01x12 - The Scorpion and the Frog

[bunniefuu]

[DARK MUSIC]

- Nice pearls.
- HUGO: It was his money.

ANDY: They made us move
money offshore for them

via this Australian account

that we set up in Hugo's name.

Is there anyone in this town

who hasn't stolen my identity?

Dom is dead, which
means I'm probably next.

I just wanted to apologise

for all the trouble
I've caused you.

Police officers are standing
round the body. It's Gareth.

I want f*ckin'
witness protection.

Somewhere good too.
Gold Coast, please.

- Oh, what the f*ck?
- Cassie was here, wasn't she?

So maybe she saw something.

f*ckin' hell.

[FRACTURED MUSIC]

[INDISTINCT WHISPERING]

DANIELS: Sorry. Go on.

GERALDINE: Uh, well, uh,

it... it was my intention

to bring Leon in
for questioning.

However, having spoken to
him earlier in the day,

I thought he might
be a flight risk,

hence the hour of my visit.

Yeah, go on.

When I said to Leon that
I had reason to believe

he and Gareth were involved
in a a drug syndicate

and had m*rder*d a truckie,

Leon became hostile,

and when pressed he
admitted to k*lling Gareth

over drug money.

He then drew his w*apon,
which was a crossbow,

whilst taking the
woman, Audrey, hostage.

Tried to de-escalate
the situation,

but... when Audrey broke free,

Leon... panicked

and k*lled her.

He then fired at me.

But...

[GURNEY RATTLES]

having missed his target.

I drew my w*apon... and fired.

In self-defence.

Fatally wounded
him in the chest.

Then I called it in.

Well, we'll do a formal
recording back at the station.

I don't know what else
to say, Geraldine.

You're a bloody hero.

And you cracked this
thing all by yourself?

Oh, I'm...

Sir, I'm just sorry that
it turned out this way.

Yeah, no, no, we'll get
you into counselling,

you know, whatever you need.

It's good work, Sergeant.

That promotion's got
your name all over it.

Were there any witnesses?

Sorry, Sergeant.

Any chance for a
podcast interview?

Oh, no, no, no, you don't.

I'm press.

And this is a crime
scene, alright?

You're not allowed
inside the tape.

Get her out of here.

She's not to pester
any of my officers.

If she comes any closer, you
can arrest her on the spot.

- Come on, let's go.
- Yeah, OK, I'm going.

- You OK?
- Yeah.

[DISTURBING MUSIC]

Hey, boss.

Look.

I think it's some kind of
audio recording device.

OK, so I found it inside.

Someone was listening
in on these guys.

I can't wait to
hear what's on it.

Yeah, can't wait... too.

Uh, you know what?

I might take this.

Well, I'm supposed to log
it as evidence in the...

Yeah. Yeah, we will.

OK.

I just need to show the boss

in case it's part of some

you know

undercover op that
we don't know about.

- Oh.
- [WHISPERS] Yeah.

OK. [WHISPERS] Well, um...

[GERALDINE WHISPERS] Yeah.

[TROUBLING MUSIC]

[POLICE RADIO COMMUNICATIONS]

[VEHICLE DOOR OPENS]

[TROUBLING MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

- [BREATHES HEAVILY]
- [TROUBLING MUSIC FADES]

Hm!

[SIGHS]

[DANIELS CALLS OUT] Geraldine?

Yeah.

DANIELS: Sergeant.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[TOWNSFOLK AND POLICE CHATTER]

[DANIELS SPEAKS INAUDIBLY]

[UNSETTLING MUSIC]

[CASSIE RATTLES DOOR HANDLE]

[GASPS]

[SOFTLY] Shit.

I just can't believe it.

Yeah, well,

now you know how
it feels, I guess.

What do you mean?

To be let down by somebody you
thought gave a shit about you.

I was talking about
Leon and Audrey.

Dead.

Just like that.

Right after Gareth.

I don't know what's
going on with this town.

Yeah, well, that is why I.

[ZIPS BAG] am
getting out of here.

Just gonna take the
money and run, are ya?

What else would I be doing?

Oh, I don't know, just thought

thought maybe we...

Are you...

Are you suggesting that
we spend time together?

