01x19 - The Champ

[bunniefuu]

( siren wailing ) Just another squishie.

I ain't seen a single Autobot on this backwater mudball.

All the same, Groundpounder, we gotta make sure the heat's off.

Or do you wanna go back in the can?

I'm sick and tired of layin' low, coach.

All we've been doing since the prison ship crash is training.

I need to get back in the ring.



( grunts )

( rock theme playing ) ANNOUNCER: The Crown City Demo Derby is back.

Featuring the undefeated dino

-demolisher, Mechanosaurus.

That supposed to be some sort of Dinobot?

Give me a break.

Watch Mechanosaurus battle all challengers at the Crown City Rumbledome.

Two shows daily, starting this weekend.

Only one beast machine can reign supreme.

Yeah.

Me.



( both grunting ) Where do you want this one, lieutenant?

Down on the end.

Thanks.



- Sir?



- This pod is fully fictional Fractional Functional.

Thank you, Fixit.

Another vacancy at the Hotel Decepticon.

Denny, take it away.

Bet you I can lift two pods.

I

-I don't know, Grimlock, they look pretty heavy.

Grimlock's going for the gold.

But can this handsome Dinobot actually handle that much weight?



( grunts ) Yes, he can.

The crowd goes wild.



( imitating crowd cheering )

( in high

-pitched voice ): Ooh, Grimlock, you're so suave.

Don't hurt yourself.

It's okay, I got it.

Uh, Russell.

I don't got it.

DENNY: Whoa, look out!

( both yell ) Transformers Robots in disguise Robots in disguise

( roars ) Robots in disguise Robots in disguise

( yells ) Heads up!

( both grunting )

( soft dramatic theme playing ) Did you see that?

I lifted those pods.

I'm strong.

And cute.

Like the cheering crowd said.

Grimlock, you could have hurt someone.

Huh?



- DRIFT: Bumblebee, we have a situation.



- What is it, Drift?

Decepticon signals.

Two of them, moving into Crown City.

Looks like they're stopping.

Fixit, where are they, exactly?

Verifying coordinates.

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, show your appreciation for the winner of today's Demolition Derby.



( crowd cheering ) And now the moment you've been waiting for, the main event, Smashdown.

Introducing the challenger, weighing in at five metric tons Truckalodon!

( crowd cheering ) Get 'em in the lobby.

All sizes.

Behold the reigning Smashdown champion Crasher Casey and Mechanosaurus.



( crowd cheering ) Mess with the Mech, and you get the horns.

Bring down the smash! CROWD

( chanting ): Bring down the smash.

Bring down the smash.

Bring down the smash.



( action theme playing ) Huh?

The winner and still Smashdown champion, Mechanosaurus! GROUNDPOUNDER: Champion?

You call that rusty scrud

-sucker a champion?

Feast your optics on a true king of the ring.



( grunts )

( yells ) That trophy belongs to me Groundpounder! Aaah! You didn't tell me you were adding a new contender.

Is this part of the show?

It is now.

Go get him, Casey.

You can take this stumblebum.

Toy with him for a couple minutes, give the squish a show.

Then drop the hammer.

Polyhex Powerslam! Ah! Take it easy, whoever you are, you're gonna destroy my rig.



( grunts ) Cyber city suplex! Ah.

You wanna play rough?

Fine.

I knew Dinobots.

I've fought Dinobots.

You're no Dinobot.



( gasps )

( yells ) I've pinpointed the Decepticons' location.



- They're in the Crown City Rumbledome.



- I could've told you that.

The big ape looks like a Decepticon to me.

D

-Do you realize who that is?

Groundpounder.

Who?

You know, the Beast of Kaon?

The Pulverizer of the Pits?

The Pounder of Ground er?

Groundpounder is only one of the greatest gladiators that Cybertron has ever known.

Don't you have any interest in culture?

If he's so wonderful, how did he wind up in the Alchemor?



( beeping ) FIXIT: During a big match, Groundpounder and his manager, Headlock, were accused of cheating and banned from the ring.

He was arrested for cheating?

He was arrested because he tore apart the arena and went on a rampage across Cybertron.

Took half the Elite Guard to bring him in.

Eh, there was that, yes.

But I never believed he cheated.

I mean, Groundpounder was strong enough to defeat any foe.

Well, he never went up against Grimlock the Great.

I'll take that monkey down hard.

Boom shaka

-laka.

But all that gladiator stuff was staged, right?

Just like pro wrestling on Earth?

Wait, pro wrestling is staged?

I assure you, gladiatorial combat on Cybertron was very real.

And now the "champion" is back in the arena, along with thousands of humans.

Fixit, program the GroundBridge for those coordinates.

Are you sure that's a good idea?

I haven't been able to work out all the britches Stitches Glitches.

We have to risk it.



( tense theme playing ) Autobots, assume cover and burn rubber.



( cat screeches ) That's what you're goin' with?

Wordplay isn't your strong suit, chief.

All right, just roll out.



( grunts ) Stand down, big guy.

Aw, come on.

Sorry, Grimlock.

But since we're bridging directly into the city, stealth is absolutely essential.



( groans ) I don't think we're in Crown City.



( dramatic theme playing ) I can see that, Fixit.

Open a new portal and get us out of here before we freeze our lug nuts off.

SIDESWIPE: Where are we now?

BUMBLEBEE: Three hundred twenty

-seven miles from Crown City.

At least we are on the correct land mass.

FIXIT: Shall I open another GroundBridge, sir?

Negative, it's too unreliable.

We'll drive from here.

The rest of you, try to disguise Grim as a contestant and get him in that arena.

Contain the 'Cons until we arrive.

Oh, I'll "contain" 'em, all right with my fists.

BUMBLEBEE: Grimlock?

Denny's in charge.

