(upbeat music)
♪ Look at what's happened to me ♪
♪ I can't believe it myself
♪ Suddenly I'm up on top of the world ♪
♪ Should have been somebody else ♪
♪ Believe it or not
♪ I'm walkin' on air
♪ I never thought I could feel so real ♪
♪ Flyin' away on a wing and a prayer ♪
♪ Who could it be
♪ Believe or not, it's just me
♪ Just like the light of a new day ♪
♪ Hit me from out of the blue
♪ Breaking me out of the spell I was in ♪
♪ Makin' all of my wishes come true ♪
♪ Believe it or not
♪ I'm walkin' on air
♪ I never though I could feel so real ♪
♪ Flyin' away on a wing and prayer ♪
♪ Who could it be
♪ Believe it or not, it's just me ♪
♪ Who could it be
♪ Believe it or not, it's just me ♪
(upbeat music)
(bell tolling)
- This is Special Agent Bill Maxwell, FBI,
audio report, May 15th, 1986.
(throat clearing)
Life used to be so simple for me.
Ordinary, card-carrying, FBI agent,
trying to do the best job that I know how
for my country.
So I'm holding my own.
Everything's just going along, by the book.
Until
they decided to team me up
with a schoolteacher named Ralph Hinkley
and kidnap me to Palmdale
and my life took a sharp into the margin.
(spaceship whirring) (triumphant music)
(dramatic music)
(engines roaring)
(upbeat music) (radios crackling)
- [Announcer] You.
- [Announcer] Have.
- [Announcer] Been.
- [Announcer] Chosen.
- [Announcer] For.
- [Announcer] Suit.
- [Announcer] With unearthly powers.
- Unearthly powers.
- [Announcer] Use.
- [Announcer] Suit.
- [Announcer] To.
- [Announcer] Solve.
- [Announcer] World.
- [Announcer] Problems.
- A suit?
I don't need a suit, I got plenty of suits.
- [Bill] So there I was, partnered up
with this high school teacher in red jammies,
for the next five years, thick and thin,
muck and mire, better or worse.
(Bill yelling)
We were a team.
Things got a little weird there at the beginning.
Especially since Ralph managed
to lose the book of instruction
how to use the suit that they gave us.
Anyway, we made the best out of a very weird deal.
(electricity crackling)
- Ralph, are you okay.
- Don't touch me, don't touch me!
I'm charged with electricity.
- You're what?
What happened?
(metal clanging)
- Table's set, let's eat.
- Did you see that?
Look at that!
(metal clanking)
(dramatic music) (air whooshing)
(Ralph groaning)
♪ He casts us into a shadow
♪ He wears a three-foot smile
♪ The ladies love his manners
♪ The men admire his style
♪ You know him when you see him ♪
♪ He's here and then he's gone
- Ralph?
♪ The living legend rides away
(Ralph screaming)
♪ Heroes are human
♪ No one sees that side
♪ Sometimes they get lonely
♪ Sometimes I look around
♪ Heroes are human
♪ They do the best they can
♪ But after all the hero's just a man ♪
(air whistling)
- What is he doing!
(Ralph groans)
And then it happened.
The one thing we were all scared to death
of from the beginning.
Worst case nightmare scenario.
- [Woman] Oh my god!
(people screaming)
- Are you all right?
- Mr. Hinkley, America salutes you.
(people clapping)
- [People] Yay, yay!
- Oh no! (people cheering)
(sirens wailing)
(people cheering)
(people clapping)
(cameras clicking)
- [Man] Yay!
(cameras clicking)
- [President] Congratulations, Mr. Hinkley.
You've just proved to us
what we've suspected for a while now.
This country, truly does have the Greatest American Hero.
(people cheering) (people clapping)
(cameras clicking)
(dramatic music)
- Before you knew it, my old pal Ralph went
from secret superhero
to regular guest on "The Tonight Show."
