Eggsplosive Easter, The (2024)

[bunniefuu]

HOLY MONDAY

6 DAYS TO EASTER

Hey, what's that flying?

- Maybe it's ours?

- Ours?

- There was no way out.

- The Russians?

There was no alarm.

Galya, do you see that new star there?

That's our future big victory.

Listen, do you think is it getting bigger?

Why is it getting bigger?

Because damn it, it's flying at us.

Get down!

It seems, Galya, we overdid it with fuel,

so we need to lie down.

THE EGGSPLOSIVE EASTER

HOLY TUESDAY

5 DAYS TO EASTER

- Hello, Aunt Olya.

- Good day.

- Are we acquainted?

- Well, of course. I'm Misha.

- "Little Shit."

- Misha, what are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

Yes. And where are you from?

We came to celebrate Easter with Dad.

What a coincidence! Just when I'm here?

Yes, Olyinka,

the whole world revolves around you.

And people celebrate Easter

when it's convenient for you.

Alright. We'll chat on the way.

- Let's go!

- Mishko.

Let's go!

Wow, it's like my home after the flight.

Oh my.

Oh, don't be silly.

The windows are intact,

the walls are not damaged.

Our handyman just started

a bunch of things, and left everything.

- Did you call him?

- And what about?

A year ago. Just on Easter.

As I recall now,

he didn't pick up the phone.

- Dad!

- They've arrived! Repeat offenders.

- They were in good health, Valyushka.

- They recognized.

And fortunately, they put away your boss.

He didn't give anyone a life here.

Where did they put him? Which boss?

Apparently, ours.

- Who put him away?

- Who? Territorial defense.

Your cauldron stirrer will be judged.

- According to wartime law.

- So where?

In their lathe workshop. Headquarters.

Well, by the carpentry.

You can even go there

to order a coffin right away.

Yes, Misha, you stay on the farm.

- Have some water.

- And close the gate.

Well, what?

Did Usama Benladovich finish smoking?

Wait a bit.

Give me another minute.

That's how it goes.

Do you hear how the birds are singing?

Uh-huh. They're practically screaming.

Don't sh**t!

You don't have the right!

- Who's that?

- My daughters.

- Well, Yurko, you rascal.

- Hey, stop!

- Dad!

- Dad!

- Stop this nonsense.

- Alright, stand still!

There are two there

who don't want to come out,

because, well, you know,

Easter, eggs, beauty.

Why did you call them? You promised.

- Who?

- What do you mean you can't?

You don't have the right

- Nikolayevich!

- What is this madness?

- Go back where you came from.

- Hello, Dad.

- Nikolayevich, I told them.

- Quiet!

Yura.

Soplya. Oh my, oh my.

- sh**t the third cousin.

- We'll reach Zaluzhny.

Alright, quiet down! Sit!

They've left. Not you.

- Him.

- Now!

I won't allow myself

to be discussed without me.

- Dad.

- Take him to the cell.

- We don't have a cell.

- Take him out again to smoke.

- Ivanich, let's go

- Dad, I

Vitya, take him out.

- Come on, be a human!

- Where are you taking him?

- What's wrong with you?

- I'll take him.

Initially, it's not Yura Soplya,

but Yuriy Mykolayovych,

battalion commander

of Territorial Defense.

- Oy

- Come on, be quiet.

I can't understand.

I don't know how you ended up here,

but you're right on time.

In your battalion, when the w*r started,

the flask started to whistle.

We caught him near the military depot.

He said he was out walking

his chicken and got lost.

- Chicken?

- Chicken.

That's probably Galya.

- Galya?

- She's with the chicken.

- He's just really attached to her.

- That's it.

And the last straw was this.

He fired at the checkpoint.

- Oh, come on

- People almost died.

Oh, what did he sh**t it with? What?

He said he even set the leaves on fire.

Something exploded, flew.

Tomorrow

the military commission will come,

and instead of a checkpoint, ruins.

Olga.

- What do you want?

- So Uncle Vanya will probably go to trial.

Olga.

We're ready to donate

to rebuild the checkpoint.

Oh, Olga.

No, well, this will only cover the walls.

Yura did well.

Well done.

- I'll contribute.

- I know how you'll contribute.

Alright.

But if, God forbid,

this happens again,

we'll all be in trouble.

Take your Andreyevich

and take him away from here,

as far as possible,

I'll treat you like family

We'll take him away, Yura. I promise.

Take them home!

And take these ones to the center.

The bus will be here soon.

- What about a taxi?

- Yes.

Oh, Lord.

- What's the occasion for the ceremony?

- None of your business.

Here. This is for you, thank you.

We pulled him out of trouble,

saved him from prison, didn't let him,

so to speak, rot behind bars.

- Like a pensioner of Ukrzaliznytsia.

- Thank you. Goodbye.

Hello, man.

And who are you looking for?

- Dad!

- Come on!

Dad!

Dad!

- C'mon, c'mon, c'mon

- Dad!

Oh, c'mon, c'mon.

- See? He cares more about his chickens.

- What's going on?

They suffered for another year.

- And they attended the tenth anniversary.

- Circumstances changed, Dad.

w*r, and you're not a stranger to us.

We didn't kick ourselves

out of our father's house.

Maybe I regret about the past.

But now you're not needed here.

Let them go.

You, Dad, you.

Socially dangerous type.

You're a criminal in five minutes.

You were released

under our responsibility.

- And we're not going anywhere, right?

- Right.

Until we decide what to do with you.

We'll celebrate Easter together.

What are you barging in for?

My hands and feet are in place.

I'm not drooling.

Quiet, you. And I'm not going anywhere.

And I don't need babysitting.

Although

Did he close it?

Dad!

- Dad!

- Who are you?

Hi, grandpa. I missed you.

Mihasyk? Oh, you

Dad!

Here. Do you know who it's from?

- From who?

- Forgot, from the bunny.

Goodbye, grandson.

Look at him Look at him, huh?

Don't you dare close the door

of the parental home in front of me!

- I was born here!

- Olynyk.

- Open it!

- Olynyk.

- What do you want, huh?

- Fine.

