01x16 - This Looks Like A Job For Bat-Mite!

[bunniefuu]

[SIREN WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

BATMAN: Greetings, Bat-fans.

This is Batman.

And Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And me too: Bat-Mite.

Welcoming you to The New
Adventures of Batman.

Watch us wage our
never-ending battle

of good versus evil.

ROBIN: Ride with us as we chase
the greatest array of villains

the world has ever seen,

proving that crime
does not pay.

BATMAN: Get set for
thrills and action.

Join me, Batman.

And me: Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And Batgirl.

And me too: Bat-Mite.

ROBIN: In the super
New Adventures of--

BATMAN: Batman.

[♪♪♪]

[SIREN WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

[BUZZES]

Time for breakfast, Zarbor.

[GASPS] He's gone!

But-- But-- That's impossible!

Not now, it isn't.

Bye-bye.

[LAUGHS]

And now, Batman and Robin,

it is time you paid for putting
The Great Zarbor into prison.

[LAUGHS] [BEEPS]

[♪♪♪]

[d*ck GRUNTING]

And to think I gave up a nice,
quiet game of chess for this.

He's all yours, Bruce.

No, you don't, Brucie-boy.

I want a crack at Zarbor.

Bat-Mite... I mean, after all,

he is one of my people,

so it only seems right
that I should get to--

Bat-Mite!

--punch his lights out, and--

Bat-Mite! Yes, sir.

Don't call me "Brucie-boy."

d*ck: The Bat-Signal.

That can only mean trouble.

Let's go, d*ck.

Be right with you, guys.

First I gotta do a number
on old, dumb Zarbor.

Piece of cake.

[CRASH]

Upside-down cake.

Hi, guys.

Did you take care
of Zarbor, Bat-Mite?

Oh, yeah.

No problem for a karate
expert such as myself.

Zarbor's no problem
for anybody anymore.

Yeah, I can see him sitting in
his escape-proof cell right now,

wishing he could
get his hands on us.

[ROBIN LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECH]

ROBIN: Holy headstands!

What happened, commissioner?

Darnedest thing I
ever saw, Robin.

I was working in my office

when all of a sudden
the whole building

did a big flip-flop.

Luckily, nobody was hurt.

Only one fiendish fellow

could levitate an entire
building like this.

Yeah. Zarbor.

But he's locked up.

ZARBOR: You are wrong.

I'm free as a bird.

[LAUGHS]

BATMAN: So it was you.

Yes, you guessed
right, Caped Creep-o,

but you won't be
around long enough

to collect any medals for it.

Why not?

Because you are
both coming with me.

ROBIN: Holy lightning
bolt, Batman! Look out!

You shouldn't have
done that, Boy Blunder.

Hey, no fair.

[COUGHING]

Sorry to rain on
your parade, Zarbor.

I'll be back--

[COUGHING]

--for you, Batman.

[CRIES]

He took Robin
away! Poor Robin.

[CRYING]

Don't worry, Bat-Mite.
We'll get Robin back.

Oh, good. That's a
load off my mind.

Dad, look.

City hall's right-side up again.

GORDON: Well, that solves
one problem, Barbara.

But now we have a bigger one:

Finding out what Zarbor
wants with Batman and Robin.

Maybe the Batcomputer can
come up with some answers.

ROBIN: Holy conspiracy!

What do you want
with us, Zarbor?

I am going to rule
the entire Earth,

and you and Batman
are going to help me.

You're nuts.

Am I?

You're already here,

and Batman will soon take
his place beside you.

You've forgotten
one thing. Oh?

We never help
turkeys like you.

[CHUCKLES]

But of course you
will, dear boy,

after my mind-ray
converts you to a more,

shall we say, sensible
way of thinking?

Now, don't run off.

I'll be back again with
your blundering buddy,

Batman.

Batcomputer, do
you have any idea

where Zarbor has taken Robin?

BATCOMPUTER: Negative.

Zarbor could be anywhere.

He has amazing powers.

Big deal. So have I.

Not like Zarbor.

Oh, yeah? Watch this.

Not now, Bat-Mite.

I wanna teach this big box
of Bat-baloney a lesson.

Now, there's amazing power.

And there's the Bat-Signal.

The Bat-Signal?

[BATCOMPUTER LAUGHS]

What's so funny?

That's the result
of amazing power.

BATCOMPUTER: The most amazing
thing about your power

is that you've
survived it this long.

[LAUGHS]

[ENGINE REVVING]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

What's up, commissioner?

GORDON [OVER RADIO]:
"What's up?"

Half of Gotham City is up,

and I'm fed up.

It looks like another
one of Zarbor's lures

to trap you, Batman.

Be careful.

BATMAN: Thanks
for the warning.

I'll keep my eyes open.

