just going back
to the store to return some product,

um, have a drink, unwind, and, uh,

Pati went to the storeroom,

and I was pouring myself a whiskey.

Um, then there was a loud bang,

I just thought he might
have dropped something.

And then there was another
bang, so I ran, and,

um, Pati was on the floor,

and there was someone there,
but there was another bang,

and then the person left. Um...

Um, Pati wasn't moving.

And, um, I didn't even know I'd been
hit.

I couldn't even feel it until I
tried to move.

Um, I was just...

I was just staring at my
bro. I'm sorry. Sorry.

- [SNIFFLES]
- Hey, hey.

It's not your fault, my son.

[SNIFFLES]

Did Setu expect to inherit
Ropati's share of the business?

Setu's thing is the dance group,
but he was always gonna be the go-to

guy if anything happened to me or Pati.

It's a family business.

You've been part of this
family a long time, huh?

I've been living in the
sleepout since I was 12,

ever since Eme took pity on Pati's
scrawny little friend

with the bare feet and hungry tummy.

- [CHUCKLES] I'll take that.
- [CHUCKLES]

Good to see you.

Um, come through any time,
seriously, no stress.

Thank you.

- Cheers.
- See ya.

Ooh la-la.

So Setu inheriting half the
business is not a surprise.

But the business isn't his passion,
that's the dance troupe.

Speaking of, I combed
through Setu's financials.

Just after Ropati died,
there was a deposit of $5000

from the dance group's account
into Setu's personal account.

Then he withdraws the lot.

- Uniforms? A tour?
- Well, five days after,

the whole lot's deposited back into
his account,

and then he transfers
it back to the dance group.

So he needed cash. Check
the Tipaula Store accounts.

Hey, we agreed to recycle.

Is this a wedding invitation?

Yeah. We also agreed
not to be nosy parkers.

You are cordially invited to the...

Is this your mum? Your
mum's getting married?

Got married two weeks ago.

- Wait. You didn't go.
- Good noticing.

- Why not?
- I am taking out the recycling.

Amazing. I'll put some
aside for you. Thank you.

- Talofa.
- Oh, talofa.

Setu Tavu'i?

Alexa Crowe. I'm very sorry
for the loss of your cousin.

I'd like to ask you a few questions,
if you don't mind.

I've got a question for you.

Why are the cops bothering my family?

Well, Auntie Eme doesn't see it as
bothering,

she sees it as helping.

Another one.

What's the average time it takes
for them to solve crimes

for Samoan people,

is there a variance based on ethnicity?

- Listen, I can't comment,
- Yeah you can't comment on it,

because there's a lack of police
data necessary to quantify

rates of bias in this country.

WHISPERS: Listen. I'm not
with the police, all right?

I'm a consultant, of sorts, a satellite.

So just let me go in there
and look around the premises,

all right?

[SNEAKY MUSIC]

Oh.

Hmm.

So warm in here.

Some people add glycerine to the
coconut oil to keep it in its

liquid state.

Uh-huh.

Pati and Chris keep
theirs in a heated room.

Oil stays pure, sells better.

Yeah.

Yo, am I good or am I good?!

We got two buyers back.
They like the new direction.

Wish I could see Fia Collin's face

once she finds out about the rebrand.

Bro, I'll take it over there myself.

Chris? Hi.

- Hello, Alexa.
- Hi. Hey, who's Fia Collins?

- Fia poko.
- What?

Just someone who thinks she's
in competition to our business.

Mogamoga. But we got a
big old can of flyspray.

Damn right, uce.

Well, Tipaula looks like
it's doing really well.

Well, thank you very much
for letting me look around.

Please, any time.

Mogamoga.

[BIRDS SQUAWK]

Setu's streamer account was active
on his home computer

around the time of Ropati's m*rder.

But that doesn't mean he
was actually there, right?

I mean, streaming stops after a while,
if you don't touch the controls.

- Yeah, 90 minutes or three episodes.
- So did it?

No, but he could have turned
on the series, gone out,

and then arrived back in time
to click on episode four.

OK, we have to question Setu
again. He's gonna love it,

- not.
- I can go.

I've got a new interview
technique I wanna try out.

Done.

- Right.
- Hey, check this out.