Dad, we can't leave you here alone.

That's settled.

Anya and Misha are staying with you.

- Why are we staying? How come?

- Well, someone needs to take care of dad.

Olya, come here.

What do you mean, it's settled?

How is it settled? By you alone?

- Do you have another option?

- Yes.

What? Yarik?

- Don't make me laugh.

- No. You.

- Me?

- Yes.

- I can't stay here. I have business there.

- And can I stay?

I need to go too.

Where? You don't have a home now!

Oh, sorry.

- Sorry.

- I forgive you.

Listen, Anya, stop playing coy here.

You came for Easter.

You came here forever.

I'm just passing through.

- I'm going to Germany.

- Who are you going to?

- To my future husband.

- Oh!

You're so cool.

- Then take him with you to Uzhhorod.

- By the way, he's your father too.

Take him with the groom to Germany.

They'll still pay him pension.

CERTIFICATE OF MERIOh, remember?

Saw it? Smelled it? Where am I going?

This is my home. Your mother is here.

When I'm gone, cremate me.

And divide. Each gets a matchbox.

I'll tolerate you until Easter.

And then, may your spirit not be here.

Got it?

Mom, I'm done.

- Yes.

- When's the fee?

What fee?

Well, I hugged grandpa.

He said he misses you.

- As we agreed.

- I'll transfer it to your card.

I'll play for a while.

- Misha, go to bed.

- Fifteen minutes.

Son, do you know

what a son means to a man?

He's the continuation of the lineage.

Do you want to end my lineage?

- Hello.

- Hello.

I missed you.

Yuriy Ivanovych,

it's already night outside.

She's beside you,

so everything's the same for you.

Children are the flowers of life.

I showered you with flowers.

So why can't you give me

just one little flower?

For my little Ishven.

Listen to me carefully, you alcoholic.

I'm going to the doctor after Easter.

So, all your "oops" won't change anything.

Yuriy Ivanovych, it's not that simple.

I'm in the process.

Oh, Sergey, you've been in this process

for 16 years, okay?

I have changes too.

Maybe I'll go to Germany with dad.

Yuriy Ivanovych, definitely no.

This mess will interfere with our work.

It's not a mess.

It's my father.

Misha, go to bed.

Lord, give me a moment of peace.

Alright, little one.

What's this?

That's it, Mordor's Game.

Oh, Uncle Yarik's here.

Come on, help me drag him to the couch.

Quietly!

Stop shouting, you crybaby.

- Release the catch.

- Why are you barking?

This is a fox trap, and you're the sheep.

Why did you come, poor guy?

For Easter.

To see you. Can I have some water, please?

Misha, there's a first aid kit

in the suitcase in your room.

I don't know, could you have called.

- Or knocked on the window.

- I wanted to make a surprise.

I thought I'd sneak in quietly,

and then surprise you in the morning.

I sneaked in quietly.

I almost gave birth out of fear.

In a metaphorical sense. Well, not quite

For nine years, the person lived,

not bothering anyone.

No, they swooped in.

They remembered Easter.

Pious ones.

HOLY WEDNESDAY

4 DAYS UNTIL EASTER

Glory to Ukraine!

Glory to the Heroes!

- Glory to the Nation!

- Death to the enemies.

Ukraine!

Are you going to wash up?

Ukraine.

Vata.

- Give it here.

- Thank you.

- Everyone to the living room!

- Something's happening.

Where's Misko?

Misko!

Misha! Mish!

- Why did this fly into my head?

- It's grandpa's thing.

Oh Lord. Easter is earlier this year.

Sorry. I got scared. Let's go.

We welcome a humanitarian

from wealthy Zakarpattia.

- Yum-yum.

- Caviar?

Cod liver.

Quiet! What? Alarm?

will help the Armed Forces

Girls, look what I found.

It's my accordion,

the one I learned to play on.

Found it in the attic.

- Idiot.

- So, did you get scared?

- It's obvious it wasn't an alarm.

- Olya, you heard plenty of it in Uzhhorod.

Come to Zakarpattia

Come, good people

There's no alarm there

No-no. Come on, let's stop your concert

and listen to me carefully.

After Easter, Anna and I are leaving,

and you'll stay here with dad.

I'll provide you with everything you need.

I'll also throw in some money.

Hi, we're from Ukraine. Why just me?

Yarik, why not? The ports are closed now,

you have no work.

And no family either.

Girls, you understand,

now is not the time for quarrels?

There's a w*r in Ukraine.

And we need to unite.

Either we all work together as a team, or

Kiss my ass.

On the platform, on the crowded platform

Where farewells and meetings bring tears

And it seems no one has seen them

Oh God, he'll never get married.

Goodbye.

I'll go play with Kap, the dog.

He'll listen to me.

Mikhasio, what's with the pigeon?

Yarik!

By the way, Dad, I decided to help out.

I fixed the ladder,

so you can climb to the attic.

Why would I need to go to the attic?

For the future, Dad.

Who knows when or how this w*r will end,

and who will come after us.

By the way,

I'm worried about the dearest thing.

About your ass?

About dad, about the family.

Yes, go to the front

and help defend the family.

Dad! Dad, I would go to the front,

but I have a herniated disc.

- What hernia?

- Between the vertebrae.

Between the second and third.

I'll check on you right now.

Mikhasyo.

Mikhasyo, get down,

or there'll be trouble.

Oh boy. Well, how?

Let's go feed the chickens.

At least you can be useful.

I'm busy.

What are you busy with?

- Staring at your phone?

- I'm building a rocket.

A rocket?

- Sure, sure.

- It's a game. A simulator.

Look, he communicates normally

with just one person.

They say old, young.

Then you have to build a launch pad.

And when it's assembled, then what?

Then you have to calculate all

the launch parameters, trajectory,

calculate thrust power, air resistance.

- You have to calculate air resistance.

- What?

Nothing, I was just talking to myself.

- Show me.

- Listen.

How does he communicate

so well with his grandson?

Maybe Mikhasyo keeps an eye on him,

so he doesn't get into trouble again?

What if they get into trouble together?

