03x05 - Episode 5

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Outlaws". Aired: 25 October 2021 –; present.*
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Seven lawbreakers from very different backgrounds embark on their community payback sentences.
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03x05 - Episode 5

Post by bunniefuu »

I thought I was over Ben
but it turns out I'm not.

I want him back.

What do I do?

Tell him how you feel.

You conspired to lure
my client to Bristol...

No... With the express purpose
of planting dr*gs in his car.

They're trying to
discredit me, Your Honour.

They're setting
me up. DS Haines!

In the UK, there are far more people
needing sperm than there are donors.

But my doctor said I need to get
pregnant as soon as possible.

Then you may be better off
with a donor you already know.

Can you think of anyone?

Do you know what's on
The Dean's hard drive?

Proof of his whole operation.

The police would have
searched his house

and they would have
found the safe.

A dummy one. The real one is
well hidden behind a horse.

We need to keep eyes o The
Dean's house in London.

Front gate about
two metres high.

Garden walls look
about a metre thick.

And there's some kind of
bodyguard and he's armed.

Oh, we're in trouble!

We have to move the
break in forward.

We're not ready. Then The
Dean gets out tomorrow.

And we're all dead.


TORI: Your room is on the
second floor, room 22.

Lift is just there. Thanks.

There you go.

Can you cover me?

I really need to
see my boyfriend.

Tori, you horn-dog!
Go get it, girl!

Um, Ben...


I don't know how
today's gonna go down.

It's the most dangerous
thing we've done,

and I might not get the
chance to say this to you -

not that I have a right
to say this to you,

after how I've treated you.

But the thing is...


I really...

..think we should
give us another go.

Because I love you.

Tori... Tori?


Tori? Tori! Tori! Tori!

Look, I didn't ask for the role
of "hysterical girlfriend",

but your ex is
wanted for m*rder,

you're hiding her in your flat
and you're clearly still together!

No, we're not!

Ben, I can't be part of this.

Just let me explain, Tori.

Please let go of the door.

Let go of the door!



Rani, let's go! We've
got a schedule to keep.

You're the one who laminated it.

JOHN: Come on! We've
got to break into

a drug dealer's mansion by 4!

GREG: Do we know where
the safe is in the house?

No. All we know is
it's "behind a horse",

or whatever that means.

Did you two find out anything
about the security system?

Well, even if we
can find the safe,

stealing what's inside it
isn't going to be easy.

We don't know the code.

And if we move the
safe, then that triggers

a motion-sensor alarm which
triple-locks all the doors

and brings shutters
down on the windows.


If we manage to get it outside,

the garden gate and the walls
have anti-climb technology.

And the security guard
carries a machine.

A machine? Yeah, an iron.

A g*n! Well, say that, then!

Gabby and I don't know all
the slang terms for g*ns.

I do. No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

Burner, iron, ting, leng,
joint, mac, gat, mash, matic,

milly, glizzy, pole,
stick, strap, wap, nine,

rotty, botty and tum-tum.

Aren't those last
three Teletubbies?

What about po-po?
That definitely is.

No, no. Po-po is police,

and they're called

Basically, our biggest
threat is the security guy.



What a way to go.

Death by Tinky-Winky.

What's the big emergency?

I was in the middle of a
particularly tricky Wordle.

Schedule's moved up.
It's happening today.

What do you mean, today?

Plan's already underway.

I'm driving to London with
Rani after she collects

what she needs from
her parents' place.

We'll meet the others
at The Dean's crib.

They'll lift the hard drive and
it'll end up in a red tool box.

When you step in...

..it can't look like
we're working together.

HE SCOFFS Why do you
care what they think?

I told you, all I
care about is me -

but I don't wanna be
left hanging out there.

So, once it's done...

..you force me into the vehicle.

And the deal's 50:50.

BURGESS: I was lying
in bed this morning

thinking about you.

Am I supposed to be flattered?

I was saying to myself...

.. "Is he playing me?"

Cos if you are, the next
time your friends see you,

you're gonna be colder
than a snowman's d*ck.

Do you hear me?

Um... Assuming we get our
hands on this hard drive,

what's to say it's not
password protected?


Go for Diane.

Do you remember when we were in

your store cupboard
at probation?

You mean my office?

