01x01 - The Birds Don't Sing, They Screech in Pain

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Beef". Aired: April 06, 2023 - present.*
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An incident of road rage slowly consumes the two people involved.
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01x01 - The Birds Don't Sing, They Screech in Pain

Post by bunniefuu »

[distorted, indistinct chatter]

[man] It happens.

- [cashier] How's your day going?

- [man] Really great. How's yours?

[cashier] Fantastic.

[man] Fantastic's, uh, fantastic.

[cashier chuckles] Sure is.

You up to anything fun this weekend?

Just taking it easy,

hanging out with the missus.

- Nice.

- How about you? Doing anything?

[cashier]

Same, brother. Oh, except no missus.

- [man] That might be a good thing.

- [cashier] Yeah.

[man] How is that Thompson's WaterSeal?

[cashier] It's really good.

It's like one of our popular ones.

- [man] Nice.

- [cashier] All right.

- Here's your receipt.

- [man] Thanks.

[cashier] Have a nice day.

Just making a return.

[cashier] Everything okay?

Yeah, just changed my mind.

This is the third time you've bought

and returned these hibachi grills.

Yeah, you know, just charcoal versus gas.

It's hard to decide.

I see you returned

the carbon monoxide detector again?

I thought you guys had

a no-questions-asked policy.

I'm not asking a question.

It's a statement.

Okay.

You got a receipt?

Yeah.

I got it somewhere.

[intercom beeps]

[cashier over intercom]

If you're making a return,

please be sure

to have your receipts ready.

[woman] Oh, come on.

I'll just keep them, then, yeah?

Super helpful.

[sighs]

[engine starts]

Always f*cking something.

[seat belt clicks]

There's always something.

[car horn honking]

What? What?

[horn continues honking]

What is your prob? What?

[car horn honking]

f*ck this.

[tires screeching]

Where you at? Where you at?

Got you.

What the f*ck, man?

[truck horn honking]

[horns honking]

Think I can't get you? f*ck.

Who the f*ck do you think you are, huh?

f*cking sh*t.

f*ck you!

Are you f*cking kidding me?

Show your f*cking face!

Show your f*cking face!

- [car horn honking]

- Show your f*cking f*ck!

Oh, sh*t.

I got you, m*therf*cker.

[tires screeching]

I'm so f*cking sick of this sh*t!

Every f*cking day!

Where the f*ck do you think you're going?

Oh, my God, you f*cking idiot.

What are you doing?

No.

Stop. Stop, stop, stop!

[horn honks]

7-C-7-6-4-F-1.

7-C-7-6-4-F-1.

7-C-7-6-4-F-1.

["Liquid Dreams" playing over stereo]

I dreamed about a girl

Who's a mix of Destiny's Child ♪

Just a little touch

Of Madonna's wild style ♪

With Janet Jackson's ♪

[dramatic music playing]

[cell phone chimes]

Oh.

Are you kidding me?

Figure it out.

Just make it stop.

[George] Amy?

Yeah?

Are you okay?

Did something happen at Forsters?

Oh. No. Everything went great.

Jordan showed me her flagship store,

and she invited us to her home tomorrow.

So, you know, usual lovefest.

Well, then what's going on?

You seem all riled up.

Babe.

Come on.

Talk to me.

Okay, well, um

after the meeting,

I was sitting in the parking lot,

thinking about how many meetings and calls

I've had to do for the last two years.

Still somehow there's no offer coming,

and it just really got to me, you know?

Then I started driving

and there was this guy

Amy, before you spiral

I'm gonna have you stop right there.

Take a deep breath.

Pause.

You've got to start focusing

on the positive, okay?

You know, maybe we should start doing

the gratitude journals again.

[girl] Daddy!

I need more markers!

Our little artist.

Uh

Gratitude journals.

Yeah, you're right. Let's do it.

Thanks, babe.

Come on.

- [Amy gasps] Junie!

- Mommy, we missed you!

I missed you too, sweetie.

Look at the vase Daddy made.

- Oh.

- I think you're gonna love it.

Yeah, you're right, Junie. I do love it.

You're still cool with selling it

at your store, right, babe?

- Mm-hm.

- I mean, if you've changed your mind

it's okay.

They're just not really selling

at the gallery, so I don't know.

I can do it.

Paul.

Paul!

Hey, you home?

Yo. You see a Forsters receipt anywhere?

I'm in the middle of a game.

Dude, pick up after yourself, man.

You hear me?

[Paul] I'm in the middle of a game.

