02x09 - Snowdown/Figure Not Included/Mock 5

[bunniefuu]

[Moaning]

Eh...

What's up, Dex?

Dee Dee?

That's right,
Dexter.

And no matter
where you go,

no matter
where you sleep,

no matter
what you eat,
I will be there,

like a stealth
ninja polar bear,

waiting to pounce
on its next
unsuspecting victim,

for I am...

Dee Dee,
snowball warrior!

[Laughing]

Oh, another
winter of discontent.

First base.

You said it, brother.

Second base.

Third base.

Home...

I'm safe!

You're out!

[Ringing]

Ah, what a fine--

Dee Dee: Ha ha!
Got ya!

Dad!

Yes?

I'd like to talk to you

about the aggressive
behavioral patterns
of your daughter.

I know I shouldn't
fight back,

being that she is
my sister, a girl,
and the neighborhood champ,

but could you
please tell Dee Dee

to stop pummeling me
with snowballs?

Did you say...

Snowballs?

Uh, yeah.

They called me
champ,

back
when I had...

The gift.

I was a natural
from day one.

[Crying]

As I grew, so
did my skills.

Ow!

In high school,
I was untouchable.

Hey, grow up,
man!

They were just
jealous,

jealous
of my powers,

for I was a king,

a force of nature!

I was the ultimate
snowball warrior!

Then I
went to college.

I was never
the same again!

No!

That was the coldest
winter...

Ever.

But that's where
you come in.

You can help me
reclaim my title!

Wh-wh-why not just
l-let Dee Dee do it?

No! Her powers
are evil.

Only as father
and son

can we truly
carry on
the legacy.

Let the training
begin!

No.

No!

No!
Dexter, words:

Scoop, roll,
throw, hit, duck.

Good job, son.

You're ready.

Boy, I hope I don't get hit
with a snowball

while stupidly standing here
all alone in the yard.

Sure is quiet, though...

Without...

Dee Dee!

Um...uh...uh...

Duck!

Scoop! Roll!
Throw!

Hit!

No-o-o!

Atta boy, Dexter!

Hey, good job, Dexter.
You finally hit me.

Thanks.

What's this?

Dexter, what do you
think you're doing?
Finish her!

Oh, no.

Dexter, you must reclaim
my throne by defeating
the enemy!

The enemy?

Your sister!

Don't you see, Dexter?

You inherit your snowball
fighting genes from me,

whereas your sister
received hers from...

From...

The only one
ever to defeat me!

Both: You mean...

Yes!

Dexter and Dee Dee:
Mom!

Put the snowball
down, dear.

I don't wanna.

Wow, mom!
If you b*at dad,

you must be the bestest
snowball warrior ever!

Oh, no! We were just
kids in college...

One day I tossed
a snowball at him.

Aah!

He took it
really hard.

Oh, the pain.

Relax, dear.

Gosh, dad.
You went crazy
for all these years

just because mom
threw a snowball
at you?

Sounds
kind of silly,
doesn't it?

It does?
Itdo

I'm sorry, honey.

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

Yeah, that's
just as silly

as Dexter having
a secret laboratory
in his bedroom!

What?
What?

Nothing, nothing.

Look, up in the sky!
It's an eagle!

It's a rocket!

No. It's my new
major glory
action figure

with parachute
action!

Cool!

Check out
my major glory.

It's got a super-command
voice module!

Brush your teeth.

Clean your plate.

Look at my muscles.

Yo, check mine out.

It has a special
fighting fists
of fury feature.

All: Awesome!

Three cheers
for the major glory g*ng!

Hip, hip, hooray!

Hip, hip, hooray!

Hip, hip--

Dexter: Hooray!

My best pals
in the whole world!

Oh, great.

It's dorkster.

What do you want?

What do I want?
Why, to pal around

with my best chums
in the major glory
g*ng.

You got to have
a major glory
action figure

to be in the g*ng.

Oh, but I do.
Feast your
optic orbs

on this!

[Laughing]

You call that
an action figure?

That's just a lousy
cardboard cutout.

Yes, I cut it out
myself from
my cereal box

while eating
my morning bowl
of glory-os.

Look! It even
has super-
saluting action.

You insult the glory
of the glory g*ng!

You want to be
one of us, get yourself
a real action figure!

Mother?

Yes, Dexter?

I would like
to formally request

that you purchase
a new major glory
action figure for me.

Of course, dear.

For your birthday.

But that's
too far away!

Well, sweetheart,
if you can't wait
for your birthday,

you'll just
have to share
with your friends.

I'll bet you can't
even fly.

Ooh! Major glory,
you don't look so good.

You look
a little thin.

Hi, Dexter!

Gee, Dexter,
why the long
face?

I have no
friends, and I am
totally unpopular.

Duh!

I need a new
major glory action figure,

or my pals won't
talk to me.

Dexter, i'm
surprised at you.

Why?

Because you're
too dumb to make
your own doll.

I made one.

Her name is
pretty Polly.

[Kiss]

Pretty Polly!
Pretty Polly!

Make my own doll?

I am just
a little boy!

Doll-making requires
specialized tools and equipment,

high-tech machinery.