If my son gets into trouble,

it's only on the internet.

Let's try.

- Mom, do we have Cola?

- When we don't.

I have a suggestion.

I won't go to the store,

I'd rather drink water.

Son, could you spend more time

with your grandpa?

And if he starts doing something strange,

you'll just tell us, right?

In principle, I could, but not for free.

How about 100 hryvnias?

- Two hundred.

- One hundred fifty.

- Then per day.

- And your lip won't crack?

My proposal stands.

Don't like it, go to Uncle Yarik's.

Alright, alright, fine, extortionist.

- I agree.

- Then I ask for payment for today.

Tonight.

Nothing strengthens

business relations like an advance.

- Right, mom?

- Oh, that reminds me of someone.

- Don't know who?

- No.

- Here.

- Thanks.

Here.

From now on, you can consider

I've got my grandpa under control.

- Hello, folks.

- Hi.

Romanivna,

didn't you get a call from the afterlife?

I dialed myself.

They said

they're waiting for you right after.

Thanks for the candy,

but I don't have teeth.

- It's a treat, it'll be right for you.

- Go on.

- What?

- You have beautiful eyes.

Listen where were you going. I still

lacked sitting for corrupting minors.

Oh, dear.

- Why is everything here like honey?

- From the bunny.

- What?

- It's like spring, everyone's going crazy.

Good afternoon.

Hi.

Looking for me, spy?

I'm not a spy.

Just strolling,

seeing where the connection's better.

Tough nut.

Well, I guess I'll have to tease you.

- Tease me?

- In a creative sense.

Methods of physical influence.

Did you think

you could escape from grandpa?

Grandpa, I'll tell everything!

Let's talk sometime.

Mom and Auntie Olya

hired me to keep an eye on you

so you don't get up to any mischief.

What nonsense.

In short, here's the plan.

You'll tell mom and auntie

a partial truth.

But a truth pre-agreed with me.

- Understand?

- Yes.

Just know that I have

a financial obligation to them.

How much are they paying you?

- Two hundred.

- I'll give you 210.

Not enough.

Not enough?

Did you struggle with math in school?

200 and 210. How much is that?

- As much as needed.

- Oh, just like that.

But I warn you,

if you snitch on me to auntie or mom,

I'll sh**t you according to wartime law.

- You'll sh**t your grandson?

- Not my grandson. A traitor.

An enemy of the people.

Understand?

Here's your money.

Run to the store,

buy us something to snack on,

take the rest as an advance.

We'll meet outside the village.

By the rear gates of the old factory.

There's a horse skull above the gates.

- A horse skull? Are we in a pirate movie?

- Do you know where the store is?

Go, quickly.

- Anything else?

- Do you have coffee?

Yes.

Then one double latte macchiato.

- Is this okay?

- Understood. Thank you, no need.

What do you need, darling?

A bottle of vodka, auntie.

And two cans in tomato sauce.

Here's a note from grandpa.

A cigarette in working condition.

My dear sisters, I've thought

and thought and come up with a plan.

I'm staying.

You can't leave one parent behind,

that's clear.

You, women, some with children even,

and you need to stay away from the w*r,

that's also clear.

But I'm a man. Sooner or later,

I'll get drafted and sent to the front.

Right.

So what, we need to resolve this somehow.

- How?

- Well, how?

Either a white ticket, or 5,000 dollars.

In cash equivalent.

I found out.

- Aren't you amazed, buddy?

- I don't have that kind of money.

No, not at all.

I'll be taken to the front.

You'll go to Germany.

You've always had business problems.

And father?

Father will stay alone.

Of course, of course.

Okay, An, come help me.

Bury me next to mother.

No need for a fancy monument.

Just Just write.

"I light up the world, burning myself."

That's definitely a skull. Trash.

Let's go in.

Where? It's radioactive there.

Either come in, or return the deposit.

Grandpa, it's dangerous here.

- These signs aren't for nothing.

- I've survived the Union.

Chernobyl, two revolutions,

and the Russian invasion.

Do you think radiation will get me?

Besides,

I've outlived Mihasyu on this earth.

You should see your dump.

I put up all those signs to keep people

from wandering here from the village.

I have such a place here.

Every boy's dream.

- Well?

- Not impressed.

It would have been worth k*lling a horse

to keep people away.

What?

But now, he's not impressed,

a little wimp.

Look here.

Look.

Well, what is it?

This is our strength.

Victory starts from here.

Death for Koschei starts here.

Vintage.

Lean against it, grandpa.

You're not in the frame.

What, are you filming? You can't.

This is a secret facility.

Yeah, I see, I see.

The launch control panel of

the railway m*ssile complex from train 0,

which was on duty from 1987 to 1994.

That's sick.

- Is everything written there?

- Internet helps, grandpa.

Welcome to the future.

Give me that phone.

Give it, I'm telling you!

Mihasyu. Erase everything.

The mission is not over yet.

You'll ruin my plan.

It's your own fault.

Who did you brag to?

To a little traitor.

Bragged.

Grandpa, what do you think?

I'll tell mom.

Who do you think you are?

We have commercial

and financial relations, you and I.

To no one?

For 300, my mouth will remain shut.

Well, what about lunch soon?

I'm hungry as hell.

Wow! And what do we have here,

a conversion center?

I'm leasing you.

- Perpetually.

- Where?

I changed my mind.

- As you wish.

- Okay, okay, I'm kidding.

You're doing the right thing.

We're not doing this for ourselves.

All for father.

Smart one.

Oh, what a son, gold.

Not counting, trusting.

Ah, better outside, not inside

The Soviet Union is done for,

they took away our nuclear core,

chopped up the trains for metal,

but I've got something left

in my workshop.

The most valuable.

- Do you have a nuclear m*ssile?

- No, I don't have missiles.

But I have the launch pad and the control.

- Uh-huh.

- What, uh-huh?

The control is the brain,

it calculates everything itself.

You set the coordinates,

press the button, and bam!

And from the other side,

Putin's place will only be ashes.

Without a m*ssile, there won't be ashes.

Did you bring that crappy suit

or did you buy it here?

