Of an Age (2022)

[bunniefuu]

Hello?

Ebony?

Ebony's not home.

Ebony's in Bali.

Who is this?

Nikola.

Kol?

Kol Dennick?

Denic.

You've grown up.

You all right, love?

Bit of a suss hour
to be calling.

I know.

I was just thinking about her.

Oh, darl, I-I...

Uh, I wasn't thinking about her.
It's...

I'm sorry.

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

f*ck.

f*ck.

Oh. Excuse me!

Excuse me! Hi. Hi.

Sorry. So sorry to bother you.

Um, do you have 40 cents?

-Do you have 40 cents?
-Okay.

Just 40 cents?

-Thank you so much.
-No worries.

Thank you. Thank you!

Okay. Okay.

f*ck.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it's star time
at the Apollo Theater.

Everybody, the hardest-working
man in show business.

It's your girlfriend.

Don't take five hours.
I'm downloading.

- What? What is it?
- What the f*ck, Kol?

I've been redialing for yonks.

It's 'cause of the dial-up.
Ivo's been logged in.

What is it? Where are you?

Please don't yell at me.

Why would I yell at you?

Ebony, where are you?

I don't know.

What do you mean,
you don't know?

We were going to the beach,
to this guy's dad's boat,

and-and this guy,

he was gonna get the boat,
and, um, Tari had some speed,

but I-I only took, like,
the teensiest, tiniest, like...

like not even a full line,
like a half...

like a half line, like a hyphen.
I was fine.

I remember I was, like, chill,
and he was gonna

go get the boat,
this guy from Saint Basil.

Guy from where?

-I f*cking swear...
-I can't hear you.

Saint Basil. Saint Basil.

His dad had a boat.
Listen, please.

And he was a bit...
a bit grabby, baby,

but not, like, sleaze-o, so...

so I was like,
"Yeah, okay," like...

Like, I mean, I was practically
a nun through schoolies,

and Wansajah and Tari
were complete sluts...

I understand literally nothing

of what you're saying to me.

I know. I know. I just...

I don't want you to think
he was this total rando.

And, yeah, okay,
he was a bit older,

but he wasn't, like, old.

Like, he was... he was
on his P's, so it's just...

we couldn't find his dad's boat,

and we were at the beach,
and then, um...

and then I don't remember.

Ebony, you are not cohesing.
I don't know what to do.

Tell me what you want me to do.

I know. I know. I just...

My bag's gone and... my shoes.

One of them's gone, too.

And...

Kol, my dress
for the Civic Centre,

it's at Tari's, it's at Tari's.

You have to come get me, Kol.
You have to come get me.

I have to come get you?

I have to be
at the Civic Centre.

In less than like two hours,
like you do.

Oh, my God, Kol,
are you even, like, listening?

I don't know where I am.

You have to go to Tari's,

you have to get my dress, and
then you have to come get me.

Like, do you understand?
There's no time.

We'll have to drive
straight there.

Straight there.

How am I gonna come get you?!

I don't know!
Like, your mum and stuff.

Get her to give us a lift.

My mum's just come home
from a night shift.

She won't want to drive to...

Wait.

Where in Christ's hell
even are you?

-What's the name of the beach?
-I need the Internet!

- What?
- Isn't there a sign?

What's the name of the beach?

There's a street sign.
There's a street sign.

Get the Melway's.
There's a street sign.

-I'm on Allenby Street.
-Ellenby?

Allenby, you idiot! Hurry up!

Allenby Street.
Allenby Street. A-L-L.

Oh, my God, Kol,
I'm, like, so cold.

There's an Allenby Street in
Reservoir, one in Canterbury,

one in Altona, one in Coburg.

Which one?

Which one has a beach?

Maybe Altona?

But that's like ages away.

Yeah, well, it must be
one of the others, then.

So ask someone.

There's no one around.
And stop yelling at me.

There must be someone.

Just hang on a second!

f*cking hell.

Okay. Don't hang up, okay?

Altona. I'm in Altona.

Kol, are you there?

I'm in Altona. Come get me.

Hello!

f*cking come how, Ebony?

Stop yelling at me!

I think we need
to call your mum.

-Altona's an hour away.
-Don't you dare.

Don't you bloody dare,
Kol Denic.

Don't you dare, Kol Denic,
I swear to God!

Ebony, it's seven f*cking
thirty-five a.m.

I need to dress.
You need to dress.

Look, we'll think
of something to say.

You call my mum, I'm never
f*cking dancing ever again.

Not today at the Civic Centre,
not anywhere ever!

-I don't see how else we make
it. -Don't you dare, Kol Denic.

-What? -I don't see how else
we make it, Ebony!

Okay, who do you know?
Who do you know?

You're not being very helpful.
Who do you know?

I don't know anyone else's
number by heart.

This is not happening.
This is not happening.

There's got to be someone
with a car.

If they have a car,
they probably have a life.

Duh!

assh*le.

Oh, hang on. Hang on.

I know someone who doesn't.

Who?

-You still there?
-Shh!

Can you please
let me concentrate?

Okay. Okay.

Here's what you're gonna do.

Listening?

Tari!

She's asleep!

You're Tari's sister, yeah?

Yeah, Romeo. She's asleep.

Here, take it. You talk.

- Hello?
- Hi.

Um, is Adam home?

-Yeah, just one sec.
-Thank you.