In order for me to make
a doll, I would need...

A laboratory!

[Laughing maniacally]

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Look at my creation!

It--it is beautiful.

[Yelling]

All: Whoa!

Greetings,
chums of mine!

How do you
like my new
action figure?

Uh...it's...uh...

It has several
very astounding
features

which you may find
interesting.

Observe.

It has super
space flight action.

Look! A piece
of moon rock!

All: Whoa!

It also comes equipped
with super star-spangled
laser vision.

All: Whoa!

And he has
super kung fu grip.

Action figure:
Hi-Yah!

Cool figure, Dexter!

Thanks.
I made it myself.

Just one problem.

You wouldn't mind
making one
of those figures

for all of us,
would you?

Uh, well...

I mean, after all,
we all got to be
equal members, right?

I guess so.

Good! See you
back here tomorrow...

If you're
our true pal.

Oh, I am. I am.
Don't worry!

Let's go make
some friends!

Dexter: Here are
your remotes!

Give them a try.

Yours has
super arctic wind breath.

Kid: Cool!

Yours has
super impenetrable
snap-on freedom armor.

Second kid: Radical!

And yours has
an all-American
cloaking device.

Third kid: Outta sight!

Is that glory g*ng
material, or what?

Kids: Mine's
the coolest!

[Kids fighting]

We can't decide
whose is better.

You got
to give us all
the same stuff.

If you're our pal,
that is.

Uh, of course.

Of course I am.

Dexter: Computer,
verify action figure status.

Computer: All figures
possess equal amounts
of all super-features.

A possibility
of overload exists.

Repeat, a possibility
of overload exists.

Here they are.
They do everything.

Now can I be
in the club?

Kids: Yeah, man.
You sure can.

Watch mine!

No, watch mine!

Wait, watch mine!

Kids: Cool!

Computer: Overload.
Overload. Overload.

Hey, these things
are defective.

You call
yourself
a club member?

Let's lynch him.

Major glory:
Stand fast, citizens!

Dexter: Hey, it's the real
major glory.

I am saved!

Which one of you
is Dexter?

That would be me.

And may I say
I am your biggest fan.

Well, you have
good taste, son.

Now, let's go.

Well, Dexter, what
have you learned
from all this?

I have learned
that it was wrong

to try and buy
my pals' friendship

with impressive
action figures.

Whoa, we're talking
about something

far more important
than friendship.

We're talking
about copyright
infringement.

Now, Dexter,
prepare to meet

someone far more
powerful than I!

Who's that?

My attorney.

Whatcha doing?

Reading up
on animal biology.

I bet I know
more about animals
than you.

Oh, you think?

Yup.

Ok, why are storks'
legs so long?

So their feet
can reach the ground.

Why do kangaroos
only live in Australia?

So they can be
near their families.

Did you know
deers don't have uncles?

They just have
antlers!

Cha cha cha!

[Reading to himself]

[Thinking]
What a fantastic challenge.

I bet I could win
a race like that.

I bet I could build a car
that was faster
than all the other cars,

and then I'd win.

But what about dad?
He's never let me
enter such a race,

and he'd fear
for my safety.

And I don't blame him,
but I have to enter that race
no matter what!

Dad, I'm going to enter
the soapbox derby.

No! No son of mine
is going to race,

and for me to explain
my reasons why would be
a long story,

but I'll tell you anyway.

It was years ago,
during that very same race
down volcano mountain.

Your older sister Dee Dee
was one of the drivers
in that race.

But what she didn't know
was that the race was filled
with dangers and tricks
at every turn.

Any experienced driver
knows how to keep an eye out
for these tricks,

because if you don't
pay attention, they can
trick you and mess you up.

But your sister was
overconfident about
her driving abilities,

which sent her down
a one-way road to disaster.

She was never
to be heard from again.

Dad, I'm right here!
Hello! Earth to dad.

Dexter, did you
hear that?

Yup, sure did, dad.

It's ok for me to race
as long as I don't hit
any turtles. Gotcha.

No, it's not ok.
I don't want you to race
or even think about racing.

I'd erase any thoughts
of racing

you have racing
about your head
right now! Hmm.

But, dad!

Oh, ok, you can race,
but only on one condition.

You do it for the memory
of your long-lost
sister Dee Dee, ok?

Ok.

Hello! I'm right here!

There it was again.
Hmm...

The first thing any
successful racer needs
is a car.

All the top racers
drive cars, and that's
what makes them go.

But cars don't grow
on trees,

except for this one,
because it's made
of wood.

Behold the Mark- .

Ah!

The Mark-
is a marvel
of engineering.

It's equipped
with the most modern
driving equipment:

Wheels.

Gosh, dad.
You sure have
outdone yourself,

but do you think
we could slap on

some all-wheel-drive
traction, supercharged-
piston cam, high-octane-
output torquefiers?

What? What's this?
I can't believe
what I'm hearing.

Outfit the Mark-
with useless gadgets?
Whatever for?

So the car would be safe
and I don't crash up.

Huh! You're a very
bright boy, Dexter.

Only you would know
that crashing is the part
I hate most about racing.

To me, crashing is bad.