- Marty, come on, man, Travolta?
He's not even blonde.
No, we need someone younger, more carefree looking.
More spontaneous.
- More egotistical.
- I don't know, Marty.
I mean, that's why you're my agent, buddy.
Come on, you figure this stuff out.
Let me know what you come up with.
Give me a call and we'll do lunch sometime, all right?
All right, bye.
They want to do the Ralph Hinkley story,
but they don't want to do it realistically.
- Why should they, Ralph?
There's nothing realistic about any of this.
- What are you talkin' about?
- Look at yourself, Ralph.
Look at our lives.
This is a joke.
- Oh! (sighs)
- It was bad enough
when we just had the suit to contend with.
Now we have the suit and we have your publicity tour.
Not to mention all the people
who are calling and writing for special favors.
This has got to stop.
(phone ringing)
- That's probably Marty.
What are you doing?
- This is my car, Ralph.
If I'd wanted a phone in it, I would have put it in myself!
- All right, Pamela, let's talk.
All right, pull over.
(engine puttering)
Honey, I know how you feel.
I wasn't exactly thrilled
when I realized that the secret was out.
But it is, it is, Pamela!
And we're going to have to cope with it.
We can't change who we are.
- I realize that, Ralph.
But this celebrity status doesn't become you.
It's turned you into another guy.
And I want my old Ralph Hinkley back!
I want him back before things get totally out of hand
and our lives fall apart.
(bright music)
(locks clicking)
(windows scraping)
Ralph, what's going on?
- I don't know.
(key clicking) (engine puttering)
- [Both] Palmdale.
(gears grating)
(tires squealing)
(upbeat music)
(engine whooshing) (dramatic music)
(gears grating)
(radio crackling)
- [Announcer] Prepare.
- [Announcer] For.
- [Announcer] Meeting.
- [Announcer] This.
- [Announcer] A.
- [Announcer] Serious.
- [Announcer] Matter.
(engine roaring)
(engine whooshing)
(dramatic music)
(footsteps clicking)
(angelic music) (woman vocalizing)
- Let me assert my firm belief
that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
- Ask not what America will do for you,
but what together we can do for the freedom of man.
- My sisters and brothers, I have a dream today.
- Live from New York, it's "Saturday Nights." (laughs)
You want to see me break a ball with my teeth. (yelling)
(sirens wailing)
(somber music)
- Please, have a seat.
Mr. Hinkley, we saw you on "The d*ck Cavett Show."
- d*ck Cavett, huh? (laughs)
I didn't know you could get that stuff up here.
That's great.
What am I saying?
I mean, of course they get that stuff up here.
You probably have cable too, don't you?
- You are a celebrity now, Mr. Hinkley.
You and the suit are known to the world.
This situation will not work.
We must make the world forget.
- You can make the whole world forget
they ever knew about Ralph and the suit?
- All we have to do is give the suit to someone else.
- Give the suit to someone else?
You mean,
I have to resign?
I can't believe it.
It's over?
All those things I used to take for granted.
All gone.
- Well, it was good while it lasted.
And you'll always have your memories.
Or will he?
What about me?
I mean, I put up with a lot of stuff.
I deserve to remember too.
(aliens clicking)
- You may remember also, Mrs. Hinkley.
- What about Bill?
Bill Maxwell.
- You think it important that Mr. Maxwell remember this?
- No, what if we give him the suit?
(alien groans)
Now wait a minute.
Bill's already wired up on this whole thing.
I mean, sure he gets carried away once in a while.
But deep down inside, he's a,
he's a pretty good guy.
- But, Mr. Hinkley, the owner of this suit
must be more than a pretty good guy.
- Well, I remember when Ralph was chosen.
It was because you guys were looking
for someone with a strong moral character,
a healthy idealism, altruistic nature
and true integrity, right?
- [Both] Not Bill.
- Mr. Maxwell was always to serve just as an associate.