See, what was so hard about it?

Their mum knows my voice.

- She has to think it'd be
someone else. - Hello?

-Hey, um, Adam, yeah?
-Yeah.

-Um, it's, uh, Jaya.
-Who?

Uh, apparently, we went to,
uh, Watsonia High together.

Um, I don't really know
what's, like, going on,

but apparently there's
something up with your sister,

and, um, well, this gay kid
just rocked up at my house,

and I'll just give it to him

so he can explain it
to you better.

I'm not actually gay, actually.

Anyway, I don't know what
that has to do with anything.

-Uh, hi. Uh, Adam?
-Hi.

Uh, it's Nikola here.
It's Kol here.

Um, we kind of sort of met

at Ebony's Macbeth thing,
kind of.

Anyway, just say nothing
to your mum, okay?

Just act like everything's
super chill.

But your sister and me,
we're in deep sh*t.

Where am I going?
Where am I going?

I don't know where I'm going.

-Which room?
-It's that one.

Hey, hey, hey.

- Tari. Tari, Tari.
- Oh, my God.

Tari.

- sh*t.
- Dude.

Is that Ebony's? That-that...

That's Ebony's. sh*t.

Dude.

Hey.

Relax, dude.

Where's the dress?

-The dress!
-I don't know, man. Just chill.

-Burgundy.
-Just take a moment.

-With fringes.
-It's fine.

Do you see any burgundy
with fringes?

-sh*t.
-No, I don't.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

Okay, okay. Okay, okay.

Mm, we never saw him
with anyone.

He got voted the most likely
to b*mb the school.

Mm.

That's a category you voted on?
Of course it is.

But like three of my friends
tried to f*ck him.

I tried to f*ck him, too.

Watsonia High, man.

Slim bloody pickings.

That's all I can say.

Adam? Adam.

Thank you, Jaya.
Jaya, thank you, okay?

-Just chill, man.
-I owe you, like, my firstborn.

Thanks so much. Thank you.

Hi. I'm Kol.

You're literally saving my life.

So, where... where am I going?

Um, go... go left on
Grimshaw, and then-then I'll...

I'm not sure if maybe...

Uh, maybe...

I'm not sure if this is
the way to...

Um...

-What? What is it?
-I can't... I can't tell...

It's-it's just...
I-I can't tell if...

I can't tell if maybe this...

Is this Grimshaw?

It's just, I'm-I'm...
I don't think this is the...

What? What is it? Spit it out.

What's the way to get to Altona

and then... and then back
to the Civic Centre

by-by 9:00... 8:45?

Uh, 9:00. 9:00 is fine.

I would say by helicopter.

Maybe there's
a different road, though.

-There's quite a few
different... -In one hour?

Unless we are literally flying,
we're gonna be lucky to make it

to Altona at all,
much less there and back.

-There's quite a few
different roads. -If I was you,

I would reschedule
your emergency dance lesson.

It's not a lesson.
It's the f*cking finals.

It's the finals.

-What are you doing?
-Stop-stop the... stop the...

What the f*ck?

I'm sorry.

Sorry, mate, it's not...

It's not you...

...entirely.

It's just...

a bit of a weird day for me.

-It's okay.
-Hmm?

It's nice music.

It's Argentinian?

Yeah, some of it.

It's from a... from a movie.

When are you flying?

Tomorrow.

At 1:00.

That's right.

Ebony mentioned.

Yeah.

There's always next year, right?

Like, next year's finals?

Your sister's applied
to all these unis in Sydney.

She won't be here.

What, NIDA?

Ebony get into NIDA?

Did we see the same play?

Ebony's gonna get into NIDA,
y-you think?

"Out, damn spot. Out."

That's mean.

Yeah, but, I mean,
if that's your main obstacle--

right?-- Ebony getting into

the National Dramatic Institute
of Cate Blanchetts...

...hold on to your leotard.

It's tobacco.

What else would it be?

-I-I mean, I don't smoke.
-Mm.

Sorry.

I know what else it would be.

But you're a good boy.

That's okay.

Being a good boy.
Good boys make it out.

The book I'm reading,
actually...

Hmm?

It's by an Argentinian.

"Bor-geez."

Borges?

-What?
-Yeah.

You go to school with my sister,
and you're reading Borges?

-I went to school with
your sister. -Ah, right. Went.

-We finished.
-Been hours now, hey.

You're graduates.

Are you jaded yet?

- You're jaded.
- Shut up.

Borges, though?

You're like 11.

I'm 18 in like three weeks.

assh*le.

Three weeks.

What's that?
That's New Year's...

-New Year's Eve?
-New Year's Day.

New Year's Day. Hello.

-Apocalypse day.
-Uh-huh.

Mm. Better not be standing
next to a computer.

I'll be standing
next to a Malbec.

What about you?

Next to three drunk uncles,
probably.

-In Sarajevo.
-Jesus.

-For real?
-My cousin's getting married.

We haven't been back
since we left, so...

You're not, like, scared
you might die?

I guess.

I might slit my veins
from boredom.

You've got a flair
for the dramatic, don't you?

Is this actually
a dance costume, or is this

just what a trip to the servo
looks like for you?

Shut up.

-What's the movie?
-Hmm?

The movie.

Oh, it's from, uh,
Happy Together.

I haven't seen it.