Yeah, sure, your
office. You said

the reason you don't keep notes
on your computer is because...

Criminals have logarithms
that can hack any password

in two minutes or less.

Where did you get
that information from?

That is classified.

Diane. Fine.

From Nigel. He works
in IT at probation.

Do you reckon if you
flashed Nigel some cleavage,

he would write us a program to
crack The Dean's hard drive?

Hmm. I'm pretty
sure Nigel's gay.

He's very flappy with his hands

and he hasn't once
checked out my arse.


..even if I can't
turn Nigel's head,

I know someone who might.

I'm on it!


RHONA: In a few hours, The
Dean leaves court a free man.

And he'll be back
slinging crack and smack,

and when someone ODs
or some kid is caught

in the crossfire, that's on you!

You bloody amateur!
Call me that again.

Oh, and you'll what, amateur?

Let her go. Lucy, no!

Let her go. Get the f*ck off me!

You're done!

Like this case.

You understand, right?

You're done.

That was exciting, wasn't it?

Could've sold tickets for that.

She's right.

I'll have the stink on me
for the rest of my days.

I'm screwed.

Hey, come here.




It's negative.
Well, give it time.

I don't have time, Greg!

That's the whole point.
I'm never gonna be a mum

and I'm gonna die alone
and unloved like you!

Sorry. Lashing out.

Bloody hormones!

You're not pregnant yet.

No. Fair point. Well,
look, don't worry.

I'm gonna get you up the duff

if I have to spend
morning, noon and night

w*nk*ng like a
safari park chimp.


Thanks, Greg.

WHISPERS: Why have
you baked scones?

Well, you said make an effort.

I said, "Dress
sexy," Mary Berry.

And what you wearing?

You look like Andy
Murray at Pride.

Hi, Nige. Hi, Diane.

Have you met Stan,
my new apprentice?

All right, mate?

An "all right,
mate" to you, too.


What a big one you've got there.

I mean, what is that?
Is that... 34 inches?

I mean, I dream of getting
my hands on that kind of...


Why? Do you do a lot of gaming?

I mean, I like to play
around, if you will.

Stan here, he's got a hard drive

and he's got a lot of, um,

no-make-up selfies on it,
if you catch my drift.

But he's forgotten the password.

How would he get back into it?

He'll need a decryption code
that uses live-memory analysis

to extract the encryption key
from the security partition.

Stop with the dirty
talk, you minx.

And is that decryption code

something that you
might be able to write?


cos the guys who design hard
drives are lazy wankers.

But I don't have time.

Oh, pretty please...

..Mr Tech Daddy.

I mean, couldn't you just...

tap-tap away in
your little hot...

..Rick And Morty T-shirt?

Right, what's going on?

No-one likes this T-shirt.
Not even my girlfriend.

Girlfriend?! Girlfriend?
But you're gay.

No, I'm not. Yes, you are.

You've got three lip balms
in your pencil holder.

You change your jeans
before they get itchy

and I saw you watching a
video of a bald muscly guy

talking about rims.

That was Vin Diesel on Top Gear.

You never looked at these once!

I'm more of a leg
man. Er, hello!

Wait, are you trying to
get me to write you code

by pimping this bloke out?

Definitely not. Yes.


Get out before I
report you to HR.

SHE MUTTERS Sorry. Sorry.


Are those scones?

Home-made. With cream and jam.

Leave the scones here,

come back in an
hour for your code.

And I'm gonna want your dongle.

What? I said I'd flirt with him.

He's not touching my dongle.
Just quickly, just once.

Your USB dongle.
To put the code on.

Your USB dongle.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

SHE TUTS Sorry, Nige.

RANI: That's the
armed bodyguard.



Hello, Professor!

You know what to do.

Hey. Look, I don't know if
you got any of my texts,


My life is crazy
complicated right now.

I want to explain. Call me back.

BURGESS: So... what's the
latest with you and Blue Balls?


..kissed him and
told him I loved him.

How did he take it? Unclear.

It was interrupted...

..by his girlfriend.


So, what are you gonna do now?

I don't... I don't know.

What do you think
she should do, eh?


She should let him go.


You and him are
different people.

You broke his heart,

so part of him will
always want you back.

Which is why you
should cut him loose.

For his sake and for yours.

I... I can't just let him go.


