06x11 - Could I Leave You?

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Well, what's he saying?

I can't hear a thing, but
he looks like the naughty kid

in the principal's office.

When you were in there,
did you tell him about

the missing kerosene
canisters at the simulation?

Well, I told him what I saw. All of it.

Cooper d*ed because of
Beckett's negligence.

We all know it, but you're
all afraid to say so.

[SIGHS]

I mean his... his questions
seemed kind of general to me.

You know, like, "Where were you
when? Who was with you at the time?"

You know, I bet...

I bet Beckett gets off with
just a slap on the wrist.

No, this isn't a slap on the wrist.

Not if there's a training captain here.

So if we get a call, what?

We're just supposed to
blindly follow a captain

who's under investigation?

Morning, . Let's gather up.

No, no, no. You don't have
to line up. Let's bring it in.

It's routine for a training captain

to investigate after a tragedy
like what happened to Cooper,

to figure out what happened,
make sure that it doesn't happen again.

So it's extremely
important that you are all

completely honest and
fully transparent with him.

We clear?

- Yes, Chief.
- Good.

[CLEARS THROAT]

- Have a great shift.
- Thank you.

♪♪

Hey, am I late? Were we called in early?

Everyone who was in the... the training.

- [QUIETLY] Was he drunk?
- Was who drunk?

Was Beckett drunk when
he made the mistake

that k*lled a firefighter?

We don't know that he made a mistake.

That's what they're up
there trying to figure out.

So he wasn't drunk?

[SIGHS] As far as I know,
he's been sober a while.

I mean, I think that's
why he's been so cranky.

Why? You know something I don't?

I... I'm just sad that someone d*ed.

You know, we sign up to fight fires.

We know the risk. But
at a training exercise?

- It shouldn't have happened.
- Agreed.

Hey, what's, uh, what's
going on with you and Carina?

- We're not not talking.
- Mm. That's what I'm talking about.

I kissed Eli.

♪♪

- You have nothing to say about that?
- Oh, no. I got a lot to say.

I have... so much to say about it.

But you know, nobody likes
to hear "I told you so."

- But you didn't tell me so.
- Uh, you know what?

Uh, technically, I didn't, but
I told me so, in my head, so...

- You're ridiculous.
- Uh, why?

Because I saw this
coming from a mile away?

- How? How? When?
- Uh, last time we were in this room.

Literally, the last time we
were working in here together,

you were like, "Ugh, I hate
that guy." But it was in that,

"I'm totally gonna make out
with him in the end" kind of way.

Well, you know what? It happened.

- Yeah!
- Yeah, okay.

This... This is the kind
of drama I am here for.

- Let me see.
- He keeps texting me.

- I... Oh, my God. He's funny.
- Right? Yeah, I guess.

- I mean... yeah.
- Mm.

- [KEYS CLICKING]
- Vic, are you... What are you doing?

No, seriously. Just stop.

- Nothing, I'm just trying to...
- Hey, hey.

- No! No!
- No. I... No, no.

- Come on, let me live.
- No.

- Stop it.
- Ooh!

- One second. Okay.
- [MESSAGE SWOOPS]

Sorry. Well, now he'll think you're
funny, too, so you're welcome.

[LAUGHING] Hey.

You actually think this investigation's
gonna get rid of Beckett?

Hey, if this is happening,
Ruiz, then something's happening.

This is just a preliminary step.

You know, taking statements,
building a timeline.

So, no singing, - "Ding-dong,
the Beckett's gone"?

Not yet.

Maybe I could, like, uh,
like, hum it softly to myself?

Mm. If your humming is as bad
as you're singing, maybe no.

Hey, we can get Hughes
to sing it when it's time.

- [LOUD LAUGHTER]
- Alright.

- Alright. Take care, man.
- Still feel like singing?

If you've got time to lean,
you've got time to clean, .

Sullivan, you're up.

♪♪

[CELLPHONE DINGS]

Oh, someone's trying to reach you.

- Oh, Eli.
- No, I know.

I know that you hate him,
but he's really not that bad.

- Have you seen my poll numbers lately?
- ANDY: I don't hate him.

I don't hate him. I don't hate him.
I don't hate him. I hate...

I don't hate anything. I hate
politics. Don't you hate politics?

