03x09 - What's Your Name?

[bunniefuu]

They both d*ed because of me.

If that were true...

If I really believed it...
it would be crushing.

But...

Too late.

It's too late.

Akito. But why?

It's over. The end is here.

I'm disappointed in you.

But worse in that moment...

...were his eyes.

Half-hidden behind
his coppery hair,

they were screaming so loudly:
"I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad."

That was the most
crushing thing of all.

It made my heart ache.
Even more than thoughts of mom.

It's over. So what now?

Will you throw me away?
Abandon me?

Will you move
on... and leave me behind?

I know how it
feels to be left behind.

Shigure!

Oh, what's this? I'm not
the only one out and about?

Hardly. Listen, have
you seen--? You reek!

I had a drink or two.
Date with my author buddies.

Hold on. You were out
drinking all night?

Only until the first
morning train.

You are technically
our guardian, you know.

Try acting like it sometime.

No, I don't have time
for this creep.

Harsh.

Did you pass the idiot on
your way? The great big idiot?

Idiot? Oh, I see. You mean Kyo.

No, I didn't.

He must've gone
the other direction.

What's up? Has Kyo been
causing trouble again?

I don't know the
details, but yeah.

That colossal idiot.

How dare he make her cry!

Are you happy?

You won, you know.

You supplanted me,
stole my place.

Now I'm the outsider,
the outcast.

Because they all like you best.

Does that feel good?

The loneliness
of being abandoned.

You showed up and
destroyed everything.

I'm alone. A mistake.
The bad guy.

Does that feel good? I hate you.

Oh.

Finally. I see you.

You came and wrecked it.
My whole world.

Yet somehow, you still get
to be the "pure" one.

You're the dirtiest
one of us all!

Akito. I finally found you.

No, don't.

Stay back! You make me sick!

I've been so thoughtless.

How could I have
not realized it?

Akito!

Get back!

All this time...

...you've been so lonely,
but you couldn't let anyone see.

From the beginning,

ever since she was born,
she was treated as "special."

As somebody who's above the
circle instead of part of it.

But... that's just a different
form of abandonment.

I understand now.

Why you talk so much
about eternity

and an unchanging future.

You say those things
because... you're scared.

You're terrified of being alone!

Shut up!

You know nothing! Nothing!

You condescending brat.

I told you, I don't want
your false sympathy!

You won't win me over. Never.

Never!

I am dirty. It's true.

You were right about me, Akito.

Because, even as I
rejected your eternity,

I was wishing for
the same things.

For forever.

Unchanging feelings.

Bonds.

I was, but...

Mom, the truth is...

...I've fallen in
love with someone.

It took me so long to admit it,

and now he's saying
he's disappointed in me.

But I love him.

Even if he doesn't love me back,

I've decided not to
stand still anymore.

It's time. I'm going
on ahead, Mom.

People can't be bound forever.

Neither can their feelings.

I think, deep down,

you've already realized
that, haven't you?

And for all this
time, it's hurt,

knowing that painful truth.

You've been sad, miserable,
and so very lonely.

No!

I don't want this!

I don't wanna be
abandoned, left behind!

--Why is this happening?
--Akito--

No! I'm scared.
I don't want this!

I was promised so much more!

This world,
where no one needs me,

where everyone's a stranger,
I don't want it.

Not this.

Please, wait!

No, I'm done!

It's too late. Don't
you understand that?

This world is unrecognizable.

There are no promises or bonds,

no hope of eternity,
and I'm scared.

I can't live surrounded
by strangers.

Alone, without any guarantee
that I'll be loved.

I can't.

The world scares me.

Well, in that case,
what if you begin again with me?

Here. Now.

We met the wrong way.
Let's start over.

I'll go first.

Hello. My name is Tohru Honda.

Tell me, what's your name?

Maybe we could be friends.
I'd like that.

Liar! You don't mean it.

The second I cry, you'll
decide you've had enough.

If I complain, you'll get mad.

You'll stop liking me and
throw me out of your life.

There you are.

I finally found you.

Tell me, what's your name?

Maybe we could be
friends. I'd like that.

Please... don't cry anymore.

Oh, no.

Someone, help!

Someone! Anyone! Come quickly!

Help!

Akito, please... don't cry.

It's all right.
Everything's all right.

The scary times are over.
You made it.

Whoa. I wasn't
expecting to see you here.

Please. Help her.

Hurry. She's hurt.

She needs help.

She fell... from...
from up on the cliff.

So far down. So far...

What do I do?
She's not moving.

She's so... so still.

Akito, slowly now.
Calm as you can.

Who fell? Tell me.

Toh... Tohru.

Okay. Where was she?

