02x01 - International Gander

[bunniefuu]

[deep breaths]

I've never been coddled,
swaddled or f*ndled.

I've never been coddled,
swaddled, or f*ndled...

Ay, bro, they said they
ready for you.

Come on, it's his routine.
Let him do it.

I take it back, what?
I take it back. Okay. Okay.

Don't be nervous, Dave,
everything's gonna be

exactly how it should be
because that's what you do.

I'm Maria Manzano,
Channel News, back to Dave.

That part's a little icky,
racially.

-Thank you, Maria.
Thank you, Maria.
-[knock on door]

f*ck it.
Let's just go.

[sighs]

Hey, you know it ain't nothing
to be nervous about, right?

This is big tycoon status
sh*t right here, man.

He's not nervous.
Stop saying that.

-How can he not be nervous?
-He's not.

He's ready, he's anxious.
He's excited.

Don't be nervous, David, okay?

Millions of people are
about to be introduced to you

for the first time;
this is exciting.

-You're making it worse.
-Okay.

It's just like riding
a bike, though.

It's muscle memory.
At this point,

you've done this thousands of
times, I mean, come on.

Nobody in my family
is ever going to die.

It's a fact.

Nobody in my family
is ever going to die.

It's a fact. Ha.
No one's gonna die.

-I love you, Bubba.
You're gonna be great.
-Shut up.

[announcer speaks indistinctly
over P.A.]

[applause]

[speaking Korean]

Korea...

[speaking Korean]

[weak applause]

Korean Music Awards.
Let's go!

[weak applause]

And we got BTS in the house.

[loud cheers and applause]

There's no BTS.

Huh?

That...

[whispering]:
Keep going, please.

[nervous laugh]

What the f*ck just happened?

-Man, that sh*t was hard.
-I don't think it was.

The feed didn't even show
the whole thing.

-You're fine.
-It wasn't on TV?

-No, you're good.
-Oh, my God.

-What is this?
-It's bulgogi, japchae...

-What time is it, Dan?
-It's : p.m.

-No, it's not.
-Uh, yes, it is.

No, it's not, we're on
American time, album mode.

-No jet lag, Dan.
-I thought that was a joke.

Dan, it's : a.m.
my time right now

and you're judging me.
That's a joke.

-Okay?
-Don't trip, bro.

You can get us some more
weed, intern?

This sh*t I gandered in
ain't gonna last us, bro.

Uh, o-okay.

Dave, you want your backpack?

-I prefer you keep it on you.
-Okay, yeah. Sure.

Please stop presenting me
with the food.

-I'm trying to work on my body.
-Oh, okay.

Dave, we want to--
Hey, I-I want to eat it.

-Uh, you hold it.
-Oh.

Uh, big news. CL. We've got
five minutes of her time

down by the loading dock
if you want to

-talk to her about tomorrow.
-If I want to.

No, I'm just gonna wing
the first video

for my first single
off my first album.

Okay, well, use that charm
on her, all right?

-Let's go talk to her.
-Okay.

Who is CL? What does CL stand
for, Corean Lady?

-I'm just joking.
-Have some f*cking respect,
Gata.

Chae-rin Lee.
She's a Korean pop star.

When you're big out here,
you get every stream.

Honestly, CL, I could not have
asked for a better guest first.

-You k*lled it.
-Thank you.

Change your name to CW,
because...

[man speaks Korean]

...I don't see any L's
the way I'm looking.

Do you know when the song
is coming out?

Uh, as soon as me and you make

the best music video
of all time tomorrow.

Uh, by the way, I did do
some tweaks to the b*at

and a few lyrics,
so now I added a drop.

-Okay.
-'Cause I want it to go crazy
a festivals.

-Yeah, yeah, sure.
-You know?
This is a global song.

So I, it's...
[humming melody]

♪ I just woke up in Korea...♪

[humming]

Oh, I can't believe this.