You used to hate politics. I
think I hate the word "hate."

- Are you having a seizure?
- [EXHALES DEEPLY] Maybe.

- [CELLPHONE RINGS]
- I got to take this.

I got to take this.
Eli, my man. Talk to me.

Yeah, no, I'm here.

Engine , Ladder , and Aid Car
requested to Aldred Road.

[ALARM BEEPING]

Hey. Hey, Aldred Road. That's
your old neighborhood again, right?

- This one has Tomás's shop.
- Okay. Theo, switch with me.

I'm on desk duty. I'll go.

- No, I'm good.
- Are you sure?

I said I'm good.

♪♪

[SIREN WAILING]

♪♪

His hands are shaking. Is
Beckett drunk right now?

Beckett's an idiot, but he
wouldn't be drunk on the job.

In the middle of this investigation?

I don't know that it's really
great decision-making skills

guiding his choices right now, you know?

I think he's drinking.
I think he tried to stay dry,

and it's just... there's temptation.
And I just... I think he's drinking.

Maybe it's the shakes
because he hasn't had a drink.

And that's any better?

I bought him a bottle
when I was really a mess.

I know it's awful and I'm going
to hell, but I bought him a bottle,

and I put it right in
front of him on his desk.

Well, if any of us follow Beckett
into a fire right now, joke's on us.

Okay. Listen up.

♪♪

♪♪

- Larsson, Ruiz!
- [COUGHING]

Is anyone else in there?

I don't know. I could
barely see the door.

Herrera, we have five coming to triage.

Copy, Bishop.

♪♪

Okay, fire is well-established
with heavy smoke.

- What's going on?
- Gibson, Bishop, fire att*ck.

Ruiz, search and rescue.

Herrera, what do you think you're doing?

Wiggins, cut the
utilities in the building.

SULLIVAN: She's taking over.

This what we're doing? Are
we sure? I mean, of course we're

- sure, but are we sure?
- Yes.

Alright, this is different
than Beckett's apathy,

where he just lets Herrera take
over because he's checked out.

- Warren.
- No, this is basically a mutiny, okay?

We could all get fired. This
could affect everybody's ability

to get any job after this, forever.

Warren, this doesn't work unless
we're all in this together.

♪♪

We're all in this together.

♪♪

- Herrera, we're not doing this again.
- You're correct.

A drunk captain will not
put my team in danger today.

That is inflammatory and not your call.

- You're sitting this one out.
- That is not your call!

Yeah, it's mine. You're
not getting us k*lled today.

***...on fire att*ck

If you think I'm just gonna
stand here and let you...

Hey! Hey! You need to calm down.
Don't talk to her like that.

If she needs protecting
from you, Montgomery, she

- shouldn't be commanding this scene.
- Enough, Beckett!

Captain, I swear to God, if you don't...

Montgomery, get back
to triage. I got this.

Beckett, I don't recommend
you making this more difficult.

I don't care what you
recommend, Herrera.

You're completely out of line.

- Key people are concerned you might...
- I'm not drunk, Herrera.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Take it easy.

Alright, let's not get
distracted by this meltdown.

We have a job to do.

Klyne, we need a ladder on

- the east side of the building.
- If you don't stand down right

now, I'll call the chief.
I'll tell her exactly

- what you're doing.
- Go ahead! Go ahead and call

her! Let her see you like this!

I mean, Sullivan, Warren...

Surely the adults here
can see how insane this is.

And what she's doing is
gonna blow back on all of you!

Captain, I think you should
follow Herrera's orders.

They're not orders if they're
coming from a subordinate!

Okay, let's not cause a scene
in front of the civilians.

Larsson, get another line on that roof.

Warren, back to triage. Sullivan, move.

WARREN: Come on.

You're gonna regret this.

♪♪

- Chief.
- Oh, no, no.

- No need for all of that. As you were.
- Apologies, Chief.

I'm old school... And ex-m*llitary.
Old habits.

First day of boot camp,
I was too slow to stand

when my sergeant
walked into my barracks,

and my arms still hurt from
how many push-ups he made me do.

But I learned respect for respect.

Ex-m*llitary, too.

And old school as well, if
I'm being perfectly honest.

- Ah.
- Oh, I hide it that well?

No, no. It's just, uh,
well you're... You're, uh...