Batman, there he is.

Hello, Batman.

Pardon me for being so uppity.

[LAUGHS]

Get it? Uppity?

Yuck! His sense of humor's
as bad as his manners.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

Now, listen here, Zarbor--

No, you listen, Batman.

Either you come
along with me now,

or I snap my fingers

and we have the world's
biggest brick pile.

You wouldn't.

He would. He would.

Zarbor, over here.

What?

Batman, you tricked me.

Look out. He's trying
to snap his fingers.

Bat-Mite, press
the orange button.

Roger, dodger.

[BUZZES]

[SNAPS]

You've pulled your last stunt,

my dear friend, Batman.

Not quite.

Gotcha. Yipes!

Now, that's what I
call a flying tackle.

ZARBOR: Let me go. Let me go.

Oh, no.

Now we'll have to start
looking all over again.

But finding Zarbor
is like looking

for a needle in a haystack.

Where do we start?

A good question, commissioner.

I know. We start with my--

[SNIFFS]

--sniffer.

I can smell an
Ergonian 50 miles away.

What do I have to lose?

Have you got anything
yet, Bat-Mite?

Yeah.

[SNEEZES] A cold.

BATMAN: Come on, we've
been driving around

for nearly an hour.

We're getting close.

I can feel it.

[SNIFFS] There.

I smell him. I smell Zarbor.

Good work,
Bat-Mite. Which way?

There.

BATMAN: Zarbor is
on Mount Rushmore?

[TIRES SCREECH]

That's what my nose says.

Well, I hope your nose knows
what it's talking about.

Come on, we'll
take the Batgyro.

All right, Bat-Mite,
here we are.

So where's Zarbor?

I don't know, but keep moving.

We're getting warmer.

ZARBOR: This is my lucky day.

I can hardly believe it.

Batman is delivering himself
right to my front door.

[AIR HISSES]

[RUMBLING]

Hey! Open up! Batman!

Oh, boy. This is a
real Bat-tastrophe.

The Dynamic Duo's done for,
unless I can rescue them.

At last I have the Dynamic
Duo where I want them:

On my side.

Once I throw these switches

and my mind-machine
takes over,

they'll be known as
the Crime Crusaders.

[MACHINE HUMMING]

[ZARBOR LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]

Mr. President,

the Navy Department
has recently--

Good evening, gentlemen.

PRESIDENT: Batman and Robin.

What an unexpected surprise.

We're not here as
friends, Mr. President.

We are now your enemies.

PRESIDENT: Enemies?

But I don't understand.

Is this some kind of joke?

No joke, Mr. President.

Me and the Caped Crusaders

are going to rule the world.

ADMIRAL: They're
crazy. Grab them!

[ZARBOR LAUGHS]

Just like little
fish out of water,

right, Dynamic Duo?

Right, Zarbor.

All right, get to work.

I have a worldwide television
appearance to make.

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

[HORN BLARING]

[GRUNTS]

[ENGINE STARTS] Oh, boy!

You stupid horn!

Oh, boy!

[TIRES SQUEAL]

Batgirl.

What are you doing
here, Bat-Mite?

I was trying to find
Batman and Robin,

but my finger got
stuck in the horn,

and I didn't know where
the starter was, and I--

Never mind.

Any luck finding
Batman and Robin?

Well, no, but I--

[OVER RADIO] Batgirl, this
is Commissioner Gordon.

Do you read me?

Go ahead, commissioner.

Turn on your Bat-Vision.

You won't believe it.

Leaders of Earth,

my name is Zarbor,

and I have come from
the dimension of Ergo

to take over as
your new world-ruler.

And the famed Crime
Crusaders, Batman and Robin,

will assist me.

Batgirl, how--?

Shh!

Do not doubt my powers,
for as you can see,

the president and
his chiefs of staff

have discovered the hard way
that I am deadly serious.

But I do not believe in
standing on past victories,

so here is a new
display of my powers.

Somehow, Zarbor's turned
Batman and Robin into bad guys.

We've gotta find them
before it's too late.

Commissioner, Bat-Mite and I
are on our way to Washington.

GORDON: Right,
Batgirl. And good luck.

But-- But-- But, Batgirl,

Washington is four
hours from here.

Not if we use
the jet-boosters.

We'll be there in 10 minutes.

[ENGINE STARTS]

ZARBOR: Things are happening very
quickly now, my evil friends,

and banks all over the country
are waiting for you to pick up

my-- Oh, I mean, our money.

Whatever you say, Zarbor.

Excellent.

Now, you will need some
transportation to carry my--

I mean, our money. --in.

Here is the list of all
the banks donating money.

[LAUGHS]

Now, get going,
Crime Crusaders,

and if you need
me, I'll be here

at our new White House.