There is a successful
Fijian cosmetics company

called Fia. The owner, Fia Collins,

is in competition with Tipaula,
but operates on a much bigger scale.

I look for potential in startups,

and I use my knowledge and experience

to nurture and secure their success.

- Knock, knock.
- Just thought I'd stop by and...

see if there was...

any of Eme's pani popo left.

[BOTH LAUGH]

As if.

You know, business
doesn't have to be cutthroat.

What's Fia Collins
got to do with anything?

Do you know everyone?

Successful, intelligent, gorgeous
Fijian Pacific businesswoman,

- how can I not?
- Ooh, a mega-fan.

Well, she hires Pasifika people
and treats them pretty well,

quite inspiring for a
businessman like myself.

What's a mogamoga?

It's a cockroach. Why?

Well, Setu and Chris use that word
in connection

with your business hero here.

- Wow. Harsh.
- Mm-hm.

They must have a reason.

What if Fia was taking advantage of
the tragedy to acquire Tipaula Oil?

Nah.

Fia's all about nurturing
small business, right?

But what if a small business
doesn't wanna be nurtured?

I mean, what happens if
you say no to Fia Collins?

Oh, that's a gorgeous product.

Perfect for you.
These have just come in.

Smell this.

- Fia Collins? Hi.
- My name's Alexa Crowe.

We don't accept
unsolicited sales pitches.

Well, I'm sure glad
that's not what I'm here for.

I've been watching you
from afar, and, uh,

I wanna write your profile
for our magazine, Image.

I've never heard of it.

Well, it's kind of niche, but

our readership is growing exponentially.

And I think you would
be great on our cover.

Can you make a little time?

Well, you need to be committed
to doing what's right,

as opposed to easy.

You know, if I live my life to the
fullest and,

you know, achieve my goals,

then I set an example
to those around me.

And when you take over
these smaller businesses,

Collaborate.

So those small business owners
are partners in all of this?

We are all architects of
our lives and businesses.

You know, unfortunately,

some of them don't have
the staying power that I do.

Right. What about Tipaula Oils?

- Yeah, cute little startup.
- Nothing to do with me.

Oh, I heard that you were
interested in collaborating with them.

- Who'd you hear that from?
- From the owners.

So did you plan to take
over Tipaula Oils

before or after Ropati Tavu'i's m*rder?

Security to my office, please.

You know, my business
dealings are confidential.

You can leave now. Security
will help you find your way.

Another time.

[SAMOAN MUSIC PLAYS]

Yeah.

- [CHEERING]
- [LAUGHS]

That's it, that's it!

[MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]

Let's take five. Yeah. Malo lava.

- Malo.
- Oh. Malo.

How can I help?

I'm Madison,
a colleague of Alexa Crowe's.

You've got no shame.

You interviewed me like
a criminal at work,

and now in front of my dance group.

Would others finding out about
money shifting add to any shame?

Look, I never wanted Ropati's
share of Tipaula.

I'd rather have him back.

Where were you the night Ropati died?

Home. Watching TV.

- What were you watching?
- Squid Game.

Oh, I love Squid Game.

- What's the main character known as?
- Player 456.

And what colour are
the player's uniforms?

Green.

Who died at the end of episode three?

Um...

I don't think you watched that episode.

I think you pressed play,
and then you left.

- Maybe I fell asleep.
- Who falls asleep during Squid Game?

OK, I see you, Olivia Pope,

gorgeous and smart.

Well, the two are
never mutually exclusive.

So what's been happening
with the dance group's money?

- [WHISTLES]
- [CELL PHONE RINGS]

Hey, what's up?

Setu's overwhelmed by
Tipaula's responsibilities.

The money he moved was
apparently for new uniforms,

but the deal fell through,
so he put it back.

Did you buy that?

I don't know, their current
uniforms look good to me.

All right. Keep pressing him on

any connection to Fia Collins,
all right?

Ooh, hey. Gotta go.

Come in.

Guess who is their
mother's favourite son?

Their mother's only son.

Uh, favourite child, then.

[GASPS] You went to the wedding?

Of course I went,

it was in beautiful Queenstown,
with mountains,

scenery everywhere you turn. Free piss.

Anyway, why weren't you there?

I didn't get the invitation in time.

Mum said she tried to
call you a few times.