Yeah. Yeah. I have to
play to a lot of crowds.

- Right.
- Anyway, it's appreciated.

And a reminder that some
of our newer members,

let's call them, are
not as professional.

- Indeed.
- I'm glad that you're on this.

It's a tough assignment,

and we're very fortunate
to have someone so seasoned,

so professional handling
the investigation

- into what happened to Lt. Cooper.
- Well, thank you, Chief.

You got everything you
needed talking to ?

I know that's a little unorthodox,

me asking anything
about it at this point.

- No.
- But this is my first of these

inquiries with the Seattle
department, and, yeah, I'm just

- doing due diligence.
- No, no. Everybody's been very

- forthcoming and cooperative.
- Good. Captain Beckett?

Sean can always be counted on.
He's old school, like us.

- Yeah, I had heard as much.
- Which is why it's a relief, actually,

that it's looking like a no-fault.

- Really?
- Well, I still have

some follow-ups with ,
but it's looking good for us.

Nothing that can really be
directly pinned on Captain Beckett,

should we have to, uh,
present it that way.

♪♪

That is very good for me to know.

- Thank you, Josh. I appreciate you.
- Chief.

♪♪

♪♪

Uh...

- Hello, hello!
- Hi.

- Hi, hi.
- What...

- Hello.
- Hi.

I could have waited for the
next clinic day to bring this stuff...

But you wanted to see Maya?

- Guilty.
- Mm-hmm.

It's like I have a crush
on her or something.

Aww.

It's like the very
beginning of a relationship,

where both people are into it,

but also they don't really
know where they stand,

so they don't want to
come off too strong.

But also, we are already... married.

- It's sweet.
- It's stressful.

- I like it, but Maya's on a call.
- Oh.

Okay, well, I might as well
stock this stuff while I'm here.

Okay.

[GASPS]

- Hi.
- Hmm.

This is one of the only times

I've been to this station where
someone is excited to see me.

Oh, we love it when
you're here for Crisis One.

It's just the sneak-att*ck,
dive-b*mb, drive-by therapy

- that leaves us a little squiggly.
- Ah.

Oh, I started my psych course at U-Dub.

- Oh, that's right.
- Mm-hmm.

- How's it going?
- Uh, it's amazing.

- It's amazing. I love it.
- Uh-huh.

- Dr. Crompton?
- Yeah?

- Oh, the things I would do to that man.
- Dr. Diane!

I mean, if I wasn't in a relationship.

- Uh-huh.
- And he wasn't

married, and I had the option.

- Ooh, okay.
- Oh, please.

- You would, too.
- Well...

I mean, to look like
that and think like that.

- Mm-hmm.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]

You know, we can talk like this now.
We're colleagues. We're equals.

I wouldn't say "equals."

After Crompton's
course and this? Equals.

[COUGHING]

I'm glad you got out
of there safe, Tomás,

but this better not be because
of those extension cords.

No, bro. I did exactly
what you guys told me to do.

- I don't know what the hell happened.
- Okay, okay. You can't move

while I'm trying to help
you out of here, okay?

_

_

Wait, wait. Hey!

Herrera, we got one more
inside! Name is José Ortega.

Evac, there's one person still inside.

Name is José Ortega. Move, move!

♪♪

♪♪

Herrera, we need another way in.

♪♪

Copy, we need an alt entry...

In the back alley behind the shop.

Tomás's apartment connects
into the barbershop.

Okay, Gibson, behind the
shop, there's an apartment.

You can breach that door and
access the rear of the shop.

- Got it!
- ♪♪

MAYA: Great, a backyard junkyard.

- One man's junk is another man's...
- Man's fire hazard.

♪♪

Herrera, there's a metal
security gate on the door.

- We're gonna have to bust through that.
- Copy. Cutler, help Bishop.

Run a line there and be ready.
That door's our only way in.

_

_

Well, I'm just saying, why is he
hanging out being all sourpuss,

and you're here school nursing me?

- Is anyone looking for Mr. Ortega?
- Yes. Yes.

Now, please, stay still so
I can listen to your lungs.

- [GROANS]
- Tomás. Tomás!

- Mrs. Ortega?
- Tomás...

- _
- _

- _
- _

_

- Then it was all smoke.
- You just left Jose?