I see no problem with him continuing in that capacity.
- What am I supposed to do?
I mean, there's a lot of people out there.
I don't know if I'll have a chance to interview everyone.
- Oh, you will find someone I'm sure.
And when you do, you will know it.
Good luck in your mission, Mr. Hinkley,
and thank you for all you have done.
You are dismissed.
(footsteps tapping) (chairs whirring)
- Excuse me, about the instruction book.
- [Alien] We've given you two already, Mr. Hinkley.
Surely you haven't lost it again?
- Oh, no, no, of course not.
But--
- Good.
Because we have no more to give.
- I understand.
No problem.
- What are you gonna do without the book to pass on?
- I don't know!
- [Bill] And so the search began.
♪ Everybody searching for a hero ♪
♪ People need someone to look up to ♪
♪ I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs ♪
♪ A lonely place to be
♪ And so I learned to depend on me ♪
♪ I decided long ago
♪ Never to walk in anyone's shadows ♪
♪ If I fail, if I succeed
♪ At least I live as I believe
♪ No matter what they take from me ♪
♪ They can't take away my dignity ♪
♪ Because the greatest love of all ♪
♪ Is happening to me
♪ I've found the greatest
♪ Love of all inside of me
♪ The greatest love
♪ Of all
♪ Is easy to achieve
♪ Learning to love yourself
♪ It is the greatest love of all ♪
(electricity crackling)
- It was gonna be a very extensive search
because old Ralph couldn't pick his trusted friend,
Maxwell, who was obviously best suited for the job
and to receive El Suito.
No, no, he had to pick somebody new.
Okay, I'm not gonna beat a dead horse.
I accepted that.
Standards however were gonna be a little bit high.
You know, needle in a haystack, 12 1/12 on a 10 scale,
that kind of stuff.
I agreed to that too.
And then he has to go and get creative on me.
- And bring it up and presto!
- This is fun.
- It's okay, but personally, I prefer paintbrushes.
- What are paintbrushes?
- Oh, Timothy, you're still so young.
- Okay, I want everybody to look up this way.
We're gonna use different finger combinations
to make different pictures.
Now, if I held my fingers like this,
what does this look like to you?
- A bird.
- A bird!
- Very good!
And you take it like this and make little wings.
Now, what does this remind you of.
- Dog. - Dog!
- Can I play?
- Oh, hi, Ralph.
Hey I saw you on d*ck Cavett.
- Oh, you did, huh?
Seems like a lot of people did.
- What's that? Oh, it's a car with green paint.
- [Ralph] It's a nice place you got here.
- Oh, thanks, Ralph.
I like it and the kids are great.
- Everyone seems to be having a real good time.
- Is that a race track, okay.
- [Ralph] Gotta hand it to ya, Holly.
Takes a lot of guts to take care of all these kids everyday.
- Beautiful, I really like that.
- [Ralph] They oughta give you hazard pay or something.
- Well, I kind of like to think of it
as basic training for when I have my own family.
- [Ralph] Oh yeah?
- Listen. (imitating truck puttering)
- Think you might?
- Well, I'd like too.
If the right guy comes along.
What are you doing, David?
- That's always the hard part, isn't it?
Finding the right guy.
- [Holly] Yeah.
Now what do you have here?
- Of course, you know when you do.
- Is this a hamster?
Can I use this?
- Everything else is gonna have to take a back seat.
- A back seat?
- Mm-hmm.
- That's really pretty, you think you can draw it?
- I mean, your hobbies.
Well, your Freedom Life Organization, for example.
I would imagine that it would be fairly difficult
to stay involved with something like that
when your personal life was heading off
in another direction.
- Ralph, Freedom Life isn't a hobby.
None of these things are.
If I was looking for something to fill up idle time,
I'd collect stamps.
Freedom Life and these kids and my Anything's Pawsible,
Lost and Found, Business for Animals,
all of those things, they are my life.