..love him.

You also love all this mad shit.

That ain't Ben.

It's not me either. I...

I've changed. I... I
just want a settled life.

Be real. What's living for you?

Running a food shack?

Or running from bent cops?

BEN: Wait. Wait, wait. Does
this stuff turn you on?

What stuff? Car chases.

The drug deals, The g*ng shit.

Oh, come on, you've
got to admit -

it's a bit of a thrill!

We weren't ziplining, Rani.

Oh, my God, you're so boring!



Why is there no water?

My damn husband has
a 56-grand fish t*nk

and I can't get one glass
of the shit?! Fix it!


Yeah. So I just... I
just shoved the ol' rod

down the drainpipe and, um,

plunged the U-bend with
the old, um, plunger.

That sounds like some
good plumbing to me.

Whatever work you're doing means

we've got no water in the house.

You need to come
and take a look.

Sorry, mate, I ain't... I
haven't got the manpower.

It's kids, innit,
these days? You know,

they're... they're not
interested in plumbing.

They just wanna vape
and talk about pronouns.

I mean, wait till their
toilets overflow, right?


You are taking a look.

Right now.

Yeah, all right, mate.

Stop right there!

Is it a weekend
or a bank holiday?

What are you talking about?

A little something
called The Highway Code.

Ever heard of it?
Rule number 238 -

drivers must not wait

or park in restricted areas
during the designated times,

with the exception of
weekends and bank holidays.

Now, do I look like
I'm extreme-caving?


Yeah. That's what I do on
weekends and bank holidays.

You should see the kind of
holes I've squeezed into.

All right, um... Luigi, why don't you
pull the van into this bloke's drive?

All right. No, you
ain't doing that.

They can park there
for ten minutes.

And I can issue
them with £130 fine.


Well, good luck with
your water, mate.

All right, fine.

Just pull up on the driveway.

Pull up on the driveway.

OK, show time!



Found some plumbers.





Yeah, I see.

All right, so
water's not working.

Great. Who do I make
the cheque out to?

Sherlock f*cking Holmes?

Have you drunk any unboiled
water today, madam?

Of course I have. Is that bad?


It's not good, love. Mm-mm.

Um, don't worry.

Why don't we all go and...

..we'll check all
the other, um...

Taps. ..taps.

Keep an eye on them.

Who the f*ck is this?
Paul Blart Mall Cop?


What do you want
now? Sh, sh, sh!

Do you hear that? Hear what?


Oh, this is bad.

Are you the homeowner? No.

OK. I'm going to need you to get
the homeowner out here sharpish.

Horses. Horses...


Horses. Horses...

Horses. Right...

Not a chuffing horse in sight.

Nah, no water down here neither!

LOUDLY: Cor blimey,
guv'nor! Lord love a duck!

"Lord love a duck"?
That's how plumbers speak!

Yeah, in Disney
movies from the 1960s.

What are these plumbers doing?

VICTOR: Mrs Mathieson. What?

We have a problem.

What's the problem?

Police Community Support
Officer Diane Pemberley.

Do you have air conditioning
in your property, ma'am?

Of course we do. We're rich.

Even the dog kennel
is climate controlled.

And are these your
AC condenser units?

I don't know, but if
you need a plumber,

there are three of them
inside looking for taps.

WHISPERS: What if the safe is hidden
in a secret compartment behind there

and is activated by
a book about horses?

Look for anything about horses
- Black Beauty or Seabiscuit.

Yeah. Yeah. Or that other one.

The one about the...
the horse trainer.

They made it into
a film with, um...

..Robert Redford. The Sting?

What the f*ck has The Sting
got to do with horses?

Robert Redford cons Robert Shaw
into making bets on horses!

Oh. So, Smiler, in
his dying breath,

told Rani the safe
was behind a horse,

in the hope she would
remember the plot of a film

made 30 years before
she was born?!

You've never seen any films
made from before you were born?

Oh, my God, that's
it! That's it.

It's The Horse Whisperer!

Do you know what this is?

An iPhone that's three
years out of date.

It's a sound meter app, OK?


That's 45 decibels.


That's 80 decibels.

Do you know what the
permitted decibel level is

for AC condenser
units in this area?

This'll shock you. I don't.


..are measuring at 53.

Pff! We might as well be
on the runway at Heathrow.