_

Theo, go in there and
get my José, please!

If I could, I'd already
be in there, Mrs. Ortega.

- But I...
- _

- Señora, wait!
- No!

- Hey! Hey!
- _

Okay. Okay. Okay.

José!

How has only a fourth of the
dispatch division been trained?

We can train up as
many C units as we want,

but if they're not
being deployed correctly...

You're Diane, right? Like Diane, Diane?

- Like Maya's therapist Diane?
- Yes.

That's what I thought. Okay.

[SIGHS] I feel bad.

I know she just wants a
little insight about Maya,

but, you know, doctor-patient.

She knows that. But I mean, I get it.

If somebody came in here who understood

the inner contours of
my boyfriend's brain,

I'd want to pump them
for information, too.

Hmm. Something going on there?

Uh, no. No. He's just working
through some stuff right now.

Okay, I know you can't
tell me anything about Maya,

but you can tell me how are you
feeling about the whole situation.

That won't be about
Maya. That's about you.

Carina, you know I really can't.

Okay, what if it was your wife
or husband or... or partner?

I just need something. I
need something to make me f...

I feel like I'm the one who's losing it,

and I can't keep showing
up for the fixing of it

if I am losing it.

Fine. You get three questions.

If I can answer them, I will.

- Really?
- Yes.

- Great.
- That's one.

- Oh, co... Wow.
- Two more.

Okay. Okay.

Is my wife doing better right now?

Like, in your professional opinion,

is my wife doing
clinically better right now?

What would my saying
yes to that mean to you?

That we're getting somewhere.

Then it looks to me like
you're getting somewhere.

Great. Okay, one more.

Do you think Maya and I are
going to make it through this?

Carina, I can't answer that.

Yes, you can. You know. I
know you know. Y-You're Diane.

I can't answer that, but I can tell you

that you can't go through what
you've both just gone through

without thinking and
feeling different things

on the other side of it.

So even if you still
want to be together,

you have to figure out
how to make it a "together"

that works for both of you.

I feel like you're
saying we are breaking up.

- I'm really not.
- Then what are you saying?

That you have to figure out
what you want, what you need,

and what that all realistically
looks like right now,

and then you have to ask for it.

Okay, my head hurts.

Yeah, that's how it always
feels when she does her thing.

- Y-Yeah?
- Yeah.

♪♪

[DOOR CREAKING]

Sullivan, fire's moving north
fast. What's your status?

SULLIVAN: Slow going.
Coming out to get the rotary

- saw, in case we need it.
- Copy.

We don't have a lot of time
before it's too risky to go in.

What's she talking about?
My José is still in there!

No, no, no. We're doing
everything we can to save him, okay?

No, you're not.

- You're all out here, talking to me.
- No.

No. I... We all have a job to do.

Mine now is here with you.

_

_

- _
- Mrs. Ortega, please.

_

_

_

Please, Theo. Go get my husband!

- Hey!
- Beckett, what are you... Stand down!

Stand down! Stand down!

- No! Beckett!
- Beckett! Beckett!

No! No!

♪♪

[GROANS]

♪♪

Didn't really think
that through, did you?

Mr. Ortega!

Mr. Ortega!

Mr. Ortega, SFD!

Surprised just how
secretarial leadership is?

- No, Dean complained about it plenty.
- [TIRES SQUEAL]

[HORN BLARING]

Whoa.

Ma'am, ma'am, can you hear me?

You can take... It's okay!

It's okay! It's okay.

- Ma'am, can you hear me?
- Oh, my God.

- What's your name?
- I...

Did I... Did I make it? Am I here?

If your goal was to get yourself
to a fire station, you did...

Which is impressive,
under the circumstances.

- I'm Diane.
- I'm Vic. What's your name?

I just learned to drive.
I didn't know what to do.

It was like I couldn't
even stop driving.

I hit everything on the way over here.

There's a lot of blood
on her right side.

We're gonna have to keep
her calm and very still.

- There is a deer in my car!
- We're gonna take care of all of that.

We're gonna need more hands.

Carina! DeLuca, we
need you down here now!

Get ready for whatever
comes out of there.

, this has now
become a two-man rescue,

Mr. Ortega and one of our own.

Beckett pulled a cowboy move.
I need that door breached now!