Yeah, well, technically,
I wouldn't have

expected you to have.

But then here you are,

reading Borges and...

...holidaying in Bosnia.

Sporting some serious cleavage.

So...

I'm out.

I am out.

Is it any good?

The movie.

It made me want to move
to Buenos Aires.

I'll check it out.

I like movies from countries
I haven't visited.

So, was it the w*r
that brought you guys here?

-Mm-hmm.
-Yeah?

The w*r.

We don't have no bread.

We don't have no water.

Tears we have only to drink.

Tears.

- Was that a Dracula impression?
- f*ck you.

Dickhead.

Okay, so it wasn't
the w*r, then.

We moved in '91.

Oh.

My dad was an engineer.

So, what's he doing now?
Is he driving taxis?

No. Now he's dead.

f*ck.

Yeah. Well...

I'm really sorry.

Oh, it's-it's, like, so fine.

I swear.

Yeah.

It's been like five years. More.

I'm just waiting
for my uncle to die now.

We live in his house.

-Is he sick?
-No.

Just...

psycho.

So, would be good
to get rid of him.

Huh?

You want me
to k*ll someone in return?

Strangers on a Train.

It's also a good movie.

You're one f*cked-up unit,
aren't you?

Just a little.

I approve.

I think.

Was it really the movie
that made you want to move?

You know I do actually
have a postgrad

in linguistics, right?

-Oh.
-And a major in Spanish.

You went
to Melbourne Uni, yeah?

Yeah.

Does that mean you were
a good boy yourself?

-In high school?
-Uh...

I don't know that
that quite describes me.

Jaya said you were, like,
this lone wolf t*rror1st.

Yeah, it probably had
something to do with the fact

that I, uh, never made
eye contact with humans.

Or the trouble I had

sort of arranging my face

into expressions
that were considered warm.

Or friendly.

Just non-murderous, really.

Or, for that matter,
just connected to things

I actually felt.

I can at least look forward
to uni, right?

Compared to high school.

Compared to Bogan High, yeah,

you can look forward
to a kidney stone.

I put down Melbourne Uni
as my first preference.

Behavioral science.

Yeah, you'll be fine.
You're obviously a smart kid.

I used to be a smart kid.

When you get to uni, suddenly
everyone's a f*cking smart kid.

Why'd you choose Spanish?

Honest truth?

South Americans.

They're just hotter.

-Yeah?
-Mm.

Oh, yeah.

Totally, like what's-her-name.

Gisele.

Mm.

Do you have something else?

Hmm? Yeah, there should be
some stuff back there.

Should be a whole box.

What's all this?

Just all my ex's stuff.

Wound up at my place by mistake.

-Your ex was French?
-Macedonian.

And she liked French music?

Look, you got a bakery.

That's not my spelling.

I'm K-O-L.

Ebony helped me come up
with it, actually.

Oh. Romantic.

K-O-L.

Kol.

Wow. Josef K.

Moved up in life.

Opened a meatworks.

Kafka?

You read Kafka?

What the f*ck am I saying?
Of course you read Kafka.

What, did you read The Castle?

The Trial.

Oh.

-Did you like it?
-Yeah.

-Yeah?
-I got a lot out of it.

- Favorite book.
- Great Expectations.

-Yours?
-Under the Volcano.

I haven't read it.

I'm stunned.

I was expecting an essay.

Boom. The Esplanade.

"Boom. The Esplanade."

Shut up.
Just drive along the beach

and look for an Allenby Street.

And a phone booth.

Did you promise Jaya
your firstborn,

K-O-L Kol?

-Just K-O-L.
-What do I get?

-The next five.
-Wow.

Better get busy.

Stop reading all those books.

You'll have no trouble
with that outfit on.

You'll start pumping them out.

I'll get right to it.

I hope so.

-Allenby. Allenby.
-Allenby.

-Allenby, Allenby.
-Shut up.

Phone booth.

Is that... Oh, my gosh.

Hey!

-Wake up, princess!
-She's dead.

Look at her.

Your Macedonian ex
is gonna k*ll me.

Oh, chill.

He won't.

Took you bloody long enough.

Yeah, you're f*cking
welcome, you dero.

I'll take this.

Give us some aircon.

Should've dialed Mum
if you wanted aircon.

Going a different route back.
Just keep an eye.

Yeah, cool. No problem, bro.

Yeah?

Yeah, too easy.
Sweet. Let's do it.

-Yeah, man.
-Just...

Kororoit Creek.

Geelong Road, Dynon.

Mad as. Done.

Cheers, bro.

f*ck this.

Can we get
a burger or something?

I'm f*cking starving.

So, Kol, you got a girlfriend?

No.

You like my sister-- is that it?

- Ew.
- Ew. No.

I mean, like,
she's hot as-- duh--

but... but we're more like
really good friends.

Yeah, yeah,
I'm, uh... I'm not his type.

Who's your type?

I don't know.

Someone who reads a book.

Someone who's read Borges?

What?

I'll accept Kafka.

Oh, my God,

of course you dudes
love each other,

you f*cking nerdoids.

- Hey, Eb?
- What?

You want to try to swing
past the Civic Centre?

They'd be ready to announce
the winners right about now.

We could go peek in.

Just... clap.

Oh, my f*cking God, Nikola.

You're such
a bloody drama queen.

Like, we missed one pissy
g*ybo dance competition.