If my opinion doesn't interest you,

why the hell are you telling me all this?

Because you're the ears right now.

I've been carrying this idea

for a year and a half.

It's bursting out of me.

You pay me to keep quiet.

Ears aren't on the menu.

What, Mikhail, are you offended?

Oh, I was just kidding. Sit.

Why am I jumping around here

in front of you?

Because trust -

is the guarantee of healthy relations

between a boss and subordinates.

Sorry, I misspoke.

Partners with partners.

Agreed?

Welcome to the aerospace club, partner.

You, Mikhasyk, are now taking your first

steps in your father's footsteps.

May he rest in peace.

What do you mean?

Yes. It's an awkward situation, of course.

And has your mom still

not said anything to you about it?

- About what?

- Well, about your dad, the hero,

the handsome one,

who died while testing a new plane.

Are you serious?

What, are you a little kid?

These are the tales they tell kids

to cover the truth

bout their alcoholic father.

- Is your dad an alcoholic?

- My father is a respected man.

The director of the laboratory

where my mom worked.

But he has another family.

We're going to see him in Germany.

Oh, my God.

And how long were you planning

to keep lying to me?

About what exactly?

About your pilot, the tester.

What? Why does it matter to you?

If I knew he wasn't just a test pilot.

- But also a professor, and married.

- What would you have done?

Would you have kicked me out of the house

even earlier, when Mom got pregnant?

Or maybe you would

have helped give advice?

Oh, God, Dad, where is this coming from?

There were instructions,

orders, directives.

I don't remember any advice from you.

Who advised you to go into medicine, huh?

Mom.

Mom?

And who arranged everything, huh?

Me? Yes, as you wanted?

I wanted to be a paediatrician,

not a paramedic.

And you took me, drove me away

from home a thousand kilometers away,

and said, "Figure it out, daughter,"

so here I am, still figuring it out.

- This is my life.

- Yours.

I did what I thought was best.

Dad, you asked me what was best for me?

No, you did what you wanted. You get it?

And any opinion that somehow differs

from yours is wrong a priori, right?

No, that's not it.

Exactly. That's what I'm saying.

Anya.

You're ungrateful.

Thank you, Dad.

Thank you for everything you've done.

Just don't worry about me anymore.

I'll take care of myself,

and you take care of yourself.

Or let us do it.

Misha! Follow me.

MAUNDY THURSDAY

3 DAYS UNTIL EASTER

Son, come here!

- Where's your report?

- What?

Where were you both yesterday?

In church.

I didn't understand, for what?

He hasn't been to church

since he was baptized.

He lit candles.

All day?

Many candles.

- Calm down, Anya, calm down.

- Dad!

- Hold on tight.

- Dad!

- Dad!

- Dad!

- What happened?

- Fleas.

Yeah, we know where you were yesterday.

You do?

Dad, why did you go to church?

You're sick.

- Not to church, but to the doctor.

- Have you been yet?

What's your stage?

Yeah, well, you've got a cough.

I was at church.

I lit candles.

For health and repose.

For the health of Zaluzhny,

for the repose

You know who.

Where's our crooked little duck?

Here.

- What's this?

- This is a small donation.

Five thousand dollars.

Well, for our army.

Understood.

- And in return?

- The army will forget about me.

Well, in your person.

You see, I have a herniated disc,

astigmatism,

my meniscus is completely worn out.

I'm not a fighter.

- Burden.

- Understood.

So, you sit tight here while I run.

We need to sort out our issues

in one place.

- Well, and to make everything tickety-boo.

- Right.

ZABIYAKA MARIYA PAVLIVNA

Hello, Mommy.

Forgive me, please,

for not coming for so long.

I was running around everywhere,

always rushing,

but never

ran.

There's nothing left, Mom.

Only little Misha is left with me.

He's become so grown-up, Lord, forgive.

Soon he'll be running around on his own.

And I'll be left alone.

And no one will pity me, like you did.

I'm so tired, Mom.

Well, if you're tired, sit down. Rest.

- I didn't mean to interrupt.

- But you did.

And that's all you.

You can keep standing here,

but these weeds will still grow.

- Did you tidy up already?

- No.

Oh, look.

Darn it. Forgot the water for the flowers.

- There's a tap over there.

- You know where it is.

Off you go.

Mommy, how are you?

Are you watching over us?

I know you're watching.

You always knew everything about us.

Not like Dad.

He knows nothing,

notices nothing, even here.

Mom

I've made a decision.

I know you would have been against it.

But how did you talk about me?

Straightforwardly.

And that's how it remained.

You would have understood me.

Just like always.

You understood me.

And you also enjoy

talking to photographs, right?

So, as long as she doesn't answer you,

it's normal.

Say.

Let me put it on.

Look how nice,

we planted periwinkle together.

- It's good that we planted it together.

- Neatly, so neatly. Well, let's go.

Wait.

- Oh.

- Let's have a toast.

- Mom's moonshine.

- Where from?

- She knew how to hide it from Dad.

- We'll find another one.

- I don't want to.

- How come?

- I don't want to.

- You'll regret it.

It's 20 years of aging. It's vintage.

Be careful, it might be poisoned.

- Delicious.

- Tasty?

- Yes.

- I don't want to. No, I don't want to.

Are you pregnant by any chance?

What's this? What nonsense is this?

Olya, you're pregnant.

And that's how they say, here we go.

- We won't be for long.

- It's okay.

This is our head accountant,

Karina Semenyuk.

- Good day.

- Good.

- Why do we need an accountant?

- Why?

Everything should be spick and span,

and we need a witness, too.

Karina Semenyuk,

this patriotically inclined young man here

wants to donate 5000 dollars

for bulletproof vests for our guys.

- Really?

- Yes.

We can handle this through the accounting

so there are no questions for us.

Of course.

I've already prepared everything.

Please sign here. Here and here.

It seems to me you misunderstood me a bit.

Oh no, Yaroslav,

we understood you correctly.

I'll explain later,

so you understand everything correctly.

Sign.

Well done. It's people like you

that our army relies on.

Maybe you'll return at least half?

How do you imagine that, Yaroslav?