Yo, this f*cking guy today,

he starts honking at me, right?

So I chased him down,

scared the sh*t out of that m*therf*cker.

That's what's wrong

with the world today, man.

They want you to feel like

you have no control.

You know?

Like you're gonna eat sh*t

with a smile on your face or some sh*t.

f*ck that, dude.

f*ck it, man!

I don't wanna

I'm so sick of smiling, dude.

[cell phone ringing]

Hi.

[woman in Korean]

It's Mom. Have you been good?

[in Korean] Yes, Mom. How are you and Dad?

Living with your uncle has been tough.

- Hmm?

- Dad and I fight every day too.

[in English] What?

I don't think he wants to work anymore.

Why would I want to work at my age?

I don't even have time to eat breakfast!

Mom, Dad, don't worry.

[in English] Business is good.

[in Korean]

I'll buy that land you always wanted.

[in English] I'll build a big house.

Sure.

[in Korean] No, really!

Anyway, stop worrying about us.

Find a nice Korean girl at church

and get married.

Start a family.

[in English] Okay.

[speaks Korean]

[father] And it'd be nice

if Paul started making some money.

[in Korean]

He doesn't even leave his room.

How's he gonna make money?

[in English]

Hey, I just bought this chain for two Gs.

What the f*ck did you guys do?

[in Korean] I'll call you back.

- [in English] Paul can't play right now.

- What the f*ck is your problem?

- You making that money off crypto?

- It's none of your business.

It is if you're gonna lose all your money.

I know what I'm doing. All right?

No, you don't, dude.

You promised you wouldn't do that sh*t.

That's why I made more than you this week.

I don't have to fix toilets.

I've been busting my ass

since Mom and Dad lost the motel.

And you're gonna gamble

while they're going to work for Samchon?

Should you be lecturing me

when you're the one who let Isaac

run his shady sh*t at the motel?

- It's why we lost it in the first place.

- He's our cousin.

I did not know.

Our family's a bunch of f*cking losers.

Write down all your passwords.

- All of them. All your accounts.

- What the f*ck are you talking about?

I'm gonna change it

so you can't access that sh*t.

Are you f*cking serious?

Yo, write down all your sh*t,

or you can start paying rent.

All right.

Did you eat?

[Amy] Yes, you're absolutely right.

I didn't think of that.

Mm.

No, I know. It's just, uh

I'm the owner so there's no one

higher up you can speak to

Hello?

Hello?

Your husband's brilliant.

Yeah.

No, he is. Um

The globs, they don't feel

too out of place in here?

No, I think it's exactly

what the store needed.

It's a good thought.

It's a very positive thought.

I mean, you're both brilliant.

Your life,

it's, like, such an inspiration.

Thanks, Mia.

I wake up every day feeling very lucky.

[Mia] You know, I got into design, like,

right after we studied

Haru Nakai's work in college.

[Amy]

Ah. Yeah, George's dad was very special.

We miss him every day.

[speaks Japanese]

What?

That means "I'm sorry" in Japanese, right?

Cool.

Thanks.

[woman] Love the space.

Oh. Appreciate you, Mama.

Let us know if you have

any questions, okay?

Oh, my God. Amy Lau.

Could we get a photo together?

Of course.

I got it.

I've been buying your plants

online for years.

I just thought I should stop by the store.

- Oh, I love that.

- [camera clicks]

I read your interview in Calabasas Style

and I just wanna say

I really look up to you

and how you live your life.

Thank you.

I don't know how you keep it all together.

Yeah, so he drove off

and I pretty much just played it cool.

He's lucky though

'cause I would've gone nuts on him.

I did get his license plate.

Lot of crazy drivers these days.

Yeah, yeah, I hear you.

[Danny] All right.

- Okay.

- [Danny] There she is.

I put in my own grout by the way.

Grout's easy.

Okay, cool.

Yeah, it looks great, so

Hey, bud, do you happen to have

those referrals I was asking about?

- Remember I texted you about those?

- Yeah. Um

You know, I asked around

and all my friends have a handyman so

Contractor.

I'm a contractor.

Yeah, yeah.

Of course, yeah, totally. Totally. Um

By the way, if you know

of a good tree trimmer,

let me know, 'cause I've been

meaning to cut these bad boys.

I could do it.

Hmm? Oh.

I mean, don't you need like

a certification or something?

What, are you gonna get

a guy with, like, five stars on Yelp?

Those reviews are fake, man.

They're totally fake.

Look, I'll come back tomorrow

with some dudes, 600 bucks.