Like, so the hell what?
So the hell what?

Like, who the hell cares?
What are you gonna do now?

Like, cr*ck the shits? God.

Like, there's more important
things in life.

Like, I think you should
probably be a bit more mature

and, like, grow up, maybe.

That is not Lady Macbeth

calling the kettle
a drama queen, Nikola.

Are you f*cking dead set?

Suck my d*ck, h*m*.

Oof! Oof!

Watch out, NIDA.

Oh, my God, unsex me,

like, here, you g*ybo spirits.

- f*ck off, Adam.
- And fill me,

like, from the crown
full-on to the toe.

Seriously.

Adam, I'm serious. Cut it out.

Top-full of the, like,
I'm thinking,

what's your direst cruelty?

She did so well, huh?

You did so well
in that role, Ebony.

I'm so proud of you.

Oh, my God, out, you f*g spot!

Out! Get, like, off of me!

What?

Ebony!

Are you for real?

Eb!

Where are you even going?

Eb!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

No, you're not.

-You guys were right.
-I'm sorry.

You're a grouse actress.

Everyone says so.

-No, they don't.
-Yeah, they do.

You're, like,
the next Nicole Kidman.

She's f*cking trash!

All right, I know.
She's trash. She's trash.

You're-you're the next
Cate Blanchett, Eb.

-I didn't get in.
-Of course you'll get in.

No, you're not listening.

I got the letter yesterday.

I didn't get in.

Well, f*ck NIDA.

f*ck 'em!

They're c**ts,
and they're wrong.

They're wrong.

f*ck Cate Blanchett, too.

You're way better.

I love you.

Idiot.

Come back to the car.

f*cking car.

f*cking Adam.
He's just f*cking...

...like, so nervous,
so me and Kol thought

we'd have like one drink,

just, like,
ease the nerves and stuff.

And then, like, Mum, seriously,
I don't even know

what happened after that.

Like, we literally fell asleep,
and we slept in this morning.

Like, I know, I know. It's...

Oh, my God!

Yeah, well, you never
f*cking believe me anyway,

so, like, I don't know...
I don't know why

I expected different from you.
Oh, my God.

Yeah, we had drinks
'cause we were so nervous.

Because it's the finals.

Yeah, and then we slept in,
and, like,

I don't even know
what happened after that.

Like, literally, oh, my God,
Mum, when we woke up,

we, like, freaked out. I swear.

Wait!

Wait, you're actually insane.

Like, you're actually insane,
and I can't f*cking stand it.

Yeah, I'm not...
No, not engaging.

Not engaging.

How'd Fay take it?

Just drive.

51.

When did Greensborough
get so full of wogs?

-Jesus.
-I know, right?

Actually, um, you should

call your mum
about the Civic Centre.

Oh, she wasn't coming today.

It's a shame she doesn't,
like, support you.

She works three jobs.

We're a planet away
from the people she loves.

I'd call that supporting me.

53.

-Sorry.
-See ya.

49. 49.

Donegal.

Adam Donegal.

Mate.

You don't recognize me?

Travis Mellor.

Where have you been hiding?

What?

Who, me?

I meant your brother.

But hi. I'm Mellor.

Hi. I'm Ebony.

Didn't recognize you.

No sh*t. I've been working out.

Oh, okay.

I don't think that's why.

Are you coming later?

- Coming where?
- Boon-Dog's 21st.

Boon-Dog?

What's a Boon-Dog?

"What's a Boon-Dog?" This guy.

School together for six years,
and now he's all like--

- I don't know. Too good for us?
- Yeah.

Yeah, don't think any of us
want to remember Watsonia High.

- f*cking oath.
- Mm.

Hey, you might know
Boon-Dog's sister.

- I mean fiancée.
- Oh.

-Coral. Yeah.
-Coral Birch?

-It's at their house, the party.
-Oh.

- Hey, you should come.
- Oh, mad as.

We should. We should!

She's, like, right up the road
from Tari's,

behind the, um, Video Ezy, yeah?

-Yeah, behind the Video Ezy.
-Yeah. Yeah.

- Oh, my God, we should.
- Yeah.

Um, is it, like, themed or...

- It's bring your own STD.
- Uh...

Yeah, yeah, nah, nah.

I don't know, not a very
creative bunch, um...

- Hmm?
- I don't know.

You should just wear
what you're wearing.

Oh. Yeah, sick as.

-Yeah. -Right,
so we'll see you tonight.

In the house. Righto.

Catch you later, Donegal.

-Catch youse then.
-See ya.

Bye.

Sick as, bro.

In the house.

Coral Birch is
a f*cking mole, but...

we're going to that party.

No, you're not.

Excuse me. I was invited.

Yeah, well, I'm not.

Well, I'm not.

My name's Adam, and I'm a loser.

I love you.

Come on.

Go.

Oh. Hi.

Fay. Hi.

How are you?

Dining room. Now.

Good to see you.

Do you understand what it takes?

-All of this?
-Shh.

Do you understand what it takes?

I don't understand
what I've done.

I do not understand
what I've done.

Nights out with boys
is the story.

I was...
I was not out with boys.

I was with Kol. Kol is not boys.

Do you know
what I have to go through

-to contribute to this house?
-What about what I contribute

to this household?
What about that?

You're actually
so disrespectful.

I turn up at the Civic Centre,

and they say you're not there.