Jesus, you're not asking
to come with me, are you?

f*ck, no.

We'd only drive each other nuts.

Yeah.

Exactly.

[TROUBLING MUSIC]

Must be good to have all
that sorted out, though, eh?

[CLEARS THROAT]

[SIGHS]

Feel like I should say something

of lasting significance, like

keep on truckin', Pop.

[TENDER MUSIC]

I wish you could have
seen me UFO tour.

Crikey, it was good.

[DOOR CLOSES]

LEON ON RECORDING: Just listen.

I never said nothing
about you, OK?

And nothing about
any of it, I swear.

GERALDINE ON RECORDING: This
can't come back to me, Leon.

It can't.

[g*nsh*t ON RECORDING]

LEON: Oh. Arggh, f*ck!

Oh, this is why
people hate cops.

- [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
- [OFFICERS SPEAK INAUDIBLY]

GERALDINE: f*ckin' hell.

AUDREY: Agh! Agh! No! No!

No, please, no!

[ARROW THWACKS ON RECORDING]

- [EXHALES]
- [DOOR OPENS]

[TOWNSFOLK CHATTER]

[UNSETTLING MUSIC]

[POLICE RADIO COMMUNICATIONS]

- [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
- [DOOR CLOSES]

[SEATBELT BUCKLE CLICKS]

[ENGINE STARTS]

[TOURISTS CHATTER]

WOMAN: Oh, thank you.

[UNSETTLING MUSIC]

NOEL: For a tenner, she's yours.

- Thank you.
- Yeah, thanks.

NOEL: Be able to retire now.

[SIGHS]

Just the gum?

Yes, please.

Actually, you haven't
come across an American

by the name of Andy, have you?

I've got a photo of him here.

This guy.

We're supposed to meet up, but
he seems to have lost his phone.

Seen him around?

[TROUBLING MUSIC]

- [PHONE THUDS]
- [GASPS SOFTLY]

[KEYS JANGLE]

You can come out now.

CASSIE: Oh, damn!

I wanted to surprise you.

I really just want to
get that interview.

You're a hero. Don't you
want to tell us all about it?

Cut the crap. I know you know.

Let me out.

Let me out, you f*ckin' psycho!

Oh, there she is. [CHUCKLES]

Hey, it's a police car,

so we have all the
doors child-locked

so the bad guys can't escape.

It's pretty nifty,
huh? [CHUCKLES]

Oh, are you calling the cops?

Hey! Help!

Help!

[CASSIE POUNDS ON
DOOR] Let me out! Help!

Let me out! [SOBS]

Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh.

Don't waste your energy.

So, I'm guessing Andy knows
a bit about this too, huh?

What?

No, he doesn't know anything.

We'll see.

[PHONE RINGS]

I was just about to call you.
Where the hell have you been?

She's with me, sunshine.

But she's dead keen
to see you, though.

And if you want
to see her again,

then maybe you should
come and meet up with us.

ANDY: I... I don't...

What's going on?

[SIGHS]

What's going on

is that I know that you're
into something illegal.

And if you don't do
exactly as I say,

I'll have every cop in
this state on your arse

faster than a fly
on a fresh turd.

Come alone.

Tell no-one and bring nothing.

You understand?

I understand.

He says hi.

- Send.
- [NOTIFICATION SWOOSHES]

Ah.

[TOURISTS CHATTER]

HUGO: Andy.

Uh, I can't... I gotta go.

- VAL: Same again?
- TOURIST: Yeah, great.

[UNSETTLING MUSIC]

WOMAN: Last drinks.

Bus is leaving shortly.

[LOCK CLICKS]

[TROUBLING MUSIC]

[TOURISTS CHATTER NEARBY]

[SIGHS]

[VEHICLE DOORS OPEN AND SHUT]

GERALDINE: Come
on. Join the party.

- Cassie, I'm so...
- GERALDINE: Phone.

Are you OK?

- Do I look OK?
- OK, sorry, just asking.

She k*lled Leon and Audrey.

What?!

Now he knows.

God, what a f*cking fiasco

this has turned into, hasn't it?

Normally things are
pretty quiet around here,

but ever since you arrived,

life's just gone sideways.

What do you want?

Well, that's a tricky question.

Is it money?