That way. Straight back.

Shigure, I'm calling for help.
Meet them when they get here.

What do we do? She won't move.
Shigure! What do we do?

Akito, did you push her?

No. I didn't.

I didn't! Really.
I don't know why.

The ground... it just
crumbled, out of nowhere.

But I... I did hurt Kureno.

I stabbed him.

Hatori. It's me.

Uh-huh. What's going on
at the main estate?

Akito is actually at my place.

Yes. Here.

I heard. How is he?

I see.

Well, we've got an emergency
on our hands, too.

No, Akito is fine. It's Tohru.

Yeah. It seems she
fell off a cliff.

Right.

Okay. I'll call back
when I know more.

Good news.
He says Kureno will live.

Tohru.

Don't move her.

Her head, she probably
hit it hard.

Wait. This can't be happening.

It's wrong. It's... all wrong.

This isn't what I wanted.

You can't go. Stay with me.

Tohru.

Don't cry.
Please... don't cry anymore.

Wait... who's crying?

Akito? Kyo?

Oh, right. I have
to go after Kyo.

I have to find him.

And when I do, I'll tell him,
"I love you so much."

Every day, I feel
grateful we met.

Maybe all it brought you
was frustration and pain,

but the time we've had together
has made me so happy.

Your awkward kindness.
Your blushes.

Your smile. Your shy looks.

They all made me so, so happy.

And little by little, over time,
they became precious.

My treasures.

I realize now,

that day in the rain,
I chased you so desperately

because I was already
in love with you.

And that love made the thought
of losing you unbearable.

Being near me hurt you.
My feelings hurt you.

I know that...
but it will be okay.

So please, don't cry anymore.

Everything ends eventually.
Happy times. Fun times.

But scary and sad times, too.

They will pass. Always.

Even if you can't
believe it right now,

please, keep living.

Don't give up.
I want you to live.

It's all right if
you make mistakes,

or take the long way around.

But please... please live.

Whatever happens,
don't stop moving forward.

Keep walking. One foot
in front of the other.

Even if I'm not by your
side... keep walking.

It's okay.

Tohru, you're...

I-It's okay... I promise.

Kyo... It's all going
to be okay now.

Can you hear me?

Am I reaching you?

Please.

Never mind. It's all right.

I get it. It's all right.

No need to talk.

Let me reach you.

You look tired.

Thank you for everything
you've done,

but why don't you
go on home to bed?

Just leave it to us for now.

Yes, sir. I'll be back tomorrow.

All right,
but don't you skip school.

It would only make
her fret, you know.

Bye.

Oh, one moment.

Where's the other young man
with the orange hair?

Doesn't he know about this?

He's...

Visiting?

Did you come alone?

Are you here for Kureno...
or for Tohru?

It was close. I'm glad
they'll be all right.

From what I hear,
a lot happened after you left.

Akito, are you okay?

They should be blaming me.

Getting angry. Complaining.
I don't know, just something.

Why aren't they?
Are they idiots?

If they forgive me
no matter what I do or say,

that isn't softhearted--
it's just idiotic.

They're both idiots. Morons.

Good thing, right?

Thanks to those two idiots,

you won't be charged
for your crimes.

So, you got lucky.

Idiots do have their
uses, don't they?

Why are you crying?

I wondered--if I said,
"No. No, I'm not okay,"

what would Kureno do?

Come back? Be by my side again?

Honestly, I think he would have.

That's just the kind
of person he is.

Hopelessly soft and kind.

Endlessly kind.

And this whole time,
little by little...

...I've been k*lling him.

It hurts... so much.

I'm furious with myself.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

My meaningless apologies
didn't change anything,

but he listened
and accepted them.

So much kindness, and I only
ever repaid it with pain.

So, from now on,
make sure to treasure them.

It's simple.

Just because other people
think they're idiots,

that doesn't mean you have to.

You can take care of them

and treasure them
for who they are.

That's all you need to do.

This is just like
the idiotic traveler.

It's a story. Want to hear?

Once you do, you'll definitely
want to go see Tohru.

Wow, so Akito really
did go to the hospital alone.

I'm shocked.

And impressed. Maybe the
stabbing spree was cathartic?

Her and Honda, something
happened between them.

Yeah. I think
that's safe to say.

She sat down.

Not far away...
or somewhere above me.

She sat next to me. Nearby.

She started talking to me.

"There you are," she said.

Did everything go
according to your plan?

Oh. I guess so.

Although I am feeling a little
remorseful about parts of it.

[HATORI
"A little"?

Come on now, Doc. Baby steps.

It may not seem like much,

but that's quite a concession
coming from me.

It's progress, really.

"I just... love her."