01x04 - If You Can't Be an Athlete, Be an Athletic Supporter

[bunniefuu]

Children are traumatized.

Parents are calling for your heads.

You've created a public crisis.

[DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC]

You told the principal
I tried to seduce you?

My job was at stake.

You can't just pretend
this didn't happen.

I don't usually do those school dances.

You are all being punished.

You will help me out
with whatever I need.

Can we start with a wardrobe makeover?

There are a lot of kids in Rydell

who are sick of feeling like
they're not welcome here.

- We haven't officially met.
- I'm Hazel.

Do you actually believe all
those things you've been saying?

I would like to honor our tradition.

I have a vision...

a Fall Ball that's fun for everyone.

♪ I'll take the wheel ♪

- [SCREAMS]
- Buddy! Are you okay?

- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Yes, please hurry.

[DORSEY BURNETTE'S "(IT'S NO) SIN"]

[MELLOW VOCALIZING]

♪

♪ Take away the breath of flowers ♪

- ♪ It would surely be a sin ♪
- [EXCITED INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ Take that rain from April showers ♪

♪ It's a sin ♪

Get your nose out of that book!

We have a crisis here!

"The Rydell Review" is
spreading lies about us.

Hey! I have a book report due Monday,

and that book's really interesting!

[FANCY ACCENT] More
interesting than your real life?

Yeah. That's the point of books.

What are you doing?

[NORMALLY] So many favors for you.

I can't believe they're blaming us

for Buddy Butterfeet breaking his arm.

It's not our fault he's got weak bones!

That make the most
satisfying sound when snapped.

This article makes it
sound like I pushed him.

It's not like they
were gonna win anyway.

Our football team is lousy.

When you become president,

promise me you'll abolish football.

You wouldn't believe

how much money they
spend on their costumes.

- Uniform.
- Costumes.

Meanwhile, I'm having to
mend Depression-era rags

for the play.

They smell like government soup.

♪ I'll keep loving you forever ♪

♪ 'Cause it's no sin ♪

What? We're getting blamed
for everything again.

What's new?

Isn't this rag run by
Mr. Daniels, your...

uh.

[MELLOW VOCALIZING]

What did happen between you two,

if you don't mind us asking?

♪ Is it a sin ♪

[SIGHS]

We were in love.

[ALL GASP]

[SIGHS]

It started with me staying after class,

just looking for a quiet place to read.

[CHUCKLES] He was so easy to talk to.

We'd go on all afternoon
about books, poetry, life.

And then one day, we kissed.

[GASPS]

It sounds cheap, but
it wasn't. [CHUCKLES]

We were crazy for each other.

[SIGHS]

Until one day, McGee
caught us in his office,

and he blamed everything on me.

Wow. You were dating a teacher.

And you thought you loved school.

He's a fink.

- Nancy!
- What?

He sold her down the river.

She's got a point. He's a fink.

I think what we're trying to say

is that he doesn't deserve you.

[SIGHS] It's fine. I
barely think of him anyway.

Well, I'm thinking of him.

Dropping dead.

Painfully!

On fire.

In a ditch.

- Thanks, girls.
- [CHUCKLES]

Covered in maggots.

[LAUGHTER]

[ENERGETIC ROCK MUSIC]

[ENGINE REVVING AND TIRES SQUEALING]

♪

There is little green men on Mars?

No, I'm not saying little green men.

I'm just saying we
haven't fully investigated.

Given the infinite
scope of the universe,

it'd be kind of crazy if there
weren't extraterrestrials.

I can't believe what I'm hearing.

I thought you were into
science, not crazy theories.

Science is just crazy
theories with evidence.

Okay, okay. So you're smart.

- And crazy.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]

Buddy, over here. Hey, what's up?

So do you want to come over
to my house on Saturday?

- NUMEROUS: No.
- Why not?

- Don't think I will.
- [LAUGHTER AND CHATTER]

Your mom makes terrible food.

I didn't know it was cat food!

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

- [WORDS ECHOING]
- [LAUGHS] How?

[INDISTINCT ECHOING CHATTER]

[SPARSE DOWNBEAT MUSIC]

♪

Bye, Hazel.

♪

[SUSPENSEFUL ROCK MUSIC]

Hi, Hazel.

♪

Jeez.

Everyone really does hate us.

The election is in three days.

What are we gonna do?

Well, popularity was nice for
the five minutes it lasted.

We were popular?

I didn't even have time to
use it to exploit my enemies!

