PART TWO (THE MYSTERIOUS PLANET)
Written by Robert Holmes
Original air date: 13th September, 1986
Run time: 24:44
Trial room
The Doctor: Oh! Why'd you stop it at the best bit? I was rather enjoying that.
Valeyard: I'm sure you were.
The Doctor: Clever, eh? That trick with the umbrella.
Valeyard: Most ingenious, my dear Doctor.
The Doctor: Oh, I always like to do the unexpected. Takes people by surprise.
Valeyard: Hear how the Doctor takes pride in his interference. Hear how he boasts. This is not the reaction of a responsible Time Lord.
Inquisitor: We are all aware of that, Valeyard. What is the point you are trying to make?
Valeyard: These proceedings started as a mere enquiry into the Doctor's activities. I'm suggesting now that it becomes a trial. And if he is found guilty, I strongly suggest the termination of his life!
The Doctor: So, you want me dead, eh?
Inquisitor: What the Valeyard wants and what the court decides, are two entirely different things, Doctor.
The Doctor: Thank you, my lady.
Inquisitor: Proceed Valeyard.
Marb station
Balazar: Train guards!
Computer: This station is a work unit over committed strength. There must be a cull.
Balazar: It has been dealt with.
Merdeen: See that he is dead, Grell. Where is he from?
Balazar: I don't know. He told many lies, even that he had read our sacred books.
Grell: He still breathes.
Merdeen: Then k*ll him.
Drathro's castle
Drathro: Stop!
Marb station
Merdeen: Wait, the Immortal speaks. He now wishes to question the stranger. How near death is he?
Grell: Merely stunned.
Merdeen: Pick him up. Grell, patrol.
Grell: Why not transport him on the train?
Merdeen: I said patrol. You, come with me.
Balazar: I, sir?
Merdeen: You have spoken with the stranger. If he dies, the Immortal may wish to question you about him.
Katryca's hut
Peri: Oh!
Katryca: Welcome, girl.
Peri: Hi.
Katryca: Rise. You are not from the place of the underground. Where are you from?
Peri: Well, it's kind of difficult to explain.
Katryca: My name is Katryca, I am the leader of the Free. Do you have a name, girl?
Peri: Perpugilliam Brown, but my friends call me Peri.
Katryca: Peri. Not many girls join the Free, Peri. I shall provide some excellent husbands for you.
Peri: Husbands? Plural?
Katryca: Such women as we have must be shared. Think about it. Put her with the other prisoners. Keep them guarded.
Peri: All right, all right. I can walk.
Subway
Balazar: Tell me, Merdeen, you served the Immortal. Is he as men say?
Merdeen: What do men say?
Balazar: That he is taller than two, with arms of steel.
Merdeen: The Immortal is never seen. He stays in his castle.
Balazar: Then how does he give you his commands?
Merdeen: He talks to me through the air and he watches me with boxes.
Balazar: I think this is called a camera, Merdeen. The men of ancient times used such things to make pictures of the Canadian goose.
Merdeen: How do you know that, Balazar?
Balazar: It is my task to study the ancient texts.
The Doctor: About which you continually boast. That's the trouble with pallid little swats like you, Balazar, You can't even organise an efficient stoning.
Balazar: It was only half over.
The Doctor: Oh.
Balazar: You'd have been free of your troubles now if Merdeen and his train guards had not saved you.
The Doctor: Then I'm grateful to you, Merdeen.
Merdeen: It was on the orders of the Immortal.
The Doctor: Oh. Well, please convey my thanks to him. Is that water? Could I have some?
Merdeen: It's my ration for the next two days.
Drathro's castle
Drathro: Give it to him.
Merdeen (on screen): What?
Drathro: Give it to him.
Merdeen: Oh. Yes, of course.
The Doctor: No, of course not. I'd forgotten how important that stuff was down here.
The Doctor: Mono-optic system, eh? Very interesting. And is the, er, Immortal on the other end of that?
Tandrell: Extremely ugly.
Humker: Hideous in the extreme.
Drathro: Physiognomy is irrelevant.
Tandrell: In so far as...
Humker: Appearance has no function.
Tandrell: But function has an appearance.
Humker: Which is irrelevant to the function.
Tandrell: Perfect.
Humker: I must write that down.
Tandrell: I will make an equation of it.
Drathro: Cease your prattle.
Humker: Of course, sir.
Tandrell: At once, sir.
