01x08 - The Hunchback of Nowhere/The Gods Must Be Goosey

[bunniefuu]

We interrupt this program
to bring you...

Courage the Cowardly Dog Show.

Starring Courage,
the Cowardly Dog.

Abandoned as a pup,
he was found by Muriel,

who lives in
the middle of Nowhere

with her husband,
Eustace Bagge.

But creepy stuff happens
in Nowhere.

It's up to Courage
to save his new home.

Stupid dog.

You made me
look bad.

- Ooga Boogga Boogga!
- Aahhh!

[thunder]

[doorbell rings]

MAN:
Aah!

We have no place
for the likes of you.

Oh.

WOMAN:
Aah!

Ugly.

Oh.
[thunder]

MAN: Sir, you are ugly,
hideous, and, furthermore,

not at all pleasant to look at.

[humming]

I thought I told you
to fetch my raincoat.

Huh?

Don't you know how to fetch?

You stupid dog.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Aah!

EUSTACE:
- Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! -Oh.

[laughs]

[knock on door]

Excuse me, sir.

Huh?

Do you have a room
I could spend the night in?

Aah!

No!

Oh, we could've put him
in the attic, at least.

What are you standing there for?
Get my raincoat.

Ooh.

Huh? Bells?
[bells ringing]

Ooh.

[ringing bells]

COURAGE:
Aiiee.

Aah! Aah!

Whoooaaa!
Aah!

Whoooaaa!

[whimpering]

Ohhh!

[whimpering]

[grunting]

Whoo.

[ringing bell]

[both laughing]

EUSTACE:
Courage!

Uh-[stammering]

Shhh.

Where are you, stupid dog?

I'll be right back.
Don't make me look for you.

Where's my raincoat,
you stupid dog?

[speaking gibberish]

Thanks.

I'm waitin.'

Know what I have for you?

[whimpering]

Ba-ba-ba-ba-booga!

Aah!

[laughs]

He treats you so badly.

One shouldn't act unkindly
to others.

Ohh!

Look. Look.

Stupid dog.

[laughs]

Ha ha ha.
That's better.

You try.

[laughs]

[both laughing]

Oh, Courage,
I was afraid you'd get

wet and cold out in
the barn all night.

You're just in time
for breakfast.

Come in. Come in.

A friend of Courage
is always welcome here.

I was so worried, Courage.

I'm happy now.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

Aah!

Ooh!
[gasps]

Ooh!

Didn't I tell you
we got no place

for the likes of you?

Now, git!
And stay out.

Now, Eustace.
He's Courage's friend.

That makes it worse.

Oh, Eustace,
don't make such a fuss.

Sit down and eat your breakfast.

I'll even get those
little blueberries

you like so much.

Eh, well, I wouldn't
mind if you did.

I'm sort of hungry.
[mumbles]

You know how
you spell "ugly"?

U...You, you, you,
you, you, you!

And you sure are
extremely...Bald.

[stammering]

[laughs]

Oh, yeah?
Well, you look like something

the cow spit up.

You, sir,
are extremely bald.

[sputtering]

Aww...Aww...
[sputtering]

And the only thing
uglier than this...Is this.

Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee.

Are you bald? Yes.

Gm!

Eustace, have you no
sense of hospitality?

Nope.

Well, then, you can
take your breakfast

and eat it in the henhouse.

[whimpering]

But--but-he called me bald.

Eustace, you are bald.

Well, keep him
out of my sight.

And why don't you two
go out and play?

Muriel, I'm hungry.
Muriel!

Hear what I say?

Hungry!

[Sigh]
Aww.

[grumbling]

Muriel. No dinner.
No nothing.

Muriel!

[bells ringing]

[giggles]

What do you think
you're doing?

Oh! Enjoying the concert.
Get your chair.

That thing!
In my raincoat!

Get your ugliness
out of my coat.

Aah!

You little...

That's it.
Now you just keep walking

till I can't see
you no more.

You stupid dog.
It's always your fault.

Look at me.

[whimpering]

Boo-boo-boo-boo-booga!

Aah!

[laughs]
Aah!

What did that little dog
ever do to you?

I told you to git.

What goes around
comes around.

Do you really
want to see ugly?

Uh...

Stupid dog.

Aah!

Help!

Aah!

Huh?

[crash]

Eustace,
are you all right?

[groaning]

[groaning]

I think it's time I left.

[whimpering]

[ringing bell]
[laughs]

[bell ringing loudly]

[both laughing]

Thank you for
your kindness.

I hope I find more people
like you out there.

[laughs]

I'm sure you will.

[thunder]

Empty.
My heart is empty,

and my clouds are full.

[thunder]

[honk honk]

[lightning crashes]

A goose, a gander,
a godly goosey gander,

without love,

is nothing but a fowl.

Without love, all of this
is but puff and fluff

and stuff.
[honk honk]

[thunder] The coming rain
should do these flowers good.

Darn horn.

Eustace?

It'll be raining
any minute now.

You should
come inside.

[gasps]

[honk honk]

[heart b*ating]

[honk honk]

[whimpering]

Oh, pure and
formless beauty.

