(male narrator)
What happens when Q and Murr
are forced to get intimate?
[laughing]
What's got Sal speaking
in tongues?
Hey, everybody!
(male narrator)
And Joe sticks his nose
where it really doesn't belong.
Oh, oh, oh!
(male narrator)
But will tonight's big loser
be stripped
of more than just his dignity
in the most revealing dare yet?
[chanting]
Take it off! Take it off!
[theme music]
- Here we go!
- Yeah!
We're at Rapid Realty,
teaming up
to teach sensitivity training
to their employees.
The catch is, we've designed
the presentations for each other
to be as insensitive
as possible.
When finished,
we'll ask the employees
to raise their hands
if they learned something.
Whichever teams get
the fewest hands loses.
- Hi, everyone. How are you?
- Hello, hello.
Hi. Welcome.
We are from
Sensitivity Coaches. Inc.
We've been hired
to come speak with you today
on issues such as sensitivity
in the workplace..
In situations like these,
you see
how much of a natural
bull[bleep] he really is.
(Joe)
'Yeah, but no amount of
bull[bleep] is gonna get him'
'through the presentation
we made.'
Okay, insensitivity pitfalls.
So, here's the a-appropriate way
to tell an Indian
that their lunch smells funny.
[laughing]
Okay.
Uh, remember,
sensitivity is key.
Uh, Brindash,
how you doing, buddy?
That smells really good.
How is that?
Uh, it's very good.
My wife made it.
Uh, the thing is, though, um
I'm kind of allergic to curry.
- Oh. I'm so sorry.
- Blow up... yeah.
So, I don't want to infringe
upon your right to eat curry.
What if,
whenever I bring in curry
I eat it outside the office?
I would really appreciate that.
- Positivity.
- Positivity.
Now...the n-words
that you can use.
[laughing]
- None.
- None.
You cannot use any n-words
in the office ever.
Next slide.
Right, the appropriate way
to kiss a co-worker hello.
[laughing]
Uh, the answer is very simple..
You do not kiss
a co-worker hello.
Next slide.
- And then the wrong way to..
- Alright, right, of course.
Uh, demonstrate.
The wrong way
to kiss a co-worker hello.
Pucker up,
fat Rosie O'Donnell.
[laughing]
[instrumental music]
[laughing]
What we'd like to do
is take a quick survey by hand.
If you feel like you've taken
value from today's seminar
please raise your hand.
One, two.
[laughing]
So, that's two. Great.
- Hello, folks. How's it going?
- Hey, how are you?
Thank you for coming
to our sensitivity training.
They look like the sort of
[bleep] that would teach this--
Yeah, they do.
So, uh, workplace-sensitivity
training today
for a better tomorrow.
Is it ever okay to say
nice boobies?
[laughing]
Yes. Okay?
[chuckles]
Why don't you tell them
about it, Sal?
[laughing]
Is it ever okay to say,
nice boobies?
Yes, if boobies is referring
to something other than
female breasts.
Yes, does anyone here speak
the Queen's English?
You know, they call over there,
you know, they --
They call their children
boobies.
Right, they call children
boobies.
Oh, wow.
If it was bring your kids
to work day
and you had your kids
and I was English
I would say, "Oh, nice boobies."
Yes, and, "You got a nice
set of boobies, "
if they have twins.
Is it ever okay to say,
nice titties?
Yes.
[laughing]
Look at Sal,
can't keep it together.
What's, what's back there, Sal?
What are you looking at?
If the word doesn't refer
to what you think,
you think it does..
...then that's where
you learn something.
Titties doesn't necessarily
have to mean the female breasts.
[laughing]
(Q)
'Sal, hold it together.'
[laughing]
[laughing]
He just... he left the room.
Alright.
So, let's say, for instance
you come and say to you, uh
right, if you're wearing
a titty brand..
- This'll be for the next one.
- Oh, okay, bring that in.
As long as it doesn't refer to
the female breasts, we're okay.
Absolutely.
How not to behave
in the workplace.
Play video demonstration
number one.
What they don't know
is that we secretly filmed
their sisters and put it
in their presentation.
(Q)
'This is what I've been
waiting for all day.'
[Murr laughing]
'Yeah.'
That is Sal's sister.
Jenna, were you able
to get those reports out?
Yes, I was.
(Q)
'Yeah, it's your sister, buddy.'
...I sent out three copies.
'Excellent.'
[instrumental music]
Play video demonstration
number one.
What they don't know
is that we secretly filmed
their sisters and put it
in their presentation.
That is Sal's sister.
(Q)
'Yeah, it's your sister, buddy.'
Jenna were you able to get
those reports out?
Yes, I was.