Speaking of.

Oh, Buddy!

Why did they have to
break your throwing arm?

I can't believe Jane did this to you!

Does it hurt?

What are you doing?

Using it. People loved FDR.

Not my parents, but people.

- I don't want pity votes.
- Why not?

They count just as
much as regular votes.

- Maybe more.
- Ow, Susan.

- I hope we can win the game.
- Ow, Susan.

Susan, my arm is broken.

What's cookin', good lookin'?

Oh, not much.

Just getting blamed for everything.

Welcome to my world.

Last week, I got accused of
stealing some dope's protractor.

Do I like someone in
need of protracting?

People are forgetting all the reasons

they didn't want to vote for Buddy.

We just need to remind them.

- No.
- Dreadful idea.

You can't go after a
guy who's down and out.

It looks classless.

And that's coming from her.

As your campaign manager,
I order you to lay low

until all of this blows over.

Whatever you do is only
gonna make you look worse.

Do nothing.

But I don't know how to do nothing.

I could teach you.

Okay.

I still don't know
how I feel about this.

Ah, ladies!

Watch out.

Calamity Jane's on a rampage again.

- [SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
- [LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]

Due to recent violent off-campus events,

Principal Nicholson has determined

that you are no longer permitted

to wear g*ng-affiliated
attire at school.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Fork over your jackets.

You can collect them
at the end of the day.

But Ms. McGee...

Don't fight it.

Thank you.

- Thank you.
- No, no...

no! [GASPS]

Promise me you will use wooden hangers.

That reminds me, Miss Nakagawa,

I have a job for you today,

but it requires your utmost discretion.

Follow me.

If you are inviting me to be
part of your witches coven,

I am interested.

[SOFT SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Hello! Hens in the rooster house!

♪

I have never been in here.

♪

[SUSPENSEFUL PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]

♪

[GASPS]

It's hideous.

It's yours.

[SHUDDERS]

This will be good for you, Nancy.

You'll see Rydell differently
through Rowdy's eyes.

I should know because I once
filled these hooves myself.

So that's when you
lost your self-respect?

The truth is,

I've had trouble recruiting for the job.

Sounds like a personal problem.

Have you considered
talking to a psychiatrist?

Often.

Nancy, you do not have
a choice in this matter,

and it would be a great help to me.

This is very important
to Principal Nicholson.

[SIGHS]

♪

I want money to make new costumes

for the school play this year.

Make that happen, and
I'll be your filthy horse.

Deal.

But remember, for the
sanctity of the position,

your identity must stay secret.

Tell no one.

♪

That won't be an issue.

♪

How could you do this to me, Ms. McGee?

You're dashing my dreams, my spirit.

I work in public
education. I'm used to it.

♪

My dear players...

as you all know, I've had my
heart set on a full production

of Bertolt Brecht's
provocative anti-w*r play.

"Mother Courage." [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

But certain students...

have brought the ire of the
conformist powers that be

upon us.

[PAPERS SLAP]

So now, we are tasked

with the vapid morality tale

of two horndog teenagers
whose punishment is tough.

Ring-a, ding, ding.

Auditions are forthcoming.

Prepare.

♪

You would have made such an
incredible Mother Courage.

- I know.
- You'll shine in any role.

- You have the range.
- I know. It's just...

[SIGHS]

"R&J," it's trite.

Maybe it won't be so bad.

Romeo seems like a real nosebleed,

but this Mar-cuttio guy seems cool.

That's Floyd's role.

Don't we have to audition?

As a formality.

But we all know how this is going to go.

I will play Juliet,
Arthur will be Romeo,

and Floyd will be Mercutio.

And the rest will be...

peasants.

[THEATRE KIDS SNICKER]

[INDISTINCT WHISPERING CHATTER]

♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

But that certainly
increased the tensions

among the colonists, truly
infuriating the colonists.

They were mad at the king,

so they threw all their tea overboard,

which is so childish, if you ask me.

♪

Not that I'm complaining,

but what happened to your jacket?

It's at the Mind Your
Own Business Bureau.

- You should visit.
- [CHUCKLES] No, thanks.

I'm still enjoying the view here.

[CHUCKLES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[WOLF WHISTLE]

[SNICKERING]

- Hey!
- Boys.

Be a gentleman.

Mr. Ford, can I go next?

Not in that, you can't.

I'm wearing the same thing as Polly.

Not in the same way. It's
distracting to the boys.

To the principal's office, please.