Now, do you have planning
permission for your AC?

I don't know. Do we?

Ho! I'm afraid I'm going
to have to report you

to the local authority, and
if you don't have permission,

they will issue an
enforcement notice,

and you will have to
remove your AC immediately.

What? Why do you care?

I care cos this is how
society breaks down.

It starts with avoiding
planning permission,

or fly-tipping an old fridge,
but then before you know it,

the mayor's hanging
from a lamppost

and there's gangs on
three-wheeler bikes

wearing leather jackets
with the spikes on.

And you'll be selling
this tight little yoga bod

for baked beans and paraffin.
Is that what you want?




Found it.

I might try hot yoga again. I
don't know. It's just so hot.

Anyway, I am going to have
to report that, I'm afraid.


..how about I give you...


and you spend it at the
bakery of your choice?

Are you trying to bribe a Police
Community Support Officer?

I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

What I won't pretend I didn't
hear are your AC units.


All sorted, me ol' china!


You forgot your thingy.

Oh, right, yeah.

My thingy. Thanks.

Follow that van. Move!

Call them. Now!

Call 'em!


It worked!

We've got it!

We're heading back
to Bristol now.

No, you're not. Who's that?

It's... Burgess.

He has a g*n.

Pull in just up ahead.


Please don't hurt them.

Then do as I say.


Stay where you are!
Only the bird gets out.

Take the tool box out
the back of the van.


Take the hard drive
out of the box.

Bring it here.

How did you know it
was in the tool box?

Eh? How did you know the hard
drive was in the tool box?

Maybe I'm psychic.

Or maybe you should
ask your friend here.

You sold us out?


Yo. Yo, what are you doing?

You! You little...
Yo! We had a...



You snake! You snake!



It's me. Put him on.

Burgess. Put him on speaker.

Tell me you got your hands
on Taylor or Rekowski.


but I've got my hands on something
way more valuable than that.

It was in a safe in your gaff.

Have you been in my house?


Nah. But Rani Rekowski
and her friends breezed in

and out again with a hard drive

which I'd say is
worth, to you... ooh...


Oh, come on. Don't be absurd.

If what I hear is right,

if I hand this to
the prosecution...

..you're not walking
out of pokey today.

And how do I know you have
what you say you have?

Call your missus. Check it out.

Quickly, though, cos
I'm en route to Bristol.

And I can either hand
it to your lawyer...

..or the prosecution.

It's entirely up to you.


f*ck. Get my wife on the phone.

Has anyone been at
the house today?

Only some useless plumbers.

Why the f*ck have
you let plumbers in?

I needed water! What
did you want me to do,

drain your koi carp pond?

SHE SIGHS All right,
I'm in the bedroom.

What's going on?

That shit drawing of a
horse that Tilly did -

just take it down.

You put a safe in
our kid's bedroom?!

Do you know how
dangerous that is?!

What next? A toaster
in the wet room?

Can we save the domestic
till I'm out of prison?

Just open the safe, woman.

Code is 0569.

There's a hard drive.

It's there? Are you sure?

Yes, it's in the safe
you didn't tell me about

while my Cartier watches are in
a shoe box in my knickers drawer!

All right. Just close the
safe and put Victor back on.


What's going on?

Can you just for once
do as I f*cking say?!

Don't f*cking swear at me!

Victor! Phone!

It's the lousy father
of my dumb kids!


So do we have a deal?

HE SIGHS Nothing's missing.

Are you trying to
play me, arsehole?

I'm looking at it as we speak.

I have it right here.

Listen, I don't know what you
have, but it doesn't belong to me.

What does belong to me,
though, are your testicles,

which I will be giving to
my wife as f*cking earrings!



I've only heard great
things about your school,

so I am extremely keen to get
my child onto your waiting list.

That is wonderful to
hear, your Ladyship.

Tell me, how old is your child?

Oh, they're not born yet.

Children don't start with us
until they're seven years old.

Yes, but I like to plan ahead.

But I can't really add a
child to the waiting list

before they... exist.

I'm not sure if you heard,

but I recently won a
rather large inheritance.

And, er, I do want to
put a significant tranche

towards supporting young
people's schooling.

Do you have grass AND
clay tennis courts?


Would you like to?

Shall we take a tour?

