03x10 - The Luck of the Ed Ed... /Pass It On...

[bunniefuu]

Double dee: this is one
of my favorites, ed.

Note: one small object
and one large object.

[Yawns]

Now... And this is
the riveting part.

If we drop both
objects in unison...

That's at the same time, ed...

One would assume the
larger object would land first.

Contraire.

Objects of different
fall at the same rate!

Isn't that amazing?!

Um, now, ed, when I say
go, release the ball.

Ready... Set... Go.

Ed, you weren't paying
attention, were you?

We need to drop our
objects at the same time.

Shall we try again?

Ok.

Ready... Set... Go.

Uh-oh.

It's stuck, double dee.

Just relax your fingers, ed.

It's devouring my
hand, double dee!

It's just a bowling
ball, ed. Calm down.

Get it off!

Aah!

[Whimpering]

Ed!

Howdy, neighbor!

Quick! Hide these magazines!

Hide these magazines?
What are you? A parrot!

Hide them, quick!
Go! Run! Hurry up!

Run? Where? What?

What are you waiting
for? Numbskull.

Come on, mom. Not that!

Wait! I need this stuff!

[Vacuum cleaner running]

Quit lying around, double dee.

My mom's cleaning up my room,

And she's making me throw
out all my cool stuff.

But luckily, I was
able to save the...

[Slyly] magazines.

Ed: I hid them, eddy!

They're snug as a bug on a
rug in a jug by a slug and...

How you managed,
in one foul swoop,

To make a mockery of
the laws of physics is...

Out of the way, sockhead!

Get back there!

You hid them good, right, ed,

In a safe place where
no one will find them?

You bet, eddy!

That-a boy, ed! Where?!

Yeah! Uh... Um, I forget, eddy.

You forget?!

What do you mean, "you forget"?!

My brother gave
me those magazines!

The number you are
dialing is not in service.

Double dee: I suppose one man's
treasure another man's trash.

Let's simply retrace ed's steps.

That should jog his memory.

This better work.

Well, I was walking
down the sidewalk,

Carrying eddy's box, when, um,

I saw a bug. Hello, bug!

I followed the little dickens

To this tree, see? Then I
hit my head on that branch.

Nope. Sorry.

It was this one.

Then I gazed at the stars.

Double dee: ed...
Please don't do that.

Come on. We're wasting time.

Where'd you hide
the magazines, ed?

Here we go... A rubber chicken.

"Hide the box,
hide the box," I said.

But then I tripped,

Hanging on to my
pal's box of magazines

For dear life!

I fell... And slid into a sewer.

Eddy: a sewer?!

My magazines are in the sewer?!

Seems appropriate.

You realize if your magazines
are in that sewer, eddy,

They would be
totally illegible...

The text smeared
by the damp sludge.

It's the pictures
I'm worried about!

Ed, did you hide my box
down in that sewer?!

Um, not in the sewer, eddy.

So where are they?

Talk!

Ouch!

Where, ed?! Ouch!

Those magazines are
one-of-a-kind anniversary issues!

Cough 'em up!

I forget, eddy! I forget!

Double dee: clothes
pegs, eddy? Please.

Obviously, your answer lies

Deep within ed's subconscious.

You'd have a better chance

Of penetrating
reinforced concrete.

I suggest we analyze
ed's person for clues.

Forensic science, eddy.

Any hint, trace, or grain

Could lead us to your magazines.

If kevin knew about this,

He'd take my magazines for
his own viewing pleasure.

Time's a-wastin'.

I've always wanted to say that.

Ed: eddy, will
these leave marks?

Big ones, ed.

My microscope should
provide the answer.

[Humming]

Hold this, please. Thank you.

What's with the glass?!

Eddy, please don't interrupt.

Now, ed, do you see what I see?

Cupcake!

So what's with the cupcake?!

Patience, please.

What's with ed's face?

Will you just let
me do this, eddy?

There we go, and focus.

Oh, dear.

Ed, there is a new invention
called soap. Have you heard of it?

Oh, this is gonna be more
difficult than I thought, eddy.

Oh, my lord!

What's taking so long?
Somebody's sure to find them!

I'm having a hard time ascertaining the
clues from ed's copious contaminants.

A moment, please. Read
a magazine or something.

Read a magazine? If I
knew where ed hid 'em.

Those?

Well, well, well,
what do we have here?

This looks interesting.

Let's see now.

Hmm. Fine loose grains
of rock... Mostly quartz.

