02x08 - Bad Stretch

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gotta be,
gotta be superhero ♪

♪ Gotta be, gotta be ♪

♪ Gotta be,
gotta be superhero ♪

♪ Static shock ♪

♪ Gotta be,
gotta be superhero ♪

♪ Gotta be, gotta be ♪

♪ Gotta be,
gotta be superhero ♪

♪ Static shock,
static shock ♪

♪ Gotta be,
gotta be superhero ♪

♪ Gotta be, gotta be ♪

♪ Gotta be, gotta be ♪

♪ Static shock...shock ♪

♪ Gotta be,
gotta be superhero ♪

♪ Gotta be, gotta be ♪

♪ Gotta be,
gotta be superhero ♪

♪ Static static ♪

♪ Gotta be,
gotta be superhero ♪

♪ Gotta be, gotta be ♪

Hey, richie, how many
superheroes does it take

To screw in a light bulb?

Huh?

None. If I'm the superhero,

You don't need a light bulb.

Hey!

I call it my novaverse.

All it takes
is a little wire.

Uh-huh.

Well, meanwhile some
of us are working
on useful things.

My latest invention.

It transmits
in a high-end
radio frequency,

You should be able
to hear it
with your powers.

Is it working?

Loud and clear.

It's got about a -mile
radius so you could
trace it--

Wait a minute.
I hear something else.

I think
it's the police band.

What is it?

Something about a flood.

[Screaming]

Aah!

[Horses whinny]

Stay down!

[Speaking spanish]

[Laughs]
good one, aquamaria.

She keeps this up and she's
a shoo-in to join the metabreed.

Time for test number .
Look.

Fun's over, wet and wild.

Give up or
I'll hang you out to dry.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Aah!

Unh!

Aah!

She shorted me out.

[Speaking spanish)

Back off, lady,

Or you'll have to deal
with rubberband man.

Gotcha!

Aquamaria:
[yelling in spanish]

I said let me out!

That should do it.

[Cheers]

She needs our help.

Ah, ah, ah.

You know ebon's rule.
She's on her own.

You're right.

Let's get
out of here.

What do you think you're
doing with that money?

Returning it
to the police.

Thanks, rubberband man.

Ok. What's wrong
with this picture?

Nothing.
I did my time.

Now I'm one of
the good guys,

Like you.

There's a stretch.

It's true.

Ever since he got
out of jail last month,

He's been helping us.

And we
appreciate it, too.

Uh, not that we don't
appreciate your help, static.

Uh...yeah.

Nice try, guy.

Man: hey,
rubberband man!

Over here!
Can we get
a picture?

Don't you want
to get in the pictures?

For what?

He's the big hero.

Ebon: you're late.
Where's aquamaria?

Ha ha ha! Oh, that's
a funny story, ebon.

Um, why don't
you tell him?

She was doing all right,

Then static showed up.

Hey, here you go, boss.

Double latte, right?

I got cappuccinos
for everybody else, but--

Aah!

On the other hand, who needs
all that caffeine, right?

I can't believe he got her.

I thought her water powers
would stop him for sure.

Uh-uh, boss.

Static didn't
b*at aquamaria.

It was
rubberband man.

What?

Um, yeah. We were
as surprised as you are.

[Yelling]

Oh, jeez-louise,
is he always like this?

He has his reasons.

Reporter: and so,
after rubberband man's
latest heroic exploit,

Even the most jaded
observers are asking,

"Has dakota's bad boy
turned over a new leaf?"

Robert: no tv
at the dinner table.

Yeah, especially when
there's nothing good on.

I told you adam
was a good guy.

I'm gonna go
call him.

[Mocking]
isn't this exciting?
My boyfriend's a superhero.

Sharon: I heard that.

[Girls screaming]

Girl: you're the greatest,
rubberband man.

Thanks. I gotta
get going, though.

Um, can I get
one for my sister?

Sure. What's her name?

Marvin.