- [CELLPHONE RINGS]
- Josh, hi.

Yes, that's right.

Divita Burton will be continuing
the interviews at . [KEYS JINGLE]

You know, I always did
think that it was absurd

that these inquiries were
conducted by one person,

rather than an entire
team, so I changed that.

She seems more than up to the task,

and I think that with
both your perspectives

that the department will
get a much clearer picture.

Mm-hmm. Indeed.

Okay, talk soon.

- [SCOFFS]
- [CELLPHONE CLATTERS]

MONICA: [CRYING] Oh, my
God. This is the worst.

Okay, just don't look at
it. Just tell me your name.

We're doing introductions right now?

I'm Carina. That's Vic,
and that's Diane.

Diane! She told me.

They're incredible
firefighters and shrinks,

and I'm a great doctor.

- You don't even know your luck.
- Luck?

There are antlers inside my body!

Okay, we're gonna take care
of that right now, alright?

- How's your pain?
- It's not so bad, as

- long as I don't move. Is that normal?
- Well, here.

- Can you put these on for me?
- Okay.

I never even wanted
to learn how to drive!

I was scared of this kind
of thing, and now look.

You were scared about
this kind of things?

Not this, specifically.

But when you learn to drive
when you're as old as I am,

you think about all the
mortality and fatality

and the danger everywhere...

Stuff a lucky clueless
-year-old doesn't.

- Ready.
- Alright.

Uh, can you turn that way
to protect your eyes for me?

- Face the deer?!
- F-Face me. Face me. Look at me.

Look at me. I'm... I'm right here.
Look at me. Look at me.

- I'm right here.
- Oh, no.

I'm right here. Good.

Mr. Ortega!

Mr. Ortega!

♪♪

Alright, don't worry, Mr. Ortega.

We're gonna get you out
of here as soon as we can.

♪♪

[GROANS]

♪♪

♪♪

I got you, Mr. Ortega.

Ahh!

♪♪

[GROANS]

♪♪

[GROANS]

♪♪

♪♪

[EXTINGUISHER CLATTERS]

♪♪

Ahh!

I got you, Mr. Ortega.

♪♪

It's you and me, buddy.

Alright.

[COUGHING]

♪♪

Penetrating injury into her right side.

She's stable, but we need to secure
these antlers before we saw.

And by "saw," you mean get
these antlers out of me, right?

We don't want to risk
injuring anything else.

The way they've gone in, they
might be close to the liver

or the kidney, and we don't
want to move things around.

It's just better for you to be
in a proper hospital for this.

- Oh, that's perfect.
- I'm going to get gauze and ABD pads.

Okay, it's starting to hurt.

It's starting to really hurt.
It didn't really before, but now...

That's 'cause the initial
adrenaline rush is wearing off.

I'm gonna give you a little
something for the pain, okay?

- Okay.
- Okay.

Keep pressure on. I'm
going to get the saw.

I'll put this to secure the wound.

You might feel a little pressure.

- Hey, Monica. Monica.
- Hmm?

You're doing great.
You're doing great, okay?

Why don't you, um, you just
tell me something about yourself.

- Like, uh, where did you grow up?
- [GAUZE PULLING]

New York. Ugh! This
should not be my life.

- I am a city person.
- Yeah?

I fell in love with my husband,
who's a businessman in... in the city.

And then he sold his startup

and he wanted to move
back home to Seattle.

I was tricked. But it was too late.
I was already in love with him.

If he had told me in the beginning,

"You have to choose
between me and the city,"

- I would have picked New York.
- Wow.

Oh, people love to rag on the
subway, but let me tell you...

Even at its worst, it is not this bad.

The casual morning masturbator

grossly eyeing you across
the train is nothing

compared to harpoon via Bambi.

- [LAUGHTER]
- You're funny.

♪ I've been losing my
religion, oh, Lord ♪

♪ Now my life is like
a fiction I wrote ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm the same guy ♪

Herrera?

You've got, like, seconds.

♪ Yeah, I'm like a cowboy ♪

♪ Always on the run from
the sheriff, he knows ♪

♪ He knows I don't fear no one ♪

♪ He knows I'm my father's son ♪

♪ Hmm, oh, I hear the
b*ll*ts flyin' over my head ♪

♪ Before it's time to reload ♪

♪ I've been losing my
religion, oh, Lord ♪

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

♪ Now, my life is like a fiction ♪

Come on, Beckett. We gotta go.