So should I go?

You'll go.

You'll definitely go.

You've acted generously,

and I'll thank you for it.

What do you love more,

the sea or the forest?

Well

I mean the Zaporizhzhia direction

or the Sumy direction?

Yaroslav, I'm joking.

You don't have a choice.

Donetsk steppes.

By the way, would you like us

to write about your noble deed

on the Ministry of Defense website?

- No, there's no need.

- That's right.

Modesty adorns.

Go to the medical examination.

I BELIEVE IN THE ARMED FORCES!

Right!

Citizen conscripts,

during air raid alerts,

it is strictly prohibited

for civilians to be on the territory

of the military the commissariat.

Please, evacuate the premises.

Yes.

- Good.

- What's good?

That we didn't flinch.

And now we'll check

if I correctly determined the phase.

One, two, three!

Yes. There's a leak somewhere.

- Can electricity leak?

- Of course.

Yes, partner, I think we won't have time

to connect the unit today,

so, probably, go to the store,

buy something to eat,

and I'll look for the leak.

And don't forget to buy some vodka.

Extra fuel, it won't hurt, you know.

You won't achieve anything here

without me.

I'm responsible for you

in front of the whole family.

Don't worry, everything will be fine.

Let's go. I promise.

So, where do we go to give birth?

And there's a w*r too.

But I'm not a little girl anymore.

- What if I die?

- Olya, we will all die.

What's the point of living

if there's no one to live for?

Shake hands. Oh God.

I don't know,

it's even useful in the early stages.

In the early stages?

Olya, you're already used to pregnancy.

If someone just decided for me, huh?

And do you remember how I ran to you?

Without warning, in snot, in tears.

I begged you to decide

whether to leave Mikhasyk with me.

Do you remember what you told me?

- I don't remember.

- You alone.

- True.

- You're already a grown-up fool.

Thank you.

Sarcasm?

If, Olya, you had told me then

to have an ab*rtion, I would have done it.

And I wouldn't have had Mikhasik.

And without him,

there wouldn't have been me.

So what advice, sometimes unnecessary.

- Tell me, why are you so unpleasant, huh?

- Oh, God.

Well, why didn't you call me more often?

And you?

Well, you're younger too.

- Glory to Ukraine!

- Glory to the heroes!

- Is there cash?

- And can't we do it without cash?

No, we can't.

- Today the terminal isn't working.

- He didn't recognize us, Kostyan.

Well, we're Sopli.

And Uncle Yurko, sons.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

But my brothers aren't.

- Are those your brothers?

- Cousins.

Meet, Kostya, Tyoma.

Hello. I know you. You're Dasha Tykhoplav.

- Kickboxing champion.

- Well, I'll consider it an autograph.

What can you do? w*r. Everyone's on edge.

Here's your compensation.

Need a lift?

Sorry, won't happen again.

Won't what?

Battery died.

Grandpa's house is around the corner.

I've arrived.

Then I'm off.

Let me walk you.

I'll manage.

- I'm Misha, by the way.

- I know who you are.

Zabyaka's grandson.

Weirdo.

Bye.

Bon apptit.

Digging a trench?

I'm warning you,

I won't let you sit it out.

Nah, man.

I want to dig up the moonshine

you buried for my wedding.

Alcoholism isn't a solution,

it's an escape from reality.

Oh God, you're so boring.

There might not even be a wedding.

Then I'll be there to see you off.

What nonsense are you talking?

That's it, man. Ready.

Soldier Zabyaka,

Yaroslav Ivanovich, mobilized. Girls!

Are you home?

Assembly for warmth, armor,

and special transport is announced.

Come here.

Seriously?

Damn times.

Damn era of change. When?

After Easter, man.

So we'll make it in time to have a chat.

Where are you heading after Easter?

Anywhere.

Paying off debts to the homeland.

I apologize.

You went to the recruitment office

with a hernia.

Yeah, so?

Fit for limited service. Well, wartime.

Yarik, you had five thousand reasons

to be unfit at any time, your whole life.

Yeah. Those were the days.

My conscience wouldn't allow me.

But your conscience allowed you

to leave your father alone?

Hear what they say?

And if these healthy ones run out?

What then? Surrender?

We'd screw up the country. Correct?

- Show the draft notice.

- What?

Come on, the draft notice,

runner, summons.

- What did they give you there?

- Oh, right, just a sec.

Just a sec. Must've misplaced it.

Back!

I've never hit you. And it's a pity.

Get lost.

I don't need a coward in the house.

Are you really sending him off to w*r?

- How will you look people in the eye?

- It will happen.

Ivan Andriyovych has so many kids, oh!

Three of them, spares are available.

You, run, look into the eyes

of your best friend Bohdan,

who's heading to the front again

after being wounded.

There.

- They'll k*ll me then.

- When they k*ll you, then!

Quiet, Anya. That's enough, quiet.

- Well done, Dad.

- Go to hell.

Yarik, where are you going? Wait, Yarik!

- Well?

- Oh!

Oh, what?

- Where?

- What where?

- Where?

- Ah, forgot.

One sec.

GOOD FRIDAY

2 DAYS TO EASTER

Grandpa, what are we doing here?

Did we set up the launcher? We did.

Controls are good, and I tested the fuel.

When?

When? At the checkpoint.

Just need to adjust

the fuel consumption rate and fire.

So what else is needed?

- Build a rocket?

- You're kidding.

But no one's going to build anything

because everything's been built before us.

Made in empire of evil. USSR.

- It's a monument, though.

- It's an egg with a needle.

Our little painted egg.

The death of Koschei.

Igor Ivanovich,

just informing you in general.

I found a laboratory where we can

continue our work peacefully.

- It's not big, but it'll do for us.

- I won't come.

What, excuse me? Hard to hear?

All this is tempting! Yes, heard.

To be Igor, damn it, Ivanych

and conduct your experiments

in hotels and outbuildings.

Constantly hear your

soon-to-be and already soon.

Serve you

and your needs according to your schedule.

Go to hell! Sergiyko! You hear?

Yes, I hear you, Igor Ivanovich.

Go to hell!

