05x08 - Tinker Ed/ The Good, the Bad and the Ed

[bunniefuu]

Edd! Eddy!

Bbblll... Yeah!

Yeah!

The little
fairy... So little is she.

Her boat fits
snugly inside a pea.

Inside a pea?

Dreamy!

She sailed to the fairy
kingdom in the clouds past a.

Diamond stairwell
to a garden of doves.

Garden of doves.

Oh, look, sarah.

I think I see her boat!

Pipe down.

If I don't finish this stupid
geography essay, I'm off the

Team, man.

Ah!

She turned and waved mindy
the mermaid good-bye, fluttered

Her wings and flew into the sky!

Little am i,
but I still can fly.

Try to keep up with me.

Try! Try! Try!

I'm flying!

Wee!

Grow up, squirt.

All that fairy-tale
stuff's a load of baloney.

Fairy tales are
not a load of baloney.

They're real, golly gosh!

You'll see!

Shh.

How is it that the others
know of rolf's loads of baloney?

[Bell rings] [maniacal laughing]

Ed?

Eddy?

Did you see the look
on nazz's face, double d?

I thought she was
gonna throw up!

Silly me.

And here I thought we
were beyond depantsing ed

In front of the cheerleaders.

You loved it.

Admit it.

Wait and
see, mr. Yum yum.

When my magic carpet flies
like this book says it can, kevin

Will know once and for
all fairy tales do exist.

Oh, you might need this.

I'll fly right through
his window and...

Hey, ali
baba, look out!

It's flying all magic-like!

Watch out!

Ha ha!

Aw...

Don't count your beans
before they hatch, little fella.

Oh, ed, not you, too.

Fairy tales do exist.

Pixies, mermaids, and
unicorns are real!

[Sobbing] hey, buddy.

It's all right.

Turn that frown upside down.

What's kev know?

It just so happens I saw a
unicorn in the woods this very

Morning, jimmy, my boy.

You did, eddy?

Really?

What do you
say you and me go see it?

Oh, yes, of course.

That's a splendid idea, eddy.

That would certainly make
jimmy... I mean kevin... See the

Truth in fairy tales.

Thank you, eddy.

No problemo, curly q.

Don't forget me, kids.

Why don't you meet
me in the woods in an hour?

With bells on my toes.

Eddy, that was a very,
very sweet thing you did for young.

Jimmy.

I'm so proud of you.

That's just the
kind of guy I am, double d.

I'm all heart.

Right, ed?

Berries, berries,
are good for your heart.

The more you eat, the
more... Shut up, ed.

Hey, rolf,
what's in the bag?

Lot of homework tonight, huh?

This homework?

Rolf has much homework.

Certainly not a load of baloney.

No, no.

We have finished talking.

Good night.

Look out for those
gold-dusted unicorn hoof prints.

Be still,
my b*ating heart.

Am I schfitsing? I am!

I am, eddy!

Quiet.

You'll scare it.

[Neighs]
fairy tales are true!

Hold up.

I could have sworn I had some
rare unicorn food around here

Somewhere.

Oh, looky.

A magical unicorn cr*cker.

Only a quarter.

Feed the unicorn, jimmy.

Wee!

Hey, hey, hey,
relax there, slugger.

But I
haven't met him yet.

Hugging costs extra.

Aah!

Gracious, ed.

You could have at
least left your shoes on.

Aah!

Kevin was right!

Fairy tales aren't true!

It's all a lie! A lie!

All of it!

It ain't my fault that fairy
tale stuff's a load of baloney!

[Echoing] load of baloney!

Load of baloney!

Everyone is after
rolf's load of baloney.

You shall not have it.

It is rolf's load.

La la la la...

[Doorbell rings]
jimmy, is that you?

Come on, double d!

Candy store's a-waiting.

And it's waiting a lot.

Big butt.

Huh?

What's that supposed to mean?

I ate a big breakfast.

So what?

Ah, such shame.

Gorged in guilt.