So, ok. You can have
your gadgets.

Narrator:
And so Dexter and dad
worked late into the night,

souping up the Mark- .

[Thinking]
Dad is tired.

He has been working very hard
helping me modify the Mark- ,

but now it is time
for him to rest.

Come on, dad.
It's time for bed.

[Grumbling]

Narrator: Secretly unknown
to Dexter,

a mysterious stranger
is mysteriously watching.

Mandark: Excellent!
Ha ha! Excellent!

Now I, mandark,
know how Dexter plans
to win the soapbox derby.

He plans to use
this magnificent car.
But how does it work?

Oh, maybe these
top-secret plans will help.

They do! These top-secret plans
tell me the secrets

on how the Mark- works.
Excellent! Ha ha!

Excellent! Ha! Ha ha!

Hello!

What?
Who are you?

I'm Dee Dee,
Dexter's older sister
who, two years ago,

crashed up in the
volcano mountain race

and was never
heard from again.

Except I was heard
from again,

it's just that my dad
likes to exaggerate,

and he got mad
because I broke his car,

and he wouldn't
let me race again.

Except I had to race again--
it was in my blood--

so sometimes I stow away
in my brother's trunk
so I can be close to the
action,

and sometimes I secretly
race under the disguise
of "racer d,"

but I shouldn't have
told you that.

I've got a monkey!

So? I don't care
about monkeys.

Hey, don't you
be mean, mister...
Mister...

Say, who are you?
I don't even know
who you are!

My name is mandark,
and I am Dexter's rival.

He and I have been
competing in science and
other things for years,

and this race
is just one more
of those competitions

where we try
to b*at each other.

Except I try and win
by being sneaky and bad.

My plan this time
is to sabotage
the Mark-

so it doesn't work
as good as it should.

Then, when Dexter
is racing, he's likely
to crash up,

leaving the room
for me to win.

Well, that's not
very nice.

No, but giving candy
to little girls
and monkeys

so they can
keep a secretis.

Ah!

Now, if you'll excuse me
while I sabotage
your brother's car...

Yum yum yum!
What car?
Yum yum yum!

Excellent. Ha ha!

Excellent. Ha! Ha ha!

[Laughing maniacally]

Announcer: Good morning,
race fans,

and welcome to
the annual soapbox derby
down volcano mountain,

where some of the most
skilled and talented
kid racers of the day

are taking part in this
high-speed challenge
against mother nature.

It appears that the drivers
are setting their ties
for the start of the race.

Mandark:
Hey, Dexter.

I just wanted to say
I'm sorry

for b*ating you
in today's race.

Boy, your dad must be
ashamed of having
losers in the family.

You take that back,
mandark, or I will...

[Rumbling]

Oh!

Announcer: Drivers,
get to your cars!

Kids: Vroom, vroom.

[Snarling]

I can't watch!

Hey, Dexter,
I hear your car
is not only fast

but it also
is very safe.
Is that true?

Mm-hmm. It is. My dad
and I fixed it up,
and we did a good job.

Oh, yeah? Well, how
good of a job can
it do against this?

Ah!

Like sister,
like brother.

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

Ah!

My turbo-jump
is not working.

The Mark-
has been sabotaged.

I'm going to
crash up!

[Sighs]

Racer d!

Hi, Dexter!

Narrator: Secretly unknown
to Dexter,

racer d is actually
his older sister Dee Dee,

who supposedly
disappeared years ago,
but she actually didn't.

Bye, Dexter!

[Thinking]
Racer d saved my life,
and that's good for me,

but I can't help wondering
who she is.

[Thinking]
Excellent, excellent.
I'm in first place.

My sneaky ways
put me in the lead.

I'd give myself
a pat on the back,

but I'm driving,
so I'll do it later.

What? Who is that mysterious
driver coming up behind me?
So, who could it be?

It's racer d,

the most beautiful racer
in the world.

[Dreamily]
Racer d...

[Tires squealing]

[Crash]

Oh, hello there,
turtle.

Funny running into you.

Oh, there goes Dexter
to win the race.

Bye, Dexter. Congratulations.
Say hi to racer d for me.

Racer d...

Announcer:
Here comes the first racer
to cross the finish line.

It's Dexter
in the Mark- ...

Crowd: Yay!

Followed by a trail
of hot, molten lava.

Crowd: Yay!

Is it over yet?
Did Dexter crash up?

No, no he didn't!
He did just the opposite!
He won!

And winning is the part
I enjoy most about racing,

and I enjoy it even more
when the winner is my son!

Congratulations, Dexter.
You made me very proud.

Thanks, dad.

If only your...
Older sister Dee Dee
was here to...See this.

I'm right here,
dad!

Oh, Dee Dee.
Dee Dee, where have
you been all these years?

Right behind you.

Oh, you know
I never look
back there. Ha ha!

Huh? No, monkey, no!
That is not candy.

It is hot lava!

[Bell rings]

[Laughing]

enter at
your own peril,

past
the vaulted door

where impossible
things may happen

that the world's
never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory

♪ lives the smartest boy

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows
his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom

♪ while things go boom

♪ in Dexter's lab