♪♪

Come on, Beckett!

Beckett, we gotta go.

Sean! Sean.

It's time to go.

♪ I won't surrender ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I won't surrender ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I won't surrender ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ I won't surrender ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

José! José! Oh, my God.

- Hey!
- No, no, no, no.

Oh, how is he? Is he
okay? Tell... Tell me.

Is he gonna be... Tell me he's okay.

We have to give them
space to treat him, okay?

Please, tell me my
husband is okay, Theo.

Okay, uh, Mrs. Ortega,

I haven't lied to you
or Mr. Ortega before,

and I'm not going to start now.

The truth is, I don't know.

I'm so sorry, but if you can just
let them take care of Mr. Ortega,

I can get back to work, okay?

Okay? Alright.

Okay.

♪♪

[CRYING]

Okay, this is the last little bit

and then we're gonna
have you out of this car.

- Okay?
- [SAW WHIRRING]

[SCREAMING]

No, no, no, no, no!

- No, no, no!
- Are you alive?

- Are you kidding me?
- Okay.

Is this thing still alive?

It's dead. It's fully dead.
I-I-I think I checked its pulse.

You think? I thought you were a doctor!

Well, yeah, but n-not
of... Not of deer.

It's just a muscle spasm, okay?

It happens to people too. It's dead.

I promise you, it's dead.

- Okay?
- Okay.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait. Can we just wait?

Uh, what if... what if it does it again

and then you slip and then the saw...

No, Monica. That's not gonna
happen, okay? You're catastrophizing.

I don't think you can
tell the person who's

connected to a deer via its antlers

plunged in her stomach
that she's catastrophizing!

Okay, well, that is...
That is fair enough.

Um, look, Monica, I know
this is unbelievably scary,

but we really need to cut this
to get you out of here, okay?

We are not gonna let
anything happen to you.

Okay?

- Okay.
- Alright.

- Alright. Here we go.
- [SAW WHIRRING]

♪♪

- Let's get this oxygen on you.
- That's sweet, Ruiz, but I got it.

I'm trying to help you
out, but suit yourself.

WARREN: Okay, Mr. Ortega. We got you.

- He's coming around.
- [COUGHING]

Mr. Ortega? Mr. Ortega, can you hear me?

José! _

Mr. Ortega, don't...
don't try to speak, okay?

You're in good hands.
Just lay back. Load him up.

Alright, Mrs. Ortega. They're gonna...

They're going to take
him to Grey-Sloan.

- I-I'll drive her.
- Okay.

_

Whatever's left, I'm sure
will be here when I get back.

Vámanos. Vámanos.

Okay, come on, Beckett.

Let's get you to Grey-Sloan so
you can get checked out, too.

- I am fine, Warren.
- You're not fine.

You're going to the hospital.

[GROANS]

♪♪

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

- I can't do this.
- Hey, you already did.

You're out. You're good.
You... You're headed to the hospital,

and you're on to the rest of your life.

No, not this.

Living here, being here,
this being my life. I can't.

Look, I love my husband.
Like, really love him.

And I-I know he loves me,
which is why I didn't even realize...

Well, after this, I'm pretty sure
he'll live wherever you want.

It's not just where we're living.

My gut tried to warn
me, and I didn't listen.

I loved the city and my life
there and who I was there.

I mean, more than who
I am with my husband.

More than maybe him, I think.

I have to go home.

I ignored my gut, and now
there is an antler in it.

Okay, I think maybe you
should just talk to him first.

Like really, really talk to him
and tell him what you're feeling.

- Tell him what you need.
- I think we're past that.

This probably isn't a great time
to be making any giant decisions.

- You've been through extreme stress.
- No, it's the perfect time.

You guys saved my life. I have
to do something with the rest of it

- so it feels like mine again.
- Okay, let's load her up.

♪♪

- Did today really happen?
- Yeah.

We got through today
because of your leadership.

We'll get through tomorrow as a team.

We did what we had to do,
and we're all alive because of it.

Well, what the hell was he thinking,
jumping into the fire like that?

- Trying for redemption?
- A desperate move to be brave?