And I was afraid that they
wouldn't get there on time
but they will be there on time.
I sent out three copies.
- Excellent.
- Just like you requested.
(Murr)
'Look at Q's hand,
look at Q's hand!'
- You're doing a great job.
- Thank you, Mr.. Quinn.
- A great job.
- Thank you. I appreciate that.
- Next slide.
- Mm-hmm.
I really like what you did here,
Carla. It's excellent work.
- That's Joe sister.
- Joe's sister.
(Murr)
'It may be something
our South American colleagues'
might, like, you know?
Okay.
Alright.
(Joe)
'Alright.'
(Carla)
'Sure.'
(Joe)
Okay.
That is my sister
that is being molested
by a ferret-looking man.
Fun and professional.
You shouldn't have any problems.
Just by a show of hands,
let us know
who felt like they learned
something new here today.
- Of value.
- Yes.
- One, two..
- One, two, three.
[bell dings]
(male narrator)
Murr and Q
are feeling sensitive
because they both take a loss.
We are at the Staten Island
ferry..
...trying to get strangers
to guess
which famous person
we think they look like.
The catch is, the person
we're describing doesn't exist.
The other guys will be providing
the details via these cards.
If you can't get someone
to take a guess
about who we're describing,
you lose.
[instrumental music]
I-I recognize you.
You, are you , are you famous?
'You, you look like you're a..'
you look like
a sloppy-drunk po-poker player.
No? Alright.
Damn it.
You are a famous person.
I'm pretty sure she knows that.
If she's a famous person.
You're that guy from, uh..
- Yeah, you. Are you famous?
- No.
Does anyone ever tell you
you look like somebody?
You look, you look exactly like,
uh..
the guy on the TV show that has,
like, a sassy dog.
The dog's always like..
You know what I mean,
a sassy dog?
- No.
- No? Really?
H-he talks like this.
Hey, everybody!
[laughing]
(Sal)
'Okay, maybe this one
will ring a bell.'
He burps when he sleeps,
but he farts when he's awake.
[laughing]
You know who I'm talking about.
He talks like this.
Hey, everybody!
He burps when he sleeps,
he farts when he's awake.
You know him?
- No.
- Aw!
- You don't wanna say your name?
- No, I don't.
No, he doesn't know
who that guy is.
I had nothing.
I'm like, hey, everybody!
[laughing]
(Murr)
'Who talks like that?'
Oh, my god. For a second,
I thought you were that actor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, God,
you look like that guy, right
The guy from that movie?
The actor fr-from the, you're
in the commercials, right?
- You're in commercials?
- No, no.
Look like, the enema, the enema
commercials, that guy?
'You know who I'm talkin'
about.'
'And he, and he slept with'
David Copperfield by accident.
How do you sleep with
David Copperfield by accident?
Sleight of hand?
The guy from
the enema commercial.
You know who I'm talking about?
He was, he was in, uh,
he went ape [bleep]
Remember, the guy went ape
[bleep]
He tried to set his thoughts
on fire?
Crazy guy.
Charlie Sheen! That's it!
That's Charlie Sheen!
Very nice to meet you.
You too, sir, you too.
- Charlie Sheen.
- Just met Charlie Sheen.
Dude, you know who you look
like? Hold on one sec.
Hold on one sec.
You know who you look like?
Uh, hold on one sec, uh...
What's the name of the guy?
The guy that plays
professional ping-pong
the really famous athlete?
Oh, you don't, oh, my God!
What's his name?
'Oh, you know what?'
He's the guy that got a..
He's the guy that got
a presidential pardon
for all his work
with Scandinavian cuisine.
- You, you really got me now.
- Nobody? Take a guess.
You don't know who he is?
(Sal)
'Let's keep giving him
more cards.'
- I got nothing.
- Oh, my god.
He's the guy that had sex
in the trunk of a Volvo.
[laughing]
He's the guy that looks
like a skinny, white Oprah.
With the symbol,
his symbol is the x's for eyes
and the sad face.
What is his name?
Dude, th-the, the blank guy,
the guy with nothing at all?
That's what I'm drawing
right now, a blank.
[laughing]
Damn it!
- Oh, what's up? Oh!
- Yo.
Oh, you look like that, uh,
that famous guy.
- Which famous..
- You look like, uh..
You got to hear it all the time.
'Seriously, you don't get, uh..'
I thought you were him
right away.
You look like the hip-hop mogul
who sacrificed
everything for a fruit roll-up.
Exotic, you know what I mean?
He's a hip-hop mogul now?
You look just like him.
He.. aw.
He, uh, he-he invented
the erotic Rubik's Cube?
Do you ever hear of that thing,
you know, you put it on
and you do, you got to figure
out the color?