Oh, I will not sleep this nor
any other night knowing I had a

Hand in ruining jimmy's innocent
enchantment of fairy tales.

Aw, he'll get over it.

Kind of reminds me of the day my
brother told me cartoons weren't

Real.

Say it isn't so, eddy.

Yep.

Growing up sure stinks.

Ooh... Sarah, guys.

Jimmy's a zombie because
of your stupid unicorn trick!

A zombie?

Ed must touch zombie!

You'd better fix him before
sundown, or you're gonna be dog.

Meat.

Got it?

Sarah, I assure you that
my only wish is to make things.

Right.

No, it isn't.

I meant yes, yes,
we will make it.

Where is the little guy?

I miss him so.

[Thunder] [screams]

Hi, little fellow!

Concentrate, eddy.

Fairies are supposed to
float daintily, not flounder

Haphazardly.

Why, you dirty...
I'm the littlest fairy.

Ting!

With a spell to cheer you
up all bright and merry.

You don't exist.

And?

It's not
working, double d.

Jimmy's cloud won't go away.

Double d?

A tide of
joy comes your way.

I'm alanis, mermaid of the sea.

A mythological goddess
to help guide you through.

You're not real.

Here I go.

[Yodeling]
yonka, yonka, yonka.

I'm nugget the gnome, and
i... And I tickle the feet of sad

Little... Go
away, charlatan.

Whoa!

What irony is this?

A horseshoe made of pure gold?

Gold, you say?

As gold as the toes of my
once-beloved unicorn creature.

But fairies and unicorns
no longer exist to me.

Nothing but torrid lies.

This -karat shoe is nothing
but a reminder of my gullible

Youth.

Tell you what.

If it's wearing you out so
much, I'll give you a quarter for it.

I'm rich!

I'm rolling in dough!

I can retire now!

Look!

It's mine!

Perhaps you may want
to have a closer look, eddy.

What?

I'm afraid this is nothing
more than a plastic dental.

Retainer painted
with gold nail polish.

Horses don't have
teeth on their feet, double d.

Hee hee!

Jimmy's happy again.

Indeed.

What?

You backstabbing little weasel!

Give me back my quarter!

What's the x for?

Got the fairy
creature's proof, jimmy.

Whoa.

Say, fluffy, you sure made
a believer out of me, dude.

I'd better go spread this
with the others at school.

They'll sure want to see this.

No, wait!

Kev, come back!

[Laughter]
they were all part of an.

Ingenious, elaborate hoax.

All that for
a stupid quarter.

How desperate can you get?

Well, best prepare our
fairy tale for school tomorrow.

It's gonna take a lot of
explaining to get out of this

Plot hole.

What a load of baloney!

Rolf, are you ok?

You don't look so good.

Too late, vultures.

Rolf has taken care of his
load of baloney for good.

[Burps] rolf's
a hoot, huh, plank?

≫ mother, operation
for rolf, I beg you.

Ha ha ha!

[Buzzing] oh, too cool!

[Bugle blaring]
rangers, halt!

The urban rangers will now
entice you with their discipline

And daring do.

[Whistle blows] [whistle blows]

[Oohs and ahs]
yeah, more, more!

Are they fancy or what?

Urban losers.

Potential vacationers of
the cul-de-sac, as you have seen,

You, too, can ease the
burden of daily chores.

Whoa!

Ahh!

Come join the urban rangers
and become the master of the.

Mundane, the duke of duties.

Earn badges, impress
your relatives.

You do have to admire
their efforts in educating the.

Community, eddy.

Ahh.

Rolf sees the urban rangers are
far too demanding for one whose

Head resembles the
side table to a couch.

[Laughter]
ok, tough guy.

How about I take you on for
the hardest badge you got right

Here, right now?

Holy mackerel.

Is he talking about the... The...
Hairy chest of resilience.

Badge?

Nobody's earned
that badge in over years.

This badge has trampled
the eggplants of many a brave.

Hopeful who have
tried to obtain it.

[ Imitates
chicken] I smell a chicken.