No, no, no. That's not what that
was. Nah, I've seen this before,

that thousand-yard stare in his eyes.

Back in Iraq, we were all pinned down,

waiting forever for an
air strike to save us.

PFC Gadson, he just...
He was sitting there,

just... rocking, hands
covering his ears.

I saw it in his eyes, too.

Same vacancy I saw in Beckett's.

Then, uh, Gadson, he just stood,
and he walked right into enemy fire.

♪♪

Yeah, Beckett jumping through
that fire wasn't bravery.

[SCOFFS] That was something else.

♪♪

Hey, Monica, everything's
gonna feel better tomorrow.

- Okay?
- Thank you.

Actually, you know what? In,
like, an hour or right now.

You know, can you stay
on top of her pain?

She's been through a lot today.

- PARAMEDIC: Of course. We've got her.
- [SIREN WAILS]

[LAUGHS] That was incredible!
My God! And we k*lled it!

- Up here! Up here!
- Oh!

- Oh. Well, okay, Doc.
- Ohhh!

Oh, I forgot the rush of
having your hands in it!

I mean, you know, tending
to your sweet little brains

is the privilege of a
lifetime, but my God!

- Hey, hey.
- Oh, oh, the adrenaline!

- The thrill! The rush of being ins...
- Hey, Carina?

- Oh, my God. Are you...
- [SOBBING] Am I being an idiot?

Am I... Am I... Am I ignoring my gut

and going to end up with
an antler in it, too?

I mean, metaphorically.
Am I the car? Am I Monica?

Am I the deer? Am I the antler?

Am I... Am I the antler in Maya's gut?

Or is this whole thing with
her an antler in my gut?

Or is this just a gigantic
warning sign that I'm ignoring

because I'm in love with her?
I mean, how do I not freaking know

who or what I am in
this freaking metaphor?

- I...
- Carina. Carina.

- Carina. Take a breath.
- [INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY]

Am I just signing up for more pain?

Okay, you know what?

I don't think that's what's
going on with you guys.

You're both working really hard at
this. I mean, she's seeing Diane...

She's only seeing her because
the department made her.

Uh, the first session, sure.

But we've kept working together,
and she's not doing that for the job.

She's doing that for
you. For both of you.

Okay, you know what? Ask me...
Ask me the third question.

The one that Diane wouldn't
answer when we were upstairs.

Okay, I'll do it for you.

Do I know... that you and Maya are
going to make it through this

and actually be better off for it?

Yes, yes. Of course, yes, I do.

♪♪

- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
- Oh, my God.

I now have to go deliver a baby.

Hey, now, see? Could an antler do that?

What?

I'm saying you're not an
ant... You're not an antler.

- Okay.
- You know what?

I have had the same crazy,
exhausting day as both of you

and not all of them
can be winners, alright?

- So I need some support.
- Yes, we did it!

- Yes!
- Thank you both.

Still not over it!

- Still great at this!
- Woo!

- Still got it!
- [BOTH LAUGH]

[SIGHS]

You wanna stay for dinner?
I think we're having venison.

Unh-unh. No. No, ma'am.

Mm-hmm.

♪♪

Vic: Woo-hoo-hoo!

Y'all are not gonna believe
what happened to me today!

Dr. Diane...

- What's... What is going on?
- It's been a day.

Hey. Are you...

- Is the barbershop okay? Is Tomás...
- He's fine.

The place is a complete
loss, but he's fine.

Okay, good. I know
that must've been hard.

I wish you would have let
me switch places with you.

No, I told you I didn't need that.

Well, I know, I was just...
You could've traded with me...

Vic, can we please
- not talk about it right now?

Hey. It's not you. It's not you.
We, uh... On the call, we...

Beckett... We strongly
believed Beckett was drunk,

and it was a mess and everyone's
still shaken up about it.

Hey! I hope you're
proud of yourselves, !

This is not how we do things.
The stupidity and the shortsighted...

The Beckett situation was being handled.

- Respectfully, Chief, it wasn't.
- No, no, no.

Don't pretend a single one
of you has any respect for me

or this department.

The hubris that pervades
the day-to-day movements

of this station is astounding.

I don't know how it got this
way, but it ends right now.

Your actions today violated
almost every protocol in the Seattle FD,

and it just might have
cost you all your jobs.

