04x13 - Nina Loves Alex

[bunniefuu]

(theme song playing)

Hey, Alex.

Hi, Tony.

Guess what.

I just joined this great
protection group

in my neighborhood, see?

We patrol the streets, catch
muggers, that kind of thing.

No fooling?
Congratulations.

Yeah, man.
Only one problem, though.

They say I got
to have a partner.

They're all in teams,

so they say I got to bring
somebody in with me.

I'm in.

So what
do you say, Alex?

Oh, me? No thanks.
No thanks, Tony.

I'm sorry, no.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

There's a person here.

You mean you, Jim?

Uh... Yes, I mean me.

I have something to say and your
ignoring me made me forget it!

Guess I told him,
didn't I?

You sure did.

I just hope he
had it coming.

No, thanks, Tony,
sorry, no.

All right.

Ah, I don't know why
I'm even drinking coffee.

I'm so tired, I just want
to go home and go to bed.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa,
who are you? Who are you?

Oh, I'm your new driver.

Uh, my name is Nina Chambers.

You sure you're old enough
to drive a cab?

Here's my driver's license.

Ah. You got a license.

That puts you on our "A" list.

All right, it's a busy day,
so listen up.

I'll give you the whole
indoctrination right here.

My name is Louie De Palma.

You're gonna hear a lot
of foul things said about me

by the other drivers
in this garage.

Pay attention.

I got my good side
and I got my bad side.

Yeah, his good side is

he's never bombed
the children's hospital.

You gonna listen to me

or you gonna stand there
looking contemporary?

Huh?

Well, uh, that was just funny
what that man just said.

There are no men
and women in this garage.

All right.

Only hacks who ferry
frightened citizens

around a diseased city.

Welcome aboard.

I'm Alex Reiger.
Hi, Nina.

(distinctly):
"Nine-a, Nine-a."
Nina.

What, did he
just quit smoking?

Nah, you mean Louie?
Nah, don't mind him.

His mother dropped
him on his head.

About a week ago.

All right, I'll-I'll
introduce you around.

Over here we have, uh...

Well anyway,
over here...

Elaine Nardo,
Nina Chambers.
Hi, Nina.

(distinctly):
"Nee-na."
Hi, Nina.

Hi, Elaine.

Why don't you
sit down?

Sure.

So, you're new
at this, huh?

My first night.

And I'm looking
forward to it, too.

It should be exciting.

You know,
couples going to the movies,

kids on their first date,
anniversaries, you know,

lots of happy people.

This is just gonna be great,
you know?

I see you're planning on driving
in the borough of Oz.

Watch out for the Munchkins;
they're light tippers.

(chuckling)

I'm going home.
Good night.

Night.

He's cute,
don't you think?

I hadn't noticed.

No, no, no, I'm just kidding.

Yes, he's very cute.

Hey, Alex, Alex, Alex,
let me take you home.

Be my first fare.

Yeah, okay.

Hey, Louie, give her a cab.

Oh, sure, first time out,
you deserve something special.

Let's see, uh,
you got cab 404.

That's got no springs
and no heater.

We call it
Old Whip 'n' Chill.

Happy trip.

Uh...
(clears throat)

Excuse me, Elaine.

Who's cute?

You're cute, Jim.

Ah... (laughs)

What a kidder!

What a kidder.

Maybe you're right.

Sometimes I use "Nee-na,"
sometimes I use "Nine-a."

Huh, I guess.

I don't know, I don't like to
get pinned down, you know?

Of course, on
stage, I really...

On stage?

Uh-oh.

You're an actress?

Oh, yeah.

I've done some commercials,

some bus and truck tours.

You know, one show
almost got to Broadway

called Stompin' and
Clompin' and Cuttin' Loose.

(laughing)

(sighing)

It played one week and
I lost 11 pounds.

I did some TV, but...

Yeah, every script
they send you

has you saying either "jive
turkey" or "say what, sucker?"

(laughing)

How'd you know that?

You sure are sharp, Alex.

Yeah, well, listen,
right now, I sure am tired.

Uh, you don't mind
if we don't talk, do you?

I have this little alarm
that goes off

every time I'm with someone
who's about to be enthusiastic.

Uh...
Sure.

Excuse me.
Go to sleep.

(tires screech,
Alex yelps)

You know, uh, there's this
audition I'm trying to get.

Boy, this part is just wonderful
and if I could just get them

to see me, then I...

Hey, listen, uh...

I, heh...

I mean, I-I-I'm really
too tired to talk,

let alone participate
in a conversation

with a young actress cab driver
who's about to lick the world.

Excuse me.

Sorry I bothered you.

WOMAN:
Please, taxi!

Oh, you've already
got a fare.

Oh, he's just a driver
I'm dropping off.

Get in.

WOMAN: Oh, thanks a lot,
'cause, um,

I'm on the decorating committee

and we're late.

I'm sorry.

Sorry's no good when
there's no Eiffel Tower.

Where am I...?
Excuse me, I'm sorry.

Who are we?

It just started
raining, Alex,

and I couldn't let them
just wait out there.

Oh.