[JEERS AND LAUGHTER]

[SIGHS] You're right.

[SARCASTICALLY] I'm so, so sorry.

[DRAMATIC JAZZ MUSIC]

♪

♪ I didn't mean to cause a scene ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ You can't stop your eyes wandering ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ And I'm just simply existing ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ But you can't handle my
je ne sais quoi, though, no ♪

♪ Oh, what a world ♪

♪ They got all this clout ♪

♪ But one little look rings their bell ♪

[BELL RINGS]

♪ Oh, what a world ♪

♪ It's somehow my fault ♪

♪ The boys cannot control themselves ♪

♪ Apologies on behalf
of Eve and Cleopatra ♪

♪ Helen of Troy, and the ladies after ♪

♪ We've got the boys
acting all bananas ♪

♪ Sorry, -orry, -orry,
orry that we distract ya ♪

ALL: Ooh!

♪ Men keep the hold of control ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ Presidents around the globe ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ Got all of the nuclear codes ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ But they can't handle
décolletage, though, no ♪

♪ Oh, what a world ♪

♪ It's somehow my fault ♪

♪ That boys cannot control their cool ♪

♪ I'm pretty sure, as
commander in chief ♪

♪ I'd follow karat rules ♪

- ♪
- [RHYTHMIC MARCHING]

♪

♪ So apologies on behalf
of Eve and Cleopatra ♪

♪ Helen of Troy, and the ladies after ♪

♪ We've got the boys
acting all bananas ♪

♪ Sorry, -orry, -orry,
orry that we distract ya ♪

♪ Da, ba, da, da ♪

♪

♪ Da-ah-ah, da, da, da-ah, da ♪

♪ Interesting how we
give all the power ♪

♪ To the ones who play
victim to their nature ♪

♪ Interesting how we
give all the power ♪

♪ To the ones who can't handle it ♪

♪ All while keeping
their belt buckles done ♪

♪ Apologies on behalf
of Eve and Cleopatra ♪

♪ Helen of Troy, and the ladies after ♪

♪ We've got the boys
acting all bananas ♪

♪ Sorry, -orry, -orry,
orry that we distract ya ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Sorry, -orry, -orry,
orry that we distract ya ♪

♪ Da, dah-ah-ah, ba, ba da, da, da-ah ♪

♪ Sorry, -orry, -orry,
orry that we distract ya ♪

[ALL SIGH]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

I just got kicked out of class,

and McGee made me put
on this stupid sweater.

It's so unfair!

This paper is spreading lies about us,

and I'm not leaving until you
agree to print a retraction.

We're too busy for retractions.

We're late on printing today's paper.

Besides, Ernie wrote
a first-rate article.

He interviewed eyewitnesses,
spoke with the administration.

The administration?
They have it out for us.

[TYPEWRITERS CLICKING]

[SIGHS] Look, if you
don't print a retraction,

at least let me write a response.

- You?
- [ROOM QUIETS]

Olivia is a very good writer.

But only kids who are part
of "The Rydell Review" staff

can write for the paper,

and it's a whole application process.

She's in. We need the help.

And words in minutes.

[SOFT DRAMATIC JAZZ MUSIC]

♪

[TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING]

Oh, wow. Wow.

"The administration can blame us,

they can unfairly take away our jackets,

but they can't take away our mission

to make Rydell fun for everyone."

"McGee is just a lily-livered
Nicholson henchwoman

with no mind of her own?"

What a gas!

- I'm definitely voting pink.
- [THEATER KIDS SNAPPING]

I think they like it?

What? Everyone does.

You reminded them why

they wanted to vote for
us in the first place.

You said it all when I couldn't.

- Thank you.
- [CHUCKLES]

[XYLOPHONE PLAYING]

Ding, ding, ding, ding.

It has come to my attention

that some students feel they
are being unfairly targeted,

so in the interest of impartiality,

we will be instituting a brand-new,

school-wide dress code.

Effective tomorrow,

boys will be required to wear
long-sleeved button-up shirts.

Might as well put me in a straitjacket.

No sneakers,

no T-shirts, no dungarees.

Ladies will be required to
wear skirts below the knee

and shirts up to the neck.

- No tight clothing, or loud colors.
- [GASPS]

And most importantly,

to end the divisions among us

and become a truly united Rydell,

absolutely no jackets!

[ALL GASPING]

This is Assistant Principal
McGee saying have a nice day.

And remember, you heard it here first.

- No jackets?
- No jackets?