Well?!

Commercial-grade sand, eddy.

From a sandbox, I'd surmise.

Ed must have...

Buried my magazines
in the sandbox!

Eddy's coming
to get you, babies!

I love babies, guys.

Goochie goochie goo.

Eddy, why are you
stopping here? The...

What's he doing following us?

Maybe he... The sandbox!

Oh, no, my magazines!

Jeepers, if only sarah could
see how good I am at manual labor.

And what are you digging for?

Are you working for kevin?

I don't know what you're
talking about, eddy.

I'm flying solo.

Eddy, you put jimmy down.

Can't you see he's an
innocent bystander in all this?

I hardly think that jimmy...
Or kevin, for that matter...

Have any knowledge to the
whereabouts of your magazines.

Oh, is that so?!

And what makes you think that,

Mr. "I know everything about kevin
knowing nothing about my magazines"?!

Boy, double dee, eddy
never looks at like that.

Shut up and start digging, ed!

Lucky feller.

Once he digs them up,

I'll hide them where
no one will find them.

Dig a hole, dig a hole...

But this is the
wrong spot, eddy.

Ed, you should be excavating
here in the sandbox.

And shall I lend a hand?

Eddy: oh, no, you don't!

Those are my magazines!

Eddy, I'm getting the
feeling you don't trust me.

How could you even think that?

Kevin: double dee!

Come here, will you?

I wonder what kevin could want.

Aha!

Kevin: hurry up.

I suppose I should go over.

Double-crosser.

Hmm!

[Both laughing]

Dig a hole, dig a hole,

Dig a hole, dig a hole...

You're very welcome, kevin.

So what's with that? What
did kevin want, huh? What?!

Kevin just asked
for the time, eddy.

Oh, yeah? Well, I don't see a
watch. Do you see a watch?

Ed: look what I found, guys!

I'd tell you I love you, ed,
but I ain't that kind of guy.

Bravo, ed. Bring on the grail.

A toothbrush!

Finders keepers!

You guys must think
I'm stupid or something!

You're both in cahoots
to steal my magazines!

And what would we do
with your magazines, eddy?

My hat!

My eyebrow!

But, eddy, I can't make
funny faces without that!

Wait, ed. I'm not decent.

[Panting]

Eddy, you wouldn't dare!

Don't come any closer,

Or the hat and the eyebrow get
a one-way ticket down sewerville!

Now, where's my magazines?

Eddy, gather whatever
strand of logic

You may have left.

We don't know the
whereabouts of your magazines!

Maybe you need to have another
chitchat with your ringleader kevin.

Ed, eddy's taken the
proverbial leap off the deep end.

Eddy: say, "bye-bye,"
boys. Heh heh heh!

Oh, kevin! Kevin!

Oh, double dee! Double dee!

Please don't do anything
rash, eddy. Thank you.

Ed: run! Run for your lives!

Edd: ed, this way!

[Panting]

[Ringing doorbell]

Oh, dear!

Kevin, wake up, please!
You need to talk to eddy.

Hurry, kevin! Eddy's proverbial!

Kevin: let go of my shirt.

Um, kevin.

Like I give! What a
couple of losers.

Ha ha ha!

Ed: ha ha ha!

Let go of my bike!

Cough up my magazines!

Get your hands off my bike!

You ain't fooling me.

I'm wise to what you and
your lackeys are up to.

Get over yourself!

Give me my bike!

I want my magazines!

My hat, please! Thank you!

Eyebrow for ed!

My magazines!

The bike!

The magazines!

Hat, please!

Eyebrow, now!

Jonny: howdy, howdy, howdy!

Check out what
plank and I found.

Talk about luck, huh, guys?

My magazines! My magazines!

Come to papa, my babies!

Pathetic.

Oh, there you... Aren't?!

Cool box, huh, eddy?

Where's the magazines?! What
did you do with them, baldy?!

Spit it out! Where are they?!

I hid them, eddy.

Oww!

You hid the magazines
in a different spot?

Pretty smart, huh?

No thanks are necessary!

Where, ed?! Where did
you hide the magazines?!

Jonny: I don't get
them, either, buddy.

Ed: well, I was walking down
the sidewalk when I saw a bug.

Hello, bug.

I followed the little
dickens to this tree, see?

Then I hit my head
on that branch.

Nope. Sorry.

It was this one.

Then I gazed at the stars.

"Wait to be seated"?

What's that supposed to mean?