What am I...
what am I meant to think?

I was with Kol!

Oh, my God, okay,
you're really pissing me off.

-All night? -Like,
I'm actually about to lose it,

so, like, can you stop, like,
hovering around me,

- and maybe you just take a big
step back. - Excuse me.

-I can't believe that.
-And then you just go on.

That's not the case.

- Oh, my God!
- Look, it's not.

-So I'm grounded?
-Surely that's your obligation.

The money I spent
on those dancing classes!

That wasn't my fault!
That was not my fault.

Hey.

Hey.

Oh, sorry.

I think my sister
wants her room back.

-sh*t.
-That's okay.

-I'm so sorry.
-We're all good.

You hungry?

What time is it?

It's dinnertime.

Think you're gonna need
another shirt, though.

Wha...

What's going on?

Uh, it's my going-away dinner.

Come on.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I'm okay.

You can wear this and this.

♪ But I still can't believe... ♪

Who's this?

Tori Amos.

Is she one of those gay divas?

No. She fucks men.

No, I mean...

like, you know, Madonna

or, like,
Barbra Streisand or whatever.

Tori Amos is definitely not
Barbra Streisand.

Okay. Sorry.

No, it's okay.

Hey, just so you know...

...I'm open-minded.

Like, it's totally okay.

To be gay, you know.

What?

No, nothing.

Is it on Napster?

What's the album?

It's not an album.
It's a B side.

Cool.

Here.

T-shirts I was gonna throw out.

Thanks.

Come on.

23. Just up ahead.

When did you drop off the tapes?

When you were...
sleeping, beauty.

Just, you can keep it.

Goran's not gonna miss it.

He, uh...

He was a Goran?

Ugh.

He was a...

He was an architect.

But, yeah, he was a Goran.

It's my cousin's name.

Really?

Is he Maco?

Serbian.

Right.

I'm three things.

Serbian, Bosnian, Yugoslav.

Yugoslav?

How does that even work?

Think I'm gonna lay out
my political vicissitudes

in like 45 seconds?

Vicissitudes!

Vicissitudes.

Do you look up the big words
in the dictionary

and then you practice saying
them in front of the mirror?

- No.
- Yeah, you do.

You do, don't you?

Vicissitudes.

All right.

Mr. Nikola Denic.

It's been fascinating.

Been a pleasure.

You maybe have, like,
email or something?

Mm.

It's, uh...

"why can't Adam read"
at Hotmail.

I'll get, um, Ebony
to pass it on.

I doubt there's gonna be
any dial-up

where I'm living, though.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Well...

It was really nice to...

...meet you.

I guess.

I know.

Not "I guess."

Yeah.

And, uh...

have a safe and...

you know, cool PhD.

And, uh, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Bye.

Long story.

It's Ebony.

What? What now?

Thank f*ck.
I said you'd be in bed.

I'm at Coral's. Come.

-What?
-Get off.

What?

-Aren't you grounded?
-I snuck out, you dildo.

What are they gonna do,
ground me some more?

See you in a bit.

Coral.

Someone's spewed
on your doormat.

Coral, hi.

Uh, hi.

I guess.

Nikola.
I was with you in home ec.

Friends with Ebony.

She's around, yeah? Eb?

Oi, you dingbat!

-Took you bloody long enough.
-What?

Oh, my God, Tari thinks she saw

this cute guy
somewhere in this bit,

so I was, like, looking for him.

Here I am.

What? No. This, like, white guy.

-Mm-hmm, here I am.
-What? No.

I meant, like, Aussie.

Oh, so not, like, Nicaraguan.

Let's look for him
together, Kolly.

How'd you sneak out?

Adam covered for me.

Please, bogans. Thank you.

I swear, this guy that Tari saw,
if it's the guy I think it is,

it's gonna make up for,
like, the year.

-Hey, actually, I think
I'm gonna bail. -f*cking hell.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God,
it's him, it's him, it's him.

Who are we talking about?

Oh, my God,
I'm so nervous! Oh, my God.

- Hey.
- Hey, Eb.

This is Brayden.

Hi.

Hi. I'm Ebony.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

Got you a milk and Baileys.

Oh, my God.

I think we saw you
at, uh, Samara's?

Oh, yeah, yeah. At muck-up week.

I didn't know what was going on.

Is that a Tamagotchi?

- Have you k*lled it?
- Right. Yeah.

She was, like,
the worst thing ever.

- She was, like, f*cking feral.
- Oh, my God.

Hey.

Man of the moment.

- Come here.
- Oh, my God.

- Come here.
- No way.

You came!

I need to give you a big hug.

- Here.
- Hi!

Oh, my gosh,
you haven't given me a hug.

Come on.

Oh, I reckon...
I reckon I'm gonna give you

a long-distance hug.

That's what I'm gonna do.
Like this.

I didn't know
you two were friends.

Oh, yeah, this w*nk*r's
pretending like we're not.

But, like, we were pretty much
like boyfriend-girlfriend.

- No.
- Your bloody girlfriend.

You're just playing with me.
I know it.

I know that's what you're doing.

Yeah, I don't know
what you're talking about.

Oh! What's... Okay. All right.

Oh, my God.

Dig the T-shirt. Looks good.

Do you know what I need to see?

-Hmm?
-I need to see this boy stoned.

- Nah.
- I need to see it!

I need to see it.