Hey, mister.

Yeah?

We're 16
and we're in love,

so could you please
do us a favor?

Yeah. What?

Buy us liquor?

I would, but I
forgot my I.D.

(laughing)

Hey, I-I live here.

Excuse me.

Listen, Alex, I really enjoyed
having you as my first fare.

Yeah, we really enjoyed it,
too, didn't we, g*ng?

Nee-na/Nine-a's
Magical Mystery Tour.

Excuse me.

Hey, hey, Alex?
Yeah.

Can I talk to you
for a second?

Huh?
Up here?

Okay.

Hey, Alex, uh, you want to go
somewhere after I get off work?

What?

She's asking you
for a date.

Hey, that's really very nice,
but, uh, I, uh...

What about it?

Uh, thank you, no.
I'm sorry.

(guy and girl
in backseat moaning)

How come?

Well, when caught off guard,
I usually say no.

Well, next time, you won't
be caught off guard.

GUY & GIRL:
Ooh!

Can we talk about this
in the garage tomorrow?

Great, great!

Listen, Alex, I really
enjoyed meeting you.

Take care of yourself, huh?

Yeah, right.
Um, good night.

Good night.

I'm glad we got rid of
Captain Bummer.

If you had a car, we wouldn't
have to go through this.

If I had a car,
I would have asked Wendy.

Mr. De Palma?
I've got a problem.

Oh, great!

A rookie with a problem.

Geez.

Your envelope wasn't big enough
for all the money,

so I had to use one of mine.

You think
that's against regulations?

Is this a rib?

I've never said this
before, miss,

but wacka, wacka, wacka!

If you do this
again tomorrow...

you can go
into the lost and found

and take anything you want.

We got matching shoes
in there.

Hi, Alex.
Hi.

Sorry I kept you waiting,

but it's so easy to
make money, you know?

Yeah, the usual
cab driver's complaint.

You know, listen,
I feel great!

Let's go out!

Did we have plans?

You aren't tired again, are you?

I don't know what it is.

I think I have to see a doctor.

I'm always tired
after a 12-hour shift.

I'm sorry, Nina, but I think
I'm going to have to beg off.

But the best thing
for your tiredness

is to go out and
have some fun.

Uh, look, Nina, um...

I don't date very much,
and even if I did,

I'd have a hard time
keeping up with you.

And you'd have a hard time
keeping down with me.

So, if you don't mind, uh,

I don't think it's a good idea
if we go out.

Oh.

Well, I... I-I hear
what you're saying.

Okay.

But I'm not listening.

Reiger.

Hm?

(disgusted groan)

Listen to me.

I'm a street guy.

I was raised...

by Old World people.

But for the first
time in my life,

I'm free of prejudice.

I endorse this relationship

between the two of you...

despite the obvious problems.

What obvious problems?

Well, suppose you go out.

You fall in love.

You get married.

Hmm?

What if you had kids?

With her skinny body
and your nose,

they'd spend their whole lives
falling on their faces.

(honking)

(honking)

(honking)

I got a problem.

How do you stop somebody
from brightening up your life?

(laughs)

She left these tied to the cab
door handle with a note saying,

"It's about time
you started cheering up.

I'll be helpful."

Aw...

Apparently,
she's attracted to you.

Oh, that's why she wrote
in the dirt on my windshield:

"My heart belongs to Cabbie."
(laughs)

So clean your
windshield.

You know, this has been
going on for a whole week!

You know, this'll be
the first day she didn't
send me flowers...

if those are for you.

I should be so lucky.

"Do you know how sweet you look
with balloons in your ha..."

Oh, come on...
(muttering)

Look at this here!

I wish I had the self-confidence
to be that direct.

Yeah? Well, not everybody
can be like that.

There's not enough
helium in this world.

No!

Oh, that's all right--
sometime they'll come back down

and brighten up an otherwise
dull day around here.

So why don't you
just go out with her?

I'm not interested.
Why?

Why?! Well, going past
the difference in our age

and going past
the difference in our race

and going past the difference
in our attitudes and interests

and metabolisms,

and the fact that
people who work together

shouldn't get involved
with each other...

Sure.
and the fact that
she's a crazy little actress

who likes to sing in her cab
and wears ditsy clothes

and has a view of the world
shared only by Jiminy Cricket...

I mean, going past all that
and getting down

to the real heart of the
matter-- I don't like her.

Oh, come on, big fella,

I know that you don't
go on like this
I don't like her.

about anything unless
you have a connection.

Oh, well, then I just
won't go on about her.

I have absolutely no need
to go on about it.

Oh, don't look at me
like that, Elaine.

And what's more...

Look, the last thing
I need in my life

is a born-again cheerleader

who's gonna try to kick
some life into the old boy.

She thinks if you treat people
right, they'll treat you right.

She's like every actress
or Hindu that I ever met.

She has karma,
she's high on life,

she's positive,
hard-working, joyful...

and I don't like her!

Hey, Louie!

What?

She's coming.

Oh, no, this has become my
least favorite part of the day.

Another big-money night?

(coins clinking)
(giddy cackling)

Let me see.