They always say that
at restaurants, sarah.

Welcome to ponce de la eds.

I'll see if we have
a free table.

So sorry, but we're booked full.

You didn't even open
your eyes, you fathead!

Jimmy: wait, sarah. Let
me show you how it's done.

Ahem. Surely you must
have one table open.

Here's more garcon.

May i? There we go.

We have a variety of creations
to please every pallet.

I'll return momentarily
to take your order.

Nazz: what do you
feel like, kevin?

Are you gonna get the ed kabobs

Or the eddy pizza or
the double dee spaghetti?

I'm ordering the barf bag.

Where's that on the menu, kevin?

Well, jonny, have you
decided on anything?

Don't ask me. Plank's treating.

What do you mean, an ed
turkey a la king for you

And a couple of
breadsticks for the bald kid?!

[Rolf whistles]

Rolf would like
the ed steak... Rare.

Nazz: and I'll have a salad a
la double dee, double dee.

And I'll have an ed shake. Easy on
the froth, and make sure it's cold!

My! Uh, coming right up.

Ed?

Oh, no, you don't!

Too many cooks spoil
their goulashes, double dee.

Very well. Here's a few
orders to fill, chef ed.

I will wake him up!

That's it! I've had it!

Let's go home and eat, jimmy!

No, no, wait! Um,
let's... [Bell rings]

Nice presentation, ed.

And here you go: one
ed turkey a la king.

Oh, boy, I'm starving!

Bon appetit.

For crying out loud!

Double dee: ed, you were
supposed to use a real turkey.

Stuffing, anybody?!

Idiot!

Sarah: come on, jimmy!

Jonny: I'm so repulsed.

Sarah: this place is a dump!

Eddy: oh, come on!
How about a -for-one?

This should have worked!

This scam always
worked for my brother!

Everything always
worked for my brother.

Let me say this about that.

Do you know why
they worked for him?

'Cause people
respected my brother!

And they respected
me 'cause I was...

With my brother.

Don't feel bad, eddy.

The truth is, the others
have always held you

With the utmost, unequivocal,

And deepest sincerity
of disrespect.

Was here, I'd show
them who's boss.

That's it! My
brother's coming home!

At least that's
what we'll tell them.

Ed: wait till he sees
how much I have grown.

Deception, eddy? Is that how
you plan to garner respect?

[Laughs] what
planet are you from?

Double dee: be careful, ed.

The kids will be eating
out of my hands in no time.

Speaking of hands, eddy,

You might want to break away from
tradition and actually lend a hand here.

No problem, double dee.

[Clapping]

What's with the balloons?

You dorks getting married...

To each other? Ha ha ha!

Read the sign, giggles.

My big brother's
coming home today.

No way.

And it works for him!

Uh, so tell me,

Those stories
about your brother...

Are they true? Hey, guys!
Kev here wants to know

If those stories about
my brother are true!

Shh.

Tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'll introduce you to him,

So you can ask him yourself.

He should be here pretty soon.

Maybe some other
time. Gotta blow!

Is that respect or what?

A whole box of it!

That wasn't respect, eddy.

What I witnessed was fear.

R-e-s-p-e-e-k!
Respect, double dee!

[Panting]

Fishing is a gas, huh, plank?

Kevin?

We almost caught
you for supper, speedy.

Take a hike! I ain't
tellin' you nothing!

Ooh, kevin knows something
we don't know, buddy.

Hey, tell us your secret, kevin!

Come on! We won't tell
anyone! We're loners!

[Whispering]

It's about time! Hey, plank,
eddy's brother is coming home!

You didn't hear it from me.

Aah! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Ow!

Rolf: jonny the wood boy,

Always with this head of yours,

There's so many jokes. Yes?

Rolf respects your cluelessness.

Wait, rolf!

[Whispering]

Jiminy! Eddy's brother
returns to the cul-de-sac?!

Rolf must protect his fowl!

She who loafs in
the name of vanity,

Hurry! Our judgment
day approaches!

[Whispering]

For real? Eddy's
brother is so rad!

I better get my gear!

Who's up for "pin the
tail on the donkey?"

Shut up, ed!

Where the heck is everybody?!

Well, it seems your rumor
of your brother's return...

In order to gain respect... Is as contrived
as your spelling of the word, eddy.

I won't say I told
you so... Yow!

It wasn't me,
double dee! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Nice one, ed!

Tell your brother I
did you a favor, ok?

Ha ha ha!

Like he cares!