Hello?

- If we steal it, it's vandalism.

- But no one will steal it.

We'll decommunize it.

- Mikhasyu?

- Ah, great plan. You'll tell me later.

Oh, sh**t.

Well, nothing, I'll manage somehow.

Help!

Hey!

Help, do you hear?

Help!

Zaya!

- Listen, no need to panic!

- Hey!

- We'll do something now!

- Hey! Help!

Oh! What's this?

Anya, what's gotten into me.

Maundy Thursday seems like yesterday.

I set up nets and got tangled.

- There are feet.

- I understand, now.

- Hold on.

- Got it.

That's it.

- No strength.

- Understood.

Let me help. Hold on.

My legs are numb.

Oh, let's go.

By the way, it's hypothermia.

Second stage. Dynamic.

They told us about it in classes.

You're such a trooper.

Then comes stupor. And comatose.

- Followed by death.

- Can you tell me all this by the shore?

Oh, sure. Let's go.

Our warm place is nearby.

There's a bourgeois, warm.

Let's go there.

- I need dry clothes.

- Everything's there.

Great, Bilochko.

Damn it.

Were you taught to knock?

No-no-no. Don't tidy up, leader.

That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

You fully carried out decommunization

in the village, so to speak.

So what? Lenin's gone? Gone.

What's October now, April? Yes.

From Zoya Kosmodemyanskaya

to Maria Zankovetskaya.

So what?

What about the monument "no analogs"

in the center of the village?

"No analogs"?

And why are they launched

from enemy territory

through our cities and villages?

Is this a w*apon of genocide?

Andriyovych, just tell me.

What, you got nothing to do?

Easter's around the corner.

By the way, horseradish is rubbed.

Eggs are dyed.

So you won't remove this

anti-Ukrainian symbol?

No.

Well, understand, I've got things to do.

w*r's at the doorstep.

I have to accept refugees,

resettle them, feed them.

So these are peas for refugees?

Yeah, in horseradish.

Well, I'm helping my wife. Understand?

Here. Please, hold it. Have a drink.

It should get warmer.

What is this tea?

Cognac.

My favorite type of tea.

So, what were you doing

by the river, Anya?

I decided to drown myself.

And maybe throw myself into the sea

in case a golden fish shows up.

And what did you want to wish for?

I told you, to drown.

Quickly and without thoughts.

Harder. Why so weak?

Great. Deserted.

Like a location

from the True Crime podcast.

- Are you sure you're not a maniac?

- Would a maniac confess to it?

This was actually meant to be a picnic.

A picnic is food in nature.

- You're sweet.

- Really?

Well, compared to other

indigenous willows.

You know, I may not be a golden fish,

but I can grant one wish.

And do it three times.

And you're brave.

Gave a cup of tea and ran into battle?

No, you misunderstood.

What I just wanted to suggest

was to relieve tension, that's all.

Just sh**t from three types of weapons.

I have here a TT, AK, and RPK.

- Here

- Hey, Vitaliy.

Who are you there?

I didn't understand anything further.

And I'm a pacifist, after all.

My club.

No water.

Kiss me.

- Seriously?

- I've been training for three years.

Meals by schedule, sleep by schedule,

lessons by schedule. Imagine.

Everyone's at w*r, and I'm on vacation.

A chance to live.

Is it shameful to be happy about it?

It's just a MiG taking off.

Go on, go on.

Quiet. Quietly.

- Are you feeling bad?

- Won't hit me.

Until again.

- Ouch!

- Does it hurt?

No. Nothing serious.

Air alarm canceled.

Ivantsyu,

if you're reading this, the operation

didn't go very well, sorry.

I fought as best I could.

But I guess the Lord

had other plans for me.

I know it will be hard for you.

You'll need time.

But you have Olyonya, Anyutka, and Yarik.

They are the best remedy for pain.

They are our air, our sun, our life.

They are everything to us.

Take care of them,

and they will repay the same.

Together you will overcome everything.

When we have grandchildren,

tell them that I already love them.

And I would like to be there to see them.

You will be happy,

and I will smile with you at all

the important moments of their lives.

Because I will be with you, always.

"With love,

your

mother."

A MONUMENT WILL BE ERECTED HERE

TO THE FUTURE HERO OF UKRAINE,

HRYHORENKO L.S.

- See?

- Well, Zabyaka.

Well, darn it.

- How did you give your life?

- Well

- To whom?

- For the people.

- Well

- What?

- Everything.

- You didn't say to buy anything.

Yeah, so what's everything then?

Demilitarized a m*ssile.

- Cool!

- Shh.

You know, I'd pour you a shot,

but the vodka

is poison.

Eat.

HOLY SATURDAY

1 DAY BEFORE EASTER

Yes.

I boiled some eggs.

Can I dye the eggs?

And what about you?

Decided to finally settle down?

I'm finally closing parental matters.

In what sense?

You're staying, but what about Germany?

Germany has its own life,

I want to have mine.

Sorry for being late.

You wrote 15 minutes ago.

Well, that's it.

My vacation is over.

My parents arranged

training in Spain for me.

Got it.

I wanted to say goodbye,

so I asked them to wait.

- Got it.

- What exactly?

I don't want you to go.

My parents believe I'll be safer there.

And we'll survive this.

My parents are waiting for me.

Don't see me off.

The w*r won't last forever.

It will end soon.

I know.

Grandpa!

Were you being chased by thugs?

Grandpa. Let's end the w*r.

Here.

Write here: "From Zabiaka."

No one has given flowers

for a hundred years.

Thank you.

- I thought we'd go for a walk.

- Never mind walking.

I like that about you.

Businesslike, easygoing.

- I'm a festive woman in general.

- That's true.

It's hard to make plans

for happiness during wartime.

But my plan is this.

I'll introduce you to my parents.

They'll definitely like you.

We'll get married. Myshka, I'll adopt you.

I'm a soldier, I have benefits.

We'll take out a mortgage.

We'll live together.

I'll go pour some jellied meat.

Did I say something wrong?

I lived until 35

according to other people's plans.

Enough. Now I'll decide for myself.