It would be nice to get it done. Um

Five-fifty?

[both chuckling]

Uh My guy.

- Only 'cause it's you.

- All right. See you tomorrow.

- Great.

- Okay, great. Yep.

[woman over intercom]

Did you fire him yet?

[man over intercom]

No. He's trimming the trees.

[woman] Okay, you have to fire him

after that. He's so annoying.

[man] I know.

I know, he really is.

It's perfect.

Just like you.

Can you go get me your other paintings?

Okay.

[Fumi] She needs a real art teacher.

Your father always said

it's not about talent, it's about taste.

[George] Yeah, I know what you mean, Mom.

Guys, I don't wanna

put pressure on Junie, okay?

I mean, painting helps with her anxiety

and she just stopped

picking her skin, so

But you know, we always appreciate

your advice, Fumi.

And thank you so much

for babysitting tomorrow.

A grandmother should spend time

with her grandchild.

Yeah, and tomorrow's gonna be

a really big day

because Jordan has finally invited us

to her home.

Amy has been working

so hard on this sale, Mom.

Kōyōhaus could be in every Forsters

all over the country.

What she should do

is move her store to Rodeo Drive.

- Ooh. I'll look into that.

- [George] Hey.

Even if it all falls through,

we have everything we need

right here, right, guys?

- George.

- [Fumi] Joji.

Your whole house needs a remodel.

Right, and, you know,

you're the one who wanted Junie

in all those mindfulness classes

and organic gardening playgroups, so

All that matters is that June thrives

as her truest self.

- Well, no one thrives for free, so

- My sister was a loud eater.

And you know, three years ago

her husband was struck by a train.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

Oh, sh*t.

Yo, D!

What's up, big boy?

Yo.

- Oh, my God.

- So sexy.

- Oh!

- [Danny] What's up, man? Good to see you.

Good to see you. Oh, my God.

Dude, so sexy, man.

- Thank you.

- Come on, man. You look so good.

You look good.

- Have you been working out?

- Little bit.

[in Korean] Miss, two ox bone soups.

- [in English] What's up?

- What's up, coz?

How you doing? You look healthy.

Three months out of jail.

Thank God for the f*cking Filipinos.

- They had my back in there.

- Yeah.

What about you, man? What's going on?

Um, it's good.

Yeah, it's good. It's busy.

- Busy's good.

- Yeah.

My folks are having a

- You know, having a rough time but, um

- Mm.

Yeah, since the motel.

I feel like they're stuck in Korea

'cause of me.

- Kind of shitty.

- All right.

Like I told the cops,

you didn't do anything wrong.

I didn't do anything wrong.

I was just the middle man, okay?

Who knew you could

counterfeit baby formula?

I didn't know. No one knew that, right?

Yeah, totally,

no one knew that, so I mean

You're back up on your feet.

It's all good. We love that.

It's all good. Everybody's good.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

All right, man,

I just need a little money.

[in Korean] Miss, over here!

My bad. My bad.

[in English] Can you lube my p*ssy

with kimchi juice before you?

- I'll pay you back.

- There's no soup. I just f*cking sat down.

We haven't even eaten yet!

Can we eat before you?

Isaac. Okay. I'm sorry. My bad.

Sorry for yelling, first of all.

I need to work on that. Um

I'm gonna give you the money.

I feel bad about the motel,

so I'm gonna give you 20K.

I'm just asking you,

is there any way we can enjoy this meal?

Dude, yes.

- Hey, cheers, please.

- Thank you.

[speaking Spanish]

[chuckles] Okay, here we go.

[Amy] I can't wait to cash out

and just stay home with June.

Remember, if you have a bad trip,

I'm here for you.

I've been microdosing to up my creativity.

It's fine.

This mushroom dinner

is just a means to an end.

It's not enough for people like Jordan

to own a retail empire,

they need to see God.

[George]

Paul McCartney once saw God on a trip

and said that God

looked like a massive wall.

Say sh*t like that inside.

[car horn honking]

Hey, by the way,

if I go to a spiritual place tonight,

just let me go alone, okay?

Wait. What?

[crows cawing]

[workers chattering in Spanish]

You hear that?

Crows love me.

See?

No problemo.

Come on, Danny.

Come on, Danny.

[car horn honking]

f*ck!

- [workers speaking Spanish]

- [Danny groaning]

Oh, f*ck.

Oh, my God.

Holy sh*t!

Lunch is on me, guys.

[man over intercom]

Danny, can we talk to you for a minute?

[woman] Just fire him.