A chicken, eddy?

Yep.

A big urban,
free-ranger chicken.

I got a badge for
you, mr. Chicken.

How about the go home
and lay an egg badge?

Ah ha ha!

Enough!

Your mockery of the
domestic fowl insults rolf.

You know not where
you tread, ed, boy.

Urban rangers!

Follow the chicken.

Follow the chicken.

Eddy, according to
my calculations, taking into.

Consideration mass versus height
versus the scope of coverage

And sheer body hair, rolf
surpasses you in every category,

Eddy.

Oh, yeah?

Well, who cares?

I'll show these urban
dweebs once and for all.

Hear ye, hear ye.

You brave men are about to
embark on a series of tests

Ordained by the grand
poobah of the international

Urban rangerhood.

Make your way to the
circle of supremacy.

Stinks to be
you, huh, flathead?

The contenders must endure
without a murmur, a mumble, or a.

Mutter of grief in order to
earn the coveted hairy chest of

Resilience badge.

The first test...
The wax of wailing.

Assistants ed and double
d liberally apply the wax to

Eddy's leg, adhere the leather
strap to the wax, and await my

Signal.

Lucky.

You still have
time to renege, eddy.

It's in the bag.

Are we ready?

[Toot] and this
little piggy went to.

Market.

Ho oh!

He whose mouth is louder than
papa's summer shorts, are you

Ready to cry?

[Toot] eddy, I
sympathize that your.

Past dealings with the urban
rangers have been less than

Cordial, but is this
really necessary?

I'm gonna b*at them at
their own game, sock head, and.

Everyone will see what phonies
they are when I'm wearing that

Dumb badge.

Gentlemen, the second test
is the bumping of the funny bone.

Oh, dear.

Gather your
fortitude, ranger tony.

[Toot] whack
the funny bone.

Don't make rolf
come up there, wood boy.

Faster.

Faster, I say.

For
goodness sake, eddy.

Concede.

Never.

I got you.

A massage for eddy, double d.

For the third test, wearing
only your birthday suits, you.

Must crawl through the
bramble bush of bellyache.

Birthday suits.

Nudge,
nudge, wink, wink.

Enough!

The prickly maiden
of the bramble awaits.

[Toot] birthday b*mb!

Did I win yet?

Fool!

The greatest test
must yet be realized.

Eddy, this charade of
self-validation has gone on long.

Enough. Look at yourself.

You can barely stand.

Please, eddy.
Throw in the towel.

End it.

Neither ed nor I will
think any less of you.

I'll throw in the towel
when it's laundry day, double d.

[Grumbling] the
next test is called the.

Pendulum of protest.

As it is said in your
country, let her rock.

[Toot] you
both have done well.

But this last test will
determine who will receive the

Coveted hairy chest
of resilience badge.

Gentlemen, I give
you the tour of tears.

What?

Ha!

Did I win yet?

No.

Catch you later, eddy.

Ha ha!

Oh, my.

Oh!

[Cheering]
aw...

Can I play with him, double d?

Ed, don't touch.

Now did I win?

Well, you passed out
one second before rolf, eddy, so.

Rolf won by default.

One lousy second!

Wow.

Cool badge, rolf.

Let me see!

Dude, you aren't
wearing that to school, are you?

Do not touch the badge,
urchins of processed cheese.

Spread.

Urban bonehead.

Be sad not, eddy.

You won a badge, too.

No way!

Yes, eddy.

The rangers did award you
something for your effort.

Suckers!

Where is it so I can
rub it in their faces?

Here you go.

The crybaby boo-hoo badge.

See?

There's a little rattle on it.

Of all
the... Let me at him!

I'll... No!

Oh, goodness.

Ed, I think eddy
deserves some rest.

Yes?

I don't need
no stinking rest.

I need a big stick to hit
rolf over the head with.

You heard him, eddie.

Rest is best.

So be no pest,
and I'll wear a vest.

One lousy second!

[Whistling]

Ed, edd, and eddy!