Lord, your house is dancing,

you're so excited.

Just say it.

What is it? I wasn't eavesdropping.

I overheard accidentally.

- Always.

- Because you're stupid.

- What?

- Yes.

Handsome, young. And a soldier too.

Marriage is calling for you.

With a trailer, in your butt years.

- Do you often get proposals?

- Then you're the sister of a stupid.

- Don't forget that.

- This could be the last chance.

No, wait.

Why did I decide this is a chance?

An orgasm is not a reason to get married.

Oh, you're spoiled, Hanna.

And what a reason. Oh

Oh, you're stupid, Olya.

What did I say wrong?

Orgasms often come into your life.

For me, it's like New Year's.

You know how many rituals

I have to go through

to make love with my husband?

I have to send my father-in-law

and mother-in-law to the countryside.

Lock the dog in the closet.

Reschedule the morning meeting for later.

I have to avoid overeating in the evening

so he won't get drunk.

Put a blood pressure pill next to the bed.

And still, there will be a roulette.

Fifty-fifty.

And you say, not a reason.

I'm sorry.

Where should I put this?

There.

So, should I go?

- Yeah.

- Yes.

Olya.

We're starting engine start testing

of the ballistic m*ssile "Krashenka-1."

- Ready?

- Grandpa, are you sure it's not expl*sive?

Nah, I filled it with minimal fuel.

It'll be a small hiss.

The main thing is to check the system.

- I feel like holding back.

- Stop holding back!

Prepare for testing.

Ready?

- Power?

- Power's on.

Power's on, yes.

- Azimuth?

- Set.

- Coordinates?

- Set.

Well, Godspeed.

Contact?

- No contact.

- None.

- Contact?

- None.

Contact, for heaven's sake

- End.

- What? Weakling!

You give up at the start?

I'll be right back.

Grandpa, we need to turn off the power.

Nobody's turning anything off.

Wait for my command.

- Grandpa!

- Run!

- Nothing's working.

- Nothing's working.

And now?

- No.

- What about now?

Grandpa!

Are you alive?

Grandpa!

Yes! Contact!

The microchip burned out.

And finding new parts now

will be very difficult.

We'll find them.

Or we'll launch the rocket later.

- There's time.

- You've got plenty of time, Mykhaylo.

And I'm not backing out

at the last minute.

Grandpa, not today, please.

You're injured.

If only Ivan Voldan

were here a bit longer.

- Who?

- Maximum roast.

You're quite strange, Mykhaylo.

But don't chicken out.

Everything will be fine.

I won't crawl in there again

with a screwdriver.

Grandpa, you're crazy.

- Is that a compliment?

- Of course.

- Thank you.

- What will we tell at home?

- Well, about that.

- We won't say anything.

I'll secretly go down to the cellar,

I have a change of clothes there.

I'll change, wash my face.

No one will notice anything.

Right? Let's go.

Misha!

Mom!

Where WERE YOU?

- Out.

- Out?

And where's grandpa?

We came together, then I went for a walk.

Strange. I haven't seen him in a while.

Look at him.

Look, people,

at this actor from the burned theater.

Here.

This doesn't bode well.

They'll be here soon.

But no one's coming.

I'm telling you, it's just us and Myshko.

Dad, be quiet.

I've heard your version already.

Come on, Mykhaylo, tell us.

Grandpa and I were lighting a bonfire.

Is that all?

- Cross-examination complete. Alibi failed.

- Indefinite house arrest.

- For both.

- Now.

Indefinite. Now. Yes.

- Stop!

- Myshko, bring the potatoes inside.

- Come on, tell us.

- Tell you what?

- Did grandpa tell everything?

- He did.

The static electricity? Synthetic shirt?

We're supposed to believe this nonsense?

Misha, tell us.

It's very serious. You understand

that after the checkpoint exploded,

grandpa could be sent to prison.

- Seriously.

- Let them send him.

- What?

- It's for the best.

Better than nothing.

- Better than death.

- What? Why?

We built a ballistic m*ssile.

- A m*ssile?

- Yes.

- And what?

- "Krashenka-1."

Grandpa wants to sh**t it at the Kremlin.

But it's defective.

He could die.

- Idiot.

- Quiet.

Stop. This doesn't make sense.

The grave will correct the hunchback.

Where is it?

- Where is it?

- Mykhaylo!

Oh, the younger Kozanostra.

And what about you? Already in town.

- And don't wait for the Easter bread.

- Did you have a bath? We need to go.

- Business.

- You see how busy you are.

And what, aren't you saying goodbye?

Oh, Valyukha.

So you're still the same as you

were in school, Marinkevichka

Not with me, silly.

With your friend, Bohdan.

He's going back tomorrow. Back to zero.

- Today is the farewell.

- Ah, right.

So you should come.

You might not see each other again.

- Here it is. "Krashenka-1."

- Why Krashenka?

Grandpa said it'll hit the target

right on the forehead.

Myshko.

Krashenka.

Yes.

What's this? A control panel?

We've set the correct code,

the amplitude, and the trajectory.

God, it's all so fascinating.

The correct code.

Amplitude. Trajectory.

It seems to me

that we need to adjust it a little bit.

Stand still!

Come here! Don't you dare!

For a year and a half, I put bolt to bolt,

nut to nut, assembling all of this.

This

This is the affair of my entire life.

All your nonsense

were the business of your life.

Your life didn't exist.

You're going to die, Dad. And we

- Well, don't you give a damn about us?

- You know nothing!

Yes, of course, we knew nothing

because we were little.

Then we didn't know because we were young.

- Now we don't know because we're foolish?

- Mom

She put her whole life

into your stupid inventions.

I did all this for you.

And mom would approve.

Don't you understand anything?

We don't need this.

We need a father.

Even just for a short while.

Close. Alive.

Grandpa.

The punk himself will die soon.

You'll see.

- Mykhailo, please don't betray me.

- I need you, grandpa.

No way Not a damn thing

I'll grind every last one of them

into the ground!

Alright.

Olenka.

- No, alright.

- Where are you going, Olenka?

We'll be together.

What? Where are you going?