It's an ugly-ass house anyway.

Yo. Where you going? Get in the car.

My boy's picking me up.

- Dude, just get in the car, Paul.

- He lives super close.

All right.

[driver] Uber for Paul?

Mushrooms are the cornerstone

of every ecosystem.

So as CEO of the Forsters Corporation,

I am happy to announce

that we've partnered with a few nonprofits

in the exploration of fungal utility.

Medicine.

What the hell is that?

Babe, it's a mushroom pizza.

George, they're normal mushrooms.

This is so stupid.

As my father used to say,

"You can eat any mushroom once."

[all laughing, then applauding]

[glass clinking]

Hi. Sorry. Hi. Before we dig in,

I just need to take a moment

to say a toast to our inspiring host,

my sister-in-law Jordana Forster.

I remember the first time

you took me foraging.

We were visiting my motherland

[on voicemail]

You've reached Brianna Kinsley Realty.

- Please leave a message.

- [voicemail beeps]

Hi, this is Danny Cho. I'm calling

about the Summit Drive property.

I run a very successful

residential construction company

and I'm very serious about buying.

So please call me back. Thank you so much.

Hi, this is Danny Cho again.

I just called

about the Summit Drive property.

I wasn't sure if this is a landline.

Here's my number just in case.

818-555-4181.

Hi, Danny again.

I also have money.

For the down payment.

I forgot to mention that. I have money.

Please call me back.

[cell phone chimes]

f*ck.

There's always something. What the f*ck?

[groans]

[indistinct chatter]

You never mentioned

you were married to Haru Nakai's son.

- Hello?

- Well, I didn't know you were a fan.

- Yes.

- You know what?

You should come to this gallery opening

tomorrow night.

George is loaning

one of his father's pieces.

Really? I would love that.

Nobody else in my family

understands culture.

That's why Forsters

has been stuck in the past.

That's why you're here.

To change that.

See? I like you.

You have this serene

Zen Buddhist thing going on.

Well, you know, just doing me.

[bartender] Here you are.

- Thanks very much. Thanks.

- Thank you.

Listen, obviously I didn't invite you here

just to eat weird sh*t.

I don't even like mushrooms.

- Except for the magic kind.

- Mm-hm.

There's an offer being drawn up.

Expect a term sheet tomorrow.

Oh, my God.

Thank you so much, Jordan.

I can't wait to see

what you do with Kōyōhaus.

Okay, there'll be a few weeks

of due diligence.

A couple of months, max.

Yeah, of course. No skeletons here.

Good.

Don't f*ck this up.

'Cause you and I both know

I could just go to China

and copy your sh*t for less.

Yeah. I mean, let's keep

the jobs in America, right?

Totally.

Cheers.

[tires screeching]

[George snoring]

[Amy] Oh, thank God.

[beeping]

What the f*ck?

[June screams] Mommy!

[Amy] Hey.

Hey, hey.

Hey, it was just a bad dream,

sweetie, okay?

You can go back to sleep. Mama's here.

What if the nightmare comes back?

Well, um

you know, whenever I have a bad dream,

I just think of a happy time.

You do?

Yeah.

In fact, I think

of a happy time with you, Junie.

I think about the day you were born.

You know, for the longest time

you were growing inside of Mama's belly.

And then all of a sudden, poof.

You were right there, looking back at me.

And then the crazy part was

you were already you.

I remember the hospital bed.

I remember the

the blanket around your little face.

It was 4:00 a.m.

and the whole city was silent.

No meetings.

No e-mails.

No pretending.

It was just you and me.

And there was nothing wrong

anywhere in the entire universe.

I wish we could've stayed there.

[Danny] Nobody understands.

f*ck you.

You don't even know.

And when I'm dead, you will see.

You will f*cking see.

"To ensure high CO levels,

wait for hibachis

to set off the detector." I did that.

[carbon monoxide detector beeping]

No, this is not it.

Ah! f*ck.

[gasps]

[beeping stops]

Jesus, it's been there the whole time.

[dramatic music playing]

This f*cking guy.

[June giggling]

You gotta catch me!

[Amy] Hey, sweetheart,

do we have any nine-volt batteries?

[George] Uh, I don't think so. Why?

Uh, I just think we need to replace some.

Uh, in what?

I'll take a look later.

I think in the safe?

Why were you opening the safe?

Uh, well, you know, I've been seeing

all these Nextdoor posts

and people are fricking crazy out there.

Well, I changed the combo.

Oh. Well, maybe

You don't think, like,

I should have the new combo?