Is that right? Well,
I guess I missed those calls.

Oh, come on. What, are you gonna
make me guess what your problem is?

Is it with Mum?

Weddings in general? People in general?

No, I know, it's love and happiness
you don't like, isn't it?

All I need to hear from you is why

somebody would nick money from
a not-for-profit, transfer it,

and then transfer it back into the
original account a week later.

Guilty conscience. It's not
something I'm familiar with.

Anything else?

Maybe a financial advisor might
help themselves to a client's money,

with the intention of investing
it and doubling it.

Then they might put the original
amount back and keep the profits.

Ah.

Could go to jail for that.

Sore point, sis,

sore point.

[CELL PHONE DINGS]

[SAMOAN MUSIC PLAYS]

- [SPEAKS SAMOAN]
- [CHEERING]

One more question.

How lucrative is running
a dance group these days?

It's kind of none of your business.

I'm gonna take a gamble and ask anyway.

I bet you must have felt
like you hit the jackpot

when you won enough to pay Ropati's debt

and to replace the money you
borrowed from your tautua.

See where I'm going with this?

He swore it was a one-off.
He was desperate.

His mate had this hot tip about
a horse race that came in.

Setu cleared his debts.

- Personal debts?
- That's what he said.

Or maybe Tipaula Store wasn't
doing as well as they're all saying.

Setu uses the dance group's money
to get Tipaula out of trouble.

- Hmm.
- are we doing here, by the way?

A little after-hours shopping.

And everyone thinks
Willis the problem child.

What about you, tech whiz,
you know how to trip an alarm.

Yeah, yeah. What are
we looking for, anyway?

WHISPERS: Well, I noticed
a safe in Fia's office.

We're safe crackers now?

No, no. No crack, just open.

Oh my life.

WHISPERS: Just take one if
it's gonna help you focus.

They're free samples.

A neodymium magnet would be handy.

Not that you want one laying around
the house,

they interfere with
devices and appliances.

Mm-hm. And pacemakers.

But if you wanna crack into a safe
without a combination

of rare-earth
magnets, a fool proof hack.

What are you doing?

Alexa.

[SIGHS]

- WHISPERS: Rare-earth magnet indeed.
- Definitely the problem child.

I'll get us a copy of
what's on her laptop.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. Looks like
it's a business plan of some sort.

Come on. Who still keeps paper copies?

Wait. These product labels
look almost identical

to Chris and Ropati's Eme label.

WHISPERS: How would Fia
end up with these plans?

- A-copy-acquire-k*ll.
- Eh?

Larger companies acquire smaller ones,

to gain exclusive access to a product,

and then after acquisition,
they k*ll the product,

thereby suppressing potential
rivals and free market dynamics.

It's Economics 101, baby.

WHISPERS: If you are a competitor
who doesn't like competition.

You really think that Fia Collins
went to Tipaula with a g*n?

Maybe she took this copy-k*ll
thing a little too seriously.

[JAZZ MUSIC]

- When does this woman sleep?
- Hmm?

Fia Collins, she's speaking at
this conference, at that workshop,

- there's so many emails.
- Wait.

Do you think Auntie Eme
uses coconut oil or butter?

- In her pani popo.
- Ooh!

Hold the bus. There's an
email from Ropati to Fia.

- Actually, there's several.
- When?

Four months ago.

Fia's all happy-happy, chatty-chatty
about their wonderful products.

And Ropati is stoked to hear
it and keen to talk numbers.

- Did she offer a buyout?
- No. Ropati wanted a deposit,



For that, she wanted business plans

and the designs for the new Eme range.

- Which she still has.
- Mm.

Did you see $30,000 go into
Tipaula's accounts or Ropati's?

And guess what happened
after Ropati sent the designs?

She ghosted him. He sent
email after email, no reply.

And no money. So much for ethical
business practice, Fia.

But if Fia had the Eme product plans,

she didn't need to break into Tipaula.

Maybe Ropati threatened to go
public with her dirty tactics.

Well, the last email does
say she'll regret betraying him.

That sounds like a threat to me.

What lengths would Fia go to
to silence Ropati?

Fia.

WHISPERS: I'm sorry.

Are copy-acquire-k*ll tactics part
of your ethical business approach?

