01x05 - They're Playing My Song

[bunniefuu]

I'm telling you, they'll fly off the shelves.

The single's at number one, and it doesn't even hit the stores till tomorrow.

Yeah.

Ice Pack's gonna be our biggest act yet.

He

-

- Hey.

No, I'm all right.

I thought I was the last one here.

Somebody must be cranking me.

Ciao.

Hello? Who's out there? Hello? Remember me? Guess you don't.

I'll try and leave a more lasting impression this time.

Bet you wouldn't have stolen from me if you knew I could do that.

Stolen from you? Yeah, stolen from me.

And now it's time to pay up.

Wait.

You don't want me.

I'm a nobody here, a nothing.

Then who should I be seeing? And talk fast, or the hits'll just keep on coming.

So Ice Pack always knew he had mad skills and whatnot.

Ice Pack just had to figure out how to bring them to the peoples.

It's my favorite record ever, Ice.

You're a musical genius.

Sir, we're being followed.



- So? Lose them.



- You better take a look for yourself.

It's one of those Bang Babies.

Get us out of here!

- Where are you taking me, Richie?

- Patience.

We're almost there.

It'll be easier once we can drive.

We could've got on my disk and flown.

No disrespect, but I've seen you fall off that thing.

One time.

And they were sh**ting at me.

Yeah, whatever.

Anyway, we're here.



- We're where?

- Your secret headquarters.

Every superhero has to have a secret headquarters.

Come on.

Hit the lights and peep your eyes.

You gotta be kidding me.

You'd have to renovate for this place to qualify as a dump.

Oh, come on, Virg.

Use your imagination.

Right now, this may be a broken

-down, rat

-infested

-

-

- Rat

-infested?

- We'll get traps.

The point is, with some work, this could be the nerve center of our entire superhero operation.

And what will we call it, the Abandoned Gas Station of Solitude? That's funny.

Hey, I'd have built us a tree house if I had a tree.

Wish I could just rent a decent headquarters, but that takes money.

Nobody said this superhero gig would be profitable.

Yeah, but it's costing me.

I keep tearing my costume, melting my shoes.

Did you see that? Depends.

What did you see?

- Slow your roll there, SuperBall.



- I got no beef with you.



- Static, right?

- That's me.

And you are? About to get very angry unless you get out of my way.



- What do you want with these folks?

- Punk inside stole from me.



- If he did, this isn't the way to fix it.



- I tried every other way.

Now, move.

How about we go all radical, sit down and talk about it? I don't think so, sparky.

Be that way.

Nice sh*t, but rubber's an insulator, so your electrical powers can't really hurt me.

Oh, no, you don't.

Let me tell you about electricity.

A big

-enough charge can overload any insulator.

And that one wasn't big enough.

You're not the enemy.

Oh, my head.

Note to self: Avoid playing catch with flying automobiles.

Little brother, you're running late.

Breakfast is already on the table! Virgil Albert Hawkins, get your ashy butt out here right this minute! Sharon, my middle name is never to be spoken aloud.

You know that.

Finally.

What's the matter, 13 hours of sleep not enough? Keep it up, and I'll stop bringing those Milk

-Bones you enjoy.

Stop sassing your sister.

Sorry, Dad.

Did you decide about raising my allowance? I have, and I've come up with a different solution for your money troubles.



- A different solution?

- Oh, you're gonna love this.

See, Virgil, you need to make better use of your time.

You've got to be more disciplined.

So I called in a favor from an old friend and got you into a work

-study program.

Work

-study? Wait a minute.

Are you talking about a job? Welcome to Burger Fool, where we're a fool for our customers.

May I take your order? I'll have a Big Fool, an order of fries and a Lucky Cola.

Yeah, and a side order of your self

-respect.

Thank you, sir.

Always glad to be of service.

I happen to think a man with a J

-O

-B is nothing to laugh at.



- Shouldn't you all be at the record store?

- The signing's not for an hour.

That's right.

One hour away from seeing Ice Pack in person.

It's on.

Turn it off.

Turn that off! What's your major malfunction? Rude.

Hey! I mean, sir you dropped your.

Nobody steals from me and gets away with it.

Ice Pack's gonna give me my due, or he's in for a real bad stretch.



- Who should I sign it to?

- To Lenny, yo, "my number

-one dog.

" Woof

-woof, homey.



- How you doing, sweet thing?

- You don't recognize me, do you? We never met.

I couldn't forget somebody like you.

You'd think so, wouldn't you?

- What do I pay you guys for? Get him!

- I can't believe my eyes.

Hey, yo! Watch the gear.

Hey.

Why you doing this, man? What do you want? I want my money and credit

- for the beats you stole.



- I just rap my rhymes.

I got nothing to do with the music.

If you wrote it, all props.



- Who'd you get the music from?

- Ice Pack don't tell no tales.

Funny, I don't see a parachute on you.

