01x02 - An Animated Short Where Pissed-Off Supes k*ll Their Parents

[bunniefuu]

A Supe's powers
first emerge when they're kids,

still living with their parents.

But what happens
when those parents discover

their kids didn't get
the big-ticket powers,

like flight or laser eyes?

They dump 'em here,

a sh*t home
for kids with sh*t powers.

Exhibit A, Mo-Slo.

Probably piss his pants before
he ever reaches the bathroom.

Then there's Boombox.

He's got a speaker for a face,

but all he can play is
"Only Wanna Be with You"

by Hootie & the Blowfish.

-
- That's Fang, with teeth

that can cut
through almost anything.

- Oy!
- And that's Kingdom.

He can turn into any animal.

But he transforms body and mind.

At least he seems
happy as f*ck.

That Mexican flag-colored liquid
in the kiddie pool?

That's Aqua Agua.

But he can't turn into
a tidal wave or anything cool.

He just sits there,

'cause he's f*ckin' water.

That's Big.

He's just really big.

His best friend is Human Tongue.

She's 100% muscle

with no bones.

Picante Balls.

He can melt anything
with his testicles.

Ranch Dressing Cum Squirter.

That one's self-explanatory.

Boobie Face.

Then there's Ghost.

Sure, she can walk
through walls,

but she can't touch anything

or be touched.

Or eat food.

Not that she needs to,

except she still gets hungry.

Ghost!
Ghost! Get in here!

- Check this out.
- ...files detail
- how superheroes

aren't born... they're made.

With this. Compound V is

a controversial new product
made by Vought...

They said we'd be rich
with a superhero kid.

Not this... freak.

We just want
our lives back, okay?

- I'm hungry.
- There!

Do you see
what we have to deal with?

The two of you are more than
capable of raising this child.

It's not our job to take care
of Vought's mistakes, okay?

It's yours.

We're leaving you here.
This was a mistake.

Let's get
in the g*dd*mn car

before she follows us home.

That's Flashback.

He can, well, you know...

So Supes are... manmade?

We were injected as babies.

Oh, my God.

Our parents chose
to do this to us.

Bet they thought
they'd get rich

having famous superhero kids.

But instead they got us.

Think of how cold
these people must be

to abandon
their own flesh and blood

just because we were
an inconvenience.

Well, what goes around
comes around, cocksuckers.

It's time
for a family f*cking reunion!

These kids
had been underestimated

their entire lives,

and now it was finally going
to pay off.

- No, I don't know
where they went.
- Some of us stayed behind,

not wanting to get wrapped up
in the quest for vengeance.

That's right.
I'm the one talking.

I'm a Supe, too, and my power is

I always tell people
what's going on.

I'm the Narrator.

I contemplated that as Barb,

- the head nurse,
entered the foyer.
- Of course I called Vought.

As Barb wheeled
her favorite patient away,

she thought about how butch
and beefy he looked

and what it would be like
to suck on his huge...

Oh, come on, Paul.

You know,
I could've had a normal life

without dangly tits for a face.

Do you know how much time
I've spent eating dog sh*t

as a dog?!

Yeah, right?

But it's been years.

How do we find our parents?

We go see Denis Fletcher,

director
of Vought parental protection.

Let's go get his ass.

I don't know
what you want me to say.

Compound V is... unpredictable.

Some kids end up able to fly,

and others, like yours,

sh*t poison.

But, yes, we'll take the kid
and help you move.

You just can't, you know,
talk about it.

Ever.

f*ck my tits!

Kingdom, constrict him.

sh*t. Someone get him.

Wow, you guys really suck, huh?

Ow! Ow! Okay!

What the f*ck do you want?!

We want the files
on our parents.

What? It's literally my only job
not to do that.

Forget it!
You'll never find those files.

You're up, Papers!

That's right. My name is Papers.

I-I wasn't introduced
in the beginning,

but... 'cause they th...
Maybe I'm not that important,

but I can locate any papers
anywhere.

And I'm pretty good.

Showtime.

There are a lot
of papers in this place though.

There are a lot of them.

I cannot... What is this,

a note to b... It's a...
That's a grocery list.

Okay, I-I'm noticing I might
have a bit of a weak spot

in understanding
what's on what paper and...

- Found 'em!
- Oh, you probably heard

the papers rattling inside there
because of me.

- Whoo, all right, teamwork.
We did it. I did it...
- This is it.

Our parents' addresses.

Boombox, give me
some violent montage music.

What?
I thought we got rid of you!

Oh, yeah.

- ♪ When I look at other girls...
- What?

- Aw, sh*t.
- Now!

No. It can't be!

♪ I'll only pout at you...

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

We had to get rid of you.

You were sh1tting
all over the rugs!

Oh, my rugs!

My rugs!

Is this the right house?

It's the right house.

That's my mom.

She seems kind of nice.

Hey, uh, Flashback,
can you show us

what this lady did
to deserve this?

Jesus! f*ck!

k*ll the bitch!

Wha... Oh. Oh, oh, oh.

♪ I only wanna be with you...

Uh, what?

What? Son.

What-what are you doing here?

I'm...

- k*lling...
- What?

You're doing...

- k*lling me?
- ...you...

Oh, you're-you're trying to...
you're trying

- to strangle me.
- Don't...

- make...
- Oh. Oh. Okay.

Getting a little tighter.
Oh. Oh. Ack.

- All right. There we go.
Okay. Yeah.
- ...fun of...

Now you're strangling me.

- Oh, boy.
Well, this is really painful.
- ...me...

Oy. How much longer
you reckon this is gonna take?

It takes
as long as it takes.

Why did I ask you?

Oh, geez.

Okay. Okay!

♪ I only wanna be with you...

♪ In blue...

Yeah. Oh, that's good.

Huh?

Shrimp girls, wait! Help me!

Shrimp girls! Shrimp girls!

No, wait! No, no!

Carl! Open
another box of pinot grigio!

Mommy's thirsty.

Huh?

Oh, it's you.

I told your mom once the truth
about Compound V came out

we'd see you again.

What do you want?

What-what do I want?

I want to feel, but I can't.

I-I want to touch or-or eat
or taste,

but I... I can't.

I even want to die!

But... I can't.

So, Dad...

Instead, I want to k*ll the
small bit of me that's in you.

What?

- Huh?
- Papers.

You sick freaks.
Get away from me!

- You f*ckin' monsters.
- Like...

- ...this...?
- Come on! Come on!

Yeah.

Just like this.

I did it.

Carl! Carl!
Are you okay?

I called Vought and...

You monster!

I wish you were never born!

Love you, too, Mom.

Uh, don't worry.

I'll be back one day.

Homelander, once again...

Sure,
Vought's shitty cover-up worked.

But thanks to Ghost, all
the orphans knew the truth now.

And since she gave us
the list of addresses,

how could the Narrator not pay
his folks a friendly visit?

Paul, Paul, please!
We-we only gave you Compound V

because we loved you!

We-we wanted...
we wanted you to be special!

"But you weren't special enough
to keep," his dad thought.

- No. No, no.
- The Narrator
wheeled over to his father

- and put a spoon to his chin.
- No. Ow. Oh, no, no.

He dug
with the spoon...

...and scooped
his dad's face off.

Then he put his dad's face
on his own,

so that his face
was his dad's face,

and looked in the mirror
and said,

"I'm sorry
for being selfish, son.

I love you."

♪