Come on, start your music box.

Come on, Dad.

Come on, let's burn together. Mykhailo.

Myshko.

That's it. Just be careful.

In the end, we're family.

- From small to big. Let's do it.

- What are you looking at? Light it up!

Me, Anya, Misha, your grandson.

I'm pregnant, Dad.

That's it.

The project is closed.

- Yarik. Bro!

- Borya!

- Buddy!

- Good, you're here.

- Are you with bags or am I late?

- And you're about to be late.

- I'm giving birth right here, squatting.

- Lenka, are you pregnant?

Where did you get that?

The tea mushroom fermented,

and I swelled up.

Let's go, Yarik, off the road.

- What are you doing?

- I'm taking you to the maternity hospital.

Sofiya and I are in a hurry

to the district hospital.

- Who is Sofiyka?

- Your future daughter.

Don't mess with me.

- What now?

- I think

Quiet, quiet, breathe.

- Breathe, breathe.

- Don't breathe.

What's going on, young family?

Are we delivering?

Let's get to the car.

Help.

Open the door for me.

Not there, open it properly.

Not like that, open it.

Will you help or what?

EASTER

- Mom, I'm ready.

- Come here.

What are you ready for

if you're not ready?

Oops.

So, what's going on?

- You're definitely not going?

- Definitely not.

Definitely.

Something's jumping the g*n.

These conversations

don't just pass me by anymore.

From the squirrel?

Forgive me.

That's enough, Dad.

Why apologize so much?

Are you saying goodbye?

Okay, go ahead.

Our priest is young, he's in a hurry.

He seems talkative.

He might not make it

to the end of the ceremony.

Alright, let's go.

We're ready.

They didn't allow us

to stay at the hospital.

That's a downside.

But we have time to stroll. That's a plus.

For my firstborn.

Taras.

Hold on, which Taras? There was Sonia.

- Do you have twins?

- We didn't do an ultrasound.

Lenka is sure it's a daughter.

But I know it's Taras.

Listen, aren't you, well, by law,

entitled to a deferment?

By law, yes, but not by conscience.

The guys are waiting for me.

I can't imagine

what Lenka's going through.

- God forbid, if something happens.

- Why?

- Are you burying me?

- No! What?

I just worry about the young family.

You're more cheerful.

No one lives forever.

And if something happens to me,

I know why.

For the house.

For the old apple tree in the yard.

For mother.

For the mother of my children.

For Tarik or Sofia to be free.

So that their lives aren't ruined

by this brotherly love.

If there's any help needed there,

well, anything like armor, warm clothes,

just let me know.

I told you, I'm a volunteer.

If there's armor, warm clothing,

or anything else, we'll get it all.

And

in general, write, don't be shy.

Bodia

AGENDA

BROTHER, REST - I'LL SUB IN

Christ is risen!

Indeed He is risen!

Christ is risen!

Indeed He is risen!

Christ is risen!

- Indeed He is risen!

- Is there trouble? Shelling, rockets?

The map is clear.

Oh, my God.

Myshko!

Dad.

Oh, my God.

Come on, stop!

- You can't go there.

- Dad's over there!

- Dad's over there

- There's a fire!

Yuri, our dad's over there,

we need to find him.

- Please, Yuri.

- Let it burn.

- Then we'll search, my condolences.

- What are you saying?

- My God, what are you saying?

- Well, I told you.

I ordered you to take him away from here.

He said the project is closed.

Vitaliy, take them home.

- Let's go to the car.

- Which car, Vitaliy?

- Get to the car quickly.

- Which car, Vitaliy?

Where did you go, Dad?

What about us?

Well, well, he didn't go anywhere.

He's here, with us.

I know.

But where the heck, do you happen to know?

What's this cold without a helmet?

- Dad?

- Dad?

- Did you come back to life?

- Indeed He is risen.

Oh, my God, Dad!

What have you done here,

you've made a storm like "Katrina"?

- And what about the rocket?

- What about it?

- Everything's on fire.

- It wasn't there.

- Where's your helmet?

- Alright, that's it.

Boys, girls, closed the taps,

opened the Kagor.

- Because we really want to talk.

- We forgot the holy wine in the car.

Here.

- Come on. Well, well

- Oh, my God.

Easter without Kagor.

It's like GUR without Budanov.

We will have to gut the stocks.

Oh, my God.

We forgot the holy wine in the car.

Shall I set it up?

- You seen the news?

- No.

Come, I'll show you.

Now. Here.

Russian sources report

that a few minutes ago

an expl*si*n occurred

in the Moscow Kremlin.

According to preliminary data,

it was a result of a m*ssile strike.

Where it was launched from,

and the type of m*ssile

are not yet determined.

But in the footage from the expl*si*n site

a fragment can be seen,

which has

"From Ivan Zabiyaka" written on it

- The Kremlin?!

- Yes!

So, it turns out your father died a hero.

It couldn't have been otherwise.

Oh, my God!

- Here you go

- He's alive!

You've annoyed me enough

with calling me that.

Alive!

You need to tell the boys

to stop putting you in a box there.

Alright, let's all go

to the Easter table already, at last.

I'll grab a chair, I'll go

Oh! Like this.

- Dad!

- Yes, let's go!

- You can't.

- Yes, you can

No, you can't, you can't.

Then just sit down already.

Okay.

- Wow.

- And this

Yeah, well, Christ is risen,

and Ukraine will rise too.

What's wrong with the flag, huh?

Okay, let's all grandchildren, children,

potential son-in-law,

forgive us, Lord,

let's all go to the flag.

Let's, let's.

I hope I'll have grandchildren.

Oh, Dad, I think

the world can handle one more Zabiyaka.

Zabiyachko.

- It'll be a girl.

- How do you know?

Well, I remember mom

when she was pregnant with you.

You're her copy.

- Really?

- Mhm.

- Let's name her Marichka. After mom.

- Okay.

Oh, son-in-law,

enough admiring there already.

Get ready for

the solemn raising of the flag.

Well?

Mykhasyk, raise the flag.

Let's go.

Ukraine has not yet perished

Nor her glory, nor her freedom!