04x20 - The Story of K

[bunniefuu]

Hey, how'd you make out?

Don't thank me,
but I just saved your rummage sale.

What you got?

A bunch of my old toys,
maybe some school books...

stuff I was saving for when the...

Smithsonian finally opens
its Greg Montgomery exhibit.

What's holding that up?

They just have to move
J Edgar Hoover's prom dress.

- Cool! Visible man.
- And...

visible woman.

Just goes to show you there's
somebody out there for everyone.

If you look close...

he only has one kidney...

I lost hers and he donated one
so she could live.

- That's love.
- You should probably keep these as a set.

Right, for the sake of the visible kids.

what do you think about getting
five bucks for the two of them?

Five... bucks?!

I built these. Look at the tiny veins,
I painted around the adrenal gland.

Look at the detail.

Eight bucks?

You know what, I'm gonna hang on to these.

- We should just keep looking.
- OK.

- Monopoly!
- Not just monopoly.

Monopoly in French,
we used to play it in French club.

That sounds like the place for it.

- Three bucks?
- Three!

This is monopoly in French. Instead
of Boardwalk you get Champs-Élysées.

If we had Boardwalk I could get five.

- You're not selling this for three dollars.
- Three francs?

Keep looking.

Look!

My model of the USS Missouri,
I never built this.

You were probably busy with
all your kidney transplant surgery.

- The depth charges work.
- Why don't I look in the other box?

- The anchors made of real metal.
- Nice.

Hey, Is it Ok if I sell some
of these maths books?

Yeah, but not the the calculus
intrigue, those could come in handy.

Look!

Gunnery mates.

This doesn't look that hard.

-What class was this for?
-What?

Her trembling body tensed
beneath his muscular chest.

They moved as one faster and faster.

"we must be quiet", she whispered...

her voice husky with passion.

- "My father will hear us."
-Let me see that.

You build your thing, this is mine.

"I'll be quiet", he said.
"Can you?"

he pressed his body against hers
and she cried out in ecstasy.

I didn't write this.

This looks like my mother's handwriting.

Season _Episode
The story of K

It looks like some stuff got mixed up
with Greg's toys by mistake.

Here's a photo of you, Greg and Edward
dressed up in the s clothes.

- Yes, thank you.
- This, I think is a fondue fork.

you probably have been looking
all over for that.

And there's this.

Looks like you're a world's best
mom one year, belated congratulations.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

All right.

You know I actually thought that was...

a real picture from the s.

Like a great grandmother who really
looked like you.

No, this is a little place on Fisherman's.
I don't believe it's there anymore.

- Shame.
- Yes.

All right, did I give you everything?
Did you get that notebook?

Yes I did.

Do you want to check
and make sure it's yours?

Because I did not look at it, I kind
of glanced handwriting looked like yours.

It's mine.

The little part that I glanced at...

was Intriguing.

Actually I read the whole thing,
twice.

Look!

You have stumbled upon something
of mine, that is very personal...

and I would prefer to keep it that way.

Can you respect that?

Kitty, it's good,
we should share it with the world.

All right, fine.

How much do you want to keep it quiet?

What?

To not tell anybody,
how much do you want?

You don't need to be embarrassed,
this is really good writing.

- You could be published.
- Just say a number.

I don't want your money.

I just want to tell you
how impressed I am...

that you could express
your sexuality with such...

Dharma, please...

let's not talk about this again.

OK.

Thank you.

Did you just make this stuff up?

Or is it based on some
guy you actually met in a stable?

I'll get the checkbook.

Your mother has no idea
how good a writer she is.

I hope you didn't encourage her.

- Dharma, why?
- OK, she didn't believe me.

Good.

So I'm taking her
to my mother's erotica circle.

Her what?

It's just a bunch of Abby's friends who
like to read and write erotic literature.

Dharma, why?

Why do they do it?
Or why am I taking her?

Why are you taking her? I don't even
want to think about why they do it.

Because if your mother hears
how good her writing is...

from people who aren't family,
maybe she'll believe it.

Maybe she'll write more.

Maybe we don't want that.

Obviously her writing is an outlet
for her repressed sexuality.

