01x19 - #MyPoober

[bunniefuu]

Hey, I'm back.

Yay.

I love when you're back.

So, did you finish? Yep.

All done.

Look.

What is that? It's a man, made of money.

I call him "Mr.

Bills".

Cat, I told you to count the money.

Why? So we'd know how much we've saved from our babysitting.

Jeez.

Well, I think what Cat did was good.

All right, I can't take this.

Sam, no.

Please don't drink another root beer.

You folded our money into a man.

You've already had three root beers and it's still morning.

I drink the root beer because of you.

Wait.

I'll take Mr.

Bills apart and we can count the money together.

Good girl.

Now, some music.

What are you doing? Well, before I take him apart, I have to dance with him at least once.

I'm never that far.

No matter where you are.

Believe it, we can make it come true.

And I, I, I, I I'll never say, never.

As long as we keep it together.

Oh! If you're living a dream, and you know what it means.

Then you can't let them change your mind.

It's the life that we choose, and we still break the rules.

But it's all gonna be just fine.

Just fine.

You and me we're gonna be just fine.

Oh.

Ten.

Green.

Rectangle.

And done.

Me too.

I got 325.

What'd you get? I got somewhere between Anyway, the cool news is, we have saved a ton of money from babysitting.

Yay! We should open up a special bank account.



- No.

No.

No.



- No? My Uncle Carmine always told me, don't trust banks, banks get robbed.



- Was he a banker?

- No.

He was a robber.

Anyway, you wanna know where we're gonna keep all this money? Yes.

Please tell me now.

We are gonna put it in this.

But that's a pineapple.

You think it's a pineapple.

Yeah.

I think lots of things are pineapples.

Just shut up and watch this.

How did you do that? It's not a real pineapple.

See? It's a secret safe.

Perfect for stashing cash.

I love it.

It's a fruit with a secret.

Yeah.

A secret.

Which means you can't ever tell anyone about our secret pineapple.

Oh, I promise.

And you can't tweet about it.

Ding dong.



- Who's here?

- The kid we're babysitting.

Hi.

You must be Mrs.

Farber.



- Yes.

Hello.



- So, where's your daughter? Oh.

She's waiting down the hall with my husband.



- May I come in?

- Sure.

It's this way.



- Hey.



- Hi.

So, before I bring Ellie in I want to make you an offer.

What's that supposed to mean? Well, Ellie has a little problem.

Aw, man.

She doesn't sniff her fingers, does she? No.

Because I can't deal with little kids who are always sniffing their fingers.

Stop it! I promise, she is not a finger sniffer.

So then what's the problem? It's her stuffed animal.

Poober.

Poober? Yes.

We gave it to her when she turned three years old, and she loved it.

She never let Poober out of her sight.

Aw, that's sweet.

Now, get to the point.

Well, my husband and I thought Ellie would stop carrying Poober around everywhere by the time she was five.

But then she turned six and still She always had to take Poober wherever she went.

Wow.

You've been talking a long time.

Anyway If you girls can get my little Ellie to give up Poober forever I will give you a $500 bonus.

Oh, it's okay.

You don't need to pay us money.



- Oh!

- 500 works.

Good.

Donald, bring in Ellie.

Hey, you see this pineapple? Yes? Nothing.

Yo.

Here she is.

Come on babe, let's go.

That's Ellie? You said she was six.

Oh, she was, five years ago.

Hey, hey come on.

We're gonna be late for Juice Newton.

Go wait in the car.

Well, girls, I think you know what to do.

Ellie, you have fun with Sam and Cat.

Okay, mom.

So, how much money did my mom offer to pay you to get rid of Poober? What? Oh, please.

My parents have been trying to get Poober away from me for years.

We're not gonna take Poober away from you.

I just wanna pet him.

Ow! Paws off.

And if either one of you try to take Poober away from me, you'll be sorry.

Now, you listen here, little Ellie Shh.

Relax.

She's just a feisty little kid.

Kind of reminds me of how I was at her age.

Except I'm cute.

I will show you an old

-fashioned prison b*at down.

No, please don't.

Sam, no.

No, Sam.

Please, Sam, she's just a little girl! Enjoy your meal.

Pretty good hamburger, huh? Yeah.

Now can I have dessert? Let's make a deal.

How about we buy you any two desserts you want.

Mm

-hmm.

And you throw Poober in a toilet.

Ooh, that sounds like a great idea.