God, it's all about
business for you, isn't it?

You do know that
bribing a police officer

is a criminal offence?

- So is m*rder.
- Not if you don't get caught.

Because you were right.

I came here,

for money.

And I found it.

And if you let her
go, it's yours.

- All of it.
- Andy!

If you... if you
let her walk away.

I will take you right to it.

That's really cute.

You know you had your
chance with me, Andrew.

But we're on a
different path now.

And nothing can change that.

I mean, sure,

I've thought about it.

You and me on a beach,
horseback riding, bareback.

And your horse gets away

and I gallop up to you and
hoist your onto my horse.

Huh. But here we are.

J-just... Please.

I've got plans that I have had
in place for a very long time.

You know I graduated
top of my class?

No-one thought I
could, but I did.

- And then...
- [g*nsh*t]

[THREE g*nshots]

CASSIE: Shit!

Go on. Go!

- I have the money.
- Don't you f*ckin' move.

You got any idea how much
trouble you've caused me?

I thought you just did
their books. I didn't...

I didn't realise that
you k*lled for them too.

Why is that so
hard to understand?

People can be good at
more than one thing, Andy.

- Pigeon-holing, it's not...
- You didn't have to k*ll Dom!

Dom f*cked up. So did you.

It wasn't our fault!

We were just trying to fix it.

[LAUGHS] You think you can
steal from these people

and then just fix it, Andy?

I didn't steal anything!

Tell me, where is the money!

[SOMBRE MUSIC]

HUGO: Dear Andy,

You ever hear the one about
the scorpion and the frog?

The frog gives the scorpion
a lift across the river,

but about halfway
across, they sink,

so the scorpion stings him.

[ANDY SIGHS]

HUGO: The frog goes, "Ouch!
What did you do that for?"

And the scorpion says, "Why?"

Oh, no, hang on. No, wait.

No, the frog bites
the scorpion...

Uh...

Uh, no, actually, I forget.

It's something like that.

Look, the point is
I can't help it.

It's in me nature.

I'm sure you're not surprised.

But it's not all that bad.

Me house, the business,

they're all yours to keep.

Not the fairest swap,

but we've both had to do things

we're not proud of to survive.

[DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS]

Maybe that's in our blood too.

PETEY P: Where is it?

HUGO: Believe it or not,

I always wished you
a happy existence.

So I tell you what,

you don't look for me

and I'll stay out of your life.

I get the feeling you've always
preferred it like that anyway.

ANDY: If you're reading this,
it means you've disappeared.

For good this time.

[SIGHS]

PETEY P: What are
you waiting for?

Hurry the f*ck up, Andy.

What the hell is this, hm?

South Sea pearls,
pink diamonds, opals.

You said you had the cash.

I never said cash.

You never said jewels either.

Either way, it's all there.

sonofab*tch. Pack it back up.

Come on.

OK, let's go.

What?

My car. Move!

- But I just gave you...
- I said move, Andy.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

[BOTH GRUNT]

Val's not here. I saw
your car out the front.

- [BOTH GRUNT]
- [g*n FIRES]

Hey, what's going on in there?

[g*n FIRES]

- [g*n FIRES]
- [BOTH GRUNT]

Why would you lock the door?

- It locks automatically now.
- She fixed it, did she?

You picked the wrong
town to f*ck with, mate.

Oh, you... f*ck!

[BOTH GRUNT]

- sonofab*tch!
- [g*n FIRES]

[g*n CLICKS]

- f*ck.
- [NOEL GRUNTS]

[CHOKES]

[ALL GROAN]

[ANDY AND NOEL GASP]

[HYPERVENTILATES]

[GASPS]

What... what do we
do with the body?

[NOEL BREATHES HEAVILY]

I got an idea.

Might be able to k*ll
two birds with one stone.

[CROCODILE GROWLS]

[WATER SPLASHES]

[PHONE LINE RINGS]

WOMAN ON PHONE: Is it done?

I have your money.

WOMAN: Put Petey on the phone.

Petey's dead.

WOMAN: Then you think I
won't send someone else?

Listen, I never stole
anything from you.

In fact, I almost
died, like, six times

getting you your money.

Is that not valuable to you?

You are expendable.

Oh, yeah?