Your mother is a lusty volcano
just waiting to erupt.

We need to establish
some ground rules here.

We never use the words mother, lusty
and erupt in the same sentence.

I think you'd be glad your mother
has a healthy sexual appetite.

And there goes the word appetite.

I gaze with loving on my husband Ben...

but I'm glad that I can,
every now and then...

fulfill my secret longings when...

I travel in my dreams
to a world without men.

I don't think I feel really
comfortable here Dharma.

Thank you Joyce, I think
that's coming along very nicely.

All right, does anybody else
have anything to read?

Yeah.

- I do.
- Dharma!

This is a short story entitled...

The Storm.

She knew she didn't belong
in the stables at night...

but she was drawn to him
like a drowning man to air.

She entered, the warm summer breeze
teasing her robe open.

He emerged from the shadows sweeping her
into the haven of his powerful embrace.

- This isn't right.
- Hush my love.

We haven't much time, she whispered.

Somewhere in
the distance she heard dogs barking.

He turned and spread
his threadbare cloak on the damp straw.

I've never owned anything
but my heart and my soul.

And now they too are gone.

They belong to you.

Let's rock this stable.

Their bodies roiled together as one,
like the tide of the ocean rising...

and falling on the rocks.

Finally their bodies spent...

they clung to each other
knowing that when they said goodbye...

it would be forever.

- Dharma, you wrote this?
- Nope.

It's wonderful. Who?

I'm sorry but the author
prefers to remain anonymous.

I think we could share
our little secret with a few people.

Kitty, you?

Here's the bridge.

You didn't glue it did you?

Yeah, why?

Well now...

how do we get the captain inside...

OK.

Maybe he could stand on the deck.

Really Pete?
Look at him, he's sitting.

he could sit with this guy
and work the g*n.

The captain doesn't use the g*n.

This one does and that's
why all the guys like him.

It's great Kitty, congratulations.

I know. OK, we'll see you tonight.

Ok great, bye.

- Honey, I have the best news.
- What?

You know what, never mind.

OK, a friend of Abby's is publishing
a collection of women's erotica...

and if your mom expands her story
to words they're gonna put it in.

That's just great.

Now, I don't have all
your fancy book learning.

But... erotica...

that would be the rye ball tales
of the pleasures of the flesh, right?

Look what you did?

- Greg's a little embarrassed about this.
- Just a little?

Honey, I think you're looking
at this the wrong way.

Your mom's not just writing dirty stories.

She's getting positive reinforcement
for her fantasies.

And that is going to help
every aspect of her sexual life.

Thank you that's a much
better way to do it.

I think so.

It isn't so important
where the captain sits now, is it?

No, it's not.

He could sit on his bunk
and read some of your mom's stories.

Promise me we can get through dinner...

without talking
about my mother's writing...

no talk about lust, no talk about sex.

Can I say the chicken breast is juicy?

Only if we're having chicken.

- Hi Celia.
- Hi.

- Where are my folks?
- Upstairs.

Could you tell them
that we're here for dinner?

I don't think it's a good time.

It's been like this all day.

They've been up in the bedroom all day?

In the bedroom,
in the pool house, in the jacuzzi.

Dhrama,
maybe we should go.

No, they'll be down soon.

All they've got to eat is whipped cream
and marachino cherries.

I told him he shouldn't try to carry her.

Look at that! Pete put the decal
on the hull and it's not painted...

it's just, it's ruined.

Talking about ruins, do you want
to hear your mom's new story?

More than anything
in the whole wide world.

They kissed,
they kissed a second time.

It was time for sex.

She knew what he wanted...

he knew what she wanted
so the sex was pretty good.

- I can't turn this in.
- Good, don't, end the story.

I can't let Kitty know
how bad this is either.

She's been making such great progress.

I know what I should do.
I'm kind of like her editor.

I'll just punch it up a little bit,
throw in a couple pairs of hungry lips...

some creamy white thighs.

You're gonna do that out loud?

I just don't know what happened,
there is none of your mother in here.

Where are the heaving bosoms?

Where are the clenched buttocks?

Mine are clenched up
pretty good right now.