♪♪

Does someone wanna explain to me

what exactly went down
in the field today?

Chief, Beckett was presenting

like he was under the influence and...

- And we had to do something about it.
- Chief, listen to me.

I've been saying he
doesn't have to be in there

and everyone's acting like I'm crazy...

Enough!

This is what I'm talking about!

♪♪

- Permission to speak, Chief?
- [SCOFFS]

Beckett was drunk. Period.

I think we can all bet
our careers on that.

We did bet our careers on that.

We knew what we were doing.

We understood the
repercussions of our actions,

but we also knew that if
it had gone any other way,

we all wouldn't be
standing here right now.

We would be making funeral
arrangements like .

We're firefighters, Chief.

It's what we do, and we do
it because we love this job.

We just want to be safe
so we can keep doing it.

I appreciate your calm
statement, Herrera,

but your eloquence does
not excuse your actions.

[CELLPHONE RINGS]

Okay. Now I have to deal with it.

♪♪

Out of my sight. All of you.

♪♪

- It was literally our only option.
- No, it wasn't.

There were plenty of
things we could've done.

But, I mean, we made our choice
and now we have to live with it.

[SIGHS] Ross was right.

It was bad form. It was
way worse than bad form.

Well, I've got no good words.

Now we're really screwed,
because you always have, like,

- a joke to get us through it.
- Okay. Knock, knock.

Nope. Please, no.

Not having any jokes is better than
improvised knock-knock jokes.

I'm just glad you weren't there.

At least one person won't be fired.

You will have to
continue the legacy of .

Can she do it? I believe
in you, Vic Hughes.

It's not gonna happen,
right? It's not gonna happen.

They can't fire all of you.

Besides, you were in the right, so...

[SIGHS]

So what does your wife
think about it all?

Oh, no, no, no.

We're definitely not at
"casual gripe about your day"

normal yet, so we're definitely not at

"please help with this
landslide in my head,

because this is all my fault."

- You think this is all your fault?
- I know it is.

Because you gave him the bottle?

- You heard about that?
- Yeah.

But you were about to tell
me about it regardless, so...

I'm a monster.

There is a direct line between
someone's death and my cruelty.

I mean, what kind of person
does something like that?

The entire time, going
to the liquor store,

handing him the bottle,
the look on his face...

- I felt like I'd won.
- Okay, in your defense,

you had what could be
called a nervous breakdown.

Alright, you literally
were not in your right mind.

Cooper would be alive
if it wasn't for me.

We don't know that. We don't
know what actually happened.

This mutiny would have never happened.

- Oh.
- We could be fired...

- Mm-hmm.
- All because...

- Because I... because I was...
- In a terrible place.

A terrible place that
you have worked very hard

- to get yourself out of.
- [SIGHS]

I have to talk to the Chief,
okay? I have to explain...

God, it feels like battery acid
in my stomach, this guilt...

The guilt is how you know
you're a decent human being.

A lot of people have done a lot worse

and never felt an ounce of regret.

♪♪

- I did an awful thing.
- You did. You did.

And you can apologize
for it when you are ready.

But Beckett has a disease, okay?
He needs to get help.

And if it wasn't your bottle,
he'd have found another one.

You have your part, he has his.

You did not make him drink on the job.

♪♪

♪♪

- [KEYS CLICKING]
- _

[MESSAGE SWOOPS]

♪♪

_

[LAUGHS]

[KEYS CLICKING]

How was your day?

I have to go check on Captain
Beckett at the hospital.

Look, what we did
wasn't rash or reckless.

He was not in a position
to run point on a scene.

And that didn't come out
of nowhere, you know that.

You of all people should know better.

You think you have
special privileges, Lieutenant?

I'm finished discussing this here,

and you've already been dismissed.

- Alright, then.
- Sully, Sully.

♪♪

I'll see you later, okay?

Look, I don't think I'm going
to be able to make it, okay?

This Beckett stuff has
gotten into my head,

and I have to go a meeting.

♪♪

Okay? I... I've been
missing them because...

But, um... I have to prioritize it.

♪♪

Hey. I thought you were...

I checked myself out,
I checked myself in.

Captain Beckett?

I, uh, I need help, Chief.

♪♪

I spoke to my... union rep.

I'm taking a leave of absence.

♪♪