My one day off
just got fully booked.

This is crazy.
I can't live like this.

Have you ever read
the Calvin and Hobbesbook

The Days Are Just Packed?

Hmm?

Ah, Gata, I don't know if I can
do another -hour flight.

My back is k*lling me, man.

Bro, you gotta keep
the steak sizzling, n*gga.

Some things just must be done.

Or I gotta stretch more.

Look at CL's manager.
Look at how he squats.

He gets so low to the ground,
it's like his butthole

can touch the earth.

Why you watching
another man squat?

Because I'm impressed.

You talking about
how low he getting?

-Yeah, that's impressive.
-You about to blow my high, bro.

I'm about to bend the corner
and get faded, bro.

You always sayin' some
funny sh*t, bro.

CL:
You know what, you're lucky
your finishing

your album right now,
'cause that's the only time

I ever get to be in one place
all by myself.

I mean, for me, making an album
has been, like,

psychological, uh, chaos.

You know, you only get one
first impression, and this is

my debut, so it's like
it's got to be so smart,

so good at rapping,
so poignant,

like, so reinventive.

So-- So play me something.

Not my thing.

You know, I wouldn't even play
anything for Obama, who's...

Come on, you have to play it
for your management

or your label.

[chuckles]:
Those people are actually

the last people
on the face of the Earth

-I would ever play my music for.
-Buddy, what up?
-Oh.

Time to go. It's way too late.

Jae, did you know about
this change?

-I needed a day off.
-[speaking Korean]

I'm so out of the loop...

...on the language.
Can I get a selfie?

Make it quick, please.

-Okay.
-She needs her rest.

Wow. Okay. Uh...

All right.

Iconic on three.
One, two, three,

BOTH:
Iconic.

Yeah.

-We look great.
-Okay, gotta go.

-All right. Uh, take care.
-Bye, Dave.

-You too.
-Bye. I'll see you tomorrow.

[car starts]

Damn, bro, she look like
Iron woman, n*gga. That's crazy.

You in your Mr. Miyagi bag
right now, bro.

You see what the f*ck I do?

International gander, bro.
That's crazy.

-You see what I'm doing?
-She look like a Korean
Beyoncé, n*gga.

-[laughter]
-I'll see you guys tomorrow.

[exhales sharply]

♪

♪

♪

[muffled screaming]

[exhales]

[whispering]: Come on, CL.
f*ckin' like the picture.

Like the picture.

f*ckin' like it, CL,
just like the picture.

A'ight, G, you know
what the deal is.

International Gata out here
in Korea.

This the type of sh*t
your bitch like.

f*ckin' exchange rate.
Wonton soup.

All I do is won.

This room is plush!

Man, this room is
weak as hell.

These beds smaller
than my uncle's,

and he in the pen, man.

Oh. Sorry about your uncle.

Hey, it's all good, we don't
want him out and about.

But this room is weak, man.

-I thought it'd be
more player than this.
-I know, Gata.

But we're all gonna be
sleeping on the floor

if this sh*t doesn't sell.

Hey, is Dave always
this tense?

-He's not as funny
as I thought he'd be.
-Yeah, man.

I mean, I love the guy,
but you know,

he's putting the finishing
touches on his album,

so he's just going nonstop.

You know, you're seeing him
at his worst.

I know you feel like
you're eating the most sh*t,

but trust me, we're all
getting our taste, too.

He, Dan, how many Black people
in Korea, bro?

I need to know the answer.

Uh, I'm not sure.
I-I was born here,

but I grew up in Pomona.

And I bet you
there's way less redheads

than Black people in Korea.

Here we go again.

Dan, don't fall for
this sh*t, intern.

Seriously, bro, go to sleep,
get some rest.

No, it's real, though.
You know that, right, Dan?

We're the only race left
that it's socially acceptable

to make fun of, to dog on.

You know how many gingers
have been erased from history?

-Um, no.
-Yeah, lots.