And if I met somebody who wasn't as willing
to share these things as I am,
then he wouldn't be Mr. Right.
- Then all these causes and activities
that you're so involved with, I mean,
it's not just a passing phase,
you're honestly committed to them?
- Ralph, I know what I believe in.
I don't think I'm gonna change
if that's what you're wondering.
- No, actually, I wasn't wondering about that at all.
Actually, what I was wondering is,
how do you look in red?
- What?
(patriotic music)
(car rattling)
(horn honking)
- [Bill] Okay, some things never change.
You said be here at one, it's now 2:15.
So what else is new?
- Sorry, Bill, we had a bit of a problem on takeoff.
- Takeoff?
- (sighs) He means getting out of the driveway.
It's hard getting past all the tourists.
- Oh, yeah, I saw that.
All those autograph freaks on your front lawn.
They're still there, huh?
- Mm-hmm. - Well, that ought to clear up
as soon as we pass on the suit.
So, ah, we got a scenario or ah?
I mean, this is Palmdale.
I hate it out here, Ralph.
This is where it all started.
It means we're gonna have
the little green guys coming in or what?
- Well, I'm not exactly sure,
but I thought we ought to be out here
in case something went wrong.
- What's to go wrong?
What are you talking about.
- Bill.
I passed it on.
The suit.
- You passed on the suit?
To somebody else!
Without even asking, without running it by me?
Without checking?
How could you do that to me, kid?
- It's right, Bill, I know it is.
Now the green guys said that
when I found the right person, I would know it.
And I know it, Bill, she's the right person, Bill.
Isn't she the right person?
- Yeah, well she may be the right person
for him but what about...
She!
- What did I tell ya?
- Hang tough, hun.
- Ralph, you did it to me, didn't ya?
He did it, didn't he!
You picked a skirt!
- He picked a woman!
- No!
It's bad enough you wouldn't fight
for your old pal, Maxwell, to get the suit.
That's hard enough to swallow.
Now you've got me paired up with Nancy Drew?
- Holly Hathaway.
- Who?
- Holly--
- Who cares?
- Bill, give her a chance.
I already told her all about you.
- But he lied, so you're safe.
- Bill, she's got everything.
Strong moral character, integrity, she's altruistic,
warm, she's kind, she loves children and pets.
She loves helping people.
- Yeah, you left out brave, clean and reverent.
Sounds like Miss America.
- [Holly] Fold the runway, I'm comin' in.
- [Bill] Councilor, that is not funny.
(upbeat music)
(bodies thudding) (Holly and Bill groaning)
- [Holly] You must be Bill.
- [Ralph] Holly, you're gonna have to work on that.
- I know, yeah, I'm fine.
I caught a downdraft and it kind of threw off my landing.
Ralph, you were right, this cape is so cumbersome
and, you know, I'm not so sure about these little shoes.
They're so blah!
Maybe we could go with a nice pump.
- Ah, Holly, I think you better forget redesigning the suit.
I think the green guys are kind of locked into this model.
- That's too bad, because, you know,
I really do think it's got a lot of potential.
- You know, you're right, it does.
- It does?
- Oh, ah, Holly, this is Bill Maxwell.
Bill Maxwell, meet Holly Hathaway, your new partner.
- What's the story?
You and I are kind of like partners, huh?
You kind of sniff out the trouble spots
and then at the last minute I fly in
and save the day. (laughs)
Is that kind of how the picture goes?
- Well, I don't know.
Is that kind of how the picture goes, Ralph?
- Ah, well, basically, yes. (laughs)
I mean, obviously, Bill has access to a lot of case files
and crimes that he's gonna need help with.
But Holly, feel free to suggest anything
that you might like to do.
- Yeah, like you could set up a summer camp for squirrels.
- Now, Bill, I already explained to Holly everything
that we know the suit is capable of doing.
Unfortunately, I was unable to wrangle
a new instruction book out of the green guys.