[LAUGHS]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[♪♪♪]

MAN: That's an even
million dollars, Batman.

Robin and I and
Zarbor thank you.

Why are you doing this, Batman?

Two reasons:

Wealth and power.

[BATMAN LAUGHS]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

Batgirl, I saw the
Batmobile down that street.

Well, Robs, another
bank, another million.

[BATMAN LAUGHS]

BAT-MITE: Hi, Caped Crusaders.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

Hey, wait up, guys.

We wanna talk to you.

They're still
behind us, Batman,

and starting to gain.

BATMAN: I'll take
care of that.

[BAT-MITE COUGHING]

They're getting away, Batgirl.

Stay with them,
Bat-Mite. Use your magic.

Good idea. See ya.

ROBIN: That smoke screen
worked like a charm, Batman.

Good. How many banks are left?

Three. You know
something, Robs,

crime does pay.

[LAUGHS]

Hi, Caped Crusaders.

Not anymore, Bat-Mite.

We're the Crime Crusaders.

Now, buzz off.

No way. You're
still the good guys.

Zarbor's mind-ray has
just messed up your head.

Buzz off, Rat-Mite.

I'm staying.

You're going.

Staying.

BATMAN: Going.

BAT-MITE: Going!

ROBIN: Right on,
Crime Crusader.

[ROBIN LAUGHS]

BATGIRL: Bat-Mite,
are you all right?

I think my ego is bruised.

What happened?

I was given the heave-ho.

But Bat-Mite doesn't
give up easily,

and I think I've got a plan
that'll turn Batman and Robin

back into good guys.

See you, Batgirl.

Bat-Mite, wait!

What's your plan?

Sometimes this job
is really a pain.

Listen to me, Caped Crusaders.

I've got a plan that'll break
Zarbor's mind-ray spell.

Out of the way, Bat-Mite.

Look at this.

Remember this caper
with the Joker?

You don't wanna turn out to be
a creep like the Joker, do ya?

Yeah, I remember that caper.

Out of the way, Bat-Mite.

BAT-MITE: Well,
how 'bout the--?

Oh, boy!

Fill it up.

You've gone too far,
you pint-sized turkey.

Remember these capers, guys?

Oh, I'm getting a headache.

Holy migraine. Same here.

BAT-MITE: That
means it's working.

Keep looking at
the pictures, guys.

Did your plan work, Bat-Mite?

We'll know in a second.

Bat-Mite? Batgirl?

What--? What happened?

Zarbor turned you into bad
guys with his mind-ray.

Holy brainwashing.

Yeah, now I remember.

We were helping him
take over the world.

BATMAN: Somehow
we've gotta stop him.

There's only one way to
cut off Zarbor's powers,

Caped Crusader,

and that's with a
solid, steel box.

But the problem will be
getting him inside it.

You're right, Batgirl,
that's a big problem.

[SNAPS] No, it isn't.

I've got a plan
that can't fail.

BATMAN: At this point,
anything's worth a try.

Taking over the world was
easier than I thought,

especially with
the Crime Crusaders

doing most of the work.

Right, fellas?

[ZARBOR LAUGHS]

BATMAN: We have a couple of
surprises for you, Zarbor.

Batgirl.

How did you ever manage that?

Piece of cake.

We got Bat-Mite too, boss.

Bat-Mite?

Oh, this is my lucky day.

ROBIN: Want a closer look?

[SNIFFS]

Funny, I don't
smell an Ergonian--

You take me for a fool?

BATMAN: Give it up, Zarbor.

Zarbor never gives up.

Now we've had it.

He's in the
Batmobile. Let's go.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

Use the Bat-Hooks.

[ENGINE REVVING]

Oh, good. They want to play.

Robin, when we're
back on the ground,

use your remote device

and steer the Batmobile
near that garbage truck.

I'm going to try
and put Zarbor

where he belongs.

Right, Batman.

What is this?

BATMAN: Good, hold
it there, Robin.

Adiós, Zarbor.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

ZARBOR: That is no fair.

A dirty trick.

Let me out of here.

You know something, guys?

I think Zarbor has
found a new home.

Gadzooks, it smells in here.

Help!

[BATMAN, ROBIN
AND BATGIRL LAUGH]

BATCOMPUTER: Bat Message.

Well, Batman,

old Zarbor is
finally behind bars.

If it hadn't been
for Bat-Mite--

Bat-Mite? Uh-oh.

BAT-MITE: Let me out of
here, you dynamic turkeys!

What's the big idea
of locking me up

in that dumb box, huh?

We'll make it up to you.

Cross your hearts?

BATMAN: Cross our hearts.

Okay, teach me how
to drive the Batboat,

Batmobile, Batcopter...

[♪♪♪]