- Why would we vote for her?
- Thanks a lot, ladies.

Yeah, Jane, way to go.

[QUIRKY DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪

All right, ladies. You may go.

Go straight to heck.

Now I can't wear my
boyfriend's letterman jacket.

That's the whole point of
dating a football player!

And because I'm keen on him. [GIGGLES]

Hey, Pink Ladies.

Because of your whining,

the band isn't allowed to
play Ellington this year

because it might...

[IMITATING MCGEE] Inspire
further delinquency.

[NORMALLY] Thanks a lot.

♪

We never had these problems with Buddy.

How could we vote for her
if it's gonna be like this?

It's all her fault.

Why did Jane try to change things?

We had way less problems
before she ran for president.

This is so unfair. We
have to do something.

I don't know. Maybe you're right.

Every time we try to fight
it, it just makes things worse.

Excuse me.

[DOWNBEAT MUSIC]

Oh, jeez!

No, yours is good. I
look like my mother.

I look like a dentist!

- Oh, don't look at me.
- W-why not?

- You make a good square.
- [SCOFFS]

Yeah?

Maybe you want to explore some
other shapes with me after school.

How about now? Let's cut class.

[CHUCKLING] Whoa.

Brainy Janey wants to cut class.

You said you could teach
me how to do nothing.

I'm ready to learn.

- [SNAPS FINGERS]
- [SCOFFING GROAN]

[SUSPENSEFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]

- Okay, rebel.
- [BOTH LAUGH]

♪

[JANE GIGGLES] Come
on, come on, come on.

♪

You allowed them to
print insults about me.

I would expect more from you.

You are a faculty
member, and you need...

[SPARSE TENSE MUSIC]

♪

What was that about?

Can I help you, Miss Valdovinos?

[SCOFFS]

Well, Mr. Daniels,

I'm ready to write another piece,

a response to this
ridiculous new dress code.

We have to warn kids that while
the blame may start with us...

- No.
- You haven't even heard my angle.

Your piece was good.
That's why I ran it.

But "The Rydell Review"
isn't your personal bullhorn.

What about the First Amendment?

This is censorship.

[SIGHS] It's high
school. You're teenagers.

You don't have any rights or power.

Yeah, I'm aware.

Being a newspaper club
means taking on assignments.

Your next assignment is words

on why Rydell is going to
trounce the Titans tonight.

Football? No, thanks.

Unless you complete an
article I can sign off on,

you'll have to quit newspaper.

[BELL RINGING]

[TENSE JAZZ MUSIC]

♪

Should we get back?

How long have we been here?

- Four minutes?
- [SIGHS]

I'm sorry. This is not working.

All I can think about
is how it's so unfair

that everyone's blaming
us for everything

and how I'll probably
get detention for cutting,

and then I'll have another
mark on my permanent record,

and then I'll never
get to go to college.

Jeez. Aren't you tired?

Of what?

Caring about everything.

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Here.

♪

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪

♪ I'm ready to care less ♪

♪ I want to be careless ♪

♪ The bliss of oblivious is calling me ♪

♪ A little bit reckless,
nonchalant freshness ♪

♪ The bliss of this dress
is just so heavenly ♪

♪ Finally, breathing deep ♪

♪ Let the weight waterfall
off of your shoulders ♪

♪ Suddenly ♪

- ♪ All I need is you and me ♪
- ♪ You and me ♪

BOTH: ♪ Living life so carelessly ♪

♪ Carelessly, carelessly ♪

BOTH: ♪ Carelessly ♪

♪ Carelessly, carelessly ♪

♪ I want to be thoughtless ♪

♪ I want to just exist ♪

♪ And get all that tension
right out of your head ♪

♪ We're never gonna save
the world in one day ♪

♪ There's plenty of time
to worry when you're dead ♪

♪ Finally, breathing deep ♪

♪ Let the weight waterfall
off of your shoulders ♪

♪ Suddenly ♪

- ♪ All I need is you and me ♪
- ♪ You and me ♪

BOTH: ♪ Living life so carelessly ♪

♪ Carelessly, carelessly ♪

BOTH: ♪ Carelessly ♪

♪ Carelessly, carelessly ♪

♪ I'm ready to care less ♪

♪ I want to be careless ♪

♪ The bliss of oblivious is calling me ♪

[WIND BLOWING]

♪

BOTH: ♪ Reckless ♪

♪ Recklessly free with no vengeance ♪

♪ Living life without pretensions ♪

♪ Feelings stray rough round the edges ♪

♪

♪ Carelessly ♪

[BIRDS SINGING]

- [WHISTLE BLOWS]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

All right, bring it in, fellas!