[Cell phone rings]

Hello?

Adam? It's sharon.

I just saw you on tv.

Hi, boo.

Yeah, I've been
on tv a lot

Since I started
this superhero routine.

I'm really proud of you.

They want me to appear
on
variety night live.

Girl: that's
my favorite show.

You would be
so good.

Listen, we just
sat down to dinner.

If you'd like to come over--

I'd love to, but I'm
kind of busy right now.

[Screams]

So I hear.

Sharon? Sharon?

Oh, man!

Ooogggh!

He's not
worth it, sis.

I'm not so sure
he's really
gone straight anyway.

Please!

Adam's no criminal,

He's just turning into
a self-centered jerk.

You know what that's
like, don't you, virgil?

Yup, but I don't
hold that against you.

[Girls screaming]

Ok, that's nice.

Gotta go. Thanks.

[Sighs]

Now I see why
superheroes have
secret hide-outs.

Still gotta go through
all this fan mail.

Sharon! I gotta
call her back.

Call her later.

What do you want?

What do you think?

I want you to run
with my crew,

Just like the old days
before the big bang.

Not gonna happen.
We've been through this, ivan.

We've been
through that, too.

You call me ebon now.

Whatever.

It was bad enough
you had to run off
and be a rock star,

Now you're out there
playing superhero
and turning on your own.

It's not your business.

Is my business!

You belong with me.

People like us,
we deserve to have
whatever we want.

If we stick together,
we can have it all.

Yeah?

And every time
I try things your way,

I end up in trouble.

Then just
stay out of my way.

You owe me that much.

Aarrrggh!

Hey! Whoa!

[Screaming]

Let's go.

Hyah!

Aha!

[Screaming]

Oh, I hate robbing
joints like this.

No food court.

Open it up!

I--i...

Never mind,
I'll get it myself.

Oh, yeah!
My all-time high score.

Hey, yo, carmen,

Grab me one of those games
while you're up, will you?

Shiv, get back to work.

Ease up, talon.

He's going
for the record.

Static!

Dakota's number one
superhero at your service.

You mean number .

You again?

Listen, I work alone.

If I ever
need a sidekick,
I'll give you a call.

Funny, I was just thinking
that same thing.

Aah!

Oops. Looks like
I lost the ball.

That's ok.

We can play
with this one.

I don't suppose
anybody's up for
a nice game of checkers.

Need a hand?

No, thanks.
I always bounce back.

I told you to stay
out of this, adam.

This bird girl's
no nightingale.

What do you think
you're doing?

What?

I can't
hear you.

You'll hear this.

[Feedback]

Aah!

Aah!

Batman would've
had real ear plugs.

After all I've done for you,
this is the payback?

When dad passed away--

Don't you mention him!

Why not? I'm the man
of the family now.

Says who?

That's the way it works.

We're blood.

I'm supposed to be
looking after you,

Not fighting with--

Did someone say fight?

No offense, stretch,

But a big-time
supervillain like ebon

Requires a big-time
superhero like,

Well, like me.

The light!

I got this, static.

Wait. The light makes him
lose his powers.

You're blocking it.

Thanks,
little brother.

Get off him!
He'll get away!

I'm sorry
about that.

You wanted him
to escape.

You did!

I thought for a second
you had gone straight,

But you're just
like them after all.

Huh?

Whoa!

Great.

Security cameras
captured the scene

As rubberband man's
interference allowed
ebon to escape.

One is left to wonder
if dakota's newest hero
really is a hero.

Straight up,
news lady.

Heroes don't
let villains go
on purpose.

He's still not answering.

Call a few banks.
He's probably off
robbin' one.

Ow! When they say
the truth hurts,

That's not
what they mean.

So, v,
you really think

Rubberband man's
gone bad,

Or is that just
your jealousy
talking?

Mmm, both probably.

Lights out,
freaks and geeks!

I can't even
scratch my back.

Oh, the inhumanity.