- What?
Ralph, you gotta be kidding!
- We weren't exactly in a position to argue, Bill.
- But hey, I know you two are gonna work it out.
I mean, we did.
We were able to make it work real well.
(Bill groaning) (bones cracking)
Oh, Holly, you have to be careful of your strength
when you're wearing the suit.
(Holly laughs)
Bill, do you remember the time
that I broke your hand when I went to shake it?
- Which time?
- We made it work, like a real team.
- Yeah, like a real team.
(upbeat music)
Like a real team.
So?
- Yeah.
- Bill.
♪ Sometimes things don't work out like you planned ♪
♪ All you want to do is lend a hand ♪
♪ The good times turn out bad
- Councilor, you're a real trooper, kid.
The best.
♪ Comes out sad
- Well, I did the best I could
♪ Sometimes things don't work out like you planned. ♪
- (sniffles) Friendship is so beautiful.
- Is she gonna do this a lot?
- Probably not.
Tell you what, why don't the two of you get together
and learn some things about each other?
I'm sure you're gonna find this is a great matchup.
- You're absolutely right, Ralph.
We're gonna make a terrific team.
I'm gonna make you really proud that you chose me.
You too, Bill.
(metal creaking)
(Holly laughs)
Is this wild or what?
♪ 'Cause sometimes things work out just like you planned ♪
(whistle shrilling)
(upbeat music)
(air whooshing)
(ball cracking)
(air whooshing)
(football booming)
(football whistling)
(football thudding)
(body thudding)
(metal creaking)
(metal thudding)
(bell ringing)
(Holly laughing)
- Boy was that ever fun!
It was better than an aerobics class.
You know, we might oughta get you involved
in some kind of exercise program too, Bill.
Certainly couldn't hurt.
- Yeah, well let's worry about me
when we get you in shape, okay.
This junk today was the easy stuff.
Wait til we get started with the,
really, (groans) hard stuff, with the flying for example.
- You know, Bill, I really don't think
I'm gonna do so bad with the flying.
You know why?
Now, don't get me wrong, or anything,
because I don't want you to think I'm sexist.
Because I'm not.
But I really think that when it comes to flying
that the female body is aerodynamically perfect.
And I think after I practice my landing a couple of times
that I'll probably have it down pretty good.
Maybe I could start taking on passengers,
or at least you, Bill, I mean,
at least it would be a little more convenient.
- Yeah, I guess it would be.
If what we wanted to do was start an airline service,
which we don't.
Look--
(Holly screams)
What's the matter, what happened?
- Wow, was that ever weird.
- What was, what happened?
- Well, I was putting my brush in my purse
when I happened to pick up this letter,
when, wham-o, it just hit me.
- What hit you?
- It was like a torpedo just exploding in the water.
Torpedo exploding?
- Yeah, it was really weird,
like seeing a w*r movie or something.
- Yes, a holograph.
- A holograph?
- Well, it's what we call 'em.
Holographs, it something you get,
a vision, when you're wearing the suit.
You flash into the future or sometimes into the past.
All objects have vibes on 'em or in 'em or something.
And the suit picks 'em up.
- Wow.
Really, like any objects?
- Well, that's hard to say.
- 'Cause, Bill, all I did,
I reached in and picked up this letter--
- Let's not worry about that, kiddo.
Let's take this stuff one step at a time,
we won't get phased by it.
Take it slow, take it easy.
- Right.
Yeah, there's a whole lot more to the suit than I realized.
- You haven't seen anything yet.
The suit's always coming up with something new.
Hey, where'd you go!
- (laughs) Gotcha!
- That is an old one.
(engine puttering)
I taught her what I could about the suit.
She did okay, actually.
But you know, finally, gets to the big D-Day, Omaha Beach,
and we gotta figure out, Miss Muffet and me,
how we're really gonna work together.
(brakes squealing)
(slow jazzy music)
(upbeat music)
Anything's?