Is trespassing and theft part of yours?

You missed one of my security
cameras. Nice lipstick [!]

Now, you wanted in on Tipaula

because they were succeeding in
the organic coconut market,

so you started discussions to purchase.
But Ropati was too trusting,

he sent you the plans for his
entire range. What did you do?

You never transferred the
deposit that you promised.

You stole his ideas and you
developed your own product.

Show me the contract. Oh, you
can't, because there isn't one.

Did Ropati thr*aten to
expose you, is that it?

I'm a businesswoman,
I k*ll the competition, not people.

And if you two don't leave right now,

I'll show the police last
night's footage.

Your reputation is far too
important to you to report us.

Otherwise, you would
have done it already.

Ooh, definitely this one.

- Yeah, that's good. Harry.
- Sorry about this.

Not a good time, I'm afraid.

Oh. Righto. Be right there.

- I'll be back for this one.
- Well, Mads,

this case is getting hotter.

- Whoa!
- Yeah.

Setu and Chris went for lunch,
came back 20 minutes later,

- car was up in flames.
- Well, it's gotta be related, right?

Well, someone got away with m*rder
, do you really think they're gonna

come back to the scene of
the crime and light a fire?

Right. So forensics have
done their thing already?

Yeah, I think it's a random act,

but you're welcome to see if we've
missed anything.

Ha ha.

[SNEAKY MUSIC]

- Eme.
- Hello, Alexa.

- You made a police report?
- Yes, I have,

but Chris has something
more to tell them.

[CLEARS THROAT] Um, I dropped
a cigarette in the car.

So this is all my fault.

- Vale.
- Setu.

I'll cover the rehearsal, and you
stay here and sort out this mess.

Ioe.

Alexa, could you come with me, please?

Tasi, lua, tolu, fa,
lima, ona, fitu, valu.

[SPEAKS SAMOAN]

[SPEAKS SAMOAN]

[CHEERING]

Chris has a sister, Vanessa,
calls herself Vinnie.

Their family lived on our street
when they were all little kids.

Those poor kids. They were left
to their own devices all the time,

- never any food.
- So Chris came to live with you?

We tried with Vinnie, but she
wanted to stay with her mother.

Yeah. Now she's like a human tornado,

trail of destruction and debts.

So you're saying that this Vinnie
is responsible for the arson?

All I can say is Chris doesn't smoke,

never has for 10 years.

Wow. Vinnie Sanders never went
to a business

she didn't wanna
leave a bad review about.

What's her issue?

Well,
she seems to be getting ripped off,

treated rudely or discriminated
against everywhere she goes.

Hmm.

OK, I'm here at the Pine
View Organic Groceries,

where I have just been
verbally abused by the owner.

Please leave.

Yeah, I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna leave,

because I'm not gonna spend
my money in this dump.

You don't spend money, you just
eat all the free fruit for the kids.

Yeah,
why shouldn't I eat the free fruit?

It's for the kids.

- Yeah, well, I call bulls.
- Hmm. She seems lovely [!]

Could she turn that
explosiveness on Ropati?

I'm guessing we're gonna find out.

- Yes, you are.
- Oh, what? Why me?

Cos you're so good at it.

Well, I did do pretty
brilliantly with Setu, didn't I?

All right. Hey, Vinnie. I'm Madison.

I outsource service reviews
for various publications.

And your reviews are exactly what
we're looking for.

Do you wanna meet up for a coffee?

- That's what I'm talking about.
- [CHUCKLES]

What do you do for a living?

Mm. I'm a promo girl. I mostly, like,

just look nice and hand out these flyers

at the waterfront for this new bar.

I was gonna move to Surfers Paradise
to be,

like, one of those, like,
bikini meter maids,

but turns out I couldn't leave the
country,

unpaid parking fines or something.

And what about your job before this one?

Oh, I worked for my brother,

um, at Tipaula Store.
They sell coconut oil.

Hey, didn't somebody die
at Tipaula Store a while ago?

There was a robbery or something.

Hey, do you reckon these fries
are smaller than normal?

I'm gonna complain, I reckon.

So you don't wanna talk
about how Ropati died?

Or we could talk about how much cash y

ou're gonna pay me for my reviews.

- Sure.
- Bull crap.