- I got a better deal for you.



- What is that? You buy me two desserts and shut up while I eat 'em.



- Sam, no!

- Give me the bear! Give me the bear! Give me the bear! Give it to me! Just give me the bear!

- Sam! Please!

- Give me your little bear! You know Ellie, you don't wanna make Sam angry.

Why shouldn't I? Because you know, Sam seems like a nice girl and all But when she gets angry, she can get kind of Aggressive, hostile, and physically harmful to other people and property? Nailed it.

What are you reading? What your parole officer wrote about you in your file.

On the Seattle Juvenile Detention website.

Uh

-oh.

She knows you did time in juvy.

I don't care.

You will care, if you try to take Poober away from me.

Because I'll just call your parole officer and tell him that Sam Puckett used physical force against an eleven

-year

-old.

And then you'll be back in jail.

Maybe she should keep her Poober.

Well, I don't have a prison record, so maybe I'll just Oi! She's got a firm grip.

Oi.

I gotta join a gym.



- I'm gonna use your bathroom.



- Oh, good, go wazz it up.

Wazz on Poober, why don't you? Sam.

I'll take Poober with me.

Oh, good.

Take Poober with you.

How are we gonna get Poober away from her? Ah, forget about Poober.

I don't even care about the

- Yes.



- Me too.

Oh God, I want it so bad.

Here, just Take your bat and go outside to your hitting tree.



- Why does she have to be such a

- Shh.

Just go and hit your tree till you feel better.

Thanks.

You really get me.



- So, Ellie.



- You're not taking Poober away from me.

I just wanna talk.

What's that sound? Just Sam assaulting a tree.

So, Ellie, can I ask you a question? Go for it.

Why do you carry Poober around with you all the time? It's a secret.

Well, if I tell you a secret, will you tell me yours? I might.

Okay.

See this pineapple? Yeah.

Don't tell Sam I told you, but it's fake.

We keep our money inside.

See? Wow.

That's really smart.

I'm guessing you didn't think of it.

Nope.

So Now will you tell me your secret about why you carry Poober around all the time? Well Well, I guess Because I'm not really that popular.

And I never know if the other kids are gonna like me.

But Poober always did and he always will.

I just feel more okay when Poober's with me.

I guess that makes me a freak, huh? Aw, Ellie! Of course that makes you a freak.

But you can fix that.

How? By realizing that you're nice, you're smart.

And the only reason why people think you're weird is You know Because of your Poober.

So, you think, if I didn't have Poober anymore I could make some friends? Uh

-huh.

Dang it! Uh

-oh.

Hey, I need a new tree and one of our neighbors needs a new car.



- Look what I got.



- What?

- You got Poober?

- Yep.

Now, while you think about all the wonderful times you and Poober have shared together.

I'll go throw him in a dumpster.

No.

No.

No.

We need to make sure that thing stays gone forever.

How? We're gonna send Poober into outer space.

Into outer space.

Why did you say it twice? Just to be clear, Cat.

Just to be clear.

Hey, Dice? Yeah, Gooms? When it's time to launch the rocket, can I be the one who does the countdown? You know you have a hard time counting backwards from ten.

So why can't I just count upwards, from one to ten?

- That's not how you do it.



- Well, it's how I wanna do it.

You guys, we better do this now.

Goomer missed his nap and he is getting cranky.

Come on.



- Okay, we ready?

- We're all set.

Goomer, how long have you been into rockets? Ever since I was a little Goomer.

I like rockets Because they're like big pointy hot dogs that can fly to the stars.

That's beautiful.

Ellie, are you sure you're ready?

- I'm sure.



- Good, give it.

Here.

Okay.

And now I just open this door I'm sorry Dice, whose rocket is this? Whatevs, man.

Now, I will take Mr.

Poober And shove him into this compartment.



- And now

- Wait.

Could I please be alone with Poober for a minute before we send him up into space? Aw, Ellie, sure ya can.



- Totally.



- Of course.

You have 30 seconds.

Did you guys hear a tree fell on my mom's car?

- Let's go launch that rocket.



- Here we go.

All right, Ellie.

You ready to send your little Poober up into outer space? Uh

-huh.

Goodbye, sweet Poober.

Okay.

Ten Nine Uh Wait, don't tell me.

Hey, can I see that for a second? Whoops, my thumb slipped.

Sam!

- We have ignition!

- We have lift

-off! And I have Poober.