Gonna be straight with you, boys.

It doesn't look good.

We put all of our
eggs in Buddy's biceps.

In retrospect, that was shortsighted.

That's on me.

Wally, you're the new
starting quarterback.

- Whoa.
- Me?

[LAUGHING] Oh, wow! Thanks, Coach!

[SCREAMS]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHTER]

This is how auditions
have been for years?

We have to change things. I'm serious.

Alice, you've got major
ingénue potential.

I can see you up on that balcony.

[ENGLISH ACCENT] Sorry,
sir, but you're late

for your shift at the bank.

[LAUGHTER]

I'm trying to embrace it.

[NORMALLY] That's what I've been telling

my new friends here
today about auditions.

Embrace it!

Geraldine, you've just
got to go for Tybalt.

- You got that fire.
- Thanks.

And, Tommy, you'd be
lights out as Romeo.

You're twice the leading man Arthur is.

- I am?
- Yeah!

Don't let Lydia tell you otherwise.

Hazel! Want to get in on auditions?

I'm trying to get some
fresh blood in thespians.

Uh, thank you, but I'm
not the theater type.

Hey, look around.

The social order is dissolving
before our very eyes.

No jackets.

Doesn't matter what type you are...

socs, eggheads, wallflowers.

Up on that stage, we're all just actors.

- Can I see one of those?
- Absolutely.

Listen, I've got an idea for you.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

Hi.

Hi.

Do you want to walk home together?

Sorry, I think I'm gonna stay.

Not that I'm making much of a
difference riding this bench.

But, uh, I kind of don't know
what else to do with myself.

Okay.

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

I know you already think I'm crazy,

but have you ever thought about acting?

No. Have you?

I thought maybe I could try.

What an idea! Here you go, Buddy boy.

- [PAPERS SLAP AND BUDDY GROANS]
- Just a reminder, I hate your guts,

but I have bigger fish to fry right now.

♪

[SOFT SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪

[UPBEAT ENERGETIC MUSIC]

♪

Well, that turned out well, huh?

[BOTH LAUGH]

At least their families were supportive.

I really liked it once
you explained it all to me.

- [BUDDY CHUCKLES]
- New faces. Welcome.

For which roles will you
be selling your wares?

- Romeo and Juliet.
- Ah.

What?

Hey, I'm sorry. What were you thinking?

The apothecary. He has four lines.

I wanted to try acting,
not play the starring role.

I told you I'm shy.

You keep saying that.

Look, do what you want, but, personally,

I think you are the only one

smart enough to understand this thing.

[THEATER STUDENTS
BABBLING VOCAL WARM-UPS]

[BABBLING CONTINUING]

Alice?

You accidentally wrote
your name under Juliet.

Oh, well, Cy... Cynthia
thought that it might be nice

if we switch things up.

She helped us prepare.

Well, I hope she prepared you
for disappointment, Geraldine.

[BOISTEROUS JAZZ MUSIC]

Boy, this shall not excuse

the injury that thou hast done me.

Therefore, turn and draw.

♪ If you're trying to win her heart ♪

[NASAL AND HIGH-PITCHED]
Call me but love,

and I'll be new baptized.

Henceforth, I never will be Romeo.

♪ Abracadabra might be
just the thing for you ♪

Tybalt, here slain, who Romeo's hands...

[SIGHS]

Did slay, Romeo that spoke him fair.

♪ A little dab of abracadabra will do ♪

Good pilgrim, you wrong...

you do wrong, your palms...

uh, can I start again?

- Please.
- [EXHALES DEEPLY]

♪

Sometimes, she driveth
over a soldier's neck

and then dreams he of
cutting foreign throats,

of breaches, ambuscadoes,
Spanish blades,

- of healths five-fathoms deep.
- ♪ That little dab of abracadabra is you ♪

You missed Algebra.

Mm. Never gonna use it.

I got a lot of dreams, but none
of them involve solving for x.

Oh.

Lay these dreams on me.

Oh.

- Well, I narrowed it down...
- [CHUCKLES]

To doctor, professor, senator,

and/or first woman on the Supreme Court.

- [LAUGHS] And/or?
- Mm-hmm.

What about you?

I want to go to India.

Oh. Why?

I don't know, see what there is to see.

There's lots of places I'd like to go.

Peru, France.