Thomas Jefferson, redhead.
George Washington, redhead.

-Santa Claus.
-Oh, Santa.

You see him with white hair.
That's how they paint him.

But he had red hair...

-Right.
-...in the original drawings.

-He was quite musclebound.
-Wow.

He didn't have a gut.

-Can I go to bed now?
-In great sh... What?

Could I go to bed now?

-Yeah. Yeah, we have a long day.
-Cool.

Get to bed right now, Dan.

Go to bed. Got stuff
to do tomorrow, all right?

DAN:
I think you just...

-What is it? Oh.
-Turn... Turn the thing.
There you go.

-[alarm ringing]
-♪ I just woke up in Korea.♪

♪ What's going on
across the globe?♪

♪ L-I-L-D out here in Seoul♪

♪ I got kimchi, I got it all♪

♪ Bulgogi, galbi, sam gyup sal♪

♪ Gimbop that ass on the wall♪

♪ Back home, aw,
lil d*ck was small♪

♪ What's poppin'?
Korea, what is up?♪

♪ Let's drink Soju,
get drunk♪

♪ They love me right now♪

Oh...

♪ I took a sh*t in Korea.♪

♪

♪ Ah...♪

♪

Are the details Korean enough?

Because optics are so crucial
with this video.

You know, we're in
a f*cking race w*r back home.

Everything matters, you know?

W... well, you...

you are taking a sh*t
in downtown Seoul.

So...

Dan... [exhales]

Why are you weighing in
on creative?

Translate.

Be algorithmic. Please.

I have a real Korean man
right in front of me

that I came all the way
out here for.

-Dude. Okay. Okay.
-He's a director.

-Check.
-And by the way, I did--

Just so you know, I did a lot
of research coming into this.

Right, yeah.

It's like, I already know

that when a Korean baby's born,

it's one, instantaneously.

Did you know that?

-Yeah. Yeah.
-You knew that.

Did you know that % of
the world's consumable seaweed

comes from Korea?

I didn't know that. No.

Hmm.

[speaking Korean]

No, the seaweed.

-Tell him about...
-Oh.

[speaking Korean]

Could--

can we actually
check out the set?

-I have, I have a few notes.
-Oh.

What made you want to do
a K-pop song?

Oh, my God. How could you
not make a K-pop song

in today's era?
Are you kidding?

Every single video

that comes out of this country

gets, like, what?

Five million billion views
in a day?

It's the best idea
I've ever had.

It's a f*cking cheat code.

These fans affect, like,

global elections in politics.

I expect our video to get

million views
in the first day,

especially
I'm being, like, funny.

Like-- Being funny is gonna
be like being Elvis out here.

But...
I think that's, like,

-an American tool?
-Yeah. Aniyo.

Aniyo.What?

DAN:
Aniyo.

-Aniyo.
-Yeah.

Hey, can this whole thing
get, like, a little bigger?

Like more circ and pompinstance?

Like... I just feel like we're
really limiting the scope of...

-Big. Big.
-Big, yes.

-Action.
-That would be great,

-if you could do that, yeah.
-Yes, yes.

It needs, like, more scope.

[speaking Korean]

Oh, this is what
CL's gonna wear.

Great.
This seems, like,

all-encompassing,
full-service Asian garb, right?

-"Asian garb"?
-Yeah, like...

in the sense that it would
reach all the lands.

And-- 'Cause, ideally,
if I could have it my way,

we would really pick off
all the nations.

China, Japan,

like, Iran, Persia,
Sunnis, Shiites.

Everybody in the whole
f*cking region,

all the lands, if they could buy
into this, that would be huge.

From a population and, like,
a view, like...

Just the analytics.

Can you just go get the ketchup

-that I asked you for? For my...
-Yeah.

Thank you.

-My packets are in my backpack.
-Yeah.

Where is my backpack,
by the way?