Oh, light, oh, sky,
oh, baby's breath.

You have grown solid.
You have grown real.

You have grown fat.
You have grown real fat,

and your name is...

Muriel, Muriel!

Muriel.

If letters be in order,
let them be in such order

as to spell...Muriel.

Muriel!
Where's my pliers?

I am filled, full, and dizzy.

I am...
A stuffed goose. [sigh]

If I gaze at her longer,
I shall be consumed.

Has ever a Goose God gazed upon
such unfeathered beauty,

immortal flesh?

Does a Goose God
pursue a mortal woman?

Does one who calls
the clouds home

love one who must floss?

Does a Goose God love a Muriel?

Eh, I'll give it a sh*t.

[gasps]

[speaking gibberish]

Courage, what is it?

[roaring]

[speaking gibberish]

[whimpering]

Courage,
you sound awful.

How about a cup of
hot tea with honey

and a wee nap?
Ooh, forget the tea.

Ahem.

B-b-but...

You must have seen
a bird, Courage.

Flowers. Candy.

They pale in the wake
of her beauty.

Huh?

Muriel! Muriel!

Where's my pliers?

Did you take my--eh?

What you got there, dog?
[whimpering]

What?

Why, Eustace.
For me?

What a sweet surprise.

Eustace,
you are a dear man.

No, no!
It's that goose thing.

If I am to make her mine,

I must toss away my fears
like lint from a dryer.

I am a Goose God,

and I must have
this woman as my Queen.

[honk honk]

[gasping and whimpering]

Now, Courage, it's not polite
to point.

Mortal woman, I am here to
pronounce eternal love for you.

And you
pronounced it perfectly.

You do not understand.

I present to you
an expression of my love.

This gift.

[growling]

Ah, that's sweet,
but I'm spoken for.

Mm-hmm.

But thank you. I've never had an
endless field of flowers before.

It's very flattering.

[thunder]

[sigh]

[lightning crashes]

Who was that?

It was an admirer
who offered me

a field of flowers
and his eternal love.

Oh.
You seen my screwdriver?

That goose better not
try to take Muriel away.

[growls]

It's true.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, it's a poem.

[Goose reading]

-[gagging]
- Then all days be sunny,

all days shall be spring.

He does have a
way with words.

Oh!

[speaking gibberish]

[blows nose]

Aiiee.

[guitar playing]

J" When a Goose God
loves a woman J"

S' A woman, big and round S'

J" When a Goose God
loves that woman J"

J" A Goose God
makes this sound J"

[honk honk]

Oh, how lovely.

[whimpering]
Don't listen. Don't listen!

[sigh]

[speaking gibberish]

Booga-booga-booga!

Aah!

Well, if he's not
going to do anything...

Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm.
[harp playing]

Oh, Eustace.
That's lovely.

[whimpering softly]

[wind blowing]

[whimpering]

[knocking on door]

J" Goose God and Muriel,
Goose God and Muriel J"

J" Goose God and Muriel forever J"
Thank you.

[sigh]

[growling]

[grunting]

[doorbell rings]

J" Eustace and Muriel,
Eustace and Muriel J"

S' Eustace and Mur-S' oh'.!

[crash]

Oh, I'm famished.

That goose has gotta go.

[munch munch]

Mmm.

[record player
playing upbeat tune]

Oof! Oof.

Come with me, fleshy Muriel.

Come with me on goosey wind

and wing to Valhalla,

where you shall be
my fleshy Queen.

Oh, no!

You make an old woman
feel young again.

[gasps]

But my place is here
with the man I love,

and my dear
precious Courage.

COURAGE:
Yay!

[marching band music playing
and blowing horn

I think it's best
if you find another.

[door closes]

- Eee!
- If I cannot win Muriel with my love,

then I shall take her.
[thunder]

[speaking gibberish]

Oh!
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Eek! [speaki ' "g gibber. ng]

[honks horn]
Aah!

Oh!

[honking horn]

That--that sound.

What is that glorious sound?

[honking horn]

Uhh.
Well, I never.

Oh, I have found you.

[gasps]

I have found my true love.
I have found my Queen.

N-n-n-n-n-n-no.
I am not his Queen.

Oh, speak to me again,
my Queen.

Make your sounds
of love and longing.

[honk honk]

[honk honk]

[honk honk]

[honk honk]

[honk honk]

[hon k]
[hon k]

[honk]
Come, my Queen.

Ascend with me. The heavens
await our harmony of honk.

Aiiee!

[moa"I"9]
Heh?

My truck!

Look, Courage,
we've been invited to a wedding.

The goose and Eustace's truck
are going to get married.

[sobbing]

I'm nothing without my truck.
Come back to me, truck.

[sobbing]
Come back!

[honk honk]

[baaa]

S' Waa-aaa-aaa-aaa S'

S' Bum-bum-bum-bum... S'

[baaa]

S' Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-aah S'

J" ...Bum-bum-bum-J"

EUSTACE:
Stupid dog!

Ha ha ha ha.