Oh, my God, Loredana, get
your fat ass off of that couch

and go get this boy a bong!

Quick, quick, quick, quick!
This is serious!

Don't f*cking
touch me with your spastic

- f*cking shoes.
- Oh, my-- Okay.

- How you doing?
- Don't hit me, Adam.

- f*cking hell.
- It's okay.

He's just... he's...

Why are you in here?

- Hey! There we go!
- Very good. Very good.

Nicely done.

Yeah, well,
it's good for mental health

because what it does,
it relaxes you.

-It's true.
-What do I do?

- Oh, my God, no way.
- "What do I do?"

"What do I do?"

You're the best.

- Is he?
- Yeah, the best.

-The best?
-He's so cute!

I think this'll be
perfect for him,

for his mental health,
for his clarity,

- for his well-being.
- He wants to know.

- Let's do it. Let's do it, baby.
- Go, Kol.

- All right, inhale.
- Go, Kolly.

I don't think he's ever
actually kissed a girl.

Yeah. Never.

Yowza!

Oh!

You good?

Yeah, that's a bit dramatic.

- It's not working.
- It's not working?

Excuse me,
the weed isn't working?

How's that Coral,
don't you reckon?

- Who's that?
- Oh, haven't you met Coral?

Oh, she's, like,
this massive bitch,

but she's actually kind of nice.

-Oh, okay. Oh, yeah.
-Actually, yeah, yeah.

-I reckon you'd like her, yeah.
-I don't know if I would.

She sounds like a bitch.

Spaz.

Sorry.

Coral.

Sorry.

I-Is, um...

Is Adam here?

Are you sh1tting me?

It's-it's Ebony's brother.

Get the f*ck out of my house.

Yeah, you tell him.

Back to f*cking
"Czecho-souvlaki-a."

The f*ck you staring at, babe?

You want me to get my fiancé?

He'd love to smash your face.

f*cking h*m*.

Hey.

I swear, I leave you alone
for like five seconds.

What are you doing?

Jump in.

I went to take a leak,
and you were gone.

-You all right?
-Yeah.

It was a grouse party, eh?

What, are you kidding?

I-I wouldn't know.

I guess.

23.

Where's Ebony?

I imagine not asking herself
where you are.

You promise me one thing?

That my sister, can you just...
just cut her.

First chance you get.

I'm not being a d*ck.

Yeah?

You deserve better friends.

Guy like you, much better.

I love Ebony.

Not, like, love-love, obviously.

Just, like a friend, I mean.

f*cking hell.

I-I know she can be,
like, a mess, but...

...deep down...

I think she brought me
out here tonight

to-to say that she's sorry.

She brought you out tonight
'cause I told her to call you.

I don't really have any other...

N-Not... not many other friends.

Don't tell her I said that.

S-Sorry.

You probably just
want to get to bed.

Actually, I was gonna
go for a drive.

Can I come?

Your sister never told me.

About you.

About me what?

That I'm a linguist?

No, that you're...

You know.

A sodomite?

Were you, like, openly...

In high school?

What, at Watsonia High?

Are you f*cking kidding?

Why? Did you have an openly
gay guy the last couple years?

No.

Everyone was straight, then.

What's that--
it'd be 900 students.

All upstanding heterosexuals?

Every last one?

I lied before.

About Kafka.

I did read The Trial, but...

I could barely follow it.

What about Borges?

I'm trying.

I don't really know what's
going on most of the time.

What about the Balkans?

Was your mum
actually born in Altona?

The Balkan part was true.

Alas.

There anything else?

That you've maybe
been lying about?

Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's okay. It's okay.

I'm okay.

-Hmm?
-I can come again.

You will.

You turned up for me.

How long does a PhD take?

Sorry.

It's a dumb question.

No, it's not a dumb question.

At all.

Can I walk you to your door?

It's...

It's my uncle and stuff.

It's okay.
You don't need to explain.

It's fine.

Oh, sh*t.

Promise me you'll meet someone.

Yeah?

You beautiful boy.

Easy.

What are the odds, eh?

We'd both be arriving right now?

A few weeks ago,
I would've said low.

But in the middle of this
Icelandic volcano apocalypse,

I'd say pretty high.

How many times
your flight get canceled?

Twice. What about you?

They had me on a 22-hour,

then a 26-hour,

then finally a 42-hour.

-So you were lucky.
-Mm-hmm.

-Yeah. Mm-hmm.
-Yeah.

-I smell like it, too.
-Yeah, I noticed.

Oh, God.

Melbourne, eh?

You don't miss it?

No.

But it's home, alas.

I remember growing up,

I was convinced
I'd travel the world.

Have all these adventures.

Just meet these
mind-blowing people.

Connect.

f*ck. Sorry.

What?

What's it been,
four minutes since we sat down?

Already, Nikola's gone
all wanks-istential.

Yeah, but that's
what's great about you.

No, it's good.
It's good it hasn't changed.

Everything else has.

I'm a bitter old man these days.

Shut up.

A twink called me gay-fat
on Saturday.

What the f*ck?

Gay-fat?

Apparently.

Mm.

You know, I wasn't gonna
say anything, but...

I was kind of thinking
the same thing

when I saw you at baggage claim.

Change the subject,
m*therf*cker.

Tell me about you.

Still in Buenos Aires?