-Um...
-I thought it was always

-supposed to be
on your body, Dan.
-Sorry.

Oh, my God.

-Okay?
-Yeah, yeah. Good.

-Oh, okay.
-Hey, Mike, where is she?

I don't know.

I've left her manager,
like, four voice mails.

This is insane.

No ETA?
We have no idea where she is?

I have no idea.
I can't get ahold of anybody.

We have to start sh**ting
her scenes,

otherwise we're gonna be
going into overtime.

-Like, now.
-Okay, can you control
your stress?

Because when you get stressed,
I get stressed.

I am controlling.
This is me controlling

-my stress.
-Really? That's crazy.

-Thank you. I'll do my job.
-DAVE: Thank you.

Gata, do you have
any more of that weed?

-I'd love to smoke.
-Bro,

they big trippin' out here.
I tried smokin' earlier.

Bro, they flipped out
on me, bro.

This is not L.A.

This sh*t's super illegal
out here, bro.

But thank God I got to blow some
last night by the car, man.

By the car?

Wait.

GATA: I'm blowing bud
regardless, n*gga. f*ck .

MIKE:
Hey, hey. We talked about that.

No "f*ck ."

-Just "some ."
-GATA: Yeah, that's true.

DAN:
Whoa.

She can't be
in a picture with weed.

You got to delete that.

Why wouldn't you warn me
about this?

I didn't know you posted it.

You don't follow me?

No, I-I didn't.

It keeps going to voice mail.

Okay? So...
What do we do now?

Well, I think it's 'cause

she's in this f*cking picture
with Weed Man.

No. Weed's not--

Is that-- is it a big deal here?

Kind of is, yeah.

-MIKE: Okay.
-f*ck!

What if we-- Can we sh**t this
without her? Is that even...

Without her?
She's a Korean pop artist.

You can't do a K-pop song
without a K-pop artist. Like...

-MIKE: Okay...
-We leave tomorrow.

MIKE:
Okay, I understand
we leave tomorrow.

All right? Well, our budget's

-on fire, Dave.
-Yeah.

I'm not sitting here and waiting

for them to just come
and hope it happens, okay?

We have to, like,
proactively go to them.

So, find an address of where
her manager works or something.

You want to go to the office?

I want to do something

so we can maybe f*cking
salvage this thing.

-Okay, I'll find the...
-Yeah, let's go.

-I'll find the office.
-Please.

Gata, come on,
we're going. Yeah. Let's go.

W-Wait, should I come?

Nah, Dan, I learned Korean
when you were getting ketchup.

[train rumbling]

♪

[sighs]

Hey. What are we gonna do
to smooth this thing over?

Do people come, like,
bearing gifts,

-or, like-- Ah, how can we...
-MIKE: Gifts?

N-- That's, like,

the last thing
we should be worried about.

I've been reading this article.

Apparently, like,
K-pop is super, super dark, man.

The managers control all
the aspects of their lives.

They tell them what they can
wear, what they can eat.

Crazy number of suicides.

So what are you saying?

That the manager is not
letting her come to our sh**t

because he saw the picture?
Is that what you're saying?

I think it goes
way beyond that, Dave.

This whole thing seems
to be run by...

[quietly]:
...the Korean mob.

Listen-- f*ck.
Is that why she was acting

so weird around that guy?

Like, she was so tense.

I know.

[groans]

f*ck.

Yeah.

I got sucked last night.

What?

You got sucked?

Girl was crazy.
Like, top dollar.

She blew my socks off, bro.

I'm talkin' 'bout
drenched me down.

Where?

GATA:
In the room.

In the-- in the hotel? Room?

In the 'telly, man.

It was haunting.

-GATA: Haunting?
-You saw?

Yeah, bro, I was gonna, like,
rearrange your bed and all that,

but I didn't want
to wake you up.

MIKE:
Very considerate, Gata.