Drathro: Activate the service robot. Now!
Hut
Glitz: Ah, it seems we have a pretty visitor. I'm beginning to feel better already. Sabalom Glitz, my dear, and this youth with the vacuous expression and single track mind is Dibber.
Peri: Peri.
Glitz: Ah.
Peri: Well, obviously you're not from round here.
Glitz: Merely visiting, like good yourself.
Peri: Well, I hope my visit's very short. That doesn't look like it's from round here either.
Glitz: It's a light converter.
Peri: A what?
Dibber: It funnels black light energy down to the L3. That's why we have to knock it out.
Glitz: Dibber! I'm sure Peri isn't interested in professional matters.
Dibber: Oh, you're right, Mister Glitz, yeah.
Glitz: When we first saw you, Peri, you were not alone.
Dibber: That's right, you were with a dilly in a long coat. But he disappeared down the tunnel before we...
Glitz: Before we could leap forward and make your acquaintance, eh, Dibber?
Dibber: Yeah, that's it.
Glitz: Where is your friend now?
Peri: The Doctor? Oh, he's probably still down there. For a Time Lord, he's not very good at keeping time.
Glitz: The Doctor is a Time Lord? So that's how he knew where to go.
Peri: What do you mean?
Dibber: Sent him, did they?
Peri: Who?
Glitz: The Time Lords, my dear. As my friend says, he must be acting on their behalf.
Peri: I don't think the Doctor's acting on anyone's behalf.
Glitz: So, he's a freelance like myself. Possibly we can reach an accommodation here, my boy. Two rogues with but a single thought.
Subway
The Doctor: And how long has the Immortal lived in his so-called, castle?
Merdeen: Since the fire.
The Doctor: Oh, five hundred years?
Balazar: I do not know, Doctor. He was sent to save our lives many centuries ago.
The Doctor: Hmm. And he never goes out and nobody ever comes in?
Balazar: Only the young men who pass the selection.
The Doctor: What selection?
Balazar: To find the two cleverest youths. They go to the castle.
The Doctor: Why?
Balazar: It is said the Immortal eats them.
The Doctor: Never believe what is said, Balazar, only what you know.
Drathro's castle
Humker: Why are we doing this?
Tandrell: Because sir ordered it.
Humker: Yes, but...
Drathro: It may be needed.
Hut
Dibber: These bars remind me of home. I reckon I could bite me way through them.
Glitz: Relax Dibber. I'll find a way to win the confidence of these simple peasants.
Peri: Well, I'll like to get out of here. Katryca said something about choosing husbands for me.
Glitz: There you are. Obviously she's a romantic at heart.
Peri: Well, so am I, but not romantic enough to want more that one husband.
Dibber: Where we come from, a woman can have as many as six.
Peri: Oh, it's very similar on my planet, except we usually have them one at a time.
Glitz: I should like to stand in paterfamilias for your absent father and give you away, my dear, but I always cry at these moments of deep sentiment.
Dibber: I think we should help her get out.
Glitz: No, no, dear boy. We may need these brutish primitives.
Peri: What for?
Glitz: This shows a layout of the tunnel system, all hermetically sealed. If we can persuade Katryca's people to drive a shaft into the centre, we can fill them with gas.
Peri: You'd k*ll them? The people Katryca calls underground dwellers? That would be mass m*rder.
Glitz: I'm sure my conscience will prick a little, but where money is concerned, that doesn't usually last long.
Peri: Oh, you can't do it.
Glitz: I think it will be pretty simple. Don't forget, this is a high risk business venture, Peri. The people down there take the risk, I take the profit.
Dibber: That still leaves the L3.
Glitz: And what chance would the robot will have without a labour force? It'll probably be quicker than trying to destroy its black light supply.
Broken Tooth: Come with me.
Subway
Merdeen: You enter here, Doctor.
The Doctor: Ah. No need to knock, I imagine.
Balazar: Will I be needed?
Merdeen: No.
The Doctor: Lucky old you.
Merdeen: When you are in the Immortal's presence you will cast your eyes to the ground.
The Doctor: Will I?
Merdeen: It is forbidden to look upon him.
The Doctor: On pain of being turned into a pillar of salt, I imagine. That sort of thing?
Merdeen: You will not find it wise to mock the Immortal. Doubtless your body will be returned to me before this day is out.
The Doctor: Oh, Merdeen, why don't you just push off and guard some trains, eh?