What if I told you I have access
to multiple foreign accounts

through which I can
move your money,

ongoing,

in a place no-one would
ever think to look.

No hidden accounts,
no identity fraud,

everything completely
legitimate.

As long as I'm alive.

Right.

I'm supposed to trust you now?

I'm not asking for trust.

I'm asking for a
chance to prove to you

that this will be an
even better operation

than it was before.

All while paying back
my debt, of course.

OK, here's what's gonna happen.

Have the missing money
back in the account

and the details of
all the new accounts

in to me by Friday.

OK.

And I'll give your little
operation one month.

All goes to plan,
we have a deal.

- If not...
- Understood.

Yeah.

And you'll be paying off
your friend's debt as well.

Hm!

You realise you can
never come back here.

Yeah.

- I kind of figured that.
- Get it done.

[LINE BEEPS]

CASSIE: Andy!

- What happened?
- He's...

He went away.

How'd you get here?

I hitched.

Oh, shit.

- Cassie.
- What?!

Don't you know that's dangerous?

Oh!

[LAUGHS]

[HOPEFUL MUSIC]

CASSIE: Why do people disappear?

When they do, the truth
often disappears with them.

[CRIES] What's going on?

It's supposed to be
one minute's silence

and we're just 10 seconds
in, so if we could just...

I'm sorry, Jimmy,

it's just I don't know
what's happened to us,

to our little town.

I do. [CHUCKLES] It's dying.

- Can we just please finish...
- ANDY: It doesn't have to die.

But sometimes you get lucky
and the secrets come out.

So the money gets transferred
from the US into your accounts,

it just sits there for a week

and then I transfer it
right back out again.

It's as simple as that.

And for letting you use
our accounts, we get...

One percent of
every transaction.

- Ooh!
- For doing absolutely nothing.

It's... it's win-win.

[TOWNSFOLK MURMUR]

CASSIE: Like the man who went
missing from a tiny outback town

who turned out to be
not missing at all.

I can confirm that
Sergeant Geraldine Walters

was involved in the
drug-smuggling ring

that she claimed
to have smashed,

and in fact I can now reveal
that I was personally leading

an internal undercover
investigation

into her involvement in
this criminal organisation

before they so
brutally ex*cuted her.

CASSIE: A town full of people
who disappeared themselves

long before this

all complicit in keeping
the truth hidden...

[DRILL WHIRRS]

as long as it suits them.

Some disappear because
they're trying to outrun pain.

Others just don't
want to be found.

But can you truly disappear

when someone always
holds a flame?

[WISTFUL MUSIC]

[MUSIC FADES]

- [INSECTS CHIRP]
- [DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE]

- So, how's your mom's?
- CASSIE: Fine.

You hate it, don't you?

ANDY: I hate podcasts.

I think the world
has too many of them.

But if I didn't hate podcasts,

probably wouldn't hate this one.

- Really?
- I said 'probably'.

Besides, your...
uh, your subject

gave you all the great material,

so you kind of owe him, huh?

What? You're not even in it.

It doesn't mention you, it
doesn't mention the money.

Alright, alright,
alright. Calm down.

We'll call it even, OK?

CASSIE: So how long are
you gonna stay there?

- [SIGHS] I don't know.
- [DOG HOWLS]

But I can't go
back to the States.

At least not yet.

You're not worried they'll
come find you again?

Yeah.

But I guess I just
feel safer here.

Never thought I'd say that.

And, well, you're the
one who sounds worried.

[LAUGHS] You wish.

When are you coming to visit?

Bidgeegud, that little sh*thole?

Hey, that's my adopted home
town you're talking about.

It's not that bad.

You know, we used to have
the number one UFO tour

in, like, two kilometres.

I heard it was crap.

Look at you, using
the metric system.

I turn my back for one second
and you've gone full Aussie.

Can you do the accent?

Hello? Andy?

['THE UNGUARDED
MOMENT' BY THE CHURCH]

♪ So hard finding inspiration

♪ I knew you'd find me crying

♪ Tell those girls
with r*fles for minds

♪ That their jokes

♪ Don't make me laugh

♪ They only make me

♪ Feel like dying

♪ In an unguarded moment

♪ So long... ♪