Do precisely what he says.



- Me?



- Come on.

Denny?

He's the closest thing to a responsible adult.

Then I respectfully suggest we make haste.



( crowd cheering )

( grunts )

( grunts ) Get up, ya bum! Ah! Mess with the Mech, and you get the horns.



( machine sputtering ) What the?

What's wrong with that one?

Judging from how Mechanosaurus is moving, it looks like it might be a problem with the proximal servos.

Headlock.

Sabotage.

Those lousy cheaters.

Groundpounder can't be a cheater.

That has to be some trick of human television.

It has to be.



( grunts )

( grunting )

( crowd gasps ) Time to bring the heat.



( yelling ) The Fiery Fists of Furnax.

Oh, yeah! Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner and new Smashdown champion, Groundpounder!

( crowd cheering ) None of that was in the script.

And my rig is trashed.

Don't be a sore loser, Casey.

Hello, driver?

Come on out, I wanna talk business.

I'm his manager, you talk to me.

Oh.

Remote controlled robot manager handles business and the driver in there never shows his face.

Two robots out to rule the derby circuit.

I love a good mystery angle.

How'd you fellas like a permanent slot in the show?

What are you going to do if Groundpounder att*cks with his Praxus Piledriver?

Rely on my superior strength to kick his cheatin' metal butt?

You'll need more than strength to stand a chance against Groundpounder in the ring.

You need speed.

Guile.

You have to learn his signature moves and Blah blah blah.

All I need to know is he's a big fat cheater de

-cheaticon.

Hey, Dad, how about if I drive Grimlock?

Sorry, kiddo, you don't have a license.

Since when do you need a license to drive a Dinobot?

Bumblebee to scrapyard, come in.

We've been held up.

What's your status?

The afternoon show is over, with no human injuries.

Yeah.

We're about to head over to the Rumbledome now.

With a few modifications, Grimlock will be a robot in disguise in disguise.

Presenting "Dino

-Bash.

" Looks like it was made out of scrap.

Scrap?

Lucky I don't squash you.

Hm.

Does it at least breathe fire or something?

He's super strong.

Check it out.



( imitating machine whirring ) Is he really gonna make those noises?

Mm, okay.

I guess you're decent enough to get destroyed by Groundpounder.



( crowd cheering )

( suspenseful theme playing ) Rubber Duck to Pig Pen, any sign of our super simian or his coach?

I got nothing.

And I told you, my call sign is Danger Magnet.

DENNY: Sorry, that call sign was taken.

This is Danger Magnet.

I, too, report negative optical contact.

Dino

-Bash to Rubber Duck, I can't find 'em either.

What are you doing out here?

You better mount up, it's almost show time.

Listen, uh, I'm new to all this Smashdown stuff.

I

-I was hoping that we could go over the script.

Get mashed by the new champ.

Make it look good.

That's the script.

Rubber Duck I

-I mean, Denny to Bumblebee, come in.

I read you.

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is I found Groundpounder.

What's the bad news?



( roaring ) He's ready to turn us into Dino

-paste.

BUMBLEBEE: We're just outside the city limits.

Do what you can to stall until we arrive.



( ominous theme playing ) Bring down the smash! CROWD: Bring down the smash! Bring down the smash! Bring down the smash.

Woo

-hoo! Uh, sorry, I was, uh, caught up in the moment.

Tear that mug apart, kid.

FIXIT: Remember, to b*at Groundpounder, fight smart.



- First thing

- It's on like Cybertron.



( yelling ) Ka

-swack!

( yelling )

( grunts )

( groaning ) Your no bucketbolts like the others, aren't you?

You're a legit Dinobot.

You're an embarrassment to your kind.



( grunting ) I'm gonna make you swallow those words and your teeth!

( yells ) Decent escape.

Guess the Alchemor had more than one serious fighter on board.

Grimlock, he dropped his left.

That means he's going to try BOTH: The Gygax Gouger.

Oh! Here comes BOTH: The Hydrax Hammerfist!

( yelling )

( grunts ) Mommy.

Grimlock, listen.

Groundpounder always uses the Praxus Piledriver next.

The whozit whatnow?

Praxus Piledriver!

( grunts ) Dad! Oh, yeah.

Bail out, Denny.

I

-I can't.

The door's jammed.

What do we do?

My dad's gonna get munched.

It's all up to Grimlock.



( crowd cheering ) Huh?



( yelling ) Ka

-swack!

( yells )

( grunts )

( all cheering )

( groaning ) Take it easy.

You'll bring the whole place down.

Get up, ya bum.

Get up!

( laughs ) That's more like it.



( action theme playing )

( both yelling )

( yells )

( screams )

( high

-pitched scream )

( grunts )

( crowd screaming )

( yelling )

( crowd screaming )

( grunting )

( both grunting ) Ow! Hey! Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Headlock.

I knew you were lurking around here somewhere.



( both grunting ) Hey!

( laughing ) Where's Ooh! The airbag?



- FIXIT: Hey, cheater.



- Huh?



( both grunting ) Berrillon Bodyslam!

( grunts ) Sorry, Fixit.

Time to bring the heat! The Fiery Fists of Furnax.

Grimlock, defend yourself.

I don't know how.



( yelling ) Watch me.



( grunting )

( groans )

( yelling ) GRIMLOCK: Cannonball! The crowd goes wild!

( in high

-pitched voice ): Ooh, Grimlock, we knew you could do it.

You're so handsome.

Whoo.

Dad! Are you all right?

Let's never do that again.

Huh?

Ah! Where do you think you're going?

Two Decepticons captured, and no human injuries.

Nice job.

Let's get 'em back to base.

RUSSELL: All hail the new Smashdown champions, Grimlock and Fixit!

( all cheering )

( both giggling )