Katryca's hut
Glitz: Ah, dear lady. I knew once you'd had time to consider...
Katryca: Be silent, fat one. I have studied the fires and there is anger in them.
Peri: Anger?
Katryca: You have travelled from beyond the stars. Your intention, to steal our great totem. Only a sacrifice in the flames will propitiate the gods.
Dibber: All of us?
Katryca: No. Only you are the chosen one, Sabalom Glitz.
Glitz: Me? Are you insane? I'm wanted in six different galaxies for crimes you couldn't even imagine. Do you think an old hag like you can bring me down?
Katryca: The pyre is being built. You will be brought when your time is due.
Outside Drathro's castle
The Doctor: Er, this is my best side.
Drathro's castle
Humker: The arrogance.
Tandrell: Can't wait to see how he's been programmed.
Drathro: I have been waiting for this day. Welcome at last.
The Doctor: You were expecting me?
Drathro: For centuries. I am Drathro, an L3 robot.
The Doctor: Then I fear you are under a slight misapprehension, Drathro. I only decided to come here yesterday.
Drathro: You are not from Andromeda? Then where are you from?
The Doctor: Gallifrey, originally, though I travel round a lot.
Drathro: I have heard of Gallifrey. An advanced civilisation.
The Doctor: In some ways.
Drathro: I apologize for my error.
The Doctor: Oh, that's all right. Even Immortals make the odd mistake every few millennia.
Drathro: I am not immortal.
The Doctor: Oh. Well, the locals round here seem to think you are.
Drathro: These are my assistants, Tandrell and Humker. You will work with them.
The Doctor: Will I? Why?
Drathro: Because I command it.
The Doctor: Oh. And you are obviously a robot used to getting your own way.
Humker: This is remarkable, Drathro.
Tandrell: Most impressive.
Humker: Even the texture has an organic warmth.
The Doctor: Do stop prodding me, there's a good fellow.
Drathro: The Doctor is not a robot. He is an organic from an advanced civilisation.
Tandrell: An organic?
Humker: We've not met an organic since we passed the selection.
The Doctor: Ah. I knew you two hadn't ended up for lunch.
Tandrell: Explain.
The Doctor: Never mind. What is this work you want me to do?
Trial room
Inquisitor: Is this relevant testimony, Valeyard? We seem to be straying from the point.
Valeyard: Circumstantially germane, my lady, in that it is part of the prosecution's case is that the Doctor introduces a disruptive and corrupting influence wherever he goes.
The Doctor: Sheer poppycock.
Valeyard: If the Doctor had not visited Ravalox, then the whole chain of events we are witnessing would not have been set in motion.
The Doctor: Well, how can the Boatyard make that claim? What might or might not have happened is entirely speculative.
Inquisitor: That is for me to decide, Doctor. And may I remind you, the charge you face is grave indeed.
The Doctor: Oh, I only have to look at the Graveyard to see that, ma'am.
Inquisitor: You're puerile attempts at flippancy are not appreciated in this court, Doctor. Proceed, Valeyard.
Drathro's castle
Drathro: Have you found the fault yet?
The Doctor: Hmm? Give me a chance. I've only just started.
Drathro: The black light system is indicating incipient failure.
The Doctor: Yeah, I can see that, but they don't last forever, you know.
Drathro: I am trained only in installation and maintenance.
The Doctor: Hmm? Oh, yeah, and very useful too. That's where the money is.
Drathro: I have trained these humans to study the problem, but they make no progress.
The Doctor: Well, black light is very tricky stuff, Drathro.
Drathro: I have a learning capacity but my processors of ratiocination are logical. Organics often eliminate such steps.
The Doctor: It's called intuition.
Drathro: Your first task will be to restructure the system.
The Doctor: Well, just a minute. Black light is not my field.
Drathro: Then you will make it so, or die!
Trial room
The Doctor: I protest!
Inquisitor: What now?
The Doctor: Yes, now!
Inquisitor: I meant, what are you protesting about this time?
The Doctor: I am charged with interfering, yet it's blatantly obvious to a blind speelsnape that I am working under duress.
Inquisitor: That does seem a valid point. What is the relevance of your presentation?
Valeyard: If the accused hadn't interrupted, my lady, the point I wish to make would have become obvious.
The Doctor: Oh, then I apologise for my outburst. As your ladyship is aware, I am unfamiliar, unlike the Valeyard, with court procedure.