I'd see what's so great
about that wall in China.

[CHUCKLES]

- [ROWDY ROCK MUSIC ON JUKEBOX]
- Hey. Let's dance.

♪

♪ This is the story of my first date ♪

♪ My dad said he'd drive
us so I wouldn't be late ♪

[GIGGLES]

Well, I think it's wonderful
you want to see the world.

Yeah. I don't know.

The only people in my family
who ever crossed an ocean

were on Uncle Sam's dime and time,

and that's not my style.

[LAUGHS] You didn't
have to join the m*llitary

to see the world, you know?

You could choose a career
that lets you travel.

Have you ever thought about college?

[SARCASTICALLY] Oh, yeah.

Well, I could help
you get your grades up.

I don't want to get my grades up.

If you're serious about your dreams...

Look, I'm not, you are,

so just get off my back about it.

♪ Need some dough so I can go ♪

I have to go do
homework before the game.

See you there?

Yeah, cool. Catch you later.

♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪

Okay.

Buddy and "Hazelle" reading
for Romeo and Juliet.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?

[SOFT SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪

[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]

Oh, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?

♪

I'm sorry.

♪

Poor dear.

Treading the boards is
not for the faint of heart.

♪

Alice!

Will you please read with Buddy?

Thank you.

[SOFT SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪

Oh, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?

♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪

Hey, you okay?

- I'm sorry if I...
- I'm fine.

The spotlight's just not for me.

- But you looked great up there.
- Okay.

Good luck.

Thank you.

♪

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪

[CHATTER AND EXCLAMATIONS]

Gregory? The servant?

Friar John?

k*ll me.

This is all your fault.
Why can't you just act nice?

[CHUCKLES] She'll have
to, to play the nurse.

Juliet?

Is this a joke? I wanted Mar-cuttio!

[SIGHS]

Mercutio.

A tomboy Juliet!

A maimed Romeo!

We are really going to shake
things up around here yet.

Wait, really?

I got it?

[SOFTLY] Yeah.

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪

[SIGHS]

Gosh, you work fast.

Mr. Daniels already approved it.

Off to print.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[MARCHING BAND PLAYING]

It's a beautiful day
on the Titans home field

as the Titans square off
against the Rydell Rangers.

Now, the Titans are currently
undefeated on the season

and are on a direct
path to the championship.

No flasks, no bullhorns,
no whistles, no jackets.

Today, we show everyone

there is no place for
delinquency at Rydell.

[MOCKING] So put that up your
delinquent butts and smoke it.

♪

Hey.

♪

Stupid dress code.

Is it really gonna
be like this all year?

I think things are gonna change soon.

- Where's Nancy?
- She hates football, remember?

Oh.

♪

Remember, this is for your art.

[TAKES DEEP BREATH]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[LAUGHTER]

♪

They love me?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[ENERGETIC UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪

ALL: Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally!

Get 'em, Wally!

That's my boyfriend. He's a quarterback.

- [CHUCKLES]
- ALL: Wally! Wally! Wally!

Wally! Wally!

- [ENERGETIC MARCHING BAND MUSIC]
- [EXHALES DEEPLY]

Eagles, Eagles! Hut, hut!

♪

[ALL CHEERING]

[GRUNTS]

[CROWD GROANING]

Quarterback is sacked, and
the Titans score a touchdown.

Yeah! Let's go!

Not a great start for
Rydell's newest quarterback,

making it Titans , Rangers .

- Boo!
- [LAUGHTER]

[CROWD BOOING]

[DOWNBEAT MUSIC]

Come on! We can still win!

I think!

I do not know the rules of
football, nor do I care to!

Hut!

♪

Another hesitation from Rydell,

and the Titans aren't letting it slide.

That's another touchdown for the Titans.

Oh, God!

♪

- Wally, hit the bench!
- [SIGHS]

Looks like Rydell is
turning on their own mascot.

[CROWD BOOING]

No wonder these kids can't win a game.

They need to be put in line.

Did they just throw a hot dog?

This is why my identity has
to remain a secret, isn't it?

Don't run on a straight line.

It just makes it easier
for them to hit you.

So is it hot off the presses yet?

No, it's in the trash.

What are you talking about?

You forged Mr. Daniels' signature.

When he found out,

he said he had to throw out
all the papers we printed.

Everybody's hard work down
the drain because of you.

Thanks a lot.

[DRAMATIC MARCHING BAND MUSIC]

♪

Why did you can the
entire article this week?