[men speaking loudly in Korean]

-What? Whoa, whoa, stop.
What are you doing?
-[speaking Korean]

-[Dan shouts in Korean]
-Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

-What are you saying?
-What are you doing?

Why-why are you taking him?
What-what'd he do?

Yo.

What the f*ck was that?

We-we got to get off
at the next stop.

-Hey, gotta be about the weed.
-DAVE: Well, hold on.

If this is a Mafia thing,

I'm not doing anything about it.

We're getting off
at the next stop, dude.

I've had dinner with his mother,
all right?

I'm not getting off
at the next stop.

-We have to get CL, so we can...
-He has your backpack, bro.

With your laptop.

He has your backpack?

Tell me you backed it up.

Tell me you backed up
the album, dude.

No. [sighs]

No?

DAVE:
I don't make duplicates.

For the hackers.

We're getting off
at the next stop.

We have to get Dan
and your f*cking laptop.

f*ck!

-[shouting]
-Gata, thank God
you got this video.

This is insane.

Come on, Mike,
I'm from the hood.

Filming the cops
is a*t*matic, man.

Hello? Yeah, it's Dave.
From the sh**t.

-Uh...
-[woman speaking Korean]

Woof, I need someone
that speaks English.

Do you know-- do you know
who these people are?

-DAVE: Yes, it's...
-They took our friend.

[speaking Korean]

Okay, need it translated, then.

CL might not be coming,
so we need a contingency plan

if she does not come. Okay?

-Bye-bye CL, potentially.
-How do you say "police"
in Korean?

-The director. The...
-Take me to-- Take me...

Just need to talk to somebody
who can speak English, please.

Man, this sh*t giving me
anxiety, bro.

DAVE:
CL might not be coming.

Hey, use Find My Mac, bro.

The laptop in the backpack

-is gonna tell you
where it's at.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Dave, give me your,
um, your iCloud.

Use the password document
that I told you...

I don't have
the password document,

otherwise I wouldn't be
asking you for it.

Well, I mean, I don't know
what you want from me.

Open up your phone
and give it to me.

I'm on the f*cking phone trying
to save this video right now.

That is not what's important
right now, Dave.

-So give me your f*cking phone.
-[groans]

[driver speaking Korean]

Man, y'all got me f*cked up.

I'm trying
to enjoy myself out here.

Gata, you think I give a f*ck

about you having fun right now?

There's so many bigger fish
to fry.

Does this seatbelt work,
sir, or no?

-Does the seatbelt work, man?
-Okay. Okay.

Can you take us here?
To this? Yes?

Does this seatbelt...

[speaking Korean]

[overlapping arguing]

[tires screech]

[horn honking]

[speaking Korean]

[rustles]

Th-- What did he do?

-[speaks Korean]
-MIKE: Yeah.

What was he doing,
that-that guy? Huh?

-[rattling]
-[Dave exhales]

Uh... f... uh...

Could you give us fresh air?

I had farted.

So...

[horns honking outside]

Thanks.

[indistinct chatter]

[speaking Korean]

Is he ratting us out right now?

I don't know.
Hope not.

[driver continues
speaking Korean]

Give me the weed right now.
I'm gonna throw it

-out the window.
-No, are you crazy?

Bro, I ain't trying to get
ASAP Rocky'd in Korea.

I'm-a put this in my sock.

No, don't put it in your sock.
Give me the weed;

I'll throw it out the window.

Don't put it
in your f*cking sock.

-I ain't trippin'.
-Do not put it
in your sock, Gata.

What are you doing? Don't--

-Give me the f*cking...
-[knocking]

What your friend look like?

Uh...

You know...

H-He's...

A-- He's-- Facially,

he's an Asian man.

Stiff, black hair.

GATA: He has a lot of
ketchup packets in his pockets.

-DAVE: Skin...
-His name is Dan.

-Dan is his name.
-Dan?

DAVE:
Tan, uh, exterior.

MIKE:
American Korean.

Come with me.