You know, you can't get the stickers off.
I had to get a whole new boat.

I said I was sorry.

- Hi fellas.
- Hi dad.

Sorry I'm late, I had a little trouble
getting out of the house.

What's going on?

I'd rather not say...

but it's in the area of trying to keep
your mother satisfied sexually.

There goes the word satisfied.

In a little horizontal overtime,
right Mr Ed?

She's got this new thing,
where she tells you what she likes.

Then she talks you through it
like some air traffic controller.

Can we please stop talking about this?

I'm sorry, son.

I told her I was an old man,
she doesn't seem to care.

I know what you're going through.

When I was in high school I had a friend
who had kind of a hot Mom.

She was divorced and liked my ties.

We had a couple fun days together
and then I couldn't shake her.

She started picking me up after school.

She'd be in the stands at football games.

It started affecting my grades.

What did you do?

I gave a guy at the emergency room
bucks for some x-rays and a neck brace.

I don't think kitty involved with that.

How about this one?

You know a cheap watch
to turn your wrist screen.

I'll be in the pro shop.

How's the green wrist gonna slow her?

Will you read this and tell me
what you think honestly?

Why don't you believe me
when I say that...

I don't want to read
my mother's dirty stories.

It's OK, it's two percent mom,
Dharma.

Come on, I need your feedback.

Hello.

My lady.

You must be Trevor,
the new stable boy...

my husband hired to look after the estate.

Now that he's been called off to w*r...

the w*r from which he may never return.

And you must be Samantha,
the lady of the house...

I've been warned against befriending
by your husband...

who has gone off to a w*r,
he may never return from.

You're feared of my husband?

I'm a feared of no man.

A feared?

Yeah, it's colourful.
It's how people spoke in the olden days.

Keep a reading.

I'm a feared of no man.

I am loath to admit it
as I who I'm a fear.

She trembled in his arms.

Perhaps my lady you would take comfort
in a simple flagon of a working man's ale.

If he's holding her in both arms,
how is he handing her a flag in a veil?

If you don't want to read it,
don't read it, OK?

- A flagon.
- Yes.

That's what ale came in, not six packs.

Flagons, it's called research.

Get the flag, I want to know
what you think about the writing.

No, you don't.

OK, you're just a lawyer,
I don't even know why I asked you.

Angrily, she stormed
into the stormy night.

And gave her husband the finger.

I don't understand.

I know this last story
wasn't my best writing, but...

from this rejection notice one would...

think that it was unreadable.

"There are fear to publish it",
what does that mean?

Forget that.
This new story is hot.

It's a real bosom heaver.

Yes, it is good, isn't it?

What's the matter?

You know why it is good?

For me...

it's when the bankrupt heiress
sells her body to the lusty g*n runner.

It's good because Edward
wrenched his neck playing golf.

What does that have to do with...?

So he hasn't been able to...

and that's why you're able to...

And before when you were...

you couldn't...

what a drag? You think you'd be
able to have your beefcake and eat it too.

Really?

I wonder I couldn't write.

You are writing?
Dabbling.

Hey honey.

I know I've been a little insensitive
about your feelings lately, I'm sorry.

I was wrong to force
your mother's sexuality on you...

and you weren't ready for it.

Thank you.

And, it's just a hunch, but I think
she's gonna give up the writing.

Good.
Yeah.

Especially now that your dad
can't have sex with the neck brace on...

if she's on top.

I'm sorry, I'm forcing again. Sorry.

Permission to come aboard, captain.

It's been a while, hasn't it?
Certainly.

Hold that.

Ahoy.

Hey Kitty, calm down.

Calm down kitty.

OK, hang on.

There's something wrong
with your father.

Kitty called an ambulance
and he won't get in it.

Mother what's wrong?

Calm down and tell me what's going on.

OK, it's not permanently green mother.

Put Dad on.

What's green?
My father's penis and it's your fault.

Kitty, this isn't half bad.

Thank you.

This isn't right.
Hush my love.

We haven't much time.

Hey that's a pretty spirited filler
you got there Edward.

Whatever happened to that Mr Ed program?
That was a cute show.

Give me that.