What if something bad happens,

like someone follows me home or something?

Amy.

You know why I didn't tell you.

Dad?

Wait, sweetie.

Hey, stop, honey.

Okay, you have a wonderful day. Okay?

And you tell Mommy

all about it later, all right?

[June] Mom.

Stop.

Come on, Dad, let's go.

[door opens, then closes]

377 Bon Homme Road.

"377 Bon Homme.

I live at 377 Bon Homme."

f*cking d*ck-ass.

One-one-one-four.

One-one-one-four.

320, 3

Where the f*ck is 377? What the f*ck?

[beeps]

[Danny] You didn't think I would find you?

I'm gonna find you, m*therf*cker.

Oh, I'm gonna whoop your f*cking

What?

You wanna go? Let's go.

Let's f*cking go right now.

You wanna f*cking go?

Let's f*cking go, m*therf*cker!

- [g*n clicks]

- [moans]

[Danny] Bon Homme.

Bon Homme. Bon Homme.

"E.T. Bon Homme."

- [g*n clicking]

- [moaning]

Yum.

Where the f*ck do you live?

[doorbell rings]

Hi.

Can I help you?

Sorry to bother you.

I'm a contractor working down the street.

Did you remodel recently?

Uh, yeah. Why?

Well, I couldn't help but notice

that your rooftop conduits

don't have supports.

It's an electrical hazard.

What?

I'm not trying

to make any money off of you.

I just thought I'd come and let you know

so you can get your guy to fix it.

Hey, you're not some kind

of weirdo, right?

'Cause if you are,

you should know that I own a g*n.

Like I said, miss,

I'm just trying to be helpful.

Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.

I'll be on my way.

Hey, no, just wait a second.

Okay? I'll be right there, just

Hi.

Hi.

Thank you so much

for checking out the roof.

I really appreciate it.

Yeah, of course.

Is there anything else

you want me to look at while I'm here?

Oh, no, we just did this whole remodel.

Everything in the kitchen is brand-new

and my mother-in-law

thinks it's all basic,

but I don't know,

I feel like I did a good job.

Oh, you did good, all right.

Well, please tell that to her

and my husband.

Is he home right now?

Um

He won't be home for a while.

[Danny] Mm.

Oh.

He's Japanese.

Yeah.

Hey, where's your garage?

You know, we actually had to have

two different companies

do the cabinetry.

It was a whole thing.

Took forever to finish.

- Hmm.

- But you know, it worked out.

Ah, yeah, definitely see some warp here.

I'm sorry. Are you serious right now?

Yeah, it's just absorbing

all this moisture.

- f*ck. There's always something.

- Yes.

There's always something.

It's, like, you work so hard for so long

just to provide for your family, right?

Yeah. If not you, then who's gonna?

- [Amy] Yeah, exactly.

- Yeah.

And then at some point,

you think you'd get to relax, but no.

There's too much moisture, so now

I gotta redo these f*cking cabinets.

I gotta redo the roof probably,

and then by the time I'm done,

I'm running out of money,

the kitchen's out of style,

and the whole time,

all I wanted was a f*cking hot tub.

You have a timeless kitchen.

So I think you're okay.

- [chuckles]

- I'm sorry. I just

I'm just tired.

Oh, don't be sorry. You're fine.

I'm I feel you. I understand.

That's a nice car.

Your husband like driving this?

Uh, he actually drives

the minivan for the kid

and I drive the luxury car for work.

Nice.

Yeah.

Do you mind if I use your restroom?

Hey, babe, call me back when you get this.

I'm so upset.

Thank God this contractor came over

and he caught everything.

- [door opens]

- Our f*cking cabinets

Oh, you know, I gotta go.

Hey, thanks again for everything.

We should exchange numbers

I'm late for an appointment

so I gotta go. Bye.

What the f*ck?

["The Reason" playing]

What the f*ck?

[song continues intermittently]

Hey! Hey!

[inaudible dialogue]

There's many things I wish I didn't do ♪

But I continue learning ♪

[horn blaring]

I never meant

To do those things to you ♪

6-R-K-P-6-3-2.

6-R-K-P-6-3-2.

6-R-K-P-6-3-2.

That I just want you to know ♪

I've found a reason for me ♪

To change who I used to be ♪

A reason to start over new ♪

And the reason is you ♪

I'm sorry that I hurt you ♪

It's something

I must live with every day ♪

And all the pain I put you through ♪

I wish that I could take it all away ♪

And be the one

Who catches all your tears ♪

That's why I need you to hear ♪
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