[heavy door closes]

♪

Did you know that % of
the world's renewable seaweed

comes from Korea?

C-Consumable seaweed.

Oh, yes.

Thank God you're here.

Can you guys please
call my parents?

Dan, what the f*ck is going on?

Okay, so you know how
I lived here,

till, like,
I was five years old?

Yeah.

Okay, so,

Korea has this policy where,
if you're a man

and you're born here,
you have to serve, like,

two years in the Korean Army.

Regardless of how long
you lived here.

-That's insane.
-And my papers came up

at the train station,
they saw me...

They think I'm dodging
the m*llitary.

I... You're not, are...

You're not, right?

I didn't know about
the f*cking policy, Mike.

-MIKE: Okay.
-Or else I wouldn't have come
on this dumb f*cking trip!

-Okay.
-All right, I-I might not
be able to leave

for two years, dude.
Two f*cking years.

Damn, you on your
Nelson Mandela sh*t, boy.

They need to make a movie
about this sh*t.

I might have to join
the f*cking army.

-Yeah, that's very...
It's a pretty serious thing...
-MIKE: Okay.

-...that's happening.
-We'll make a call. Just relax.

I just want to go home, man.
All right?

Me, too, bruh.
This sh*t is crazy.

MIKE:
Dan, I'm gonna get
the legal ball rolling.

-[speaks Korean]
-It's fine. It's okay.

Dan, we need the backpack.

I-- Look, I know it's crazy.
We need the laptop, Dan.

Please, I-I'm begging you.
Please,

-ask him about it.
-He's more important.

It's important.
I know, I'm sorry, but please.

-GATA: We need that.
-We shouldn't be talking
about this right now.

-The guy's in
f*cking jail, man. No.
-MIKE: No, we should.

-DAVE: It's not the right time.
-[speaking Korean]

[speaking Korean]

-[sighs]
-MIKE: What is that?

It's confiscated
till I'm released.

GATA:
Man, tell these fools we
tryin' to make an album.

-Our livelihood is at stake.
-Relax.

-No, no, shut up, Dave.
-Just take account
of the situation right now.

-No, you f*cking realize
where you are.
-No, shut up.

That's everything we've worked
for, okay? No, we need that.

-We need that.
-Do you know what hip-hop is?

-It's an American art.
-[shouting in Korean]

-Relax.
-Hey, hey, hey.

Don't piss him off, dude. Okay?

Just call my parents!

Just calm down.
Calm the f*ck down.

-MIKE: You calm the f*ck down,
Dave.
-DAVE: No, you're not.

-[dog barks]
-MIKE: Just say we--
Dan, please.

If you would just tell him, give
us the bag and we'll leave...

Hey, f*ck you,
you f*cking assh*le!

All right? The world doesn't

revolve around you guys, okay?!

You are the one that
should be in jail for making

that offensive f*cking video
in the first place!

And I don't even like
your f*cking music, all right?

I applied for, like,
other f*cking internships!

Man, the laptop ain't even
got sh*t to do with him, bro.

[all shouting]

[overlapping shouting]

There's nothing on the laptop!
There's nothing on the laptop.

Relax.

What are you...? What the f*ck
are you talking about?

I don't have any other music,
okay?

I've been making it all up.
I have writer's block and...

I-I don't know,
I can't f*cking make songs.

I've been lying...

and pretending.

There's no... album.

[quietly]:
Whoa.

[speaking Korean]

[officers chuckling]

What'd he say?

Just get out of here, man.

And call my f*cking parents.

I'm sorry.

DAVE:
We'll get you out.

f*cking idiot.

♪

I can't believe I put all my
eggs into that f*cking basket.

You buggin', bro. This basket
the best thing I got going, bro.

Plus LD to go, bro.

n*gg*s where I'm from ain't
supposed to make it to Korea.

Hey. You good, bro?

Not really, if I'm being honest.