I would adore that.


Is everything OK?
Oh, yes. Oh, it's...

It's just the baby.

Probably getting excited
about their new school.

Ha... Ow! Oh, how alarming.

Why don't you rest here?

Yes. Yes.

Oh! Ooh.

Would you mind awfully
showing my baby daddy around

while I just... recover?

Of course.

Mm. What a shame.

I know you're itching to see
the multi-faith prayer room.

Oh, I am!

Religion will, of course,
be our kid's choice,

but, er, I am
hoping for Buddhist,

whereas you're leaning
more towards Islam.

Peace be upon him.

This way.

I didn't hurt you, did I?

I felt like I might have
hit you a bit too hard.

Yeah, the hitting was fine.

The kicking, though - too much.

Duly noted.


And we had a complete overhaul
of all the sporting facilities

three years ago. Mm.

We should probably
get back to my office,

see how her Ladyship
is doing. Absolutely.

Just a few quick questions.

Do the children here play rugby?

Yes. OK. Cricket?

Yes. Lacrosse?


Football, basketball, volleyball,
baseball, softball, or dodgeball?

Yes. Yes. No.

No. Yes. No.


Quidditch? That's
not a real sport.

That was a test. Good lad.

We probably should
get back to my office.

How about wrestling? No.

Arm wrestling? No.

Sumo wrestling? No.

Mathieson, Mathieson...

Helena Mathieson!

Karate? No.

Judo? No.

Kinamutay? Which is?

It's a form of
Filipino self-defence.

No. And, er, forgive
me, but we should...

Ping pong?





Sharon, the school secretary.

Brontosaurus? Yes.

Stegosaurus? Yes.

Tyrannosaurus? Yes. Our students
learn all the dinosaurs.


No. That's just the
punch line to a joke -

"What do you call
a blind dinosaur?"

Another test. Good lad.

I'm really sorry to
bother you, Mrs Mathieson,

but, um, little, um...
Tilly... she's, um...

Well, she's in a bit of trouble.

Er, she's been caught...


Dealing? Dealing what?

Energy drinks. Yeah, she's been
selling them to the other kids

for five times what
she paid for them.

Do you know where she'd get
this kind of behaviour from?


Nothing comes to mind.

Right. Right.

Well, Tilly will need
to be reprimanded,

so I'm going to need you
to come down to the school.

Why? I pay you 12 grand a term

so that from 9.00-3.00,
she's your problem!

We will need you to come down.

Can you name all
these old boys? Yes.

Can we stand here
while you do that? No.


Oh! How did it go, darling?

I wish you could have seen
the all-weather sports pitch.

Oh, darling, you know I'm
obsessed with Astroturf!

Did you take lots of photos?

Of course. How are you feeling?

Yes, good. We really
must be going.

We're seeing universities
this afternoon.

Gosh, you DO plan
ahead! Yes, yes.

Well, well, well...

Have you even read Appendix


As everyone knows, the minimum
legal tyre tread depth is 1.6mm.

Yours are measuring..

..at 2.5. So they're fine.

Sure, if experts didn't
recommend a minimum depth of 3mm.

This car is a bloody time b*mb.

On wheels!

That are too thin!

Now, I might let you off,

but if you do this again,

then you're going to be
losing more than your hair.

How did it go?

I told him if the risk of
bald tyres doesn't worry him,

then maybe the risk of a £2,000
fine and three penalty points will.

No, no. How did it go
with the hard drive?


See you back in Bristol.



Oh, come on, Haines.
Where are you?


she's not picking up.


You can drop the act now.

It's not an act. Something's...


Do you want to see a doctor?

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

REPORTER: In a humiliation
for the police,

the trial of Liam Mathieson,
known as The Dean,

is expected to end today with
the judge instructing the jury

to return a verdict
of not guilty,

meaning Mr Mathieson is likely
to go free within the hour.

RANI: Oh, my God, this
is taking way too long.

We need to go somewhere
safe till it's done.

I got this.

In you go.




DCI Monroe.

Yes. Hello, sir.

This is PCSO Diane Pemberley.
I am trying to get in contact

with Detective
Sergeant Lucy Haines.

Do you know her current
whereabouts, please, sir? Over.

She's in court. I need to get an
urgent message to her, sir. Over.