(coins clink)

Oh! Nina, I gotta
tell you this.

I'm not a
sentimental man,

but each day when I
look into this envelope,

I get all misty.

And I love the way you light up
when I come in, Louie.

She loves me!
(laughing)

Before you two start pouring
champagne over each other,

I want to talk to you.

Come here for a second.

No, I just wanna talk
to you for a second.

Listen, Alex, I can't
talk right now.

I got the audition
for that part.

They're finally seeing me.

But...
But if you like,
we could talk later.

You gonna be home
around 7:00?
Yeah.

I'll come by.
Okay.

Okay!

No, uh, no, no.

(grunts)

Well, it's better
on my turf.

Right.

I mean, I've been too nice
about it, haven't I?

I'm not gonna worry about
hurting her feelings anymore.

I mean, I've had it!

If she doesn't understand,

you can explain it over
a weekend in Connecticut.

(knocking on door)

Alex?
Yeah.

I think I got the part.

I think I got the part,
Alex.

I really do.

It was the best audition
I ever gave!

Great.

You really are a cure
for euphoria.

Now, look, I'm very pleased
about your news,

but I have something
to talk to you about.

Now sit down,
please.
Alex, I hope
you don't mind.

I gave them your number.
They're gonna call.
Yeah, okay.

They haven't called yet,
have they?
No!

Look...
You haven't been
on the phone,

have you?
No, look, Nina, would
you just...

Is your phone working?
What are you doing?

No, they might be trying
to call me right now.

Nina, would you please
sit down?

Alex, I cannot
sit still.

Talk to me if you want to,
but I cannot sit still.

What does it take
to get you excited?

I would get excited
if you got the part.

I think I've gotten
the part.

Oh, don't be
ridiculous!

Until you get the phone call,
how can you be sure?
Because

I overheard the playwright

say to the composer
that "she's perfect,"

and the-- and the composer said,
"She sings like an angel,"

and the stage doorman--

oh, the stage doorman,

he says, "I knew you were
gonna get that part,"

and-and-and the director
kissed me on both cheeks,

like they do in Europe,

and he says,

"I've never been so moved

since Judy Garland re-opened
at the Palace."

They're talking to my agents
right now, Alex.

And, if that's
not enough,

I've got a funny feeling
creeping up my left leg

that tells me something
good is gonna happen
to me today.

So what do you think?

Sounds like a good audition.

Yeah?

You-You really
think so?

(phone ringing)

(screams, laughs)

Hello.

Yes, she is.

Well, I'll see.

Are you in?

(gasps)

Stand back, Alex.

I'm gonna need a little
freakin' space!

(giggles)

Hello.

Oh...

Oh... okay.

Thanks, thanks, Paulie.

They said I was too right
for it.

Too... Too on the nose.

Too right for it?!

They said they adored my acting,

and my-my dancing,

and my singing.

It's just me they didn't like.

Oh, no, hey, listen, uh...
hey, come on,

you know, like-like--
I mean, uh,

hey, listen,
you know...
(crying)

Well, come on,
it-it...

Why do I make myself
so crazy,

and get my hopes up
so high?

Hey, come on, if you
believe in yourself,

you're gonna make it!

You were right
all along, Alex.

No, Nina, I wasn't.

I wasn't.

Don't-Don't try
to make me feel better.

Oh, don't worry.

I probably won't come close.

Hey, Nina, I know this must feel

like the worst night
of your life, but...

hey, come on, just between
the two of us, no kidding,

isn't it great
you almost got it?

Huh?

You almost got
the part.

You're 25 years old.

You nearly got the lead
in a Broadway show.

You're blessed and you're lucky,

because you get to have a broken
heart over something that good.

The last broken heart I had was
when the Jets didn't cover.

(laughs)

(both laugh)

You really are
somethin'.

So...

what was it you wanted
to talk to me about?

Nah, it's, uh...

Oh...

you wanted to ask me

to stop bothering you, right?

Look, Nina, Nina...

the basic problem between us

is that you're looking
for magic,

and believe me,
from the bottom of my heart,

look at me,

I'm a no-magic man.

(gentle laugh)

I'm going home.

Kiss me good night?

Sure.

Boy...

you sure are smart.

You said no magic,

and darned
if it ain't so!

Alex, thanks for helping me out
this evening.

I really appreciate it, huh?

Thanks a whole lot.
What?

You're wonderful.
Hey, hey, no, hey.

Look, look...
I'll see ya later,
huh?

Do you want a cup of
coffee-- I mean,
Ciao.

don't you want to talk
or anything?

I mean, you gotta have
some problems and want
to talk about it,

I'm really good
with problems.
I'm all right,

I'm all right, really.
Don't worry about me.

We could have dinner.
You know, I-I was...

Alex, you've helped me
plenty already.

Oh, I can help you
more than that.
Oh... no.

You've got a lot more
problems than that.
I'm fine.

No, I mean it.
I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Oh, good.
Yeah, okay.

See ya.

Yeah, I'll see ya.

(theme song playing)

WOMAN:
Good night, Mr. Walters!

(man grumbling)