All I know is you're
one of those übercool people

who doesn't have a Facebook
or Twitter or anything.

No, I'm in Guatemala.

-Of course you are.
-Yeah.

With an aid organization.

The volcano canceled flights
from Guatemala?

No, I flew in from Switzerland.

Yeah. I was up there
for a conference.

Fancy.

They put us up in
a $3,000-a-night ski resort

so we could discuss ways
on how to fix poor people.

Did you fix them?

Yeah. Yeah, all fixed.

-Sure.
-Yep.

So you've been feeling filthy
since the flight.

I've been feeling filthy
since Switzerland, so...

What about you? What are you
doing for pocket money?

Public health research.

At Bristol Uni.

England.

Mm-hmm.

What?

How are you still friends
with my sister?

Oh.

I'm basically not.

Don't think we've
properly spoken in five,

maybe six years.

But you flew 37 hours...

through volcanic ash for Ebony.

Well...

there's people here I haven't
seen in ages, you know.

It was a good chance.

So, where are you staying?
Your mum's?

She's in Bendigo now.

-Oh, yeah?
-With my brother.

Yeah, he has a job there.

And a newborn.

-Far out.
-The whole shebang.

-I'll be heading over.
-Yeah.

In a few days.

So you're gonna stay
at your uncle's till then?

Good God, no.

Those people don't
talk to me anymore.

They don't even talk to Mum.

What happened?

They found out I f*ck boys.

Bit of a deal breaker.

So, where you staying?

Bundoora Parkview.

You didn't have to get a hotel.

Ah, it's a ten-minute drive
to the venue.

Who gets married in a church?

Who gets married?

You're gonna come say hi,
though, right?

I'll drive you to the hotel.

What?

I'll just be in the way.

Nah.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

Not having it.

You're coming.

Adam. Hello.

- Oh, come in, come in, come in.
- Everybody's home.

- Oh, my God.
- Fantastic.

Oh, my God, can you believe it?

Hi, guys. How are you?
Hi. How you doing?

Come here, you.

Oh, my God, you have...
you have, like, muscles.

Like, the SkyBus kind of
makes me want to vomit.

-I'm Rhiannon.
-Nikola.

Nikola.

Bristol?
Wait, where's Bristol again?

I was born and raised here.
Can't really break out of it.

Just got to do my meditation...

No. I don't think I could
ever not live in Australia.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, I don't know.

Your tag's on the bottom
of your shoe.

Adam, you and I are so having

- a dance together tonight.
- That's okay.

Not happening. I'm not dancing.

-You're gonna dance with me.
-I'd ruin the wedding.

-Come on.
-No, no, no. Kol's the dancer.

Kol?

After a couple drinks, maybe.

- We're dancing tonight.
- Oh, Kolly, it was

so sweet how you called
after all these years.

Sorry I was in Bali.

Oh, that?

I was so embarrassed.

I totally mixed up
the time zones.

I got to say,
I was a bit worried at the time.

Yeah, Mum was like,
"You've got to

invite him to the wedding."

Yeah, of course.

Sorry, Fay.

Such a good idea.

I've just had a flashback.

Remember picking him up
from dance class?

We'd turn up at his place,
and he'd be out

on the nature strip
ten minutes early,

freezing off
his poor butt cheeks.

Adorable.

So, like,
is everyone here gays tonight?

'Cause, like, a part of me
legit hopes so.

Really, Rhiannon? Shiraz?

Maybe put the red wines down.

I remember you now.

Kol "Dennick."

I remember you, too,
Coral Birch.

Well, it's, uh...
it's Davidovich now.

-You married a Serb?
-Mm-hmm. Sure did.

Ziveli. Ziveli?
Is that how you say it?

Put the red down, Rhiannon.

Shockingly close.

Ziveli. Ziveli!

Maybe put the reds down for now

while we're getting dressed
and everything.

And how about you, Kol?
Are you hoping to get married?

Well, got to at least wait
till it's legal.

Oh, Adam didn't wait.
He just got married.

He did?

Yeah. Uh, New York, wasn't it?

- It was Toronto.
- Toronto.

My husband's Canadian,
not American.

No way. Cool.

- Same diff.
- Yeah.

Matt couldn't come, then?

- On business.
- Oh.

- On a business trip.
- Oh, too bad.

Is, uh, what's-her-name coming?

To the wedding? Tari?

Who would invite her?

- Oh, ziveli!
- Careful.

-It's all good. -Oh,
my God, Rhiannon, I said...

It's a T-shirt,
all right? Calm your ovaries.

- Didn't I say?
- I-I'm so sorry.

T-shirt? You got f*cking
red wine on his white shoes.

- Change in Ebony's room.
- It's upstairs.

- I was cheersing.
- It's fine.

I was really...
I was trying to...

- It's fine.
- Come on.

-Take it to the dry cleaner.
-Don't worry, it's fine.

Un-f*cking-believable.

Uh, Kolly, babe, soz, yeah?

It's all good. It's fine.

I'm sorry about her.

Remember which is which?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

Just move anything out of
the way as well.

I need a stress-free zone,
or I will freak out.

So we're doing bubbles.

-Yeah, let's just
do bubbles. -Bubbles.

I'm just saying that
between this photo

and the contouring
that's on my face...

Hey, guys, I might run off

just to check in,
try to squeeze in a nap.

I'll get the keys.