I thought once you read my paper,

that you would be on my side.

Because, as your teacher...

Stop saying that.

[CLEARS THROAT]

We were more than that,
and we both know it.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

♪

Fine. You're right.

We were more than that.

But it can't happen again.

Why not?

Those restrooms were a hike. [LAUGHS]

- Oh. [CLEARS THROAT]
- I almost got lost. [GIGGLES]

Olivia, this is Barbara.

- My fiancée.
- [BARBARA GIGGLES]

Pleased to meet you.

Likewise. I just love
meeting Leonard's students.

- [GIGGLES]
- Oh.

Give me the skinny, Olivia.

Is he the most handsome
teacher at Rydell or what?

[GIGGLES]

♪

[BARBARA GIGGLES]

♪

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

It sure is a rough
day to be a Rangers fan

and they forfeit another
play to a Titan touchdown.

Now they are up.

Even with benching number ,
Rydell cannot catch a break.

You know, Rowdy,

Buddy's my pal, but I gotta say

he comes out here and stinks every week,

and they never bench him.

I'm starting to feel like
I'm only good for one thing

at this school, and I just...
I just flat-wheeled it.

[DOWNBEAT MUSIC]

♪

Ah, forget it.

I'm just feel sorry for myself.

I know this is all in my head.

Oh, this is not in your head.

Everyone here blames us for this.

- Nancy?
- No names.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

What a towering kick made by the Titans.

The Titans are dominating this field.

This is probably hard on you

because you're popular for some reason,

but you get used to it.

When I was little, kids
used to throw rocks at me

and call me a dirty Jap.

They blamed me for the w*r.

- World w*r II?
- World w*r II.

I was still saying "pa-sketti."

I said "lellow" instead
of yellow for a long time.

When people want to blame someone,

it's easier to blame the
person who's different,

but just because a bunch of people

are loudly saying the same thing

doesn't mean you have to listen.

[CROWD BOOING]

♪

Still, it doesn't feel good.

But it's not all bad.

Once you realize you'll
never win with them,

you figure you might as
well do whatever you want.

So what do you want to do, Wally?

[ENERGETIC UPBEAT MUSIC]

Down, set, hut!

I'm going in! [LAUGHS DELIRIOUSLY]

- [GROANS]
- What's going on?

Rowdy, get off the field!

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

- Nancy!
- Nancy?

- [CROWD BOOING]
- Yeah! Yeah, it's me! What?

ALL: Boo!

- Get off!
- Get off the field!

♪

Put me back in, Coach.

Hell, can't get any worse.

♪

Go get 'em, Winslow!

Rangers, Rangers, hut!

♪

[ALL CHEERING]

♪

Number dives into the end zone!

Rangers score their first touchdown,

and their fans are going wild.

ALL: Wally! Wally! Wally!

That's six points for the Rangers.

Putting Number back in
play paid off for Rydell.

[ALL CHEERING]

Thank Balenciaga.

- Nancy!
- Mm.

That was wild!

It never happened.

Of course not.

I'm going home. Bye.

Wait. Are you okay?

[SIGHS]

I'm such an idiot for thinking

that this place could ever change.

Rydell is always going to be
miserable, especially for me.

Did something happen?

Mr. Daniels threw out my article.

I know it's just a dumb school paper,

but I really thought that what I wrote

was going to make a difference.

It made a difference to me.

That first article made me
feel like I wasn't alone.

And that's what our
campaign is all about.

[MARCHING BAND PLAYING]

Are we actually winning?

Nope, but we are losing a little less.

[CROWD CHEERING]

If they won't let you
say it in the paper,

we'll just have to find another way

to get the people's attention.

- Hey!
- Everybody, listen up!

- Come on!
- Listen!

Come on, listen up!

Come on! We're over here!

Hello! We have something
really important to say!

- Pay attention!
- Just one moment of your time!

Come on!

- Listen to me!
- This will only take a moment!

♪

Hey!

[MARCHING BAND STOPS PLAYING]

See what we can do
when we work together?

We can win. But that's
not what they want.

They want to pit us against each other

so they can control us,
tell us what to wear,

what plays to do, what music to play.

- We don't have to take it!
- Hey, I need that!

[BRASSY DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ You think I'm the
enemy, boxing up identity ♪

♪ But that's all they want us to see ♪

♪ Divide us into pedigrees,
we fight over everything ♪

♪ Instead of going 'gainst the machine ♪

♪ We keep on pointing fingers ♪

♪ Ready to pull the trigger ♪

♪ Be careful what you say ♪

♪ It's a shame on our names
when we play the blame game ♪

ALL: ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, hey! ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, hey! ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

- ♪ Hey! ♪
- Hey.