Why didn't you just
tell us, Dave?

I don't know,
it's f*cking embarrassing.

It's, like, I've been working
on it forever

and I just can't make songs.

Do you have one song done?

All I have is Korea.

Well, look, you know,
where I'm from,

motherfuckas ain't supposed
to make it... to Korea.

[snickers]

We ruined CL's life
for sure, but...

we-we got a job to do.

And I know I didn't take
a -hour flight, bro,

from South Central L.A. just to
see you sit here and look sad,

bro. Come on,
you better get in your bag, bro.

sh**t a video,
blow this sh*t up.

You know what I'm sayin'?
You want to be a legend

or you want to live
like a peasant?

All right.

[distant siren wailing]

GATA:
Man, I feel like we've
soaked up a lot over here, man.

-Oh, yeah, like what?
-Just the culture, the food,

-the b*tches, it's different.
-Yeah. Different country.
-CL. CL.

-CL's here.
-CL's here?

-Yes. We hurry. She very upset.
-Where is she?

[man speaking Korean]

What the... f*ck. No.

No! f*ck, f*ck. Stop, stop,
stop, stop. CL, stop! Stop!

Don't do it! Stop!
Listen to me!

I know what you're
going through!

I'm an artist!

I know what it's like
to be under pressure!

Look! Look at me, right now!
I'm spending my entire

music video budget for
the whole year on a K-pop song

and you know what?
I don't even listen to K-pop.

If I'm being honest about it,
I'm that desperate to succeed!

Okay, I know your manager
controls your life.

I understand, but I can
help you! I'm American.

You have my voice now.

We can do this together,
just come down...

-[screams]
-No!

-[thuds]
-[people gasping]

[man speaking Korean]

[indistinct chatter]

Big action! Huh?

CL, you scared
the sh*t out of me.

-My God.
-Uh, Dave,

who are you talking to?

MIKE:
That's a stunt double.

Oh, man, I got to go sit down.

-This sh*t tripping me out.
-You're here!

Yes! Amazing. I thought you
saw this picture with the weed

-and there was this
whole thing...
-What weed?

-Nothing. Nothing.
-No weed.

It is very disrespectful for you
to keep us waiting like this.

-Us keep...?
-No. No, you guys were late.
We didn't keep you waiting.

You said call time was : p.m.

I said it...

-It was American time.
-Mm...

So, Dave, about your speech...

You heard--
you heard everything?

-Yes.
-Okay, um,

he told me about this article
that was titled

"The Dark Side of K-pop."

I'll let him tell you about...

Yeah, I just,
I-I Cliffs Notes it.

I think I didn't
finish it and it's--

I think it's from , it's--
I think it was old, so...

Okay, so let me
get this straight.

So you come out here to
leech off of K-pop's success

-for your own good,
you're late...
-No, no. No.

...and you blamed that on me.

-Mm.
-Well...
-You broke the law,

and you thought I was
committing su1c1de?

-Uh...
-Yes.

-That's a concise summary of
what happened, but...
-Yeah.

Here's the deal.
Your manager was being really

kind of rude to you
and there was a tenseness...

First of all,
this is my head of security.

-Oh.
-And the reason I was tense...

-No. Don't do that.
-...was because

I don't want any of you guys
wasting my time.

I love K-pop.

I don't want to be a part
of you disrespecting it.

No, I'm not disrespecting it.
I think I love K-pop, too.

So let's make this video

-together, please...
-You know what?

You f*cked up... in Korea.

Annyeong.

-MIKE: What's-- What...?
-Annyeong.

I'm not married to anything
creatively. We could change it.

CL:
Whatever!

Now I have nothing.

Yeah.

♪ I took a sh*t in Korea♪

♪

♪ Whoo!♪

♪ Ah...♪

♪ Ah...♪

♪ Whoo!♪

♪ Ye-haw♪

♪ Whoo, whoo!♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah...♪

♪ Yes!♪