I've ordered a cab.
It's all good.

-You what?
-It's all good.

-I've ordered a cab.
-Well, un-order it, then.

I'll drive... I'll drive you.

I can't wait to see
youse all there.

- Bye!
- Woo-hoo!

- You nearly done?
- No.

To witness that I,
Jacob Curtis Stewart...

To witness that I, yep,

Jacob Curtis Stewart...

Take thee,
Ebony Katrina Donegal...

Take the Ebony
Katrina Donegal...

Bali for the honeymoon.

Fantastic. Going to Kuta Beach.

But they're in
this gorgeous resort.

Don't even have to
leave the pool.

Oh, my God,
I'd so love to be with them.

Well, no and yes, but you know.

Hi.

Jenny.

Nikola.

Just this morning? Really?

You're-you're serious
about that?

-Plus, I'm such an idiot.
-Mm.

I was just here like
three months ago.

Before I knew about the wedding.

-I would've waited otherwise.
-Oh.

Me and my bank account
are very much wrecked

from these flights.

But you came for Ebony.

I thought this was the-the
randoms and castoffs table,

but you guys must be close.

Yeah.

♪ I'm sorry that you ♪

♪ Seem to be confused ♪

-♪ Oh... ♪
-♪ I'm sorry that you ♪

-♪ I'm sorry that you ♪
-♪ Seem to be confused ♪

-♪ Seem to be confused ♪
-♪ He belongs to me ♪

-♪ He belongs to me ♪
-♪ The boy is mine... ♪

These are my two kids.

This is Bentley.

He's-he's older
because he's taller.

- And this is Shakira.
- Yeah?

- Yeah, she's my...
- She's beautiful.

Thank you.

She's the youngest,
and she's a girl.

When he grows up,
he's going to be a dentist,

'cause he likes to cut things.

-Do they look Lebanese to you?
-Yeah.

♪ The boy is mine... ♪

Excuse me!

Only a bum chum.

♪ Seem to be confused ♪

♪ He belongs to me. ♪

♪ Take it back,
take it back, take it back ♪

♪ Take it back, take it back,
take it back, take it ♪

♪ Everybody look at me, me ♪

♪ I walk in the door,
you start screaming ♪

♪ Come on, everybody,
what you here for? ♪

♪ Move your body around
like a nympho ♪

♪ Everybody get your necks
to cr*ck around ♪

♪ All you crazy people,
come on, jump around ♪

♪ I wanna see you all
on your knees, knees ♪

♪ You either wanna
be with me or be me ♪

♪ Maneater ♪

♪ Make you work hard,
make you spend hard ♪

♪ Make you want
all of her love ♪

♪ She's a maneater ♪

♪ Make you buy cars,
make you cut cards ♪

♪ Make you fall
real hard in love ♪

♪ She's a maneater ♪

♪ Make you work hard,
make you spend hard ♪

♪ Make you want
all of her love ♪

♪ She's a maneater ♪

♪ Make you buy cars,
make you cut cards ♪

♪ Wish you never ever
met her at all. ♪

Kol!

You're f*cking sick as, man.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.
Promise me one thing, okay?

Go f*ck yourselves.

That was incredible.

Gays are just the best dancers.

They just bloody are.
I saw this documentary...

♪ Trying to keep
my eyes closed ♪

♪ Trying to keep it
just like before ♪

♪ The times we never even
thought to speak... ♪

That was just wonderful.

♪ Ooh-wee, it felt
so serious... ♪

Thank you.

♪ I wanna set it off ♪

♪ But it's this one thing
that got me trippin' ♪

♪ It's this one thing that
got me trippin' you did ♪

♪ This one thing your soul
made me feelin'... ♪

♪ Dear, I fear
we're facing a problem ♪

♪ You love me no longer,
I know, and ♪

♪ Maybe there is nothing
that I can do ♪

♪ To make you do ♪

♪ Mama tells me
I shouldn't bother ♪

♪ That I ought just to stick
to another man ♪

♪ A man that surely
deserves me ♪

♪ But I think you do ♪

♪ So I cry and I pray
and I beg ♪

♪ Love me, love me ♪

♪ Say that you love me ♪

♪ Fool me, fool me ♪

♪ Go on and fool me... ♪

Seriously?

Come on,
onto the dance floor now.

You promised.

♪ Leave me, leave me ♪

♪ Just say that you need me ♪

♪ So I cry ♪

♪ And I beg for you to ♪

♪ Love me, love me ♪

♪ Say that you love me ♪

♪ Leave me, leave me ♪

♪ Just say that you need me ♪

♪ I can't care... ♪

Hey. Hey.

How'd you guys meet?

Through work.

How many years ago?

It was five.

You happy?

What a dumb question.

That's the thing.

I'm such a loser.

Don't say that.

No, it's okay.

I am.

I am.

'Cause for me...

...life froze to this...

...this one feeling.

Sometimes...

...so many times, I think...

I think...

"f*ck.

How lucky am I?"

Yeah?

What other boy in Watsonia
got to experience this feeling?

'Cause I've met boys now.

I've met boys.

They don't know this feeling.

Only me.

Only I do.

How lucky.

Every day of every week

of every month,

I think...

"How lucky."

Because that feeling...

Where's your key?

I don't want to f*ck.

Yeah, I know. Me, neither.

Then what do you want?

To hold you.

My beautiful boy.