- Yes?
- I'm looking for Holly Hathaway.
- She's in back, feeding Roosevelt and Churchill.
But you can come on in and wait.
- Oh, okay.
(door thudding)
Who's?
Oh, never mind.
- You must be Mr. Maxwell.
My name is Sarah.
I live here.
Can I get you something to drink.
- Well, a stiff scotch wouldn't be bad. (laughs)
- We don't encourage alcohol in our home, Mr. Maxwell.
If you need scotch to help you through a situation,
then you may have the beginnings
of a serious social problem.
- How old are you?
- [Sarah] Almost seven.
How 'bout you?
- None of your business.
- You look about 50.
You ever have a facelift?
- No, I never have, how 'bout you?
- I'm too young.
- Oh.
- Do you touch up your hair yourself or have it done?
- I bet you've got some chores
to do somewhere, or something, don't ya?
- Are you trying to get rid of me?
- Yeah.
- You're sort of an uptight kind of guy,
aren't you, Mr. Maxwell?
- I'm not applying for a job here, kiddo.
I can do without the interview, okay?
- I'm just trying to get to know you.
You oughta hear the questions I ask the guys Holly dates.
(door creaking)
- Bill, hi, I'm glad you could come over.
- [Bill] Oh.
- I see you've met Sarah.
- Yeah.
- I'll leave you two alone.
He needs some work, but I think he'll be okay.
- She's, uh, really something else, isn't she?
- Oh, yeah. (laughs)
I didn't know that you had any kids.
- Oh, well, Sarah's, she's not really mine.
I'm her foster parent.
- Oh.
- It's hard to believe that someone would just throw
a child like her out, isn't it?
- Yeah, got me stumped.
So, Hathaway what is going on.
What's so important I gotta come charging over here
in the middle of a working day, huh?
- I've got us our first assignment, Bill.
Our first mission!
I was making a turnip shake.
You think you're gonna want one?
- A turnip, what?
Wait a minute, you don't call the sh*ts, I do.
I pick the scenarios, that's the nature of command decision,
that's what I do, see. (laughs)
- [Holly] Have you been reading about this?
- What?
The Sunset Lady tragedy, the answers lie beneath the waves.
What is this junk?
Is this one of those save the whales freaks.
So what, who cares?
- Something mysterious is happening
off the coast of Newfoundland, Bill.
- Not as mysterious as what is happening in this kitchen.
That is revolting.
Are you actually gonna?
Okay, Ralph maybe didn't explain this thing to you
just exactly the way it's supposed to go down.
Let me have a-- (blender whirring)
- The Sunset Lady was sunk for a reason.
Somebody is trying to cover something up.
Something worse than illegal whaling is going on up there.
- No kidding, worse than illegal whaling.
Gee, that's hard to imagine.
- I figure with my semester break coming up next week,
that this would be the perfect time for me
to take some time off and check this whole thing out.
I could take Sarah with me and everything.
Are you sure that you don't want a shake, Bill?
I really think
that you could probably use a lot of vitamins.
- Hathaway, this ain't a game we're playing, here.
Look, look at this.
You're so hot on the news of the day.
Look at that.
We have got t*rrorists here blowing up innocent people.
We got domestic fellas wreaking havoc upon society.
We've got crime, kid, right in the backyard.
It's coming out the wazoo.
The big red menace hanging over us,
sword of Damocles, you want to go skin diving.
I don't want a yucky milkshake, I want a partner with sense.
- You don't have to go if you don't want to.
I got the suit, I can go by myself.
- You wouldn't.
- Well, I don't want to.
But I just thought that we were gonna be partners.
I thought we were gonna be a team.
- Well, we are.
That's right, well, we are gonna be a team,
see, that's what--
- Well, okay, that sounds like fun to me.
- Fun?
It is not supposed to be fun!
- [Holly] Why not?
- Because!
- Why can't it be fun?