I know a liar when I meet one.

Where were you when
the robbery went down?

No way. You're a cop.

I'm a consultant.

Well, I was shopping. I've got
the designer heels to prove it.

- You got a receipt?
- Who keeps receipts?

But that transaction, it'll be
in your bank statements, right?

Look, I didn't sh**t them,
OK? You're crazy. I didn't.

But did you set their
company car on fire?

How dare you?!

There's CCTV footage, Vinnie.

- Yeah, but I'm wearing a hat.
- Sorry?

She'swearing a hat, the person
who did it,

so there's no actual
proof. You know what?

I don't actually like being
treated like I'm a criminal.

I'm going to the bathroom to calm down.

Your friend forgot to pay the bill.

Chris, you knew that Fia Collins
was planning a takeover, right?

Are you joking? That is...

That's our design. That is our brand.

Nau is the Fijian word
of affection for mother.

And your brand was named after Eme,

so that's some pretty blatant
copycatting, isn't it?

We use authentic
cold-pressed coconut oil,

whereas Fia Collins,

she adds glycerine to hers,

just so that it stays liquid.
Spread that to the coconut vine.

Chris, are you sure that
you and Setu had no idea?

Cos I heard you talking about
Fia Collins the other day.

Yeah, cos she's always
been jealous of our success.

Clearly.

[SNEAKY MUSIC]

[SNEAKY MUSIC]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

Hmm.

Then she did a runner
and left me with the bill.

Vinnie Sanders is a nightmare.

Is she a k*ll-someone type of nightmare?

Well, she tells lies, plays the
victim and doesn't have an alibi.

All right, if she wasn't
shopping, where was she?

Oh, surely it's your turn.

Double down, Madison, you got this.

OK, I will channel my inner Alexa.

At least I know where to find her.

Attagirl.

Some pani popo for my
brilliant bilingual mate.

Mmm. Trilingual, I speak Tongan as well.

Well, I just wanted to ask my brilliant

trilingual friend if you could
translate a phrase for me.

Not bad at all. I mean,
it's nothing compared to my mum's.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't think so.

[LAUGHS]

What?

This should be 'O le ala
I le pule o le tautua',

a path to leadership is through service.

It's, like, a well-known proverb.

Right. Well, that's the inspiration

behind Tipaula's Eme product range.

Oh, nah. Nah, nah,
that's not good. That's rude.

- No.
- Mm-hm.

This says, 'O le ala
I le pu o le tautua.'

Translated?

[WHISPERS]

No!

[JAZZ MUSIC]

I want proof for your alibi or
consider yourself a m*rder suspect.

- Prove to me that you were shopping.
- OMG.

- You're brutal.
- Thanks. I'm working on it.

[GIGGLES]

- Malo. Just one question.
- I'm done with this harassment.

Oh, you'll get harassment, when
people hear what you did to Tipaula.

We have had this conversation.

It is not economic espionage,

when someone willingly sends you

their company's confidential information

without having legal
protection in place.

I mean, that is stupid
business. And as a woman,

I have to be 10 times
better than any idiot man.

Word, woman in the police force.

Try adding brown to the list.

Got it.

So, were your business
dealings only with Ropati?

Yes, and I assumed he spoke for all.

- Never met him in person?
- No. Only ever by email.

I mean, it's easier to s*ab someone
in the back

when you don't have to
look them in the eye.

And to clarify,

metaphor.

And that was two questions.

[FOOTSTEPS RETREAT]

Ooh. Mummy's home.

Who let you in?

- Don't need a key.
- So, I've figured it out.

You skipped Mum's wedding,

because you never got
over the big family split.

- Good one.
- You, sis, have daddy issues.

Nah.

- OK, well, what, then?
- Will, it's the fourth wedding.

- I'll go to the next one.
- Maybe it'll be fourth-time lucky.

Nah, she got lucky the second time.

Eh?

- Yeah, that first stepdad.
- He was a good one.

I mean, he was even good at handling
me, and let's face it,

I wasn't the easiest kid,
but then he was gone.

Ooh.

You got stepdaddy issues.
That's even worse.

Let's face it, they're
not obliged to stay in touch,

are they?

Hmm.

Alexa, is this...?

Uh, are we having a vulnerable moment?