HE SIGHS What's the message?

I am sorry I ever
doubted you, ma'am.

I will live with
that shame forever.

Also, evidence has come to light
that exonerates your good self

and Rani Rekowski and incriminates
Liam Mathieson, AKA The Dean,

and Met Detective Tony Burgess
in m*rder, drug dealing,

and other very illegal
behaviour... s.

If you could get this
message to the judge

before The Dean is released
from prison, please.

Sincerely, PCSO Diane Pemberley.

End of message.

Diane, where is...? Over.

Where is this evidence now?




Can we have a chat?

what... what...

..do you think?

About us...

..giving it another go?

I do love you.

And I love you.

But we can't be together.

Look, I'm wrong for you.

You're bad for me.

That is not true.

We all know you live
for this crazy shit.

No, not any more.


..you are...

..a sh**ting star.

You're supposed to be out there,
blasting off into the galaxy.

Me? I'm...

I'm just a... boring old rock...

..you know?

I'm meant to be here
safely on the ground.

With Tori?


Do you love her?

I don't know her.

I kind of just met her.

But I have to give
it a go to find out.

No. I've changed.

All this madness...

..I don't want
that life any more.

What life do you want?

I don't... I don't...

I don't know... but not this.

Just... Just... Just
give us another chance.





OK, that's it. I'm getting
you to a hospital, OK?


Come on. Yeah?


Sergeant Haines.

Sorry. Coming through.

Official business.

Police Community
Support Officer.

I've got pepper spray and
I'm not afraid to use it.

Let me through, thank you.

Sergeant Haines, I
know you're not bent.

That is a huge relief.

And, ma'am, I can prove it.

All rise.

Who the f*ck are you?

DCI Monroe.

Your friend Diane says you
have something important

relating to The Dean's trial.

She also said we
don't have much time,

so what do you have?

Proof of The Dean's
whole operation.

Supply chains, money
laundering, police pay-offs.

Police pay-offs? Yeah, look.

There's your dirty fed
taking a bribe from The Dean.





You took your time.

Sorry. Traffic's m*rder.

M4's like a car park.

Backup required at City Farm.

I have engaged with wanted
fugitive Rani Rekowski

and her accomplice
Benjamin Eastfield.

They are armed and dangerous.



There are occasions when

the judge decides that the
quality of the evidence

is so tenuous or compromised

that the prosecution
cannot prove the offence.

I have made the decision
that, in this case,

the defendant must be found...

..not guilty.

Can you confirm that your
verdict is one of not guilty?

I can.

Mr Mathieson...

..you are free to go.








The shed!




BEN: I got you, bro.



MALAKI: Oh! Oh, f*ck.

BEN WHISPERS: They're outside.



Shit, they're coming.
They're coming.


Well, looks like you got yourself
in a little bit of a pickle,

ain't ya? What are
you going to do? Hmm?

You going to say that
I stabbed him too?

I am.

Another tragic case of
black-on-black knife crime.

RANI: And what does
The Dean want you to do

about me and Ben?

k*ll us... like
you k*lled Smiler?

No need.

You're a wanted fugitive

and her accomplice.
Open-and-shut case, innit?

Is there ever
really such a thing?

Isn't it going to be way easier
to tie up the Smiler case

if you have an
eyewitness to his m*rder?

But you saw me do it, Professor.

You are the eye-bloody-witness.

What if I testified that I
saw someone else k*ll Smiler?

Like who?

Rani, what are you doing?

She ain't selling him out.
She's bang in love with him.

Yeah, I am.

But he doesn't want to
be with me, so f*ck him.

Rani, what is wrong with you?

You'll send an innocent kid to
prison and feel OK about it?

I don't... I don't think
I'll feel anything.

Maybe that's why I didn't yawn.

I guess I am a psychopath.

But he knows everything
we did for The Dean -

the bribes, setting up
Haines, k*lling Smiler,

the whole nine yards,
right? He does.

So what's to stop him
telling all that to a jury?

What's that thing that you
said in the hotel room?

Who's the jury going to believe?

Young black kid with a criminal
record or two white policemen?

DCI Monroe? This is DS
Haines. Is everything OK?

Everything's under
control, Sergeant.

Just... Just stay where you are!

Mm, looks like we're
running out of time.

Do we have a deal?