We're supposed to make this planet a better place to live.
That sounds like fun to me.
- You always like this?
- Pretty much.
That's what you're gonna really appreciate about me, Bill.
I'm never in a bad mood.
(Bill gulping)
- So off we go to Newfoundland
to make friends with the whales
and a bunch of little fishies.
♪ All alone
♪ In the danger zone
♪ Better keep your head
♪ Or else you're dead
♪ You're on your own
♪ You got the power
♪ You got the power
♪ You got the power
(people chattering)
(upbeat music)
- Hey, Bob, how'd you get to be a fat, old man, huh?
(blow thudding)
- [Bill] Oh, boy.
- What?
(bright music)
What is it, what?
- Are you blind?
Textbook calls it a militant aggression center
with a bad contingency profile.
- What, I don't get it.
- Bar full of g*ons with one door.
- [Man] Throw this bum out!
(door thudding) (people chattering)
- Look, Hathaway, let me do the talking.
You gotta slide into the situation
like this very, very, gently.
Otherwise you wind up chasing your hat down the street.
Hey, pal, what's on draft?
- Whatever comes out of the little holes
in the faucet, chief.
- Two please.
- My fried and me are looking for a whaling captain
with his own boat, maybe take us out
on a little photo expedition.
- Yeah, well, it's just that we're really upset
about all these whales
that are getting slaughtered, well, m*rder*d.
We want to find out who's doing it
and just have them arrested.
- Ah, that may be a tad direct.
- Listen, you, we got our own economy.
We don't need do-gooders-- - Hi!
- [Bartender] To come in and tell us how to make a living.
- Okay, welcome to trouble with Maxwell.
Failure to answer the question gets you
an all-expense paid vacation at the fed pen of your choice,
courtesy of that super power to the south.
- FBI.
- FBI.
- The FBI and we're not fooling around.
Whales are dying and we're gonna find out who's doing what--
- [Bill] Holly, please, put a sock in it.
- Bill, they are all in this conspiracy together.
They're k*lling animals that have higher life forms.
Did you know that the average IQ of a dolphin may
in fact be equal to that of a human being?
(knife clicking)
- You want to play OK Corral, meet Doc Holiday.
Now take a hike.
I'm waiting, stumpy.
- What people, what do you want?
- The name of somebody who knows
about the Sunset Lady expl*si*n.
- Listen, I don't want no trouble.
- No.
- Now those guys back there are whalers.
Ask one of them.
- Thanks.
- Thank you very much.
I think we did great.
- We did horrible.
Hathaway, when I give you a direct command
in a field situation, it's gotta get obeyed,
no ups, no extras.
- Bill, what are you talking about?
We got the information, we're a great team.
- What we did was we sensitized the only escape corridor
and devalued our primary classification.
- Would you please speak English?
- We blew our cover.
And we made the gorillas at the bar mad, okay?
- Bill, there's more than one way
to get information in this place.
- Yeah?
- Look around.
I'm the only girl.
- I'm painfully aware of that fact.
Get out of here!
- Sometimes being a woman works better
than flashing a badge.
- Hathaway!
(flame whooshing)
- Can I have winners?
What I mean is, I love to arm wrestle.
I was ladies runner-up at Pantalooma last year
in 115 and under.
(men laughing)
- You snuck the jammies on under there
when I wasn't lookin'?
Say it's true.
- Don't worry, Bill.
I beat my brothers all the time.
- I have very strong tendons.
- I can see that.
But we do this for money.
- Oh, well, I don't mind bettin'.
I'll bet you everything that he's got in his wallet.
$1,500. - Hathaway!
- Along with the pink slip to his car
and I'll even throw in his gold watch,
which I might add is worth quite a lot.
- Wait a second.
This watch was given to me by General Silas Cooberman.
You're ruining this scenario.
You got the suit on or not?
- All I got is 500 here, sweetness.
- I don't want to wrestle for money.