Get your hand off it, Will.

Rusty's a good guy. He's
originally from the South Island.

What kind of a name is Rusty?

It's a nickname on account of
the b*llet fragment in his butt.

- Eh?
- Yeah. True story.

In the '70s, him and a colleague
were on a sheep station,

or something, down in Glenorchy,

borrowing some sheep, among other
things,

Wait. Our mother is married to
a sheep rustler? Of course she is.

Anyway, they were being chased
by the property owner with his g*n,

and poor old Rusty
took a b*llet to the bum.

Well, she's really outdone herself
this time.

Or maybe just reverting to type.

Anyway, they couldn't get to a
hospital in time

cos they had to hide out for 12 hours,

so his mate pried the b*llet from
his bum with a pair of pliers.

Can you imagine?

Was this in the wedding speech?
Maybe I should have come.

No, no, it was. We all had to
raise a glass of rum,

cos that's what got him through,

his flask of rum to numb the bum.

[LAUGHS]

You love him.

How much liquor do you
think that would take?

To sit through all the wedding speeches?

WHISPERS: No.

Wanna know how much these
used flip-flops cost me?

$500.

Hate to tell ya,
but you were overcharged.

- They're Vinnie's.
- She left them in the shoe store

when she ran away in the
designer heels she stole.

- What?
- Yeah.

On the night of the sh**ting.

Designer heels that
I then had to pay for.

Maybe I'm not as good
at this as I think.

Of course you are. Now we know
that Vinnie Sanders didn't do it,

so thank you for that.

Hey, you looked into Chris and
Ropati's personal business accounts,

right? Any debt?

Nothing. They're both nerdy with money.

Then why would one of them need to
embezzle money

from his own company?

[SNEAKY MUSIC]

Hi, Vinnie. My name is Alexa Crowe.

I'm investigating
Ropati Tauv'i's m*rder.

I was out shopping that night.

Yes. Yes, that's what Maddison told me.

So why did you set fire to
the company car two days ago?

I didn't. I just... I didn't
think it was gonna catch,

I just thought I'd put
a hole in the seat, you know?

Why would you wanna
do a thing like that?

To remind my brother that I exist.

You're not close to him?

- Well, I'm a pain in his butt.
- He's embarrassed of me.

But he gave you a job at Tipaula?

- No, that was Ropati.
- Really?

Chris was all, like, 'No way.'

But Ropati
was a nice guy, he gave me a chance.

And I screwed it up. So, yeah,

if you wanna arrest me for some
stupid car, then go ahead. Who cares?

- I don't arrest people, Vinnie.
- And I've got a brother too.

He just got back from my mother's
wedding in Queenstown.

He had a wonderful time.
Didn't wonder where I was.

Weren't you invited?

Oh, I got the invitation a bit late,
you know.

Aw. They didn't want
you to go. Been there.

My parents were just out for themselves,

it was just me and Chris, you know.

But then Eme Tavu'i came along,
and, boom, replacement family.

And you didn't wanna stay
with the Tavu'i's yourself?

I'm a bit much for
most people, you know.

I don't blame them, but...

I do think Chris was lucky.

[JAZZ MUSIC]

Eme?

Hey, Mads. Hey, uh,

did you run a credit
check on Vinnie Sanders?

Yes, despite the fact I would have
bet a hundred bucks

that her credit was bad.

But guess what?

- Five-star rating.
- Exactly,

no credit-card debt,
no missed hire-purchase payments.

What about parking fines,
speeding tickets?

There's nothing. Even though unpaid
fines

stopped her leaving the country
eight months ago.

Well, it seems like Vinnie Sanders
might have a guardian angel.

And it sounds like you
expected that result.

Thanks, Madison.

[LID CLATTERS]

[SNEAKY MUSIC]

All right. What's so urgent?

OK, now, this...

has been in there less than an hour,

and it's already hard.

Can you run that by forensics,
see what happens?

Sure. Any reason?

I'm pretty sure that little lump
is gonna tell us who the k*ller is.

[JAZZ MUSIC]

Yo. Uh...

what are you doing here?

You missed one.

Oh. Um, sorry, do you mind not,
you know, handling the product?

- It's worthless if it's contaminated.
- A little late for that,

this particular oil is
contaminated up the wazz.