You took Poober out of the rocket? Yep.

And I replaced him with your pineapple full of money.

With our pineap Oh no! Uh Oh! I told you if you tried to take Poober away from me, you'd be sorry.

Are you sorry? You look sorry.

I'm gonna go have a little chat with her.

No! Well, all our money's on the stinking moon.

No, it didn't really go into outer space.

The rocket only goes up about 1,000 feet.

Right.

And then it poops out a little parachute Floats across the sky until it lands somewhere.

Where? Yeah.

Where, where, where does it land?

- Well, inside the

- It's my rocket! And I'll answer the questions.

Go ahead.

Thank you.

I do not know.

It's a reusable rocket that has a built

-in tracking system.

See? Great, so we can just use the Pear Pad to find it.



- Yep.



- Well, then let's go.



- I'll get the girl.



- Leave the bat.

Ugh!

- There it is, you see it?

- I see it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Turn left, hang a left.

Left turn.

Hey, Goomer.



- Go easy on the turns, would you?

- Sorry, Kip.



- Who's that guy in back?

- Oh, his name is Kip.

He got thrown out of his apartment, so I let him live in the back of my truck.

Hey, I'm making grilled cheese sandwiches back here.

Anybody want one? How are you cooking back there? With my Heezy Cake Oven.

Yeah, I'll take a grilled cheese.



- I want one.



- Cheese me.



- Thanks.

Grilled cheese?

- Thanks.



- There you go.



- Wow, how will I finish this? Cat, here's yours.

No thanks.

Tiny food scares me.

Gooms, grilled cheese for you.

Hey, hey, hey, it looks like the rocket's coming down.



- I see it, go that way.



- That way! Kumquat! I'm gonna take a sponge bath now.

Hey Cat? Hey.

How did Ellie know that our money was in the pineapple? Um Oh! Spanish talk radio! I wonder what they're saying, I'll turn it up.

Oh.

I know I shouldn't have told Ellie about the pineapple but it seemed like a good move at the time.

Dang it, Cat! At least I didn't tell Dice you made the tree fall on his mom's car.

What? This place is really creepy.

Anybody see the rocket? No.

But this thing says it landed somewhere around here.

What is this place? This is a cemetery.

Oh, good.

Because I need to buy a new swim trunks.

Seriously, we let this guy drive us? Can we please just find the rocket with the pineapple in it and go, please? Why don't we go see if anyone's in that shack there?

- Thank you, guys.

Great idea.



- Oh, brilliant, smart.

Nobody's in here.



- Well, I guess nobody's in there, so

- Come on.

I give up.

Please don't hurt me.



- Goomer.



- Alright.

Ah! Ghosts! Sweet Jupiter, don't snatch my soul.

We're not ghosts.

We're looking for a model rocket about yay big.



- It's filled with money.



- Shut!

- Shut what?

- Up.

Now.

Wait a second, haven't I seen you somewhere before? Well, I used to live in Seattle, where I was a DJ.

And then I worked at The Pear Store for

- That's where I know you from!

- Ah! Man, I should have gone with my dumb parents to see Juice Newton.

Listen.

In the past hour or so, have you seen anything fall down from the sky and land out there? Yeah, I did.

I thought it was a ghost coming down to get me.



- The rocket!

- Where is it? I got scared so I sh*t it with my shotgun.

Your what? You sh*t my rocket? You're so large.

Where's the rocket?

- Open it.



- I know what to do.

Your pineapple's full of b*llet holes.

Yeah.

Thanks for trying to m*rder our money.

I didn't know.

My beautiful space hot dog.

Don't worry, we'll fix it.

We can't fix it.

Okay, you wazz

-bags got your money, so somebody take me home.

Sure.

But first Hey! You guys can't just leave me here in a cemetery shack.

Looks like it's just you and me, kid.

Well, you, me And my ukulele.

It's midnight.

And I'm a

-waiting on a 12:05.

Hoping it'll take me just a little farther down the line.

Ooh! Ah! Playing with the Queen of Hearts.

Knowin' it ain't really smart.

The Joker ain't the only fool That'll do anything for you.

Laying out another lie Por unos momentos, estuve silenciado, pero ahora, me I'd know what he just said if I spoke Spanish.

Yeah.

And you'd understand this.

Si no encontramos nuestra pina llena de dinero tendre que agarrar unas tijeras y cortarse los dedos de los pies.

Gracias?