Relax.

The flea powder
should kick in
pretty soon.

Huh?

Rubberband ma--

Adam evans,
this is the police.

Open up! We've got
a warrant for your arrest.

Ok, break it down!

Not here.

Put out
an all points bulletin

On adam evans,
aka rubberband man.

I want as many
men out there
as we can spare.

I gotta say, bro.
When you're right,
you're right.

They got eye-witnesses
and everything.

What are you
talkin' about?

Rubberband man.

Last night he broke
the metabreed out of jail.

Sharon! Sharon,
we gotta talk!

Man, where is she?

This is new.

Uh-oh.

Sit down!

Sitting.

I don't want
to hurt you.

I just want to talk
to your sister.

About this?

It ain't true.
I didn't break
the metabreed out of jail.

I helped put 'em there!

Yeah? I suppose
you didn't help ebon

Escape from
static either.

It wasn't like that.

I saw it.
We all saw it.

Look, I helped ebon,
but I had my reasons.

Yeah, 'cause
you're just like him.

No, because
he's my brother.

Your what?

Look, comin' here
was a bad idea.

Just tell your sister...

I'm sorry.

Wait!

Been lookin'
for you, adam.

Figured you'd show up
at your girlfriend's house
sooner or later.

Now what do you want?

This ain't about me.

It's about you
going from hero to zero

In seconds
'cause no one believes you.

Well, I'm family.
I'm always ready
to take you in.

You're not gettin' away
from me that easy.

Just hope I find them
before the battery
runs out.

Allow me to introduce
the newest member
of the metabreed.

My brother,
rubberband man.

[All cheering]

I never said I was
joing any g*ng.

I don't see where
you have a choice, adam.

Once they slap
that bad-guy label on you,

They never
change their minds.

It still
doesn't make sense.

Why do they think
I'm the one

Who broke you guys
out of jail?

Here's a clue and a half
for ya, stretchy.

You've been framed,
like a diploma.

After you let
your brother escape,

Ebon had one thing
on his mind:

Springin' his crew
out of lockdown.

Huh?

Rubberband ma--

With his powers
and a spare costume,

It was easy for ebon
to pretend to be you.

That way, with the police
on your tail,

You'd have to
join up with him.

Right, ebon?

He's lying.
He's just trying
to confuse you.

Hey. If the funky
purple long johns fit...

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Oh!

Aah!

Ooh!

You ok?

Yeah.

But that's it for me
and bungee jumpin'.

Get them!

Ebon's mine!

Great. That just
leaves me with
everyone else.

I was savin' this
for your boss,

But since
he left early...

Float like a butterfly,
sting like a bee.

You can't hit
what you can't see.

Aah!
Aah!

Aah!

Gotta hide!
Gotta hide!

What's a guy gotta do
to get out of this g*ng?

Uh-oh. Guess the light
goes right through you, huh?

No biggie. You know
anything about electrolysis?

If you run a current
through h o,

It turns back into
hydrogen and oxygen.

See?

Chemistry class is useful
in real life. Who knew?

Hey, this ain't
no way to treat
a brother, brother.

Don't hand me
that brother stuff.
You played me, ivan.

Come on!
Blood is thicker than water!

And right and wrong
are thicker than blood!

Ebon: whoa!

Aah!

Always could take him.

I'm sorry
you had to.

Yeah,
he had it comin'.

I ain't given up
on him, though.

I changed my ways.
So can he.

Thanks for saving me
from the lava pool.

You cleared my name.
We're even.

High ?

Not fun.

Ha ha ha! Is too.

Hey, virgil.

Am I still welcome here?

Sure.

Any friend of static's
is a friend of mine.

Don't know
about my sister,
though. Sharon!

Oh, it's you.

Oof, man, if I were you,
I'd rather fight

The whole metabreed
again than face her.

I'll take my chances.
Some things are worth it.

♪ Superhero ♪

♪ Superhero ♪