There was no botched robbery,
in fact, no intruder at all.

Well, tell that to the doctor who
sewed up the b*llet wound

in my foot.

In fact, it wasn't even about money.

It's about family.
Two families, actually,

the family that took you in,
that loved and accepted you.

And your sister,

who derailed your life with
her chaotic criminal behaviour.

You've been talking to Vinnie? Just FYI,

you can't really believe anything
that comes out of her mouth.

It must have been really hard for you,

cleaning up her messes all those years.

Yeah, but, you know, families,
right? It's what they do.

The debts,

the arrests.

Even when Ropati tried to help,
by giving her a job here.

That went about as well as you'd expect.

Vinnie doesn't have a great
work ethic or people skills.

You know, Alexa, this is great,

but I really need to get to work,

and I don't really need to spend
time talking about my sister.

Fair.

Cos she's the why, isn't she?

Why you stole from your own business.

She drained you emotionally,
financially.

You just wanted to get her gone,

anywhere, to Australia;
out of your life.

So to pay off her fines, you dipped
into the business account,

trying to make it all stop.

You cleared all of Vinnie's debts,

just to get her on that plane.

But now, you've got a problem
with the business.

So that's when you decided
to approach Fia Collins.

Ropati dealt with Fia Collins.

I would never talk to that cockroach.

Don't give me that.

You k*ll a man, and then
you talk shit about him?

What?

Ropati would never
have gone to Fia Collins.

And Ropati would never have gotten
that Samoan proverb wrong

at the end of his emails.

Your plan was to rip Fia off,
to take the deposit and run.

But it all backfired.

And when Ropati found out what
you'd done, he couldn't believe it.

He was going to tell Eme
and the rest of the family.

No, Ropati! Please!

You thought they'd never forgive you.

You thought you'd be
kicked out of the family.

You couldn't let that happen.

You had to stop Ropati from
telling them what you'd done.

So you think I shot
him, and then myself?

Oh, I don't think; I know.

You and Ropati came back
here to sort it all out.

He had no idea what you meant by that,

of course he didn't.
You were his best friend,

his brother.

[g*nsh*t]

You've really got guts, Chris.

Giving yourself a g*nsh*t
wound is not easy.

- [g*nsh*t]
- [SCREAMS]

This is a good story. Um, so,
I sh**t myself, and then what?

No, I couldn't walk,
I can barely at the moment.

So what happens next?
Where did I hide the g*n?

I'm glad you asked.

Because you hid the m*rder w*apon here,

in plain sight,

dumped it into one of the buckets of oil

and let the oil solidify
over the top of it.

See, some time before
the store reopened,

you got rid of the g*n.

But you shouldn't have kept the oil,

because we found the
g*nsh*t residue in it.

Wasn't my fault. At first Vinnie,

and then Fia, she,
Oh, Vinnie walked all over you,

and Fia played you like a banjo.

But you chose this,
Chris. You chose this.

My family and Auntie Eme
are everything to me,

everything.

And Ropati said I didn't
deserve to be here...

that I never belonged.

Whatever Ropati said,
he said it in anger,

and he probably didn't mean it.

You know the Tavu'i family love you

and Eme loves you.

They would have forgiven you
the mistake with the business.

[CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC]

WHISPERS: They would have forgiven you.

[MUSIC FADES]

[SAMOAN MUSIC PLAYS]

[CHEERING]

I'm really sorry, Eme.

If Chris had only talked to me.

I'm glad we have an answer, but...

It's not the one you wanted.

Well, on the bright side,

I've gained another daughter.

You can bet I'll be
over for coffee and cake.

Good. I look forward to it.

[SAMOAN MUSIC PLAYS]

[BASSY MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]

[CHEERING]

Chee-hoo!

[CHEERING]

Chee-hoo!

[MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]

[CHEERING]

This is a g*ng of evil witches.

- The widows' club, huh?
- I'm going to fit right in.

My husband and I are interested
in joining your marvellous club.

- [THUD!]
- Oh!

- She's moving on.
- Nadia.

She's met someone already.

I'm not gonna feel guilty, Nadia.

I just wanna be left alone. OK?

Oh. [GIGGLES] Thanks, Reuben.

Queen of swords. You were close
to someone, and then they died.
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