Not with a g*n
pointed at my face.

Oh, it's a dummy.

She's lying.

It's been made safe.
There's no b*ll*ts in it.

She's lying.

Get back.

Get back or I'll sh**t!

I'll sh**t. I'll sh**t...


Now we have a deal.

Cold-hearted bitch,
ain't she, Blue Balls?


This man is under arrest for
the m*rder of Marshall Smiley.

Kindly cuff him.

What are you doing?
What's going on?

What is this? Do
you know who I am?

What's going on? What is this?

stop him telling all that to a jury?

RANI: What's that thing that
you said in the hotel room?

BURGESS: Who's the
jury going to believe?

Young black kid with criminal
record or two white policemen?

OFFICER: Come on. Come on.


Liam Mathieson,
I'm arresting you

on suspicion of perverting
the course of justice...

Oh, f*ck! No, you're not!

..solicitation of m*rder...

We're not doing this again!
..accessory to m*rder...

Victor! Victor, get him off me!


..and payment to
police officers...

HE YELLS ..improper conduct...


You have the right
to remain silent...

What's going on,
Doctor? Can I see her?

Yeah, you can go in.


Did we get him?

We got him, bro.

We did it! We did it!

Yes, we did!

We did it! Yes!

How are you feeling?

The doctor said I'll live.

And how are you feeling?

The pain was caused by
implantation cramps.

What's that?

It's when a fertilised egg attaches
itself to the lining of the uterus.

Which means...?

I'm pregnant!

I'm going to have a baby!

She's having a baby!
She's having a baby!

She's having a
baby! With my spunk!

SHE WHOOPS Congratulations.

DIANE: Congratulations,
both of you.

I mean, I can't take all
the credit, you know,

she was quite heavily involved.

The bad boys made
it. They got there!




So what gives rise
to criminality?

As a criminologist,

you will not only explore
the mind of the offender

but the social and
economic conditions

which gives rise to
criminality, so...

I still don't understand why
crimes are that big a deal.

Yeah, but that's what
we're here to learn about.

Diane? Can I have a
word? Sure... Just, um...

Just wondered if you
fancied grabbing that drink.

With you? Now?

Er, yeah, just give
me a minute, ma'am.

Call me Lucy. OK.

Oh, my God!

You'll have to get the bus.
Lucy wants to get a pint.

Can I come? I'm afraid not.

It's probably more of a Cagney
and Lacey kind of thing.

You know, crack open
some cold cases,

solve the shit out of
them, and get a curry.

This is what you've
always dreamed of!

I feel like you're
Lizzo, I'm your manager,

and you've just won
a bloody Grammy.

Well, I mean, if I was Lizzo,
you wouldn't be my manager.

You know, maybe one
of my entourage.

Access all areas?

Access some areas.



Hey, good work this
week, by the way.

See you on Monday.

This isn't a lesbian
thing, Diane.

I'm a demon for
the cock as well.

All right, Lucy! TMI.


I heard the, um...

..curried goat is good.


..I'm taking off.

Where are you going?

Oh, I don't know

Or what I'm going to
do when I get there.

Well, you're young.

You still have time
to figure it out.

Yeah. So...

..I thought I'd, erm...

..say goodbye.

In person this time.


I brought someone to see you.

Rani explained...

..how she kissed you, but
you said it was over...

..how you want to be with me.

Right, look what I've
been working on, right?

The latest addition to the menu.

TORI: Yes, Chef!

♪ Every single wish she made

♪ From sh**ting stars
to birthday cakes

♪ Every lucky charm she'd saved

♪ Was for the great escape

♪ She crossed her
heart and hoped to die

♪ Said farewell
and closed her eyes

♪ Knew that there
was more to life

♪ In the great escape

♪ She said Why don't
we start from here?

♪ Why don't we start from here?

♪ Why don't we start from here?

♪ Why don't we start from here?

♪ Let's go

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Let's go

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ She caught a falling leaf

♪ And held it in her palms

♪ And waited for
the sun to shine

♪ She caught a falling leaf

♪ And held it in her palms

♪ And waited for the sun

♪ She said Why don't
we start from here?

♪ Why don't we start from here?

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Why don't we start from here?

♪ Why don't we start from here?

♪ Let's go

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Let's go

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪
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