Yeah, but you look
just like him.
Uh, you're tall, dark,
and handsome
but really dark,
if you know what I mean.
Tall, dark, handsome,
but really dark.
Dude, no, you know who I'm
talking about, though, right?
He's a mogul, traded it all in
for a froot loop?
No. Got him. Oh, alright.
[laughing]
You [bleep] idiot.
I thought you were that famous
guy, you look just like
the pop singer
with the shingles.
She swallowed that baby duck
years ago?
He licks first,
asks questions later.
He has lovely lady lumps?
He has lovely lady lumps?
He's like Steve Carell
with a bigger nose?
He's got hands the size
of stingrays.
He got fan.. Oh.
Je slept with Ja Rule's
brother, Bra Rule.
No? No? Who doesn't..
You know who I'm talking...
[laughing]
(male narrator)
Sal, Joe, and Murr
look like three losers.
Babies don't really
look like anyone.
People are like,
"Oh, do you look like the mom
or look like the dad?"
I can never tell.
And I always lie
my way through it.
They all look
like Winston Churchill.
[laughing]
You know that hot receptionist
in your office?
Get her out of your head.
You're stuck with us.
We're posing as receptionists
in a waiting room
at a chiropractor's office.
We have to do what the other
guys tell us.
Remember how we all said
we'd wear suits?
I'm gonna be sitting
back there.
Nobody's gonna see me
from here down.
Hey, how you doing, man?
Cool, uh, yeah,
just sign in right there.
Thanks, backpack.
[laughing]
Thanks, backpack.
Hey, Q, can you just get up
and walk around the counter,
'cause there's something
around the front, buddy
I think you need to get.
- Oh, he's in his shorts.
- He's in shorts with no shoes.
He's not wearing any pants.
[laughing]
There we go.
Make sure he looks at you.
[laughing]
- 'He's got no shoes.'
- 'Point and sh**t.'
[laughing]
In the office, we have casual
Friday, you know?
Is today Thursday?
Is it really Thursday?
"I'm off on Thursdays."
I'm, I'm off on Thursdays.
What?
Say, "I'm all business
from the waist up."
Well, I'm all business
from the waist up, so..
"And all pleasure
from the waist down."
[laughing]
I'm all pleasure
from the waist down.
Point at it with a pencil.
[laughing]
Am I straight, or am I gay?
- "What's today?"
- What's today, Thursday?
[laughing]
Oh!
[bell dings]
- What's your name?
- Candace.
Candace, you can have a seat.
We'll be right with you, okay?
Murr, she's pretty, huh?
The problem is, she's a little
prettier than you right now.
'So I want you to reach into
the draw to your right, there.'
There's a little compact mirror
and some lipstick.
[laughing]
[instrumental music]
(Joe)
'So I want you to reach into
the draw to your right, there.'
There's a little compact mirror
and some lipstick.
[laughing]
Quick touch-up.
- 'Where you from?'
- Born in New York.
- Raised in Texas.
- Texas?
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- Wow. That's crazy.
- Yeah.
Murr, do it sloppy, like, get it
on the corner of your lips.
Don't, don't do it like you've
done it a thousand times before.
Let me ask you something, if
I was to go anywhere in Texas
where do you think I should go?
- Austin's fun.
- Yeah?
Is it a very tolerant town?
Accepting of all different
types, cultures?
[laughing]
- Hello. How are you?
- Hi. Good.
Just have a seat.
We'll be right with you.
I'm sorry, your names?
I didn't know you name.
- Lauren.
- I'm sorry, what was your name?
- Lauren. Also Lauren. Yeah.
- Oh, it's two Lauren's?
Hey, Sal, can you call
the girl on the left up?
Um, can you just come up here
real Quick?
"Lauren, uh, you can have a
seat. It'll just be one minute."
[laughing]
You have a seat.
I'll be right with you.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
Call the friend up.
Lauren two, can you come up
one second, please?
(Murr)
'"You can have a seat.
It'll just be one minute."'
He'll be ready for you
in just a minute, Lauren.
- You have a seat.
- Okay.
"Hey, uh, hey, Lauren's."
Hey, Laurens? Laurens?
You can come on up
with your stuff.
Uh-huh. Okay.
"It'll just be a minute.
You can have a seat."
And it'll just be a minute.
You can have a seat.
(Joe)
'Ready to call
another Lauren up?'
- '"Lauren.."'
- Lauren, can I see you?
And now you want
the other Lauren.
I'm sorry. The other Lauren.
[laughing]
They'll be with you
in one moment.
Just have a seat.
[bell dings]
Hey, gentlemen, how are you?
uh, you can have a seat
right there.