You tell me what I wanna know.

If it's true, I'll come get you down.

You didn't have to stay and babysit.

Wouldn't have been much fun without you, anyway.

At least we got some tunes.

Till Mr.

Sunshine comes back for it, anyway.

Ice Pack's new one.



- Where are the words?

- Must be a dance mix? Already? The song hasn't even been out a day yet.

Wait a minute.

Rubberband Man says Ice Pack stole from him.

Then Mr.

Sunshine comes in here with this.

Hey, guys! You're not gonna believe this.

Some snakeman dragged Ice Pack to the top of Spire Records.



- He's gonna fall off.



- Snakeman?

- Mr.

Creed, can I take my break?

- So you can go to the record store?

- Forget it.



- Okay, then, I'll

-

-

- I'll take out the garbage.



- You do that.



- What's going on?

- Hey, look.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Who? What? I mean, how? You rappers certainly are an articulate bunch.

What was that, a freestyle? I'm out

-y.

Oh, yeah, thanks.

Hold up, Ice Punk.

I want to know why Rubberband Man's so mad at you.

Can't say.

You steal from him? Like maybe some music he wrote? Don't mess with this.

Very scary person involved.

Yeah.

Me.

Not again, man.

Is that your final answer? All right, dog.

It's my producer.

That's who ripped him off.

Oh, do go on.

Even though it appeared to be yet another inexplicable Bang Baby incident some are dubious, claiming it's a publicity stunt for Ice Pack's new record.

I'm Shelly Sandoval, live from Spire Records.

If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't believe it.

What are the odds I'd steal beats from a Bang Baby? Actually, they're pretty good.

You steal music from a lot of people.

If that freak comes looking for me, I'll be ready.

Hey! Hold it, guys.

Hold it.

He's our guest.

Adam Evans, right? You're a very talented young man.

When my friend at the record company played the tracks you submitted

- I knew I had to have them.



- So you stole them.

Nothing personal, Adam.

I'm in the music business.

It's the way we do things.

But you're too tough to cheat.

I'll see that you get your credit on the next pressing.

And as for your money.

Just take as much as you can carry for now.

We'll work out the details tomorrow, okay? As much as I can carry, huh? You just made a bad deal.

One of us did.

You didn't think I'd give you my money, did you? I stole it fair and square.

You've got about a half hour of air unless you keep struggling, in which case you use it up even faster.

Wow, Dakota Hills.

Bet nobody here has to work at Burger Fool.

Look at this playground.

They could charge admission.

Probably do.

Let me guess.



- Bible study group?

- No.

But you'd better start praying all the same.

What the

-

-? My chain.

Hey.

When I'm nervous about facing a big group I try to imagine them in their underwear.

Sometimes it's easier than others.

A purist would never use an aluminum bat.

What are you doing? Warning you.

Adam Evans is coming, and you better make it right with him, or

-

- Sounds like he might already be here.



- Open it up.



- Do it yourself, smart guy.

Okay, but it seems like a waste of a perfectly good door.

Taser noogie.

Stand back.

I'm gonna melt the hinges.

I'm almost through.

Just a little more

-

- Let's see how you like having your air supply cut off.

Let him go, Adam.

You don't need to be as stupid as he is.

Stay out of this.



- What?

- Kawarimi.

Ancient ninja art of misdirection.

All you need is a thing some idiot can mistake you for and some idiot.

Big fella.

Bet they needed Lake Michigan to baptize you.

Hang tight.

Don't imagine we'll have to wait very long.

Stay out of my way, Static.

D.

J.

belongs to me.

Calm down.

You already made your case, and you'll get your money too.

That's not enough now.

I can't let anybody dog me out and get away with it.



- I'll lose my street cred.



- Street cred? You wrote a hit record.

You got talent.

That's what people respect.

That's what I used to think, but not anymore.



- Adam, I'm trying to help you.



- Too late.

No.

Adam, please.

What are you

-

-? You're rubber.

I'm glue.

Superglue, to be exact.

Now, pay attention.

Here's where it gets interesting.

Let me go! Let me go! What's that? I can't seem to hear you over all those sirens.

You think I care about jail? It'll just gve me more street cred.

When I get out, I'll be a legend.

I don't know, D.

J.

Seems to me that once the news gets out the others you ripped off will come forward.

By the time you're released, your hits'll be moldy oldies.

I wish I could've seen his face when you spooled him up on that merry

-go

-round.

Me too.

But I'm pretty sure it was in there somewhere.

All that money, and you had to leave it behind.



- Seems a waste.

- Superheroes don't take money.

- Superheroes work at Burger Fool.

- Superheroes used to work at Burger Fool.

I've been meaning to tell you.

After you ran out, you got pink

-slipped.

Oh, man.

In a related note, your dad's looking for you.

Anything else? Well, I knew how much you wanted the Ice Pack CD, but after all this.

Thanks anyway.