(men hooting)
- What did you have in mind, sweet baby?
- You quit this.
- I'll wrestle you for the answer to one question.
If I win, you've got to give me the answer
to whatever I ask.
- You're on, grab a seat.
- Don't worry, Bill, I can handle it.
- Yeah, but have you got?
(men hooting)
- Oh yeah! - Oh.
- Here we go, it's easy money.
(men hooting)
- Just, get get this foot out of here.
You're hooking his foot here.
Bud, get this hand up on the table.
- Get him out of here.
(men cheering) (men hooting)
- [Man] Go ahead!
You've got it!
Go ahead, you got it!
- My Cooberman watch.
- [Man] Go ahead, go ahead.
- Car.
- [Man] Go ahead, go!
- 1,500 bucks!
(men cheering)
She doesn't have the jammies.
- Oh go ahead, busted.
(fabric tearing)
(table thudding)
(man yelling)
(light clattering)
- Pantalooma runner up,
you should have seen the dame that beat her.
- My question is, who blew up the Sunset Lady and why?
- Again, kid, maybe that's just a tad too direct.
Better we ask him in private instead of
in front of this chorus of mouth breathers.
- Get 'em out of here!
(dramatic music)
(Bill groaning)
(blows thudding) (Bill groaning)
(man groaning)
(metal creaking) (dramatic music)
(w*apon whooshing)
(kick thudding)
(body thudding)
(moose thudding)
(blows thudding) (Bill groaning)
(blows whooshing)
(body thudding)
(blows thudding) (Bill groaning)
(body thudding)
(upbeat music)
(body whooshing)
(blows thudding)
(fabric ripping)
- Depressing, ain't it.
Now, if I was you, I'd come clean before she gets mad.
- [Captain] Okay, okay, you got it.
(triumphant music)
- Well, I guess I gotta admit
that the kid did pull us out of the soup on that one.
On the other hand, I believe I mentioned about 100 times
it was a class z-grade scenario to start with.
But as a first case run up the flagpole,
I guess we didn't do too bad.
(gentle music)
The trouble with this job is,
not doing too bad ain't good enough.
This job takes 110% of everything you've got,
every day, 25 hours a day.
- You're telling me the suit makes you fly?
- [Holly] Pretty wild, huh?
- [Sarah] To say the least.
- It also lets me do other things,
like have visions and disappear.
And it also makes me real strong.
- I see.
Doesn't sound like it's made of synthetics.
- (laughs) No.
I guess it's kind of made of magic.
- So if I put it on, I could fly too?
- Probably not.
You see, Sarah, this suit, it only works when it's on me.
And the reason why I have it is,
well, I've sort of been chosen to use the suit
to fix things that are wrong.
And the reason why I'm telling you this
is because you're the most important thing to me
in my life right now.
And I don't want you to ever think
that anything would come between us.
Not even a magical suit.
And I also want you to help me and Bill out,
because I know how good you are at it.
- So I'd be like a partner too?
- That's right, we'd be a team.
And the most important thing that you could do
as our special little partner is to promise me
that you would never, ever tell anybody about this.
- Oh, sure, no problem.
I love secrets.
- That's great.
I knew I could count on ya.
But I also want Bill to be proud of us too.
Now, I know sometimes he comes across
as being mean and grumpy and pushy.
But deep down inside, he means well.
He's a good man.
I may have the suit, Sarah,
but Bill's gonna make the difference.
- Like I always said, we're gonna make a terrific team.
End report.
(upbeat music)
(bright music)
(dramatic music)
(bright music)
03x14 - The Greatest American Heroine
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Ralph Hinkley is a Los Angeles teacher of remedial education high school students who encounters extraterrestrials that give him a suit which endows him with superhuman abilities.
Ralph Hinkley is a Los Angeles teacher of remedial education high school students who encounters extraterrestrials that give him a suit which endows him with superhuman abilities.