Ok. Well, how about
you and your bro

Come over to my house

And watch tv or something?

I mean, if you want.

It's working, double dee.

Gee, I don't know.

My brother hates losers.

Oh... Right.

But tell you what, kev-o,

Me and the boys will come over

And see if it's cool enough
for my bro to hang at.

You'd do that for me?

Party at kevin's house!

Now go home and make
sure there's lots of snacks!

That was unbelievable.

Party at kevin's house!

Why would kevin
invite us to his house?

R-e-s-p-e-e-k.
Respect, double dee.

Party at kevin's... Chickens!

Would you like to come to
a party and revel sprightly?

No party for rolf's fowl!

Your chicken too good
for my brother's party, rolf?

Has he arrived to
our humble cul-de-sac?

He's on his way, stretch.

Please inform eddy's brother

That rolf's chickens
exist no longer!

And what was that all about?

Nazz: eddy! Oh, eddy!

Up here, dude.

Can i, like, talk with you?

Me?

Nazz wants to talk
to... Ha ha ha! Oops.

Say, eddy, can you
tell your brother

I'm ready to climb
any time he is?

Climb?

Did you see that?!

Now chicks are falling for
me, double dee! It's working!

Eddy, wait!

My brother's making
it work, double dee!

Something's actually
working for me!

Party at kevin's house!

Eddy, your brother's
legacy has lost control.

Do you hear me, eddy? It's
changing with each interpretation!

Eddy's brother?

Rolf: hello.

I must see the
second-born ed boy.

Rolf does not mean to intrude,
lesser of the offsprings.

But rolf humbly offers
eddy's brother this token.

Hey, kev, fetch me some
more soda, will you?

When's your brother
getting here, anyway?

Got any dip?

I'll dip you, you dork.

I suppose a glass of water
would be out of the question, then?

Rolf: silence! It was
rolf's turn to grovel!

As rolf was saying...

Rolf offers this gift
to eddy's brother...

A vest made from the
hair of papa's back...

In exchange for the safety
of rolf's unoffending chickens.

Ed: cool. Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

Thank you, ed boy, and thank
your brother! Yes, thank him.

[Yodelling]

Nice lungs, nazz.

There's the ball, sarah.

Hiya, baby sister.

You dare hit

The brother of eddy's brother!

Brothers are stupid.

Oh, yeah? Why don't you
tell him that to his face, then?

[All gasp]

Fine. So, where's his face?

Kevin: where is he, man?

Rolf: rolf smell something,
and it's not papa's back hair vest.

Is he coming, eddy?

Eddy, everything's become
distorted, muddled, and mixed up.

End this charade. Now is
the time to gain that respect.

Eddy: ok. I guess I should
tell you, he ain't showing up...

Today...'Cause
he... Missed the bus!

Yeah, and he'll be at my
house tomorrow at lunch!

Kevin: awesome.
Can we come over?

Rolf will join you, kevin.

Cool. I heard he's so strong.

Jimmy: is he, eddy?

Yep!

I bet. Come on, jimmy.

Ha ha ha!

They're still sitting
out there. What sheep!

Your rumor is a monster

Feeding on everyone's
insecurities.

Stop it before it's too late.

It's just a little
fib, double dee.

Kevin would pound the
living daylights out of me

If I told him my
brother ain't showin' up.

Did he miss another bus, eddy?

Buses can be so cruel.

Voice: and hard on the caboose,

If you know what I mean.

Um, eddy, there's
someone at your door.

Eddy: it's probably
kevin. I'm ready for him.

Uh-oh. It's my brother.

Both: your brother?!

Hey, bro. Uh, good to
see you. Uh, back so soon?

Honest, it wasn't me!
They're all lying, I swear!

Can I get you anything,
bro, huh? Can i?

Get me a triple-scoop
banana split sundae

With chocolate sauce,
marshmallows, lots of nuts.

Hey, wait a minute. What happened
to that lactose thing you...

See this?!

Hurry! Hurry! I'll
get the ice cream.

I'll get the chocolate sauce!

And I'll get the nuts.

Boy. Don't forget
the marshmallows.

Hurry it up!

Watch what you're doing, jimmy!

It's these darn stilts.

They make me all clumsy, sarah.

Ed: hey!

What flavor ice
cream did you want?

[Deep voice] ahem. Chocolate!

Okey-dokey!

Your brother wants
chocolate, eddy!

Ha ha ha! Brothers
are such idiots!