(Q)
'Uh, we're gonna toss Joe
a curveball here.'
Yes, I do, right here,
quick right.
Joe, go over and sniff that
guy's seat, now that he left.
'Come on, while the other
guy's still there'
'get over there
and sniff his seat.'
Go sniff his seat.
[laughing]
[sighs]
I've been waiting, I've been
waiting till he got up.
He's doing it.
[sniffing]
- Oh!
- Oh, oh!
[laughing]
You're not done, Joe.
Ask this guy to get up,
and then smell his seat.
- Do it.
- My God!
- 'He goes, he goes, mh-mh.'
- 'Aw!'
(male narrator)
Joe can't smell victory,
and takes a loss.
That means Joe and Murr
are both big losers.
It's a first ever
double punishment.
Both Murr and Joe lost,
so their double punishment
is strip high-five.
What's strip high-five?
Oh, that's where you stand
in front
of hundreds of strangers
and the two of you
take turns getting high fives.
but for every person
that does not
high-five you, you remove
an article of clothing.
And the punishment doesn't end
till one of you is naked.
- Strip high-five!
- Strip high-five!
This sucks so bad.
Gentlemen's bet,
I have my Washington on Joe.
Murr, I got a dollar on you,
buddy.
Alright, here goes Joe.
High-five.
- Bravo!
- 'Oh!'
- 'You're up, Murr.'
- My man, high five.
(Q)
'There you go.'
Murray answers back!
Hey, hey, high five.
High five.
[laughing]
Why would you ask someone
with headphones in?
'Horrible, horrible choice,
Joe.'
(Q)
'There you go, Murr.
There's your boy.'
High five.
[laughing]
I still got you, Murr.
You're still my horse.
Heating up, heating up.
High five.
High five.
[laughing]
Oh, Joe!
He wasn't in your path.
- High five.
- 'Look at this. Look at this.'
- Aw!
- In your face!
(Sal)
'In your face!'
Whoo-hoo!
High five.
High five, buddy.
- Boom!
- Yeah!
- High five.
- 'There you go, buddy.'
- Ah.
- Aw!
- Touche!
- Murr, Murr, Murr, Murr, Murr!
- Right there. Yes!
- Right back into Joe's court.
(Q)
'Oh, they're going
sh*t for sh*t.'
High five, my man.
Aw!
[laughing]
(Sal
'Time to show us that belly,
Joe.'
[laughing]
[bleep] it sucks. Come on, man.
Murr, you have to stand
strong here if you want to win.
I'm still clothed.
Right here. High five.
- Here he goes, here he goes.
- High five.
- No way.
- No high fives. No high five.
No five.
Let them titties show, Murr.
Take it off! Take it off!
Take it off!
(Q)
'Shirts are off,
good luck either one of them'
'getting a high five now.'
Sir, high five.
[laughing]
- [bleep]
- Oh, no.
Oh, Joe, Joe, Joe.
This is a rough one.
[laughing]
Now my business
is all up out there.
You and I have constructed
the most public of humiliations.
Miss, can you high-five me?
(Sal)
'Murr might pull away
with this one.'
- Thank you.
- Oh!
Right back at ya.
That's a bounce back.
Well played, Joe.
Look at this, Murr,
look at this.
'Yeah. Here you go.'
Oh!
[laughing]
- You got psyched.
- Psych!
Oh, my God, his pants..
(Sal)
'Oh, my god, they're down
to their undies!'
'Look at this!'
My man. Now or never.
Oh, my god, oh, my god,
here it is!
- 'Down to the wire, Joe.'
- 'Oh, Joe!'
[instrumental music]
Here you go. Here it is.
Here it is, here it is,
here it is
here it is, here it is!
My man. Now or never.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my god, here it is!
High-five him, high-five him!
[bell dings]
Aah! Va-va-voom!
I can't take it,
I can't take it!
♪ I got the high five
and you can't have it ♪♪
(Sal)
'Alright, this is it.'
'It's either a high five'
'or a naked Murray.'
Ma'am, please
give me a high five.
Please, give me a high five.
- Please.
- Oh, no!
'Oh!'
[screaming]
Yes! I love you!
[laughing]
[ chanting ]
Take it off! Take it off!
Take it off! Take it off!
Take it off! Take it off!
Take it off!
[laughing]
[ applause ]
Va-voom!
Oh, my God!
[laughing]
02x05 - Strip High Five
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
This hidden-camera series follows three lifelong friends -- Brian "Q" Quinn, James "Murr" Murray and Sal Vulcano -- who take dares to an outrageous level.
This hidden-camera series follows three lifelong friends -- Brian "Q" Quinn, James "Murr" Murray and Sal Vulcano -- who take dares to an outrageous level.