Inquisitor: The court accepts your apology, Doctor. Proceed.
Village
Dibber: What a terrible waste.
Glitz: You're telling me.
Dibber: No, I meant the wood. Now, if I was handling this execution I'd go to a b*llet in the back of the head. Much more economical.
Peri: He has a point.
Glitz: Of all the sniveling screeves to be stuck with in my moment of need, I have to get you two.
Dibber: I know. Depressing, isn't it.
Drathro's castle
The Doctor: Oh, I'm sorry, Drathro. There's not a lot I can do down here.
Drathro: I order you to work.
The Doctor: Well, you can play at being the sl*ve driver all you like, but the fault doesn't lie down here. There must be a collection aerial out on the surface which is malfunctioning. I'll, I'll just pop up and have a look at it.
Drathro: You will remain here and proceed with your appointed task.
The Doctor: I think you must have fluff in your audio circuit. What's all this stuff for, anyway?
Tandrell: It provides Drathro with his energy source.
Humker: It was also to maintain the three Sleepers until they could be returned to Andromeda.
The Doctor: The three Sleepers?
Drathro: They are dead now. The relief ships failed to arrive.
The Doctor: I see. Well, if this power failure's allowed to get any worse, we'll all be dead soon.
Humker: Why?
The Doctor: Because there will be an enormous expl*si*n. Now I can't impress upon you how urgent it is I go up and look at that converter's aerial.
Drathro: A transparent ruse to escape. Get on with the work.
The Doctor: Oh, how do you put up with him.
The Doctor: Thank you. Tell me, why is water so important down here?
Humker: The condensation plants produce only enough for five hundred work units.
The Doctor: But it was raining buckets outside, or it was when I arrived.
Drathro: I am aware that precipitation has returned to normal.
The Doctor: Then why don't you let everyone just pop up and help themselves?
Drathro: My instructions were to maintain an underground survival system.
The Doctor: Inflexible little fellow aren't you? Here, hold that.
The Doctor: Well, come on. Aren't you supposed to be programmed to be user friendly or something? Times like this one need three hands you know. We bipeds are a very inefficient design. You, Humbug, whatever your name is, hold that.
The Doctor: And you, Handbag, finger on the end there. That's it, yes. Well done, splendid, yes. Well, that should just about do it.
Outside Central control
The Doctor: Ah. Look!
Drathro: Follow him. Use your tracer disc. He must be brought back unharmed.
Village
Glitz: Ready?
Glitz: Well done Dibber. Take this. Always keep something up your sleeve, eh, Dibber?
Glitz: I want you to conceal yourself in some muddy crevice while Peri and I lead off the hunt.
Peri: What hunt?
Glitz: Oh, there'll be one soon. As soon as you get the chance I want you to blow that light converter to bits.
Dibber: And where do we meet up?
Glitz: The entrance to the tunnel. Come on, Peri.
Katryca's hut
Broken Tooth: Majesty!
Katryca: How dare you!
Broken Tooth: Forgive me, but the prisoners have escaped.
Katryca: Take this.
Katryca: Lead the young men on a hunting party. They must not escape!
Subway
Drathro (O.C.): The Doctor has absconded. Hw must be found.
Merdeen: Yes, Immortal.
Drathro's castle
Humker: He should be k*lled.
Tandrell: Very slowly. He hurt me. I hate being hurt.
Humker: He hurt me more.
Tandrell: A subjective judgement.
Drathro: He must not be k*lled. I still need him.
Marb station
Merdeen: Search area green. Area red.
Merdeen: Quiet.
Balazar: Should we not search for the Doctor?
Merdeen: I said quiet. Listen to me carefully. You are a clever man.
Balazar: I am the Reader.
Merdeen: People like you are needed on the surface. I will direct you there.
Balazar: The surface? But nothing lives there. The fire...
Merdeen: I said listen. There is no fire. There has been no fire for hundreds of years. It is the only place you will be beyond the Immortal's reach. Do you understand me?
Balazar: Well, what shall I do, Merdeen? How will I live?
Merdeen: You will find others out there. Many I have saved from the Immortal.
Balazar: If the Immortal discovers this, you will die. Why do you risk your life, Merdeen?
Merdeen: I am sick of the cullings. But I have to be careful. I think Grell already suspects.
Balazar: But what will you do?
Merdeen: Find the Doctor and send him to you.
Ravalox
Peri: Come on!