ALL: ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

BOTH: ♪ They want us to take the fall ♪

♪ Pinning us against the wall ♪

♪ Framing like it's all of our fault ♪

♪ So they can ride into the sunset ♪

♪ Taking all our powers ♪

♪ Abusing, accusing
teenagers like cowards! ♪

ALL: ♪ We keep on pointing fingers ♪

♪ Ready to pull the trigger ♪

♪ Be careful what you say ♪

Oh, come on.

ALL: ♪ It's a shame on our names ♪

♪ When we play the blame game ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, hey! ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

- ♪ No more pointing fingers ♪
- ALL: ♪ Hey!

♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, hey! ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, hey! ♪

♪ No, we don't have to take
it if we come together ♪

T-BIRDS: ♪ We don't have to
take it if we come together ♪

PINK LADIES: ♪ No,
we don't have to take it ♪

♪ If we come together ♪

♪ If we play the blame
game, it's a surrender! ♪

ALL: ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, hey! ♪

♪ Oh, no more pointing fingers ♪

♪ We don't have to take
it if we come together ♪

♪ Hey, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

- Sorry, teach!
- [GASPS] No, no, no!

- No!
- Go! Come on!

ALL: ♪ Hey!

♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, hey! ♪

Rosemary, what are you doing?

I want to be able to wear my
boyfriend's jacket at school.

Sue me.

ALL: ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, hey! ♪

- ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
- ♪ No more pointing fingers ♪

ALL: ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, hey! ♪

♪ No more pointing fingers! ♪

ALL: ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, hey! ♪

♪ No more pointing fingers! ♪

I'm getting all your names.

♪ No more pointing fingers! ♪

♪ Whoa, oh-oh! ♪

[BOTH GASP]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally!

Why are you cheering? We didn't win.

We only lost by two points.

Yeah, that's the best we've ever done.

[CHEERING]

[GIGGLES] I knew you could do it.

I'm pretty hungry.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON JUKEBOX]

- It's okay. It's fine.
- [CHUCKLES]

Hello? I'm trying to get
some service over here!

I just wanted to let you know

I'm going to do the play too.

But you didn't audition.

I was thinking I could do props.

We could still walk home together.

I...

don't think I'm going to do it.

Who am I kidding?

[LAUGHING] I can't do Shakespeare.

I am not a thespian.

Oh, yeah!

Of course, after tonight,

I'm not sure I'm much of
a football player either.

Buddy? Do you want to order?

I can help you run lines.

I'm not a thespian either.

I'm a shy science nerd, but...

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

I don't know.

What if we could be more than one thing?

♪

Buddy?

♪

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Yeah, you know what?

Let's do it.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[CHATTER AND LAUGHTER]

♪

♪ A lion is a lion ♪

Riveting! I mean, did you see yourself?

- And the band?
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Jane.

♪

BOTH: I'm sorry. It was...

[LAUGHTER]

What?

- [T-BIRDS STOP LAUGHING]
- [SUCKS STRAW]

♪

Look, I like that
you're a dog with a bone.

I could use a little bit of that.

But we're... [SIGHS] I don't know.

Different?

Maybe that's what makes it fun.

- [STIFLED LAUGHTER]
- [IMITATES GAGGING]

You know...

I could use a little
of what you've got too.

Want to cut fourth period tomorrow,

and we split our differences?

♪

No.

I'm sorry.

I... I hate missing class.

- It's cool, it's cool.
- [CHUCKLES]

But I will be hall monitoring tomorrow,

and if you happen to see a hall pass

that fell out of my jacket,

you could come return it to me...

in the broom closet
during second period.

Ow!

Oh.

♪ Trying to make a monkey out of me ♪

♪

♪ Ooh, I'm so disgusted ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[CHEERS AND LAUGHTER]

- Where's our hall passes?
- Yeah, what the heck?

I ran out. I don't have another one.

♪ Oh, hello little boy,
don't you remember me? ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪

Thanks for getting our jackets back!

Everybody vote for the Pink Ladies!

Vote Pink! Vote Pink! Vote Pink!

[WHISTLING AND APPLAUSE]

This is all your fault.

You know something?

I'm starting to like school.

♪ Well, but when you love me ♪

♪ Can't help but scream, hey! ♪

♪