Drathro's castle
Drathro: What is happening.?
Ravalox
Broken Tooth: This way.
Subway
The Doctor: Whoops!
Merdeen: Wait, Doctor. We mean you no harm.
The Doctor: You did the last time we met.
Balazar: Things have changed.
The Doctor: Then let me pass. I have to get out of here.
Merdeen: Take Balazar with you.
The Doctor: Er, yes, all right.
Balazar: What will you do?
Merdeen: I must stay and help others.
The Doctor: I should be careful if I was you. There's a robot following me who isn't in a very friendly mood.
Merdeen: Would you help us, Doctor, to crush the Immortal's power?
The Doctor: Er, yes, er, perhaps. But there's something I've got to do much more important first. Come along, Balazar.
Trial room
Valeyard: Stop! This is another prime example of the Doctor's interference. You will note that he was in a position to free himself of the situation, yet deliberately chose not to.
The Doctor: I was trying to help. Surely even a blockhead like you can see that.
Inquisitor: I think we should reserve judgement until the end of the sequence.
The Doctor: I agree, my lady.
Tunnel entrance
Balazar: It's beautiful!
The Doctor: Hmm? Oh. Oh, I knew she wouldn't still be here. That girl can't obey an order.
Peri: Doctor!
Balazar: Who are they?
The Doctor: Peri! Hurry!
The Doctor: Back inside, quick.
The Doctor: In you go.
The Doctor: Come on!
Tunnel
Glitz: I always knew exercise was bad for you.
The Doctor: I shouldn't lie there if I was you. Not unless you want to be k*lled with a spear in your back.
Glitz: What? Did you do the job, my boy?
Dibber: Of course.
Underground station
The Doctor: We've got to get out of here!
Peri: But how?
The Doctor: This way.
The Doctor: Oh, no. Back.
Peri: Well, now what?
The Doctor: I don't know. I really think this could be the end!
`
The Doctor
COLIN BAKER
Peri
NICOLA BRYANT
The Valeyard
MICHAEL JAYSTON
The Inquisitor
LYNDA BELLINGHAM
Katryca
JOAN SIMS
Glitz
TONY SELBY
Dibber
GLEN MURPHY
Merdeen
TOM CHADBON
Drathro
ROGER BRIERLEY
Broken Tooth
DAVID RODIGAN
Balazar
ADAM BLACKWOOD
Grell
TIMOTHY WALKER
Humker
BILLY MCCOLL
Tandrell
SION TUDOR OWEN
Assistant Floor Manager
STEPHEN JEFFREY-POULTER
SALLY NEWMAN
Costumes
KEN TREW
Designer
JOHN ANDERSON
Incidental Music
DOMINIC GLYNN
Make-Up
DENISE BARON
Producer
JOHN NATHAN-TURNER
Production Assistant
JOY SINCLAIR
Production Associate
ANGELA SMITH
Script Editor
ERIC SAWARD
Special Sounds
d*ck MILLS
Studio Lighting
MIKE JEFFERIES
Studio Sound
BRIAN CLARK
Theme Arrangement
DOMINIC GLYNN
Title Music
RON GRAINER
Visual Effects
MIKE KELT
COLIN BAKER
Peri
NICOLA BRYANT
The Valeyard
MICHAEL JAYSTON
The Inquisitor
LYNDA BELLINGHAM
Katryca
JOAN SIMS
Glitz
TONY SELBY
Dibber
GLEN MURPHY
Merdeen
TOM CHADBON
Drathro
ROGER BRIERLEY
Broken Tooth
DAVID RODIGAN
Balazar
ADAM BLACKWOOD
Grell
TIMOTHY WALKER
Humker
BILLY MCCOLL
Tandrell
SION TUDOR OWEN
Assistant Floor Manager
STEPHEN JEFFREY-POULTER
SALLY NEWMAN
Costumes
KEN TREW
Designer
JOHN ANDERSON
Incidental Music
DOMINIC GLYNN
Make-Up
DENISE BARON
Producer
JOHN NATHAN-TURNER
Production Assistant
JOY SINCLAIR
Production Associate
ANGELA SMITH
Script Editor
ERIC SAWARD
Special Sounds
d*ck MILLS
Studio Lighting
MIKE JEFFERIES
Studio Sound
BRIAN CLARK
Theme Arrangement
DOMINIC GLYNN
Title Music
RON GRAINER
Visual Effects
MIKE KELT